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“Have I ever told you your ass is super fine?”
Peter was caught off-guard by the abrupt direction shift in the conversation. But, ever able to land on his feet, he delivered a sarcastic: “No. Never. I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned it.”
“It truly is,” Wade paused for something Peter could only interpret as dramatic effect, “the finest ass in the Marvel Universe. I know. I keep an extensive ranking list.”
“Who’s second?”
“Daredevil, actually.”
Peter gave it some consideration, pursing his lips. He conceded with a small nod.
“The pyjama boys get an unfair advantage. And there might be some color psychology at play,” Wade said, clearly having given this topic a significant amount of thought. “Red makes you hungry, you know. It’s science.”
“I love science,” said Peter, dumbly.
“Have I really not told you how much I love your ass? Because that seems like an incredible misdeed on my part.”
“You used to never shut up about it on patrol”, Peter replied. He hooked one of his fingers around one of Wade’s belt-loops, fiddling. “I don’t know if you knew I could hear you. I had half a mind to start up a harassment case. You’re lucky I’ve got such a good sense of humour.”
“I’ve got enough outstanding court cases against me as it is, so, much appreciated.”
“…You’ve kind of shut up about it recently, though - present moment in exception.” Peter admitted after a small pause. “My ass just not do it for you anymore?”
“Oh, I have an extensive list of things I’d like to do to dat ass .” Wade emphasised, giving one of Peter’s cheeks a firm squeeze.
Peter groaned. Mostly to do with Wade’s appalling use of words, but also partly his body’s reaction to this new kind of attention.
“I’ll bite”, said Peter, “Why haven’t you started working your way down that list?”
Peter was mildly disappointed when Wade’s hand ceased it’s exploration.
“Well, you’re a newly christened bisexual, and,” Wade said, “I didn’t… want to rush you into anything that might, y’know. Weird you out. I know all about your fragile masculinity.”
“That’s not –“ Peter sounded insulted, “That’s not. Entirely true.”
Wade raised an eyebrow at Peter. Or he would’ve, if he had eyebrows.
“Besides, I’m not entirely new to this either.”
Both of Wade’s eyebrows raised.
“…You mean butt-stuff?”
Peter sighed.
“Your eloquence never ceases to amaze,” he said dryly. “Yes. I mean butt-stuff.”
“But Peter, I’m the first dude on your ever-rotating roster of fuck-buddies! Which means…”
Wade’s facial expression was wide-eyed and adorable before he started piecing things together. Then his face twisted into something so smug and so knowing, that Peter felt embarrassed before Wade had even opened his mouth.
“Black cat?” Wade said, cloyingly, “…It was Black Cat, wasn’t it?”
Peter buried his face in Wade’s legs, and grunted.
Wade’s hands resumed a gentle massage at Peter’s lower back.
“You know, I kind of had her pegged as that kind of gal.”
“Har har.”
“Oh, this is going to give me so much fantasy fodder.” Wade closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He overplayed a delighted “Mmm-mmm”, like he’d been fed the most delicious fucking food he’d ever had.
“I’m glad you’re having fun.”
“Oh, I really, truly am.” Wade savoured it just a minute more, before he turned down to look at Peter. “Did you have fun, though? How did you like it? Details, details!”
“It was”, Peter considered his words, as though the fact that he was half-hard in his pyjama pants wasn’t giveaway enough, “It was… fine. It, uh, wasn’t something I wanted to do again, though.”
Peter turned to lay on his back, head resting on Wade’s lap. Wade’s hands took the new position as an invitation to explore Peter’s stomach, running over washboard abs.
“Why not?” Wade addressed Peter, quiet and sincere.
Peter opened his mouth, but didn’t have an answer immediately. He flushed, feeling bare under Wade’s gaze.
“Probably s’mthin’ t’do w’th mh fr’gile m’scul’nity…” Peter mumbled at last, completely embarrassed.
“Peter Parker.” Wade spoke up, gravely. “I’ll have you know I have been pegged by every single girl I’ve dated. It’s a courtesy. All good boys deserve it.”
“Mm.” The information didn’t come as a surprise to Peter. He knew exactly how much Wade loved it. He’d participated in it. That didn’t stop the imagery from flooding Peter’s already flustered brain. “And is that what you are? A good boy?” Peter teased, a hand running up Wade’s thigh.
“Peter Parker.” Wade repeated in earnest, “I think you can acknowledge that lately, I have been a very, very good boy.”
“And a good boy deserves a reward?”
“Are you gonna give a dog a bone?”
Peter snorted.
“If that’s what he wants,” Peter said, stretching out. “Otherwise, he wins this fine ass for the evening.”
There was a beat of silence, and Peter could swear he could hear the fizzle and pop of Wade’s brain short-circuiting.
“Wade?”
No response.
“Wade? Oh, god, did I break you?”
Wade abruptly shook his head, “Sorry – went off-world for a second there.” He used a pinky finger, overplaying the act of cleaning his ear. “Could you say that again, sweetheart?”
Peter opened his mouth. Then closed it.
He opted to simplify, this time.
“I said either I can fuck you, or you can fuck me”, Peter put plainly. “Choose wisely.”
A whine escaped Wade’s throat. “Those are both,” he croaked, “ fantastic options.”
“So, did you guys like, do it in full-costume?”
“Wade.”
“Masks and everything? Just, for the mental scrapbook, y’know.”
“Could we focus on the matter at hand here?”
Wade tutted, ridding Peter of his shirt. His hands slid up Peter’s stomach, before toying with Peter’s nipples, rolling them between his fingers.
“Fine. But you’re going to spill , mister.”
Peter shuddered, a feeling of bashfulness and arousal searing through his stomach in a weird cocktail.
“And you’ll spare no dirty... ” Wade leant in, lips brushing against Peter’s cheek. His voice was dark, deep and threatening. “... dirty detail...”
Wade’s fingers pinched and Peter whined, rolling his head back against the pillow.
“Y-yessir.” Peter mumbled, completely at Wade’s mercy.
“So. Uh. Before we… get down to business …”
Peter registered an uncertainty to Wade’s tone of voice that didn’t typically accompany him to the bedroom.
Wade was nervous.
“How do you… want it? Would you prefer to, you know”, Wade cleared his throat, “ take the reins, so-to-speak? I can be your pony.”
“Well, I, uh.” Peter looked down at Wade’s offending member. He bit his lip. “I think I’d, uh. I’d like it better if you, um. Walked me through it a little more.”
“That’s groovy”, Wade said simply, and Peter snorted for no real reason. Nerves.
Wade’s thumbs were gently digging into Peter’s hip bones, before they slipped downwards to free Peter’s erection.
Wade took Peter in his hand, slowly bringing him up to fullness. It was gentle and directionless, mostly to keep Peter in the mood. Wade didn’t want Peter’s brain working too hard.
“You have a position in mind, baby boy? Any preference?”
Peter sank into Wade’s touch, looking up at him bashfully. “I-I… um.”
Wade’s thumb twirled over Peter’s cockhead and Peter sighed, burying his face in his shoulder.
“...from behind?” Peter said at last.
Wade hummed his approval.
“Bet it’s because y’don’t wanna feel like a girl,” Wade teased.
“Shut up, Wade.”
Wade hoisted Peter up by his hips, shucking Peter’s trousers off of him. Peter then plopped back onto the bed with a bounce, totally bare.
“Thoughts on rimming?”
Peter practically choked.
“...she was in full-costume”, Peter continued, head buried in the pillow. “All the gear. The tight leather, the … Hah!”
“Ooh, we’re getting somewhere now”, Wade said, curling his fingers into Peter, “...that feel good?”
Peter shivered, hips desperately rocking.
“That feels good. That feels so good”, Peter croaked. His hands were gripping at the pillow, almost enough to tear it in half.
“Mm. I think you’re ready, baby,” Wade cooed, slipping his fingers out of Peter. Peter’s thighs twitched, and Peter bemoaned the absence of something filling him up.
Peter propped himself up on the headboard, hands gripping it firm. He watched as Wade gave himself a few pumps, slicking himself up.
Peter swallowed.
Wade’s attention turned to Peter, gaze soft.
“H-hey...” Wade said, and it was a tone of voice Peter hardly ever heard coming from the man. So, so gentle. “...if you don’t want to do this, we can –”
“I want this.” Peter said sharply. “I want you inside me.”
Peter couldn’t believe those words just spilled from his mouth.
“Oh god.” Peter conked his head on the wall, red-faced. “I just said those words.”
He just said those words.
He just said those words.
Wade was slack-jawed for a little while, taking it in. His brain was entirely fried.
Someone, please pinch us.
At last, Wade groaned. He sounded like someone had just punched the wind out of him.
“A+ comeback”, Peter said, pulling out the snark to hide how quickly his heart was hammering in his chest. “I just gave you material for weeks. Don’t let it go to waste.”
“You know me down to my core, Pete,” Wade said in jest, but there was a bare sincerity that came out with his words that Wade couldn’t account for.
For a moment Wade was silent.
Peter reached back with his hand, gripping Wade by one of his arms. He sat upright on his knees, pulling Wade so his chest was flush against Peter’s back.
Then Peter was kissing him.
The angle was awkward, and it hurt Peter’s neck a little, but it was nice.
It was nice the way their tongues met, and the way Peter bit at Wade’s lower lip.
It was nice the way Wade’s tender hands slipped down Peter’s torso, appreciating his sculpted curves and angles.
It was nice the way Wade took Peter in his hand again, making him part the kiss with a moan.
It was especially nice the way Peter guided Wade’s hands to his ass, returning back to his position on all fours.
“Better show this ass a little appreciation. It’s Marvel’s finest, after all.” Peter said, glancing back.
Wade moaned.
“Cocky suits you, baby boy.”
“Your cock would suit me.”
Wade stared at Peter.
Peter stared at Wade.
Oh god. Peter thought. What the fuck, Pete?
Wade burst out laughing, completely entirely off-guard.
Peter felt like his heart was threatening to leap out of throat and strangle him. And he laughed. He laughed until he had tears in his eyes.
“I killed it, didn’t I? I killed your boner.” Peter wallowed. “No bouncing back from this one. Don’t even think your healing factor could deal with...”
“I love you.” Wade blurted. He heaved, and there were tears staining his eyes. “I love you, you stupid fucking idiot.”
Peter looked at Wade. In total disbelief.
Uh-oh.
Big uh-oh. Gargantuan uh-oh.
Peter threw himself up at Wade, arms hooking around his shoulders. He kissed him. He kissed him, hands framing Wade’s face. Wade melted into it, breathing Peter in. He needed him. He needed him like he needed oxygen.
Peter hooked his legs around Wade’s hips, arms all over Wade’s back, pulling him close, wanting him closer .
“I need you,” Peter whispered against Wade’s mouth, “inside me. Right now.”
Wade could only breathe out, shakily. His hands fumbled at Peter’s hips, like a teenager struggling to decipher a girl’s bra straps.
Peter guided them both to the bed, his back against the sheets. Wade’s face was buried in the crook of Peter’s neck as Peter spread underneath him. Tentative hands at Peter’s hips as Wade positioned himself, and pressed inside Peter.
Tight. Tight and warm. Wade was slow, and Peter was adjusting. Wade pressed a kiss to Peter’s neck, and he could feel Peter’s heartbeat.
“Okay?”
“Y-yeah,” Peter reassured. “Yeah, keep going.”
Before Wade pushed in all the way he tried a few slow, shallow thrusts, gauging Peter’s reaction.
He received a few sharp breaths in response, and Peter’s arms pulling Wade closer.
“It doesn’t hurt, does it?”
Peter chuckled, breathlessly. “...D-don’t flatter yourself.” He planted a kiss on Wade’s forehead. Then he titled Wade’s head upwards to meet his lips.
Some of the nerves ebbed away in the kiss, Peter’s legs tightening around Wade’s hips to drive him in deeper. Peter rocked, shifting his hips every now and again in scientific pursuit.
“Faster?” Wade probed.
Hehe. Probed.
“Please.”
Wade obliged, and Peter responded with more vocal appreciation, back arching against the bed. This was nice.
The two were uncharacteristically quiet. Wade was searching for what Peter liked, and Peter rewarded his efforts with soft kisses against his skin.
A gasp ripped out of Peter with one particular thrust, and Wade froze.
“What are you – Wade, god, keep going.” Peter rocked his hips, needily. “Right there.”
Wade’s hips picked up the pace, and Peter was throwing his head back. For a while the room filled with satisfied gasps and winces.
“Are you feeling it now, Mr Krabs?”
“I will hit you.”
Content that Peter was enjoying this as much as he was, Wade drove in deeper, and Peter bounced . A sharp moan ripped out of him.
That’s the stuff.
“Too much?”
“Not enough.” Peter’s face lolled on the pillow, raising his hips. “Keep doing that.”
“Okay, boss.” Wade said, insufferably, and he kept at it, driving deeper into Peter, until he bottomed out entirely.
Peter bounced against him, hands hooked around Wade’s neck. Wade dove in for another kiss, and Peter moaned eagerly into it.
“Missionary ain’t so bad, is it?” Wade chuckled against Peter’s neck.
“Hah – you’re a freak”, Peter responded, “ Way too kinky for me.”
“A freak like me needs com-pan-yy~, ” Wade sang into Peter’s ear, and Peter felt like he was going to die.
“Do not ever. Ever. Quote the Spider-man musical in my presence ever aga – ngh! ”
“How’s this?”
Peter’s hands fell to the bed, gripping the bed sheets, his breath was ragged, and dick was aching as it bounced against his stomach.
“Fff–” Peter’s voice was strangled, “ –fuck, yes.”
Wade’s hands snaked between the two of them to give Peter’s cock the attention it deserved, and Peter moaned.
That moan was swallowed by Wade’s lips, sliding against Peter’s in perfect harmony.
Peter’s hand joined Wade’s over his arousal, and sharp whines escaped Peter’s throat as he inched closer to the edge.
“Ngh – I love you too”, Peter muttered fast, between breaths. “I love you. ” He repeated. “I –”
Peter spilled over both of their hands, trembling.
Wade kissed Peter before Peter could even catch his breath, driving into him one last time. The feeling of Peter’s body tightening and fluttering around him. Peter’s words, spinning inside Wade’s head. It sent him over, buried deep inside Peter.
The sensation was alien to Peter. He let out a long, shuddering breath, closing his eyes.
Wade collapsed atop of Peter, a mess of sweat and heavy breathing.
Suddenly, Wade was apprehensive.
“Sorry, I –” Wade looked down at Peter, wide-eyed, “I didn’t ask if I –”
“It’s fine.” Peter responded, throat dry. “It’s more than fine, Wade. I – I… I love this.”
Wade looked at Peter, at a complete loss. Peter’s legs were still locked around Wade’s hips. Wade shifted, but clearly, he wasn’t going anywhere .
Wade cursed, burying his face in Peter’s chest.
“This a spider-thing? Like how the mommy spider eats the daddy spider after mating? If so I resent your prior assertion about me being the freak here.”
Peter snorted, kissing Wade’s forehead.
They stayed like that for a minute, foreheads knocked together, re-orienting themselves. Before Peter eventually let Wade slip out, and he lay at Peter’s side.
Peter linked their hands together.
There was a comfortable silence between the two.
Until Wade decided to ruin it.
“So… that good, huh?”
“You don’t need anymore praise.” Peter said dryly. “Your swollen ego barely fits in this bed as it is. ...But yeah. It was good.”
Wade grinned at Peter, unbearably.
“Really good.”
"Glowing reviews. I'll be adding your testimonial to my webpage, a'thank you."
“What about my ass, though, huh?” Peter snarked, “Stand up to scrutiny?”
“Mmm. Tried and tested." Wade chuckled, "Deadpool seal of approval. Truly, Marvel's finest.”