Chapter Text
To most people dying alone sounded terrible, but to Jiang Cheng he much preferred it. He had seen death up close too many times, and each one of them stuck with him. He didn’t wish that burden on anyone else, especially not his nephew.
Jin Ling was unconsolable as he cradled his uncle in his arms. Tears and mucus leaked down his face. He screamed and begged and wailed as Zidian curled around his finger. Jiang Cheng couldn’t feel the spiritual energy being pushed into him by the surrounding cultivators. He couldn’t feel anything but regret.
He wanted to wipe away the tears from Jin Ling’s face and tell him to stop his blubbering. He wanted to tell his darling nephew how proud he was and how much he loved him. But he could barely stay conscious. He managed one last soft look, but this seemed to upset Jin Ling more, and then everything went black
He thought he heard someone familiar calling his name. It took him some time to realize that the voice belonged to his sister.
Warmth filled him as he believed that somehow he was being reunited with her in the afterlife. He thought that his sister would have drank the soup and been reincarnated by now, but perhaps the gods had granted them one speck of kindness before the siblings entered the wheel of reincarnation together.
He opened his eyes and found his sister standing next to him as he laid in bed. She wore flowing purple silks, and her most beautiful accessory, her smile. He briefly noted that he was in his childhood bedroom. Jiang Yanli appeared younger than he remembered, but more than a decade had passed without her. Memories were fragile things. Seeing her once again alive and flushed with life brought tears to his eyes.
“A-jie!” He called out as he pulled her into a hug. His voice sounded strange, but he didn’t care as he took in every detail about his sister that time had stolen from him. She smelled of lotus flowers, spices, and something inherently her. She was all soft edges except for her bony shoulder blades, and her hair felt like silk.
Delicate hands soothed his back until he stopped crying into her stomach. When Jiang Cheng pulled away he felt guilty for putting the worried expression on his sister’s face.
“A-Cheng, what’s wrong?”
He frowned and wondered why his sister didn't think he'd cry at their reunion. Did she not know how much he missed her?
Before he could say anything, the door opened to reveal the last person Jiang Cheng expected to see.
“What’s going on? Why is Jiang Cheng crying?”
It was Wei Wuxian. But not just any Wei Wuxian. It was the Wei Wuxian that flitted through his memories like a ghost. It was the carefree boy he grew up with, Jiang sect bell still hanging from his belt.
“A-Xian, you know you shouldn’t barge into a young woman’s room without warning,” Jiang Yanli lightly scolded Wei Wuxian, but most of her attention was on her little sister’s panicking face.
Jiang Cheng was confused. What was Wei Wuxian doing there? Why did he have his old body back? Why was everyone a teenager again? Why did his sister call his room a young woman’s room?
“Sorry shijie, I was just really worried.”
“If you aren’t feeling well A-Cheng, then maybe you should delay your lessons at the Cloud Recesses. I’m sure our parents would understand.” Jiang Cheng’s mind raced as he put together the information laid out in front of him.
It seemed that this was the morning before Wei Wuxian and him departed for the Cloud Recesses. Perhaps this was a dream or a delusion of a dying man. Either way he needed some space from his worried siblings.
“No, I’m fine. I just had a bad dream. Just give me a little time to get ready.”
He faltered slightly as he noticed his voice was much higher pitched and foreign to his ears.
Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian didn’t seem fully convinced, but they agreed. Wei Wuxian told him to hurry up, otherwise they would be late for breakfast.
When he was finally alone, Jiang Cheng took a few calming breaths and steeled himself. Even if this were a dream or a delusion, he wouldn’t break down.
He had to hold his hands to his mouth to muffle the scream at the sight of his reflection. Staring back at him was the face of a young girl. She had his mother’s features and his father’s large, blue grey eyes.
Hesitantly he touched the face reflected in the mirror. He looked down and his hands shook as his once flat chest was now soft and curved. He pinched his arm. Pain flared and he bit his lip. Perhaps this wasn’t a dream.
“Fuck,” he muttered as he quickly changed clothes. Thankfully the Jiang sect disciple robes were familiar. He didn’t know how he’d handle putting on delicate flowing silks at that moment. “Fuck,” he said as he tied his hair back in his typical bun. “Fuck!” He exclaimed as he took one last look at his strange body, both familiar and alien.
At least his clarity bell and Sandu were comforting in his hands. His finger felt light and naked without Zidian's comforting weight.
Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian were both waiting in the hallway, trying their best to appear casual and unworried. Both zeroed in on his head.
Wei Wuxian walked over and mussed up his hair. “You look too severe. I know the Lan sect is known for their ridiculous number of rules, but there’s no need to match them.”
“Stop it!” Jiang Cheng squawked as he tried to fend off Wei Wuxian’s hands. His new body was much shorter than Wei Wuxian’s, and he did not appreciate the role reversal.
Jiang Yanli stepped in before they could escalate. “How about I do A-Cheng’s hair? It will be the last time I can for a while, and I will make sure that my meimei will stun all of the other sect disciples.” Jiang Cheng blushed, but how could he turn down his sister’s soothing hands and sweet request? It had been decades since she had done his hair, and he refused to take anything for granted. He nodded and nimble fingers started carting through his hair.
“Ah, our meimei could make the fish forget how to swim even if her hair was cut above her ears,” Wei Wuxian teased, but his eyes reflected recollections from personal experience.
Jiang Cheng only noticed the teasing tone. He may not really be a young maiden, but he wouldn’t allow Wei Wuxian to insult this body.
He scowled and said, “Who are you calling your meimei?”
Wei Wuxian’s strange smile shifted into a much more familiar one. “Yes, be sure to scowl at all those wretched boys. That and your sharp tongue is your first defense against them.”
“Shut up, Wei Wuxian. You’re making no sense.” Jiang Cheng could feel his sister’s muffled laughter behind him.
Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes. “You’re so naive, shimei, but don’t worry about it, your Xian-ge will help you fend off your unwanted suitors.”
“Like I need your help.” Even if Jiang Cheng managed to gain a single suitor, he was the master of scaring them off. Every matchmaker he ever met could attest to that.
Wei Wuxian decided to drop the issue. “I still think it’s unfair that men and women are separated at the Cloud Recesses. Shouldn’t all disciples have the same learning experience? What will I do without my shimei beside me at all times?”
Jiang Cheng recalled all of the hours Wei Wuxian spent copying the rules, and all of the times Wei Wuxian had ditched him for Lan Wangji. It was decades later and the memory still left a bad taste in his mouth.
“You’ll manage.” The words came out sharper than he wanted. They sounded hurt.
“Aw, meimei, don’t pout. I promise you that I’ll sneak over and see you when I can. And we can always explore the grounds or go to Caiyi Town together.”
Jiang Cheng already knew this was a promise Wei Wuxian wouldn’t keep. One of many.
“All done,” Jiang Yanli announced. She moved to admire her work while Jiang Cheng attempted to figure out what his hair looked like through touch. From what he could tell, he still had a bun, but it was enclosed in a braid, with half of his hair still cascading down his back. It was tied with his purple ribbon, but there were a few hair pins he recognized as his sister’s.
“A-jie, you shouldn’t have given me your pins.”
“A-Cheng, I want you to have them for now. That way you’ll have something of mine with you, and you can return them when you both come home.” Jiang Cheng could never say no to his sister.
“It looks great, as expected from shijie.” Wei Wuxian nodded sagely.
Before another argument could break out between them, Jiang Yanli pushed them to the breakfast they were nearly late to.
Jiang Cheng froze as he entered the room where his parents were already waiting inside. They looked just how he remembered them (he tried not to remember them on the day of the massacre, or in the aftermath). His father’s mild expression and tight eyes, only softened by the appearance of Wei Wuxian and his eldest daughter. His mother’s stern face and piercing gaze.
After decades of wrestling with his emotions over them and lamenting how their actions permanently affected him, he mostly felt exhaustion. He missed them. He always missed and loved them, but they had never made it easy.
He barely noticed anything that was said as they ate. The voices oscillated like a once forgotten melody, the lyrics blurred into the emotion of the music.
“ A-Cheng .” That specific sound shocked him from his reverie. It could have been a hundred reincarnation cycles later and he would still freeze at the sound of his mother’s sharp call.
“Yes, A-niang?”
His family’s eyes stared at him with varying looks of concern. He was surprised to see it on his father’s face, but it mostly looked like disappointment.
“You better not be so inattentive at the Cloud Recesses. You are there to represent the Jiang sect as the heir, and I will not have you bring shame upon your sect.” Yu Ziyuan’s words cut like a knife.
Jiang Cheng noted that he was still the sect heir. There had never been a female Jiang sect leader, so he would have to be the first. The golden core in his new body matched the one he had as a teen. It felt much weaker than the one he died with, but it was still respectable for his current age. “I apologize, A-niang.”
He knew there was no point in elaborating, his mother would see any explanation as an excuse.
A wave of frustration flowed over him. He spent years attempting to live up to his parent’s high standards, and now he was back to square one. They once again knew him as a brash youth chasing after his shixiong. Everything he had ever created or mastered was gone.
It was a relief to finish breakfast and depart for Gusu. He would miss his sister, and lamented parting with her so soon, but he already knew she would send a lot of letters until he returned.
The journey was easy, and he did his best to act normal as Wei Wuxian chattered on. They were welcomed into the Cloud Recesses, and promptly separated. Wei Wuxian whispered in his ear that he’d drop by soon, but Jiang Cheng knew that Wei Wuxian would meet Lan Wangji that night and soon forget about his ‘shimei.’
That suited Jiang Cheng fine, he needed to start planning.
As he entered the women’s side of the Cloud Recesses he felt uncomfortable. He had only met a couple of female Lan cultivators in his previous life, and knew he didn’t really belong with them. There were no other female Jiang sect disciples that year, so he would be on his own.
He decided that he would work hard and keep his head down. He didn’t need to make any new friends, and Wei Wuxian would inevitably introduce him to Nie Huaisang.
The female guest disciple room was identical to the one he stayed in as a male guest disciple. There were less female guest disciples in general, and some of the rooms remained empty.
Classes wouldn’t start until the next day, so he took the time to strengthen his new body. With respect to the sect housing him, he started planning while in a handstand.
He decided there was no point in changing what happened while he studied at the Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian should go on his misadventures and eventually get sent home early. Jiang Cheng would only intervene when he had to.
Wen Ruohan needed to die. As did Wen Xu, Wen Chao, Wen Zhuliu, and Wang Lingjiao. Jiang Cheng would admit that Wang Lingjiao didn’t necessarily need to die, but his lingering bloodlust called for her head. If he killed Wen Chao before the man met Wang Lingjiao, then he supposed that horrid woman would live to see another day.
After that he needed to mitigate the actions of Jin Guangshan, Jin Guangyao, and Su She. He couldn’t allow the siege of the Lotus Pier, and he wanted to avoid the burning of the Cloud Recesses. Hopefully this would limit Jin Guangshan’s power, but the man disgusted Jiang Cheng. Killing him remained a possibility.
Wen Ruohan was a powerful man. There was no way Jiang Cheng in his current body could stand a chance against him in combat, not to mention the countless Wen disciples. It went against every Jiang sect teaching, as well as the rules governing cultivation, but Jiang Cheng would have to stage an assasination.
Poison seemed like his best option. It was easier to sneak in unnoticed. The Lan sect was known for their healers, though none were as talented and creative as Wen Qing. Jiang Cheng would feign interest in the medicine and maybe even try to gain access to the Lan Room of Forbidden Books.
With his first goal set, he tested out the limits of his new body. His upper body strength had greatly diminished, his lower body strength less so. He was now more flexible, and after a little bit of practice with his lower center of gravity, he was now more balanced and stable in his practice drills. He was slightly slower, but this was mostly due to the lack of muscle memory.
With this in mind, he set himself a rigorous training program. He might be hallucinating, but he refused to watch his family die again. It might be a futile fight, but he would do everything in his power to gain control.
Breakfast was a quiet affair in the Cloud Recesses. There was no talking during meal times, and the guest disciples were still unused to the early wake-up time.
The first day of classes was uneventful. He followed along with each rule and jotted down notes of ones he had forgotten, or had misremembered the numbering of. When they reached actual material he found it to be incredibly easy.
There was no substitute for living and breathing cultivation for decades. What was introduced as theory, Jiang Cheng had long practiced.
The first step of his plan was to demonstrate his knowledge in measured increments. He didn’t want to stand out too much, but he did want to appear studious, trustworthy, and intelligent.
He answered a few questions that day and remained focused on the lesson he had long ago mastered. There were a few stares from the female disciples, but he ignored them.
Later that day he heard a few of the Jin disciples discussing Wei Wuxian. It appeared that his shixiong had once again upset Lan Qiren. Jiang Cheng would make sure Wei Wuxian never needed to test out his theories regarding resentful energy.
Jiang Cheng didn’t hear from his shixiong until the next day. A note had appeared in his room. It listed a meeting time and place.
As much as Jiang Cheng wanted to ignore the invitation, he knew that Wei Wuxian would see it as a challenge. He just needed to humor the boy until he inevitably ended up busy copying rules with Lan Wangji.
At the time of Jiang Cheng’s death, his relationship with Wei Wuxian was cordial and distant. He no longer felt burning anger when he saw his shixiong’s face, but it didn’t mean he wanted to put his heart or trust at the mercy of Wei Wuxian’s whims once again.
In a remote area of the Cloud Recesses sat a waiting Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang. Trees shaded the flat and wide rocks, and a stream could be heard in the distance. Nie Huaisang rose at the sight of Jiang Cheng, and he appropriately greeted the Jiang sect heir. Jiang Cheng returned the gesture.
Wei Wuxian remained sprawled out on his rock. “Meet my darling shimei, Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng, this is Nie Huaisang.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Second Lady Jiang. You are even more beautiful than the rumors state.” Jiang Cheng wrinkled his nose at the title and the compliment. He ignored Wei Wuxian's snickering.
Nie Huaisang seemed earnest, but Jiang Cheng suspected the man had always been more cunning than he acted.
“Please call me Jiang Wanyin.” Nie Huaisang nearly dropped his fan at the bold request.
Wei Wuxian finally sat up. “How unusual, my shimei must like you if she is already allowing you to call her by her name.” Jiang Cheng couldn’t read the expression on Wei Wuxian’s face, but it appeared displeased. Shouldn’t Wei Wuxian be happy that he was being friendly for once? This boy would one day become a formidable man, and Jiang Cheng needed him to be on his side.
Nie Huaisang started fanning his face with a nervous laugh. “Thank you, Jiang Wanyin. You can call me Nie Huaisang in return.”
Wei Wuxian started to ask Jiang Cheng how his classes were, and was mollified that so far their lessons were identical. Jiang Cheng realized that Nie Huaisang’s innocuous questions were a way of collecting gossip from the women’s side. Unfortunately for him, Jiang Cheng truly had little to share.
He did reveal that he heard about Wei Wuxian’s disastrous first day of class. He scolded his shixiong and rolled his eyes as Wei Wuxian seemed more proud than contrite.
The bell for dinner rang and Jiang Cheng gladly returned to the other side of the Cloud Recesses.