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Agent P(enis)

Summary:

Y/N has been harboring a crush on Aaron Hotchner for months...but what happens when you throw Perry into the mix?

Notes:

there's really nothing i can say to defend myself here i just. am deranged

also i am aware i switch from past to present tense for no reason i simply do not care

 

anyway enjoy ig

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

You smoothed your hands down your dress, trying to shake away the last minute nervousness that always came with going undercover. It was by no means the hardest part of the job- there were plenty of hostage situations and shootouts that could earn that title- but something about these operations always had you on edge.

The unsub had been targeting couples, and the team had figured out that his hunting ground was casinos. Reid’s geographical profile had narrowed down where he would be tonight, and so there you were, getting ready to play the part of the unsuspecting girlfriend to try to lure him out.

You had been with the BAU for six months now and everything had been going pretty smoothly. You got along well with your coworkers, you were passionate about the job, and you’d proved yourself to be a valuable member of the team. Everything seemed to be-

“Y/N, are you ready?”

Oh yeah, everything besides your huge crush on Aaron Hotchner.

You knew it was wrong- he was your boss, this was your workplace, and the last thing you should be thinking about while trying to catch serial killers was how good your coworker looked in a suit- but you couldn’t help it. There was just something about how he took charge, how he could silence a room with a single look, how he looked at you when you figured out a piece of the profile…

Needless to say, you’d been getting distracted a lot lately.

“Yes, sir,” You replied, opening the door to stand face to face with the man himself. He opened his mouth to say something but paused, looking you up and down, and you swear you saw his eyes linger for just a moment too long.

You took a breath, trying to get your mind back on track and away from thinking about how close he was standing. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

He sighed. “No, but it’s the best chance we’ve got at catching him. But you won’t be alone, Perry will be with you the whole time.”

Of course. Perry. It’s not that you didn’t like the other agent- he was without a doubt highly skilled, could figure out an unsub’s trap within minutes and could get out of hostage situations even faster- but you weren’t sure that he liked you. Or anyone, really. He was always silent, slipping in and out before you even realized he was gone. The only person he really seemed to get along with was Hotch. They had this sort of mutual understanding of one another. Oddly, it made sense.

You pondered this as you followed Hotch out to the car that you and Perry would be taking to the casino, trying to ignore the way his hand felt on the small of your back as he guided you into the passenger seat. Focus, you told yourself. You had an unsub to catch.

-------

Three hours later, you were wondering why you were so nervous in the first place. You and Perry had been making your rounds throughout the casino, keeping a close eye for anyone who fit the profile, and coming up with nothing. Not even anyone slightly suspicious. It was infuriating.

Deciding you needed to step it up if you wanted any chance at catching this guy, you walked up to the back of Perry’s chair. The unsub needed to see you as a target. With this in mind, you slid a hand down Perry’s chest, draping yourself over the back of him. You had expected the subtle look and raised eyebrow he sent your way. You made eye contact and nodded at him to continue his game, ensuring your message had been sent and he understood this new tactic.

What you hadn’t expected was to feel just how toned he was under his shirt, his firm chest coinciding with the muscles you felt in the bicep your other hand was currently holding. You’d always known he was strong- Hotch wouldn’t have sent you in with someone who couldn’t defend both of you in case things got messy- but actually feeling it? Now that was something else.

You’d been noticing a lot of things about Perry that evening. It had started when you’d walked into the casino and it seemed like his whole demeanour had shifted, the stoic agent you knew suddenly walking around with a charm and grace you hadn’t known he possessed. From there he had become a new man: one who would lean back in his seat as he fingered through his cards, send a smirk your way every time you said something sarcastic, stroll past the various tables with a presence that could only be described as debonair. It was like he was completely in his element here. For all you knew, he was.

And maybe it was the boredom, or the lights of the casino, or the fact that he had switched his usual brown fedora for a stylish black, but you swore you had never seen his blue skin look so enticing. You felt something stir inside of you.

And from the way he glanced up at you, you wondered if he felt it too.

It was in the middle of this thought that a man sauntered up to the two of you, asking if he could buy “you and your lovely lady” another drink. In an instant, your mind was back in work mode. This could be your unsub.

Now you had to play along so you could find out.

-------

It was nearly 2am by the time you made it back to the office. The unsub was in custody, having taken a bullet to the arm after he took you and Perry out back and pulled a gun on you. You knew you should have gone home by now, but you were still running on the nervous energy and adrenaline that came with the takedown, figuring you could put it to use by starting your report.

You were headed to the bathroom to change out of your dress when a voice stopped you.

“Y/N, can I see you in my office?” Hotch asked, standing just outside his door.

“Of course, sir,” you replied, setting your bag down on your desk and making your way up the steps.

As you walked in, Hotch shut the door behind you, moving to lean against the front of his desk. Perry sat opposite him, turned in his chair so his eyes tracked you as you entered the room.

Both men stared at you for a moment before you broke the silence. “Is there something wrong, sir?”

Hotch kept his eyes on you, tilting his head up. “Perry told me something...interesting that happened during the case.”

You looked over at Perry, confusion written on your face. “What?”

“He told me you gave him this look,” Hotch continued, pushing up from his desk and slowly walking towards you. “Like you wanted him.”

You took in a breath as Hotch stopped in front of you, closer than you’ve ever been. “I-”

“You know how I knew what it was he was talking about?” He paused, eyes holding yours, not allowing you to look away. “It’s the same look you give me.”

He reached up to grab your chin, moving even further into your personal space, his lips nearly touching yours.

“I already know you want me,” he breathed, his face so close to yours, and you opened your mouth to defend yourself but he beat you to it, “So the question is, do you want him too?”

Your gaze flicked over to Perry. Perry, who was smirking at you with that same damn look that had you rethinking everything you thought you knew about him. That still does. You forced your eyes away, looking anywhere but the two men as you try to figure out what the fuck is going on.

“Look at me,” Hotch said, no, demanded in that voice of his that hits all the right notes, the ones that make you go weak at the knees. “Do. You. Want. Him?” His grip on your jaw tightened, not giving you anywhere to go until you give him an answer.

So you do. “Yes.”

And then he’s kissing you.

Hotch kisses just like you knew he would: forceful, hungry, but with a hint of something underneath, something like longing, like you’re the only thing he’s ever wanted. It sends a shiver through your body, your heart racing at the idea that you could have that effect on him. He slides his hands around your waist, pulling you closer until you’re flush against his chest. You deepen the kiss in response, moving your arms to wrap around his neck as he shifts to subtly grind against you. You’re about to reach for his belt when you hear a soft growl from the other side of the room.

You break away from Hotch, turning to see Perry still staring at you, this time with a look that leaves no question in your mind about his intentions. Hotch sees it too, nodding his head to beckon Perry over. He gets off his chair and crosses the room, coming to stand in front of you. He only reaches to about your hips at his full height, and he sees the questioning look in your eyes as you try to figure out where to go from here. Hotch takes initiative, leaning down to pick the egg-laying mammal up so you’re face to face with him. He leans forward, lightly stroking his bill across your cheek, teasing you. He finally reaches your lips, using his bill to coax your mouth open before sliding his long, round tongue in. It’s nothing like you’ve ever experienced before. He works magic with his tongue, caressing your lips, your tongue, the inside of your mouth in a way that should feel foreign but instead has you leaning forward, desperate for more. You wonder what else that tongue could do to you.

Eventually Hotch’s arms begin to strain, so you move forward and pull Perry into your arms, not wanting the moment to end. Hotch guides you both towards the couch and you sit down, Perry immediately moving to straddle your bare thighs and pull you back in, a hand clutching your face. His other hand moves down, nimble fingers reaching under your dress to ghost over your underwear. He begins rubbing small, slow circles over your clit, making you buck your hips up in response. You realize it’s not just his tongue that’s magic; it’s all of him.

He moves his hand from your face, reaching up to pull your hair back with just the right amount of force to make you gasp at the pain. He moves down to your now exposed neck, nipping at the skin in a way that is sure to leave marks that will last for days. At the same time, his hand dips into your underwear, continuing to tease you with his thumb as he easily slips two fingers inside you.

You make a sound somewhere between a gasp and moan, and before you have time to process the feeling Hotch’s mouth is on yours again, making your head go empty with the feeling of both men surrounding you, taking you. Taking what’s theirs.

You pull back for air, your head still spinning as Perry slips another finger in you. “Fuck,” you breathe out.

Hotch leans in, a smirk playing on his face. “You like that, sweetheart?”

Perry looks up at that, watching as you try to piece together a response. “I- yes, please,” is the best you can manage.

Hotch has his hand cupped around the back of your neck, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “Please, what?” he says. “Use your words, Y/N. I know you can.”

You take a breath, closing your eyes to try and focus on getting your brain and your mouth to connect again. “Please- please fuck me, Aaron.”

You open your eyes just in time to watch his expression go dark, his eyes filled with lust before he grabs your legs and turns you so you’re laying on your back, Perry still seated on top of you.

Hotch- Aaron, because apparently that’s the level you’re on now- undoes his belt in one quick movement, moving his slacks down to finally release his aching cock. You figured he would be big- had fantasized about it more than once- but damn. He moves back onto the couch, settling between your open legs as he reaches up to slide your underwear off. His fingers run over your pussy, two dipping in to feel just how wet you are.

He looks up, giving you that same self-satisfied smirk. “Oh, you want it bad, don’t you?”

Perry turns to look at him, the two of them communicating something with a look you can’t quite decipher.

He turns back then, moving to unbutton his own pants as he raises an eyebrow at you and lets out a low growl.

“He wants to know if you can handle it,” Aaron says, his voice like gravel, “Handle both of us.”

You look Perry in the eyes and nod, not trusting your voice but knowing exactly what you want. You want everything they can give you. You want them, so badly it almost hurts.

With that Perry takes his cock out, nowhere near as big as Aaron but almost equally as impressive with its two heads, the left extending out farther than the right. He leans his hips forward, guiding it to rest against your lips. You open your mouth and try to relax your throat, letting him move forward as you work to accommodate the unfamiliar shape. It proves to be easier than you expected, your tongue quickly moving forward to explore his cock.

Not a moment later you feel Aaron slowly press into you. Excruciatingly slow. You hum around Perry’s cock, trying to get him to go faster, harder, anything to satisfy the fire burning inside of you. He lets out a laugh under his breath, slowing his pace even further so he’s barely moving at all.

“Needy, aren’t you?” He taunts.

You whine, far beyond the point of trying to preserve any humility and desperate for him to just move. Apparently that’s all it takes, because suddenly he’s pulling all the way out before slamming into you, gripping your hips as he finally gives you what you need.

Perry follows suit, pushing his cock farther in as you struggle to keep up with the both of them. You change the angle of your head and Perry lets out a moan, barely keeping from thrusting into your mouth and matching Aaron’s brutal pace.

You continue working him with your tongue, trying to keep your concentration even as Aaron moves one of his hands to rub your clit. You feel sparks flying through you, overwhelmed by the feelings of pleasure as both men use you, filling you completely.

Perry is growling above you, a deep, low noise from the back of his throat that you think means he’s close. From the way Aaron’s breathing, you can tell he is too. You push your head forward, taking as much of Perry as you can in your position, trying to send him over the edge.

It doesn’t take long before he pulls back, stroking himself a final few times before he’s coming, spilling onto your face and chest, his breath coming in quick pants.

You look up and find Aaron’s eyes pinned on you, on the sight of your lips glistening with the combination and you and Perry, and that’s all it takes for him to make one final thrust and release himself, his thumb still working your clit as he comes deep inside you.

You don’t know what does it in the end- the pressure building up inside you, the feeling of Aaron’s pleasure as he digs his fingers into your hips, the sheer feeling of both men watching you as you reach your peak- but your own orgasm hits you like a truck, making you throw your head back as it works through your body. By the end of it your legs are shaking, every part of you completely spent and flooded with endorphins.

You feel Hotch pull out of you and rest your legs back on the couch, Perry reaching up to try to wipe some of the come from your face. You let it happen, too exhausted to make any attempt to move. He lifts himself off of you, standing up to tuck himself back into his pants. Once he’s situated, he turns to give you and Hotch a quick tip of the hat.

And then he just. Walks out.

You turn to Hotch, your expression confused- and somewhat offended- but he just shrugs.

“He’s like that,” is all he says on the matter, moving to help you sit up before joining you on the couch. You lean against him, letting your breath even out as you come to terms with everything that just happened.

“Damn, Agent P,” you say, “I didn’t know he was such a...semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action.”

“You’d be surprised,” Hotch replies, “And if you’d like, I’m sure we can make this more than a one time thing.”

“Oh, absolutely,” you lean back, already thinking of all the things the three of you could do together. You wink at Hotch. “I gotta see what else that tongue can do.”

Notes:

i'd like to apologize to not only god but also jesus

 

leave kudos and comments if u liked besties <3