Chapter Text
Viktor stood at the edge, peering into the water below. It would not be difficult to step forward, to fall into the deep stream.
With luck he would die upon impact, no he thought, it would be justice for him to suffer. For his body to break further from the height and drown, desperately trying to break the surface as instinct took over to no avail.
Then nothing but darkness, his brain would release a flood of signals and chemicals that would create a dream to end all dreams. That would be would his last moment.
His mother taught him about an afterlife and for once Viktor hoped there was nothing but darkness after the dream, he could not bear the idea of seeing those past before him and witnessing his faults.
That he hadn't changed the world or brought the Undercity any form a peace. He had focused on Hextech and neglected his original goals; it was unlikely the council would approve funding his side projects to eliminate the pollution plaguing the Undercity.
Sky would continue the work and if she had the stomach, she could manipulate Jayce to focus on the project with guilt. She wouldn't of course, her heart was to kind for such methods.
How he heard all the atrocities Singed was conducting and did nothing, told no one. He had seen some of the Enforcer reports of children found in makeshift hospitals.
Heard rumors from the Undercity of people desperate enough to seek him out and undergoing horrific experiments that didn’t save them. Even when Shimmer was found in the hands of every other Undercity citizen, causing more problems.
Viktor still felt some kinship for the only adult other than his parents that saw something special in Viktor.
Though if there was something beyond the mortal coil, he reasoned he would not end up in the same afterlife as his parents. They would be somewhere where no pain or suffering could touch them, Viktor doubted his soul could ever be considered similar to theirs if such a thing did exist.
Jayce could perhaps meet them there, if the world didn’t shave away his kindness over the years first. Viktor let out a breath, only one man would mourn him, and it was the very man whose heart he selfishly stomped on.
When the extent of his illness became apparent to Viktor, he had broken whatever thing he had with Jayce off. It had been an ugly breakup, yelling on both sides and a desperate Jayce begging to understand.
The sounds of Jayce’s hushed cries as he left their apartment haunted Viktor, every instinct telling the man to go back and ask for forgiveness or understanding.
They stayed research partners but there was a tension, a void, between the pair.
When Viktor woke up in a hospital bed months later, Jayce had asked in the most broken voice if this was the real reason Viktor left. Viktors silence had been answer enough, the chasm was still distinctly present as they worked to figure out if there was a cure for Wasting.
Yet Jayce was once again gifting Viktor with small touches, and with each touch Viktor wanted to go back in time to stop himself from cutting things off. Death was inevitable and assuming that Jayce was better off not seeing the effects of his illness was foolish.
Jayce was always going to learn about it and would always delve headfirst into any breadcrumb that could help Viktor. Even when Jayce was raw and wounded from the breakup, he still whole heartedly loved Viktor.
It was better this way; it would be quick and mostly painless. Faster than his mother's death, and most likely it would be faster than his father's death as well down in the mines.
It was not just his lungs; they were failing the fastest but Wasting never just affected one area. His organs were already shutting down, if somehow, he continued to live longer then it would begin to rot away his brain.
“Am I interrupting?”
Viktor jerked back and froze as he stared at an approaching Jayce, the man looked to have aged years in the few hours Viktor had seen him last.
His expression when looking at Viktor was of pure misery, “what are you doing, V?”
Viktor had a hard time meeting his gaze, even when a solid hand clasped his shoulder he couldn’t look up.
“You know what I’m doing, why. You should go home.”
Jayce sucked in a strangled breath and the grip on his shoulder became painful.
“No,” Jayce swallowed loudly before continuing, “I’ll figure something out- maybe Hextech has the answer and I’m just not looking hard enough.”
Viktor placed is hand over Jayce’s, “I’ve seen so many die from this disease, it is a miserable end with little dignity.”
Jayce made a sound and shook his head, “it won’t be like that. We-we can do anything when we’re together, no one thought hex tech was viable, but we did it.”
Jayce’s voice sounded thick, as if he no longer believed the delusion he created. The taller man stepped in front of Viktor, large hand gently cradling Viktors face.
“Please Vitya, I can figure it out. I just need a little more time.”
It was a desperation Viktor had seen so many times in life, the one left behind begging for more time if even just a minute more as they cradled a corpse. Those cries had never been answered despite how loudly they had been screamed, that plea would not be answered now.
Viktor leaned into Jayce’s hand just slightly and the taller man smiled as if he had convinced him. Viktor leaned forward slightly, and Jayce rushed to close the distance between their lips.
Jayce’s hand trailed down to Viktors waist and Viktors hand gripped the back of Jayce’s neck. It was a kiss filled with desperation; a desire not born out of sexual passion but of a need to feel the other.
Even when their tongues brushed against one another it was an affirmation that they were both alive and able to hold each other the way they were.
Jayce tasted of black coffee; the only time Viktor could stand the taste was when it was through Jayce. Viktor tasted of metal, like he had been sucking on copper before the kiss, Jayce hated it and the reason behind it.
Both were breathless when they broke apart, and Viktor felt a tightness in chest not attributed to emotions.
It felt as if someone had trapped two mice in each of his lungs, and they were desperately trying to break free. Scratching their prison, fighting harder with each exhale. At times they would pause, leaving only ragged scratches after the attack.
Viktor felt the burn and tried to break away while stifling the coughs, but Jayce's hands kept him where he was.
The aching burn became overwhelming, and his body became wracked with wet coughs, he brought his elbow up but lack of oxygen began to hit. He all but collapsed onto Jayce’s broad chest. Hands fisted in Jayce’s vest as he waited for his lungs to hold air again.
Jayce kept him steady, holding him upright and Viktor knew Jayce would not let go. So, he chose to focus on regaining his breath instead of staying upright, a harsh cough filled his mouth with a metal taste, but Jayce only tightened his grip as he took on Viktors weight.
When the fit ended after an unknown amount of time Viktor felt numb aside from the pain in his chest, each breath was a terrible wheeze and the blood on his tongue made his stomach turn.
Slowly the darkness surrounding his vision lifted, tears that had formed from oxygen deprivation still clouds his eyes and he blinked past them.
Every muscle was weighed down, the only thing keeping him from crumpling down was Jayce. Past the wheezing and the roar in his ears Viktor could barely make out Jayce was speaking.
“Just breathe, I got you, I'm right here. I won’t let you go so please just breathe for me.”
Vaguely Viktor could remember telling Jayce something similar when he found the man in the midst of a panic attack years ago.
Slightly more aware, Viktor could feel the way Jayce was running his fingers through his hair in a quick and repetitive motion.
The spot Viktor was staring at was moving, even blinking away the some of the blurriness didn’t stop the world from swaying. A few moments later Viktor realized he was the one rocking back and forth, or more specifically Jayce was rocking them.
Viktor fought hard against the pull of his eyelids, Jayce was close to a panic attack and Viktor passing out would put the man over.
It was one thing to know a person was dying and another to hold them in your arms and wonder if this was the moment they left the world.
Jayce’s delusion had been destroyed, even if they stopped the progression of the disease the damage was still too severe to recover from.
Slowly more things clicked into place, and he noticed a dark red stain marred Jayce’s vest and coat.
“Your shirt.”
The world stopped swaying and Viktor felt Jayce’s vice grip on his waist tighten.
“I’ll get a new one or just walk around shirtless. I don’t fucking care.”
Viktor managed a smile at that, “if you do go around shirtless, the productivity of all of Piltover would go down immensely.”
This earned a snort from Jayce and once Viktor had his bearings properly oriented, he drew away from the firmness that Jayce provided.
Fingers dug into his hip before forcibly relaxing and Jayce was staring at him with barely contained panic. Viktor knew how he must look, the blood staining his lips did not help to calm the other man.
“Do you happen to have water with you?”
His voice was scratchy and hoarse, Jayce’s brows furrowed in confusion and Viktor was about to repeat himself when realization dawned.
“Oh, uh no I didn’t bring any. But I can go get some.”
Jayce had seemed to grab onto the idea of being able to do something useful with a fervor. Jayce backed up a step, watching closely as Viktor showed no signs of dropping dead the moment he stepped away.
Jayce’s fingers curled and uncurled a few times before he used a hand to smooth back his hair.
“I’ll be right back, just stay right here.”
Viktor raised an eyebrow, “I will wait with bated breath for your return.”
A dark look passed Jayce’s face and he froze where he stood, Viktor mused that was the wrong thing to say.
“Jayce. The water?”
The words caused Jayce to move once again he left the room but stopped at the doorway and spared a look back at Viktor, who had dutifully stayed in the same spot.
When the door closed the footfalls of Jayce rushing to find something as simple as a cup of water covered the sound of wheezing.
Viktor let out a huff that developed into a cough, it wasn’t as bad as the fit just moments before but still had black dots clouding his vision.
Viktor looked behind him, the ledge beckoned him with a promise of sleep. He stood at the edge, the current was strong enough that his body would already be far away, and Jayce wouldn’t have to see it when he came back.
It would likely be found by some unsuspecting couple having a romantic walk along the water, or perhaps it would make it back to the Undercity.
Just another body to be fished out and thrown into an unmarked grave, more likely he would be cremated because of his fine clothes. When a Piltover body made it to the Undercity, they were disposed of quickly to stave away enforcers ‘questioning’ the citizens on how it got down there.
Viktor dropped his crutch and took the step. Falling wasn’t scary, it reminded him of floating above the lab. Laughing and carefree with Jayce as they reveled in their success.
Before he hit the water, he heard the door slam open and Jayce yelling for him, he had truly hoped that the man had forgotten what Viktor had come up here for in the pursuit of being able to do something.
Luck wasn’t with him; the impact didn’t kill him. Instead, it broke bones and stole his breath as he sank down instead.
The current was already carrying him forward and Viktor watched the bubbles break the surface, the mice in his lungs thrashed violently and he coughed.
Blood now colored the water and he sucked in water as his body shifted into survival mode, thrashing violently and clawing the water around him as if doing so with enough desperation would replace the liquid with air.
Another mouthful of water had his body thrash again before it subsided into jerks. It was cold and Viktor stared at the light just beyond his reach.
He could see someone at the shoreline, a white dress decorated with rich colors who stayed just by him above despite not moving to keep pace with the current.
A shadow blocked out the light and the man tried to open his eyes; at some point he must have closed them.
The shadow had a face, Jayce, who’s eyes widened when he saw Viktor. With pure determination he swam down, grabbing Viktor who felt the pain from his broken bones distantly as he was jostled.
Using the bottom as a platform to launch off of the taller man kicked furiously to the surface, Viktor mused that as selfish as it was. This was hardly the worst last sight to see as he felt a different current pulling him away.