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“Is Xie Lian here?”
“Dianxia,” Hua Cheng said through gritted teeth, “is not here.”
Mu Qing swept past him, ignoring the muttered, “Please, come right in.”
He stood in the middle of the shrine, eyeing the newer furnishings. Still not to his taste and certainly not worthy of His Highness, but almost anything was better than what the place had looked like that first time he stepped foot inside.
He could do without said company though. Speaking of which…
“Why,” that said company loudly interrupted his musings, “and I mean this in the rudest way possible—are you here?”
Mu Qing scowled. “It’s not like I want to be here.”
“Then leave? Did you not hear me? His Highness isn’t here, he’s—”
“In the Heavenly Realm. Yes, yes, I know,” he waved off impatiently, beginning to pace around. “I need—I can’t talk to him about this.”
“So you came to me?” Hua Cheng said, clearly skeptical. Not that he could blame him.
“Look,” he snapped, “I’m not happy about it either. But no one else…” He grimaced at the floor. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter.”
They fell into a tense silence.
Mu Qing finally paused and looked up, blurting out, “How did you know you…you know…liked His Highness? Like…that?”
He never thought he’d ever see Crimson Rain Sought Flower struck speechless like this, but today was truly a day of experiencing new things.
Hua Cheng opened his mouth and blinked. Nothing came out. He shut it and blinked again.
And then, to Mu Qing’s utter distaste, he burst into peals of laughter. Of course, he would enjoy this. What else had he expected?
“Shut up,” he sulked. He was already regretting this.
“You,” Hua Cheng eventually gasped, struggling to recollect himself, but he only broke into hysterics again.
Mu Qing shot him a nasty look. “I will hit you,” he threatened. And maybe himself too, to be honest, if it would make him forget this ever happened.
The laughter died down as Hua Cheng finally began to regain his composure. He gave one final cough in a poor attempt to disguise his amusement and managed to say, “You came to me for relationship advice? Now this I need to hear.”
Yes, this was definitely a mistake.
Then suddenly, as if coming to some horrible realization, his eye widened with glee, and a grin that Mu Qing really didn’t like slowly crept onto his face. “Wait, is this about—is this about Feng Xin?”
Mu Qing instantly felt himself turn red and sputtered. “I—no? What makes you think that I—you must be out of your mind! Of all people!”
“Right. Of course.” Hua Cheng nodded, still wearing that same disturbingly smug smile. “My apologies for assuming,” he bowed mockingly, sounding anything but sorry.
Surprisingly, though, he sobered up quickly. “I don’t know exactly how I knew. I just did. It wasn’t any kind of grand revelation. More like things just falling into place, like it was always going to happen. Like loving him had always been a part of me.”
Mu Qing reflexively made a face. “That’s disgusting.”
“You’re the one who asked,” Crimson Rain replied, thoroughly unimpressed.
“And I wasn’t really expecting you to answer!”
That gave Hua Cheng pause. “Well at least Dianxia would be pleased to know this is going civilly.”
“Oh, no, no, no!” Mu Qing shook his head vehemently. “You absolutely cannot tell him about this. I don’t care that you’re—that you’re married or whatever. Xie Lian cannot know about this.”
“I can’t know about what?”
Mu Qing spun around so fast he nearly lost his balance and met Xie Lian’s curious gaze. He was standing in the doorway, Feng Xin half a step behind him looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
“Well,” Hua Cheng began, “your friend here was just asking me—”
“If we could spend more time together!” Mu Qing nearly yelled.
It took a moment for him to let what he just said sink in, and he mentally cursed himself.
Xie Lian had the decency to appear only mildly bewildered. Hua Cheng, on the other hand, who only had eyes (well, eye) for Xie Lian the moment he made his presence known, was actually shocked into whipping his head around to shoot him a disbelieving look.
And Feng Xin…
Feng Xin made a strangled sound, and when he chanced a glance at him, he was openly gaping at Mu Qing as if he’d personally offended him. Not that it was that uncommon of an occurrence, really, but he was making it seem like this was one the worst betrayals he’d ever experienced. Which. Okay, maybe his reaction wasn’t completely unwarranted.
So naturally, Mu Qing dug himself even further into the hole, filling the silence with, “You’ve been wanting us to get along for ages now, and since you two are, well, together and everything now, we might as well try to get to know each other better.” He glared at Hua Cheng, daring him to argue, but he really didn’t expect him to play along. And yet…
“Ah, yes, gege, that’s right,” Hua Cheng grit out with a forced smile, eye flashing in warning toward Mu Qing before his expression settled into something more genuine as he returned Xie Lian’s questioning gaze.
Hearing the confirmation from his husband, Xie Lian lit up. “That’s a wonderful idea! Maybe Feng Xin could also—”
“NO!” shouted Mu Qing and Feng Xin in unison.
“How did you live with it?” Mu Qing wondered aloud a week later.
They were back in Puji Shrine, just the two of them. He’d been sprawled out on the floor staring at the ceiling for the better part of an hour while Hua Cheng quietly practiced his calligraphy. Perhaps it was unbecoming of a martial god to assume such an undignified position, especially somewhere anyone could see him, but it was the most comfortable he’d ever been in Crimson Rain’s presence.
Not that this was saying much. Even so, the mere idea of being comfortable around him at all would’ve been unthinkable only a few days prior, but ever since that first incident, Xie Lian had been insistent on leaving them alone so they could have time to properly bond (his words, not theirs).
Unfortunately, it wasn’t…not working.
Hua Cheng didn’t even pause in his brush strokes. “Live with what?”
He really didn’t want to say it. “You know…”
“No, actually I don’t know,” he retorted, still not looking over. “This might come as a shock to you, but while I am an extremely powerful ghost king, I have yet to develop the ability to read minds.”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes. Typical of Hua Cheng to have such a high opinion of himself when he wasn’t even that impressive to begin with. “Ugh, you know, having to deal with liking someone.”
That got him to stop. He straightened his back and turned to frown at Mu Qing disapprovingly.
“I didn’t deal with liking Dianxia. It was never a burden.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, you know what I’m trying to say!”
“Do I? We clearly have very different views on love.”
Mu Qing mulled it over. Admittedly, there was some truth to that statement. Wait, hold on. He belatedly registered the last word and sat straight up. “It’s not! It’s not love!”
“Oh?” Hua Cheng said, setting down his brush and arching one eyebrow up in a challenge. “Then enlighten me. What is it exactly?”
His face felt like it was practically on fire. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was red enough to rival those gaudy robes Crimson Rain always wore. “It—it’s annoying, that’s what it is,” he huffed.
Annoying, yes. And embarrassing and overwhelming and heart-wrenchingly painful because unlike Hua Cheng, he was never going to have this.
All the fight left him. He flopped back onto the ground and let out a heavy sigh. He was really too old for this shit.
He sighed again. “This is so so stupid,” he muttered to himself.
“Finally!” Hua Cheng exclaimed dramatically. “Something we can agree on!” He turned around fully to lean against the table and extend one leg out in front of him, casually draping an arm over his bent knee. He looked every bit the careless, unbothered asshole he was. He fixed Mu Qing with an unimpressed look and continued, “But seriously just tell him. What’s the worst that could happen, you guys just ignore each other for another several hundred years?”
Mu Qing narrowed his eyes. “Not. Helping.”
“Ah, General Xuan Zhen” he drawled, “if you thought I was here to help, that’s your mistake.”
“He’s just so disgustingly…good. Like what the fuck?”
“Not as good as His Highness,” Hua Cheng piped up.
Mu Qing considered this. “Not as good as His Highness,” he conceded, “but no one could ever be as good as Xie Lian.”
“Wow.”
He turned his head to look over at Crimson Rain, now also sprawled out on the floor several meters away.
“That,” Hua Cheng continued, gaze following the silver butterflies that were fluttering through the air above him, “was probably the smartest thing you’ve ever said.”
Mu Qing’s subsequent eye roll was wasted on him. Feng Xin would’ve appreciated it. Well. Sort of.
“But that’s why it’s so annoying,” he groaned. “He’s good, but he’s an absolute idiot. I like him so much his stupidity is rubbing off on me.”
Hua Cheng snorted. “I think that’s all you.”
“Who the fuck asked?” he snapped without any bite to it.
One of the butterflies flitted near his head, just out of reach. Strange to think something so delicate-looking could inspire such fear among officials in the Heavenly Realm.
“Just tell him.”
Mu Qing peered at him in disbelief. “Because you were so forthcoming with Dianxia?”
“That’s different. It’s Dianxia. And I’m…” Hua Cheng trailed off.
He didn’t continue but Mu Qing could fill in the blanks. It was exactly what he told himself every day.
But he really didn’t want to get into that. So he waved a hand impatiently and barreled on. “Right, right. So what am I supposed to do? Just go right up to him and say, ‘hey, I might be a little in love with you’?”
There was a loud crash somewhere near the entrance, startling the two of them upright.
Xie Lian was fussing over Feng Xin, reaching down to help him up from where he seemed to have fallen.
Had he really tripped on nothing?
Mu Qing rolled his eyes.
For a martial god, he really was clumsy.
Once Xie Lian had helped Feng Xin, who was looking mildly shell shocked, back on his feet, he noticed they were both bright red. Their afternoon training must’ve been pretty intense to leave them in such a state.
“Well,” Xie Lian sounded incredibly flustered, “this is awkward. I, uh, didn’t know you felt that way about San Lang.”
Hua Cheng looked at Mu Qing in alarm then back at Xie Lian and promptly burst into laughter. “No, no, gege it’s not like that.”
What?
Then it clicked.
“No way,” he practically shouted, “absolutely not!” He couldn’t get it out fast enough. He needed them to know he wasn’t crushing on Hua Cheng. He needed Feng Xin to know. “Him? I do have some standards—no offense, Dianxia,” he added hastily once he realized the implication. This seemed to mollify Xie Lian. Or perhaps he was simply relieved Mu Qing had not just been declaring his love for his husband.
Really, he had nothing to worry about though. The thought made him want to gag, honestly. Besides, with Xie Lian there, it’s not like Hua Cheng would even consider giving anyone else the time of day.
“No, that—that was about F—someone else.” Why was he still talking? “Someone else who is not…him,” he finished lamely.
Despite doing his best not to wither under Xie Lian scrutiny, his composure nearly melted into horror when something like realization seemed to dawn on him as he glanced between him and Feng Xin.
Thank goodness for Feng Xin’s obliviousness, though. He hadn’t caught on to that detail yet, but he was eyeing him very strangely anyway, face carefully blank. “You like someone?”
Mu Qing panicked. “No, I don’t.”
Hua Cheng snorted. “That’s not what you were saying just a minute ago. What was it again, something about how he’s so—"
“Shut. Up.”
“I think you should tell him,” Xie Lian cut in smoothly. “You might be surprised.”
He blanched. “Oh no, not you, too.”
“Hold up. Does everyone else here know already?” demanded Feng Xin, sounding unreasonably upset. The audacity! This wasn’t even about him! Well, alright it was, but! He didn’t know that!
“Hmm, well I’m only guessing, but I think I’m correct,” Xie Lian mused.
There was a pause that must’ve been him communicating with his husband through their private array because a moment later Hua Cheng was nodding. “Technically, I also just guessed, but you didn’t deny it.” The glint in his eye as he smirked at Mu Qing was infuriating. “But yes, gege is right, as usual,” he confirmed, flashing Xie Lian an adoring smile which was returned in kind.
Ugh. They really had to do this when he was right there? Mu Qing wished with every fiber of his being that he could unsee every interaction they’d ever had in front of. It was nauseating.
Any other day he would’ve shared a Look with Feng Xin about just how disgusting it was, but the man in question was obviously preoccupied with other things, looking back and forth between Mu Qing and Hua Cheng in disbelief.
“Hold on! You told him,” Feng Xin pointed at Hua Cheng, “and not me?”
“I—” Then he realized. Feng Xin wasn’t just in disbelief—he was hurt. Hurt in a way Mu Qing hadn’t seen since, well, since then. All because of him. And what was he supposed to do with that?
“Do you not trust me?”
“No!” Mu Qing blurted. Impossibly, Feng Xin’s face fell even further. Oh fuck, that wasn’t the right thing to say. He scrambled to fix it. “I mean yes! But I don’t—it’s complicated.”
He desperately looked to Xie Lian, silently pleading for help, but he just chuckled nervously and put his hands up. “Ahh, I don’t really want to get too involved!”
“Do I know him?” Feng Xin asked, not once taking his eyes off Mu Qing.
“No.”
“Yes,” said Hua Cheng because he was an asshole. “Very well actually.”
“What?”
His head was spinning. “I’m not—”
“Just save us all the trouble and tell him already,” Hua Cheng groaned.
“Tell me what? Who is it?”
It was too much.
“You, you fucking moron!” Mu Qing ended up shouting, if only to get everyone to shut up.
What followed was absolute silence and then. “Huh. I didn’t think he’d actually do it,” commented Hua Cheng, sounding almost impressed.
“Ooookay!” Xie Lian swiftly stepped in, grabbing his husband’s hand and pulling him to the door. “I think we’ll be going now!”
“But gege—”
Xie Lian was nothing if not persistent, ignoring Hua Cheng as he continued to drag him away. “It was nice seeing you both, alright good luck!” he called out right before whisking them outside into the night.
An uncomfortable silence in the shrine stretched between the remaining two. Mu Qing refused to look at Feng Xin even though he could almost feel the way his eyes were boring into the side of his head.
It was getting unbearable.
He cleared his throat. “You know, I think I should head back too, so, um, I’m just gonna leave,” he announced and began inching toward the door. If only Feng Xin weren’t standing in the way. He would just have to pretend he wasn’t there. Yeah, that would work. “Okay bye.”
He made to sweep out the door, but a hand caught his wrist.
Well, he couldn’t say he was surprised by this turn of events. In fact, he’d half expected something like this. Even still, his heart was pounding in his chest, so fast that surely Feng Xin could hear it.
“Mu Qing.” That voice was much softer than he’d anticipated. He didn’t like it. It was doing things to him. “Mu Qing, look at me?”
He swallowed and gave an experimental tug, but Feng Xin’s grip was solid. “No.”
“Please?”
“I don’t want to hear it.” He hated how his voice wobbled. Feng Xin didn’t need any more reasons to make fun of him. He blinked hard.
From behind came a deep sigh, exasperated and, dare he say it, almost fond.
And then he was being turned around and engulfed in an embrace. Warm. Safe. It was nice. He hated it. But too shocked to do anything else, he just stood there as stiff as a board.
“Dumbass,” Feng Xin mumbled into his hair. “I like you too. So much it makes me stupid.”
“You’re already stupid,” he said reflexively.
“Stupid for you.”
Oh.
It was so fucking cheesy, but he hated to admit that it wasn’t…unwelcome.
He tentatively moved his arms to wrap around Feng Xin, who sighed and pulled him closer. As Mu Qing eventually relaxed in his hold, he thought to himself, Maybe I do get to have this.