Work Text:
Kieren stared at the interior of Amy’s bungalow for just about three seconds until he decided that he would absolutely spend most of his nights painting every little detail that existed in it. Every piece of lace and every dry flower would be put into acryl, black lead, aquarelle and charcoal.
And then the masterpiece stepped out. A man dressed in a moss green turtleneck entered from a room, face pale, eyes so ridiculously blue and dark hair sloppily slicked back. Seeming older, he was nevertheless so masterly beautiful that Kieren had to drop his eyes to the floor for one second, lips parting a bit.
“Simon! Good, good. You need to meet Kieren! He is my most amazing friend and even though he seems all depressive and stuff, he is oh so much fun. Kieren Walker, this is my future husband Simon!” Amy started babbling in such a high speed that it almost made him loose his balance, being so focused on the man.
The person himself stared at Kieren for a while, eyebrows raised and mouth twitching into an amused form of a smile. Feeling self-conscious, Kieren mustered up some courage and shoved his hand into his back pocket, nonchalance seeming like the best option to go with.
“You never said that I’d been replaced”, he glanced at Amy, voice dramatically sad and betrayed.
“Oh, I would never! But you wouldn’t expect me to wait for you for three years?” the girl laughed brightly and pulled Kieren in for another one of her famous Dyer-Hugs. “God, it is so good to have you back Kieren Walker!”
Simon gave him a small nod and a calculating smile. “Ah yes, pleasure to meet you.”
“You to”, Kieren answered with a high-pitched noise which resulted in him blushing furiously.
And then, everything wasn’t that lovely. A man showed up from the room that Simon had left, dressed in boxers and a t-shirt, blonde hair mushed. He seemed to have just woken up and let a hand trail down Simon’s arm, an action which very much reminded him of Rick.
“Yeah, I’ll be right back”, Simon whispered and the blond gave him a cheeky smile before slipping into the bedroom once more. “Sorry, Amy- I’ll be going. John’s reading something by Oscar Wilde at the club tonight and he wants to practice.”
He retreated into the room and Kieren let his eyes roam over him, fascination being built up in his mind. The feeling of brilliant interest was beating in his chest and his fingers itched for a brush, in need of painting something just to get those emotions out.
“Isn’t he just lovely? I’m planning on an Irish wedding, just to surprise him. Well then, you amazing fairy boy, what have you been up to that is was so important to leave your best girl here in Roarton?”
Love. Fucking, painful love. Rick. A Rick who was now laying in the ground, body cold and dreams never fulfilled.
xxx
The paper bird was all too pretty not to paint. Amy had decided that it looked morgeous in a wooden cage, hanging by the large painting of her (a gift from Kieren) and he had to agree. Sweeping the brush over the thick paper, he desperately tried to bring out that feeling of enthusiasm that so often used to burn inside of him when he painted.
It had been half a week and his insomnia was getting worse at this place that he hadn’t called home in a long time. He spent his days with his parents and Jem or with Amy. They didn’t often walk around in the village, preferring the outskirts, the fields and the cemetery where they visited Amy’s grandmother. Bill Macy had moved away since a long time ago, but running into Gary or someone else was not pleasant, and Kieren wanted to avoid every thought of Rick; he had only recently been able to come back to this place that he had once called home.
The door opened after a minute of trying to fit in keys and a person entered, obviously not noticing Kieren. It was four in the morning and he stiffened, pulling the red polka-dot blanket that he was covered in closer to his body, building some sort of shield.
Simon (for it was Simon) shut the door and closed his eyes for a moment, not even bothering to take of his coat. Of what Kieren could see (which was a darker shade that was Simon’s silhouette), he seemed highly exhausted.
“Not sleeping, are we?” Kieren heard himself speak up and the man, not even shocked, entered the living room and sat down in one of the yellow armchairs. A ray of dim light shone on his face and Kieren gazed at him from his spot on the floor, draping the blanket closer.
“O soothest Sleep! If it so please thee, close in midst of this thine hymn my willing eyes”, the voice from the person in the chair said and Kieren bit his lip, glanced down at the paper bird that was painted on a page and then up at the man once more. Poets. His fingers itched once more and knowing what he wanted to do more than anything at the moment, he spoke.
“Can I draw you?”
Simon’s eyes widened and a broad smile crept onto his face, chin resting on the fingertips of his hands. “Oh please do”, he said with an airy voice, staring at Kieren with fascination in his eyes. Kieren felt his stomach flutter for just a moment before he reminded himself to stop it. This man was obviously occupied and older, and he was acting like a ridiculous child.
“Euhm, can you sit still for just a moment?”
He pulled out a new paper, furrowing his brow, trying to see the contours enough in the dark. Kieren let his eyes roam over the man’s face, hand sketching loosely. And enthusiasm grabbed him, he was back in his element, having found the perfect thing to paint.
Simon’s eyes were given a greyish tone in the light, everything about him a bit quieter. Kieren sketched his contours first, biting his lip in concentration. His eyebrows furrowed and he dropped the blanket. The lips were the hardest part. They seemed to be pointing down, but at the same time they looked constantly amused. His eyes skimmed around them, focusing on the small dip in the middle of the lower lip, his mind blank except for the one that he wanted to bite it. Just bite.
Simon turned his head to see why the pencil had stopped brushing and Kieren immediately looked down again, trying to breathe properly. He blurred the shadows with his index finger, the silence only disturbed by the sound of them changing positions.
“Could you, um?” Kieren lifted a shaky hand and positioned it loosely under Simon’s chin, turning his head a bit. The only reaction was Simon letting out a small breath, as if he had just entered the cold. He turned around to face Kieren, expression confused and eyes glazed. His skin was soft and Kieren felt like his fingertips were made of pure ice.
Two persons sat in a room and the only space between them was made out of a decimetre filled with heated breaths.
And then, Kieren plunged into his death. His lips caught Simon’s and the grip on his chin harshened. The older man responded quickly, pulling Kieren closer, opening his mouth a bit to let him enter. Warmth spread through his body, and his hands shook as the slid up Simon’s face. Simon sank to the floor, pulling Kieren in between his legs and left his lips to silently nibble his neck. The younger one breathed out a sigh that seemed to add to Simon’s excitement, for he bit down slowly, sucking gently on the sensible skin. He trailed a pattern up with his mouth, sloppily meeting the lips once more.
And god, it was over too soon. Kieren opened his eyes, cheeks red and neck blossoming with bruises. Simon stared down at him as in awe and then looked away for a small second. He dragged two fingers by the side of the painting before turning to Kieren once more.
“Beautiful”, he breathed, and Kieren didn’t know if he meant the painting or the boy in front of him. It didn’t really matter.
xxx
That man, John, stood in the door, hair neat and glossy, and Kieren felt like he was about to be sick. It was later that morning and Simon was still asleep, having parted with Kieren four hours ago, proposing that they went to sleep. Kieren had actually for once managed to fall asleep, and he could still feel the marks on his necks pounding behind the turtleneck that he had borrowed from Amy (who had told him that Simon wouldn’t care).
“Hello. Is Simon Monroe here?” the man named John asked, one hand in a huge pocket and the other one falling ball his side.
Kieren just nodded, head aching and heart racing as he turned around to enter Simon’s room. The reality of what he had done finally caught up with him. He had kissed a taken man. He had kissed someone. He had kissed a person that wasn’t Rick. But he didn’t feel like he was betraying his former boyfriend, only the person that stood outside the bungalow, hoping to meet this amazing man that…..was currently drooling all over his pillow.
Oh dear, that was actually so hilariously adorable. Simon’s hair was mushed and he lay on his stomach, only wearing boxers (Kieren’s pants suddenly felt a bit tighter), arms flung out and mouth a bit open.
Kieren cleared his throat and poked the man a bit. Simon proceeded to pull him closer, lazily grabbing Kieren’s arm and tugging him towards the bed.
“Simon!” he wheezed and the person in the bed blinked tiredly.
“Kieren?” He suddenly got a bit more awake, still not letting go of Kieren, just started to brush his fingertips down the boy’s hand.
Kieren bit his tongue harshly, trying to remind himself of what he had to do. Not that he didn’t want to jump into the bed of this gorgeous man and start making out with him, but he couldn’t. Simon shouldn’t.
“John is waiting for you”, he said instead, not being able to keep the bitterness from his voice and left the room before a confused-looking Simon could react.
xxx
Stupidity. Naivety. That was what Kieren felt. He was aching with want, but his mind was sending him huge, blinking warning signals. He could not and would not throw himself into this chaos. If he had to repeat a relationship where one left, he would go utterly mad.
“Are ya coming?” Amy bounced in front of him, dressed in an indigo skirt and knitted vest.
Confused, Kieren blinked and stared up at his friend from his spot on the couch. “It’s eleven in the evening. Where should we go?”
She huffed and crossed her arms. “Silly, you. Simon is arranging tonight’s performance at the club.”
Kieren’s mind was blank until small pieces of memory began to recollect. Right, Simon had mentioned something about that, but he had been too busy staring at his lips to actually listen.
Amy raised her eyebrows and gave him an innocent smile. “Simon would certainly want you there”, she smiled and then left the room. “Hurry up, lazy; we’ll be late!”
Kieren could feel his eyes widen and blood rushed to his cheeks at the innuendo. God, she hadn’t noticed anything had she? Ridiculous question, of course she had. They were BDFFs. Best Darling Friends Forever.
Quite excited at the thught of seeing spotlights on Simon and his mouth forming word after word of beauty, Kieren knew that the fluttering feeling in his stomach wasn’t a good sign.
xxx
And then he started speaking. It was a different language from song or conversation. Everything Simon said stayed in the air for a few seconds, floating. Kieren sat in awe, covered by the shadows that were playing in the back of the club, fingers pulling his top lip to focus.
“I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain -- and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.”
Here Simon stopped and raised his eyes from the small book that he was holding and turned towards Kieren. A small smile grazed his lips and there was tenderness mixed with curiosity that had Kieren in a messy puddle of heat.
“I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
A luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.”
Simon was something completely beautiful, a ghost, a mythical creature, he was a poem in human form. Kieren remembered the sketch that he had made of the man and knew that it did not give him credit. This was where Simon Monroe belonged, soul alive and eyes glowing. And the pain was too much to take.
Kieren rose slowly and tried to make a quiet exit. The second he stepped out of the warm club, the night air did everything to calm his rapidly beating heart. It did not help. He was drowning in Simon and his breath was caught in his throat, not being able to make it to the lungs for they were made by sheer glass.
“Kier!” a cry from behind had him turning around, only to see Simon, cheeks a bit red from running. Kieren flexed his fingers and stared at the ground before he felt soft fingers under his right eye.
“Why did you leave?” he murmured softly and Kieren shrugged, lifting his head a bit to meet the man’s gaze. They were close to each other, to fucking close.
Simon dipped his head down, trying to capture his lips, but Kieren pulled away, hands shaking.
“I-i-i can’t, Simon.”
The man looked so confused, like a lost puppy, lips parted and brow furrowed.
He hurried to continue. “Not that I don’t want to”, he said, words choking on his tongue. “But..John.”
“What about John?”
“You are dating… right?”
Simon stared at him for a short moment before cracking a smile, letting his hand slide down Kieren’s neck and land on his shoulder. He pulled him closer and Kieren noticed the small height difference.
“God no, we’re not. Kieren, I just saw you and I thought ‘God has actually let angels walk the earth’. John and I, we have never, we are good friends….but we have never…done…that”, he stumbled when speaking as if nervous. “You didn’t really think that I would’ve have kissed you if…”
Kieren stopped him right there by standing on his toes and clumsily pushing his lips towards Simon’s. The man immediately responded, rather eagerly and something in Kieren just felt complete when he felt the warmth of Simon’s mouth and tongue.
For once, he actually felt at peace and more. He felt heat and passion and fire, and it was all consuming him. Pressing his chest towards Simon’s, toes starting to hurt, he could feel the other man’s hand wander down his back, pressing him closer by the lumbar.
Simon Monroe was everything he needed.