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The wail rends the night in two, agonized screaming slicing the dusk into a before and an after. Before, Jay is sleeping deeply, worn down to the bone by heavy repair work in the garage. After, consciousness slams into Jay like a bullet to the head, his heart jack-rabbiting in his chest as fear and adrenaline flood his veins. His eyes open to the peacefulness of his room, the honey-yellow glow of his night light casting everything in warm tones as the scream ends abruptly. Jay's ears ring in afterimage and he scrambles out of bed- he’s barely conscious enough to form thoughts, but what little he can come up with is a litany of curses as he fights the grip of his bed sheets until he falls to the floor in a tangled heap. Wiggling free, he stumbles to his feet and has the presence of mind to tug on a pair of pajama pants. Whatever they're facing be it a fire or a home invasion, Jay refuses to do it in his Starfarer themed boxer briefs. Shirtless and still half asleep, he throws open his door and goes careening out into the hall to find he’s late to the party.
Lloyd and Nya are at the end of the hallway next to Lloyd's bedroom door, both looking pale and frightened. Hand in hand, they lean into each other, and while Lloyd's eyes are dry, Nya is fighting tears. Jay blinks, waking up fully and he swings around to look down the hall. Kai is standing in the doorway of Zanes room with his right hand white-knuckling the frame, utterly still. Now that Jay's blood isn’t roaring in his ears, he can make out Zane’s voice, his words are muffled and strung together, syllables swallowing up each other as if he's pushing them out too quickly for them to have their space to breathe.
The familiar rumble of Cole's voice cuts into the near franticness of Zanes, and Jay approaches the room with one hand on the wall for support. The stillness of the hallway against the panic inside his room is like running into a wall of geallatin. Jay feels like the air is thick hard to tread through, uncertainty and fear taste like motor oil on the back of his tongue. At Kais shoulder, he peeks into the room.
The light from the hallway bounces off Pixals hair, silver strands reflecting it over the room in tiny star-like pinpricks of light nearly too soft to be seen. She’s got her back to Kai and Jay, her arms bent to press her hands over her mouth, and she’s shaking. Past her, on the floor next to Zane's bed, are Zane and Cole.
Bent over on his knees, Cole presses his lips to Zanes temple and shushes him softly, rocking back and forth. In his arms, Zane sobs. He’s clinging to Cole in a way that looks nearly painful- hands wound around his shoulders to fist at his sleep-shirt and face pressed bruisingly hard into his collarbone as he shakes. He’s splayed across the floor in an imitation of Jay earlier, legs tangled in his blanket and drawn up to his chest as much as physically possible. Cole cradles him close and supports the shaking and trembling parts of him, a solid presence that Zane's sobs break apart against. They're wound together so tight it's almost hard to see where they start and end, especially in the low light. There’s a slash of ice across the wall as if Zane had lashed out in his sleep, broken glass from his window glittering on the floor. Jay's mouth is painfully dry.
Now that he can see the full picture, now that he understands and his heart squeezes harshly in his chest, he can piece together what Zane is saying.
“I’m going to hurt you,” He repeats like a promise, but there’s no pride that lives there. It’s a gutted, agonized sort of confession when he says, “I’ll kill you, It's all I'm good for, I’ll kill everyone-” He tries to breathe but it catches raw and sharp in his chest and devolves into another set of painful sounding sobs.
“Shhh,” Cole soothes, powerful arms looped under Zane's armpits to support him. One hand scratches the base of his neck, catching on the short hair there, “It was just a dream. You were dreaming.”
This only seems to set him off more as he cries harder, “Go away,” He begs, “Leave me alone, I don’t want to hurt you. Go away.” But he still holds onto Cole like an anchor, seems to cling even tighter as if afraid Cole really will leave. Pressing a warm palm steady and firm over the nape of Zane's neck, Cole doesn’t even entertain the thought of letting go. Zane needs him. Zane needs help.
Cole looks up, turns to face them- Jay heart pings painfully again, a cold wash doused over his head. Cole is crying. He meets Jay's eye for a moment and he seems to consider something, but there was something damaged between them ever since that stupid soul mate detector fiasco, and he cuts his eyes away to look at Kai. They share a long moment before Cole jerks his head and Kai nods, reading him like Jay couldn't anymore, and spurring into action. He reaches out and takes Pixal's upper arm and she immediately turns into it, spinning around at his coaxing and burying her face in his chest. He wraps his arms around her and walks backwards, rubbing her back as he leads her out of the room in steady measured steps.
Close the door he mouths to Jay, and Jay takes one last look at the two huddled in the room before he clicks the door shut. Kai hugs Pixal tightly as she calms down, holding her until she stops shaking, until she moves away first. Though he looks calm, Jay can see the cracks beneath the surface. this has shaken him. It's shaken them all. Zane- Zane wasn't supposed to break.
but this had been a long time coming, jay knew. He wasn't the same after the Never Realm. Something had changed for the worse.
“Thank you,” Pixal whispers. She turns and stares hard and Zanes door again, her fingers bunching up Kais pajama top. Her face screws up in unreadable emotion.
“They don’t need an audience.” Kai says softly, placing his hands on top of hers. She clenches her eyes shut but conceeds, tearing her eyes away from the door and relaxing her iron grip on Kais T-shirt. Pixal took his change the hardest. she didn't see the snow, she did not understand the magnitude of what had occurred.
The silence is broken by muffled voices from the other side of the door. Cole and Zane talking quietly, desperation and fear and comfort leaden in their voices.
No one moves to go back to their room. With a sigh too tense to keep up his calm facade, Kai turns and walks down the hall. Pixal follows him, and Jay only looks away from Zane's door when Nyas hand lands on his elbow and tugs him along. He trails along absently, allowing her to sit him down in a chair at the table in the kitchen. It’s early enough that breakfast is a bit absurd but not out of the question, and Kai busys himself by pulling down the pancake mix and griddle. Nya seamlessly moves to help. Lloyd brings Jay a glass of water and sits next to him, sliding his chair closer so he can rest his head on Jay's shoulder. At the head of the table, Pixal is sitting with her head in her hands.
No one says anything at all.
Jay thinks about before this all happened, when he’d come into Zanes room and woken him from his nap. Zane had been scared then, too. He’d told Jay exactly what was going to happen, and Jay hadn’t listened, hadn’t even- when he blinks he sees Cole hugging Zane close, trying to reassure him, trying to ground him.
What did Jay do?
Nothing.
A stack of pancakes breaks his ruminating thoughts, the clink of the plate bringing him out of his head. He’s not hungry, but he eats anyway. This is the ninja way. He drowns it in syrup and uses a fork and a knife. Next to him, Lloyd tears his pancakes into pieces with his hands and dips them in the syrup. It is a silent, forlorn affair. A Pancake breakfast had never been so grave.
Dawn filters through the kitchen window and Jay's friend is broken. It’s a fact of the universe. Like the sun will rise, Zane will sacrifice himself and deal with unimaginable consequences. Like the sun will set, the ninja won’t be good enough, and Zane will pay the price. In Jay's failure, Zane will suffer.
He stands from the table. It's a screeching drag of his chair legs, the others stop to watch him, wondering what he’s about to do. He leaves, cutting through the kitchen into the courtyard, stalking out into the center while fighting tears. When he turns around he sees they’ve follow him, worried. He won’t fall apart.
He squats into a familiar stance, moving through the steps confidently, running his first training drill of the day.
“What are you doing?” Kai asks.
“It won’t happen again.” He says instead, “I’ll be stronger. I’ll protect him.” He jumps up and kicks, flipping backwards to land the move perfectly. He shifts into stance again.
He runs the move twice more before Kai steps onto the dirt and joins him. In the end, they all join him.
Cole and Zane skip breakfast.