Work Text:
Bet your window's rolled down and your hair's pulled back
And I bet you got no idea you're goin' way too fast
You're tryin' not to think about what went wrong
Tryin' not to stop 'til you get where you goin'
You're tryin' to stay awake so I bet you turn on the radio
And the song goes
"Hailey?"
With a groan Hailey wipes her mouth and reaches up to flush the toilet before falling back onto the floor. The coldness of the bathroom tiles is a welcoming feeling, helping to cool her body. Her left hand rubs small circles over her stomach and she swings her right arm over her eyes just as Jay flips on the light.
He chuckles slightly as he takes in the sight of his wife sprawled out on the bathroom floor, dressed in an over sized T-shirt and leggings, her curls wild and her skin now flushed. "You okay in here?"
With another groan Hailey shakes her head. "No. When does this sickness crap end?" She turns her head and watches as he moves to sit down in the floor next to her. He rests his back against the side of the tub and pulls her head to rest in his lap. He runs a hand over her hair and she lets out a sigh as her nausea subsides momentarily.
"I know it sucks but it will hopefully be over with soon. And it is going to be so so worth it." He smiles down at her lovingly.
She raises an eyebrow at him and he bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at her expression. "Says you who doesn't have to be sick or carry this kid buddy."
"I know, I know." He continues to run his hand through her hair. "And I'm so thankful. I know I couldn't do it and that is why you're the strong one in this relationship."
"Now you're just being a kiss ass." She rolls her eyes and this time he laughs.
"How about we talk to your OB and get you something for the nausea?"
"We can do that?" It's the first time in weeks she's been hopeful there was an end in sight. She was only slightly mad at him for just now suggesting the idea when she'd been sick for going on two weeks.
He nods. "Nothing else is helping you. Not crackers or ginger. It's been a few weeks since you've started this all day nausea and you've already lost 5 pounds which is not good. We have to do something."
Hailey sighs as she slowly but surely sits up. She lets out another sigh of relief when she successfully sits up without the overpowering feeling of needing to throw up. "Sounds good to me. Make yourself useful and grab her in the halls at some point today eh?"
This time Jay rolls his eyes as he moves to stand up. "Sure thing." He holds out his hand and she smiles up at him before taking it and allowing him to pull her onto her feet. "Anything for my babies."
"Perks of being married to a doctor." Hailey laughs and Jay chuckles softly in response. "You're such a sucker already Halstead." She murmurs as she snakes her arms around his waist. She rests her head on his chest and closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped in her husbands strong embrace.
He chuckles before placing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Don't I know it." He squeezes her tighter to him and the two stand in silence for a few moments before he looks down to see her falling asleep against him. "Come on Hailey Anne let's get you back to bed. It's still early, you can still get a few more hours sleep before work."
She nods her head against his chest letting out a perfectly timed yawn before looking up and locking eyes with him. "Okay just let me brush my teeth then I'll meet you back in bed."
Jay nods before turning to head back into their bedroom, leaving Hailey alone once more in the bathroom. Her hand comes to rest on her slightly rounded out stomach as she turns toward the sink. Her face turns as her stomach once more rolls. "Take it easy on me, kiddo. Please."
Jay and Hailey wake a few hours later and start getting ready for their day. Jay was the first up and in the shower so by the time Hailey comes out of the bathroom ready for her day, Jay was long in his scrubs and walking into the bedroom with two steaming hot cups of coffee.
She gratefully accepts the cup and leans up on her tip toes to kiss him before turning to her dresser. She takes a swig of the coffee and sits it down as she makes her way to the closet to get her gun and badge out of the safe. She attaches them both to her side and turns to find Jay sitting on the bed. He was slipping on his tennis shoes but his eyes were trained on her.
"You good over there?" She asks with a laugh as she trades her engagement ring and wedding band for the pink silicone ring she wears at work for safety.
Jay finishes tying the laces of his shoe and rests his foot back on the ground before taking a deep breath and asking what's been on his mind. He knew it wasn't going to be a fun conversation with his hard headed wife.
"Have you thought anymore about telling Voight?"
Hailey groans. "Jay, not this again -" She starts as she turns to him in full defense mode.
He holds a hand up to her before she unleashes on him. "Hailey we can't keep ignoring this. You're already pushing twelve weeks and you've got a tiny hint of a bump that you didn't have last week. He has to know."
"I'm well aware of this Jay!" She snaps as her arms cross over her chest, eyebrow rose.
Jay stays seated on the bed and watches as she moves toward him. He could practically feel the anger radiating off of her. "Then you need to tell him, Hailey! You should not have been in the field all this time but if you're showing it's time to take yourself out! For your protection and for this baby!"
"OH!" Hailey shouts and he cringes slightly. "So now I'm not protecting my baby?" She was now standing in front of him, hands on her hip. "I'm purposely putting him or her in danger? What kind of mother do you think I am that I would willingly hurt my baby, Jay?" She was pissed.
"Our baby." He corrects her as he stands up, shifting the dynamic quickly. He looks down at her, and she glares back up at him. "And I'm not saying you would put this baby at risk. I just think it's safer if you pull yourself from the field now while you still can. Kevlar only covers and protects so much Hailey."
Hailey knew what he was saying was true but she was having a hard time hearing him. He did not understand where she was coming from in this moment.
Before going to med school Jay had been enlisted in the Army. He did two tours with the Rangers before being medically discharged. He and Hailey had been together at the time, being high school sweethearts, and she had nearly lost him. He knew he would never be able to withstand that life again and instead had followed in his brothers footsteps in becoming a Doctor. He had made his old man proud as well, for once in his life.
Hailey had gone on to study criminal justice at CCU before joining the police academy. She spent the years that Jay was in school being a rookie and eventually working her way up the ladder to Detective.
"You just don't understand Jay!" She groans as she throws her head back and he raises an eyebrow at her, challenging her.
"I don't understand what?"
"How hard this is for me!" She shouts, her arms flailing around as she does so. "Of course I want to protect this baby! More than anything in me, Jay! I would die for this baby already." Her hand comes to rest on her stomach protectively and Jay's eyes snap to her middle. "But I've had to work my ass off to get where I am because of who I am!" She's no longer screaming, but her voice is still bitter. "Women have it harder in my field. We have to work twice as hard to prove that we belong. That we didn't shake our ass for the right person or sleep our way to the top. I love my job Jay, I can't just give it up."
"I'm not asking you to." He reminds her. "Just maybe ride the desk for the next little bit. Voight will understand."
She shakes her head. "It's not that easy, Jay."
He stares at her for a moment before shaking his head. Clearly they were not going to come to some sort of a resolution and for that, he was pissed. He understood how hard it had been for Hailey career wise. He knew she had worked her ass off to get where she was as she was the ONLY detective in a top elite unit of the CPD. The only female detective at that. He was beyond proud of her. But he was also worried about her and his unborn child.
"Where are you going?" Hailey asks as he turns to walk out of the room.
"To work. I can't look at you right now."
"Jay!" She shouts after him but is met by silence. She waits a moment and she hears the front door shut. With a sigh, and tears in her eyes, she moves to plop back on the bed.
I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby
I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby, hm baby
"You look like shit." Will Halstead says walking up to the desk of the ED where his younger brother stood on the computer looking at his patients CT results.
"Good morning to you too, William." Jay says with an eyeroll. He doesn't bother to look up at his brother and Will raises a questioning eyebrow at him.
"What crawled up your ass?"
Jay sighs as he signs out of the patient chart and reaches for his iPad. He steps around the table and begins to walk with Will. "Sorry, long morning. Hailey and I had a fight."
Will nods knowingly. "Let me guess." Jay turns to look at his brother. "She still hasn't told Voight." Will was basically the only person who knew about the pregnancy at this rate. Partly because Will really was Jay's best friend, but mostly because he caught them coming out of the OB wing when Hailey first found out.
"Nope." Jay sighs. "Or anyone at work for that matter. I know Kev has her back, he's her partner. But I would just feel better if someone knew and kept an extra set of eyes on her."
"That's understandable."
"Not according to her," Jay says following his brother into the Doctor's lounge. He takes a seat at the table while Will moves to fix himself a cup of coffee. "She got super pissed at me. I got angry back, it wasn't good at all."
"You're just worried about her, she knows that." Will moves to sit down at the table across from him. "But you also have to think how hard this is for her. What all she's going to be giving up."
"I know it's hard and I know it's a lot to ask." Jay runs a hand over his face in frustration. "But we waited years to finally start this family and she was in agreement and ready to do this." He lets out a frustrated groan. "I just don't know man." Will claps him on the shoulder.
"Just call her. Apologize. It'll make you feel better to hear her voice. You two can finish your argument later." Jay nods knowing his brother was right.
"When did you get so wise?" He asks with a chuckle and Will smirks standing to head out to see a patient. Maggie had just stuck her head in the door for him.
"Always have been man you just doubt me."
Jay couldn't argue with that so he just nods in agreement as Will leaves him sitting alone in the lounge. He pulls his phone out of his jacket pocket and dials Hailey's number, knowing that Will was right and he'll just feel better from hearing her voice. Even if they were fighting.
He waits until he hears her voicemail and sighs, hanging up the phone. He shoots her a quick text asking her to call him when she gets a chance just as Maggie sticks her head in the door again, this time for him.
The highway won't hold you tonight
The highway don't know you're alive
The highway don't care if you're all alone
But I do, I do
The highway won't dry your tears
The highway don't need you here
The highway don't care if you're coming home
But I do, I do
Hailey spent the next 45 minutes after Jay left for working laying in their bed crying. She wasn't so sure why she was crying over this fight. It definitely wasn't even in the top 5 of her and Jay's worst fights they've had over the years, but she couldn't stop herself.
Damn hormones. She was already so sick of them.
Laying in bed trying to calm herself and her emotions had made her late for work. She was just about to text Voight to apologize and let him know something came up, making her late, when her phone rings on the beside table.
With a groan she pushes herself up and moves to the other side of the room to grab her phone, just as it stops ringing. She groans as she unlocks it and sees the call had been from Jay. A text immediately following. She starts to dial his number as her phone rings once more.
She rolls her eyes. "Upton."
"Yo girl," Kevin says through the phone. "You sound like you're in a mood. What's wrong?"
Hailey rolls her eyes at her partner as she heads downstairs. "I don't want to talk about it."
"It have anything to do with why you're late and not at work yet?" He asks with a chuckle.
"Shut up, it's been a morning." She mutters.
"Ahh, trouble in paradise?" He teases and Hailey rolls her eyes at her friend for the second time.
"Were you calling for any particular reason?" She asks, laughing slightly.
"Yeah," Any hint of teasing now gone from his voice. "We have a scene. I was already on my way over to make sure you were okay when Adam called with the scene. Want me to swing by and pick you up?"
"That'd be great actually."
"Alright, I'm 5 minutes out." Hailey nods and heads to grab her coat.
True to his word Kevin arrives at her place five minutes later. She quickly runs to his car, thankful for the heat that was now full blast. It was a bitter cold November morning and the ground was already covered in snow. Not the first of the season, either.
Kevin puts the car in drive and heads toward the crime scene the rest of their unit was currently working. "You good girl?" He asks eyeing her slightly before turning back to the road.
"Just a small fight with Jay. Nothing pressing," She lets out a frustrated sigh as she looks up from her phone. Of course she had forgot to charge her phone the night prior and it had just died in her hands before she had a chance to reply to Jay or call him. "Hey you have a charger?"
He nods his head to the backseat where his bag lay. "I have the bullet in the console already but you'll have to grab the cord."
"Life saver." She says unbuckling her seat belt and leaning over the seat to reach for his bag. "You're literally saving my marriage because if I don't respond he may divorce me."
Kevin laughs. "Yeah right. That boy has it too bad to divorce you."
Hailey laughs lightly and rolls her eyes as she turns back around, cord in hand. She looks over at Kevin, who was watching her with a knowing look. Before she can say anything in response, she looks up and her eyes widen. "Kev!"
Kevin turns his attention back to the road and his eyes widen as he sees the young boy in the middle of the road, reaching for his sled. He yanks the wheel and the car swipes to the side, nearly missing the little boy. However, he looses control as the car slams head on into a telephone pole.
The last thing he hears before he looses consciousness is the crunch of metal hitting wood, and Hailey's blood curdling scream as she flies through the windshield.
I bet you got a dead cell phone in your shotgun seat
Yeah, I bet you're bendin' God's ear talking 'bout me
You're tryin' not to let the first tear fall out
You're tryin' not to think about turnin' around
You're tryin' not to get lost in the sound
But that song is always on
So you sing along
"Still nothing?" Will asks walking up to his brother. Jay was currently behind the desk of the ED, his phone in hand as he tried to call Hailey once again. Despite the fact that they were fighting, it was unlike Hailey to not answer several calls in a row. He was beginning to get nervous.
Jay shakes his head as he pockets his phone once more. "No, she's starting to freak me out. I know she's pissed but I've called her three times and she hasn't answered."
"Maybe she's busy." Will shrugs trying to reason with him.
Jay shakes his head. "She usually gives me a heads up before a raid so I know not to bother her. Somethings going on Will, I'm telling you."
"I'm sure she's fine,"
"Halstead 1 & 2," Maggie says motioning for them as she glances down at the hand held she was carrying. "Incoming MVC, two victims. One critical. You're both up!"
I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby
Jay and Will both pause their conversation and head toward the bay doors as they slip on a pair of gloves. They make their way to the Ambo just as the door flies open and the paramedic jumps out, rattling off the details they need to know.
"Single vehicle MVC victim. 30 year old female with multiple internal injuries, multiple fractures and suspected head injury. She was thrown from the vehicle. LOC on scene, intubated on scene." The paramedic turns back to the rig to face her partner.
Seeing as Jay was clearly needed for this patient, Will turns to head to the other ambulance as it pulls up.
"Patient coded on scene, we were able to regain heart rate after several minutes. GCS4, BP 60 palp, heart rate tachy at 168. Respiration's 8. Unable to contact next of kin, name on license showed Hailey Halstead."
I can't live without you, I can't live without you baby, oh baby
The moment her name leaves the lips of the woman standing in front of him; Jay freezes. Will's head snaps toward them from across the bay, his eyes wide. He quickly passes his patient, who he has since learned was Kevin, on to Dr. Choi before joining his brother.
Just when Jay thinks he heard the PIC in front of him wrong, he finally catches a first look at the body being pulled out of the rig. First thing he notices about her is her crazy curly blonde hair. His hand itches to comb through it just like he had done earlier that morning. But now, her hair is now caked with blood and he thinks he might throw up.
"Dr. Halstead?" The paramedic asks reading his scrubs. "Any relation?"
Jay nods weakly as he takes her hand in his. "She's my wife."
The two paramedics eyes widen as Jay snaps out of his trance and back into trauma surgeon mode. "Bay one, let's go!" He shouts and the three of them take off in the door, Will following closely behind.
"Jay, you can't treat her and you know it!" Will scolds him from the door of trauma bay one, as he watches his younger brother assess Hailey's limp body, shouting out orders to Maggie and Casey who were both watching him with wide eyes.
"Like hell I can't!" He snaps back and turns to Casey who was still standing back not sure what to do. She glances from Jay to Will to Connor and Mrs. Goodwin who have since appeared in the doorway with the commotion.
"Dr. Halstead step away from the patient!" Mrs. Goodwin commands and the tone of her voice is the first to break through his slight freak out. His eyes snap to her, wide. "Dr. Rhodes is now taking over treatment." At that, Connor steps around her and moves to the opposite side of the bed to start his assessment. He quickly rattles off the same commands Jay had moments prior, however this time Casey and Maggie jump to do what they're told.
"Mrs. Goodwin," Jay starts but she shakes her head.
"I'm sorry Jay; she's your wife. You can not treat her, now step back and allow Dr. Rhodes to do everything he can to help her."
"She's in good hands, Jay." Will adds and Jay's head snaps from his brother and boss to Hailey, who was still unconscious in the bed in front of him.
Connor looks up from where he had been listening to her stomach and lungs. "I've got her Jay, I promise."
Reluctantly Jay nods and steps back, allowing Will to pull him from the room and into the ED.
Will wraps an arm around his brother, holding him up as they watch Connor and Casey roll Hailey out of the room and toward the elevator.
"Connor," Jay calls out weakly, his eyes full of tears.
"I've got her, Jay." Connor assures him and Jay nods just as the elevator doors close, taking Connor and Hailey out of his sight.
"Jay," Will's hand is now on Jay's shoulder as he tries to steer him out of the way of a few passing patients and Doctors.
Tears now flow steadily down his cheeks as he turns to his big brother. "I can't lose her Will, I can't lose either of them."
Will nods knowingly as he now directs his brother toward the elevator. "I know, and you're not going to. They're going to be fine."
"That can't be the last conversation I ever had with her man," Jay is now sobbing at this point and Will is at a loss on how to console his normally non emotional brother. "She can't die thinking I was pissed at her and didn't trust get."
The highway won't hold you tonight
The highway don't know you're alive
The highway don't care if you're all alone
But I do, I do
"How is she doing?" Natalie asks moving to stand next to Will. They were currently standing in the gallery watching as Ethan operated on Hailey. Jay stood with them, however his mind was a million miles away as he watched his wife; clinging desperately to the hope she would pull through this.
Will shakes his head. "She's has free fluid in the abdomen. Turns out a ruptured spleen so Connor is removing that now." Will runs a hand over his face tiredly. "She suffered a compound fracture of the leg. Ortho has already repaired and will cast it. They suspected a neck or spinal fracture but luckily both were negative." By now Natalie is shaking her head in disbelief as she turns to look at her sister in law laying on the operating table.
"Connor suspected a TBI and CT shows she suffered a subdural hematoma. Dr. Abrams was able to place a catheter and drain it. All in all it looks as if she will be ok."
"That's a relief," Natalie says letting out a sigh of relief she didn't realize she was holding in. "Now how's Jay?" She asks glancing from her husband to her brother in law.
Wills eyes follow hers and he sighs. "He won't move from that spot. I've tried everything. He says he can't relax until he knows they're both ok. Doesn't matter what Connor tells him, he won't believe it until she's out of surgery."
"I can hear you two, you know." He mutters, his eyes never leaving the OR in front of him. "I'm not deaf."
Natalie pats her husbands knee lightly before standing and making her way over to Jay. She wraps an arm around him and hugs him tight to her side. "Jay, she's going to be fine. Hailey is one of the toughest people I know."
He doesn't say anything, just nods his head, and returns her hug. It was comforting at that moment.
Natalie turns her attention from Hailey to Jay once more. "So dad, tell me. How's my niece or nephew?" She already knew exactly how the baby was doing from Will's text, but she was willing to try anything at this rate to help distract him.
It works. Jay smiles his first real smile in the last 6 hours. "The baby is doing great. Miraculously unscathed and going strong. Maternal/fetal medicine has already examined and signed off."
"That's great news." She smiles and hugs him tighter. "Baby Halstead is doing great and it's momma is going to be just fine too."
Jay nods, his eyes tearing up once more.
Natalie nods her head over her shoulder. "Jay, you've been standing here for hours. Come on and sit down. Hailey would want you taking care of yourself right now. She's in good hands with Connor."
Reluctantly Jay nods but agrees, moving to sit in the chair next to his brother. Will hands him a water bottle and he downs it in seconds before leaning back and running a hand over his face. He was exhausted.
Will turns to his wife in amazement. He wasn't sure how she had done that so easily, he had been trying for hours, but he was so thankful for her. 'Thank you'he mouths to her.
She offers him a sly nod of the head and a quick wink.
The highway won't dry your tears
The highway don't need you here
The highway don't care if you're coming home
But I do, I do
The next few days are touch and go as Jay waits for Hailey to wake. Dr. Abrams and Connor had agreed it would be best to keep Hailey sedated given her head injury.
This nearly drove Jay insane.
The Doctor and trauma fellow in him knew it was the best course of action. Hailey needed to rest and heal. However, the husband and father side of him was growing more impatient as time ticked by. He refused to leave her side. Never once did he leave, his brother and friends bringing him food and clothes from home. He slept every night in the uncomfortable recliner next to her bed.
He just longed to see those beautiful baby blues he had fallen in love with so many years prior.
Five days after the initial accident, Dr. Abrams concluded Hailey's scans were clear and she was stable enough to be weaned off her sedation. Dr. Rhodes was happy with her progress as well and he began the process as Jay stood by her side, holding her hand.
When Hailey's eyes finally open, he nearly collapses he's so relieved. He steps back into the corner allowing Connor and Dr. Abrams to conduct their exams. Hailey keeps her attention on him.
Eventually she's cleared and both Doctors leave the room to get back to work and allow married couple some time alone.
"Jesus Hailey Anne, you scared the hell out of me." He says moving to sit on the side of the bed. He grabs her hand in his, brushing over the ring he had placed on her finger again after surgery. "Never do that again."
Hailey laughs weakly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm just so glad you're okay." He says leaning down and pressing his lips to her. He pulls back a moment later. "Do you remember what happened?"
She shakes her head and he spends the next few minutes filling her in on the events of the accident that Kevin has since told him of, to the extent of her injuries and surgeries.
Hailey's head is swimming by the time he's done.
"Is Kev okay?" She asks, worry filling her at the thought of her partner and close friend. Jay nods and she lets out a sigh of relief.
"Few broken ribs from the impact and a nasty head lac but that's it. He's been here every day, worried sick about you. He thinks you'll hate him."
"I could never." She shakes her head before glancing up at him. "Do you? Since he was driving?"
Jay shakes his head immediately. "Not at all. He and I have discussed it. He saved you. Once he came around at the scene he got to you before the ambo arrived. He rendered aide to keep you stable until help arrived and helped to keep you calm. I owe him more than I could ever repay him."
Hailey doesn't say anything, instead reaches out and intertwines her fingers with his. She sits in silence for a few moments, and Jay does the same as he watches her play with his hand. Suddenly her eyes widen and bee shoots her head back up to look at him.
"Oh my god Jay, the baby." Her voice is full of panic. "Tell me the baby is ok."
Jay smiles, his hand coming to rest on her stomach that was now definitely beginning to resemble a baby bump. "The baby is perfectly fine and a true miracle." He watches as Hailey swallows hard. "He or she shouldn't be here after the trauma you experienced but baby Halstead is unscathed and perfectly healthy. Right on track for 13 weeks as you've been out of it for almost a week."
Hailey's head falls back as she lets out a sob of relief. "Oh come here," he says moving to sit up in the bed next to her. He wraps an arm around her and pulls her into his side, kissing her temple. "You're okay Hails, I'm right here. You're both okay. I love you both so much."
I can't live without you, I can't live without you, baby