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Wei Ying and Wen Ning are best friends.
Lan Zhan has known this for years. Nearly as long as he’s known Wei Ying, as a matter of fact. Wei Ying introduced them just three days after he met Wei Ying. Lan Zhan thinks he would be better friends with Wen Ning, except for the shameful fact that he sees Wen Ning as a threat to his nonexistent chances. He’s well aware that he’s made no attempt to ask Wei Ying on a date. He confirmed more than a year ago that Wei Ying is bisexual, and has done absolutely nothing since then. Wen Ning does not deserve Lan Zhan’s cold shoulder just because Lan Zhan can’t work up the courage to ask Wei Ying out. That does not, however, stop Lan Zhan.
That also doesn’t explain how Lan Zhan ended up on a date.
“I, uh, I’m sorry about this,” Wen Ning says awkwardly. “I didn’t know?”
Though to be fair, Wen Ning doesn’t seem to understand how Lan Zhan ended up on a date either.
Wen Ning fiddles with the white tablecloth and stares at some presumably interesting spot of the floor. He’s already spilled tomato sauce on his white T-shirt, and the main course hasn’t even been served.
Lan Zhan tamps down on the urge to glare at him. Wen Ning is easily bullied (another item in Lan Zhan’s maybe real spreadsheet of reasons why Wen Ning would not be a good boyfriend for Wei Ying), and Lan Zhan would like to get through this night without Wen Ning bursting into tears. Only because Wei Ying wouldn’t be happy.
It’s a very nice restaurant. Lan Zhan picked it out himself, when Wei Ying asked if he wanted to get dinner at some point over the weekend. Well, he first called his brother to stop panicking, and then he spent about half an hour on in-depth research on the best restaurants in the city. Then he called his brother again when Wei Ying said he was bringing Wen Ning with him, and then they actually got to the restaurant.
And then Wei Ying went to the restroom twenty minutes in, and never came back.
Lan Zhan pulls out his phone and checks again. After Wei Ying left the table, he and Wen Ning sat in mostly awkward silence after Wen Ning’s one failed, awkward attempt at starting a conversation. Eventually, he pulled out his phone to call Wei Ying and ask if everything was alright, only to see a text from Wei Ying saying he’d forgotten about some work he had to do, but to enjoy dinner with Wen Ning, with a damn winky face at the end.
The air inside the restaurant is suddenly hot and stifling. Lan Zhan wants to go outside and stand in the cool spring air until he feels less claustrophobic. He wants to chase down Wei Ying and drag him back to his own dinner date. He wants to shake him by the shoulders and demand that he stop trying to set up Lan Zhan on dates and just date him, instead, and maybe a few other things as well, but they’re hardly relevant right now.
“Do you want to, um,” Wen Ning ventures hesitantly, “leave?”
Lan Zhan nods sharply, lips pressed shut for fear that if he opens them he’ll end up insulting Wen Ning. He’s been trying to get along with Wen Ning. It’s just hard when Wei Ying pulls things like this.
“O-okay,” Wen Ning says. “I’ll get the waiter?” And he scampers off.
Lan Zhan continues sitting stiffly in his chair, but he takes the opportunity to close his eyes and relax minutely. Wei Ying, he thinks mournfully, can you really not see us together? At this point, Wei Ying has tried to set him up with everyone but Wei Ying himself. Lan Zhan is beginning to get the message.
Wen Ning returns with the waiter, and Lan Zhan pays before Wen Ning can even suggest it. If Wei Ying were here, they would fight over who is paying for the other until they ended up splitting the bill. Wen Ning is too afraid to argue with him, so Lan Zhan pays for everything, and then stalks out of the restaurant, nearly vibrating with frustration.
Wei Ying would probably like it if he makes sure Wen Ning gets home safely, because Wen Ning has a habit of getting lost and of getting in trouble, but Lan Zhan doesn’t. All he can think to do is go home, add another entry to his spreadsheet, and cry.
Here’s how it happened:
“I, uh,” Wen Ning says, squatting awkwardly next to Wei Ying. “I really don’t think you should be doing this.”
“Aw, c’mon,” Wei Ying says, completely ignoring him, “I’m his best friend!” He yanks Wen Ning back down when he tries to stand up and escape from behind the bush.
“There’s a street right behind us,” Wen Ning protests. “Anyone could see us.”
“No one comes by here,” Wei Ying says dismissevely, waving a hand in the vague “behind” direction. “It’ll be fine.”
Indeed, the street behind them is a narrow one-way road, completely deserted right now and probably for a while. Even if a car did pass by, the driver is unlikely to stop just to ask the two of them why they’re lurking behind the bushes. And Wei Ying’s chosen position does in fact hide the two of them from view from the park on the other side of the row of bushes.
But that isn’t Wen Ning’s concern.
“I meant Lan Zhan,” Wen Ning explains. He doesn’t bother to point, because Wei Ying hasn’t taken his eyes off Lan Zhan this whole time. “I don’t think? He would appreciate, uh. This.”
To be fair, Wen Ning doesn’t know Lan Zhan that well, at least not personally, so he stutters over his assertion and ends up trailing off weakly.
Lan Zhan steps to the side of the path politely to let another couple pass. His date doesn’t notice them, and when he finally does, he stumbles back and crushes several flowers underfoot.
Wei Ying scowls at his bush cover. “What does he think he’s doing?” He mutters.
“W-wasn’t this your idea?” Wen Ning asks.
Wei Ying scowls again, but thankfully not in Wen Ning’s direction. He doesn’t think he could take the slightest hint of criticism from his friend. “Look,” he says, in a defensive tone that just begs trouble, “Lan Zhan has never gone on a date before. I know he likes guys, but he never goes out, so I thought I’d set him up with somebody. Lan Zhan deserves to be happy, you know? He can’t be satisfied just being friends with me.”
Why not? Wen Ning wonders, but doesn’t say so.
“Oh shit, they’re moving,” Wei Ying says abruptly. “Let’s move.”
Lan Zhan and his date are heading towards the eastern exit of the park, further away from the street. Wei Ying springs up from behind the bush, and then leaps over it in a typical careless display of athleticism. His hand shoots out and snags Wen Ning’s wrist without even looking, and Wen Ning stumbles through the bushes after him, crashing through the foliage with the grace of a baby elephant.
“They’re going to the restaurant. Are they going to the restaurant? Wen Ning, what do you think?” Wei Ying leans against a tree this time and peers over the side. Wen Ning hovers awkwardly nearby him, unsure of where to go or how to hide.
“I think we shouldn’t follow them,” Wen Ning says firmly.
Wei Ying sighs. “Look,” he says again. “I’m trying to make Lan Zhan happy, okay? If I ask him how it went, he’ll just say ‘fine’ and I won’t know anything! This is the only way that I can collect actual evidence. I gotta get the data, Wen Ning. It’s about the charts.”
Wen Ning thinks it’s pretty clear that Wei Ying is a STEM major, but he doesn’t say so.
“Where did you find this guy?” Wen Ning says. It’s remarkably rude, for him, but in his defense, Lan Zhan is clearly not having a good time. Wen Ning is far less adept at reading his body language than Wei Ying, but by his judgement he would say that Lan Zhan is a few bad moments from just walking out.
Lan Zhan abruptly pauses his power walk out of the park to turn on the other man and say something. It’s hard to make out the exact contours of his face from here, and Lan Zhan generally speaks quietly, but the loud, angered tones of his date come across clearly. Arguing this soon into a date is generally not a good sign, though to be fair Wen Ning had never been on a date before.
“A …friend of a friend of a friend…of a friend,” Wei Ying says dismissively. He peers so hard he nearly loses his grip on the tree and faceplants into the grass. “There weren’t a whole lot of…options. You know. People willing to…”
Date Lan Zhan, he doesn’t say, because Wei Ying is a good friend. It’s a little sad, but it’s perfectly understandable, in Wen Ning’s opinion. His sister once described Lan Zhan as “hot and dour, like a sad lemon.” It’s not hard to figure out that Lan Zhan is very studious, and very smart. People respect Lan Zhan. They respect him enough to give him the space his permanent demeanour suggests. Wen Ning has never met someone with a stronger do not approach me vibe. Lan Zhan’s face is already judging you for the stupid question you have yet to ask.
Lan Zhan is good-looking, but unapproachable. His family is well-off, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at him. There’s not a family more frugal than the Lans. In short, it’s difficult to find a list of men willing to go on a date with Lan Zhan.
“Aaaand he’s walking away,” Wei Ying reports.
Sure enough, Lan Zhan turns on his heel and stalks through the park, head held high in his most unapproachable demeanour. Wei Ying inches around to the properly hidden side of the tree. His date shouts something at his back, which goes completely ignored, and then stomps off in the opposite direction.
Wei Ying sighs and plonks himself down on the ground when both of them are gone. He slumps against the tree, and Wen Ning hesitantly sits down next to him.
“I just wish I could find someone nice,” Wei Ying says, frustrated. “Lan Zhan deserves someone nice. The only nice person I know is my sister, and she’s.” He scowls instead of saying married to Jin Zixuan, because Wei Ying is still salty about that. “And you too, I guess,” Wei Ying adds off-handedly, then straightens against the tree. There’s a mad-genius glint in his eyes. “Hey. Hey. Wen Ning.”
Oh, Wen Ning thinks. Oh no.
Wen Ning had a lonely childhood.
It’s not something he likes to think about, and he likes talking about it even less, but sometimes he thinks it’s important to think about the consequences. Between growing up in the shadow of his infamous cousins, and even more infamous uncle, and the childhood illness that came back clawing for him just when he was starting to get out of his family’s legacy, Wen Ning simply never made any friends.
“I can get him to stop,” Wen Qing says. “If you want. I can get him to listen.”
They still share an apartment, after everything. Or perhaps it is because of everything that they do. Wen Qing usually returns from her medical shifts with nothing on her mind but sleep, but she saves a few minutes of consciousness to deal with Wen Ning’s predicament.
Wen Qing didn’t have the same trouble making friends. She stood out, even from a young age. In personality and in ability, Wen Qing outshone both of Wen Ruohan’s sons by far. She easily became part of the unbeatable quarter that is Jiang Yanli, Qin Su, Luo Qingyang, and Wen Qing. To them, Wen Ning is Wen Qing’s cute baby brother, who sometimes tagged along when Wen Qing said so.
Wen Ning is the one who faded into the background. Wen Ning is the one who struggled to be his own individual person, shadowed as he was by all the Wens brighter and smarter than him. He didn’t mind it back then. He adored his sister more than anything. She all but raised him, and she’s incredibly over-protective about him.
Two tea cups cool on the coffee table. Wen Ning pulls the blankets up the couch and holds an arm up. Wen Qing takes the invitation and leans against his side, settling into a comfortable, exhausted slump, head resting on his shoulder.
“Wei Ying means well,” Wen Ning says loyally. At least, he believes it’s loyalty. He hopes it’s not gratitude, or out of a sense of obligation.
Wen Qing snorts into his sleeve. “When does Wei Ying not mean well? He always means well. It doesn’t matter, if it turns out…” she sighs. “Poorly.”
Wei Ying means well. He’s a lot, sometimes, but sometimes that’s a good thing. Wen Ning knows that firsthand. He knows people say that about Wei Ying. He’s too loud, he’s annoying, he doesn’t understand when to go away. And always, Wen Ning’s first thought will be of four sterile walls and a world defined by the ends of his hospital bed. The state of existing that turned hours into days, days into a meaningless blur, life into a meaningless blur. The time his priorities all suddenly shifted into one single drive to survive.
And then, in the white, lonely box of a room with its single, lonely boy, there was Wei Ying. In between all the takeout and TV shows and coursework and Pokémon and live bunny rabbits, Wen Ning had better days. On one better day he looked at Wei Ying, worn to the bone and still there for Wen Ning, who still naively thought that Wei Ying was doing all this for his job, and said thank you.
Well, Wei Ying had said, that’s what friends are for, right?
Oh, Wen Ning had replied. Friends?
Wei Ying had laughed at him then; yes, friends, just you wait ‘till you meet Jiang Cheng. Wei Ying never acted like Wen Ning was going to die, even though the doctors thought so. Wei Ying was so much, too much, and that was barely enough. Wei Ying pulled him through his lonely white box, stayed with him as he walked in sunlight once more, and saved his life during those long months.
So yes, Wen Ning is grateful. But it doesn’t feel accurate to say that, when mere gratitude could never repay Wei Ying for all he did.
“It does matter,” Wen Ning says firmly.
He doesn’t say, if Wei Ying listened when told to go away, I probably wouldn’t be alive right now. Because Wen Ning doesn’t like thinking about his past illness, and he likes talking about it even less. But he does think it, he can’t help it, and he knows his sister does too, because she sighs.
“It’s your dating life,” Wen Qing concedes.
Wen Ning flushes red, because somehow his sister just saying dating in relationship to him makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t squirm in place or anything, but he knows that his sister knows exactly how embarrassed it makes him. Wen Ning? With a dating life?
A fatal illness is a hell of a time to redefine life’s priorities. Wen Ning supposes that he didn’t redefine them, exactly, so much as throw out anything except for getting through the next day. It’s only after, when the illness was behind him, that Wen Ning found himself at a loss of what to do with the life that he wasn’t supposed to have.
He’s figured something out now, or he’s trying to. Wen Ning is finally going to college, trying film studies. He’s figuring out the things he likes, he’s figuring out what he likes and who he likes.
And not once, in all that time, has romance seriously crossed his mind.
Although Wen Ning dislikes confrontation, that’s not why he avoids talking to Wei Ying about the setups. Mostly he thinks that Wei Ying will just give up. It’s clear, or it should be clear, that Wen Ning has no interest in Lan Zhan, and it’s painfully clear that Lan Zhan has no interest in him.
It should be clear, but then Wei Ying brings it up again at Wen Ning’s birthday party, and he snaps.
“I wish you’d stop bringing that up,” Wen Ning says meekly. “It’s not going to happen.”
Snaps for Wen Ning’s definition of snaps anyway. It is supposed to be his birthday party. Wen Ning doesn’t see why he should be harassed about this on his birthday.
There’s barely anyone here, because Wen Ning doesn’t really have friends. He has a few people he talks to, but his only friends are Wei Ying and Qin Su. So the only people in this small apartment are Wei Ying, Qin Su, Wen Qing, and Lan Zhan, because Wei Ying brought him along, because of course he did.
He’s heard all of Wei Ying’s speeches about his quest to find “true happiness” for his two best friends, but something about hearing him say that in front of everyone in Wen Ning’s small circle makes him feel…diminished.
“I’m happy,” Wen Ning says helplessly. “I am happy.”
Wei Ying stares at him, and Wen Ning resists the urge to fidget. They’re gathered around the kitchen island, and Wen Qing quietly puts down her spoon. It still clunks loudly in the dead silence that follows. Lan Zhan stands stiffly by the door, but Wen Ning doesn’t look because he’s probably glaring at Wen Ning.
Happiness is so very elusive. Wen Ning has spent most of his adult life trying to define it. What he knows is this: happiness is fleeting. Happiness is superficial. What Wen Ning measures is the average, because during all those months in his lonely hospital room, the average day was poor. Not dismal, not terrible, but depressing in a quiet, boring way that Wen Ning struggles to explain.
In comparison, he is so much happier now. And he doesn’t understand what special, higher level of happiness romance is supposed to unlock for him.
“But the night with the frozen mango,” Wei Ying says quietly. Wen Ning knows he’s gotten through to him based on that alone. Wei Ying sits down on one of the counter stools. “In the basement of the art building. You said you wanted someone.”
Wen Ning remembers that night. It was soon after he turned twenty-one, and Wei Ying got him mind-numbingly drunk. Wei Ying had to call drive him to his sister’s apartment. But Wen Ning knows that because Wen Qing keeps bringing it up, not because he remembers it. Wen Ning casts his mind back, struggling to recall what he said that night. It was after his art exhibition, he remembers that, and he celebrated with Wei Ying because Wen Qing was busy, so he didn’t have anyone else to celebrate with.
“I said I was lonely,” Wen Ning says. “I didn’t mean…I just wanted friends.”
It sounds a little pathetic, when he says it out loud. This is why he doesn’t like saying these things out loud. But Wei Ying just blinks at him.
“Oh,” Wei Ying says. For his next trick, he says; “But.” Then he swivels awkwardly in his chair, and looks at the wall near Lan Zhan. “Lan Zhan.”
“Maybe you should try asking him out yourself,” Wen Ning says gently.
Lan Zhan attempts to sink into the walls. Unfortunately, his white clothes contrast quite sharply with the brown wood, as does his blushing face, and his scarlet red ears.
“Huh,” says Wei Ying, thoughtfully. Then he turns back to Wen Ning. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I was just trying to help.”
“I know,” Wen Ning says. “I know you were.”
Qin Su clears her throat. “I think you’d get along with one of my studio classmates. His name’s Mo Xuanyu.”
“I’ll introduce you to Nie Huaisang,” Wei Ying decides. “I have no idea who is more bullyable and I want to know.”
“Wen Ning,” Wen Qing says confidently.
“Jiejie,” Wen Ning complains, but she only smirks at him.
“And I bet you’ll get along with Lan Zhan, now that he doesn’t see you as competition,” Wei Ying says cheerily, and Lan Zhan looks so mortified he could melt into a pile of smitten goo.
“Let’s toast,” Qin Su proposes, raising her glass. “To getting little A-Ning friends.”
“To friendship,” Wen Qing agrees dryly.
“To Wen Ning!” Wei Ying says brightly, getting Lan Zhan a glass of grape juice, because he’s a baby. “Happy birthday, Wen Ning!”
“Happy birthday,” the others chorus, and they drink.