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“ALVIN,” Dave hollered at the top of his lungs, “Where the fuck are you? You’re going to be late! Get in the car, ass in seat, pronto,”.
Theodore and Simon waited impatiently in the car, both carefully avoiding the gum and other mysterious substances that have been squished into every crevice by their fucking useless, loud-mouthed, obnoxious older brother. After several minutes, the disgusting egotistical asshole sauntered to the car and stepped on his brothers, ignoring their protests, to reach his seat in the car.
“Well boys, It’s time for another great day of ruling the school. You useless fuckers can try to get off your asses and help me continue to establish my dominance as the best student to ever grace its hallways with my swag,” Alvin declared in a high whiny voice.
Dave got into the car, slammed the door, and shouted, “You little shits better not start any more trouble for me today. If I get one goddamn phone call I’m gonna drive out to the desert and leave you ungrateful rats in a cactus,”
“Aww, come on Dave,” Alvin stood and started climbing over the driver's side seat. “You know that it’s not my fault those two idiots always get caught,”.
The small rodent scrambled over the seat and carelessly launched himself into Dave’s face. Dave screamed in terror and swerved the car across the lanes while Theodore and Simon clutched onto each other, shrieking incomprehensible expletives. The road was filled with chaos and honking until there was the sound of screeching metal on metal.
The chipmunks woke up pressed against the windshield of the car and heard arguing, recognizing Dave’s voice as the louder.
“It wasn’t my fucking fault. This goddamn rodent jumped at my face and made me swerve into you, lady. Calm your ass down,” Dave spat at the eccentric-looking woman.
Standing there, calmly staring at him in all of her ethereal, righteous, glory was the Ms. Frizzle, with rage filling her eyes. She glided across the ground and reached a hand out towards Dave’s chest.
“You know, even my students, with all of their misbehavior, have never deigned to so much as damage my darling bus. I don’t think you realize just. How. Much. You’ve. Fucked. Up,” Ms. Frizzle spoke and sparks seemed to fly from the tips of her fingers, eating through Dave’s shirt, singeing him.
Dave yelped and jumped back, “What the fuck! You crazy bitch! What the fuck do you think you’re-” His eyes went black and his mouth froze open in a silent scream as he saw each of his worst fears flash in his mind. The chipmunks running past him as he hobbles towards his 80th birthday party. Shapeless figures emerging from shadows. Eerie music following him as he climbs a steep mountain until he stands at the top and slips on a rock falling down, down, down, down.
Ms. Frizzle smirked as he collapsed to the ground and then stepped past him, training her eyes on the next target.
“Wooahhh, what’d you do to Dave? I’ve been trying to find new ways to freak him out! That was epic!” The dumbass chipmunk, Alvin, rudely chirped. He stood up and pushed away from the windshield while his brothers hid along the dashboard. “Now I know the bus looks bad, but it really is a piece of crap so it was probably already like that,” he continued.
“You must be the rodent that caused this accident. The fucking dumbass that had to be so careless to cause harm to something that I love,” She stepped closer and quickly snatched Alvin out of the car and started to crank back her arm as if she were going to pitch a fastball. It was one, two, three seconds and she released him into the air, watching him soar higher and higher as his screams faded into silence, before rapidly descending and growing louder once again. Using her inhuman strength, the Friz grabbed the car door, rolled it into a tube, and swung just as Alvin reached eye-level. He hit the side of the bus and laid there dazed. Before he could react, he felt himself be pulled from the ground by his shirt and the Friz had her hand pointed towards him using her control of the wind to drag him forward.
“I think it’s time you learn your final lesson. Don’t fuck with me bitch boy,” Ms. Frizzle stated as her eyes glowed, her hair raised straight out around her, and her feet lifted off of the ground. The pressure around Alvin increased rapidly and he began to feel himself compress. He cried out as his bones broke and he became smaller and smaller until all that remained of him was a tiny bundle of fur that was carried away with the wind.
Ms. Frizzle turned towards her bus and was preparing to leave the scene of the accident when Liz, her faithful iguana, jumped down and ran into the car.
“Liz, what could you possibly have to do? We need to get out of here, I don’t want to deal with another inquiry,” she questioned. Liz hissed and picked up Theodore in her mouth, shaking him lightly while Simon whimpered and tried to grab his brother. Frizzle cooed and took Theodore out of Liz’s mouth and picked up Simon.
“Aw, hey cuties, how about you come home with me? We could always use more class pets,” Turning on her heel, Ms. Frizzle walked back to the bus with the chipmunks in her hands and Liz on her shoulders. The wind picked up while she reversed the bus fixing the damage to the bus until it was back in its original state. She had to hurry so she wouldn’t be late to school. There was a field trip today after all.