Chapter Text
~*~
Prologue
Filtering through murky layers of old Energy, a young voice floated down the decades of silence.
“What’s that noise?”
In the black depths of the Jedi Temple on Yavin 4, primeval power stirred and bristled from sleep. Glowing yellow eyes flickered slowly open from the dank bowels of their solitude.
“What...is that…noise?”
As one, the distorted faces of bereft Mothers turned upwards. A child of the Force. Was it possible that she heard them? That their mourning reached sentient ears?
“ Make it…stop.”
The Mothers shuffled with tortuously slow movements, forming the sacred circle. The long-subdued pain began to flow in hesitant murmurs that became chants and, finally, cries to the Dark for justice. A golden globe of glowing light formed in the center of the circle, hated and reviled. The Mothers hissed.
But they had conjured it and this time, it would be theirs. From a union of joined power, the ancient stone at the base of the Temple cracked releasing tendrils of the bright light.
At last. At long last, the Jedi heard…and the Jedi would suffer.
Chapter 1
(Three years after "Jakku Sunset")
Ben Solo walked slowly between the young Jedi students as they batted their little beginner lightsabers against little low-powered bolts from floating training remotes. Having reached his full adult height at the age of twenty-two, he towered over them; but he never hesitated to drop to his knees to give individual guidance.
“Very good, everyone,” he announced. “Sabers down.”
The children powered-down their sabers and placed them carefully on the ground as he made his way to the front of the clearing. This area, surrounded by forest trees and covered in soft grass, was his favorite place to train the little ones. Not only did they respond to the living Force around them, but stray bolts would not harm the solid, ancient trees…unlike the draperies in the Temple that his apprentice had set on fire, more than once.
The children were facing him with eager smiles when he turned back to them. He didn’t teach many group classes now that he had a dedicated pupil, but he loved teaching the little ones and had petitioned his Uncle Luke to allow him to continue with the promise that it would not interfere with training.
“All right!” He raised his voice and ten sets of eyes focused on him. “As you know, next week is a visitation week and your families will be here. You’re all doing very well with your forms, but I want you to practice extra hard for the demonstrations for your families, okay?”
“Yes, Master Ben!” they chimed in unison.
Ben grinned at them. “Dismissed!”
The children formed two neat lines to walk to the next class, their excited voices floating back to him as they disappeared into the trees.
Gathering the training remotes, Ben sank to the ground to de-power each of them until the next session. He heard a familiar huff and looked up to see Rey, his twelve-year-old apprentice, stomping across the clearing toward him.
Plopping into a seated position just in front of him, she speared him with a pointed stare. “Have you had sex?” she asked bluntly.
He dropped the training remote and it stung him. “Ow – what??”
Her hazel eyes were wide and her gaze unyielding. “Have you. Had sex?”
“Rey…” he shifted uncomfortably. “That’s um,” he could feel his ears growing warm. “That’s a…uh…very personal question. I don’t think - ”
“UUGGGHHHH!!!” Rey flopped dramatically onto her back in the grass. “I’m so sick of hearing about sex!” she shouted to the tree tops. “It’s all anyone talks about now in the dorms! Who’s doing it with who and who do I want to do it with and have I done it yet and - ”
“Rey!” he broke in. “Is someone trying to get you to have sex?” The last word came out as a squeak and a primal protection welled within him as he imagined himself thwarting whoever would dare to proposition her. “You’re twelve!”
Rey waved her hand dismissively at him. “Nooooo, Ben, no one is trying to make me have sex. It’s just…” Covering her face with her hands, she growled in frustration. “I mean…it’s just...suddenly it’s like it’s the most important thing in the world and all the older kids are talking about it constantly and I don’t know what to say! When do I know when I’m old enough?”
Ben scratched his chin and swept his hand through his wavy hair. “I - ”
“And kissing! Sweet stars, every single time I turn around everyone is kissing!” With a final groan, Rey sat up and faced him again. This time, her expression was troubled - pleading, even - as she silently implored him for an answer.
“Um…” Ben looked around, hoping for some type of distraction to come to the rescue. “Well…” he turned back to her, nervously running his hand through his hair again and worrying his lower lip with his teeth. “Rey, that’s -” he started haltingly. “That’s something that’s different for everyone. And you’re the only one who will know if - when - you’re ready, and…” His voice trailed off until a realization struck him.
“You know what this is?” he asked decidedly.
“What?”
“This!” he grinned triumphantly, holding up his index finger, “is an Aunt Mara conversation!”
“Beeeeeeennnnn,” she whined.
“Nope! Aunt Mara conversation.”
“So, you won’t tell me anything?”
“Aunt Mara conversation.”
“Even about kissing? Have you kissed?”
“That - ”
“Cannot be an Aunt Mara conversation,” she countered. “Because if you’re talking to Aunt Mara about who you’re kissing, that’s just gross.”
With an exaggerated groan, Rey flopped back onto the ground, arms and legs splayed in four different directions. Frustration and annoyance roiled out of her through the Force fueled by the brain scrambling that came with emerging teenage hormones. He was no expert, but instinct told him that she needed to get out of her own head.
“UP!” Ben rose to his feet with the remotes in his arms. “You are supposed to run the training course this afternoon.”
Rey pointed to the clouds overhead. “It’s about to rain!”
“It’s the short course and you like rain,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Not when it makes things all slippery!”
“All the better to practice your balance.”
With a resigned sigh, Rey threw him a final glance and took off jogging toward the path. Ben grinned, watching her go. She’d come a long way in the three years he’d been training her. When he’d first met her, she’d been a scrappy 9-year-old that Aunt Mara, Uncle Luke’s wife, had rescued from a scavenger’s life on the desert planet of Jakku. She’d had an inexplicable power in the Force and an equally puzzling inability to control it.
Through means neither of them understood, he was bonded to her in the Force, apparently, since her birth. She had been born into a Dyad with him that baffled even the most learned Masters at the Jedi Academy.
Thunder rolled above and Ben studied the darkening sky. Thunderstorms were not uncommon on Yavin and they could be fierce. Rey usually flew through the short course, though, and she’d make it back before the rains hit.
Ben was securing the last training remote in the storage hut when a sudden gust of wind blew a large tree branch against the wall, shaking the whole structure. Stepping outside, Ben was pelted with a wall of rain blowing in hard from the north. It was so dense; he could barely see the trees ahead.
“Rey!” he called out, the wind whipping the word from his mouth. She was nowhere to be seen.
Reaching for their bond, he stretched out to the Force and saw a flash of a deep ravine that was three klicks away. What the hell was she doing there?
Blinding lightning struck the top of a nearby tree and Ben took off at a run toward the ravine. The rain stung his face as he thrashed through the branches, half-blind in the gray haze of the deluge. Rey’s fear pounded him in time with her rising heart rate. Ben stumbled when he felt something sharp pierce her leg and he ran faster.
Distance was hard to estimate in the semi-darkness, but he followed his partner’s inherent light and the ravine opened before him.
Shit.
The water was higher and raging faster than he’d ever seen. “Rey!” he shouted into the wind.
“Down here!”
Following her voice and sense, he staggered and slipped along the muddy edge until he found her clinging to a downed tree on the other side of the raging waters. The bridge that had been built over the ravine was shattered into pieces. Rey still lost control when she was panicked or afraid and the narrow bridge had taken the full force of her power this time.
“Hang on, Rey!” Ben half-climbed, half-slid down the steep slope of the ravine and landed waist-deep in swirling, ice-cold water. Shit shit shit. A single rope from the demolished bridge remained and Ben pulled the long layer of his outer tunic off and flung it over the top of the rope. Grabbing the other end, he knotted them together with hands shaking from the cold and held on to the makeshift tether as he worked his way across the torrent of flood waters.
He was tall and muscular and a good swimmer, and it still took all he had to fight his way to the other side. Rey was strong and she’d recently learned how to swim but she was still a small, young girl with no chance of navigating these waters alone.
Before he even reached her, she was gasping “I’m sorry!” over and over again.
“It’s okay,” he panted, resting his hand on her bare calf to hold her steady as much as to reassure himself that she was actually here. Her skin was like ice. A piece of a narrow branch protruded from her thigh, not as noticeable as it would have been without the water washing the blood away. He wanted to pull it out but there was the chance that it was occluding an artery and Rey would freeze to death in the time it would take him to hold pressure on the wound.
Ben looked up and over and around through the rain, but there was no way to get her out of the ravine without crossing the water. He turned back to her. “Can you grab ahold of me?”
Rey was shaking all over, but she nodded bravely.
“Good girl!” he turned around. “Climb onto my back! Put your arms around me!” he shouted over the thunder.
Ben gritted his teeth against her pain as she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Her weight felt like nothing on his back but the strength of her grip reassured him that she was still fighting.
Her determination bolstered him and he fought his way across the water that had now risen to his chest. Rey was submerged to her waist and the sharp waves beat at the stick piercing her leg. Her gasps turned to sobs, but she held on, refusing to cry out or complain.
Finally reaching the other side, he pulled them both up the muddy bank with sheer determination. At the top, he staggered to the nearest tree and rested his head and shoulder against the firm bark. “You all right?” he gasped.
“Yeah,” Rey answered weakly.
“Okay,” he panted. “I’m going to carry you to medical.”
“No, Ben. You’re too tired,” she protested. “Let’s just rest.”
“It’ll be harder if I stop, trust me.” Carrying her through the rain was something he could do day and night. But her pain was gnawing at him and all he could think about was getting her help.
Rey clung to him, her small hands clenching at his neck when he hit bumps or stumbled, but she never complained. When they hit smooth clearings, she’d rest her head on his shoulder and her breath on his neck soothed him with the assurance that some part of her was still warm and she wouldn’t freeze even though she was shivering against his back.
Through their bond, he gave her warmth and she gave him power and they both sagged in relief when the towering pyramid of the Jedi Temple appeared through the cloudy, rainy haze.
~*~
An hour later, Ben sat watching Rey in the dim light of the medical ward. The Jedi Healer had removed the stick from her leg and sealed the wound. It hadn’t been deep, just far enough in to cause pain and incapacitation, but no permanent damage.
The elder Mirialan healer sat beside Ben on his bench and rested a gentle hand on his knee. “She will recover fully,” the Healer said softly. “You did well to keep her warm and stave off hypothermia.”
Ben nodded absently, studying her freckled face, usually warm and vibrant, now pale in the dim light. Her long, brown hair hung limp in wet tangles.
“Go rest, young Ben,” she said, a note of affection in her voice. “Your Rey will be sleeping for a while longer. She is in a healing trance.”
Your Rey
Ben worked his jaw in silence, then exhaled through his nose and nodded as he rose to leave.
~*~
But Ben didn’t rest. He paced the halls of the Jedi Temple, berating himself for his utter stupidity. How could he have sent her out in that? She had apologized over and over for taking the long course, blaming herself. He’d protested - emphatically and repeatedly - and finally told her to stop talking when her teeth were chattering so loud he was afraid she’d break a tooth.
He ended up in a training room and not even lightsaber practice sated his agitation. He took to an old-fashioned punching bag and pounded it with his fists until his knuckles were raw. Rey’s face flashed before him over and over, wide-eyed and hurting, but trusting him with her life.
Your Rey
Ben rubbed his face with bruised and aching hands. The Force had given her to him and he’d nearly gotten her killed all because he didn’t want to talk about sex. He kicked the bag this time. Hard. She deserved better. He was too young for this, too inexperienced. He’d talk to Uncle Luke tomorrow about someone else training her.
“Hey.” A voice from the doorway startled him and he spun around to find his aunt watching him. He hadn’t even felt her. “I heard,” she said. “Are you all right?”
Ben hung his head, his breathing ragged.
Mara Jade Skywalker made her way to one of the benches and sat down. Indifferent to ancient traditions, she wore a casual version of Jedi attire instead of the robes typically worn by the Masters. Her red hair hung loose around her shoulders and she studied him with perceptive eyes. “No,” she answered her own question quietly. “You are not all right. Give that bag a break and come sit with me.”
Sagging down onto the bench, Ben leaned forward and held his head in his hands. She didn’t press him to talk and he was grateful. It took him a few minutes to feel composed enough to speak.
“It’s my fault,” he said hoarsely. “She wanted to talk to me about something that made me uncomfortable and I sent her out to run the course because I thought it would make her feel better but the storm was coming and I should have known - ”
“Whoa,” Mara held up a hand to stop him. “That is a lot to put on yourself, Ben. And unless you know something we don’t, I’m pretty sure you don’t control the weather.”
He appreciated that she was trying to make him feel better, but he just shook his head. “I can’t do this. She needs a better teacher.”
“Absolutely not.”
The sharpness of Mara’s words startled him and he turned to her. She met his gaze straight on, her green eyes boring into his. “It’s true that Masters are typically much older when they take on their first apprentice, but your situation is unique. Rey’s power is unique and it only responds to you.” Her voice gentled. “It may not be that way forever, but this is the path that was given to you by the Force. I believe it’s for a reason.”
Ben looked away, staring blankly across the room. “She could have drowned or been hit by lightning or a falling tree. She could have been killed.”
“But she wasn’t.” Mara reached up and placed her hand on his shoulder, much higher than her own. “You will make mistakes, Ben. We all do. Absolutely no one thinks this was your fault, but even if it was, you have to forgive yourself and move on.”
Ben just stared down at his abused knuckles.
“Now.” Mara stood, giving him an understanding pat on the shoulder. “You should go put on some dry clothes so that when Rey wakes up she doesn't think you’re trying to give yourself some kind of river water skin rash.”
~*~
Showered and dry, Ben sat in the chair beside Rey’s cot in the medical suite picking at his cuticles. Aunt Mara was right, of course. Rey trusted him. And she’d already been abandoned once in her short life. He would study more. Ask for more advice from the older teachers. Spend more time deciphering the Dyad texts. Pay more attention to the damn weather.
Rey reached over and rested her small hand on his knee. Ben jerked his head up and froze. Rey was staring straight ahead, her eyes wide. “Do you see that?” she whispered.
Ben followed her gaze to the empty ceiling. “See what?” he asked.
“It’s bright. There’s pain...” Her voice and hand were both trembling now.
“Rey?” Ben stood up and rested his hands on her arms. “Rey, what’s wrong?”
She was staring straight up at him, and didn’t see him at all. “Ben…what is that?” His skin prickled as her terror rolled over him.
“Rey!” He gave her a small shake. “You’re dreaming. Wake up!”
Her face morphed into a rictus of horror and Ben jumped up, looking around frantically but saw nothing but the bare walls and dim lights.
“Rey…” He turned back and she was studying him with clear, hazel eyes.
“Ben!” She looked surprised to see him. “Are you okay?” She struggled to sit up and he leaned down to help her. “Were you hurt? I’m so sorry…”
“What - what were you talking about, just a minute ago? You were looking at something on the ceiling.”
Rey looked up in confusion. “No,” she glanced around the room. “I meant about the river. Did Master Offee check you over?”
Ben sat down carefully on the edge of her bed. The fear was gone as quickly as it had come and she was watching him inquisitively. “I’m….” He glanced around one last time. “No, I’m fine. Nothing’s hurt. How are you?”
She smiled up at him, crinkling her freckled nose. “I feel good. I’m hungry!”
Ben reached down for the bag he’d brought and pulled out a container of her favorite berry bread. All was well if Rey was hungry.
After she devoured what he had brought, he gathered the bag and set it aside. Sitting up straight, Ben squared his shoulders and met Rey’s eyes evenly. “To answer your question,” he said solemnly, “no, I have not had sex.”
Rey blinked at him, her cheeks turning pink behind her freckles.
“That’s all I really want to say about that, but I’m sorry that I panicked and overreacted.” Staring down at his knees, he spoke quickly as if he would lose his nerve before getting the words out. “I should never have sent you out in that storm and I promise it won’t happen again. We should be able to talk about anything.”
Rubbing his damp palms on his pants, he looked up to the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. His heart caught in his throat so that he was glad for the distraction when she rose up and flung her arms around his neck.
“It wasn’t your fault, Ben.” Her voice was soft against his neck. “I took the wrong course on purpose. Thank you for saving me.”
She slid away from him and settled back onto her heels.
“Anytime.” He took one of her small hands in his, cupping her cool fingers against his palm. “Every time, Rey. Always.”