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You’ve waited your entire life for this moment. Everything you’ve ever been and will be has been leading up to this precise time in your life, and as you stand in the doorway of the house you now call home you know that your wait is nearly over.
He looks at you from his seat across the room and his eyes are like omniocculars that see directly into your soul. That haunting and fathomless cerulean gaze that you’ve seen in your dreams since you were eight years old. Your heart stammers in your chest like you are a teenager all over again, except this time you are free from the bondage of your family and you can finally be the man that you were always terrified to be on your own.
When he unfolds himself and stands up, the faintest smile quivers at the corners of your mouth and when he closes the distance that remains between you it feels like the first time all over again. He searches your eyes as he draws closer and when he stops before you, you can feel the warmth radiating off of him in waves. “You’re not backing out now.” He says with a quirk of lips and a laugh that isn’t meant to sound as nervous as it comes across and it strikes you deep in the center of your soul because you never want him to doubt you again. “Nothing could keep me away.” Your words quake with a truth that transcends this moment and his gaze softens because he understands; he always understands, even when you don’t say a word.
His fingertips feel like a raging brushfire that singe your skin through your clothing as he slides them up the stiff angle of your chest and around your neck. “Is this considered bad luck?” He asks coyly and the expression alone is enough to make you consider throwing the silly superstition a sharp two fingered salute. “I’ll take my chances,” You reply throatily and then you kiss him and the rest of the world melts away.
By the time Blaise is dragging you out the front door you are flushed and breathless and you seriously want to reconsider his position as your best mate. “Keep in your trousers for the night, boys.” He laughs as he says this to you both and when Theodore laughs along with him the grip your blood has on your heart lessens slightly. “Don’t be late.” He calls after you as he waves goodbye and the last thing that you see are those eyes, the ones that see every single part of you.
Out on the street the air is cold and your breath comes in short puffs that linger and trail after you. Your head begins to clear and the reality of what is coming is glaring you in the face and you cannot help but smile because this time it doesn’t feel like anyone is forcing your hand. The walk to Blaises’ flat is sobering in ways that have nothing to do with consumption and you remember why it is that he is your very best friend. “I’m so proud of you.” He says unexpectedly as he walks double time beside you to keep up and when you smirk sidelong at him he rolls his eyes and just laughs. “Don’t be a prat, I mean it. It makes me happy to see you happy.” His words hit you full on and make you feel far more sentimental than you’d prefer in a public setting. “Thank you.” You say quietly, and when a silence falls between you it is reflective instead of awkward and you silently marvel at what you’ve become.
It is in a darkened guest bedroom at Blaises’ flat that you stare up at the ceiling and think about your life. There have been so many moments that you were not sure you would ever make it out alive, figuratively or not. Your memories rewind in your mind like a movie picture in reverse and although so much of it seems like a blur, there is one thing that is constant in every single image. Him. The years that have amassed between you and Theodore span so much life and so many emotions that it is impossible to wrap your head around it all at times. He came into your life like an annoying mistake and although you tried your damnedest to deny it, still he remained. He had successfully ingrained himself into your soul long before you could accept it and now that you have, your heart sings with love and pride and the happiness of all that the future holds.
When you finally drift off to sleep you dream of two little boys running down lush garden pathways, one blond and one with hair the color of a raven’s wings and the bluest eyes that you’ve ever paid witness to.
The next morning hits you like a steam engine train and although you try your best to remain calm and unaffected, you are anything but. You dress with a methodical purpose and when you stare at your own reflection and straighten your tie, the one with delicate cerulean pinstripes that signify far more than the designer name stamped on the underside, you know that you are looking at the very best version of your own self.
The trip to Malfoy manor has your nerves on edge and when the massive wrought iron gates come into view your breath catches in your throat because you no longer associate this place with the negativity of your upbringing. Daphne catches you the moment you step foot on the grounds and whisks you away for last minute preparations and a pep talk like only she can. No detail is left unperfected and by the time she throws her arms around your neck and hugs you tightly you feel like you are living someone else’s life.
The gathering is small and intimate because that is how you wished it to be. You have no need for garish displays because that is not who you are anymore. The guest list has been culled to perfection and only those who truly mean something to the life that you have built are present. When the idea was first passed between you, the manor had not been your first choice, for countless reasons. Of course the old place held so many negative memories, not to mention it was the location of your first wedding, but in the end you had both agreed that there was really nowhere else that signified your bond like Malfoy manor.
There is a small cluster of chairs forming a half circle around a particular stretch of grass on the sprawling lawns, and when the sun begins to set you cannot bear to look up at the stars above because you still have a reputation to uphold and you refuse to cry like a child in front of anyone. Tiny firefly lights glow softly around your party as you take his hands in yours and when he looks up at you, you see yourself as he sees you and it splinters your soul into a million pieces.
The ceremony is intimate and timeless and when his fingers shake in your grasp you smile and give them a little squeeze because you know exactly how he feels.
Everything that the two of you have endured and all of the twists and turns of your forever joined lives has brought you full circle back to the most important location of your life. When you are officially bound together in marriage you feel complete in ways that you never have before in the forty-something years that you have collected for yourself. He is your partner and your soul mate and the only love of your life and when you take him in your arms and kiss him beneath a blanket of stars it cauterizes whatever vestiges of your past that remains because now he is really is your mate. You don’t even hear the cheers of your friends and family around you because you are lost in the riptide of the past and the present and the future all colliding around you at once and it feels like perfection.
When your lips part he is smiling in ways that far exceed this moment and you understand, because you always understand him, even when no words are spoken between you.
The celebration that follows is like no other and you make a mental note to send Daphne something shiny and extra special because she has truly outdone herself. You sit by his side and watch your guests celebrate your union and it makes you feel like a sentimental old fool. Never in your life have you ever felt so content and happy and fulfilled and although the weight of the emotions attached to these feelings threatens to consume you, no one would ever be able to tell. Except the man sitting beside you.
Scorpius and Albus have commandeered the small dance floor like they are the only two people in the world and you smile proudly because your son has managed to live his own life like you never could and it fills you with pride because he is one of the few things in your life that you’ve managed to get right.
Blaise makes a toast halfway through dinner that borders on embarrassing and you can only laugh and shake your head because you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Daphne manages to steal away a few moments between running all the behind the scenes details to spend time with you both and her eyes are glassy and swollen with a happiness that you don’t see from her often enough.
It is late into the night when you find yourself walking the grounds hand in hand with Theodore, and when he veers off towards your mother’s gardens that still stand as lush and full of life as they ever did you smile because you know that you have finally let go of all of the resentment and the anguish of your past. “I wish she was here,” he says quietly as you tread down forgotten pathways that are surrounded by fat and prospering blooms. “She is.” You reply with a smile and when he comes to a stop and turns to face you, your arms fold him up in the warmest embrace. “She is.” He repeats in something similar to a whisper and then he rests his forehead against yours and his eyes fall shut and you watch him and marvel at the fact that he is finally all yours, in every sense.
You have no idea how long you stand just like that because time is relative when you are in his arms. When he looks at you, you can see the stars above shining in his eyes and you smile because you can’t think of anything to say, at least not out loud.
“I’m glad we decided on this place.” His words are ushered breathily between lingering kisses that burn your lips in the best possible ways and make you feel vaguely inappropriate. “Me too.” You whisper against his throat and when he sighs softly and tips his head back you know that it is time to go because you don’t fancy shagging in your mother’s garden. At least not today.
“Let’s go home.” You say a bit breathlessly, and when he lifts his head and fixes you with a devilish grin, you know he understands.
It isn’t very hard to slip away unnoticed, which is preferred to a big showy departure. You leave your friends and family to their own devices and seek the quiet and privacy of the place that you now call home; together. Your eyes never leave his as your fingers slowly work apart the knot in his tie and slide it from around his neck. He shivers imperceptibly and you smirk and shake your head because you specifically did not get married on a Thursday and he knows why.
When he aligns his body with yours in your bed you feel like you are exactly where you will always belong. He touches you and shatters you in ways that no one ever has or will and although he wields so much power, he is quietly unassuming in his role. You have the rest of your life to marvel over and appreciate this man who was once the impossible boy who stepped into your life so many years ago, and you don’t intend on wasting away a moment of it.
It is well after dawn when you drift off to sleep wrapped up in his embrace. You welcome sleep and you welcome whatever the future holds and you live your life without regret like you never have before and you know that your bond will always supersede all things, even death itself.