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Calli knew she loves the phoenix, she loves how cheery the phoenix is, how pretty she is that words can’t even describe how Kiara looks, she loves how warm she is, she loves everything about Kiara. Kiara is just so majestic, that she can’t explain how happy she is whenever she’s around her.
Calli loves all those sweet moments they had, those moments they shared, the happiness, the fluff, the warmth and everything. Why did she have to be so dumb? She pushed and pushed Kiara away, and now look at where she’s at. She just feels empty, tired, and horrible. She was a mess.
She grinned, and lifted a bottle of wine to pour on her glass. Her eyes shining, signifying the tears that were threatening to fall any moment. It wasn’t even night time, it was literally 12 in the afternoon, and here she is, wasting herself. Why did it hurt so much? She wonders.
Maybe she should’ve never gotten attached, she should’ve never believed those words. Of course, the phoenix would move on, Calli pushed her away, didn’t she? The reaper can’t see herself being happy for Kiara, and it hurts, so goddamn much. Her Kiara, no, it doesn’t feel right. Kiara. There.
Kiara, the phoenix, just recently told her about her growing feelings towards Amelia, their friend, A time travelling detective, and Calli was surprised. She didn’t know. She didn’t know that Kiara had already moved on, and that she’s already falling for someone else.
She didn’t know that the phoenix no longer felt the same way as she does, and that’s when she realized it, it wasn’t mutual anymore.
Calli laughed, and laughed, tears freely falling from her eyes, her heart aching due to her realization. She was so stupid. So stupid.
She poured another shot, and drank it instantly. She wanted to disappear; she wanted these feelings to disappear. Why now? Why? Why did she have to realize her feelings to the phoenix? It should’ve been platonic, not romantic, not more than friends or best friends. They were supposed to stay as friends, and only friends.
And that’s what happened, they were friends, for eternity. Is this what Kiara felt for all those centuries she’d chase Calli? If so, then, Calli apologizes, she should’ve realized it sooner.
“Kiara… it hurts. I don’t want to love you anymore.” She muttered, drinking another shot. She felt herself getting dizzy, the alcohol finally taking its effects. She felt sleepy, but Calli doesn’t want to sleep.
She can already see herself dreaming about Kiara, and it makes things worse. She opened her youtube and the first thing she sees was Kiara’s stream.
“…” The silence was loud, and Calli felt her tears again. Threatening to fall, yet she still clicked on the video. Kiara was talking about some game, Minecraft? She wasn’t so sure.
Probably, Among us? Not that either, she continued guessing, and it did not occur to her to read Kiara’s stream title. She then heard the phoenix mention her name, and then said a few compliments.
Her heart jumps, and it was filled with joy, but she was quickly reminded of Ame. The chat has eventually mentioned Ame, and there it was.
She heard the phoenix laugh, and that was the last straw for Calli. Her tears have fallen non-stop and her heart yearns and aches for the person she couldn’t have anymore. Her sobs filled her room, as she drank another shot. She quickly came up with a conclusion, to help herself move on perhaps, but that will take time.
They weren’t the same anymore, and she was too late. Calli was always too late and she never was early. That’s all there is, and it hurts a lot.