Chapter Text
It had been a long time coming, so when Peggy was at last welcomed at the get together the agents had after work she found it difficult to pass up the offer when given. Mostly the agents spent the time drinking and complaining about wives and paperwork and other topics that, though unintentionally, excluded her. At least she liked to think it was unintentional.
She sat apart from them at the end of the bar, dipping her finger into her bourbon and tracing it around the lip of the glass. If anything, at least the music was nice and it drew her thoughts away from the present to another time; another bar.
"Dance with me, Carter."
The proposition was so abrupt and so unexpected whatever reply Peggy’s mind could have conjured short circuited somewhere between her throat and her lips, which parted as if waiting patiently for her to collect herself. Jack waited too.
"No… no." she managed, "I’m quite awful really."
She turned her eyes down to her nearly empty bourbon, suddenly desperate for another. She tried to catch the bartender’s attention as if that were the end of the matter, but Jack was undismayed.
"I don’t think I can believe that." Agent Thompson leaned his hand into the bar, cutting off any eye contact Peggy could have made to the bartender to rescue her. She straightened on her stool and met his gaze directly. He smiled half so smugly you’d think she had already agreed.
Arrogance suited him in a way that few men could boast. It was the same self-assurance that she suspected made women enjoy the company of men like Stark. However, it lacked that— indifference. For once it seemed he was looking at her like he was.. taking the time to see her.
His eyes make a quick trip up and down the length of her.
Too much time, then. Damn him.
"You probably just haven’t had the right partner."
Peggy’s heart seized and her knuckles turned white around her glass. She smiled stiffly, but said nothing. It was not until Jack pushed away from the bar and offered her his hand that she cleared her throat to speak.
"The song is too slow."
And your voice is too quiet, her mind snapped sharply. In truth she felt suddenly hoarse.
"Good. It will keep you from scuffing my shoes if you are as bad as you say."
Brazen, pigheaded, can’t-take-a-hint… Peggy was barely through her silent assessment of his various flaws before he had taken her hand and had half drawn her already from her seat. She barely had time to set her drink down.
It seemed childish to stop him now, especially when the other patrons politely cleared the way. A few couples seemed to think they had the right idea and joined them in the middle of the floor. He put her hand on his shoulder, which she moved to his upper arm. He put his own hand on her hip, which she moved to lower ribs.
At this point, he was silently laughing at her. His eyes sparkled with it. Peggy narrowed her own.
"Relax, Carter." he said, "I’ll behave myself."
The song was slow and the steps simple. Despite his assurance, she was as stiff as a board and had no notion of “relaxing” anytime soon.
"Forgive me if I think you not in earnest, Agent Thompson. I am not accustomed to the idea of two people who dislike one another dancing." she considered for a moment, "Not unless it ends with you unconscious in a cupboard somewhere at least."
"Woof." was Jack’s only response as he shook his head, chuckling to himself. He smelled faintly of whiskey and smoke. It was not entirely unpleasant.
"I like you just fine, Carter. Don’t know how you got the impression I didn’t." he said, and to Peggy’s annoyance, sounded genuinely confused. Did his attitude truly escape him so completely?
"I seem to recall a time not so long ago when you pointed a gun in my direction."
"That’s the job, Marge. It wasn’t personal."
"Or further back, when you seldom spoke to me unless it was to fetch you a sandwich or coffee."
Jack was sharing in her discomfort now, which served him right in her eyes. They danced in silence. Peggy noted she had subconsciously began squeezing his arm, her body rigid and ready to toss him across her shoulder at a moments notice. It was a reaction he often inspired in her.
"… you confuse them. I mean— what you do." Jack said carefully.
"What? Being a woman? Being an agent?"
"Both." Jack said, and then seemed to reconsider. The center of his brow was furrowed as he looked at her. She tried to look anywhere else but at him, her lips pressed into a thin line.
"No. Wait. Look, it’s… it’s the idea a woman wants to be an agent. To be in a man’s place”
"I don’t want to be a man, I want to be a woman who is an agent. How is that so hard to understand?”
"But that’s the problem, Peg- Carter."
She couldn’t help but laugh, a humorless sound.
"It isn’t my problem.”
It was then she tried to pull away. The song was still going, but she had certainly had enough of dancing. Jack’s hand slid down her waist as she moved back, but he did not let go.
"You’re right."
She stopped. He scoffed, but still managed to smile. It was that same smile he wore often when trying to speak “sense” into her back when she was struggling to find a place at all in this field.
"Don’t look so surprised, I told you before. It’s a shame, but it is true. None of them are going to see you as more than a woman…. and yeah, the fault is with us. Being an agent to us, it isn’t what women do. They are nurses and- and secretaries and waitresses. They like that and it suits them and you don’t fit that.”
Peggy didn’t respond, leaving him to search her face with quick glances to find any sort of reply there. Her throat felt tight and this time she did not stop her hand from gripping his roughly. He winced.
"I don’t fit." she repeated, her eyes sharp.
"That isn’t what I meant."
"It is what you said.”
Jack sighed and Peggy felt a sneer build behind her teeth, waiting for his inevitable patronizing.
"You do fit. That’s the thing. An agent is a man’s job in their minds— hell, sure in my mind too. But you fit.” he moved his hand back up to her side, “It suits you.”
Peggy noted they were gathering quite a bit of attention, standing tensely in the middle of the dance floor while the song kept playing. Peggy moved into step again and for a moment Jack seemed to have lost his ability to not trip over his own feet.
"Careful." he warned, but she ignored him and pushed forward.
"And are you the only one who thinks this?"
Jack was looking down at their feet now, not at her as he spoke, “No. Well— probably not. Sousa does. You don’t exactly come up in conversation that much, Carter. Sorry to disappoint.”
"If you think this way then why not lead by example? Why not confront it, rather than make excuses and—"
Jack laughed, “I’d love to lead, Carter. But you seem to have got that covered.”
It was then Peggy realized the reason the other couples were staring and for Jack’s sudden lack of grace. In her fervor, she had started leading the dance.
"Oh. Excuse me." Peggy mumbled, stopping and trying to work back into step.
He smiled so wide she was starting to think he had forgotten they were arguing a mere moment earlier.
"No need to apologize. I liked it."
That earned Jack a quirked brow. His smile fell as if he wished to pull the words back in.
"I mean— I meant when you snap your cap like that. Your face gets all red and..” he trailed off, realizing this was definitely not helping his situation.
"I do believe you are the one blushing, Agent." Peggy said, trying not to laugh… a little at least.
"Yeah well, don’t go spreading it around. I have a reputation to uphold."
Peggy’s face fell and with it her grip relaxed. He smiled as if it was a sign of progress, his arm curling in and pulling her closer. He was warm and some part of her wanted to let it go, but she just.. she just couldn’t.
"Yes… reputation. The All-American "by-the-book" Agent, reputation." Jack’s smile faded as she continued, "And am I right in supposing it is that same reputation that keeps you silent about your feelings regarding me? That I belong here? That I fit?”
That furrow came back into Jack’s brow and for once, he had nothing to say. The song began to taper out and the music picked up to a faster up-beat rhythm. This time when she pulled back, he let her go.
"Well. I suppose it would be foolish to expect anyone to risk that.”
"Carter—"
"Please. You’ve said quite enough. I am… glad you think well of me. It is something at least. Like you said, I am not in a position to hope for more." her voice was nearing sarcasm, but also sitting perfectly in the realm of disappointment.
Jack frowned deeply and Peggy knew if she let him, he’d argue further on what he “meant” versus what actually fell out of his mouth. There was no point in it. Even if Jack did speak out for her the way Sousa had in the past, more than likely he’d be as easily dismissed. Worse yet, they may decide his regard had been bought with indiscretion. Peggy had to face it, there were a million and one reasons for Jack to never once breathe word that he thought her capable.
Did she even truly want him to? Minds did not change when berated and beaten down; if they were, she’d have already done it. No… no as always, this was something she had to earn on her own.
Peggy tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and turned to look at a clock on the far wall. She did not even register the number on its face before excuses came to her mind.
"Well, it is late and I have few favors left at my current residence after the last debacle." she said over the music, "Good night, Agent Thompson."
She smiled, a cold and courteous thing. The corner of Jack’s mouth barely twitched in response.
"Right. Bright and early tomorrow."
Peggy gave a faint nod and set her eyes on the door to the far side of the bar. She was halfway there when he called out after her,
"And Carter, you take it black right?"
Peggy’s step hesitated for half a beat. She turned back enough to look at him.
"With cream, actually."
He made a disapproving face, but nodded and turned back to the other agents.
”G’night, Carter.” he said loudly with an air of expectation. A chorus of “good nights” quickly followed from the agents at the table along with quite a few “don’t let the bed bugs bite” and one “I’d be ready to sleep too after a dance with this guy!”. That last outburst brought on another chorus, this time of laughter.
Half a block later, Peggy could not quite figure out why it made her smile.