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i don't want to—
she tells them, “i was just running, didn't notice the stairs and fell, my bad!” giggling with her hands on her back, pressing her nails on her own skin to repress the pain of lying so she won't be a burden.
she doesn't like to lie, being dishonest is one of the things she hates the most. lying felt like something so far away. and it felt icky– she wanted to throw up while hearing herself spit all those lies to sabo and ace.
ace's eyes narrow, while sabo smiles at her, they're quiet, but luffy knows that they're analyzing her. she has known them since she's a toddler, and they're smarter than what others assume they are.
luffy giggles again, and starts walking to her room, like it doesn't matter. like her being hurt, her being so so pathetic and disgusting doesn't matter.
her stomach trembles so she starts to eat from the stack of food she had hidden under her bed.
—die
luffy wakes up with her hands being bloody and her stomach looking worse than it looked in school. she takes a deep breath and goes to the bathroom, avoiding making too much noise, avoiding the rooms where sanji, zoro, nami and the rest are sleeping.
i don't want to—
she enters, locks the door and stares at herself in the mirror. her hair is greasy, her eyes show how tired she is and there's a big bruise that looks kind of green and yellow. it hurts. it hurts so bad but not more than her stomach, that wants more, and more food to make her forget her own misery.
she dumps even more soap in her hands, but the blood isn't going away. the pain isn't going away and she just wants it to stop– “are you okay in there, lu?” nami asks and she lets out a sound that can be interpreted as a yes, nami mumbles something and leaves, not without saying even louder how luffy can trust her.
trust her with what? there is nothing going on with her– but luffy giggles again and screams that she will, hearing annoyed sounds from the other rooms telling her to shut the hell up, it's too early.
her hands are red, but it's not blood anymore. she lets out a relieved sound and cleans the sink.
— lie.
luffy wakes up and she realizes she's late for school, because the first thing she sees in the morning is sabo standing in the door telling her that he's driving her to school.
she declines, telling her brother she's going with franky, who's always late.
he believes her, but not without handing her breakfast so she can eat while walking.
luffy eats. but she's still hungry, the pain in her legs making her stomach claim for more.
she arrives at school, where someone— she can't recognize them, everything seems too blurry, everything seems too empty tells her that she's late and that she… is not okay. but she can't seem to listen, she just mechanically walks to her classroom until she gets grabbed by the arm and led to the infirmary.
the weird miss tries to snap her out of her dreamy state, but luffy feels like she's in a bubble, everything seems to go so fast— but too slow.
she wakes up when chopper says her name followed by a “are you okay?”, she giggles and answers with a yes, but chopper wants to cry and scream at her. he doesn't say anything, and luffy gets hungrier, so the nurse hands her a paper and tells her to go buy something, that she will tell the teachers that she was unwell and needed something to eat to get better. she doesn't let luffy take chopper, as he's doing something important there, but luffy doesn't mind.
she thanks the nurse and runs.
i don't want to—
the sky is so pretty.
luffy feels like floating, once again. the school is so big that she feels like if she just jumped, maybe she could reach it.
she doesn't want to look down.
luffy is not scared of heights, and that's a fact. it's sabo the one who is, but he seems to hide it pretty well when he's in big buildings. sabo was always funny when scared, when they were little. he acted so polite– but so childish at the same time.
luffy isn't scared of heights, she used to be. but not anymore. what scared her when little was falling, falling from their house rooftop, because she didn't want to–
—die
but now… now…
it seemed so… close to her.
how did she end up there? it was a question she couldn't answer herself.
she blinked.
"i'm hungry".
only one finger was keeping her from falling, and she thought–
if shanks saw me now, what would he think?
but shanks wasn't there, he was… teaching. yes. teaching… unaware of what she was doing, in the top of the building with only some seconds before she fell to her death.
one finger.
if shanks saw her, if shanks knew, would he still be proud of her? even if she wasn't the little boy he hoped her to be and grow up as?
she let go–
i don't want to die.
–but she screamed.
i don't want to die.
i don't want to die.
shanks. nami. robin. sanji. chopper. franky. brook. zoro.
sabo. ace.
i don't want to die–
–and you won't.
someone grabbed her and threw her to the side.
"what the fuck do you think you are doing?"
luffy's not hungry anymore.
the man in tattoos grabs her shoulders and tries to make her react, until luffy starts to sob and grabs his shirt and just screams out of pure agony.
he shakes and holds her roughly, mutters some words, but she can't hear him anymore. she just feels how they are walking, then a door closes, then they are going down the stairs.
luffy's not hungry but her stomach feels weird.
they stop in a classroom that's empty, they probably went out– maybe for p.e class. the man grabs something from a backpack and starts bandaging her up after leaving her on the floor.
she didn't notice she was hurt, but it wasn't something surprising to her.
“i'm luffy,” she lets out.
“law.” he says, not even bothering to look at her. “what was a boy like you” he doesn't try to hide his disgust– probably because she's well known in the school. the problem child who made a teacher quit. “doing in there?” he doesn't seem demanding, if she didn't answer, he wouldn't pry for more answers.
but he saved her– from dying. she… could do something about it, at least. it wasn't like they were in the same class, after all. and he didn't seem… bad. even with all those tattoos, he seemed… so genuine, cold, but honest with what he felt.
“i'm a girl.” she spits out, and he raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything. “you– saved me.” she repeats her thoughts.
“i did.” he cleans one of her wrist injuries, narrowing his eyebrows at noticing the poor treatment this had.
“you did.” she repeats “so– thank you.” she feels weird. not acting so bubbly, so warm like any other days.
she doesn't feel like acting that, in the cold classroom with a guy she just met.
“'kay.” he mumbles, looking at her for the first time. “show me your leg, you hit yourself when i threw you to the other side.”
she does and he stops when he sees all the scars. not self–inflicted, of course. he doesn't ask, he seems as tired as he looked the whole time, but there's a muscle that's too tight on his jaw and she notices how he represses himself to say something.
“it hurts.” she mumbles.
“i know it does.” he answers.
they are quiet for a few seconds.
“there's some guys who were bothering me a week ago– and this week, too.” she opens up, and he stares at her again. “they called me names– and told me i looked like a girl, or like a…”
“don't.” he intervenes. “i know what they said.”
“they started picking on me more often, but i didn't tell my friends, or my brothers–”
“you were scared, were you?” he seems to read her so easily. it's scary, but she can do it with him, too. he's closed to everyone, but she can read his emotions like an open book.
that happened with everyone else, they were– so simple to understand. he was just like them.
“i was. still am.” she feels defeated, and hungrier, one again.
he finished bandaging and taking care of her injuries, so he stands up.
he seems to think something, debating between something about her, she notices. luffy giggles softly at the thought. finally, after a few seconds, he lends his hand to her.
“come. let's go to the principal.” she accepts his hand. “i will tell him, you just– need to tell me their names, or class, if you know it.”
“i do.” luffy says, starting to walk out of the classroom.
she doesn't feel hungry anymore.