Work Text:
[ messages; dazai, chuuya ]
jeff: hry
jane: what do you want
jeff: why r u always so mesn to me
jane: I'll quit being mean when you learn how to write properly
jane: also I'm not mean
jeff: yes youare...
jeff: and sorry if i dont care about my wruting while texting ????
jane: why can't you just check if you wrote the words correctly?
jeff: why cant you stop being so boring? some questions dont hsve answers
jane: kys
jane: what do you want anyway? it's like two in the morning, just go to sleep
jeff: if its so late why arent you sleeping
jane: i was sleeping until someone decided to text me at two a.m.
jeff: then why cant you put your phone on silent while you're sleeping like everyone does
jane: what if you're dying and someone texts me to tell me you're going to the hospital and i don't hear it because my phone is on silent and you die and i will never be able to tell you how much i love you
jeff: your i love you jokes are no longer funny, i hope you diw
jeff: die*
jeff: also you do not turn your phone on silent just for me? Maybe you're really inlove with me after all
jane: it wasn't a "you" like "You Dazai", it was like "you, person who has my number"
jeff: whatever
jane: so
jeff: what
jane: will you tell why the fuck did you text me in the middle of the night or do i have to break your legs
jeff: so violent
jeff: just wanted to tell u your body pillow arrived today, i forgot to let you know and i just remebwrd about it so
jeff: chuuya?
jeff: r u alive
jane: yeah okay
jeff: u ok ?
jane: kys
jeff: you're still embarrased about ti ??
jeff: embarrassed*
jeff: it*
jane: No
jane: why don't you just check the text before sending it instead of correcting words afterward
jeff: why dont you die
jane: how many times did i tell you to kill yourself until now?
jeff: idk two i think
jane: wrong
jane: three. kys
jeff: ha very funny
jane: i know right
jane: i'm so funny
jeff: i was being sarcastic
jane: kys i know what being sarcastic is, stop mansplaining everything
jeff: that wasn't even mansplaining
jeff: also
jeff: four
jane: four what
jeff: the times you told me to kill myself
jane: oh right
jane: want to make it five?
jeff: you're even meaner when you're sleep-deprived
jeff: tmrw youll be a pain in the ass
jane: isn't this like our thing
jeff: what are you talking about
jane: like we're the gay best friends and you're the mean bisexual and i'm the even meaner gay
jeff: what
jeff: no, you're the mean gay and i'm the even meaner bisexual
jane: what the fuck are you saying
jane: you just said that i'm mean
jeff: i never said youre meaner than me
jane: i am tho
jeff: no
jane: yes
jeff: no
jane: yes
jeff: no
jane: yes
jeff: no
jane: yes
jeff: yes
jane: no
jane: fuck
jeff: Ha!
jane: kys
jeff: five
jane: we'll make it six
jeff: just accept you're mean but also kind of sweet
jane: did you just say i'm sweet
jeff: i mean everyone says so
jane: what
jeff: yeah everyone is always talking about how you are kinda intimidating at first but when they talk to you you're this tiny ball of being caring and questions like "do u need help"
jane: i'm not tiny
jeff: yeah sure
jane: shut up
jane: also i'm meaner than you
jeff: okay lets ask our friends then
jane: it's 3am
jeff: yosanos probably up sexting with kouyou
jane: why did you have to tell me this
jeff: it's true
jane: okay but i don't want to think about it
jeff: because they have an active sex life while you just bought your first body pillow?
jane: first and last
jane: and stop talking like you don't own one
jeff: leave me and miku out of this
jane: oh god it has a name
jeff: its "she"
jeff: and i didnt give her a name
jeff: it's like you calling yours "levi"
jane: it's different
jeff: how
jane: because i'm embarrassed and you're not
jeff: listen i was 13 and dumb and i bought something stupid
jeff: it's funny
jeff: you are 17 and dumb and you bought something stupid
jeff: it's still funny
jeff: and kinda sad
jane: shut up
jeff: what do you even need it for
jane: ...
jeff: oh
jeff: nvm
jane: NO WAIT
jane: DAZAI
jane: I DIDN'T MEAN THAT
jeff: dude its fine who am i to judge i used to hug mine to fall asleep and you can use yours for
jeff: your moments
jeff: hormonal moments
jeff: your needs
jeff: the sexual ones
jane: i hope you die
jane: i hope i die
jane: i hope we both die
jeff: you're coming down with mee
jane: stop singing
jane: and stop being alive
jane: i didn't meant it like that
jane: it was just a weird question like it's a pillow what do you want me to use it for
jeff: so you're just gonna let levi lay on your bed forever
jane: stop talking like he's a person
jane: it's*
jeff: no dude im not believing that
jane: stop calling me dude what are you? straight and14?
jane: nevermind, it was a stupid question
jane: obviously you're 11
jane: so
jane: what are you? a straight dude?
jeff: if every man is like the one im talking to rn i think i will go back to my straight phase
jane: the fuck are you talking about you were never straight
jeff: i know chuuya, it was a joke, people are born this way
jane: god shut the fuck up
jane: i meant you never thought you were straight
jeff: yeah i had a crush on both troy and gabriella
jane: i get being bisexual but this is just shit taste
jane: gabriella is pretty okay, but sharpay is right there??
jeff: why do you gay dudes always like hyperfeminine women
jane: i like all women, but sharpay is the best character
jane: i will die on this hill
jane: she's way more talented than gabriella
jane: and prettier
jeff: what do you want to understand about women you don't even like them
jane: i like them, i just don't want to date or fuck them
jane: i'm gay not blind
jane: or dumb
jeff: u sure?
jane: i hate you
jeff: yeah okay
jeff: troy was hot tho
jane: we're not having this conversation again
jeff: WHY
jane: because i want to kill myself every time you say that troy is hotter than chad
jeff: he is
jane: DO YOU HAVE SHIT FOR BRAINS ???
jeff: IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU HAVE A THING FOR BASKETBALL PLAYERD
jane: TROY PLAYS TOO HES JUST FYCKING UGLY
jeff: SHUP UP
jane: YOU SHUT UP
jeff: I REVOKE YOUR GAY CARD
jane: WHAT THE FUCK
jeff: YOURE NO LONGER GAY
jane: IM NOT ???
jane: HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF QUEER WHEN YOU LIKE FUCKING TROY BOLTON
jane: NO ONE LIKES HIM
jeff: EVERY GIRL WANTED TO BE WITH HIM???
jane: BECAUSE STRAIGHT WOMEN HAVE NO SELF RESPECT
jeff: ok stop
jeff: switzerland
jeff: ryan
jane: my boyfriend yes
jeff: no he's mine
jane: no we're both wrong here
jeff: ??
jane: he's chad's boyfriend
jeff: right
jeff: i forgot
jane: how can you forget about it
jane: they were in love
jeff: they were better than troy and gabriella that's for sure
jane: I KNOW
jeff: anyway
jane: what
jeff: i'm meaner than you
jane: god not this again
jeff: just admit it
jane: no
jeff: you're also gonna use that body pillow when you're alone
jane: i wish i was dead
jeff: if you kill yourself i will kill myself to follow you in hell and make fun of your dead face forever
jane: ...
jane: im going to sleep
jeff: no
jeff: chuuya
jeff: chuuyaaa
jeff: no wait you cant leave me here i cant sleep
jeff: chuuya
jeff: cmon
jeff: if you dont answer ill post embarrassing pics of you on instagram
jeff: did you turn off your phone
jeff: traitor
jeff: CHUUYA I'M DYING IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL RN
jeff: wow you really dont care if die uh?
jeff: its fine i dont care either if you're alive or not
jeff: i prefer odasaku anyway
jane: no you dont
jeff: CHUUYA YOU'RE BACK
jeff: and what if i do
jane: and what if i was suicidal and this was my 13th reason
jeff: so dramatic
jeff: stop being dramatic that's my job
jane: i know, when we watched ouran in middle school you decided you had to be tamaki
jeff: and it still took me like 15 years to figure out i'm trans
jeff: wait
jeff: does that make you my haruhi
jane: i feel like i'm more like hikaru
jeff: hikaru like
jeff: the twin
jeff: ??? how mentally ill you actually are
jane: listen if you ignore the weird things with his brother he's cool
jane: he's kinda relatable sometimes
jeff: yeah like when he kisses his brother on the mouth
jeff: his TWIN brother
jane: THEY DONT KISS ON THE MOUTH
jeff: THEY DO
jeff: stay away from your sister if you relate to him pls
jane: i hate you
jane: also ew ??? what the fuck ??
jane: and i'm gay??
jeff: well hikaru said he was straight but that didn't stop him from sleeping with his brother
jane: ...
jeff: sleeping in every sense of that word
jane: goodnight
jeff: CHUUYA WAIT
jane: what
jeff: so i cant tag you when i see edits of tamaki and haruhi ??
jane: do whatever you want i don't care
jeff: okay
jeff: ill bring you the body pillow at school
jane: NO YOU FUCKING WONT
jeff: gn
jane: kys