Chapter Text
You marched up stairs and across halls listlessly, your stomach churning so much there was no hope of eating anything during your lunch break. “I can’t do this,” you muttered anxiously, stopping only when the clack of your heels against the tile floor of the UN-SPIDER building began to give you a headache. You promptly sat down on a plush bench outside a large room filled with people working diligently at their cubicles, trying not to draw attention to yourself. You took deep breaths, but there was no quelling the pounding in your ears.
You hadn’t expected to feel so overwhelmed. True to his word, Ambassador Gottfried had spread the word about you, and you received an email from the secretary Gunter Althaus about an upcoming meeting at this very building, the United Nations Platform for Space-based Information for Disaster Management and Emergency Response. That was ultimately why you had chosen to go to Bonn, all so you could see the country-humans again and get a headstart to your career.
You had been excited to see the building again at its beautiful location along the Rhine. Yet from the moment you saw the campus with its signature semi-circle-shaped skyscraper, you felt like you had been punched in the gut. There were so many memories, so intense in their nostalgia and love that you had to collect yourself in the restroom. It was so bitingly terrible that you couldn’t focus in class at all and sent your new friends off to lunch without you.
Maybe that was a mistake, because you were beginning to feel anxious in kind. So little had changed, which only made you all the more aware that you were aging. Suddenly, despite only being nineteen, you felt like you had so little time left to reunite with those special people, like decades working for them wouldn’t be enough. Worst of all, you knew how selfish that was. Though you were too young for serious discussions of mortality back then, you had a better understanding of how burdensome their lives were now. It was quite possible any one of them wished they could take your place.
No, they’re too kind for that, you realized, and almost burst into tears there and then. That’s right, those sweet nation-people would surely never want anyone to go through what they had time and time again. They would not want to know the secret buried in your heart, kept even more closely than your wish just to see them again. If you had the chance for immortality, no matter how much it pained or disappointed others, you weren’t sure what you would choose. That indecision alone, you felt, would break their compassionate hearts.
You knew you were just putting words in their mouths, but for eight lonesome years, they had occupied your mind so fiercely. Thinking of such things as Italy’s joyfulness, Germany’s steadfastness or Japan’s calmness played a crucial role in your outlook on life, on your decision making, on your personality. Their words, their faces influenced you as greatly as a parent or protagonist in a favorite book would. They had almost become imaginary friends, fragments of your consciousness, and that scared you. You wanted to be grounded in reality, yet you also felt you couldn’t do so without them. It was humiliating; would anyone even understand that?
You stood abruptly, deciding you had to go somewhere, anywhere . Of course, your main priority was the conference you were supposed to sit in on, but your class wasn’t over until four o’clock. However, you knew where they were. Part of you understood that, for all their bickering, they were working and shouldn’t be interrupted if it was unplanned. On the other hand, maybe they were on lunch, too? It couldn’t hurt to at least peek, right? The thought made blood roar in your ears.
As you reminisced, you arrived at the ground floor via elevator. According to your phone, you still had thirty minutes left of your break, so you had plenty of time to maybe drop by the meeting and get a quick snack or two at the vending machines. Then you had to focus. Your dreams of working for them would never come to fruition if you didn't knock your internship work out of the park. You had to be the absolute best, unquestionably qualified for the job as a secretary.
The elevator you had taken was at the back of the building, furthest from the main doors. Lines of doors to conference rooms dotted the hall, and you followed the numbers to the largest one. With each step, your heart rate quickened and your pace increased. You were starting to feel dizzy. The people dearest to you, the people you had been separated from for almost a decade were within arm’s length. How would they react? Would they be happy to see you? Happy to know you wanted to work for them?
Finally, you reached the door. You could hear many people talking, and it brought back so many memories. There were many times you impatiently waited for your father and the others to finish their work so you could play or eat, and on some occasions, you burst in thoughtlessly. You smiled. You had such a wonderful childhood, one uniquely yours and no one else’s.
You started to space out again, and that was why you failed to notice the vibrations of someone stomping towards the door. Too late, it flew up and promptly smacked you in the face.
“Ow!” you yelped, stumbling backward and holding your nose.
“Oh, Jesus!” your accidental assailant shouted. He caught himself and spoke in German next. “I am so sorry. Are you alright?”
You peeked at him and blinked, once, twice at Arthur Kirkland, with his bushy eyebrows and stylishly unkempt blond hair and eyes so green it was as if they were a clue that he wasn’t exactly human.
Before you could make a sound the door opened again, hitting England from behind. “Ow!” he cried, stepping away and holding the back of his head. Well, at least that made it up to you.
“Well hell, England, why are you standing there?” France asked, smiling easily. He was wearing a suit and brown tie, the pants and jacket a matching shade of navy. He looked just as striking and familiar, down to the handsome stubble that dotted his chin. The door began to close, but he casually held his arm out to keep it open. “Germany called for lunch because of your hissy fit.”
“Hissy fit my ass!” England barked with a glare. He turned back to you, and the anger instantly fell away and was replaced with concern. France followed his gaze, and his eyes widened.
You didn’t even realize you were misty-eyed until your vision blurred with tears, which began silently rolling down your cheeks. You couldn’t breathe. You knew they were here, but seeing them in the flesh was like taking an injection of dopamine. All the pain in your nose vanished, and through the torrential emotions of disbelief and joy, you managed to croak out, “England...France….”
You sometimes thought about how funny and exciting it would be to stumble into any of them by chance, but to truly see them in front of you was like this, even though it was expected, took your breath away.
Before either of them could say anything you lunged, throwing your arms around their necks. “I missed you so much!”
You were smiling so widely your cheeks threatened to tear, though you knew they were confused. But you had to feel them, to sense them fully and register that you weren’t dreaming.
They were completely frozen, but after a moment England managed to speak. “Wait a tic...__________, is that you?”
“Yes!” Gunter must have told them about you. You owed that man the world.
At that, France broke into a grin and suddenly took you into his arms, shoving England out of your gasp and giving an exaggerated kiss to your cheek.
“My God, look at you!” France said, squeezing you. You didn’t mind at all; in fact, your head was full of fluffy clouds and the stray thought of how much closer you were to his face in terms of height. “My dear, I didn’t think we’d meet again! We were all so shocked when Gunter told us you were in town.”
You almost broke down completely, but swallowed your tears and nodded wordlessly. It was hard to resist clinging to him like you once did as a child, back when he told you to see him as a big brother. You never did call him that or see him that way, because in your mind he was too old, but he really did take great care of you. He held your hand, carried you around, shared stories, and even taught you a bit about cooking. He had been a great comfort figure to you.
But England meant a great deal to you as well, so you finally broke away and grabbed him without waiting for reciprocation. Fortunately, he did hold you in return after another second of frozen shock.
“Blimey!” he gasped, finding his words. The hug was brief, and he looked you in the eye and said, “Is that really you?”
You nodded rapidly.
He sighed. “Of all the people to hit with that damn door,” he muttered, and you burst into laughter.
“It’s okay, it surprised me more than anything!”
Just then, someone inside the room cleared his throat awkwardly. You looked in and squeaked despite knowing what - or rather, who - would be there. You were staring into a massive assembly hall, bright and shiny, with rows of long curved tables with computers facing a podium. Dozens of eyes were on you, staring quizzically, and all looking exactly as they did when you last saw them in the flesh.
“What? _________?” Belgium, who sat closest to the door and heard your exchange, got up and walked over to you.
“Yes! Just like Gunter said,” France answered excitedly.
Her eyes widened, and you smiled hopefully. Belgium, like most of the other girls, had doted on you with the occasional ‘girl time’ like shopping or slumber parties. It didn’t happen often given you were so young, but you still had vivid memories of playing simple card games and learning to read children’s stories in different languages with the girls.
“Belgium!” you squealed as she embraced you happily.
Chatter resonated in the room as a few more familiar faces rose to greet you with disbelieving and enthusiastic eyes. Even as you faced them, touched them, you knew you were perfectly reflecting their incredulous expressions. You weren’t entirely sure you weren’t lying unconscious in the hallway even as America nearly crushed you in an overenthusiastic hug. If all of this was a dream from the moment you were told everyone was in Bonn, you didn’t want to wake up.
“Hey, hey, hey! Where’s my hug?” When you turned to see who interrupted, you laughed and obliged him.
“Hi, Prussia! Oh my gosh, I missed you - all of you!”
Apparently, Prussia only occasionally appeared at conferences in Europe, but his attendance had increased when you were around. He was great with you out of a fondness for children, and often sated your boredom with grand stories of his past. He had been almost like a brother to you back then like France, though now as an adult it didn't feel right to still regard him as such. Your relationship with him required evaluation at a later time, but for now, you were going to savor this moment.
“This is awesome! Look who it is, West!”
Germany looked stunned, his mouth hanging open in a way that equally surprised you. Germany was always so put together, but he was at a loss for words. You offered a smile, and that seemed to snap him to attention.
“Yes, I heard that you would be here,” he muttered, shaking your hand firmly. It was hard to not hug him, too, but you managed to respect his personal space. Even when you were little, he always recoiled a bit when you sought his affection, though he never outright denied you.His reactions led to your mother needing to talk to you about boundaries. “It’s hard to believe it’s been so long.”
"I thought you were going to come later?" England asked once everyone was settled, and you suddenly felt bashful.
"Well, I’m on lunch," you confessed, looking down humbly, “and I kind of just...wanted to see everyone sooner, if I could. Is - Is that weird?”
There was a moment of silence, but just as you were starting to feel sufficiently awkward Belgium spoke up.
"That's wonderful!" She clapped her hands together. "So you were having class in this building? I didn’t know that!"
"Yeah, and you guys are reviewing your information sharing contracts since they’re due for renewal, right?"
France rolled his eyes dismissively. "Yes, yes, all that boring stuff. But let’s not talk about that! So you decided to become our next secretary, eh? Well, it’s good you know how the job works!”
You smiled and nodded firmly. Per your father, you understood that these people often conducted the preliminary work for deals between countries. They were the ones to take the first step to formal and public processes of international relations. It was incredibly important, though maybe a bit underappreciated by the masses. Your father and other secretaries would put the meetings together and attend for note-taking purposes, and would sometimes run errands like responding to emails, relaying information, or just grabbing lunch. Organizing transportation, accommodations, and catering was also a part of the job. In the grand scheme of things, it seemed almost completely insignificant, but these people in front of you were more than worth it.
The way France spoke as if you were guaranteed the position riled up your emotions again, and just then your phone played an alarm. You had five minutes to return to class. Overwhelmed by the sudden reunion, your logic went out the window as you were struck by a wave of fear that these beloved people would disappear just as quickly.
“Oh, no,” you sputtered, teetering dangerously close to sobbing. No, you couldn’t throw a temper tantrum! You weren’t a child anymore! “I just...I just met you all again….”
Scared to make a fool of yourself, you were grateful as some of the girls promptly pushed you out of the room to recover.
“Now, now, no need for tears,” Hungary tutted as she hauled you into the restroom.
You feebly wiped at your eyes. “I know, I’m sorry. But...but….”
You heard someone next to you sniffle, and Czech rolled her eyes. “Geez, Ukraine, don’t you start!”
“I can’t help it! It’s been so long since I’ve seen little __________,” the motherly nation replied. Ukraine was such a wonderful figure to you growing up, a dutiful big sister you could always rely on. With a strangled cry, the two of you embraced. Fortunately, your growth prevented you from being smothered in her bosom.
Belgium grabbed your arms and forced you apart. “And she has to get to class!” she barked. Then she smiled and started straightening your clothes as Liechtenstein dabbed at your eyes with a handkerchief. “Listen, you’ll come back at four o’clock, and then once the meeting ends we can hang out! How does that sound?”
A shudder wracked your entire body as a strangled cry rose in your throat. The last thing you wanted to be when you saw them again was a mess, but that was exactly what was happening. “Can I? Really?”
Czech clapped her hands together.“Of course! You’re grown now, so that means we can have some actual girl time!”
“I might cry again when I come back,” you admitted sheepishly, but the girls only laughed.
Hungary hugged you. “You’ve grown into such a lovely young lady.” She gently pushed you towards the door. “I’d love to see you become our new secretary, but you have to put your schooling first! Now shoo!”
You were in a stupor as you staggered out of the restroom and back up the stairs to class. Without thinking you pinched yourself the entire time, still shocked breathless by what had transpired. It had been a whirlwind, there and gone in the blink of an eye. None of it felt real quite yet. But you did know one thing for sure: it was about to get a lot harder to pay attention in class.
>To continue, go to "A Dinner to Remember"