Archive of Our Own ^beta

The taxi speeds through the speed bumps of Youngjae’s childhood neighborhood. His grip on the seat belt tightens, they're rivaling The Fast and Furious but the driver is no Vin Diesel. He wonders if he should be thankful because he’s really late or not because technically, the driver is driving him to his personal brand of hell. 

After a few more turns that look like a cheap rip-off of a Tokyo Drift, he arrives in one piece. He pays the driver, remembering to give him a tip because the ride had been the most exhilarating thing that happened to him for the month. 

For a moment, he stays in the middle of the road, glancing through each of the familiar houses in their neighborhood. Nothing has changed. Their house is still the most interesting and it's only because it's a funeral home and a household in one. 

Seems like they still live their old, boring lives. Fucking losers. 

He's about to walk over to their neighbor just to say hi to their angel statue, the only thing he missed after being away when the rain suddenly pours. Youngjae can only look at the statue longingly. 

So close yet so far. He says to himself.

Being stubborn, he didn't try to rush to the entrance of the funeral home. He's already late anyway. But for his own sake, he removed his coat to stop him from being soaked completely. 

As if taunting him, the rain pours harder. Youngjae swallows, standing under the rain and contemplating his life choices. 

Great, he’s off to a good start. 

He looks at the pitch-black sky, it’s probably sympathizing with him now. Maybe mocking him but definitely cares for the state of his sanity. 

Or maybe for his family. Youngjae’s going to his aunt’s last day of wake after all. 

Not that he cares. He's been forced to be here anyway. 

"Shit!" He curses, tripping over a puddle. With the number of misfortunes thrown to him outside, Youngjae's convinced that he'll just drop dead as soon as he sets foot in the funeral home. 

Much to his dismay, it didn't happen. 

‘You’re late!” 

Obviously. He mentally rolls his eyes. 

His mother, Yoojung is waiting for him by the door. Probably making sure that he looks presentable. He is. They called him incessantly earlier while he was taking his graduation photos. He had to rush. If his pictures turn out bad after this, he won't invite them to his graduation.

They stood in front of each other awkwardly. Youngjae is soaking wet and Yoojung looks like she'd rather scrub the mud off the floor than hug him or at least take his coat from him. 

At the side, his father is watching them silently. He's frowning, his arms crossed. Youngjae doesn't have to analyze what his stance means like he used to. Choi Youngbin is disappointed. 

He's finally home.

Outside, the weather worsens. Youngjae mourns for the first time. If it continues, no one would be able to leave immediately. Unless someone is willing to give him a lift and save him from his misery. Honestly, he'd probably walk under the rain than go straight to their house after service. 

Yoojung shows interest when she notices the flack of neighbors whispering to themselves at the sight of Youngjae. He feels the determination in his mother's steps when she pulls him in their direction. Ready to show him off. 

He can't wait to bullshit his way through it. He learned from the best after all. 

It's easy to spot the delight the middle-aged women felt when Youngjae shows up in front of them with his mother. They're like moths ushered to a flame. Yoojung's definitely rejoicing deep inside from the attention. 

He had expected his family to treat this like a celebration but he didn’t know it'd be this bad. 

“This is Youngjae? You’ve grown so much!” A woman, presumably his mother’s amiga exclaims. His mother laughs. "Yes, this is my youngest. He changed so much didn't he?"

He feels an overwhelming urge to walk out. 

“He’d taken his graduation picture earlier. That’s why he’s late.” Miyoung boasts as if she didn’t look like she’d rather Youngjae not show up earlier. He gets consecutive greetings and congratulations from them. Though he'd argue that those are more for his parents than his. 

He slowly feels like suffocating once his father brings more crowd. Shouldn't they be wailing in front of his aunt's casket and act like they've had memorable interactions? Why are they giving him a totally unwanted attention?

They should've just brought a picture of him than make him go here. He'd bet that it'll get the same reaction. 

It's obvious that these people are most of his parent's guests than his aunt. He wants to feel sorry for but it's not like she has friends. She was a raging bitch who had made more foes than allies. She’s probably in hell now, giving satan a lap dance. And if she's suffering in the afterlife (which he hopes is happening), maybe it's her karma for outing Youngjae back in high school. 

“Finally, a doctor in our family!” His uncle says. He’s slurring, a flask of alcohol in hand. Other relatives cheer and Youngjae winces at the sound. This feels so much like a family reunion. What a nightmare. 

The remark causes the middle-aged women to come closer to him. No doubt they're impressed. But also very invasive. Asking him many questions like if he’s single (he is) and if he’s interested in meeting their daughters (he'd rather eat dirt). 

He tries to answer them all politely knowing being sarcastic wouldn't fare well. Still, he can't help but roll his eyes at the influx of comments like "You've lost weight!" Or "You look so much better being skinny!" or the worst of all, "Are you still gay?"

Youngjae doesn't need those unwarranted comments. He never lost weight to be complimented like that. Him being gay didn't change either. They can hope but it'll never differ.

The overbearing crowd along with the never-ending chatter doesn't help with him feeling suffocated. He might as well start hyperventilating. Youngjae doesn't really feel like he's being welcomed. It's like he's there to be a bait while everyone's a prey waiting for him to make the wrong move. 

"When's your qualifying exam?" A man asks. 

"Sorry, what?" He questions. From his side, he can see some walking to them with their daughters around. He slowly starts to panic, cold sweat forming in his temple. This is not some speed dating event for fuck's sake. 

"In med school? When's your exam?"

Right. Med school. He's going to be a doctor. 

Sike. 

He's not going to be a doctor. Ever. In fact, Youngjae had transferred to film after a week during freshman year. He knows himself enough to recognize that he's going to hate himself forever if he follows his parent's dream plan for him. He went with it from childhood to his senior year of high school. He's not letting them take over the rest of his life. 

He's not patient and he's definitely not a saint. 

You could say that this is his secret number 1 out of many. 

How his parents never notice that he changed courses despite their nosiness? It's the combined power of luck and Youngjae's sheer ability to bullshit his way into any situation he's in.

He flashes the man a million-dollar smile.

 "Soon." He says with a composure that will probably put Jinyoung's acting classes to waste. 

Speaking of the devil, he isn't here yet. If he is, Youngjae wouldn't be cornered like this. After all, he's a mere supporting actor in Jinyoung's life as the main character. His older brother is that great apparently. 

"Is it hard to study a pre-med course?" A young girl asks, eyes as big as saucers. The only thing missing now is the cameras. This is like a press conference. 

"Pretty much, yeah. But everything is hard in college. Especially when you're doing it alone." He tells her, wanting to remind her that nothing is ever easy. 

"Alone? You did it alone? What about your parents?" a friend of his mom asks. If this is a movie, he'd probably give what they're asking— an emotional speech dedicated to his loving parents who had sacrificed their life fulfilling their promise of giving him an education 'till the end. 

Too bad, in his opinion, movies like that are trash. 

"I mean, they didn't exactly fund my education so why get the credit? I paid for everything. I was the one who studied and made an effort. I put myself there alone." He ignores the glares sent his way. He definitely isn't welcome home later. 

That's good because he doesn't care anyway. If he's going to think about it, his best friend, Jackson deserves more of the credit because, unlike his parents, he's willing to house him without pay when he lost his job in sophomore year. Jackson's just glad to see Youngjae alive, he's willing to shoulder debt for the both of them. 

When he finally got a great opportunity in Junior year, he made sure to spoil him rotten. Jackson deserves everything.

Youngjae kept his smile amicable. He had made things awkward but it's his parent's problem to care about. He's giving them the attention they ordered. 

"I'm going to see my aunt to pay respects." He tells everyone, bowing politely to annoy his parents more. 

Of course, Youngjae doesn't plan to even step near his aunt's casket. He's just trying to escape his parents and their catholic harem. He's sure he's going to get a round of pray-over and religiously riddled advice if he stays some more. 

Another secret, his secret number 2 of many, Youngjae had stopped practicing catholicism since high school. Now, he doesn't have a problem with religion. He respects it. But it's hard to stay on when his catholic school likes to twist the narrative just to rule over their students. Much harder to love it when people like his parents would rather see their child get bullied and abused just to maintain their so-called religious righteousness.   He'd rather make out with Jaebeom behind their school chapel than to ever step foot inside it. 

Now that Jaebeom is mentioned, Youngjae has to double-take when he sees his ex standing near the buffet table. He doesn't even bother to question the buffet. But Im Jaebeom, being here? He's not informed that they're having a community meeting. 

He's wearing matching formal wear like Youngjae but his coat is nowhere to be found and the first few buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned. Totally inappropriate to look like that but expect Jaebeom to look sexy inside a funeral home. Being hot doesn't pick circumstances. 

It's not surprising to see that they match. He's expected to graduate right on time. The complete opposite of Youngjae. He'd been a fool to hope that his family would feel proud for making it right on time but knowing them, they're more likely to get kidnapped and hurled at flesh-eating sharks than react. 

"Thrown at the wolves?" Jaebeom asks when he reaches the table. 

"Worse." He gets a small plate and stares at the food at the table. He's starving but nothing looks appetizing. Honestly, who has an appetite during a wake? 

He looks at Jaebeom. He has a half-eaten bagel in his hand, his plate resting at the table. It's full of different food that Youngjae has to wonder if he's only here to eat.

Now he found one.

There's no point in ignoring him. Not when they're the only ones at the buffet table. He tries to calm the rage inside him. Youngjae starts a conversation. "Did you also get…" 

"I did," Jaebeom answers, not letting him finish. "Fortunately, my mom left early. I really thought she won't stop until she gets me a date for the weekend." His ex chuckles. He looks like he can't believe it happened. It reminds Youngjae of being with him during events in the past. 

He doesn't know if he's modest or just plain naive. Jaebeom had never acknowledged the fact that many people wanted him. Women and men alike would fight to be with him.

"Surprisingly, she didn't succeed, you're popular with girls." He remarks, his hands keep on reaching for food and backing out. 

"Too bad, they're not the ones I want to impress." With the way Jaebeom is holding his elbow softly, his gaze longing, Youngjae definitely gets the message. He almost reached out for his hand just to twist it away. 

Fuck this guy.  

He shrugs him off instead, ignoring his dejected expression. It doesn't fit him at all. Where's the jerk he used to date? 

Youngjae moves to the other side of the table. It's filled with pastries and desserts. He surveys it, weighing his options. 

"What are your plans after graduation?" He questions Jaebeom when he feels him creeping behind. No use trying to escape him. He's like wild grass, no matter you try to pull him out from his roots, he comes back over and over. 

"Depends." He answers shortly. Youngjae snorts. "I'm not asking you for a life plan. Stop being ambiguous." 

"As I said, it depends." Jaebeom insists, his frown deepening. He's upset. "What are your plans after?"

He looks at him over his shoulder. "Just...film stuff. What are you expecting from a film major?"

"From you? A lot." Big word. 

"Sounds like my mom." He says sarcastically. 

Jaebeom walks over to his side, leaning to the table. "So, do they know now?"

"Know what?" He's starting to feel real irritated. 

"About you leaving bio for film."

"Do you really think you'll still see me here if they know?" He laughs humorlessly. He empties his plate by dumping back its contents. He doesn't feel like eating anymore.

Expect Im Jaebeom to ruin things like he always does. He walks away, officially done with the conversation.

"I just thought you did." He says loudly, not bothering to follow Youngjae.

"Well, you're wrong." He walks briskly back to him. He doesn’t want to make a scene. Knowing Jaebeom, he'll probably shout to his heart's content. 

"When are you going to tell them?"

"None of your business."

"Jae, I'm just asking." Youngjae freezes at the nickname. Instead of calming down, he only gets angrier. 

"Look, I get it that you want to know but please stop asking like you care! I'll tell my parents whenever the fuck I want." He doesn't appreciate Jaebeom appearing like this nor does he like the way he tries to be involved in his life again. It's not that easy. 

"Tell us what?" Yoojung says, appearing out of nowhere. 

"That the new renovation of this place sucks!" He says not missing a beat. Fuck Jaebeom and his loud, pretty mouth. 

"Your opinion is unwarranted," Yoojung replies to his son. Her expressionless face morphs to a smiley one when she sees a frowning Jaebeom by Youngjae's side. 

"Jaebeom!" She says as she pulls him to a hug. The man returns it awkwardly. Youngjae chuckles at the view. Im Jaebeom is still terrified of his mother. 

"I didn't see you earlier!" She says. "Look at you, you've grown more handsome." Yoojung probably saw him earlier. He's hard not to miss. She just doesn't want to acknowledge the living proof of her son's sexual orientation. Not even making out in front of her would make her accept it.

And they say to see it to believe. Choi Yoojung is a woman of exception. 

"It's fine auntie. I was also pretty occupied earlier." Jaebeom rubs his nape shyly, feeling weird to interact with her when she's being so nice. He feels the threat underneath and he doesn't feel safe. 

"It looks like your conversation is done so I'm snatching back my son. See you later." She leaves no room for protest, grabbing Youngjae hardly by the elbow that he winced at the contact. There's urgency in his mother's demeanor. He has to wonder what he's up to now. Did the president arrive or something?

Youngjae gets dragged by his mother somewhere. He busies himself but glaring daggers at anyone who tries to get on their way. He's tired of all their bullshit. 

He half expects to see their community priest when they round down a corner. The man’s been obsessed with Youngjae ever since he was outed. If he’s there, he should’ve taken Jaebeom to join him because he doesn’t like suffering alone.

Instead, it’s a very familiar man that he sees next to his father. 

Lee Junho. A successful surgeon, a professor in his University. 

His sugar daddy. 

He literally freezes on his spot. Yoojung turns to him when he wouldn't budge, pinching his wrist and subtly kicking his leg. The woman has a short fuse and it's showing.

That's Lee Junho. The man he met at Mark Tuan's bachelor party a year ago. The one who had saved him from dropping out during Junior year. He had been giving him money and gifts for a good fuck. 

Heck, they hooked up last night!

Yoojung uses more force. Youngjae remains staring as they walk up to them. 

That's Lee Junho. His sugar daddy. With a woman beside him holding a child that looks eerily like a combination of their best features. 

Junho and the woman fussed over the baby when it started to cry. The kid probably sensed the bad energy Youngjae's presence had brought. For a moment, Junho and the woman share a brief eye contact, a second of understanding. 

It makes him sick to the stomach, like all the bile inside had crawled up and he's ready to projectile vomit on this picture-perfect family in front of him.

This is officially the worst day of his life ever. And Youngjae used to be thrown garbage at in high school. 

Youngjae has to catch his breath when he comes face to face with Junho. He feels like he'd run a mile, sweating bullets like his life depended on it. The man's face shows an obvious recognition. It makes Youngjae want to run. What else would this person say that can add to his emotional turmoil?

"Here you are." His father says. He's smiling for the first time today. Meanwhile, Youngjae wants to drop kick the statue near the wall out of anxiety. "Where were you?"

"I-I was eating." He wants to slap himself. He isn't supposed to stutter. He didn't raise himself to sound like a weakshit.

There's a glint in his father's eyes. Akin to concern which he only sees at the mention of him and eating. Youngjae just feels worse. 

"Well, I want you to meet the Lee's." Youngbin gestures to them. Up close, he gets to see the woman which, unfortunately, is very gorgeous. The baby, now having stopped crying, smiles at him and it makes Youngjae step back. This kid is mocking his whole existence. He's sure of that.

"Junho's the son of my colleague in business. He's a doctor. While Miyoung, his wife, is a businesswoman. And this cute baby girl," his father coos at the kid, "is their daughter."

Wife? Daughter?

He feels dizzy. 

Youngjae didn't move an inch. He didn't even show any emotion. He's just anxious and pissed. He'd never imagine himself being in this kind of position. 

This is Lee Junho and his lying ass' fault. 

He offers his hand for a handshake, a knee-jerk reaction."I'm Choi Youngjae, their son. Nice to meet you, Miyoung."

Miyoung shakes his hand with a smile. 

Lee Junho has a wife. A beautiful, successful wife. And yet he's out here, living a bachelor life, having sex with a college student almost twice his age during weekends, and lying about his civil status to get more numbers.

Men are vile creatures.

Junho's smile is forced when he looks at him. Youngjae hopes that he feels threatened by his presence. "It's great to see you, Youngjae. It's been a while." He acknowledges him much to everyone's surprise. The audacity, really. 

Youngjae quips a smirk. "Yeah, I think the last time we had a proper conversation was at the wedding, right?"

Youngjae's father is confused. While he knows there's a possibility that they know each other, he thought they met as a Junior and Senior at the University Med Program. Junho is known to teach undergrad students. 

Junho's smile vanishes. The last he'd been expecting is for Youngjae to reveal where they met. Youngjae would totally be dead now with multiple stab wounds if glares could kill.

"What wedding?" Miyoung asks her husband, rocking their child in her arms. 

"It's Mark's. Last year, remember? You weren't able to attend because you're on a business trip." Junho explains. Miyoung is confused but Junho keeps on adding details to it that by the end, Miyoung can only nod. 

Youngjae is perplexed by the conversation. Yet at the same time, he can recall many times that Junho had done the same to him. It's not like the older man is controlling him but he didn't have opportunities to ever argue with him. Youngjae will always be wrong. 

He'd definitely not tolerate being with this man if not for the money. 

Desperate moments come with desperate measures. 

"You know, I didn't know that downing 5 shots of soju consecutively can knock me down so easily! Thankfully, Junho's there to take care of me."   and then he fucked me the day after . 

To instigate more confusion, he adds detail to the story himself. Junho has no chance of stopping him here. His parents are too nosy for their own good. They would want to know everything. 

Youngjae thoroughly feels disgusted by Junho and himself. He's so pissed he wouldn't even feel remorse if he tells them their relationship now. 

But he bites his cheek and watches as Miyoung tenderly takes care of their child. Being so attentive without forgetting about Junho. It's like she's taking care of two toddlers. Youngjae's heart clenches. She doesn't deserve to know this way.

"It must've been stressful taking care of my son. Thank you for aiding him, Junho." His mother is practically gushing. 

"Not at all," Junho says good-naturedly. He earned another praise from Youngbin. Meanwhile, Youngjae tries his very best to not tackle him on the ground.

Why does he need to be here again?

Miyoung passes the child to Junho. He doesn't look happy with it but she barely notices. She reaches out for his mother's hand. "I'm sorry if we only came now. Junho has been taking care of some things and I'm at a business conference with our daughter."

Yoojung squeezes her hand. "It's fine. My sister can wait."

Youngjae almost laughed. 

Why would such a woman like her, settle for a man who doesn't even like to hold their daughter? 

He sees Miyoung subtly passing Yoojung an envelope of money. Youngjae got to be in the first seat watching his mother try to decline. She's smiling ear to ear. He can almost hear her exclaiming "Hallelujah!"

Maybe not taking Jaebeom to hear this conversation is a bad idea. They may not be on good terms but they'd enjoy watching this bullshit together. He and Jaebeom had faced so many shitty situations that he's so sure they'd find a way to make this funnier than it already is. 

"We insist," Junho tells her and she finally drops her act. Youngjae rolls his eyes, ignoring his father's curious gaze. 

Whether he noticed something or not, Youngjae doesn't bother knowing. 

Considering himself done with this fake-ass conversation, Youngjae's eyes scan the place. He sees Jaebeom still near the buffet. 

He doesn't want to have another passive-aggressive conversation with him so he tries to find anyone he can approach just to distract him. 

There's no Yugyeom nor Bambam in sight. Not even Seulgi or Wendy. No wonder this wake is boring. This place is full of old people. 

He sees Jinyoung at the entrance struggling to fold his automatic umbrella. It strikes something in Youngjae. He finally finds a target. 

"Jinyoung!" he says, trying to sound enthusiastic. He walks to him, hugging him like he doesn't run to him in the University every once in a while. 

"What are you doing?" Jinyoung asks, there's a hint of suspicion in his tone, probably wondering what he's planning this time. He doesn't even hug him back. So much for being his older brother.

When he's about to pull away, Jinyoung suddenly pulls him. His older brother holds him tight, caging him near. In a distance, he hears their mother celebrate the arrival of her favorite child showing some love for his younger brother.

"Fake-ass bitch." He taunts him, seeing his eyebrow twitch. 

"Shut up, whore." Jinyoung replies and he feels an overwhelming urge to slap him. He's so lucky they aren't the only ones in the room.

Their mother hugs Jinyoung. She thanks him for gracing them with his presence when he's probably busy at law school. The bitterness Youngjae was repressing bleeds to his brain. 

Jinyoung misses one class and they thank him. Youngjae almost loses the chance to take his graduation photo and he receives nothing. Not even a fake sympathy.

"How are you? I'm so glad to see you!" Jinyoung basks in the attention, loving every moment of it. 

Suddenly, Youngjae is invisible again. 

"Are you hungry? I saw Jaebeom near the buffet. Go and meet him!"

Youngjae frowns. They'd been pushing Jinyoung to his ex every since he admitted that he's bisexual. It's sad realizing that if ever his parents will accept a gay child, it'll be Jinyoung as long as he dates Jaebeom. Perfect, handsome, and smart, Im Jaebeom. A great person to pair with an equally over-achieving Jinyoung.

Too bad jaebeom had never looked at Jinyoung's way. 

Youngjae decides that being in a conversation with his sugar daddy, his perfect wife, and his perfect brother is not very ideal so he proceeds to the buffet table. There's no choice, he tries to reason himself although he unconsciously can't stop looking that way. He can't stop thinking about the person still standing there. 

With all the caution already thrown in the air, he becomes determined to stuff himself out of stress. 

Jaebeom is still eating when he gets there and he wonders if the guy is stressed too. Stress eating used to be their thing. They used to save money to have dates at different restaurants. But since they're nothing but exes now, he doesn't comment on it.

"You lost a lot of weight." Jaebeom remarks. It's obvious who between them thinks before speaking. 

"Says my mom," he replies soullessly, dumping as many sweets as he can on his plate. Is overdosing on sugar a thing? 

"I'm serious, Jae, you look so frail." Jaebeom sounds so concerned. A stark difference from the sound of the people talking to him about his eating habits earlier. 

He looks up, annoyed. "It's rude to comment on other people's weight, Jaebeom."

"I'm just concerned." Yeah, no shit. Youngjae doesn't like him being concerned. 

"Thanks for your concern but I'm fine." He's about to leave when he notices the wine glass in Jaebeom's hand. 

"They serve liquor here?" He hears himself say. 

Shit. 

He has nowhere to go anyway. 

Jaebeom smiles at his question.

"How's it going?" Jaebeom had brought them a glass of wine each. Youngjae downs one and snatches the elder's glass quickly. 

Youngjae burps. "I didn't know you're into small talks now." 

Jaebeom sighs. Youngjae is not making it easy for both of them.  "I just want to have a conversation with you, Jae." He looks down, twirling the remnant of the wine in the glass. Youngjae senses the word please on the tip of his tongue.

"I moved out of Jackson's place." He says. Damn him for being a complete loser. Now Youngjae has to talk to him just so he wouldn't show him that sad face.

Jaebeom perks up but he remains acting nonchalant. "Where did you move to? I also moved to an apartment complex near the university."

Youngjae stills, his mind doing circus pirouettes. Is this luck? Or is this another unfortunate event in his tragic life?

"I moved to an apartment complex near yours." Specifically, the building in front of yours. 

He ignores the smile that bloomed on Jaebeom's face. He's acting like he hit a jackpot. It's only adding to the annoyance Youngjae feels towards him. 

Why's he so happy anyway? The last time he checked, he broke up with Youngjae while he was spending his two-year scholarship on the other side of the world. He desperately searched for anything other than an email from him but the man literally disappeared.

He even thought he died! 

But here is in front of him, talking like they saw each other yesterday. Who wouldn't be mad?

"Maybe we could hang out when we can get back. watch movies like we used to." Jaebeom proposes, hope evident in his voice. He places their wine glasses on the table, wanting to hold Youngjae's hand. 

Now, what the fuck is this? 

"You know you can't act like nothing happened and suggest things like that, right?" He explodes. He should've done this a moment ago but he had reservations. Maybe he's just looking for a time to explain. What he wants is an explanation. Not some sorry excuse to get Youngjae to his apartment and fuck him.

Jaebeom becomes silent at that, noticing the rage contained in his words. The man looks at him, looking so sorry that Youngjae suddenly wants to kick him. He wants to hurt him just as much as he did. No one recovers quickly when the only person who has been with you through ups and downs, the one that sees you for being you, abandoned you out of nowhere. 

"What?" he snarls, expecting an answer. 

"I-I..." a glass shatters, cutting off Jaebeom. It made him jump. He turns around to find out what happened. Everyone seems to be disturbed by noise too. Outside, it's still raining hard. He wonders for a moment if the sound is from there. 

Until Youngjae sees Jinyoung, Junho, and his parents at the other side of the room, trying to clean up the clutter on the carpet. 

"Fuck this shit!" he says to himself. Youngjae always promises himself to never clean up his family's mess ever again. But now, he's walking to them to do it. Literally.

He wordlessly tells Jinyoung to move away. His older brother barely even cleans the house. He doesn't know shit about these kinds of things. Youngjae has to clean this to avoid more accidents. He can't have his mom being in full Karen mode over a disastrous wake he organized by herself. 

Youngjae's parents move to a different spot, satisfied with his initiative. They took Junho and his kid with them, which works well for him. He squats to slowly pick up the shards of glass. It's from a display vase that his mom apparently doesn't care about because she hasn't yelled at anyone yet. 

Youngjae is working on piling the pieces of glass together when a pair of leather shoes appear in his line of sight. He looks up from the ground to see Jinyoung smiling down at him. "The cleaning materials are in the other room." 

He knows. He also had lived there his whole life.

"Fuck off." 

Jinyoung walks away chuckling. 

Youngjae busies himself on the ground. He tries to clean it up twice as fast because he doesn't want to prolong his embarrassment. 

He sees his family looking at him from afar. He has the urge to flash them his middle finger but he'd probably get thrown out. His dead aunt might even rise from her casket with the disrespect. So he just indulges himself with the sight of Jinyoung looking anxious when he's handed the baby.

Then a familiar pair of shoes appear in sight. He's so annoyed, readying to curse whoever that disturbance is until he looks up to see Jaebeom. Another full glass of wine in hand. 

"I swear, you're getting me drunk." he downs the wine offered while Jaebeom busies himself with helping him collect the broken parts of the vase.

"This is a good-looking vase. it's a shame it broke." Jaebeom says in an attempt to break the silence. Lame. 

"Beautiful things are great until they get broken," he replies, wrapping the bigger shards of glass in a paper before putting it in the garbage bag. 

"One can remain beautiful despite the damages," he argues. Youngjae knows he's looking at him but doesn't try to look back. Jaebeom really says corny things that sound like they came from romcom movies sometimes.

"Too bad, this is too damaged for that." He reasons with finality. He gets up, holding the garbage bag. 

He leaves Jaebeom there while he goes to the other room to find the trash can. He supposes he looks worse when he's frowning because everyone is making it a mission to stay out of the way.

He used to hate having a resting bitch face but it's incredibly useful when you're done with everything.

"Who the hell places the garbage and the bathroom in the same room as the caskets?" Jaebeom says. As expected, he'd follow him there. It seems like Jaebeom is ready to tail him to the moon. 

As long as there aren't any of his family members in sight. 

"Can you just fuck off already? Stop following me around. mingle with my dead aunt's friends. I don't care. Just leave me alone."

"No." He says firmly. When he walks up to Youngjae, he feels himself shaking. He doesn't know whether it's from the rage or the self-control leaving his body.

"You'll never be able to get rid of me," Jaebeom tells him dramatically. Youngjae mocks him, laughing sarcastically. 

"Technically, I was able to do that two years ago. It's actually pretty easy. I didn't have to do anything." 

"Listen, I'm sorry I didn—"

"Damn right, you should!" He screams. "Honestly, I'm doing fine before I came to this funeral. But as usual, you appear to make things complicated again." Youngjae tears up but he quickly wipes it away. "I'm fine. So I don't know why you're trying to shove yourself in my life again." 

He's about to walk away when Jaebeom hugs him from behind. His chin resting on his shoulders.

Youngjae sighs. "This is not a rom-com movie, Jaebeom. This isn't going to fix anything."

"I'm sorry." He utters, holding him tighter. Afraid that Youngjae wouldn't hear him out. He'd been pushing away Jaebeom since earlier. Ignoring his attempts to slowly explain to him everything. 

It hurt. But Youngjae's anger is not unfounded. He understands.  "I fucked up. I thought I could live without you but I can't." Jaebeom swallows his pride. Out of fear of being codependent, he'd push him away. 

"You survived two years without me, Jae. You still turned out fine." Youngjae reminds him.

"It's not the same," he argues. "I ruined a lot of things for us, for you. And I spent the last two years wishing I could change it."

"A phone call would have sufficed." Youngjae hears himself say. "I'm not asking you to hop on an airplane and leave your international scholarship because I know it means a lot to you. An explanation. Not some vague email. That's all I'm asking for."

"I'm so sorry." Jaebeom begins to cry. Youngjae almost weeps when he feels his tears wetting his neck. 

Youngjae bit his lip, contemplating. They stood still in the middle of a room full of caskets. The only sound they can hear is his sobs.

When he hears Jaebeom quieten, he untangles himself from his hold, not missing the way Jaebeom's hand reaches out in thin air, not wanting to let him go. 

Youngjae gets the handkerchief in his pocket and wipes Jaebeom's face. He sees his face contort in relief, fresh tears fall in his eyes again. 

He breaks once again. He hugs Youngjae tight, uttering I'm sorry over and over again. 

"Stop crying. They'll think I threatened your life or something." Youngjae says when he gets to wipe Jaebeom's face again. "Blow your nose," he even instructs once the tears have subsided.

The gesture is so incredibly familiar that it pushes Youngjae to remember how they used to be. All the tears, comfort, and pain. The struggles, expectations, and disappointment. They had always been each other's anchor. But now they've lost hold, both abandoned in this terrifying ocean of anger and guilt.

This moment feels like home. 

"No more tears?" He asks, holding Jaebeom's face with his hands. The man shakes his head and Youngjae melts. 

For a moment, he stays still staring into his eyes but when he feels Jaebeom's arms snaking to his waist, his rationality is thrown out of the window. 

Their lips met and something inside him rejoiced. This is probably his hallelujah moment. He feels so warm. And so so happy . 

He had forgotten how it feels to kiss someone without the influence of lust and alcohol. But this kiss, he shares with Jaebeom, is like the kiss the main leads share after a two-hour-long event of confusion and helplessness in rom-com movies.

This is love.  His mind suggests. 

He couldn't agree more.

Their teeth kept on going between them. They almost bite each other's tongues, but they continue.  Youngjae can't stop smiling, giggling even, that Jaebeom has to stop and laugh with him.  

He pulls away to catch his breath, feeling lightheaded but Jaebeom pushes him to a nearby coffin, giving him butterfly kisses on the cheek and biting Youngjae's lower lip from time to time. 

"I missed you so much," Jaebeom confesses, he's panting, eyes glazed with want. His voice dangerously low that the words traveled straight to Youngjae's dick. He pulls him again for a kiss, gasping when Jaebeom starts to grind on him. 

They're technically humping each other against a coffin but no one gives a fuck. 

Then they hear someone opening the door.

They pull away out of necessity. Jaebeom doesn't want to yet Youngjae, the one with still a bit of decency between them shakes his head. He half expects the cockblocker to be Jinyoung or worse, his parents but what he sees is Lee Junho, standing there in all his glory.

Youngjae frowns. He doesn't appreciate the other's presence at such a time like this. It's like he'd been dumped a sack of ice cubes, pulling him back to reality. 

Jaebeom, not knowing who the man is, doesn't back away. He clings to Youngjae like his life depends on him.

"What's up, man?" Jaebeom asks when Junho doesn't say anything. He's just standing by the door, gaping like a sixteen-year-old virgin who hasn't seen any single porn. 

Junho ignores the question. Instead, he looks straight at Youngjae. "Your father asked if you could get a blanket for the baby. It's getting cold."

Youngjae raises his eyebrow."...okay." he replies. 

They still have a lot to talk about but with Junho in the vicinity, they can't get to it. Youngjae tells Jaebeom to go back to the service, promising him that he'll look for him so they can talk. He just has to finish this thing. 

Literally and Figuratively. 

Youngjae stays to throw the garbage and find a blanket. When he's about to leave the room, he sees Junho waiting for him by the door, his expression unreadable.

 "We should talk."

Youngjae swallows. When he looks at him, all he can see is his wife and daughter. Innocent and perfect. 

"Yeah. We should." he agrees. The disgust he feels for the man is astronomical yet it's not like it's his mess alone. They have to talk and end this.

But for now, Junho's child needs a blanket. 

—•—

Unfortunately, to be able to retrieve a blanket, he has to go to their house. Of course, it's only a few steps away from the funeral home given that a hallway connects the two but still, Youngjae's footsteps get heavier as he goes near. 

The house contains a storm of memories and none of them are easy to reminisce on. He'd rather forget about it, to be honest. 

He mindlessly sorted through the selection of blankets in his brother's room, looking for something that is thick but also not too heavy and big. 

Youngjae gets out of the house immediately after, hating how he grew somber as he stays in. 

When he gets back to the funeral, he feels the urge to go back to the house. 

Yeah, being at his childhood home is so much better than going to a group of people that contains his sugar daddy and his family, Youngjae's own overbearing family, and his ex whom he's making out with a few minutes ago. 

Shit, even their priest is there. Is this the end of the world?

(Technically, Jaebeom and he are still exes, right?)

It didn't help that Jaebeom is carrying the toddler in his arms, his smile too bright. Youngjae had forgotten how much Jaebeom liked kids until he saw the sight. Something about the way he sees the man he loves carrying a child that he unknowingly destroys the family stirs something in him. 

It's pain, guilt, and regret at once. 

If only Youngjae had known. 

Deeming himself not ready to face any of them yet, he turns around to find a safe space to lock himself in. Maybe if he disappears long enough they'll forget about him like they always do. He just has to wait until the rain stops and he'll be out of this place immediately. 

"Youngjae!"

Youngjae freezes, he closes his eyes and counts from one to five. He didn't calm down. Not even a bit. Instead, he feels himself get dizzier. His hands are shaking and he's sure whatever's going to happen, none of them will like it. 

Despite that, he turns around and flashes them a smile. He walks confidently over to them, making sure to step on Jinyoung's foot while he's at it. Fucking bitch practically stopped his plans by calling his name. 

"Sorry, it took so long." He tells them, voice unnaturally joyful. Youngjae faces Jaebeom who is looking at him with a curious gaze. He chooses not to meet his eyes. He wraps the blanket in the kid instead, all while willing his nervous hands to stop shaking. 

If anyone had noticed, no one said anything. 

"It's good that you're here. We're talking about the upcoming graduation." Youngbin tells him. 

He sighed inwardly. Here they are again with the unending boasting. 

"Yeah?" He tries to sound interested. His father gives him a warning glare. 

"Before you come in we're asking about Jaebeom's major. What is it again?" Junho continues. 

"Financial Management," Jaebeom answers shortly. He passes the kid to Youngjae, cooing at her in the process. Youngjae releases a breath he isn't aware that he's holding. How did he end up in this position?

Is he really that weak to be so threatened by a child? Though at this point, he really should be scared.

"You're Miyoung's junior then. Though she had graduated a few years ago."

"But even if I did graduate first, I don't remember seeing you at our department." Miyoung mentions, looking at her baby in Youngjae's arms. The kid looks like she's on the verge of crying and it doesn't help Youngjae's rising nervousness. 

"I was an exchange student from Sophomore to Early Senior Year. I only got back to finish my final semester here." Jaebeom explains. Youngjae slowly feels Jaebeom run circles on his back. He wonders if it's an act of habit or if he noticed his distress. 

"So you're like away for what? More than two years? That must be tough."

"Yeah. Everything is unfamiliar. It took down my mental health and isolated me from everyone."

"Everyone? What about Youngjae? You're dating, right?"

"They aren't." Jinyoung randomly replies. "They've broken up sometime after Jaebeom left."

"Really?"

"Yeah. How did you even know about them? Did Youngjae tell you?" Jinyoung asks. The question is directed to Junho but he's looking at his brother. Youngjae wants to shrink to himself. 

"Yeah, did he?" Jaebeom also asks, wondering how did the dude sound like he knows a lot. 

 "B-but aren't the two of you…?" Junho trails off, alternating between Jaebeom and Youngjae. "Earlier at that room with the coffin, I saw y—"

"It's private. You saw nothing." Jaebeom shuts down the question. He doesn't like private matters to be revealed when it's none of this business anyway. "We're okay. That's what matters."

Miyoung smiles at them apologetically, probably sympathizing because they're being interrogated. "I agree with that. There's no point discussing things like this. Let them figure it out."

"Speaking of that, Father is here. Don't you want to consult him for some problems?" Yoojung says. Youngjae would've facepalmed if he wasn't holding the baby. His mom can't read the room.

There's a pregnant pause after that. 

Youngjae is just cursing his mother in his mind. Jinyoung doesn't seem like he cares while Jaebeom and Youngbin look away. 

The priest stares at the couple expectantly. 

"We're okay," Junho tells the priest, cracking under pressure. 

"We've had some difficulties for a while," Miyoung states, looking down. "Junho was laid off from his work a year and a half ago. It's because of some irregularities in his credibility as a professor. It affected his work as a surgeon. Since that, I've been providing for our family. But it's fine. We've talked it out. We're okay." Miyoung explains. She sounds like she's trying to convince herself than them. 

Youngjae stared hard at Junho. So all this time, the money he gets is actually from Miyoung? 

Shit.

"That's unfortunate. We thought Junho could help our Youngjae with his med school applications." Youngbin says. Jaebeom chokes at this. He tries not to laugh. His family is full of insensitive assholes. Youngjae kicks Jaebeom subtly, willing him to not laugh. 

Junho is looking at them as it happens. Youngjae glares at him hard. 

"Are you staying here? Your business is in another town, right?" Their priest questions. 

"Junho is living in our condominium near the university. He plans to move in with us to our new house but he's still taking care of other things here." 

"We didn't know you have a condo unit here." Yoojung comments. Youngjae's grip on the kid tightens. He knows that condo very well. He's a regular visitor. 

"Oh no, we just rent. I pay for it every month. We figured it would be a waste to buy since his stay is not temporary anyway." Miyoung explains. 

"This guy is a total freeloader," Jaebeom whispers to him. Youngjae pales after hearing the statement. 

Junho and he are literally leeching off a totally good and fine woman! 

Even his parents are looking at Junho oddly. They're probably losing all the ounce of admiration they have for him. He got them good for a while. They thought they could get something from him. 

"Oh no!" Miyoung exclaims. It pulls him out of his reverie. 

The woman rushes to him and gets the baby. She passes her expertly to Junho while she fishes a pack of wet wipes in his bag. 

"She'd drooled on your coat. I'm sorry!" She starts wiping the stain in Youngjae's shoulder when she stills. 

For a moment, she gazes at the coat as if analyzing it. 

"This is a fine coat." She tells him. "It's pretty expensive but it's good quality." Youngjae listens attentively. 

"You know what, I actually bought Junho the same brand last year!" She pauses. "Wait, I think you have identical coats! This is a pretty cool coincidence. It's just sad that I've never seen him wear his at all." 

She probably wouldn't ever. This coat is from Junho. It's not just identical. It's the same. 

"Where did you buy yours?" Miyoung questions. For a moment, he sees something in her eyes. A recognition maybe? Like at that moment, she knows. 

It sends him into overdrive. 

Unable to think of anything, his mind just keeps on supplying an endless stream of What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck!

He doesn't even feel her move away. Or hear that they've moved on to a different topic. Not interested in his answer at all. 

"I'M GRADUATING AS THE TOP OF THE CLASS!" He screams out of panic. Too many things have been continuously getting revealed and he knows one way or another that it doesn't benefit him in any way. 

Is it wrong for him to want this day to end with no one getting hurt? 

With the sudden outburst, everyone turns their attention to him. 

"What?" His mother asks, shocked. 

"What?" He replies, equally surprised. 

"Shit! Congrats! I'm so proud of you!" Jaebeom is the first one to react. He pulls him to a hug in front of everyone, swaying them back and forth while whispering sweet things to his ear. For a moment, everything disappears. He forgets that while it's true that he's the top of the class, it's not for bio. 

At least, he has one in this sea of people who is genuinely proud of him. 

Jaebeom even gives him a few pecks on the lips. It elicits a gasp from his mother and the priest but they don't really give a damn. 

"Well, good for you I guess?" Jinyoung says, not sounding a bit impressed. Youngjae's mood quickly sours. 

But at least, his dad looks happy? Is that even good?

Jaebeom and Youngjae parts. Miyoung hands their kid to a very silent Junho and makes his way to hug Youngjae. 

"I'm pretty sure aiming for medicine is hard. I don't know you at all but I feel so proud of you." She gushes. Youngjae almost wanted to cry. Out of all the people, it's the person that he has a big grievance over that is happy for him. She doesn't sound like the woman who had asked him about his coat a few minutes ago. She's just so kind, it kills him inside to be near her. 

Youngbin gave him a pat when Miyoung released him. "I knew you could do it." He tells him. Youngjae can only flinch at the contact. 

"I think this suggests a congratulatory song for our dear boy." The priest proposes. It causes the others to start clapping their hands, singing congratulations to the tune of the happy birthday song. 

He is pushed to the middle, clueless and lost. It reminds him of being ganged up, people congratulating him when he fucked up more than when he tries his best. This feels so much like it that when he sees Miyoung in front of him, gleefully singing and celebrating his success, it only seems mocking. It makes him feel like no matter how great this success is, his grandiose list of sins will always be bigger. 

The more the song continues, the more his tunnel vision gets worse. He can only see Miyoung and the child, circling over him. Their menacing smiles make him remember all that he did with Junho for the last few years. Their hands, counting how much they've spent together. Miyoung's hard-earned money that he benefited from. In the future, that kid will know and she'll curse him to his death. 

His vision spins until he can't see anyone anymore. All he knows is guilt and pain. 

And despair. 

Then he vomits. 

Everyone gasps. The sound is so scandalous in Youngjae's still delicate mind. He finds himself sinking over the carpet, knees weak—already given up. But he's quickly held up by Jaebeom who's asking him if he's okay. The man keeps on tapping his cheeks, trying to summon back to his senses. 

When he feels like he's himself again, he sees everyone's faces. Different reactions but all with the same hint of dissatisfaction. Who the hell freaks out during a celebratory song?

He removes himself from Jaebeom's hold and rushes to the bathroom. He's pretty sure he still has some leftover bits of bile around his mouth. His coat is ruined and his pants are wet from his vomit. 

Great. Real classy, Choi Youngjae. 

He lets the faucet run, filling the sink before dunking his face in it. Youngjae doesn't raise his head until he's out of breath. 

He does it a few times until he looks at the mirror and sees Junho at the door. He's watching him solemnly. Youngjae feels horrible when he notices the glint of pity in his gaze. 

"Get out!" He screams.

Junho obeys. Youngjae knows that once he steps out of the bathroom, he'll face Junho and they'll finally end this shittery. But imagining them talking in the dim hallway makes him sick to his stomach. He wishes there's a way to end this without interacting with him. 

He soon finds himself wiping his wet face. He takes a deep breath a few times, calming his nerves. Then he steps out. 

"I thought you'd never come out," Junho tells him. 

Youngjae laughs monotonously, acting amused. "The last time I checked, I still have bigger balls than you. Try to check yours again. Maybe it shrank while your wife is providing for you and your string of men."

Junho crosses his arms. "Don't act like you're innocent. You benefited from this too. Do you think you'll graduate without my help?"

"Without your wife's help." Youngjae corrects. Junho shakes his head in disbelief. 

"Does she even know you like men?" He finds himself asking. Youngjae knows he shouldn't be glad to see him become pale but recognizing his cockiness getting out of his body is an out-of-this-world experience. 

"How would she react if she knew? Does your family know? Or is this all included in your long list of secrets? Answer me!"

"It's none of your business." Junho looks away. There's a devil in Youngjae's head conspiring to just reveal everything but wouldn't it be the same as what his aunt had done to him? His liberty of being able to tell people in his own terms is taken away and Youngjae's not that bitter and petty to do the same. 

Not even when the person is as awful as Lee Junho.

"But I think it's my business to know that you have a wife and a child! When we met, Miyoung was probably pregnant! But what? You make me believe you're a bored man with too much money and little to use it on. If I had known, I wouldn't agree at all. No matter how desperate I am." 

"But you still did. You stayed until yesterday. That doesn't change at all no matter how guilty you are."

Youngjae knows that. It's an information but would put him to shame for the years or even decades. "I'm done with this. With you."

Youngjae tries to walk away but Junho stops him. He's bulkier than him and Youngjae feels the intimidation when he traps him between the walls of the hallway. 

"Fuck off, Junho!" He says through gritted teeth. 

Junho leans down to him, trying to steal a kiss, one last desperate act to make him stay. His fight or flight response is triggered. Before he can move an inch, Youngjae kicks his balls as hard as he can. 

The older man falls to the ground in pain. But Youngjae leaves him there, his shoulders getting heavy seeing Jaebeom at the end of the hallway. He definitely saw it all. His eyes don't lie.

"What was that?" Jaebeom asks him immediately. 

Unable to hide it anyway, he says the truth. "That was me breaking up with my sugar daddy and being thoroughly disgusted that I've been unknowingly funded by his rich wife." He tells him, remorse lacing his words. 

In the other room, he can vaguely hear the ongoing mass. Great, everyone is distracted. 

"Sugar daddy?" Jaebeom repeats, confusion evident. 

"Sugar daddy, asukal de papa, benefactor. A guy who fucks you in exchange for money and gifts. You give them atention and company when they're lonely. You name it."

"Why?" He asks accusingly and Youngjae feels hurt at his tone.

"Not everyone has the opportunity to get an education, Jaebeom. I can't survive college working part-time at a convenience store when my parents refuse to acknowledge me because I didn't became who they want me to be."

"But you could've tried to find other alternatives, why do you have to be..." He trails off, looking frustrated.

"A whore." he finishes for him. 

"Jesus, no!" Jaebeom exclaims, panicking and moving to hold him. "That's not what I meant." 

"I don't know, it feels like it." He says, tears falling. Jaebeom hugs him, telling him he doesn't mean it and apologizing over and over. 

Youngjae sobs. "I just wanted to do what I love in a way that I can. Yes, it's wrong but hell, it hurts having you shame me for that. Much more painful than I expected my parents to react."

"What's painful?" His mother suddenly appears, appearing to hear that. "You should know that fighting and screaming while there's a mass in the next room is disrespectful. What's the fuss anyway?"

His mother clearly sees that he's crying in Jaebeom's arms but she doesn't acknowledge it. So he does what he thinks will get a reaction from her. Fuck all of this. He's so done with this shitty family. 

"I dropped out of my pre-med."

It's time for his mother to scream. "What?"

"I did it two weeks after getting into the university. I've been studying film all along."

"And you're not planning on telling us?" His father asks, coming in with Jinyoung in tow. Youngbin is so angry, fists balled. Jaebeom moves to his front, shielding him. 

"Honestly, I'm expecting Jinyoung to snitch on me but apparently, I won this one."

"Not everything's a competition, Youngjae."

"Shut the fuck up!" He shouts, his anger rising. "You don't get to tell me that when your whole life you made it a personal mission to beat me in everything." 

He looks at his mother and smiles sadly. "A short film I made is up for Venice International Film Festival but I doubt that's as valuable as getting into med school. I guess you only have one son anymore." He tells her, remembering the threat he'd received. Consider himself an orphan if he fails his entrance exam for med school. 

Her face becomes red with anger, she tries to get to Youngjae, wanting to slap him. But Jaebeom's in the way, determined to stop her in any way. Youngjae weeps behind him. 

Youngbin pulls her away seeing that there's nothing they can do anymore. But she doesn't want to stop, throwing hands that Jaebeom's receives resolutely. Youngbin tries to get her away again, the mass is already disturbed by her incessant cursing but in the process, she hits the candle by the table.

The table mantle is quickly engulfed in flames. His mother screams in alarm. Youngjae removes himself from Jaebeom's hold. He walks straight to the burning cloth and uses his still wet coat to put it out. 

It's the only formal coat he has, and it's given by his sugar daddy, but seeing it get toast while putting out the fire seems fitting.

His mother gets a nervous breakdown. Before he gets to be the butt of another disaster, Jaebeom pulls him to a restroom, pushing away his father out of the way when he tries to stop them. 

Once inside, he fell to his knees and barfs at the bathtub. 

Jaebeom runs his hands on his back, trying to comfort him. 

"My aunt's going to be pissed that I stole her spotlight."

Jaebeom chuckles. "She'll live." They look at each other a moment, processing what he said and they burst into fits of laughter. 

"I'm sorry. " Jaebeom says when the laughter subsides. "You've run out of apology acceptance vouchers today. Try again tomorrow." He jokes. Feelings are hurt and they said things they shouldn't but for today, they know they have a tomorrow to look forward to and that's enough. 

They're okay. 

Jaebeom pulls him to sit at the toilet cover and cleans him up with a wet towel. 

"You can be a fireman." He jokes when he sees Youngjae zoning out. Youngjae scoffs. 

"What are they going to do now without you?" Jaebeom says. He feels himself crying again so he pulls Jaebeom in a hug, wetting the stomach part of his shirt with tears. 

He doesn't know how long they stayed in the bathroom. When they came out, the storm had stopped and most of the guests were gone. 

Youngjae doesn't bother saying goodbye to his family. He walks straight to the exit, holding hands with Jaebeom all the way through. 

They wait by the street for a taxi when Junho and his family walk by. Junho ignores him, slightly limping as he speeds away. He sees Miyoung looking at him and Jaebeom. For the first time, he smiles at her sincerely and she does the same. 

They're okay.  

They board a taxi. Youngjae looks out the window and sees a rainbow. He turns to Jaebeom, the sunset illuminating his side profile. 

"Tomorrow, I'll still be with you. But I'll make sure it won't be as bad as today." Jaebeom tells him. 

Youngjae laughs. "I think you have to fuck up badly before you can rival to this shittery."

"That, I don't plan to do." Jaebeom intertwined their hands. "You can look forward to brighter days, Jae."

Youngjae rests his head on Jaebeom's shoulder. He looks at their hands. 

All he can think of is peace.

The taxi speeds away and one thing's for sure. 

They're okay.