Archive of Our Own ^beta

‘We want to do it together, please,’ is the first thing Hajime tells the receptionist while grasping Oikawa’s hand tightly.

‘Together?’ the receptionist repeats, adjusting his glasses to hide his surprise. It’s not terribly uncommon for people to pick someone else to accompany them to meet their future self, but usually it’s a mother or a father or a family relative, not a fellow seventeen-year-old who’ll be just as nervous.

‘Yes,’ Hajime confirms. ‘We already made the arrangements.’ He lets go of Oikawa’s hand for a brief moment, muttering a guilty apology he hopes his best friend isn’t too petrified to hear, and reaches into his backpack to take out the paperwork. ‘Here’s our birth certificates, identification and our joint application form.’

The receptionist takes the papers and gives them a brief once-over, before entering their names into the computer. ‘Alright,’ he says. ‘I see your appointment is scheduled for five o’clock. So...’ he checks his digital watch. ‘You have ten minutes to get ready. Usually, we suggest preparing questions to ask your future selves. Since you won’t remember the details of your meeting, only the emotions you felt during it, no rules or regulations apply to the types of questions you’re allowed to ask. Anything goes. Your future selves are allowed to reveal as much information as they want. I’m sure you boys have already learnt this in school, but it doesn’t hurt to refresh your memories.’

‘Thank you,’ Hajime tells the receptionist, as he directs them on where to wait. Oikawa’s fingers seem to have grown even colder and tighter, wrapping themselves around Hajime’s wrist like a child scared of monsters. He hasn’t said a word their entire trip here, and Hajime is starting to feel the beginnings of a stress-induced headache. What if Oikawa doesn’t utter a word during their entire appointment? What if he sees his future self and panics? Or the opposite, what if he doesn’t see his future self and then they’ll know he’s dead in ten years?

Hajime reassures himself that Oikawa won’t die. He heard last week from the extensive social network that is the Miyagi high school volleyball scene, when he was asking around for tips on what to do when meeting yourself ten years into the future, that Ushiwaka had already gone through the process and remembered feeling happy throughout his appointment. Which means his future self definitely hadn’t died, which means future Oikawa would probably stay alive if only out of sheer spite to live longer than his self-proclaimed mortal enemy.

Hajime inhales slowly. I’m okay, he tells himself. I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay. He repeats it until it becomes a steady, constant mantra in his head.

‘Iwa-chan,’ Oikawa says in the calmest, steadiest voice Hajime’s ever heard, which means he’s close to absolutely losing it. ‘I’m scared.’

Hajime’s eyes snap open. He turns to look at Oikawa, who is staring intently at nothing. He looks like he does whenever the score’s up in deuces and the other team has the lead, and his shaking fingers do nothing to quell the sudden anxiety bubbling up in Hajime’s chest. ‘Me too,’ says Hajime, hoping he sounds reassuring. ‘Do you... do you want to prepare some questions? Like he said?’

Oikawa laughs humourlessly. ‘No,’ he says. Then, ‘I don’t know. Maybe.’

‘Okay,’ says Hajime, licking his lips because suddenly his mouth feels a little dry. ‘What kind of questions?’

‘Um,’ Oikawa begins eloquently. He drops his head into his knees. ‘Fuck. God. Um.’

‘Take your time,’ says Hajime encouragingly, even though he himself feels close to passing out. He tries to repeat his mantra of it’s okay again, but it doesn’t stick in his head, not when his overpowering concern for Oikawa sweeps the rest of his thoughts away like a tidal wave. Hajime feels like there’s almost no room for anything else but Oikawa in his head sometimes. Maybe that comes with the territory of being his best friend.

When he was very little, Hajime’s mother had sat him down and explained that Oikawa would always be the kind of person that took up a lot of space. He required attention like oxygen, soaked it in like it was his birthright.

Hajime, five years old and already bored with this talk, had dismissed his mother’s concerns without so much as a second thought. He already knew this. It’s never posed a problem in their seventeen years of friendship, because Hajime’s always been the the kind of person good at making space for the people he loves. Even if that means having to push everything else aside. Some people would consider that hard work, or unnecessary, but to Hajime, it’s just who he is. Who he’s always been. Someone who knows what to push aside, to make room.

‘I...’ Oikawa looks up, a frenzied look in his fever-bright eyes, at odds with the rest of his face that’s frozen in a blank smile. He’s so used to putting on a confident front for the team that sometimes only parts of his face will betray the emotion he’s really feeling, like how his eyes will widen and his hands will shake and his feet will tap-tap-tap against the floor, while his smile will stay frozen and his voice will stay steady and his shoulders relaxed. It’s okay. Hajime is well-versed in reading Oikawa-language. He doesn’t need Oikawa’s voice to tremble or his hands to run through his hair to know intimately what his best friend is feeling. He doesn’t need the obvious cues when he’s already fluent in the subtleties.

Oikawa breathes out slowly. ‘You remember that offer Jose Blanco made me?’

‘Of course I do,’ Hajime responds instinctively, because how can he not? It’s all they’ve been skirting around talking for the past few months. He doesn’t have the time or patience to dance around it anymore for Oikawa’s sake, though, and decides just to say it straight out- what he’s been thinking all these months. ‘You want to know if you go to Argentina.’

‘I want to know if I’ve made it in Argentina,’ Oikawa corrects, the calmest he’s sounded yet, which is how Hajime knows he’s currently in the midst of having a mental breakdown. How calm Oikawa sounds is directly proportional to how close he is to snapping.

Hajime doesn’t comprehend the words at first. They sink through him like ice through hot water, shocking him before he can begin to digest them. Usually he has to coax truth gently out of Oikawa’s many layers of deception, and he’s been doing it so long he’s become an expert, but never before has a statement so straightforward- well, as straightforward as it can get when it relates to Oikawa- come out of his best friend’s mouth.

‘You’ve already made up your mind,’ Hajime says, feeling betrayed and proud and panicked all at the same time. ‘You’ve already decided you’re going to Argentina.’

‘Yeah,’ Oikawa admits like he’s confessing to a crime, and he looks at Hajime for the first time since they’ve sat down. He looks small, and scared, and all of Hajime’s feelings of slight betrayal that he wasn’t told sooner are pushed aside to make room for this wonderful boy of seventeen years, who’s been Hajime’s best friend for just as long. ‘Is that okay?’

They both know he’s not really asking permission. Oikawa has never asked permission a day in his life, not when it concerns his future. He always chooses to plunge in head-first, juggles all the risks like knives, narrowly avoids being scratched and if he comes out alive it’s a victory. He’s always come out alive, every time, even if he has to swim up for air sometimes or gets nicked by a particularly sharp blade. And if he doesn’t remember to save himself when he’s drowning or patch up his wounds, it’s okay. Hajime will be there with a waiting hand and bandages.

Hajime answers anyway, because it’s not about the permission. ‘Yeah,’ he says, unable to stop himself from smiling helplessly. ‘Don’t worry about it. Of course it’s okay, Tooru.’

Oikawa breaks out into a relieved grin. ‘Thank you,’ he says to the ceiling, like a prayer, before turning back to Hajime. ‘I was going to wait until the Inter-Highs to see if we had a last shot at going to Nationals before making a final decision, but even if we did- even if I did manage to make a name for myself here- I don’t think I’d want to play for Japan. It’s so...’ he trails off, wringing his hands. ‘I don’t know. Stifling. And I’d have to see Tobio-chan wherever I go, and I wouldn’t get to crush everyone I wanted-‘

‘Oh my God,’ says Hajime, rolling his eyes. ‘Of course getting to crush everyone is a major influential factor when making the life-changing decision to move continents. I don’t know what I expected.’

‘Okay, shut up,’ Oikawa laughs. ‘Don’t act like you wouldn’t know that would be the first thing I thought of.’

‘No, no, you call me out all the time for being able to predict your actions, but it’s only because I just ask myself what the pettiest course of action only the world’s most massive asshole would do and inevitably, that ends up being exactly what you did. Literally every single time,’ Hajime grins. ‘That reasoning has never failed me.’

‘You’re so mean, Iwa-chan,’ Oikawa snickers, shoving Hajime. ‘It’s so uncalled for every time. How are you going to make friends in California?’

‘I’m beginning to think you only say ‘Mean, Iwa-chan!’ because you don’t have enough of a brain to come up with a good retort on the spot,’ Hajime remarks thoughtfully, making sure to exaggerate Oikawa’s whiny voice to a degree that’s definitely unrealistic- not that he’ll ever admit that. ‘Also, shut the fuck up. I’ll probably make even more friends because you won’t be hanging off my arm all the time taking up all the hours in my day.’

‘First of all, I don’t sound like that!’ Oikawa retorts, face growing an interesting red. ‘I’m not so... high-pitched and whiny and- whatever! Also, everyone will probably be scared off by your face anyway! It’s so- brutish and- sharp and-‘

‘Ah, but you like my face,’ Hajime says smugly, leaning in.

Oikawa turns even redder and pushes Hajime away by the shoulders, refusing to so much as make eye contact. ‘Do not!’

‘Do too.’

Oikawa stands up huffily and brushes the nonexistent dirt off his pants. He pointedly doesn’t look at Hajime until he’s finished. ‘Anyway-‘

The door to the room of their appointment swings open. A young lady with glasses and long black hair peeks out and checks her clipboard. ‘Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, please come inside for your appointment,’ she says.

The playful atmosphere from five seconds ago vanishes completely. Hajime swallows, his throat feeling uncomfortably dry, and out of the corner of his eye he can see Oikawa wiping his sweaty hands on his pants before they head in.

The door swings shut behind them. Hajime looks around the room, which is mostly empty except for two chairs and a large clock hanging on the wall. Tinted one-way windows line the wall directly opposite from Hajime, where experienced people will be looking in ready to cancel the meeting at any time to ensure the safety of their present selves. Hajime’s heard of the horror stories where people met their future selves and they turned out to be serial killers or something, and the only reason meeting your future self is still legal is because it’s obviously a fact that anyone who meets their future self is destined to live during and after this encounter. Otherwise if they ran the risk of dying during the meeting, it would be outlawed.

The girl looks oddly familiar, Hajime thinks. She notices him staring while she checks off some boxes on her clipboard, and gives him a curious eyebrow raise.

‘Sorry,’ he says on reflex. ‘It’s just I think I know you?’

‘Oh,’ the girl exclaims, a small sheepish smile tugging at her lips. ‘I’m Shimizu Kiyoko. You probably know of me as Karasuno’s manager. I volunteer here in my free time to get more job experience for university.’

‘Oh,’ Hajime exclaims, her face finally clicking in his mind. ‘Nice to see you again, Shimizu-san.’

‘Likewise,’ Shimizu nods, and resumes scribbling something on her clipboard. There’s two minutes til the appointment starts, and Hajime begins to fidget.

‘Did you also go through this process?’ Hajime asks out of curiosity.

‘No,’ Shimizu replies, and pauses. ‘I used to look forward to it a lot when I was in middle school. I was an athlete, before, and I wanted to see what I’d be like when I grew up. Then I quit. So... I don’t have any expectation of what I’m going to see anymore.’

‘Oh,’ says Hajime, because what is he supposed to say in response? That he doesn’t know her pain, but he will soon? That he can only imagine the staggering weight of her loss, but soon he won’t have to? Me too, he wants to say, wants to sympathize, but he hasn’t faced the reality that is his volleyball career ending after high school yet and he has an inkling that giving up something you sacrifice blood sweat and tears for is much more painful than Shimizu’s calm tone makes it out to be. ‘That’s okay. A lot of people don’t know what they’re doing yet. We’re only seventeen, it’s not necessary to have so many plans and expectations for your future self. You could- you could still do it, you know. Make an appointment, or whatever. If you want,’ Hajime offers, but it feels weak.

Shimizu shakes her head gently, and looks to the ceiling. ‘No, it’s okay,’ she says, and there’s something in her tone Hajime hears so rarely that it takes a minute to put his finger on the emotion, but it clicks eventually. She sounds... peaceful. ‘I don’t know what I’ll end up doing with my future, but I’m not particularly curious to find out. Sometimes I think... you just have to take it one step at a time. I know I’ll find out in due time.’

She looks back at Hajime, and laughs slightly, lifting her hand to her mouth to cover her smile. Her shoulders shake. It’s kind of endearing. ‘Sorry,’ Shimizu apologizes. ‘I think that’s probably the worst thing I can say when you’re about to meet your future selves. Everyone has their own path to take, I guess.’

‘Yeah,’ says Hajime, unable to say anything else except find Oikawa’s hand and intertwine it with his again because in normal circumstances where Oikawa is presented with a pretty girl his age, he’d be shamelessly flirting with her and the fact that he’s become near petrified yet again is not a good sign.

‘He’s abnormally quiet today,’ Shimizu remarks, gesturing to Oikawa with her pen, and Hajime remembers Oikawa actually has shamelessly flirted with Shimizu before- where she shut him down completely, which is behaviour Hajime can’t help but deeply respect- so of course she’d know how talkative he’s supposed to be.

Hajime can’t help the snort that comes out of his mouth. ‘I’m savouring it while it lasts.’

‘Mean,’ Oikawa mumbles distantly, his hand grasping Hajime’s tighter.

‘Alright,’ says Shimizu, finally putting her pen away. ‘The room is secure. We’ll cancel the meeting if anything goes wrong, so don’t worry about anything. You’ll have ten minutes, then after that your future selves will return to the future and you’ll forget the details of this meeting. You can look at the clock for reference. Also- you were checked by security before heading into the building, right?’

‘Yes,’ Hajime confirms. ‘We left our phones with security, and we don’t have any recording devices or anything.’

‘Okay,’ Shimizu hums. ‘I wish you the best, Iwaizumi-kun, Oikawa-kun.’

‘Thank you, Shimizu-san,’ says Hajime.

He nudges Oikawa, who blinks twice before remembering where he is. ‘Ah,’ he says. ‘Thanks, Kiyoko-chan,’ he adds, half-heartedly throwing in a wink and a smile.

Shimizu looks unimpressed. ‘Excuse me. I meant, I wish you the best, Iwaizumi-kun,’ she corrects pointedly, ignoring Oikawa completely, before heading out.

Hajime snorts as the door closes after her. ‘You deserved that,’ he says to an Oikawa who looks more than slightly offended.

‘I absolutely did not,’ Oikawa retorts.

‘You did- oh shit, what is that?’ Hajime exclaims, backing up several steps.

In front of them, two figures begin to materialize. They start off as outlines, before slowly gathering more and more matter, like pixelated characters in a video game.

‘Do they just- materialize?’ Oikawa whispers. ‘Just like that?’

‘I mean, I guess!’ Hajime half-screams, throwing the one hand that’s not intertwined with Oikawa’s up in the air. ‘Since that’s what happening right in front of us!’

‘No need to be so snappy with me,’ Oikawa retorts, but he takes a few more steps backwards as well.

They both stare, enraptured, as their future selves form. Hajime feels like he’s having an out-of-body experience, because he feels lightheaded watching the wavy sweep of what can only be Future Oikawa’s hair form across his head and deepen into the chestnut brown he knows so well. He watches as his limbs start to fill in, transforming from a shadow to actual solidness. Hajime’s eyes flit to his own future self, and the first thing he notices is that those are not the arms of a man who has given up on the arm routine he’s had since his first year of high school, and feels pride.

‘Oh my God,’ says Future Oikawa. ‘It’s happening!’

Oikawa jumps back. ‘Holy fuck,’ he tells Hajime urgently, ignoring the fact that he almost just tugged Hajime’s arm out of its socket. ‘He’s talking!’

‘What did you expect? We came here to talk to him! And don’t say ‘he’ like that, he’s you!’ Hajime exclaims.

‘Well, I can’t very well say ‘I’ when I’m referring to someone else!’ Oikawa half-screeches.

‘But that’s not someone else, that’s your future self-‘ Hajime protests.

‘It’s no use arguing with him, you know how he is,’ Future Hajime laughs.

Hajime startles violently at the sound of his own voice, but deeper and older. ‘Holy fuck!’ he exclaims, clutching his chest with his free hand, much to the amusement of his future self and Future Oikawa- who, in Hajime’s opinion, still seems very much like an asshole as he cackles over Present Hajime’s response. ‘Don’t fucking- don’t do that! Don’t scare me like that!’

‘See!’ Oikawa crows insufferably. ‘See, now you know how I felt just now-‘

Hajime hits him.

‘Ow, Iwa-chan, do you really have to solve all your problems using such caveman methods-‘

‘You’re still talking, so evidently no problem has been solved,’ Hajime deadpans.

‘I forgot how mean you used to be,’ Future Oikawa remarks. Hajime and Oikawa both still at the sound of Future Oikawa’s voice, deeper and- what the fuck- a lot hotter than Hajime remembers it being.

Hajime’s already dealing with an unrequited crush on his best friend. To have to deal with an infinitely hotter version of Oikawa Tooru at age twenty-seven is actually, actually going to be enough to kill him because while he’s certain he hasn’t skipped his arm workout routine, Future Oikawa definitely hasn’t skipped anything. Out of the corner of his eye as he’s shamelessly staring at Future Oikawa, he sees Future Hajime bite back a laugh and feels incredibly betrayed.

‘Used to be?’ Future Hajime responds, raising an eyebrow in skepticism.

‘Pfft, don’t give me that face,’ Future Oikawa scoffs. ‘You adore me.’

Future Hajime breaks out into a grin. ‘Yeah, I do.’

‘What the fuck,’ Hajime says.

‘Aww, Iwa-chan!’ Oikawa exclaims, batting his eyelashes. ‘You admitted you adore me! Of course the omniscient Oikawa-sama already knew that all along, but to have you finally say so is-‘

‘Oi, I didn’t say shit!’ Hajime interjects. ‘He’s the one who said it!’ he says, pointing to Future Hajime before sending him a glare. ‘Thanks a lot, by the way.’

‘You’re welcome,’ says Future Hajime mildly, stifling another laugh.

Before this, Hajime had naïvely thought his future self and his present self  would be united in one goal: lovingly bullying the two Oikawas. Evidently, he was wrong. Future Hajime seems to only serve one purpose, which is apparently to make Hajime’s life infinitely harder by not even trying to hide the fact that he’s still in love with Oikawa. Hajime might be oblivious sometimes, much to the chagrin of the surprising number of people who’ve tried to subtly ask him to stay after class to confess to him this year, but even he can recognize his own lovestruck look when it’s quite literally staring him in the face.

Yes, Future Hajime is still whipped for Future Oikawa. Which actually kind of fucking sucks to be honest, because Hajime had thought ten years would be enough time to move on. But- well- whatever. At least they’re still friends. There’s nothing he can do about it now.

‘Wait a moment,’ Oikawa says suddenly, approaching his future self like one would a wild animal.

Future Oikawa looks curious. ‘What?’

Oikawa looks Future Oikawa up and down three times, before crowing in delight. ‘I’m one cm taller! I’m one cm taller, right?’ he declares, jumping up and down in excitement.

‘Actually, it’s one point two cm,’ Future Oikawa grins, holding up both hands for his seventeen-year-old self to high-five.

Oikawa does so with great enthusiasm. ‘Wow. This is actually so awesome. I genuinely don’t know what would make this better,’ he says.

‘Yes you do,’ Future Oikawa grins, shark-like.

Hajime does not like where this is heading.

‘Oh, yeah,’ Oikawa realizes, eyes widening. ‘Oh yeah! I do!’

He turns predatory eyes on the two Hajimes. ‘So did Iwa-chan grow at all?’ he asks, sounding like he already knows the answer.

‘Yeah, Iwa-chan, did you grow at all?’ Future Oikawa sing-songs.

‘Shut up,’ Future Hajime says, rolling his eyes, and yes- it’s what Hajime would say, too, but it sounds far milder than how he’s used to responding. Oikawa seems to notice this too, and stares at Future Hajime.

‘Between you and me, engaged life has really mellowed him out,’ Future Oikawa stage-whispers to Oikawa, and- what?

Future Hajime is what?

Oikawa jumps like he’s been electrocuted. He looks at Future Oikawa with something akin to betrayal in his eyes, seemingly trying to communicate with him non-verbally. He gestures between himself and Hajime frantically while looking at his future self with a silent, frantic question. ‘What? Wait. Are you serious?’ Oikawa demands.

Future Oikawa nods, pressing his lips together to withhold a smile.

‘How- what? How could you let- huh?’ Oikawa croaks out.

Hajime feels like he’s the only one who doesn’t know what the fuck is happening, because Oikawa looks on the verge of freaking out, Future Oikawa looks half-sympathetic, half-amused, and Future Hajime is unsuccessfully hiding his laughter by coughing rapidly into his left hand, a hand that Hajime only just now notices has a silver ring on it.

What the fuck?

‘Wait.’ Hajime interrupts. ‘Wait. Back up. I’m engaged?’

The silver ring on his future self’s hand looks, unfortunately, very real and solid and expensive. Hajime racks his brain for scenarios on how this could’ve happened, because he knows what a lovestruck look on his own face looks like, and by the looks of it Future Hajime definitely has not fallen out of love with Future Oikawa. Fuelled by some burst of desperation, his eyes can’t help but train on Future Oikawa’s hands, but lo and behold- a ring is nowhere to be found. He beats himself up immediately for even daring to entertain the prospect that Oikawa might somehow return his feelings, because he knows for a fact there’s next to no possibility of that ever happening.

It’s okay, Hajime tells himself. You weren’t really expecting to get married to Oikawa, were you?

Except there’s been a treacherous voice in his head ever since the second year of high school saying yes, yes I was, because I’ve picked out wedding colours and where we’ll buy our first apartment and where we’ll live together for the rest of our lives so please tell me I’m not getting married to someone else, please tell me why I have a ring on my finger in the future and Oikawa doesn’t, because I can’t possibly imagine not wanting to spend the rest of my life with my best friend-

Future Hajime must see the panic on Hajime’s face, because for a moment he looks sympathetic, and Hajime wants to shake his shoulders and ask him how the fuck this ended up happening, but against all his expectations Future Hajime starts laughing.

Hajime has never hated anyone more. And there was one time Oikawa ate the last of the agedashi tofu on his birthday, so he knows how much he can hate someone, thank you very much.

‘Oh, this is just cruel,’ Future Hajime says mock-disapprovingly, but his shoulders are still shaking with suppressed laughter, and good arm workout routine or not, Hajime is one step away from bitch-slapping the shit out of his future self. ‘Now I know why Makki and Mattsun had so much fun making fun of us.’

‘They were just jealous of us,’ Future Oikawa sniffs.

‘Hold on,’ Oikawa exclaims, panicked and waving his arms around. ‘Wait. Pause. Okay. So how old was Iwa-chan when he got engaged?’

‘Twenty-seven,’ both Future Oikawa and Hajime say in unison. Hajime’s eyes snap back to his future self, who looks so calm about this whole ordeal, and how can he just stand there smiling when he got married to someone who wasn’t Oikawa? He’s basically ruined Hajime’s entire life, because what the fuck, how can someone fuck up this badly, and it’s not like Hajime doesn’t want his future self to be happy when Oikawa inevitably won’t feel the same towards him but Future Hajime is obviously still smitten with Future Oikawa and marrying someone you’re not even in love with is such a terrible thing to do-

‘So... he must’ve known his partner for nine, maybe only eight years before getting engaged? If they met at university?’ Oikawa says, his voice rising higher and higher. ‘Well- I- that’s- that’s not a very long time to know someone, I mean there have to be people you’ve known longer, right, do you think it was really a good decision-‘

‘I think it’s a long time to know someone,’ comments Future Hajime, who’s clearly enjoying this. Hajime has never felt more furious. ‘But I knew them way before that. And actually, I can say with complete certainty that it was the best decision of my life.’

Future Oikawa breaks out into silent giggles.

‘Before that?’ Oikawa demands, his voice the highest it’s ever been. ‘You- so- so Iwa-chan knows this person right now? The person he’s marrying?’

‘Yes,’ says Future Hajime, with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Oikawa looks like he’s frozen. He breathes in and out slowly, before whirling around, and he’s- oh, God, he’s stalking up to Hajime with a deceptively calm look on his face. ‘Who is it.’

‘I swear, I don’t know!’ Hajime exclaims, putting his hands up in surrender. He backs up a few steps and accidentally almost trips over the chair behind him.

Oikawa is still coming closer. ‘Yes you do,’ he says. ‘You know them now, right? Future Hajime said so.’

‘Future Hajime is an asshole and you shouldn’t listen to him,’ Hajime says pointedly, looking over at Future Hajime, who doesn’t even have the decency to hide his amusement at the whole situation.

Actually, Hajime really doesn’t get what’s supposed to be funny about all of this. Unless his future self has turned into some sadist, Hajime really doesn’t get why he seems so entertained by this whole situation, because Present Hajime is just confused and lost and frustrated and kind of just wants to go home. He wants to forget how he has a ring on his left hand but all Future Oikawa’s fingers are bare. He wants to forget the frustrating way he still looks at Oikawa like his best friend hung the moon, which is much more nauseating to see from an outsider’s perspective than when he’s doing it himself. He actually gets why Makki and Mattsun make gagging noises when they’re together so often now, but they just end up rubbing in the fact that Hajime has an unreciprocated crush in deeper.

‘Do you like anyone now?’ Oikawa presses urgently, and the tip of his nose is way too close to Hajime’s face, and his hands are on Hajime’s shoulders, and what the fuck- he can hear laughter in the background, their future selves have the audacity to laugh at them-

Hajime makes a strangled sound and pushes Oikawa away from him. His cheeks feel like they’re on fire, and he can feel the heat spread to the tips of his ears.

‘You’re blushing,’ Oikawa echoes, and he sounds genuinely shocked. ‘So it’s true? You do like someone now? Iwa-chan, why didn’t you-‘

‘I don’t like anyone!’ Hajime vehemently denies, because asshole or not, he isn’t cruel enough to screw things up for his future self by admitting he has a crush on Oikawa now, because that means he’ll be screwing things up for himself later. Seventeen-year-old Hajime and Oikawa may not remember this appointment, but when they turn twenty-seven years old and have to inevitably do this again- because time travel is a cycle- the truth will come spilling out again and Oikawa will find out Hajime’s been in love with him for ten years.

But Oikawa isn’t so easily deterred. ‘You’re engaged!’ he points out, and it would be reasonable if he didn’t sound half-frenzied. ‘How can you not like anyone?’

‘I-‘ Hajime falters. He has no explanation to that. ‘I don’t know!’ He turns to Future Hajime desperately. ‘Who am I engaged to?’

Future Hajime looks at Future Oikawa. ‘I actually feel kind of bad,’ he admits. ‘I feel like I’m just being cruel at this point, drawing this out.’

‘You can’t feel bad for us,’ Future Oikawa points out. ‘We know exactly what we’re feeling.’

‘That’s exactly why I feel bad for them,’ Future Hajime responds. ‘I know I would just want to go to bed right now.’

‘I do want to go to bed right now,’ Hajime mumbles.

‘Anyway, my dear Hajime-chan, it took you long enough to ask,’ says Future Oikawa, rolling his eyes.

‘Hajime-chan?!’ Hajime recoils, not even bothering to hide his disgust. Beside him, Oikawa startles.

‘Well, I can’t very well call you Iwa-chan,’ Future Oikawa points out. ‘I already call my Iwa-chan that. I need another nickname for Iwa-chan’s kid self so I don’t mix the two of you up.’

‘I’m not a kid,’ Hajime grumbles, ignoring the way he shivers at the words my Iwa-chan being said by an older, deeper version of Oikawa’s voice. Even if he isn’t the Iwa-chan Oikawa is referring to in question.

‘So what should I call your kid self?’ Future Hajime asks Future Oikawa. ‘Oikawa? It sounds weird, going back to calling you that.’

‘Huh?’ Oikawa asks. ‘What do you mean? What do you call me now? I mean- my future self.’

‘Oh. I just call you Tooru,’ Future Hajime says easily, like he’s used to the name slipping off his lips.

Oikawa flushes a bright red. ‘What?’ he squeaks.

‘I mean,’ Future Hajime begins, wearing the same grin Hajime himself recognizes he wears whenever he’s about to tease the shit out of Oikawa, ‘we are engaged.’ He puts a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder. ‘It would be kind of weird to call you by your last name.’

Wait. What?

Every muscle in Hajime’s body instantly locks up. No, this can’t be- but as the words sink through his mind, he finally allows himself to hope, to think that maybe, just maybe he has a chance, until his eyes fall on Future Oikawa’s empty fingers yet again and his chest deflates, but wait- empty fingers that are currently reaching into his shirt and pulling out a silver chain-

‘No jewellery on the court,’ Future Oikawa explains, with the widest grin Hajime’s ever seen as he holds his necklace up to the fluorescent light of the room, showing off the gold ring looped through the chain. ‘So I keep my ring on a chain.’

Oikawa looks like he’s about to combust. His eyes keep darting to Future Hajime’s hand on his shoulder. ‘I- um- I-‘ he stammers nervously, face turning an interesting shade of pink. Future Hajime, seemingly oblivious that he’s the one responsible for causing Oikawa’s blushing, stammering state, just offers a smile that he probably thinks is meant to be reassuring but just makes Oikawa turn even redder.

‘Don’t break me,’ Future Oikawa scolds lightly, pulling Future Hajime away from Oikawa, who looks dizzy. ‘I barely stood a chance while you were still in high school.’

‘You what?’ Hajime demands, finally finding his voice. He turns to his Oikawa. ‘You like me?’

‘Don’t give me that!’ Oikawa snaps, but he’s blushing. ‘You like me!’

‘You wish!’ Hajime retorts mostly out of reflex.

‘You- you’re unbelievable!’ Oikawa half-screeches, looking ready to tear his hair out. ‘You liked me enough to get engaged to me, so there!’ He snatches the chain on Future Oikawa’s neck and holds it up. ‘See!’

Hajime feels like his head is spinning. ‘I can’t believe you like me,’ he repeats, just because the words taste like honey on his tongue- Oikawa, the boy he’s known since before he could talk, whose hands always fit snugly into Hajime’s own like puzzle pieces slotting into place, whose eyes sparkled when he was excited, who turned his face into Hajime’s shoulder whenever he was trying to hide a smile and Hajime could feel the outline of his lips curve upwards against the fabric of his t-shirt, liked him back.

Oikawa, the boy that Hajime’s been saying I love you to in a million different ways before he was ever taught the words, likes him back. Loves him back.

Enough to propose to him. Or accept his proposal. Whatever.

Oikawa turns red and buries his face in his hands. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t know I liked you,’ he groans. ‘I told Makki and Mattsun and everything.’

Hajime’s jaw drops. ‘No fucking way,’ he says. ‘I also told Makki and Mattsun I liked you.’

They stare at each other. ‘I’m going to kill them,’ Oikawa says finally.

‘They’re not that bad,’ Future Oikawa grudgingly admits. ‘They’re helping to organize the wedding next year.’ He snickers. ‘And we’ve invited Tobio-chan and Ushiwaka to be the flower girls.’

Oikawa turns to stare at his future self in amazement. ‘We totally thought of that, didn’t we,’ he says.

‘Who else would come up with such brilliant ideas except us?’ Future Oikawa says grandly, spreading out his arms.

Oikawa looks disturbingly delighted. ‘Not that I didn’t expect this, but now I have proof I’m even hotter and smarter in the future,’ he comments, before turning to Hajime. ‘Iwa-chan, you’re so lucky!’

Hajime exchanges a look with his future self, a look that can only be understood by the people that have put up with varying stages of Oikawa Tooru all throughout his life. ‘Great,’ says Hajime sarcastically under his breath. ‘There are two of them.’

‘Wait a moment,’ says Oikawa suddenly, gesturing to Future Hajime, and Hajime thinks he’s trying to make angry eye contact but his eyes keep flitting away in a panic. ‘You knew! You knew I liked you just now! You were just toying with me!’

‘I mean, of course I knew,’ Future Hajime grins. ‘Tooru told me he’s had a crush on me since middle school. I knew his younger self would go crazy if I mentioned marriage. Consider it payback.’

Oikawa makes an indignant squeaking sound, while Hajime feels like his soul has left his body. ‘Middle school?’ he demands, strangled.

Oikawa, suddenly remembering his Hajime is here to witness all this go down, turns the most vibrant shade of red Hajime has ever seen a person be. ‘Oh my God,’ he squeaks, covering his face with his hands before sinking to his knees. ‘Wait, this is so embarrassing, can we just forget that right now-‘

‘No!’ Hajime shoots back, dizzy on some sort of adrenaline high. ‘Oikawa, what the fuck? You’ve liked me since middle school?’

‘No,’ Oikawa denies instantly.

Hajime squints.

‘Okay, fine, maybe a little bit!’ Oikawa huffs.

Hajime nods, prepared to leave it at that, because this situation is already awkward enough and he still has a lot of questions for his future self that don’t concern his unexpectedly busy romantic life, but this seems to trigger a knee-jerk defensive reaction in Oikawa. ‘I mean,’ Oikawa stutters, ‘it’s not like I was in love with you or anything, it was just middle school and it didn’t really mean anything at the time, I just was figuring stuff out and you were there and-‘

‘Okay, I get it!’ Hajime says, holding up his hands. ‘Geez, it’s not like you have to be embarrassed or anything. We’re literally engaged, it’s not like I don’t feel the same way.’ He swallows the butterflies that erupt in his stomach at those words, but keeps a poker face so Oikawa will never know. He can’t let Oikawa know how long he’s wanted this, otherwise he’ll be insufferable. Right now Hajime has the high ground, and there’s no way in hell he’s giving that up. ‘Can we move on?’

Oikawa blinks and coughs awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. ‘Of course, yeah- yeah, uh, yeah, let’s move on.’

He fixes his future self with a look. ‘So. Argentina.’

‘What about it?’ Future Oikawa shrugs.

‘You- you know exactly what about it!’ Oikawa says incredulously. ‘I can’t believe I have to-‘

Future Oikawa breaks his composure, and his face stretches into a wide smile. ‘Yeah. Argentina.’

Those two simple words hit the occupants of the room like a truck. Paired with the easy admittance and the genuine smile on Future Oikawa’s face that signals how easily happiness comes to him nowadays, Hajime bites his lip in a valiant effort not to cry, because he is looking at the face of someone who is confident he has made the right choice and never regretted it, not for a second, not for a breath.

Oikawa’s eyes widen, and he presses his lips tightly together in that face Hajime knows he always makes when he’s trying desperately not to cry. His shoulders start to hunch over and shake, and Future Oikawa looks incredibly sympathetic. ‘Come here, it’s okay,’ he beckons, opening his unfairly toned arms, and Oikawa falls into them like he has no choice and buries his trembling face into his future self’s shoulder, body wracking with silent sobs of relief like a huge burden has been lifted from his shoulders. Hajime almost doesn’t want Oikawa to forget this conversation, because after their memories are wiped, he knows Oikawa will go back to worrying himself sick about whether he’ll ever make it in Argentina and if he’s just ruined his entire career for himself. He hopes that the emotions that will linger from this conversation will be enough to convince Oikawa to go and chase his dreams and never look back.

But right now, he also has his own questions. Hajime turns to his future self, who is looking at the two Oikawas embracing with a helplessly fond look on his face- and, okay, gross, does he really look like that whenever he stares at Oikawa- and says, in imitation of Oikawa, ‘So. California?’

Future Hajime turns to him, and the surreality of the situation they’re in finally sinks in when Hajime sees the own familiar glint in his eye reflected right back at him. ‘Yeah. Then back to Japan. Just like we planned,’ he confirms, and Hajime has fewer qualms about going to California so he doesn’t get all teary-eyed like Oikawa did but it’s still a huge weight off his shoulders to hear that he does and he makes it and it all turns out okay.

‘Okay,’ says Hajime, taking a deep breath. ‘Okay. So it all turns out okay in the end?’

Future Hajime grins and nods to Future Oikawa. ‘Hey, Tooru, you wanna tell them what we were just doing just now?’

Future Oikawa grins, and lets go of his younger self. ‘Ask Hajime-chan to guess!’

‘No,’ both Hajime and his future self respond, because Oikawa knows he hates guessing games with a vehemence. They exchange eye contact, silently agreeing to team up against all versions of Oikawa Tooru and his numerous crimes against one Iwaizumi Hajime, examples being: extortion (Oikawa blackmailing Hajime into giving him his wallet to buy milk bread by threatening to post his baby pictures to the Seijoh group chat), assault and battery (Oikawa hitting Hajime in the head countless times with his stupid fucking serve), and for severely reducing Hajime’s lifespan (raising his blood pressure through the roof every single day). As they nod to each other in a silent and solemn show of solidarity, Hajime feels like he’s never been more understood in his life.

Future Oikawa pouts. ‘You guys are no fun. We just got engaged and you still won’t even let me tease you!’

Oikawa chokes. ‘What do you mean, we just got engaged?’

Future Oikawa smirks. ‘Before we got rudely interrupted, a lovely reporter on the sidelines was just interviewing me on how I felt when I was proposing to Iwa-chan right after Argentina won gold at the Olympics.’

The room is silent for a beat. Then it erupts into screams.

Hajime has never known he could sound so high-pitched before, but he doesn’t even have time to feel particularly embarrassed as he and Oikawa shake Future Oikawa’s collar, screaming incoherently.

‘Holy fucking shit-‘ Hajime shrieks, because it’s the only thing he can think of saying, the only thing his mind can formulate as a response when he’s half-crazed and elated and drunk on dizzy happiness.

‘You won gold?!’ Oikawa demands. ‘I mean, we won gold?! Are you fucking serious, oh my God, I swear to fucking God if this is just a joke I’m going to-‘

‘Not a joke,’ Future Hajime smiles. ‘I was there watching from the sidelines. As Japan’s athletic trainer.’

Oikawa and Hajime turn to watch him, mouths falling open in synchronization. Hajime’s heart has never felt so light, and the room erupts into bigger screams yet again, but this time directed at Future Hajime, who accepts the attention with a sheepish smile.

‘Oh my God,’ Oikawa repeats, voice sounding wobbly like he’s trying valiantly not to cry.

‘Holy fuck,’ Hajime says, looking at his future self and then Future Oikawa because this is everything he’s ever dreamed of right at his fingertips, and he knows how much work he’ll have to put in to get to where his future self is standing right now, but armed with the knowledge that everything will work out, that everything will be okay, that he’ll be twenty-seven-years-old and life will only get better as he gets older, he feels like he can conquer the world.

This past year, he’s been trying to hold on so hard to his childhood, his last year of being a child, the age seventeen being romanticized so much in media that he feels like he needs to do something more with his life instead of just study and go to practice and sleep and repeat, that he’s forgotten to look forward to what the future will bring him. Hajime thinks he finally understands why the government encourages people to visit their future selves, and let the emotions stay with them, because right here, right now- Hajime has never felt more content. And he knows that next year and the year after that he’ll be able to say that over and over again, because life will get better and he will become more content and happier and go on to achieve greater things, and that high school isn’t going to be the greatest three years of his life like all the media seems to say.

‘I’m so happy,’ Oikawa chokes out, furiously swiping at his tears, and Hajime opens his mouth to say something but tastes saltiness at the tip of his tongue and realizes he’s crying too. ‘Fuck. I’m so happy.’

Hajime’s laugh is watery as he collapses into Oikawa. ‘Me too,’ he whispers. ‘I’m so glad everything will be okay.’

‘More than okay,’ Oikawa laughs, voice trembly, as he thumps Hajime!s back. ‘You call me proposing to you after I just won gold at the fucking Olympics just ‘okay’?’

‘Fair,’ Hajime agrees, burying his face into Oikawa’s shoulder. ‘I’m glad things will turn out amazing.’ He squeezes Oikawa tighter, and it’s like he has all the happiness he needs gathered right in his arms.

‘Oh, come on, you’re going to make me cry,’ Future Oikawa complains, but he’s smiling. Hajime and Oikawa break apart, grinning at each other.

‘As if you didn’t just sob your heart out on national television,’ scoffs Future Hajime, but Hajime notices his eyes are suspiciously red-rimmed even though he hasn’t been crying for the duration of time they’ve been in the room and wonders whether his future self is being a hypocrite.

‘So did you!’ Future Oikawa squawks indignantly. ‘I couldn’t even get to ‘Hajime, you’re the love of my life,’ before you broke out in tears!’

‘Oh, shut up,’ Future Hajime retorts, but he’s blushing. Oikawa looks delighted.

‘Oh! It looks like time’s almost up,’ Future Oikawa exclaims, breaking the light atmosphere as he nods to the clock in the room that shows there’s only a few more seconds before ten minutes is up. ‘Anything left you wanna ask?’

Hajime is prepared to say they’re good before Oikawa coughs. ‘Um, actually I wanted to ask- does Iwa-chan ever get any piercings?’

Both Hajimes turn to stare at him. Oikawa flushes under the attention. ‘I just think piercings would be kind of hot,’ he mumbles lamely, fiddling with his hands.

‘Really?’ Hajime exclaims at the same time Future Oikawa grins and says, ‘Iwa-chan, show them.’

Future Hajime lifts up his t-shirt to reveal nothing but shockingly defined abs. Hajime wonders where the piercing is supposed to be, and turns to Oikawa to exchange a confused look, except Oikawa’s eyes are glued to his future self’s stomach like he is literally incapable of looking away.

Hajime resolves to ignore that. ‘Uh, where’s the piercing?’

Oikawa snaps to attention. ‘Right. Yes,’ he stammers. ‘The piercing.’

Future Hajime points to the middle of his stomach. ‘I got a belly button when I was in California, but I took the ring out,’ he explains. At Hajime’s incredulous look, he elaborates further, sounding guilty. ‘My roommate made me get it while I was drunk off my ass.’

‘No,’ Hajime whispers, horrified.

‘Yes,’ Future Oikawa says gleefully.

‘It doesn’t even really show, anyway,’ Future Hajime shrugs.

‘But-‘ Hajime splutters. ‘But-‘

All of a sudden, Future Oikawa and Hajime look like they’re fading away. ‘Oh, no,’ Future Oikawa says, genuinely dismayed. ‘This was so fun, I don’t want to go so soon-‘

‘They’ll see us again,’ Future Hajime reminds him. ‘Well, they’ll be us. And then it’ll be your turn to travel back in time to see your past selves.’

‘Wait, I still want to know about that belly button piercing-‘ Hajime tries, reaching his hand out as if by simply grasping onto them he can physically stop their future selves from leaving, but the effort is futile and he watches them fade away completely.

Suddenly, Hajime feels light-headed. He clutches at his forehead, trying to remember what just went down in the last ten minutes, but he finds he can’t keep ahold of any of it. Oikawa is beside him, similarly grasping at his hair as if he can literally hold onto the memories if he tries hard enough.

They are escorted out of the room by Shimizu, who gives them an understanding smile, and it’s only when they’re standing outside the building, having collected their belongings that were confiscated from them, that they feel like they’ve recovered enough to speak.

‘Do you remember- anything?’ Oikawa asks urgently. ‘Any of it?’

Hajime shakes his hand, but he can’t find it in himself to be disappointed. ‘I just feel- really relieved. And happy. What about you?’

Oikawa smiles helplessly, and it’s like the sun. ‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘I don’t know if I’ll jinx myself by saying this, but Iwa-chan- I think I’m going to make it in Argentina.’

‘I’m glad,’ Hajime says gently. ‘I think- me too. This is weird, actually.’ He laughs. ‘Um. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my life, and I can’t even remember what I’m happy about.’

Oikawa looks at him intently. ‘Me too. So I have a hunch what we found out in the meeting. Can I share it with you?’

Hajime averts his eyes, feeling like he’s pinned under Oikawa’s intense gaze. ‘Sure.’

And Oikawa surges forward to kiss him.

Hajime feels like his brain is melting, for a moment, because all he’s able to think is what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck , staying still as a statue trying to process what’s going on, and he sees Oikawa pull back with a horrified look on his face and an apology on his lips, but Hajime doesn’t have time for misunderstandings or angst so he immediately pulls Oikawa back into the kiss and deepens it, trying to communicate just how vastly he loves his best friend through the tight grip of his hands on Oikawa’s shoulders and his mouth on Oikawa’s own and the way they’re both smiling into the kiss because God, he’s never wanted anything more than he’s wanted this.

When they pull back, they’re both grinning. ‘So you heard me say I’ve never felt so happy in my life, and you automatically assumed my future self must’ve confessed my undying love for you in that room?’ Hajime jokes breathlessly. ‘That’s a bit narcissistic of you, don’t you think?’

‘Don’t be silly, Iwa-chan,’ Oikawa grins, and his hair is tousled and his cheeks are red and his smile makes Hajime’s stomach do somersaults. ‘I’ve never felt happier, so I thought, what could possibly make me feel like this ? And the only answer was you. You belong with me, Iwa-chan.’

‘You’re so corny,’ Hajime mutters, blushing furiously.

‘You love it,’ Oikawa teases.

‘I do,’ Hajime admits. Then his eyes widen. ‘Oh, Makki and Mattsun are going to be so insufferable about this.’

‘You told them?’ Oikawa demands.

‘It wasn’t like I could tell you!’ Hajime says defensively.

‘No, no, I’m not jealous or anything, but like-‘ Oikawa looks like he’s done with everything in life. ‘I told them too!’

‘Oh my God,’ they say simultaneously.

‘Somehow I feel like we already discovered this in the room,’ Hajime muses. ‘I don’t remember anything, but I feel a weird anger towards them.’

Oikawa nods. ‘Must be them,’ he says decisively. ‘You know what? This is unacceptable. They knew and they did nothing except laugh at us! Didn’t even lock us in a closet or anything!’

‘Aim your serves at their heads,’ Hajime suggests.

Oikawa hums. ‘Excellent idea. But you know...’ he begins. ‘If we ever do get married, I think we should make them plan it. We’ll, like, guilt trip them and hold it over their heads that they knew for years and didn’t say anything so that they can’t get out of it.’

‘You want to get married just out of spite to make Makki and Mattsun plan our wedding?’ Hajime asks, raising an eyebrow.

‘No!’ Oikawa says immediately. ‘I mean, I love you-‘ His voice cracks a little at the words, and Hajime mercifully doesn’t comment. ‘But like, is it really so bad that a part of me wants to do that?’

‘Absolutely not,’ Hajime says instantly. ‘That’s an excellent idea. They deserve it.’

Oikawa’s face lights up. ‘I knew I could count on you, Iwa-chan!’ he exclaims, before linking their arms together. ‘Let’s go home?’

‘Yeah,’ Hajime nods, smiling helplessly.

‘Oh, but one more thing,’ Oikawa says as they near their respective homes. ‘How do you feel about piercings?’

‘I wouldn’t be caught dead,’ Hajime retorts immediately.

‘Okay, okay,’ Oikawa laughs. ‘Point taken.’

-

Iwaizumi Hajime, twenty-seven-years-old with a job he loves, a new fiancé and a piercing he strangely doesn’t regret all that much, proudly watches a sweaty Tooru being interviewed on the sidelines by a pretty reporter who oohs and ahs over the shiny gold ring tied around Tooru’s neck and asks him about the shiny gold medal he’s about to receive. That’s when he feels it.

It’s a pull in his gut, first. He makes eye contact with Tooru, and they share a look, before he sees himself fade away.

The next thing he knows, he’s in a room looking at their kid selves from ten years ago.

‘Oh my God,’ says Tooru. ‘It’s happening!’

Hajime smiles. Yeah. It’s happening.