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No one was surprised when the Lalondes announced they, with the help of John and Jane, had put together a party to celebrate surviving the game. They were a little surprised when they said it was required they bring a date. Especially Karkat, who was now stuck listening to Dave go on about how they aren't letting him DJ.
"And I'm pretty sure they're just gonna use spotify or some shit. Who wants to have to listen through an ad every ten songs. And besides... Hey Karkat, you listening bro?"
Karkat looked up from his husktop. "Yes Dave. I am hanging on your every word. Why would I want to miss any of this when I still need to figure out who the fuck I'm supposed to go with." He rolled his eyes to emphasise his point and looked back down.
"Man I thought you were gonna ask John, then we could fight for his affection when I ask ten minutes later." Dave smirked; it wasn't exactly a secret that they were both planning on asking John, even if Karkat did think this whole thing was stupid.
"As fun as that all sounds, he's already going with someone else." This time the eye roll was purely to emphasise Dave's stupidity. "I thought you knew that already."
"Nah man." Dave shrugged. "I didn't hear anything about it. So then what about your hacker buddy? You guys hang out alot."
"Thats who he's going with. I guess he asked John if he wanted to go," he did air quotes, "as moirails." He shook his head. "Lying asshole."
"Wait. John's going with Sollux? How am I just now hearing this?" Dave pulled his phone out of his pocket, only to be met with about twenty messages from John.
Karkat held back a laugh at Dave's distressed face. "Maybe because it happened while you were whining about DJing. Is your phone always on silent?"
"Only when I'm with my ever-loving moirail." The smile would have looked sincere if the tone hadn't been so sarcastic. He typed a short reply to John.
"It's nice to know my moirail cares so much." He gave a smile that displayed the sarcasm his tone didn't hold. "But seriously, who am I supposed to go with? And why does Rose care so much about us bringing a date?"
"TZ?"
"Going With Vriska. Something about wanting to rebuild the relationship."
"Nepeta?"
"Equius. Meowrails."
"Right. Umm."
"Jade is going with Feferi. Kanaya with Rose. Gamzee is with Tavros." Karkat counted it out on his fingers. "That leaves Aradia and Eridan. Aradia is nice, and Eridan might be my friend, but there is no way in hell I'm going on a 'date' with him." He sighed. "This is hopeless."
"Man, I'm hurt. What about me? That still leaves me dateless. If Sollux and John and the meowrails can go as moirails then why can't we?"
"Hmm, good point." Karkat thought for a moment. "We don't need to tell them that, though."
Dave stopped texting and looked up. "Like, because they all know we're moirails, or like because it'll be fun to fuck with them."
"I was thinking the latter, but they might assume the first one." Karkat looked at Dave's phone, lost in thought. "You still texting John?"
Dave didn't even look up from his phone. "Yeah. Why?"
"I think I have a plan." Karkat smirked.
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"Oh my gosh. Sollux. Sollux look." John was grinning from ear to ear. "You gotta see this text I just got from Dave."
"JB ath much ath I love to thee texth from DV, why do I wanna thee the perthonal texth he thent you?" Sollux barely looked up from his husktop when he answered.
"Fine, I'll just read it aloud then."
"Oh God. Thith better be good JB."
"It is." His smile was almost a smirk. "He said, quote, 'finally found a date for roses shindig. it wasn't to hard to convince karkitten if you know what I mean'."
"Oh my God. He didn't."
"He did. Look." Both boys were smirking as John passed Sollux the phone.
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Karkat banged his head on the desk. "Why did you have to phrase it like that."
Dave shrugged. "It worked."
"Really?" Karkat looked up. "What did he say?"
"Nice one Dave. Sollux wants me to tell you 'about time'." Dave smirked "How long do you think til everyone else has seen it?"
"The party's tomorrow. I say three hours. Four tops."
"Wanna put money on that? I say two if Roxy finds out."
"You're on."
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"Roxy just texted me." Dave stated nonchalantly, right after a ping from his phone alerted him about a text.
"No way. You didn't even have time to look at it." Karkat got up to look at Dave's phone.
"She did. Look." He held out his phone.
Karkat read the text aloud. "Have fun kiddo. Winkey face."
"Looks like you owe me ten boonbucks." Dave held out his hand.
"Bullshit. We know Roxy heard, but you only have ten minutes until the three hour mark and you can't prove that she told everyone else yet." Karkat's text tone went off.
"Who's that?" Dave grabbed for Karkat's phone.
Karkat pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Hold on." There was a pause. "It's Rose."
Dave smirked. "And." It wasn't a question and Karkat knew it.
"She knows. Which means Kanaya knows. Damn it." Karkat glared at his phone like it had caused him some kind of personal misdoing.
Dave held out his hand. "Hand it over, babe."
Karkat pulled out ten boonbucks. "Asshole."
Dave took it with a smirk. "Don't I know it, kitten."
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After a whole day of bullshitting everyone into thinking that they were actually red for each other, Karkat was kinda ready for this to all be over. It was getting a little annoying, a lot exhausting, and Sollux's "about time" comment was starting to make him overthink shit. Because despite what that comment might imply, he and Dave have not been secretly harboring red feelings for one another. At least he didn't think Dave was, and as for his possible red feelings for Dave, well, those were hidden well enough. Or he had thought they were. Now he just hoped that Dave hadn't noticed. At least he could take some comfort in the fact that Dave was the most obtuse motherfucker when it came to quadrants. Any slip-ups Karkat may have made could all be explained off as pale and he was none the wiser. Even if some of the other trolls quirked an eyebrow at it. At least they all had the decency not to say anything about it. Right until this whole scheme came into play. Then apparently it was free game. Between the two of them, they must have a thousand "about time" messages. Now, standing outside of Rose's house, letting Dave try one last time to get his hair to do something manageable, he wondered what he had been thinking the day before. Here he was, with his moirail, pretending they were flushed for each other. Except he was flushed for Dave. But Dave wasn't supposed to know that. Dave was only supposed to think they were bros. Because no matter how much he made a joke of it, everyone knew he liked John. Except maybe John. John and Dave where the two most thick-headed morons and they seemed perfect for eachother. Dave seemed to think so anyway, and Karkat, being the good moirail he was, listened to him talk himself in circles for hours about it. Luckily he had a whole night of not having to hear about it. Unfortunately that also came with a night of unwanted socialization. Speaking of which, the sooner they got in there the sooner he could convince Dave to let them leave.
"Would you stop fucking with my hair. It's as good as it's gonna get." He swatted the hands out of his hair.
Dave frowned, and Karkat could picture the way his eyes were scrunched up in concentration behind his shades. "I don't know man. I'm sure we could do something with it. Just let me." He was reaching for Karkat's hair again.
"No. No, just fucking stop. Let's just get this over with. I still don't know how we managed to make it out of that damn game alive, and I am not looking forward to a whole night of everyone asking me about it." He was glaring now.
"Alright chill. It'll be fine. We only have to stay an hour. And I'll kick any ass necessary." Dave draped an arm over Karkat's shoulders.
"There will be no ass kicking. As much as I don't want to be here, I really don't want to be banned from all future Lalonde parties." Arms crossed and lips pouted, Karkat glared at the house. "Now let's go. I'm pretty sure we're the only ones not in there yet."
Dave gave Karkat a typical Strider grin. "First off, if I start a fight Roxy will just video tape it, and we will be invited back always. Unless the fight is with Jane. Then it's iffy. And secondly, I know for a fact Dirk isn't here yet. He'll be exactly fashionably late. And by that I mean he forgot what time he was supposed to be here."
"I don't give a shit. Let's just g-" The door swung open and John walked out onto the porch.
"Are you two lovebirds gonna stand out there all night or are you gonna come in here and explain to us why it took you so long to get together." He was yelling from the top step, obviously not wanting to come out further without his jacket.
Karkat's eyes got wide and he looked up at Dave. "Dave, this was a terrible idea. Let's just go home and say I wasn't feeling well. Actually, I think I'm gonna be sick soon, we may not have to fake it."
Dave waved at John to go back inside. He thankfully got the hint, closing the door back up behind himself. Dave turned to face Karkat again. "Dude it'll be fine. We've been over this. We're just gonna tell them we're idiots. They all think that anyway. And tomorrow we can tell them that you have overthrown John as master prankster."
Karkat shook his head. "Let's just. I. I can't. Dave, bring me home." He was physically shaking now, and he was doing his best to hide it. He reached out to grab Dave's sleeve, and was a bit surprised to find it had moved. Then he was a lot surprised when it and it's companion wrapped themselves around him. "Dave. Dave what are you doing?"
"Shhh. Hold on. Relax. Then tell me what's really bothering you so much." He tried to relax, he really did, but it was cold out, and Dave was warm, and the pale gesture that would normally make him feel better was just bringing him closer to tears tonight. Instead he just planted his face in Dave's shirt and hoped no one in the house was paying any attention. Dave just stood there holding Karkat, chin between his horns. He waited, and when Karkat gave off a shaky sigh he took a small step back and placed his hands on either side of Karkat's face. "Now tell me what's wrong."
And now this just wasn't fair. Dave had learned long ago, back on the meteor, just how to get Karkat to talk. And he knew Karkat wouldn't lie to him. Now there lies Karkat's problem. He can't lie to his moirail, but chances are if he tells Dave what's bothering him he will no longer have a moirail. The chances of that being because he gained a matesprit are slim to none. This is no rom-com, and he knows Dave likes John. And of course his mouth decides to run before his brain can catch up, and that always gets him into so much trouble.
"This whole thing was a stupid idea, and I don't know what I was thinking because I seem to have forgotten some very important details, and I don't even know where I was going with this sentence." He stopped for air, but it seemed he wasn't done with humiliating himself just yet. "Because, we're moirails, so we tell each other shit, and so I know you like John, but maybe I thought. Well I was wrong because this is real life, not one of my stupid movies. I'm. I'm just gonna go now." He turned to the house, planning on finding someone who would be willing to give him a quick ride home.
He didn't get far before Dave grabbed his wrist. He didn't even have time to say anything before Dave turned him so they were facing again, placed his hands back on his face, and kissed him. When he pulled away Karkat felt like lead and his mouth was as dry as a sea-dweller's out of water in the middle of the summer. But Dave was giving him that smile. That genuine smile that almost no one had seen, and he wrapped Karkat in another hug. This time he hugged back, and Dave was whispering in his ear. "It's alright, Karkat. I love you too."