Chapter Text
We would say anything just to hear what we want
Right or wrong, then we lie to be forgiven
We would sell anything just to buy who we're not
Any cost, oh, we kill our way to Heaven
Oh, we kill our way to Heaven
Kill our Way to Heaven by Michl
Remus watched the city of London move through the window. He thought this was the way everything moved. Everything at its own pace. Nothing stopped for anyone or for anything. Not even if Remus felt like shit. Like his world had stopped moving. It was how it was supposed to be. Nobody would care about him, only himself. And perhaps…
“Alright, kid?”
Remus blinked coming back to reality. He saw Fenrir smiling at him through the rearview mirror. He smiled. Remus smiled back. Perhaps Remus had no one in the world, except for Fen.
“I’m okay”
Actually, Remus didn’t quite place what he was feeling. It had happened so many times that it wasn’t shocking anymore. Everyone just expected him to feel bad, but no.
“Of course, he is not okay Fen. His mother is in the bloody hospital”
“Don’t worry Em”
Emmeline was new with this. It was obvious this would’ve shocked her. She turned to look at Remus with concern. She was so pretty. Her dark skin, red lips, curly hair on a bun. Remus smiled mostly for her to see that he was truly okay. Emmeline smiled back. But she looked very concerned.
“I just don’t know what I would’ve done without my mum” Emmeline sighed “What about his father?” she asked Fen.
He snorted “Dead”
Emmeline gasped in shock. Poor girl. Remus found it amusing. She seemed like a girl who had had it all. Not posh precisely but a caring and loving family. Not like him and Fen.
“It’s okay Em. It was a long time ago” he answered.
“I’m so sorry Rem”
She turned to look at him and stroke his knee. Remus thought she was like an angel.
“So, your mum is your only family?”
“I am his family” Fenrir interrupted “Isn’t that right, cup?”
Remus felt warm at that thought. Of course, Fen was his family.
“Sure”
“Don’t worry lad” Fen continued “We’re gonna feed you up, get some booze in ya, and you’re gonna sleep like a puppy”
“Thanks Fen”
“I got ya, lad. I gocha!”
“And I’m here if you need to talk” Emmeline added “My auntie Susan was a phycologist. I reckon I must’ve learned something from her, right?”
Remus concluded he really liked Em. She was the best girlfriend Fenrir had had. Remus hoped he didn’t do anything stupid to scare her away. Or dump her, like he had done with his other girlfriends.
Fenrir laughed “Nah Em. Rem here is a tough lad, aren’t ya? He doesn’t need looney doctors”
“It’s not like that Fen! I’m not saying he is looney”
Remus laughed at that. He was feeling so much better. His mother would be alright. He was just going to leave the responsibility to the Hospital for a while. Remus was tired, so bloody tired. And he agreed to go to Fen’s apartment because he didn’t have the energy to take care of himself right now. And go back to “the crime scene” as Fenrir would call it.
“I will visit her tomorrow” he announced
“She’s gonna be fine, Remmy boy. You’ve done enough for her”
Fen was right. He had been sleeping in the hospital, day and night besides Hope Lupin. Ever since he found her on the floor, again. Fenrir had told him that if Remus showed her he will forgive her every time, she will continue doing it.
“ She needs a tough hand Remmy” Fenrir had said “She needs to see how this is affecting ya”
They got to a red light. Fenrir took the opportunity to turn up the volume, Punk Rock. Remus didn’t recognize the band. Fen kissed Emmeline, like he hadn’t kissed her in a while. He had; two stops behind.
Remus looked away. He focused on the car next to them. He saw a beautiful boy, around his age. He had black long hair, grey-bluish eyes, and a perfect face. He was smiling, that kind of smile that makes your cheeks hurt. And he was singing. Remus couldn’t listen to the song, drowned by Fenrir’s dark punk. But Remus saw how this boy and his friend in the driver’s seat bounced to the tune’s rhythm, singing at the top of their lungs.
Remus focused on the beautiful boy. He was really easy to look at. He finished singing and looked towards Remus’ direction. They exchanged glances for a few seconds. Then the bloke smiled a bit embarrassed that someone was watching him. And for some reason Remus blushed and he smiled back. The bloke said something to his friend. Perhaps warn him that Remus was there. But before Remus could see anything else, Fenrir’s car advanced so fast, leaving the two young blokes behind.
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Fenrir’s flat was not the fanciest place in London. But there was enough space to give home to Remus. And somehow Mulciber and Avery were always there. Luckily not tonight.
Fenrir took two beers from the fridge and sat on the couch, making room for Remus to sit next to him. Remus did.
Fenrir opened one of the beers and gave it to Remus. Remus didn’t like to drink that much. But he always did with Fen. Remus didn’t exactly know why.
“Em, why don’t you prepare some turkey sandwiches for me and Rem”
He said that not looking at Emmeline but without taking his eyes off Remus.
“What am I Fen, your bloody maid?” but Em was smiling, Remus couldn’t remember a time when Em didn’t smile.
“Does it look like I know how to make a fucking turkey sandwich?” Fenrir responded angrily.
“It’s okay Em. I’m not that hungry”
Remus was bloody famished. The food at the Hospital wasn’t particularly good.
Emmeline smiled.
“Alright, I’ll make them. But for Remus. Not you”
Fenrir rolled his eyes.
“Thank you Em” Remus said.
Emmeline winked before disappearing into the kitchen.
Fenrir stroked Remus’ hair gently.
“It’s alright lad, you’re with me now. Do you feel better?”
Remus was indeed feeling a bit safe, protected. He nodded.
“Drink up, my little cup” it was the way Fen used to call him sometimes “It will make you feel better”
Remus drank some more. Fenrir smiled and lied on the couch, finally relaxing. Remus was more relaxed as well.
“Thank you, Fen”
Fenrir had his eyes closed now. Remus continued.
“I didn’t know who to call when… And thank you for being there sometimes. At the Hospital, I mean”
Remus didn’t have any friends, only Fen. And Remus didn’t have any family, only his mum (or he thought he had her).
It took a while for Fenrir to respond. But finally, he smiled. Rubbing Remus hair.
“Of course, little cub” he said “You’ll always have me. We’re a pack, remember?”
“Alright you lazy wankers!” Em called from the kitchen “The sandwiches are ready!”
After they finished eating, Remus was feeling sleepy. All those poor nights at the Hospital were finally paying him off.
Fenrir was in horny mode, attacking his girlfriend's neck while she tried to clean up the dishes. She was laughing.
“Fen… Remus is here”
“Remus doesn’t mind… We’re family” Fenrir murmured on her neck.
“Not a close family” Remus replied
That made both of them laugh.
“I can clean. You can go ahead”
“Remus you don’t have to”
“Please I’m the guest”
“You heard him Em. He is the guest” Remus could see the lust on Fenrir’s eyes.
“You’re a wanker Fenrir Greyback” Emmeline laughed before turning to Remus “Good night, sweety”
“Good night”
Fenrir carried Emmeline on his arms, she was laughing. And Fen winked at Remus before disappearing into their room.
Remus concluded that he liked Em. And that he was bloody tired to care that her and Fen were probably shagging on the other room. Remus quickly cleaned up and went to sleep in the guest room. Remus was so tired, that he quickly fell asleep.