Chapter Text
Around six hundred years ago, give or take a century, one of the last remaining pockets of fairy folk lived in part of what is now called Scotland. This small tribe of fae folk called their land Genosha, and it bordered a human kingdom called Westchester. Relations between the denizens of the two lands were strained, as each had a tendency to paint the other as the villain. By the time four fairy children were just starting to reach puberty no human or fairy folk from either of the two domains had actually talked to each other for a dozen years, and each starred as the monsters in each other's stories.
Erik was the eldest fairy brother. He had dark auburn hair, cheek bones so sharp they could almost cut, and a pair of thick horns winding out of the top of his head. However, none of those things were even his most prominent features; all anyone could see, upon meeting him, were the powerfully muscled and feather-covered wings that sprouted out of his shoulders.
When their parents died, together (as fairy couples do) just after the birth of his youngest brother, Erik took it upon himself to be the protector for his younger siblings: Alex, Angel, and Sean. He wasn't really an appropriate parent figure, as he was only a few years older than his next younger brother, Alex, but since the fairy siblings were also cared for by the gentle blue-furred beast Hank (whose age nobody knew, but based on how much he liked tea and reading he was presumed to be very old) they did not want for guidance. Erik got to be very good at taking care of his younger brothers and sister, but taking on that role made him feel a little distant from them and their childish quarrels, and frequently lonely.
One autumn day Erik was flying across Genosha, just enjoying the feel of his strong wings catching the air, when he spotted an unfamiliar figure walking on the ground. He flew closer to the figure to get a better view, and was almost shocked out of the sky to discover the figure was a human boy, not much older than himself.
Erik flew still closer, curious. The boy saw him and even at the distance he was, Erik saw the boy's face pale in fear. The boy leaned down and scooped up some rocks, which he started throwing at Erik.
Erik dodged the projectiles easily, although he was both annoyed and disappointed at the activity. "Why are you doing that?" he called to the boy.
"Because fairies hate humans," the boy yelled, still throwing rocks.
"I heard that humans hate fairies," Erik called back. One of the rocks hit his shoulder and his left side faltered. He didn't exactly crash land, but he hit the ground harder and with considerably less aplomb than he would have hoped for. He staggered a few feet before recovering his composure.
The boy was staring at him, still pale, not quite trembling, but Erik did see him swallow, hard. He hadn't thrown any more rocks since Erik had landed, but he had one in his hand and ready to throw. Erik stopped and stood about fifteen feet away from him. Closer, he could tell that the boy was probably fourteen years old, perhaps two years older than Erik himself.
"What are you doing here?" Erik asked. He hadn't seen a human before. He'd heard about them, and everything he'd heard was...bad. It hadn't really occurred to him that some humans weren’t adults. The human monsters in the fairy stories were never children.
"I'm just trying to get to the castle," the teenager said, and then corrected himself. "I mean, I am going to the castle."
Erik took a few steps closer. He was curious about the young man. The other watched him warily but did not throw any more rocks.
"What's it like to fly?" the human blurted out suddenly.
Erik was taken aback. "To fly? It's...amazing." Erik saw the boy staring at his wings and the hand holding the rock lowered. Erik cautiously spread his wings to their full width and watched the boy’s eyes get as big as saucers.
"Beautiful," he breathed.
Erik felt his cheeks flushing a little. He wasn't used to being admired. His wings were different from a lot of other fairies, who had wispy, fragile things, like his sister Angel. Erik's strong wings had been a gift from his parents - strong wings to control his strong magic, they told him when he was very young. He wasn't sure how much of that was real and how much was a bedtime story, though.
The boy took a few bold steps towards Erik's wings with an arm outstretched and Erik reflexively retracted them and took a step back. The boy looked rebuked. "I just wanted to..." he trailed off, looking at Erik uncertainly. "I wasn't going to hurt you."
"And I'm not afraid of you," Erik said, thinking it was mostly true. "But why should I trust you, when you were throwing rocks at me earlier?"
"I--wanted to scare you away," the boy admitted, his cheeks pink as he rubbed at the ground with the toe of his shoe. "I thought you were...like an animal."
Erik was silent a moment, thinking about this. He didn't really bear any ill will towards the boy, but he felt like he should. "You know you shouldn't be here."
"I know," the boy snapped suddenly, the flash of anger leaving his face as quickly as it had come. "I got--turned around. I'm leaving now." He turned as if to go, and hesitated, scanning his surroundings. A few uncomfortable minutes passed during which neither boy moved or said anything, although the human boy was still obviously looking for something nearby.
Erik couldn't stifle his own curiosity. "What are you looking for?" he asked.
The young man's mouth tightened like he didn't want to answer, but after a moment he did. "A black vein of rock in the ground."
Erik started looking around too, only to find that he was standing directly on top of it, his wings obscuring it from view. He moved aside and gestured for the boy to look at the vein. The boy's eyebrows jumped and he looked at the angle of the sun in the sky and started following the vein of rock to the east. Erik trailed him, not able to subsume his curiosity, although he told himself he was keeping an eye on the human for the safety of the fae folk.
"Then through the tree," the boy muttered to himself, apparently completely unaware that Erik could hear him. He walked up to a huge tree on a steep slope that had been dead for many years, and whose base was covered with leaves and forest debris. Erik followed the boy into the large base of the tree where there was just enough room for both of them to stand before the boy noticed Erik was still there. He jumped a little, standing in the burned-out hollow, staying close to Erik because there wasn't enough room to stand apart.
"You shouldn't see this. It's a secret," the boy said and then his eyes widened when he realized what he said.
Erik couldn't help smiling a little - the boy's facial expression was comical. "Not anymore it’s not," Erik pointed out with a smirk.
The boy grasped his arm. "No, really," he said with intensity. "You can't come through here." Once his eyes adjusted to the gloom inside the base of the tree, Erik saw that there was a tunnel leading into the ground opposite the way they’d come in. Not large, but big enough for a man. Probably not big enough for Erik, he thought, considering the size of his wings and horns.
"Okay, fine," Erik said, yanking his arm away. “I can’t fit in there, anyway.” The boy was still standing there, clearly waiting for Erik to leave. Erik was intrigued by him and his secrets, and he didn't really want the boy to go.
"Are you going to come back?" he said finally.
The boy frowned in confusion. "You want me to?"
"Well, yes. I mean, if you want to." Erik shrugged and tried to look nonchalant.
The boy contemplated. "Could I fly with you?"
"I don't know," Erik said honestly. "I could try."
The boy grinned at him and stuck out his hand, a gesture that was confusing to Erik. "My name's Sebastian."
Erik looked at the hand, puzzled. "I'm Erik." Sebastian saw where he was looking and he slowly reached out to Erik's right hand and grasped it in a handshake. Erik jumped a bit. So this is what touching a human feels like, he thought. It didn't actually feel that different from touching fae folk.
Sebastian released his hand. "I'll come back soon," he said.
It was the first lie he told Erik; he didn't return for five months.
**
When Sebastian did return, it was early spring. Erik and his siblings were gathering apples next to a pond when Erik felt a funny prickle on the back of his neck. He looked around and saw Sebastian, crouched in the bushes, watching him.
"Hi!" he called, landing and walking over to the boy. Sebastian shyly came out of the bushes. Erik could hear Angel and Sean whispering behind him but he paid them no mind.
"I'm glad you came back," Erik said.
Sebastian swallowed, looking from Erik to his siblings behind him. If Erik knew Alex, he was probably scowling something fierce right now. "I didn't know if you'd remember me," Sebastian said after a slightly awkward pause.
"Of course I remember you," Erik said, surprised. "You're the only human I've ever met."
"He's human?" Erik heard someone mutter, and then he could hear Angel and Sean flying around behind him in distress. He turned around to scowl at them and they scowled right back.
"This is Sebastian," Erik said, turning to face Alex, who was the only one of his siblings who was holding still, not having the ability to fly the way Angel and Sean could.
Erik was peppered with a million questions about how he had met Sebastian and he patiently answered all of their questions. He had actually told them about the encounter right after it happened but they apparently hadn't believed him. Not that Erik was prone to telling tales - although his siblings were.
By the time the fairies believed Erik and had introduced themselves to Sebastian, the human had relaxed, sitting cross-legged on the ground, peeling a blade of grass.
"So..." Erik wasn't sure what to say to Sebastian. "How have you been?"
"Fine, thanks," Sebastian responded automatically. He looked up at Erik. "I actually thought a lot about you."
"You did?" Erik had thought a lot about Sebastian, too, but he decided not to say that. "Why?"
Sebastian shrugged and looked back down at the blade of grass he was fiddling with. "Your wings, I guess."
"My wings?" Erik didn't know how to feel about that. They were part of him, and he actually thought they were his best feature, but for some reason he wished Sebastian had said something else. He spread out the wings in question. They were bigger than they had been the last time they'd seen each other.
Sebastian's face was overcome with the same look of wonder he'd had the first time he'd seen Erik spread his wings like that. He stood up slowly and walked towards Erik, stretching one hand out to stroke the feathers on one wing. Erik shivered at the light touch, despite feeling a new warmth curling deep in his abdomen.
"Can I fly with you?" Sebastian asked.
Erik hesitated. "What do you mean?"
"Well, could you...I don't know--carry me? Maybe on your back, or in your arms?"
Erik contemplated this for a long moment. "You would get in the way on my back, and I don't think I'm strong enough anyway."
"You can just say if you don't want to," Sebastian said, with an edge in his voice.
Erik started to protest, but he was interrupted by Angel's grinning face as it appeared between him and Sebastian. "Hey! Let's play a game with your new friend!"
Angel, Sean, and Alex all looked at Erik expectantly. "Sure," he said. "If Sebastian wants to."
"Yeah, okay," said the human boy, turning to look at the fairies. "What game?"
"It's called: Try Not To Fall In The Pond," Sean said mischieviously, before he made a sweeping turn in his flight path and pushed the boy into the pond.
"Sean!" Erik snapped. He waded into the pond and offered Sebastian a hand to help him up. Sebastian came out looking annoyed and shivering slightly.
"Sean's in trouble, Sean's in trouble," Alex and Angel chanted.
"Apologize to Sebastian," Erik demanded of Sean.
Sean rolled his eyes and said, "Human Sebastian, will you accept my apology for letting you fall in the pond?"
"Let him fall? You totally pushed him," Alex exclaimed as Angel made noises of agreement.
Sebastian's jaw was chattering too much for him to be able to speak clearly. "It's f-f-f-fine." It was late in the afternoon in the early spring, and the temperature was dropping quickly.
Erik felt his natural protectiveness, usually directed towards his siblings, extend itself to the drenched boy standing in front of him. "We're going to Hank's," he snapped. Giant, blue-furred Hank had a cozy home he had dug out of the soft earth, so it was mostly underground and stayed warmer than the outside. The fairies would often stay at Hank’s when the weather was not conducive to sleeping outside in the tree, where they usually slept.
Angel and Sean flew ahead while Alex ran with them. Erik walked next to Sebastian, and after a moment, awkwardly put his wing up and around Sebastian enough to provide a little shelter from the chilly wind. Even though Sebastian was older, he and Erik were about the same height, Erik noticed. He wasn’t sure why he did notice. As a winged creature who spent most of his time in the air, his relative height was of very little concern to him, usually.
Sebastian didn't say anything, but he moved closer into Erik as they walked, seeking out his heat. Erik was shirtless, or he would have offered his shirt to Sebastian. Erik wore soft breeches but in the summer he rarely wore shirts - being cold was not much of a problem for the fae folk, unless it was extremely cold.
They got to Hank's just as the sun was setting. The fairies had let Hank know they were coming, and Hank had a blanket and a pot of tea ready when Erik and Sebastian walked up.
"Oh dear," said the beast, frowning at Sebastian. "A human."
"A human who is freezing to death, thanks to Sean," Erik snapped defensively.
Beast blinked at him and then looked back at Erik, who was wearing his most beseeching expression. Hank sighed after a moment. "Very well, come inside."
Erik gestured for Sebastian to enter the round door first, and Sebastian did, hesitantly, looking up at Hank warily. Hank had a roaring fire built and since the ceiling was not quite tall enough for Sebastian to stand, he sank down gratefully into the pile of furs next to the fire.
Erik entered carefully behind Sebastian. It was hard for him to enter Hank's hobbit home because of how much space his wings and horns took up, but it was possible if he was careful. This close to the fire the small space necessitated that the only place for him to be, though, was right behind Sebastian on his side, slightly curled around the sitting boy.
Hank didn't comment as he passed Sebastian a cup of tea. Sebastian murmured "Thank you," as he took it, and Erik was happy to see him shivering less.
The three of them sat inside silently, Hank reading a book over wire-rimmed glasses, Erik just watching the fire, on his side with his head propped up on his arm, and Sebastian struggling to stay awake. Erik had thought his siblings might try and squeeze inside the burrow home, too, but he could hear them outside, whooping and playing.
Sebastian drooped against him, as he nodded off, and then straightened with a jerk. "Sorry," he muttered.
"It's fine," Erik said, not sure why Sebastian was apologizing. Erik usually slept in a pile with his brothers and sister.
In fact, Erik was feeling a little tired himself. "You can lie down, if you want," he told Sebastian. "I'm going to fall asleep soon too, I think."
"But..." Sebastian's objection died on his lips as drowsiness took over and he reluctantly lay on his side, fitting himself inside the curl of Erik’s body. Erik moved one of his wings over both of them for warmth and Sebastian sighed and snuggled closer. Erik fell asleep to the not-entirely-unpleasant smell of pond-wet human hair.
**
Sebastian visited more frequently over the next few years. He took to bringing little gifts from his people, the humans in the village: small leather pouches, human food items, a wooden spoon, a tiny knife. Erik wasn't really interested in getting gifts, but Angel, Sean, and Alex were, and they eagerly looked forward to his visits and would bicker over the things Sebastian brought them.
Despite the fact that Erik declined to keep any gifts, it was obvious that Erik was the reason Sebastian kept returning; the young human was drawn to the oldest fairy brother. Sebastian touched and smiled at Erik frequently and Erik found himself filled with a peculiar kind of tension when he did so--a not unpleasant feeling. It made him want...something else, something more, from the older boy, even though he wasn’t sure exactly what that was. Unfortunately, Sebastian also had a temper, and as often as he could be generous and affectionate he could be also be rude and cruel. He always apologized, though, and then he would bring gifts to Erik’s fairy siblings, and Erik would inevitably forgive him.
Most of the times that Sebastian was unpleasant to Erik it had to do with the fact that Sebastian wanted desperately to fly. He watched Erik and his siblings with veiled and sometimes outright envy. Erik tried, more than once, to lift Sebastian into the air with him by embracing the (now shorter) young man from behind and flapping his wings for all he was worth--but Erik simply could not generate the strength required to lift them both off the ground. Sebastian seemed to think it was something he did on purpose, no matter how much Erik protested that it wasn’t.
One day when Erik was sixteen, he had reluctantly agreed after much pleading from Sebastian to try flying with him again. Erik wrapped his arms around Sebastian and realized just how firm the other man felt against him--how had he not noticed that before? Erik felt the beginnings of an erection as he strained to lift the other boy and he immediately pushed the human away, his face red.
“You’re not even going to try now?” Sebastian said angrily. “Fine, fine, I--” Sebastian stopped, dead silent, his eyes staring at Erik’s crotch. Erik knew what he had seen and was mortified. He took a step back and stumbled awkwardly, almost falling, before he turned away and leaped into the air and flew strongly back to the tree that he spent most of his time in when he wasn’t doing other things, his long hair flowing behind him. He heard Sebastian calling him but his face burned and he kept flying.
It was three weeks before Erik saw Sebastian again, and even then he only reluctantly came out of his tree after Alex pushed him.
“Hi,” said Sebastian. He swallowed nervously and shifted from foot to foot, his cheeks pinker than usual. “I brought you something.”
“You know I don’t want your gifts,” Erik said, and then immediately wanted to take the words back, feeling they were too harsh. “I mean...you didn’t have to bring me anything.”
“Well, Angel and Alex and Sean are too young for this,” Sebastian said, with a slight smile. He held up a leather bag of liquid. “Although, technically, you are too.”
“I’m an adult,” Erik protested.
Sebastian frowned. “You are? I thought you were sixteen.”
“Well, yes, but that’s adult in Genosha.”
“Oh.” Sebastian took a cautious step towards Erik, who was in fact still considering bolting. “That’s good, then. You can drink this.” He held out the skin.
Curiosity overcame the memory of his recent embarrassment and Erik took the skin from Sebastian and sniffed cautiously. It smelled tangy and alcoholic. “What is it?”
“Wine.” Sebastian took the skin back with a grin and squirted some into his mouth. “Have you ever had any?”
Erik shook his head. He’d heard of wine, but mead was a more common alcoholic beverage among the fae folk, and he’d only tasted mead a couple times. He accepted the skin back and tentatively squirted some of the burgundy liquid into his mouth the way Sebastian did, and almost immediately choked at the strong flavor. About half the wine flew out of his mouth.
Sebastian laughed, not unkindly, and looked at Erik with affection. He stepped close to Erik and used his sleeve to wipe some wine off Erik’s chin. Erik barely breathed as Sebastian stood close to him, the young human’s smile slowly fading as a different expression took over his face. “I was thinking…” he trailed off, his eyes roving down Erik’s chin to his shoulders and of course to his wings. “I was thinking we could try some things. If you want.”
Erik heart rate sped up. “What kind of things?”
Sebastian shrugged and reached out to stroke Erik’s wing absent-mindedly. “Maybe things that will help…” he shook his head and looked Erik with a suggestive smile. “Are there any--things--you would like to do?”
Erik stared at Sebastian, his mouth dry. He didn’t know how to answer that--didn’t know what he wanted. He noticed he was still holding the wine skin and he squirted a healthy amount into his mouth and managed to catch it all that time, since he then knew what flavor to expect.
**
An hour later found the two young men sitting around a fire, both drunk. Erik's siblings had been herded off to bed hours earlier, and Sebastian had suggested that he and Erik should make a fire a good distance away from the copse of trees where his siblings slept. Erik was laughing about something ridiculous -- maybe it was Sebastian’s impression of a man he called Old King Frost -- when he found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss Sebastian.
“What are you thinking about?” Sebastian said softly, his laughter fading out.
Erik chewed on his bottom lip. “I wish you could fly with me,” he said finally, regretfully. He knew it was like stoking the fire to talk about that, but it was the first thing he could think of that wasn’t what he had actually been thinking.
But Sebastian seemed pleased with his answer. “I’ve been thinking that maybe you need the right motivation,” Sebastian said, boldly moving to sit right next to Erik on the rock Erik was sitting on. “To have the strength to lift me, I mean.”
Erik’s mouth had gone dry again, but his mind was also spinning from the wine. “Motivation,” he repeated, not sure exactly what Sebastian was getting at and not wanting to betray his ignorance.
“Is there something that would--motivate you, Erik?” Sebastian put a hand on Erik’s knee. Erik looked at the hand on him and tried to find words that would fit the context of the conversation - even though he wasn’t entirely sure what that context was.
“My parents used to say that love is the most powerful motivation there is,” said Erik after a moment, and then immediately felt his cheeks flame, realizing how childish that sounded.
Sebastian looked surprised, but he smothered it quickly. “Oh? Yes, yes of course. I--” he hesitated. “I can do that.”
“You can do what?” Erik asked, confused, his head buzzing.
“You said--you want love,” Sebastian said softly. It was half a question and half a statement. He moved so he was kneeling in front of Erik. “I can do that. I can--” his face brightened, like he had just realized, or thought of, something. “I can prove it to you. I can give you True Love’s Kiss.”
Erik felt all the blood in his body rush to his head. He stared at Sebastian’s lips and nodded, not trusting his voice. He leaned forward slightly and closed his eyes as Sebastian’s lips met his.
It was--awkward. Not that Erik had ever kissed anyone before, but even given that and the fact that he was drunk, Sebastian’s kissing technique could only be described as “trying too hard.”
Erik pulled back when he had taken as much as he could stand and Sebastian pulled back quickly too, seeming relieved. “There,” he said breathlessly. “Love.”
Erik tried to understand what was happening. Was Sebastian in love with him?
“How do you feel?” Sebastian whispered.
“Dizzy,” Erik replied honestly.
“Yes, that’s love,” Sebastian said with authority that made Erik snort, even as drunk and confused as he was. Sebastian pulled his face back from Erik’s and stroked his cheek. “But do you feel stronger?”
Erik saw where this was going. “Strong enough to carry you while I fly, you mean.”
Sebastian’s breathing changed, just a little. “Yes.”
Erik stood up and immediately sat back down again. The second time he was able to stand up and stay up, although he did sway a bit. “Let’s find out.”
Sebastian grinned, a wide beautiful expression that made Erik want to forgive him for the terrible kiss. He turned around facing away from Erik and pulled Erik’s arms under his and wrapped them up over his shoulders. “Ready. My...love.”
Erik believed. This time it would work. He launched himself off the ground with a powerful push of his legs, and then they were soaring--
No, they weren’t. They had fallen over in a heap and Sebastian was cursing at him and pushing at him to get off him. Erik rolled off and Sebastian rolled with him, aiming a punch at Erik’s jaw. Erik saw stars and his head snapped up and back and he choked out, “Sebastian, what--” as another punch slammed his head into the rock the two of them had been sitting on. The world went black around the edges of Erik’s vision, but he did barely manage to hold on to his consciousness.
“Gods, I can’t believe I actually kissed you, you--you--fairy, and it didn’t fucking work.” Sebastian grasped Erik by the horns on his head and pulled their faces close together. He spoke angrily to Erik’s dazed countenance. “Why wouldn’t you just fly with me? Gods, Erik, that’s all I ever wanted. All this ‘love’ bullshit...a human can’t love a fairy, you fool. But, you know what, fuck you. Fuck all this wasted time. If I can’t fly...you can’t fly.” Sebastian dropped Erik’s head and it struck the rock again, this time hard enough that he did pass out.
**
Erik woke at dawn lying on his stomach and knew immediately that something was very, very wrong. He thought he remembered the night before, but after Sebastian had hit him, everything was blurry except for the memory of intense pain. He had a splitting headache and he was cold, and he never felt cold. He also felt lighter, and there was an unusual ache coming from his back, and he couldn’t feel his---
Erik rolled in a way he shouldn’t have been able to, his heart thudding in a panic. Maybe he was still asleep. Maybe this was the worst nightmare he’d ever had. He couldn’t even bring himself to think the words that part of him had realized immediately were true: his wings were gone.
Erik stood up and tried to unfold his wings, to stretch them, to reach for the wind that would carry him up and away from this agony, but his body’s only response was shooting pain from the bloody stumps high on his back.
He fell to his knees and a primal scream ripped out of him. He could barely begin to wrap his mind around the enormity of what had he had lost--what had been taken from him. His body continued to react even as his mind dissociated from what was happening physically - he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes as he sobbed loudly, unashamed of who might hear, thinking nothing but this can’t be happening.
He cried until he had no tears left, until only the occasional dry sob wracked his body. He felt everything had left with his tears: all possible joy, anything that had motivated him in life. He lay in the dirt as the sun rose higher in the sky, unable to find a reason to do anything else. The wounds on his back itched and he was vaguely aware of a raven circling above him, probably waiting for him to die so it could eat his carcass. Erik's siblings approached him after a while, terrified, and he snarled at them wordlessly until they left in fear. He knew they were going to get Hank and he forced himself to crawl away and roll under a bush. He didn't want to be found; he didn't want to have to explain his shame.
When Hank and his siblings came back for him, Erik made no noise, and the dirt he was covered in from crawling and rolling under the bush effectively obscured his appearance and his scent so that even though they spent several hours looking for him, they could not find him. Around sunset they all headed back to Hank's home, obviously distressed.
Erik didn't care. He couldn't bear seeing them pity him now that he was crippled. He didn't care if he lived at all. He let the night come, invisible to all creatures except that same Raven, which landed a few feet away from him and cocked its head at him like it saw him. He growled at it and it cawed loudly and then flew away.
The sun came up again, and Erik moved only enough to relieve himself and then rolled a few feet away. He was filthy, his formerly beautiful long hair covered in grit and twigs. His lips were cracked and parched. He wondered how long it would take him to die of dehydration.
He was dozing, nigh delirious, in the early afternoon when something dropped on his face. Erik squinted and jerked his head the side instinctively and the thing slid to the side. Erik opened his eyes and tried to force his eyes to focus and recognize the blurry pale purple globes.
Grapes. A bunch of grapes.
Erik stared, and looked up. There was no one there but that raven, circling above him. It landed a few feet away and cocked its head at him.
Erik still wanted to die, but his throat was parched and the grapes looked plump and irresistible. He stretched a cramped, protesting arm to grasp the fruit and put three in his mouth. He almost choked on the burst of liquid flavor.
The raven cawed loudly.
"I hope you don't expect me to thank you," Erik muttered. His voice was raw and rusty. As far as he was concerned his life had only been extended by another day or two. He finished the grapes and glared at the raven.
**
The next day, it was a fish that landed on his face. He snarled and threw it at the black blur circling above him. "Leave me alone!" he yelled. He looked for the raven but didn't see it. He thought that perhaps he had actually hit the bird and felt both a grim satisfaction and a stab of guilt at the thought.
Erik stayed in his bush but awake the rest of that day, looking for the raven. His annoyance with the bird sparked white-hot within him, an odd relief from the physical and emotional pain Sebastian had put him through.
The next day, he was awakened by a dead field mouse being dropped on his face.
Erik saw red. "That's it," he snarled, leaping to his feet. He was going to kill that fucking raven.
He saw it, flying ahead of him, heading east towards the rising sun. He set off after it, angry and determined until the thought of how fast he would catch it if he had his wings crossed his mind. Erik stumbled and almost fell as he felt like he got punched in the gut by a combination of hurt, betrayal, shame, and pain. He slowed and was almost stopped again when he saw the raven flutter almost within arm's reach. He leaped for it, unconsciously trying to take flight--
And found himself splashing into a pond, the water about waist-deep. The same pond, in fact, into which Sean had pushed Sebastian almost four years previously. Erik screamed with fury at the raven which was still flying above him, now cawing loudly. Anger at everything filled him. His pain, his shame, and Sebastian's betrayal became swallowed up by a white-hot current of emotion--anger that the raven had spearheaded.
Erik stayed in the water, his eyes tracking the bird. The shock of the cold water and the realization that there was a choice other than pain, apathy, and eventual death stilled his tongue. He breathed heavily and wondered if he was going crazy, ascribing motivations to a dumb animal, or if the raven really was interfering with his life as much as he assumed. He wondered if he should be thanking it instead of pursuing it. He wondered why it had taken the prodding of the raven for his pain and misery over what Sebastian had done to him to become anger.
As Erik contemplated the black bird, while having this epiphany, and he saw a net fly over the raven and drag it down out of his sight. The bird squawked loudly and indignantly and Erik couldn't see what was happening to it. He froze as he heard a gravelly male voice and his heart thudded even as his mind processed not Sebastian.
"Gonna eat well tonight," he heard clearly, along with some muttering about eating crow. Trepidation shot through Erik as he scrambled to the bank of the pond. He crept on his belly towards the squawking bird and saw a burly hunter with a odd hair configuration approaching the raven with a knife.
In a panic, without thought of why or how, Erik lashed out with the only weapon he had--magic. He had a vague idea to change the raven into something that would scare the hunter away, but as the magic arced out of his fingers he realized it was way too strong and he felt his stomach clench in anxiety that he might have just killed the raven. Although--wasn't that what he had been trying to do just a few minutes before?
The hunter stopped approaching the animal under the net abruptly. "What the hell..." he breathed, as a grime-covered human woman crouched in the net.
"What the fuck?" she screamed.
The hunter took a step back in alarm. "Where did--how--"
"He did this, didn't he? That selfish bastard." She stood up. She was so utterly filthy, it was impossible to tell if she was wearing clothing or not.
The hunter was slowly shaking his head. "Look, lady, I don't know how the hell you got under that net, but--"
"You put me here, you drooling imbecile," the raven-woman snapped, throwing the net off distractedly and glaring around her at the bushes. "I know he's here somewhere."
"...I did? How--who--"
"Get out of here," Raven screamed at the hunter. "Didn't anyone ever tell you it was bad luck to eat crow? Don't try it again!"
The hunter took a step backwards and scowled at her, stalking off and clearly trying to make it look like it was his idea in the first place.
Erik watched from the bushes. He was oddly relieved he hadn't killed the raven, yet was also smugly pleased at how annoyed she seemed to be about the whole situation.
"Erik. You've had your fun. Come out." She seemed less angry now, and a little bit scared. Good, thought Erik. He stayed put.
She waited for some response, and when there was none, after a minute she sighed. "You know I was just trying to keep you alive."
Erik contemplated that and realized it was true, and that the raven didn't deserve to be stuck in an unfamiliar form merely for that crime.
But without his wings to focus his magic, he might really hurt her this time if he tried to change her again.
Erik struggled with the dilemma and decided that he couldn't attempt to change her back without warning her of the potential risks, in case she decided it wasn't worth it. And he also couldn't just slink off and leave her without an explanation; he felt that he owed her more than that.
He rose from his crouching position and approached her slowly. She heard a twig break and spun around to see him behind her. She exhaled carefully. "I think the field mouse may have been a bit much," she admitted.
"You think?" Erik said dryly, crossing his arms.
Her eyes narrowed. "Did it justify--this?" she said, spreading her arms to indicate her human body.
"This just saved your life," Erik pointed out.
She rolled her eyes. "If you say so. I would have gotten away."
Erik gave her a disbelieving look.
She sighed. "Just change me back?"
Erik grimaced. "I--I don't know if I can. I don't have good--control." Erik didn't want to explain about his wings and how they helped focus his power. Not now, while the wound was literally still too raw.
"Well, I--" Raven suddenly turned back into a raven again. She squawked in surprise and abruptly she was human again, but her face was shining.
"It's me!" she crowed. "I can change shapes! I can pick what shape I want to be and, bam, then I am." She was grinning wide.
"You're welcome," Erik said casually.
"Oh, I..." Raven looked at Erik thoughtfully. "I guess I really should thank you. So, uh, maybe now we can call it even? I mean with all the delicious dead animals I threw at you?"
Erik frowned. "I don't think that makes us even."
Raven was frowning then, too. "Well, what do you expect from me?"
Erik contemplated this, and realized there was a way she could be useful to him. "Serve me."
Raven stared at him for about five seconds and then burst out laughing. "Good luck with that," she said.
Erik set his jaw and turned his back on her, ready to go back into the undergrowth.
"Erik, wait," the woman said. "I--I'm not going to serve you, because that's ridiculous, but...you don't have to leave."
Erik slowed but did not stop. The raven-woman followed him as he picked through the shrubbery. "What did you mean by serve you, anyway?" she said after a few minutes. "You don't seem the type to want a servant."
"How do you know what type I am," Erik snapped irritably. His comment had the additional goal of deflecting her question. He knew what he wanted from her, but he couldn't talk about it. Not yet.
"I saw what happened, you know," so said softly after a few more minutes of following him as he went--where? He didn't know where he was going. He didn't have anyplace to be. Erik's jaw tightened and he started to walk faster.
"What that human did--" Raven started and then stopped with wide eyes and Erik turned around with his teeth bared ferociously, grasping her throat in his hand.
"Don't!" he snarled, spittle flying from his mouth as he stood facing her, breathing hard. She swallowed and wisely did not respond. Erik looked her in the eye but looked away before the fear and shock in her eyes at his reaction could turn to pity. He abruptly released her throat and let his arms dangle at his side. She watched him warily.
"I want you to be my wings," he said finally. He knew he should probably explain more but he couldn't.
She cocked her head as she studied him, evoking her bird form, eyes curious and assessing. After a moment she gave him a curt nod.
Erik turned to continue walking and realized they had reached what had been his subconscious destination all along: the tree that hid Sebastian's secret path back to his castle. His body clenched with rage but instead of howling and thrashing as he wanted to, he only gritted his teeth and waited for the waves of anger to cool.
Raven just stood a little ways behind him, still in human form, watching him. "I need to know where he is," Erik said. The words felt like they had been ripped out of him. But Raven just nodded and changed into her original form and took flight towards the east, towards Westchester.
Erik thought about leaving, about hiding from the Raven, about crawling back under a bush to die. But the desperate, sick curiosity about what in the world Sebastian could be doing after he destroyed Erik's life kept him nearby, waiting to hear what she found out.
**
"Really, you're going to have to start getting your own food."
Erik awoke with a start. It was well after dark and Raven was back and standing over him. She was much cleaner and wearing a human dress. She had a bag with her too, which she was rummaging in.
Erik rubbed his eyes blearily as she presented him with a small loaf of bread. He accepted it, puzzled, and looked at her again. "You went to the village?"
She shrugged, taking a loaf for herself out of the bag and plopping down next to Erik. "I was curious. Their food is good." She bit off a hunk of bread and spoke around it. "I had to walk back instead of fly because I had this bag - that's why it took me so long."
Erik didn't comment, crouched and eating his bread. He waited for her to say more but she didn't. Finally he cleared his throat. "Did you see--him?"
She didn't respond for a moment, and he couldn't see her face in the darkness, so he said sharply, "Raven."
"I saw him," she said quietly. "He was at the castle. The talk...they are saying that he killed a fierce beast in Genosha, and brought back a trophy. And he is courting King Frost's daughter, Emma, and he is expected to be chosen as the King's successor."
With every word she said, Erik felt himself shrinking. He was nothing, a bug, a gnat, and Sebastian was going to be fucking king.
Raven chanced a glance at Erik. "I also brought mead," she said, almost apologetically.
Erik held his hand out for the container without looking at her. As he drank it, he realized the warmth in his stomach might be from more than just the mead. Despite that it stung to hear how well Sebastian was doing, at least now Erik felt like he had an ally in Raven.
**
Days turned into weeks turned into months and Erik did not feel any need to return to his family. It's not that he didn't care about them, but the longer he stayed away the guiltier he felt for staying away and he rationalized that they were almost out of childhood and anyway they had Hank. Instead, Erik learned how to live as a land-bound creature. He did not use his magic much because he could not control it, although when he was angry sometimes things got fried or cursed. Erik became a meat-eater like humans and Raven, hunting fish and small game with a spear he had made. Most fairy folk did not eat meat, preferring to eats nuts and roots and fruits, but Erik found that he enjoyed the challenge of hunting.
He found that a part of him enjoyed the killing part, even.
Raven didn't comment on his continued absence from his family or his newfound pleasure in hunting. She spent quite a lot of time in her bird form, but also would keep him company in a human form. She frequently flew to the castle and spied on Sebastian for him; Erik heard that Sebastian Shaw was betrothed to Emma Frost, and then heard about their wedding, and then how the passing of old King Frost led to Shaw being crowned king of Westchester.
Every bit of news hardened Erik. Any affection he'd had for Sebastian had long since dried and blackened inside him, leaving only pain and a barely-contained rage. However, the cold anger running through him then made his magic easier to focus, even if he did sometimes overshoot his mark.
News of the White Queen's pregnancy gave him the fuel to take down a tree. News of the child's birth and he was able to kill all the plant life in his immediate vicinity. When he heard from Raven that his fairy siblings had been invited to a party in the child's honor, though, he lost a little bit of focus.
"Why would he invite them?" He snarled at the bird-woman, after he nearly cursed her accidentally. "Have they all remained--friends?" He said the last word with a curled lip and a bitter tone. Humans and fairies hadn’t been friendly for hundreds of years; to think that someone like Sebastian was responsible for improving relations between the races was repulsive to Erik.
"That’s what I gather, “ Raven said carefully. “Or, maybe they just wanted blessings for their son.” The curse she had narrowly avoided had caught a frog instead, which had promptly swelled up and exploded. She had good reason to be cautious of Erik. "They seem to believe fairy magic can protect him."
Erik snorted. "Fat lot of good it did me." He paced. He was angry, in a hot way he hadn't felt in a long time, because at the core of it was hurt and the oh-so-childish pain of feeling snubbed. He could hardly blame his siblings for remaining friendly with Sebastian when he’d never told them what the man did, but Erik had expected loyalty from them anyway. And, he couldn't tolerate this from Sebastian any longer without doing something about it. He had been idly listening to Raven's reports for over a year without taking any action, without sending any kind of message to Shaw to tell him that Erik was alive, that Erik fucking mattered and--
It wasn't until it registered in Erik's mind that Raven had transformed into some armored animal like an armadillo that Erik realized he was muttering while he paced like a madman. He slowed down and tried to focus his thoughts before they got away from him again and he inadvertently blew something else up. "I'm going to that party," he told Raven suddenly. "I will have my revenge on Shaw by cursing his child."
Raven transformed back into a human and looked at him doubtfully. "A baby? It's not the baby's fault," she said reasonably, but Erik just growled at her.
Raven knew him well enough by now to know that Erik usually took her words into account, even if it didn't first appear that way. At least, she hoped he did.
It also occurred to her that she might be able to leverage this into accomplishing something else she'd been hoping Erik would do something about: his appearance. In the year or so since he had lost his wings, Erik had stopped grooming himself. His hair was long and wild, hanging in dirty dreadlocks around his horns, and his beard was nearly as bad. He only wore breeches as clothing, and those were torn and tattered and utterly filthy. Not to mention the smell.
Raven thought carefully about how to phrase her words. "You know, Erik, if you are going to go to this party, you should make a strong appearance. Don't let Shaw know--" Raven hesitated, not sure how to finish that sentence without enraging Erik.
"I intend to make a strong appearance," Erik said, frowning. "By cursing his baby, as I said."
"No, I know, I mean..." Raven tried to think like Erik. "You have to appear like a party guest, or they will throw you out immediately, before you can get a chance to put your curse on the baby." Raven hoped the baby wouldn't explode.
Erik appeared to be mulling it over. Raven tried to make her point delicately. "The better you look, the worse he is going to feel," she finally said.
Erik's green eyes snapped to her face and he stared at her intently as he contemplated her words. A few expressions flitted across his face before he said, almost reluctantly, "What did you have in mind?"
Raven beamed.
**
Raven found there was a lot she liked about the humans in the village. Not only did they have the delicious bread and cheese foods, and mead to calm Erik down, but she had found that human men were very willing to please her when she was in her human form - after she had cleaned up, anyway. That was what made her think that Erik would be in a better position with humans if he was cleaned up, too, and even if he didn't intend to befriend any humans it seemed like it wouldn't hurt for him to look a little more -- well, human.
She had been around enough humans to know some of the clothing styles and she shamelessly stole some pieces that she thought would suit him. She also stole a very sharp knife as she was determined to give him a haircut and take off his facial hair too. Last but not least, she stole some soap and brought it to where he was waiting at the pond.
Although he was obviously doubtful and uncomfortable with it, Erik followed Raven's directions to clean himself and he let her cut his hair and even shave his face, although his cheek muscle twitched with tension a couple times.
When he was done and dried, standing naked in front of Raven, she felt her mouth go dry. By human standards, which Raven found herself sharing more and more, he was...very attractive. She all but threw the clothing she had stolen at him and quickly walked to where he wasn't in her line of sight. "Put those on," she yelled over her shoulder.
Shaking his head at his friend's erratic behavior, Erik did his best to put the clothes on as they seemed to work. Raven came out then and adjusted a few things and took a step back to admire him.
"Well?" he said testily. He had never worn clothes like this: a waistcoat in a maroon brocade and a snug long leather coat over the top. His head felt cold, as he could not ever remember having short hair before. But if it made Sebastian take notice--
"Shaw is going to feel like shit," she said matter-of-factly, crossing her arms.
"Good."
**
To reach the castle, Erik used the old secret passageway hidden under the tree that Shaw had inadvertently told him about when they were children. Without his wings, he fit well enough, he noted with some bitterness, although he did have to do some careful maneuvering to make sure his horns didn’t get caught on anything. Raven accompanied him in her bird form, sometimes flapping ahead and sometime sitting on his shoulder as he carried a torch through the long underground tunnels that led to the castle.
When he finally reached a heavy wooden door, he pushed it open easily and found himself in a basement. He found stairs and went up, following the sounds of merriment that only hardened his heart.
When he arrived at the room in which the festivities were taking place, he hung back to take stock of the situation. Sebastian Shaw and his queen, Emma Frost, were seated side-by-side in thrones. They were both smiling and appeared happy. The baby's yellow bassinet was on a little pedestal to the side, sitting in--honestly--a ray of sunshine. Erik shook his head in disgust. He heard bickering and wasn't surprised (although he was disappointed) to see his siblings Alex, Angel, and Sean there. They were bowing and fawning before the king and queen when Erik walked in.
"We want to bless the prince, Your Majesties," Angel, said enthusiastically, curtseying deeply.
Alex nodded his agreement and Sean said "Yeah!"
The White queen smiled. "We welcome your blessings, fairies," she said. There was a quiet titter that went around the room at that and Erik got the distinct impression that that "fairy" was a word most commonly used as a derogative by the humans. He kept his rage in check, for the time being.
Alex approached the bassinet first. "Young Prince Charles, I bless you with a life of joy," he said, somewhat awkwardly. "May you ever be happy." Erik wondered when and how his siblings had learned to use their fairy magic for such things. Did Hank teach them? Or were they bluffing? He saw the red spark as Alex leaned down to kiss the baby's forehead and realized that Alex was using real magic, and it would be unwise of Erik to use any magic that contradicted the blessings his siblings were casting. He would have to see what they came up with and improvise.
Angel was next. She fluttered over to the baby and said, "Young Prince Charles, I bless you with beauty--I mean handsomeness," she amended quickly as King Shaw frowned briefly. It was no dishonor to call a male beautiful among the fae folk, but as Erik had so painfully learned, humans had different and odd customs. There was a green spark as Angel kissed the baby's forehead.
Sean was next. He was not even into his teens yet, Erik reflected, feeling a stab of guilt as the young fairy walked nervously up to the bassinet. He whispered something to Alex and was pushed in response. "Young Prince Charles, I bless you with car--ker--well, everybody's gonna like you," he stammered, blushing. He ignored Angel's hissed "Charisma!" as he went to kiss Charles on the forehead, resulting in a orange spark.
As the three fairies withdrew, King Shaw stood to speak. "We are very pleased with the gifts and bless--" he froze as Erik took three steps forward, into a clearing in the crowd. The king visibly flushed and swallowed.
Erik, in contrast, was pleased to find that he did not have a physical reaction. He eyed the king with cool green eyes and glanced with raised eyebrows at the queen and assembled nobles. "Oh, are you waiting for me?" he said calmly to Shaw. "That's a little surprising, seeing as how I did not get an invitation."
"Erik!" Alex said. He and his younger siblings were staring at Erik in shock. He ignored them.
"I, did, however, come prepared to bestow a blessing upon your young son," Erik continued, in a casual tone, and then adopted an expression of false regret. "Well--not so much a blessing, actually."
"No," whispered the queen. Shaw held out a hand to silence her and his mouth tightened as he faced Erik.
"Do your worst, fairy," Shaw said contemptuously.
Shaw obviously thought his magic had been taken with his wings. Erik's anger flared but he was careful not to let it show. He walked towards the bassinet and stood close to it, close enough that the queen leapt to her feet and had to be held back by Shaw.
"Young Prince Charles," Erik said in a syrupy-sweet voice, leaning over the crib so his breath wafted over the infant's face and his horns cast a shadow. "You will be happy, handsome, and well-loved, yes. But on your eighteenth birthday you will be struck by an arrow, and it will send you into a deep sleep. You will not awaken until you receive True Love's Kiss." Erik spoke the last sentence standing straight up, making unwavering eye contact with Sebastian Shaw. Erik was sadistically pleased to see the king flinch on the last three words.
"Guards!" yelled Shaw. Erik reached his hand and touched the child. Everyone froze.
"This curse is unbreakable," Erik said loudly, looking around, daring anyone to come closer. He focused all his pain and anger on willing his curse to be so and purple lightning arched out of his hands towards the bassinet and wrapped around it. The baby's thin cry arose in the room as a strong wind ran through the castle ballroom and blew out all but a few of the torches. Erik felt the air crackling around him and he felt swollen and magnificent with power. Shaw's henchmen were afraid to touch him, and he grinned at them all as he bowed insultingly low and dramatically exited.
He walked right out the front castle gates; nobody followed or stopped him. He was very pleased with how the confrontation had gone, and looked around for Raven. She was flying high above him, circling.
"Raven," he called. She flew lower. "Did you see that?" he asked, with a grin. "I think it went well. We're not even being followed."
She assumed human form next to him. "I think you scare me," she whispered with a shiver.
He snorted. "I didn't hurt the child."
"No, I guess, but..." she trailed off. "I didn't really think you'd do it. Curse the prince, I mean."
"I told you I was going to," Erik said, annoyed for some reason he couldn't pinpoint. "Go see what they are planning to do about it," he said to Raven dismissively. She immediately assumed bird form and took flight. She didn't usually follow direct orders like that, but it seemed that she was just as happy not to be in his presence at that moment.
It was well after dark and Erik was back to his usual stomping grounds in Genosha when Raven returned. "Lots of news," she said excitedly, switching to human form. Erik was relieved she seemed to have forgotten or forgiven being upset with him earlier.
"The king has ordered all arrows in the land to be gathered and burned," she said breathlessly. Erik nodded. No less than he had been expecting, and he internally congratulated himself on thinking of such a thing; arrows were the most accurate projectile weapon the humans had. "Also, he is sending the prince away to be raised by--" Raven paused dramatically. "The three fairies who blessed him today."
"What?" Erik was confused and not a little angry. "Alex, Angel, and Sean? They are not even grown, and barely able to take care of themselves!"
Raven shrugged. "The king seems to think the baby will be safer with them. The queen does not agree, and she is in hysterics. But the infant has already left with your siblings. They are supposed to bring him back the day after he turns eighteen."
Erik was pacing. He did not like this, not at all, for reasons he couldn't exactly put his finger on. "Where are they going?" he snapped at Raven.
She rolled her eyes. "Calm down, would you? I knew you would ask that, so I followed them. They have gone to this dilapidated cabin, remote, still in Westchester but near the border with Genosha."
"Take me there," he said imperiously. Raven rolled her eyes again.
"It's a long walk," she warned, but resignedly switched to her bird form and started showing him the way.
**
It was nearly dawn by the time they arrived, and Erik knew they were getting close when he heard a baby crying. He gestured to Raven to get a closer look while he hung back at the tree line.
"They're all asleep, with pillows covering their heads," she reported back, clearly upset. "The baby stinks, he needs his diaper changed, and he is a mess - it looks like they tried to feed him chocolate? And leaves? What the fuck?"
Erik seethed at the incompetence of his siblings even as he asked himself why it mattered. He had nothing to gain by coddling the infant. He walked closer to the cabin and saw the bassinet through the window, and could not resist creeping closer to see the baby. The baby stopped crying abruptly as soon as it saw his face and its tear-covered face broke into a delighted grin. Erik scowled at it, which only made it giggle.
"You're ugly and I don't like you," Erik told the baby. The baby either didn't care or didn't believe him, because it continued smiling and gurgling until it became fascinated with its own foot waving in the air and an expression of utter astonishment crossed its face.
Erik swallowed back the immediate swell of adoration that he felt for the baby. That's Sean's blessing working on me, he thought. He would have to keep away from the baby if he wanted to keep his perspective. Fine. He could do that.
Erik walked away and out of the line of sight of Prince Charles, and the baby immediately began wailing again. "Raven," Erik said in exasperation, "can you do something about that?"
Raven had already gathered the supplies to change his diaper. "Duh," she said, rolling her eyes.
After the baby was changed, Raven mashed some banana and fed that to him as well. Erik observed through the window, from outside. No need to kill the little beast, after all. The baby was just falling asleep in her arms when Angel stirred. Raven gently put Charles back into his crib and turned into a raven again and flew up to the rafters just as Angel sleepily stumbled into the baby's room.
"See, I told you he'd shut up eventually," she yelled to Alex, who threw a book at her. The baby, fortunately, slept on.