Work Text:
Newt was in Thomas' dreams every night. The pain in Newt's eyes haunted him. The way he'll never get another chance to tell Newt he loves him. He begged to whatever God he didn't believe in for just one more kiss, one more touch, one more word, one more glance, one more anything. Just one more.
//Baby, why'd you leave me Why'd you have to go?\\
Thomas pleaded with the voice in his head to, please, just for once, shut up. They were a constant reminder that he was the one who had pulled the trigger. Thomas was the one that had killed his lover. He should've forced Newt to go with him, but no. Of course, he didn't. He could've tried harder. Told Newt how much he loved him. But, Thomas never knew just how much pain there would be.
/I was counting on forever Now I'll never know\\
There was an ache in his heart. Never letting him forget it. Newt, the only one he could ever remember caring this much about, was gone. And Thomas had taken his life.
//I can't even breathe\\
There had to be some way out -of course! They'd had a few knives when they jumped through to 'Paradise' just in case anything ever happened. It's not like anybody would even notice he was gone - nobody had bothered to even ask if he was okay. Even Minho had gone off with Brenda and completely ignored Thomas. For all Minho and the rest knew, Newt was a living crank. They didn't know what Thomas knew.
//It's like I'm looking from a distance Standing in the background\\
Thomas quietly got up and walked to where he knew they kept the knives. He looked at all the options. They had from pocket knives to machetes. First, Thomas found a pen and paper to write a note, in case, for some reason, anybody came in here. He wrote:
Xx
Minho, I'm sorry for never telling you. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Newt is dead. I killed him. He was suffering because he had the Flare. I don't care if you blame me. I blame myself. I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend to you. I loved Newt, and still do. Now, we can be together. Forever and always. He's on my mind every second of every day. All I can think about is how much I love him. It's for the best.
Love you like a brother. Thomas.
Xx
Thomas looked down at the tear soaked paper. This is it. He's really going to do this. He will be with Newt forever. They will be together peacefully. In separable. Nobody can ever hurt either of them again. Ever.
//Everybody's saying
He's not coming home now\\
Thomas grabs the biggest weapon he could find and whispers, "I'm sorry. I love you Newt," before driving it straight through his heart.
//This can't be happening to me\\
An angelic face with big brown eyes and long blonde hair steps into view.
"Thomas?"
//This is just
A dream\\