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A sweetheart...that is what you are. Always smiling and laughing. You were the type of person to laugh off mean comments about yourself. Which is probably why people are being more and more blunt towards you, but the thing is, the mean comments aren't even always about you specifically.
"You've gained a lot of weight recently, are you even helping on the farm?"
"Be careful! Why are you so clumsy? Poor Little Julieta is busy enough as it is."
"It's that friend of yours." They'd say with a shake of their head. "He's a bad influence."
You disagree wholeheartedly but you say nothing. You say nothing even though Bruno is right next to you, wincing at their words. The neighbors, having finally given you their daily preaching walks away with pleased looks on their faces.
"Bruno?" You ask, hoping that he isn't mad at you for saying nothing. Even though it has always been like that. "It's okay, I'm used to it." He shrugs, and sends you a crooked smile and walks ahead of you to school.
It has always been like that. You aren't supposed to talk back to your elders, so you say nothing. Even if you explain to them, explain as nicely and respectfully, they'd still think of you as ungrateful and impolite. It has always been like that. But you are glad...glad that the elders aren't the only ones testing your patience.
You aren't allowed to talk back to elders, and you also aren't supposed to throw hands the moment someone closer to your age picks on Bruno. That's where you shine the most, though. That sick satisfaction of busting their lips open, the lips of the mouth spouting shit about your friend.
You can shrug and laugh at comments about you, even when the teasing goes as far as to make you feel insecure about something, anything. Your appearance, your family, your status, anything really. Being teased is such a natural thing for everyone in school. Except for Bruno. You may not be able to stand up for him against the elders, but you sure as hell will against bullies.
"For the last time," The teacher says. "Stop punching your classmates."
"I will if they stop making fun of others," You say. She shakes her head. "You see, deary, teasing your friends is natural in school, it's a normal thing that you do around friends." You look up at her, defiantly, and aggressively crossing your arms.
"So it's normal to push someone in the mud?"
"They were most likely not aiming for the mud." She shrugs, looking down at you with a kind smile on her face.
"Is it normal to pull someone's hair hard enough to make you cry?"
"They were not pulling that hard, we just have different levels of pain tolerance, and it seems like Bruno has the pain tolerance of a little girl..."
You glare up at her, and she sighs. You can see that her patience was wearing thin.
"Look here, child. The world isn't gonna tip toe around your feelings, you might as well get used to it now. I'm sorry but that's just the way things are."
You must be missing something. Is this a grown up thing?
You decide right then and there that what she said is true. You have to get used to this. You smile up at her and nod, told her what she probably wanted to hear and walked out of the office.
Bruno pushes himself off the wall where he was waiting for you. "How did it go? How bad is the punishment? I told you already, didn't I? I'm used to this, you don't have to— " You raise a finger at him with a loud 'Shh'.
"No punishment, guess she got sick of me." His shoulder slumps in relief, before shuddering at the memory of your punishment last time you got in a fight on his behalf. "Fine then, let's get used to this, but they also have to get used to having their face bashed in." You got Bruno at the first half. He whines, saying your name while dragging out the vowels. "I mean it. D'you hear me Mateo? Next time I'm aiming at your nose!" You laugh maniacally as Bruno grabs your hand to pull you with him, running out of the school and into the dusty roads.
*****
It's a cool evening. You are finally out of the house for the first time today, after receiving an earful from your mother. She scolded you for getting into a fight again, for being an embarrasment . "What about Serena's daughter? Top of your class and loved by the teachers. She's never been in a fight, not once." You look down, not in shame because you do not regret your decisions but because you already heard this kind of talk before. Your mother likes to compare you to her friend's children a lot.
Everyone in Encanto must've heard her because everyone is looking at you with pity in their eyes. You do not waver, and you hold your head high. They ought to focus on their own business, so what if they think of you as beastly rather than ladylike? You let out a 'hmph' when you catch Mateo looking at you. He did look sorry so there's that.
"We should stop being friends." Your smile wavered. Bruno looks down at the ground, hands stiff against his sides as if trying not to fidget. You hide the flowers behind you, the flowers that you were supposed to give him this evening to cheer him up. Knowing that he would blame himself for the scolding you received.
"It's not a big deal Bruno, I get scolded all the time anyway," You say. "I mean it." He answers, now looking up to meet your eyes. You sigh and nod, willing yourself to keep your composure and not turn into a wailing, clingy, friend. "Fine then. Here." You fling the flowers at his chest. "You ungrateful, brat." You say, venom dripping thick from your words. So much for keeping your composure. Bruno looks hurt at first, then he scowls. "U-ungrateful? I never asked you to- to protect me or whatever it is you were doing!" He stomps his foot on the ground. "What I'm doing, is looking out for my bestfriend!" You shout back at him.
"I bet you were just using me as an excuse to... to— " He stutters.
"To what, Bruno? To beat people up? To get scolded? To be branded as a delinquent!?" You shriek.
"I don't know! Just leave me alone!"
You say nothing. The two of you were breathing hard, and you are surprised at yourself for the familiar tingle of electricity in your hands, the familiar feeling of wanting to hit someone. He looks at you, still scowling, his hands clenching into fists. You surprise yourself again at the thought of fighting him, and even more so at your confidence in winning against him. You feel as though your heart sank. You would never hit Bruno.
"If only you were this brave against your bullies," You say. He lets out a shaky breath as you walk away.
Days pass without a word from Bruno. Which is expected. Even though you had fights before, it was never as serious as this. You find yourself gravitating towards him, almost subconsciously until you catch yourself and walk away instead. He's the one who broke it off with you, all that's left now is to get used to his absence.
The walk to school is lonely, and so is lunch. You used to sit next to him in class, now you sit far apart like strangers. It took a lot of effort to ignore his presence, to not greet him 'Goodmorning,' like you always did, to not sit beside him and give him half your sandwich during break times. But it's so easy, to talk to Mateo. To look at him straight in the eye and say "If you mess with Bruno one more time I swear to God I'll forget about Him and my family and kill you, or anyone who even tries."
You spend your time pouring over books instead. Dedicating yourself to your studies, the days blur faster and faster until you become one of Encanto's smartest, smarter than Serena's daughter. You didn't think of it as something you should be proud of. Anyone could do it, but your parents sure are happy. "Finally, I knew you had it in you." They'd say. "See? You only had to distance yourself from Bruno, now you are our shining star." The teachers would say. As if you give a damn about their opinions, you only wanted to distract yourself from the empty feeling inside of you.
You have found yourself another friend though, his name is Agustin. You bonded over your shared love for literature, and your mutual friendship with Julieta. She had tried to ask you about Bruno, a lot of times. She wanted to know why the two of you suddenly grew apart, when you used to be inseparable. You'd laugh like you always do, and tell her that it's nothing and that she shouldn't worry about it anymore. You'd say that you don't care about Bruno anymore. And everyone found out that it was a lie when Bruno disappeared.
You grew up into a beautiful woman, intelligent and well-mannered, with suitors lining up and vying for your attention, Mateo being one of them. But never did you even bat an eyelash at them.
You are about to become a teacher, a promising one at that. Everything was perfectly planned, they even expected you to choose a man soon to get married. Everyone agreed that your future is bright.
Until Bruno disappeared.
Everyone tried looking for him, most of the villagers helped, albeit unenthusiastically. What was most shocking was you. You who claimed to not care about him, you who have not talked to him for years, you who are now looking for him with vigor that rivaled even that of his own family. You did become a teacher, but you have not married anyone yet and it didn’t seem like you are about to anytime soon.
****
You plowed through your guilt, trying to remind yourself that he should be none of your concern.
But it must've been lonely...his walks to school, and back home. It must have been horrible, listening to people comparing him to you, calling him a bad influence as well as bad luck. You plowed through your guilt, but it must've been painful when people would act nasty towards him for not getting the vision, the future that they wanted. It must've been awful, feeling like a burden to your family, never being good enough or smart enough.
You plow through your sadness, putting on a bright smile each day. Wherever Bruno was, you wished him happiness. You are a teacher now, and with that power, comes even greater power to hammer it into your student's heads that no one should ever be treated badly specially if they have not done you wrong. That words are powerful weapons. It's the least you could do.
****
"I'm telling you, I have absolutely no interest. Zero. None." You stare defiantly at Julieta, aggressively crossing your arms. "Just try," She says.
"No."
She sighs. "Come on, he's been pining over you for years."
"Didn't ask him to." You answer. You two are currently inside the kitchen, making snacks.
She sighs and talks about the weather instead, and you're grateful for the change of subject. Mateo is the least of your worries.
"Is the shop doing okay?" She asks.
"Yep, but I may have bitten more than I can chew."
"What do you mean? Oh, don't tell me you regret your decision," She says and you shake your head.
"Of course not, you think it's my life's ambition to die as a teacher? No. I'd rather own a bookstore, and die inside of it during an earthquake.
"Don't say things like that," She says.
"What I meant was, I'm getting old. Those boxes of books aren't helping my back, I need help Julieta."
"Firstly, you're not even that old, secondly why didn't you say s— "
"atatata." You say, shaking a finger at her. "I am not asking for help from Luisa or Camilo or even Maribel. Your family is busy enough as it is."
"Fine, then who else are you going to ask?" She starts wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"Definitely not Mateo." You say with a blank look on your face, contrasting her teasing expression.
You look down at your work, with a nonchalantly raised eyebrow.
"Help from Bruno would be nice."
You look up at her when you hear a choking noise.
"Are you okay?"
She stares at you with wide eyes.
"Well, yes. I'm surprised that's all." She answers.
"I heard you choke, do you need water?" You ask.
She gives you a confused look.
"I didn't choke. I was just shock because this is the first time you've mentioned him in so long. What changed? Do you miss him?"
"But I definitely heard you choke."
"Now you're just changing the subject... You miss him." She says in a sing-song voice.
You are fond of this teasing side of Julieta, but only when it's directed to Agustin and not you.
"Fine then, I guess it was just my imagination." You say.
"You can tell me anything, you know." Julieta says, grabbing whatever it was you were working on and putting it aside. She raises an eyebrow at you with her hands on her hips. You sigh.
"I shouldn't...Dolores might hear," You say.
"Bruno himself could be listening and I still won't care. I just want to finally know what you're feeling on the matter." She answers. You say nothing and she puts her hand on yours.
"You've been torturing yourself over this for years. Talking about it might help."
You feel your lips tremble, and your eyes involuntarily water.
"But I don't deserve help." You finally say with sob and she hugs you.
"Oh dear, Oh dear." She mutters, rubbing your back with soothing circles.
"Now why would you say that?" She asks. You hug her tighter, sniffling as you look down at her skirt. "I abandoned him...even though he's the one who broke up with me, I should've known better. He was probably just looking out for me." You pulled away to look at Julieta in the eyes.
"I thought I was the one protecting him but It's been the opposite all this time. He was the one taking care of me. He was the one comforting me when my family's expectations were becoming too much, he was the one reminding me to drink plenty of water and do my homework an- and...I'm so stupid. He probably broke it off because he blames himself for everything and I left him, I just left him there."
Casita offers you a chair while Julieta hands you a warm cup of tea and a handkerchief to wipe your tears with. You take a deep breath after thanking them both.
"Sorry, I don't know why I just exploded." You chuckle awkwardly.
"That tends to happen to people who bottle up their feelings for too long... Ay Bruno, where are you." Julieta sighs.
"Wherever he is, I hope he's happy and that no one's messing with him."
Julieta giggles. "I remember catching you cornering Mateo against the wall. Your threat worked really well because they stopped bullying Bruno." She takes a seat beside you. "See? Even after what happened between the two of you, you still looked out for him. I know, with the face your making right now that you think it wasn't enough but it is. I'm sure if Bruno knew, he would be happy. He would know that you truly care for him."
"I slapped him with flowers." You say.
Julieta blinks at you. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I didn't really slap him, I threw the flowers at him when he told me that he didn't want to be friends anymore. I'm an idiot."
"That sounds just like you, aggressive even when expressing love." She sighs.
"I-I was not expressing l-love!" You exclaimed. "I was mad at him, that's why I threw the flowers." She hums and says nothing.
"Wait, no. Maybe you're right. Maybe I was being too much! I was probably being too clingy. I must've made him so uncomfortable and that must be the reason why he didn’t want me as a friend anymore." You lean your head over your palms with a groan. "I doubt that." She says. You look back at Julieta. "I know my brother and I'm telling you, he looks the happiest when you shower him with care and affection..."
"He shines when he's with you, like a little plant basking in your sunlight." She smiles while making little wavy gestures with her fingers
"Do you...Do you think he'll come back?" You ask.
Julieta shrugs, standing up to resume your work. "If he does, will you talk to him?" She asks back. "No." You answer and she laughs. "We'll see."
****
Bruno's back.
Bruno is back and you curse at the lost opportunity to die inside your bookstore during the earthquake that caused a mountain to split in two. You did what you do best: Pretend that you are not bothered at all.
You are among the people in charge with handing out water, snacks, and coffee, but you actively avoid going near Bruno. You catch a glimpse of him sometimes and you drink the sight of him in like a starved animal. He's still as soft-spoken as always. You'd hear his kind voice whenever he offers help to carry your basket. You'd smile, hand him a cookie and walk away, you heart hammering against your chest so violently you can hear it pulsing with a noise that sounds suspiciously like 'Stupid, stupid, stupid.'
It's all so familiar yet so distant at the same time. He's still the same kindhearted, pleasant, shy, Bruno but his hair is longer and thicker, he looks like he's been through shit which is obvious, but he gets better and better at talking to people, even cracking jokes here and there. It's all very pleasant specially now that everyone seems to be getting their shit together.
You're happy just like this, glaring at the familiar faces of his past bullies, reminding them of your threat before they approach Bruno.
You think about what Dolores just told you, the fact that Bruno has never actually left the house and that she heard your mental breakdown in the kitchen, that Bruno heard it too, and that he was the one who made the choking sound. You thought, perhaps the mountain over there split apart so you could go ahead and leave.
"I know what you're contemplating, and I'm telling you It won't work."
You glance at Agustin.
"Why do you think so?" You ask.
"I know so. You can't leave." He steps beside you, hands clasped behind him.
"What makes you say that?"
"Because... My little impulsive friend, you won't be able to carry all your books across that mountain." He answers. You raise an eyebrow, thinking. Then you let out a tiny 'hmph' in agreement. "Don't just 'hmph' at me. Come on, time for lunch."
Since the Casita is finally finished, everyone decided to eat lunch in the same table as a celebration before the opening of the newly built home of the Madrigals.
Smaller tables were clustered together in one neat line to serve as one huge table.
Camilo insists on making you and Julieta sit down for once as they set the table instead, saying that it's always the two of you who does it and that it's your turn to chill. Agustin sits beside Julieta as she sits on your right. You raise an eyebrow at Julieta as she practically grabs you to face her. "Agustin told me that you thought of running away." She says with a worried look on her face. "Oh you know me, Julieta. You both do. I would never leave...more like I can't but that's besides the point." Julieta sighs. "You really meant it when you said you won't talk to Bruno when he comes back." You say nothing and you shake your head. She holds your hand, and gives it a light squeeze and she whispers "I'm sorry." before facing the table and handing you your serving. You blink, confused at her apology then you shrug. You turn to the table as it is finally set and it was time to eat. "Mango?" The person to your left asks, while handing you a bowl of sliced mangoes. "Thanks." You say, turning to face him. Your eyes widen, hands stopping in the middle of taking the bowl. Bruno stares back at you with a sheepish smile. You slowly turn to Julieta who also gives you a sheepish smile. "Just take the mangoes." Agustin whispers from behind Julieta and she nudges at him with her elbow. "What? people over here wants mangoes too." He says.
You turn to the bowl being held by you and Bruno. He slowly lets go of it once he was pretty sure that you won't drop it. You take a few slices and pass it on to Julieta and Agustin. You strain your focus on Pepa's story instead of the man beside you. you sneak a glance at him, only to catch him staring at you. He snaps his gaze away, grabbing his glass of water to drink instead, hiding his face from you. You pursed your lips, your emotions a mixed whirlwind of nervousness, and glee.
Not much happens after that and finally the Madrigals open the door of their new home. They cheer as their gifts return once again. It was finally finished and you can now go back to the comfort of your book filled paraiso. Someone shouts your name and you all but jump to face Bruno with a smile on your face. You don't even know why you're smiling, it's like your body is reacting on it's own at even just the possibility of spending time with him. But your smile falls and your shoulders slump. It isn't even Bruno, It's Mateo. He must've seen your smile because he practically sprinted towards you. "Hey," he says and you give him a polite smile. "I can walk you home." He offers. "You can but you don't have to." He chuckles at your answer and proceeds to walk towards your home. He stops when he realizes that you were not walking with him. Most of the other villagers are already on the way home some passing the two of you by with curious looks. "What's the matter?" He asks but you ignore him. You had been decent towards him, and that's good and mature of you but you'd regret it if you being kind towards him made it seem like you were interested.
Your eyes land on a patch of flowers growing beside the road. They were the same flowers you threw at Bruno back then. You dart towards them, a giddy smile finds its way on your face and you hear Mateo ask you another question but you weren't able to pay attention as you crouch down to pick the flowers. It's the perfect opportunity to apologize to Bruno. You'd give him the flowers, and you won't fling them at him. This time you're doing it right.
You gasp as you were rudely grabbed and spun around. "Please stop ignoring me." Mateo pleads. "Let go!" You shriek catching the attention of people around you.
"Look, I have been in love with you for years, you have no idea."
"Tio Bruno someone's harrassing your girlfriend!!!" You hear Camilo scream.
Mateo releases his grip on your shoulders and he grabs you by the wrist instead. He glares at Bruno, who was now facing you both. You look around, seeing people's eyes on you, some worried, some glaring at Mateo, some scared. You see Julieta gasp, her hands covering her mouth as Agustin calls your name. Your eyes land on your free hand, the one holding the flowers. Another opportunity ruined. Maybe you should just try again tomorrow.
"What girlfriend?" Mateo lets out a mocking laugh. "You really think she would go for someone like you."
"You should ask yourself that." Bruno retorts, eyes darting to Mateo, to his hand that was wrapped around your wrist and to you.
"Let go of me right now, Mateo. We are not in a dramatic telenovela, stop making a scene because we are too old for this and I will not hesitate to knock you on your ass." Mateo shakes his head. "You've always had a nasty personality." Mateo says. "You're one to talk." You say, eyes narrowing at him. "But I love that about you." He continues and you cringe.
he pulls you against him and you clench your fist, the familiar violent anger inside of you is starting to poke its nasty head out of the pit you had shoved and hid it in for years. Luisa approaches the two of you with gritted teeth and tense shoulders, before she could do anything Bruno yells "Stop!"
"You're hurting her," He says. He stares at you, his round eyes watery and there's something in them that makes your throat tighten and your eyes sting. "You're hurting her and that's no way to treat someone you love, especially if you actually want her to stay." His voice cracks at the end of his sentence but he pushes through, slowly approaching the two of you. "If you truly love her, you have to be willing to let her go, even if you've been pining over her since forever...if it's for her own good, then you have to be content on just seeing her, admiring her from a distance."
"What like you did?" Mateo says. You think I'm a loser like you to be conte—"
"But I wanted to be with you." You cry out. Mateo looks at you with hope filled eyes, only to see you staring right back at Bruno. "I want to be with you." You clarified. "I- I want to be with you too." Bruno says, giving you a shaky but relieved smile.
You take a deep breath, and before Mateo could even open his mouth to speak, you let go of your flowers and deck him in one punch. He falls to the ground, howling in pain as blood rushes out of his nose. "I told you next time I'm aiming for your nose." You scowl down at him, then your scowl vanishes in an instant as you pick up the flowers from the ground. You stood up from the ground after gathering the flowers, to turn towards Bruno but he was already there, right in front of you. He engulfs you in a hug and you hug him back, relieved and happy, too happy. You see Julieta sprinting to you with an arepa. "Here, for your wrist...and your fist." You take it gratefully as you finish your hugging session with Bruno. "Did you really mean it, when you said that you want to be with me?" He asks. You nod at him, while trying to chew your arepa quickly to verbally answer him. "Slow down, I've been patient for years, I'm not going to rush you now." He chuckles. You both turn to the others as Luisa hauls Mateo away, Julieta refusing to give him an arepa for his nose while Abuela ushers the others inside, to give the two of you some privacy. The remaining villagers also start to resume their way home, while congratulating you and Bruno. They giggle at your flustered faces, and some of them offers you sympathetic words after expressing their disappointment in Mateo.
You finally finished eating your arepa, but you have no idea how to express your feelings in the most flowery and romantic way, So you hand him the flowers in your hand. He was about to take the flowers but your eyes widen in realization and you snatch them away.
"I really am an idiot." You say.
"What's wrong?" Bruno asks, looking at you with worried eyes.
"I don't even know what flower this is, let alone its meaning. I could be giving you a flower that symbolizes death or something." Your hand collides with your forehead, you were a lot more of an air-head than you thought. Bruno rubs your forehead gently to sooth your slap as you curse at yourself.
"Let me help you with that," Isabela says.
"That's an alstroemeria also called Lily of the Incas, it symbolizes friendship and devotion."
You and Bruno sigh in relief. "That's great then." Bruno says and Isabela scoffs.
"Yeah but only when...like, years ago." She says. "What you really want is this, it symbolizes new beginnings," She says as she hands you a yellow rose. "...and this, you know what this one means" She hands you a red rose, Then she walks off with a flip of her long hair.
You and Bruno stare at each other as he nervously chuckles. You combine all the flowers and hand it to him.
"Here, lilies because I'm devoted to you, and you're still the best friend I've ever had, yellow roses because I want to be with you again, even after being apart for years... and red roses because I love you, I've had a massive crush on you since we were kids, you know.. I wanted to say it in a more romantic way but I guess being straight to the point is good."
"I...I feel the same way, but," he hesitates. "Are you sure you want to be with me? I'm not like Mariano, who's handsome and poetic, and talented, I'm not reliable, not strong, or attractive. I even messed up our friendship, I hurt you. He said, hands lowering. You give him a smile as you grab his hands. You open up his palm and you put the flowers in his hands. "I do want to be with you. You are talented, and kind, thoughtful and caring. You're weird and adorable, and you are very attractive. I love your gentle eyes, your soft curly hair, your cute nose and your manly stubble. You did not mess up our frienship, you know why?" He looks at you with his wide doe eyes. "Because here we are, confessing our feelings for each other. The feelings that we kept for years. You did not hurt me. I mean, I was hurt but I know you, I know that it wasn't your intention...besides, it was my fault too."
He shakes his head. "It was not."
You giggle at him. "Fine then. It was none of our fault, and both our fault at the same time." He tilts his head adorably. "That kind of doesn't make any sense... I like it though." He says, nodding his head at the last part of his sentence.
"Let me walk you home?" He asks, still holding your hands in his right, with your flowers in his left. You nod, and you feel your cheeks starting to hurt from smiling too much but you can't stop.
**
"Did you really consider hitting me back then?" Bruno asks with a giggle. You walk beside each other, towards your house. "I did, I was surprised at myself too...I'm sorry." You say. "Oh no, don't apologize. I'd hit me too."
"I also now know why Mateo and the others stopped. You didn't have to do that, and yet you did." Bruno says. You take his hands in yours. "I told you, I care about you a lot. Like a lot, alot." He smiles at you. "I care about you too, like a whooole lot. I'm not good at showing it though." he says. "Or maybe I'm just not good a noticing it." you answer.
You both stop in front of your house. "See you tomorrow?" He asks. "If you want." You say to him, squeezing his hands. "Of course. I'll help you with your shop." You both laugh at the memory of him choking at your words and you having a meltdown on their kitchen all the while he, the missing love of your life is right there.
"I'm going to be...I would like to spend lots of time with you from now on, to make up for the time we lost. If it's alright with you," he says while looking away from you and wiping his palms against his ruana. "Of course Bruno, I'd love that." You answer. You let go of his hands to clasp them behind you as you lean closer to kiss him on his cheek. You see his eyes widening as you pull away. "Then you better get used to seeing me around." He chuckles.
"I could get used to that."