Chapter Text
When people talk about the Rebellion, and War in Heaven, and the Fall, they usually make it look like something awful. Something that involved lots of blood, sharp objects, fire and other unpleasant things. That is because they are people. It’s the part of their, inherently human, nature — to think that some events that defined history might’ve been something grand when they happened.
In reality, the archangel Gabriel came up to Lucifer, who was, at a time, the Captain of the Heavenly Host, and said, You are fired.
And Lucifer said, What?
And archangel Gabriel gave him the papers and repeated what he said and told him that he would be paid for his remaining sick days.
And Lucifer said, But I don’t have any remaining sick days. I don’t have any sick days.
And archangel Gabriel said, Exactly. By the way, about that money I owe you—
It made Lucifer, who no longer was the Captain of the Heavenly Host, quite angry, so he went around and started talking about the benefits of creating a workers’ union.
And then his Father, who art in Heaven, said, Listen, son, I don’t have time for this; here’s your new job, so go away and stop bothering these people.
What happened next would be later called the Fall [With uppercase ‘F’.], but in reality the only person who fell [With lowercase ‘f’.] was an angel who was walking down the stairs and slipped on someone’s spilled drink. [He would later call it ‘sauntering vaguely downwards’, in a feeble attempt to look somewhat cool.]
It didn’t stop Lucifer from developing certain issues, but this is a story for another time.