Chapter Text
I realize that all my life I have been coasting along as if I was in a dream. Suddenly, facing the trials of the last few days, I have come alive.
3E 431, Frostfall the 19th
I can't believe my luck, I thought the snow would at least settle down a bit on my way through the pass. But no, more and more snow every day. Once I make it into Cyrodiil I'll probably never want to see any snow again! I hate this. I hate the pass, leaving ma, leaving Skyrim, leaving my old life. It was my only option though. Bandits attacked the small cottage I lived in. I had to flee, so I decided to go on the pass into Cyrodiil.
I only hope I have the chance to return one day. Even if the place is a ruin, I just want to be able to see and remember the old life I had...
It was some time in the day, I couldn't tell from all the snow. I could hear nothing else but the snow swirling and twirling. So that was a week of my life. Snow, snow, and more snow. The pass was the most winding path I've ever been down. My food was almost completely gone and I still had no clue how long I had to go. I had lost my fur cloak which was even worse. It had been blown off my body and flew off the side of the mountain. My luck was terrible, I had no idea it could be so bad. I had the bare minimum of clothing too. I had a leather curiass wrapped tightly over a rough-spun tunic and I wore tundra cotton trousers. They stood no chance against the cold though, I had soon run out of firewood and could not find any more for days at a time.
I had no idea how I made it out of there, but all I can say is that I was glad I did. It felt like any moment I would fall to my knees and freeze. I was so close to doing so, when I saw that the winding path that hugged the mountains was stretching out. I began to see trees as I walked past and even better, deer. I had killed one with my shortbow I had brought along with me, but it snapped once I let the arrow loose. I had arrows left, but no bow to put them in. I just threw them into the snow beside me as I walked.
That night was better, the snow had eased down a considerable bit but I still could barely see. I had managed to find burnable wood and light that up for a small fire. Then the deer I had hunted was tossed on it, soon to be in my very eager stomach. I fought off the chill as best as I could, I didn't know how the Nords could stand something like this. Being an Imperial, I never knew how they managed to live in such conditions. I was wishing I was a Nord then though, the chill would've been a lot more easy to sleep through if that was the case.
I shivered all over, feeling the relentless snow try to kill me. I had rolled out my bedroll under a small tree I managed to find. I didn't use my tent as I lost it a while on my way through the pass. It was nabbed by a wandering bandit and his friends. They fortunately didn't kill me. Once they stole what little money I had and my tent, I saw why they could stand being out there; they were dressed in fur armour! The one thing I didn't have, warm clothing. But they didn't take my bow and dagger which struck me as odd. They took my axe though, which was one of the worst things they could do. I was just lucky they didn't steal all my food, or kill me for that matter.
After watching the sky for a while, waiting to see if the sky would clear up, without any luck, I nestled into the small sleeping fur I had and closed my eyes, trying to get to sleep. The fur I had was the warmest thing I had at the time, nearly as warm as the unruly fire at my feet. Soon after though I had fallen into a dream, one that I can't remember, and stayed that way until morning. Morning was no warmer than night it seemed. The fire had died out but the snow did not return, I said a quick prayer to Kynareth for that one. I had no idea why the snow stopped, but all I could do was be thankful for it. Still, it was more than painful to get out of the fur I had slept in and let loose all the heat I had trapped in it.
But I continued on, making sure to step along the path, until I wanted to get swallowed by the snow. It was even chillier without the snow than with it, which struck me as odd. The sun was out and I was in a shadow, I assumed that was it and made sure to bask in the light and warmth of the golden ball in the sky before continuing my journey. I came across no-one throughout the day; all I ended up seeing was a few deer run past, taunting my starving body.
3E 431, Frostfall the 21st
Day was boring. A lot of walking though, which I became tired and weary of after half-way through the pass. At least I'm nearly out of it. I can see the snowy mountains of Cyrodiil from here. It is a great sight, one I wish I could see better. From my location I can't see much. I hope to reach my first city or town soon. It would be best if I was able to make it out of the cold for at least a few days. Would do wonders for me and my resolve.
I have to say, it is lonely out here. I haven't seen another living soul after my encounter with bandits. I'm sure I will reach civilization soon if I ever make it off this damned pass.
The sun was about halfway across the sky, meaning it was about noon. One of the mountains blocked the sun out though and left me in the cold. The air was still threatening to freeze me alive, and again I found myself wishing I was a Nord. Or at least to be in a warm bed, it was then when I realized that I didn't even remember what it was like to be in a soft, warm bed, fully anyway. I had been on the road for a few months at the time. I didn't want to stay in Skyrim after what happened to my family and people were less than happy to accept someone into their home and supplies.
Going to Cyrodiil meant I could start all over again. I could be anyone I wanted, a nobleman, a thief, an assassin, perhaps even a bard! But alas, I could never chose to be someone I wasn't. I was just the bastard son of a father who died adventuring. My mother was a woman who was perpetually sick with a case of rockjoint. It limited all of her movements. Disabling her from doing many complex tasks which I had to do instead.
I miss her, and father too. I had known my father briefly before he died. He would return from a month of adventure and always have a sack of gold for the family to use. He always wore two small necklaces, one for Talos and another for Kynareth. The two of us loved Lady Kyne; I still do. The day before he adventured one last time he gave me both. As a gift. As a promise to come home. But he never did.
I had to find my way in the world, and by starting again was how I planned to go the rest of the way. After losing the small cabin ma and I had lived in I knew I had to go elsewhere, away from the land of ice and snow. Down to someplace where no-one would know who I was. Easier said than done.
The sun eventually showed its face once more, when it was later in the day. About mid-afternoon, a time to warm the soul and body. After a few more hours of walking, long enough to make the sun just be over the mountains, not to be seen until the next day, I saw what looked to be an old fort. I always avoided places like it, but the snow and clouds were setting back in and the last thing I needed was to be lost in the snow forever. The fort was certainly abandoned, it had to be. The whole place looked like it would topple over if I breathed too hard in it's direction.
I found a small nook in one of the main buildings and it formed a small, roofed hut. I lit what fire I could inside the place, making sure to sleep on the opposite side of the floor. It wasn't the most comfortable place I had ever slept in but it was better than being out in the icy wind and blinding snow. I only hoped that nobody else would see me here and take what little I had or end my life. I had gone too far for it to end there, shivering for warmth by a fire in an old ruined fort.
The next day was better than the last one. After walking for a few hours longer I finally made it out of the pass and into Cyrodiil. It was the best sight I had seen in weeks. The air was still freezing, and the snow underfoot still threatened to bury me under a pile of snow with one wrong step, but I was in Cyrodiil. The sun seemed a bit warmer too, as soon as I made the realization. And then I saw it; the White-Gold Tower, standing proud in the centre of the Imperial City. I looked for a closer settlement and couldn't find one. Until I looked up.
I saw a fort at the top of a very steep slope. It looked to be the most well-guarded thing I had ever seen. It looked like it would at least take me half a day to climb it, if I was at full strength and energy which certainly wasn't the case. I guessed it would take me a good full day to make it up to the top. So I didn't bother waiting and began to climb. A few hours in and my legs were burning with the most searing pain I had ever felt. I ended up having to take more breathers than I would've wanted. And by the time the sun was down I had only made it up about half way.
The next day proved a little bit more fruitful, and I made it up to the top of the fortress and stood right in front of the lumbering wooden gates. I knocked thrice on the gate with the butt of my hand and heard a reply a few moments later.
“Who's there?!” Shouted a man from the top of the stone wall.
All I could manage to do was bang again.
“Show yourself! Now!” The man shouted again.
I managed in a voice barely audible. “Open the gates, please.”
The man huffed which surprised me, it meant he had heard my voice. And a few moments later he was barking orders at a few of the people below to open the gates.
I saw the gates opening up and fell to my knees, my energy level too low to keep me upright. It must've been a pathetic sight. A man with a small, shaggy beard and some of the most raggedy clothes they had probably ever seen and the most defeated man at their gate, begging for entry. One of the people, a woman dressed in some of the finest armour I had ever seen with a sword the likes of which I was unfamiliar with, stared at me with pity in her eyes.
Another man leaned his head closer to the woman's and whispered something inaudible to me, but judging from what the woman said after, it was not hard to guess what he had said. “Of course we should let him in! I mean look at him,” The man took another glance at my defeated figure. “He's in bad shape, we should take him in for a small while.”
“I'm not sure if we should, the Captain here wouldn't be very happy...” The man trailed off, clearing thinking that they should just kill me or something.
Fortunately the woman defended me quite well. “I don't care what he thinks! I doubt he would like seeing a dead body clinging to the gates either.”
“Fine! Bring him in. But he's your problem!” The man huffed, returning to his post.
“Bu...” The woman started to protest but realized it was no use. “Ugh, fine.”
She took a few strides towards me until she felt she was close enough to me. “Can you stand?” Her tone was cold, but seemed like she was trying to cover up her sincerity.
I weakly shook my head.
“Then how am I supposed to get you in here?”
I shrugged, slowly feeling my eyes close from pure exhaustion.
“Hey, stay awake.”
I tried my best to follow her orders, but the last I remembered of our conversation was my eyes closing and the small feeling of falling.
* * * * *
I awoke feeling warmer than I ever had felt before. I was lying in a small cot in a room I didn't recognize.
As soon as I started to attempt to move, I heard a soft and caring voice to my right. “Hey, you're finally awake.”
It was the woman I had seen at the gate of this fort.
“Where am I?” I croaked, trying my best to make my voice clear and able to be heard.
“Cloud Ruler Temple.” She said very straight-forwards.
“And that is...?”
“A fortress for the Blades; the bodyguards of the Emperor.”
My eyes must've went wide. "Ysmir's beard..." I said under my breath.
She chuckled. “I bet you didn't expect to be seeing the Emperor's personal guards when you knocked on the gate.”
“Indeed I wasn't. I was just looking for a place to stay for even a few days.”
“I think you'll need more than a few days here,”
Now I was curious. “And why would that be?”
“Because from the state you were in when you came up here, you were in the worst shape most people had seen for someone who hadn't been in combat.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, the pass was quite brutal to get through.”
“It always is.”
The conversation somewhat ceased after that, and I let my eyes begin to wander on the woman in front of me. Her hair was tied up in a small knot on the back of her head, but a bit draped over one side of her face and down to her shoulder. Her face was petite, and definitely looked Breton. Her skin was fair, and she looked to have a small tan on her. Her body's proportions were some of the best I have ever laid my eyes upon. Her shirt tugged at her chest and fantastically fit the rest of her form. Muscles rippled down her arms and I could see the outline of them under her shirt at her stomach.
She noticed my examination and turned her face away slightly; blushing.
I stopped my examination soon enough and spoke up. “So, what's your name?”
“Catinea,” She said with a smirk on her face. “Yourself?”
“Elegast,” I said, “So how long do I have to stay here?”
“As long as you want, just as long as you stay out of trouble. Captain said you are under my care and are welcome to the food and other essentials around the fort.”
“That is very kind of your Captain,” I remarked.
“Indeed it is, probably because of the shape you were in.”
I glanced down at myself, seeing that I was much smaller than I realized. The muscle I had built up at the cottage I lived in was nearly gone and I could nearly see my ribs from under my shirt.
The blade, Catinea, stood up somewhat abruptly and said, “I have to go out and train, if you feel you're up to the challenge, I am sure most people here would be happy to spar with you, myself included.”
“Your offer is very kind, but I think I will let myself into the pantry and shower first.”
She playfully plugged her nose with her index finger and thumb and said, “I agree,” while waving her hand in the air to move it back towards me.
I chuckled at the sight, and then she slipped out of the room.
By the Nine is she beautiful. I thought to myself as I stood up from the cot I was sitting on and went off to find the showers first. They were not too hard to find, but I did have to ask one of the Blades for directions. They were very kind in directing me towards them, and I had little doubts as to why. The water was warm which surprised me. I suspected they used Dwemer pipes for the piping in the building. Being so close to Skyrim; it was highly probable. After the refreshing shower, I walked around the entire massive building to find the pantry. I eventually did, it was stocked full of various dried meats, bread, and what looked to be some types of wine.
I had my fair share of food and then felt like I was up to the task of sparring with a few of the Blades. I walked out of the main hall and immediately felt the chill of the outdoors. I rushed back inside to find my leather curiass. But alas it was nowhere to be found. I did end up finding a long-sleeved tunic in the locker under my cot. It protected against the chill better than the t-shaped tunic I was wearing before. Despite the wretched conditions I was living in before, I felt better than I thought I ever had.
Once I got back outside, I saw Catinea sparring with another one of the Blades. Neither of them were wearing armour, probably since they generated enough heat by fighting. None of the other men had their eyes on her, which either meant that she was taken by someone already, or she had shut down every one of their advances. But if that was the case, why didn't she stop me from staring at her figure? She clearly knew what I was doing. I walked a bit closer to the grass-covered strip they were fighting on.
Catinea threw one final swing at her opponent and his sword went flying out of his hand and nearly hit me. It clanked on the stone as it hit the ground close to my feet.
“Well, look who's finally out of bed,”
“Yeah, I'm feeling a bit rusty on my combat skills. Was wondering if you would care to reteach me.”
A bright smile was on her face, even as sweat beaded it's way down her face and dampened her shirt. “I'd be happy to, just let me get a drink and I would recommend you get a katana.” She panted.
That word confused me even more than why I was even allowed to stay in this fort. “A what?”
“Katana,” She nearly spelled it out for me. “The thin blade I have in my hand right now?”
“So that's its name?”
“Yes, it is an Akavirri weapon.”
Akavirri. That was another name that I didn't know or remember. But I didn't want to waste her time by asking questions. So I asked as to where the armoury was and she directed me to it. Once I made it down there, I encountered a man who was sharpening one of the blades. “Here for another blade?”
“Eh, first blade.” I corrected.
“New recruit?”
“Refugee,” I corrected again.
The man grunted. “And I'm supposed to give a weapon to you?”
“Catinea said I could,”
“Ah, alright. One handed or two?”
“One,”
The man grabbed one of the blades on a nearby shelf and handed it to me. “Be careful, these weapons are sharper than you think.”
“Alright, I'll be careful. But I've wielded a blade before,”
“Not one like this,” He said as he returned to what he was doing, effectively ending the conversation right then and there.
I made my way out of the armoury and back outside, katana in-hand, and found Catinea sitting down on one of the stone bricks of the fort. She stood up in an instant once I got close enough. “You ready for a duel?”
“As ready as I'll ever be,”
Swords went clashing, striking against one another. A few of her strikes nicked me as I felt the blade cut through my skin and let blood loose. A few more strikes and my sword was out of my hand and hers at my neck. “I win,” She declared.
She let the sword fall to her side and she walked back to the other end of the 'arena'. “Want to go another round?”
I was busy fetching my sword but I replied nonetheless. “Sure, just one moment.”
I got myself ready, I held out my hand before she started and I got a glowing ball of yellow light swirling in my hand. I began to cast the spell and felt the cuts and bruises I had gotten in the fight disappear.
“Ah, so your a healer?”
“A novice one, I was made to learn the spell when I was young.”
“Can you use the magic on others?”
“Yes actually, but I can heal no more than a sword wound. And even then it drains all my magicka.”
“Ah, well it's fine. Let's go again!” She said as another wave of blade strikes went my way.
3E 431, Frostfall the 26th
The days here in Cloud Ruler Temple have been great. I've made friends, and I've become well respected by some of the members here. Others don't want anything to do with me, but if they don't want to then I will not force them to.
Catinea has to be the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes upon; the best thing is she's single! I have no idea how she managed it, but she has. Well her and I have been spending increasing amounts of time together, I'm close to asking her if she wants to be in a relationship! I hope she'll accept when I do. I'd be kinda painful otherwise. Oh well, guess I'll find out soon enough.
After spending a few more days at Cloud Ruler Temple, Catinea and I had become increasingly close. Her and I even began to flirt while we thought no-one was looking. But we hadn't begun the relationship. Nor has she done many things that could be considered suggestive. But that was soon to change. She was getting more and more flirtatious and often even said such things in public. People just glanced at us suspiciously and continued on their way.
We sparred a lot during the days that I was there. I got increasingly better and better with the katana and got used to its weight and strength. I only hoped that when I left I would be able to keep the blade.
During one of the sparring matches Catinea and I had, her and I clashed swords all the while panting from the exertion. Each one of us pressing our sword closer to the other. Finally our eyes locked on one another and we took a few steps towards one another. Both of us began to loosen our grips on our swords as we got closer to the other. Our bodies pressed against each other and we dropped our swords and drew one another into a deep, passionate kiss.
It was indescribable how good it was; feeling her lips pressed against my own. Others could've been looking, but I didn't care. And judging from Catinea's willingness to continue kissing, neither did she. My hand seemed to have a mind of it's own and wrapped around her waist. My other arm began slowly reaching for the knife I had on my belt.
Catinea wrapped one arm around the back of my neck, locking her fingers in the back of my mane. Her other found it's way across the length of my back, just under my shoulders. All the while, my arm, dagger in hand, was moving slowly up to Catinea's neck. With a sudden jolt she backed up when I pressed the dagger lightly against her throat and said, “You're dead.”
She just started laughing, and I joined in not long after. She came back to me and nestled herself under my head and into my chest and I let myself rest my head on hers. She whispered something barely audible in my ear and then let go reluctantly. “My chamber, midnight.”
She walked off with a little extra shake in her hips and gave me ample time to stare. All I had to do was wait until midnight. When midnight came, I silently made my way from my small cot, past a bunch of sleeping Blades and into Catinea's room. She was wearing a robe and standing against one of the walls. Candles were lit throughout the entire room and smelled of something I couldn't quite put my finger on.
“What's all this, eh?” I was the one to speak first.
“Oh, this?” She said in sultry voice. “I thought it was time that we make our relationship official.”
She looked at me with what I could swear to be lust in her eyes. She climbed onto bed and hinted me to follow.
After a while of kissing, we finally decided on what to do next. I slowly eased myself into her, kissing her to stifle her moans. The feeling was unimaginably good. I had had sex in the past, but that night was the best of my life. Feeling me inside of her, it was amazing in lack of a better word. I'm not sure how long we went on for, but the next morning both of us wanted to do nothing but sleep.
But she had other things to do, so we would not be sleeping together like we had for a few hours before. It was disappointing to say the least. But we agreed that that wasn't the last time we would see one another.
Eventually it was time for me to leave. Catinea had nearly burst into tears when I said I would be leaving. None of the other Blades seemed happy about it either, and promised that if I was in the area and was in need of a place to stay, I would always be welcome. Divines bless them. I promised to write to Catinea every few months, so she would know I was alive; it was the least I could do.
I said goodbye to everyone I knew at the fort, they were all kind enough to gather around the gate and give me a farewell. I was allowed to keep the katana and got a sturdy set of leather reinforced with chainmail. The chainmail was kept under the leather, but above my shirt underneath and only covered my chest. I couldn't be too heavy on my feet. I had gotten my old beaten backpack repaired from the grouchy blacksmith and it looked almost as good as new, just with a lot more stitches.
I learned that the closest city was called Bruma and was no more than a week away. So that's where I left off to. I walked down the path and into my new life in Cyrodiil.