Chapter Text
The day started off like any other. Waking up, giving her teeth a good brush, doing her hair, getting dressed. Routine. She had planned to sneak out tonight to go see Hero. She even had a speech prepared just to sweep him off his feet! She couldn't deny she was a little giddy.
Sunny normally slept in late, especially on the weekends. He was a growing kid. It was normal. He'd describe his dreams to Mari sometimes. Adventures with Captain Spaceboy from those comics he loved so much. Cutesy versions of their friends. Even a version of her. A version that took care of Sunny in his dreams and always had a picnic ready. It always warmed Mari's heart to hear Sunny talk about them.
Sunny had trouble talking. He didn't talk at all when he was growing up. After a couple years of speech therapy he managed to form sentences and engage in conversation, but Mari knew Sunny would always be a little different. Not that Mari minded. She was always there to help him talk when he wanted to or to sit in silence with him or to learn some sign language with him. She was always there for Sunny.
Mari only began getting a little worried when noon came and Sunny still wasn't up. It wasn't too unusual, but Mari figured she should wake him up anyway. It wasn't healthy to sleep in too long. If their mom were home she would've woken Sunny up hours ago. Mari put down her book and walked up the stairs.
She knocked on Sunny's door a couple times. Once. Twice. Three times. She sighed. Sunny really was a heavy sleeper. Maybe he had even snuck out like she did to go hang out with his friends! The idea made her chuckle. Small little Sunny sneaking out of the house to go hang out at Kel's or Basil's or Aubrey's seemed so ridiculous, but she wouldn't deny the thought of it being cute.
Mari didn't like opening Sunny's door when he didn't respond. She saw it as an invasion of privacy. What if Sunny didn't want her to come in? What if he wanted alone time? There was also a chance he did want her to come in. Days when he couldn't bring himself to talk or get out of bed. Those were the worst days, but Mari would always be there for him.
"Sunny! If you don't respond I'm opening the door!
3!
2!
1!"
Mari opened the door, prepared to greet Sunny with a happy good morning gesture, but as soon as she laid her eyes upon what sat in the room, she froze.
She didn't want to process it. Her brain was reeling. All feeling seemed to numb from her body.
Sunny was in his room. Small, cute, delicate Sunny was in his room, with a knife planted in his chest and lying limp on the floor.
Mari couldn't register it. She couldn't even cry. It felt like her brain had stopped working. Like she was being held underwater. She lifted her hand, which looked blurry in her vision. She moved her fingers to see if they were still there. As she slowly regained feeling…
She shrieked.
She shrieked and she shrieked and she shrieked and she shrieked. Her little brother was dead. He had killed himself. He was dead dead dead dead dead. His blood was pooling on the floor.
Mari keeled over as if she had been punched in the gut.
Sunny, who she loved so much, had taken his own life. He didn't even leave a note. He didn't say anything to Mari. There was no goodbye. No goodbye would be enough for what he had done. Maybe that's why he didn't say anything.
She should've noticed the signs. Less interest in his Captain Spaceboy comics, not eating enough at dinner, talking less. She should've noticed it. But she didn't. She was blind. Her whole world felt like it was crashing down.
How could she be so fucking stupid? How could she be so braindead? So negligent? She was his older sister for fucks sake! She was the one who was supposed to pick up on these things! She was the one who was supposed to take care of him.
She couldn't look up at him. She faced the floor, unconsciously dry heaving as tears formed in her eyes.
She should have noticed.
She should have noticed.
She should have noticed.
She should have noticed.
She should ha