Chapter Text
Toad whistled as he happily walked through the castle halls. He had just received a large pay for his hard work, so he was in a good mood.
His cheerfulness was soon ended by a wave of confusion upon entering the storage closet, where he was met with the sight of a portal. He couldn't see the other side, but the sides of the portal emitted dark pink light. Confused, Toad reached out and put his hand through experimentally. He wiggled it around and eventually felt soft grass against his fingertips. He instantly pulled out his hand and stared at it.
"What the heck..."
Deciding to alert the princess immediately, Toad sprinted out of the closet and down the hall.
After climbing the stairs up four stories, he finally reached the princess's throne room, where she spent most of her time. He hesitated a bit before knocking on the door. No response. He tried again and still got no response. Slowly, he opened the door just enough so that he could see in. He saw the princess talking with a yellow toad who he instantly recognized as Toadiple, the princess's closest servant. Toad stuck his ear in the crack, trying to hear what she was saying. It wasn't good to eavesdrop, especially on the princess, but Toad needed to know if whatever she was talking about was important enough to not be interrupted.
"...so don't let anyone in here to see me. I don't care who they are or how good their excuse is: DO. NOT. LET. THEM. IN. HERE. Am I clear?"
Toad groaned. Toadiple was pretty much the world's biggest suckup. When Toadiple got orders from the princess, he never disobeyed. Even Toadio, the previous servant, could be easily bribed to "forget" her orders.
And Toadiple had eyes like a hawk. Toad wouldn't have been able to sneak around without being caught. Besides, Peach seemed busy, so she'd probably just tell him to handle the problem himself anyway. After a few moments deep in thought, Toad made his decision. After hearing Peach's footsteps approaching the door, Toad decided to take his leave before he was caught, lightly jogging down the stairs to the entrance of the castle.
"Hey, Toad-Toad!" he greeted the secretary, a green toad.
"Hello, Toad. What can I help you with?"
"Do you have a phone book or something?" Toad said, looking at the desk.
"Yep," Toad-Toad said, leaning down. She sat back up and handed it to Toad. "Here you go."
"Thanks. I'll need to make a phone call in a bit as well." Toad-Toad nodded, and Toad walked away to a nearby chair.
"I dunno what to look for," Toad muttered, flipping through pages.
Plumber
"Already got one of those," Toad laughed, smirking.
Portal Expert
Toad blinked. He wasn't expecting "Portal Expert" to actually be listed in the book. There was just one option:
"Yoshi..." Toad said, tracing his finger along the line to the phone number before taking out a piece of paper and scribbling it down in case he lost his place. He stood up and walked to the desk.
"I'm ready to make the phone call," Toad said. Toad-Toad nodded as if to say "go ahead" and rolled out of the way in her chair. Toad set the book down on the desk with the paper on top. He dialed the number and brought the phone to his ear.
"Hello?" A high-pitched, girlish voice came out.
"Is this Yoshi the Portal Expert?" Toad asked.
"Yep! That's me! Whatcha need?"
"Well, since I'm calling, I've obviously found a portal. I'm working at the castle, and I found a portal when I went into a storage closet," Toad said. Yoshi was silent for a moment. Toad thought he heard Yoshi say, "Huh. That's odd," but it was so quiet that it could've just been his imagination.
"The castle, huh? Then I'll try to come as soon as possible!" Yoshi giggled. Was...that supposed to be a joke? "I think I can make it in an hour. How does four sound?" Toad looked at Toad-Toad for a moment.
"That should be fine. I'll call you if there's a change of plans."
"Alright, I'll be there! Who will I be meeting?"
"Toad."
"Gotcha! See ya in an hour!" Yoshi hung up. Toad turned around and was startled when he saw Toad-Toad right in front of him, staring at him.
"There's a portal expert coming at four. She'll be meeting me, so have her come to my room when she gets here," Toad instructed. Toad-Toad nodded.
"Alright. Did you tell the princess about this?" Toad shook his head.
"She's busy, and she'd probably tell me to take care of it myself anyway, so I went ahead and called a portal expert," Toad explained.
After straightening his room for about the fifth time, Toad finally received a call from the front desk.
"Yoshi's here to see you," Toad-Toad said.
"Alright. I'll come meet her," Toad said.
"Erm, who?" Toad-Toad said, confusion evident in her voice. Toad was just as confused.
"Um, Yoshi, the portal expert. Duh," Toad said matter-of-factly.
"...Yoshi's a boy."
Toad stood in shock for a solid minute before he was able to speak again.
"What?!" Toad screamed, and he could hear Toad-Toad groan in pain as she rubbed her ears.
"Please don't scream so loudly. Come down and meet him," Toad-Toad said.
"Wait, but didn't I tell you to-" Toad was interrupted when Toad-Toad hung up. He sighed. So he spent all that time cleaning his room for nothing.
Toad arrived at the lobby to see a (slightly chubby) green dinosaur with a huge round snout. He wore bright pink gloves and a giant backpack that looked like it was about to burst from all the supplies it was holding.
"I'm guessing you're Yoshi?" The dinosaur nodded eagerly.
"Yeppo! So you're Toad?" Toad nodded, trying not to gape. Even though he'd already heard it on the phone, Yoshi's shrill voice was still startling to hear in person. "Where's this storage closet then, Toad?" Toad chuckled sheepishly, overwhelmed by the energy radiating off of Yoshi.
"This way," he gestured as he led Yoshi to the fifth floor. Yoshi remained silent the whole time as he followed, and the fact that the closet was at the very end of the hallway didn't help the awkwardness.
Toad opened the closet door, revealing the.....
Nothing.
There was nothing there. No portal. Toad blinked and rubbed his eyes before opening and closing the door several times to check.
"N-no way!" he exclaimed. "It was here earlier! Is this the right closet?!"
Yoshi stepped forward, putting a hand on Toad's shoulder, and squinted. He sniffed a few times before shaking his head.
"No, there was definitely a portal here earlier, which makes things even stranger. Someone's been here since then and removed it. I'm the only portal expert around, and you wouldn't call more than one portal expert even if there were more, meaning...someone deliberately placed it here and closed it," Yoshi said, uncharacteristically serious. Toad blinked, surprised by Yoshi's unexpectedly astute observation.
"Portals can be extremely dangerous if in the wrong hands. I need to investigate. Thanks for letting me know about that portal. This is serious business, and I haven't actually done anything yet, so I'm not going to charge you," Yoshi said, his serious expression briefly changing to a grin at the end.
Yoshi rummaged in his backpack (how in the world did he fit all that in there?), eventually pulling out a long rod resembling a metal detector. No, scratch that. It was just a metal detector except it was painted in an even brighter pink than Yoshi's gloves.
"Uh, what's that?" Toad asked hesitantly, only to receive a wide-eyed, serious stare from Yoshi that sent chills down his spine.
"...Portal detector," Yoshi finally said. "I'm using it to search for any other portals in case whoever made this made another one. The biggest thing when it comes to portals is that where there's one, there's sure to be others."
"Sooo......should I leave you alone so you can figure this out?" Toad asked, stepping back awkwardly.
"Yeah, I'll take it from here," Yoshi said, still focused on the so-called "portal detector" as he turned it on and started fiddling with it. Suddenly, he tilted his head as if contemplating if that was the best decision.
"Wait, no," Yoshi said as Toad started to walk off. A grin started forming on his face. "I think you can help me."
"W-what?! Me?! I don't know anything about portals, and you just said you didn't need me!" Toad turned around suddenly to face Yoshi, backing away slowly while holding his hands out.
"Duh, you! You can help me get around the palace! Since you work here, you can probably get me access to some spots, and you can help me navigate the castle if needed. You called me here to take care of the portal, so it's the least you could do," Yoshi said. Toad stopped backing away.
"Alright, alright, fine. But don't you dare think about making me figure out how to find and get rid of the portal! That's your job!" Toad pointed a finger at Yoshi accusingly despite having no reason to believe he would make him do such things (and having plenty of reasons to believe otherwise).
"Tsk, tsk. So distrustful. Do you truly think so little of me, Todd?" Yoshi said, feigning offense. Toad stepped forward and rolled his eyes.
"Toad," he corrected.
"So you agree to help?" Toad struggled to hold back a laugh at the sheer excitement visible in Yoshi's eyes.
"Yeah, I guess so," Toad choked out.
"Yay! Oops, I forgot to finish adding the parameters!" Yoshi turned back to his portal detector and continued fiddling with it.
"..That thing's adjustable?" Toad asked.
"Duh. How do you think I get anything done?" Yoshi said, tilting his head sassily. I didn't, Toad thought.
Toad continued standing there awkwardly as he watched Yoshi try to get the detector working. Just as he was about to open his mouth to complain, Yoshi's eyes lit up and he let out a squeal, startling Toad.
"I got it! And it's already picking up a faint signal! It's coming from somewhere upstairs, so lead the way, Frog!"
"Toad!" He was starting to wonder if Yoshi was misremembering his name on purpose.
"Right! Lead the way, Toad!" Yoshi said.
"As you wish, Yoshio," Toad said with a sly smirk, which morphed into a slight scowl when he noticed that he didn't get a reaction out of Yoshi. If Yoshi had even noticed that Toad called him by the wrong name, he didn't show it, as his grin didn't even falter.
Toad made sure to take Yoshi to the stairs in the back, as they were rarely used. It wasn't as if Yoshi wasn't allowed to be in there, but he was sure that they'd have a lot more mobility if there wasn't anyone to get in their way. Plus, it would be bad news if the creator of the portal were to see them lugging around a giant portal detector. As he was about to step out of the stairwell as they arrived to the second floor, Yoshi spoke.
"Nope, keep going," Yoshi said, not once taking his eyes off the portal detector.
This situation repeated itself until they reached the sixth floor, the highest floor in the castle.
"Are you sure it's up here? The only thing here is Princess Peach's throne room," Toad said, tilting his head.
"See for yourself, it's up here." Yoshi showed Toad the reading on the portal detector, to which Toad shook his head exasperatedly.
"I don't know what any of that means," he said, "if I did, don't you think I would've handled it myself instead of calling you here?" Yoshi, however, ignored him and continued walking.
"Are you sure this is a good idea? I overheard the princess talking to one of her servants, and she didn't want anyone coming in there! Besides, if it is in there, there's no getting past Toadiple!" Toad whisper-yelled nervously.
"If it's the princess's throne room, then all the more reason to get rid of a portal in there. Besides, what makes you so sure that it's inside the throne room? Did you put it there?" Yoshi teased as he spun around to face Toad.
"I just-what if it's something the princess knows about and is supposed to be there?"
"Then I won't have to do anything once I find it. That's why I'm here: to make sure that the portal is nothing to worry about and to get rid of it if it is!" Yoshi winked, turning around and continuing to march forward. "Is this the throne room? It's right past those doors." Yoshi pointed around a corner to the throne room doors, where Toadiple was standing.
"Yes, it's the throne room!! And we're not going to be allowed in there because Toadiple is there!" Toad had to grab Yoshi by the backpack and pull him back as he tried to walk forward and ask Toadiple for permission to enter.
"Come on, it doesn't hurt to ask!!" Yoshi pouted.
"It does when you're asking the princess's closest servant to disobey her! Hey, I can't believe I'm saying this, but why can't you just make a portal that takes us in there? You are a portal expert, aren't you?" Toad rubbed his temples.
"Nuh-uh! The whole point is to be secretive! Like a phantom thief! Portal users are typically sensitive to other portals nearby. If we use a portal, the person who made the portal will see us coming from a mile away!" Yoshi explained.
"Toadiple was about to see us coming from a mile away when you tried to approach him!" Toad exclaimed. He continued rubbing his temples, deep in thought and tired of dealing with Yoshi.
"I can think of one other option, but it's terrible. The chance of success is probably less than ten percent, and I'm sure there are much better options," Toad said. It was obvious from his tone of voice that he hated himself for what he was about to say.
"What's that?" Yoshi asked eagerly, leaning in. Toad simply grabbed Yoshi's hand and took him down a floor to the janitor's closet.
oOo
"Tada~" Toad said with an emotionless voice and blank face as he showed Yoshi his reflection in a hand mirror. He closed the paint bucket and wiped the white paint from his hands onto his pants.
"I don't look like Peach, I look like a ghost!" Yoshi said.
"Yeah, well if you find an art supplies room with a better color paint, you can repaint yourself. While you dry, I'll go see if I can find a dress and wig," Toad said. He walked down a few floors to Toadette's room. Toadette was one of his closest friends, but she was very strange. Partly because it seemed like she somehow managed to have literally everything imaginable, which was why he was sure she'd have something he and Yoshi could use. Before he could even knock, Toadette quickly opened the door and ushered him in. That was another thing about Toadette. Sometimes it seemed as if she just knew things. This wasn't the first time that she'd opened her door before he could even knock, and half the time she already had whatever it was he needed prepared.
"What is it, Toad?" To Toad's surprise, Toadette actually didn't know what he was there for. Maybe his plan was so bizarre that even the all-knowing Toadette had no idea what he wanted.
"This may sound strange, but do you have a dress and wig?.....preferably one that looks like Princess Peach." Toad mumbled the last part. In typical Toadette fashion, she didn't even flinch at his strange request but instead put a finger to her chin before starting to rummage through the mountain of stuff she had in her closet.
After about a minute, she came out holding a bright yellow wig and a dress that looked identical to Peach's.
"Will this do?" she said with a cute grin.
"Y-yeah, that's perfect," Toad said, grabbing the dress and wig from her.
"Oh, and I thought you could use this, too. For your 'cosplay,'" she said with a wink as she handed him a copy of Peach's crown. Toad smiled.
"What would I do without you, Toadette?" he said fondly.
"Hmm, you'd probably be either dead or imprisoned," she said, hands behind her back as she leaned forward. As usual, he couldn't tell if she was joking or not.
"Uh...huh... Anyway, thank you so much," Toad said with a smile before turning around to leave.
"By the way," Toadette said, and Toad halted. "Toadiple forgot his contacts this morning." And as usual, Toad was left wondering how Toadette knew everything.
oOo
"Yoshi! Change into this!" Toad called from down the hall, running towards Yoshi while hugging the dress and wig against his chest, careful not to trip.
"Whoa, it looks just like Peach's clothes!" Yoshi said, grabbing the dress and wig.
"Oh, and Toadette, my friend, said that Toadiple doesn't have his contacts today, so you just need to walk past him without saying anything, and you'll be fine. He won't be able to tell the difference," Toad explained as Yoshi began putting on the dress. Yoshi didn't say anything in response, but Toad assumed he was listening. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Yoshi's backpack.
"Hey, does that have much stuff in it now that the portal detector is out?" Toad asked, pointing to the backpack. Yoshi paused.
"Not a ton. Just a few assorted portal tools. Why?" Yoshi started adjusting the wig, looking in a hand mirror that Toad was holding up. Toad didn't say anything; he simply got on the floor and crawled into the backpack. He peeked out slightly to see Yoshi grinning.
"I don't know if you'll still need me that long, but I can sneak in too by hiding in here. And it's pink like the dress, so Toadiple shouldn't even see it."
"That's perfect!!" Yoshi squealed, picking up and putting on the backpack. "Huh, you're lighter than I expected."
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Toad demanded.
"Nothing! Just didn't expect you to only weigh as much as a sheet of paper!"
"I'm not that light," Toad protested tiredly before zipping himself in the backpack as best he could. "Now hurry up before I suffocate in here."
"Gotcha!" Yoshi said before bolting, nearly causing Toad to barf.
"Slow down!"
"You said to hurry up! Now, shh! I'm almost to Toadiple!" Yoshi said, slowing down to a skip. You're the one who needs to "shh!" Toad thought.
"O-oh! Princess! You're back again already!" Toadiple said. Toad tilted his head. Again? Toad could tell from Yoshi's long period of silence and the slight shaking of the backpack that Yoshi was panicking. In his best Peach impression, Toad spoke up.
"Oh, right. I forgot something, so I had to come back to get it." There was a pause before Toadiple spoke again, and Toad realized that his voice, muffled from the bag, had probably just blown their cover.
"You sound different today, Princess," Toadiple finally said. Toad could hear from Yoshi's breath that he was about to say something, but Toad decided to speak up instead in case Yoshi said anything stupid or Toadiple noticed the difference in their voices.
"I'm feeling a bit under the weather today! I've had a bit of a cold, so my voice may sound different!" Toad said. The cough he made at the end wasn't intentional, but it helped his point.
"Ah, I see. You do look a bit pale. I hope you feel better. Let me know if you wish for me to call a doctor," Toadiple said.
"Thank you. I will," Toad said.
After a moment, Yoshi set the backpack down on the floor and unzipped it.
"I can't believe that actually worked," Toad whispered, holding back a laugh.
"I know, right! I was so nervous!" Yoshi said.
"Now let's hurry up and find that portal before the real Peach comes back!" Toad said. Yoshi nodded.
They wandered into Peach's bedroom, which was connected to the throne room, and were immediately met with a massive portal with a blue tint around the edges. Toad thought he heard a faint humming from the portal.
"Does this look like the portal you saw earlier?" Yoshi asked. Toad nodded.
"Yeah, except it's way bigger. The one earlier was small enough to fit in that closet I took you to earlier," Toad explained, crossing his arms.
"Do you have any idea where Peach went and for how long?" Yoshi asked. Toad shook his head.
"Nope, but when we went past Toadiple he said 'back again already,' so he clearly expected her to be gone longer, meaning we probably have plenty of time," Toad said.
"Good. I hope so, because despite what you see in the movies, portals actually take quite a bit of time and energy to open and close. Nothing too insane, but it's not instantaneous like most films portray it. Besides, I'm going to try to trace the creator of the portal," Yoshi explained before beginning to set up a device around the portal.
"Should I be on lookout to make sure no one's coming?" Toad offered.
"Yeah, go ahead," Yoshi said, not pausing his anti-portal device setup.
Toad turned and walked away, pacing in circles by the doorway before getting bored and climbing up onto a giant mushroom statue so he would have a good view while hidden. What felt like hours (but was actually only about ten minutes) passed, and Toad just sat there tapping his fingers on the statue. Suddenly, Toad thought he heard faint footsteps from the hallway. His eyes widened, and he jumped down from the statue quickly and ran towards Yoshi as fast as his short legs would let him.
"Yoshi! Yoshi!!" he whisper-yelled, waving his arm. Yoshi turned his head, tilting it slightly.
"Yeah?" he asked, somehow oblivious to Toad's clear panic. But there wasn't time for Toad to comment on that now.
"I think the princess is back!! Hurry, what do we do?!"
"Oh, shoot!! I'm almost done tracing it and I was just about to start closing it!" Yoshi said, panicked.
"How much longer until it's traced?!"
"About thirty seconds more," Yoshi gestured to a screen on another device, which was counting down from 29. Toad closed the door to the bedroom, hoping that would buy them time to make a quick getaway and that the princess wouldn't notice the change in the state of her doors.
"Done!" Yoshi said after a bit. Just then, Toad heard footsteps approaching the door.
"Just in time!" Toad said quietly, grabbing Yoshi's hand. He glanced between the door and the portal and gulped. Grabbing Yoshi's backpack and gear in his other arm, he pulled Yoshi with him as he jumped into the portal.