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"Give me back my friends," Chuuya growls.
"Welcome, boring guest," Shibusawa replies disinterestedly. "I didn't expect you to give me what I desire. Die now, as they did. All your friends killed themselves. Boring people are boring, even in death."
As Shibusawa is speaking, Dazai notices the corpses strewn about the room, frozen in different stages of agony. He thinks to himself, This is not good.
"Teme…" Chuuya activates his ability. "Don't stop me," he directs at Dazai.
Dazai wouldn't even dream of it. "Oh dear. Corruption, huh?"
Chuuya screams from the depths of his soul as Arahabaki overtakes him and the building explodes, incinerating everything around him but Dazai.
*****
The next morning, Dazai finds himself at Oda's apartment, pacing back and forth.
"You could go visit him, you know," Oda suggests helpfully from his couch.
Dazai shudders. "No, he's in the hospital." Just the thought of being in one of those cold, harsh, sterile rooms is enough to send shivers up his spine, despite how hardened a couple years in the mafia has made him. No amount of blood on his hands can wash away the horrors he has experienced under the careful incisions made by a skillfully wielded scalpel.
Oda kindly ignores Dazai's stricken reaction and moves past it. "Do you know when he'll be released?"
"I suspect they won't keep him long. I got to him sooner than normal. He was so angry that it didn't take him long to destroy everything around him. Such a destructive ability…" Dazai's tone shifts from one of concern to one of awe.
"What if you visited him at home? I'm sure he needs a friend right now. Isn't this the second group of friends he lost within a year?"
Dazai startles. "Friend? Since when have the chibi and I been friends? He's my dog."
Oda eyes him suspiciously. "Are you not partners?"
"Yes, of course he's my partner," Dazai snaps. He pauses for a moment, realizing that he just snapped at Odasaku of all people. He must be more worried about the little hatrack than he thought. Heading toward the door, he concedes, "You're right. I'll see you later; I need to go take care of my dog."
*****
Later that afternoon, Dazai manages to thoroughly make himself at home at Chuuya's penthouse. He rummages through his cabinets, looking for canned crab. He tries on all his fancy hats, throwing them in a pile on the floor in disgust at his ridiculous reflection. He mixes up Chuuya's meticulously organized wine collection, resisting the temptation to replace the wine with vinegar, thinking he would go easy on the slug for once after the night he just had. He decides to make up for that by leaving some special drawings on the wall in permanent marker, however. By the time Chuuya is dropped off from the hospital, Dazai has taken to reclining on his couch, reading one of his secret romance novels that Chuuya mistakenly thinks he has hidden well.
As soon as the door creaks open, Dazai lights up in fake cheer. "Chibi! You're home! I was beginning to think that the evil hospital was going to keep you forever. I was about to forge a will so I can inherit this beautiful home."
Chuuya looks awful, Dazai notes. He must be feeling just as bad as he looks, because he doesn't take the bait.
"Dazai, go home," he begs, with barely any fight in his voice. He sounds completely exhausted, even beyond his normal level after using Corruption. His eyes are swollen and have dark bags underneath, his skin is paler and more splotchy than usual, his hair is messy, and his posture has none of its usual fiery resolve.
Dazai smiles at him, eyes squinting shut, and offers a simple, "No."
"Please, Dazai. I can't deal with you today."
He must really be in a bad place if he's already saying "please," so his words have the opposite of their desired effect on Dazai.
"What kind of owner would I be if I left my dog alone in this state?"
"What if I want to be alone?" Chuuya tries to snarl but his sullen appearance completely negates his attempt. He has the countenance of an injured puppy.
"I really don't think you should be," Dazai says, suddenly serious. "You've been through a lot in the last day or so."
Really, your entire life, he thinks. He feels a pang in his heart, looking at his partner. He can't quite identify what this ache means, but he doesn't like it. He wants to fix it. He runs through his options for handling this situation, recalling what Oda had pointed out about how Chuuya had managed to lose yet another group of friends in such a short amount of time. He thinks about what normal, human people need to do in order to grieve and move on. With just a touch of horror, he realizes that what Chuuya probably needs most is to be comforted while being allowed to cry. Comfort is very much not within Dazai's skillset; quite the opposite, actually. Torture he excels in, but comfort? He's never even really thought about it. But unfortunately for him, he's already here and committed to fixing this, so he sighs and does what he needs to do.
Dazai moves his feet to the floor, making room on the couch for Chuuya, and pats the seat next to him. "Come here," he orders.
Chuuya gives him a wary look and doesn't move. "What are you doing?"
"I told you, I'm here to take care of my dog."
"I didn't ask you to."
"You didn't have to. I decided to be a responsible pet owner for once." Despite his mocking words, he holds eye contact with Chuuya, willing him to believe that he's being serious for once.
After considering it for a few moments, Chuuya apparently loses the battle with his pride and tentatively sits down next to him. Dazai's heart quickens minutely, but he decides to ignore that and dissect it later.
Dazai hesitates for a moment, steeling himself for what he's about to do. Without daring to look at Chuuya, he sneaks his arm around his shoulders. To his relief, instead of jerking away and punching him, Chuuya melts into his side. Dazai feels an unfamiliar warmth blossom and spread through his chest.
They sit like that for a few minutes. Dazai patiently waits for Chuuya to start crying so he can get it over with, but nothing happens. He realizes then that considering their normally antagonistic relationship, Chuuya might not be willing to show that kind of vulnerability in front of him, thus ruining his plan to fix the ache in his own chest. He realizes with dread that he's going to have to coax it out of him.
"You have permission to cry on me, you know," he attempts.
"The fuck? Why would I do that?" Chuuya raises his head to squint at Dazai with repulsion.
"It's what humans do when they lose people they care about. It's part of the healing process, or so I've observed. Trust me, it'll make you feel better." Dazai has no idea if what he's saying is even true, but he has to do something. The heaviness in his chest is only growing worse.
"Why do you even care?" Chuuya asks viciously. "Are you trying to get blackmail material or somethin'? Or wait, don't tell me this is just you trying to learn how normal people react so you can learn how to mimic them better."
Logically, Dazai acknowledges that Chuuya is just lashing out at him like a wounded dog trying to bite a person who's trying to help, but that doesn't soften the sting of his words. He recalls Chuuya's angry response from a few days prior:
"I'm human too, you know?"
"Nobody would believe that shit."
Dazai stiffens and begins to wonder if he's right, if someone like him has no business even attempting to comfort a human. He starts to draw his arm back when he hears a meek voice.
"Sorry. I didn't mean that."
He freezes.
"Thank you… for being here."
Dazai is fully aware of how meaningful an apology from Chuuya is and forces himself to relax again, drawing Chuuya back to him. He decides to give up on offering words and tries out some physical comfort instead. He twists Chuuya's body around and pulls him into his lap, his head close to his chest. With his free hand, he starts carding his fingers through his hair, surprised by how silky it feels. Chuuya makes a small noise and burrows his face deeper into his chest. Dazai loses track of time as he sits there, holding his partner close, feeling his own pain start to recede.
Eventually, Chuuya starts sniffling. Dazai continues to stroke his hair, not saying a word.
"Why does everyone leave me?" he asks suddenly. "Every time I think I find a family, they all either betray me because I wasn't good enough for them, or they fucking die. I don't know much more of this I can take." A small sob escapes him. More sobs soon follow, and before long Dazai can feel a wet patch through his dress shirt.
Not trusting himself to say the right thing, Dazai just holds onto him tightly, letting Chuuya cry for as long as he needs to. Eventually, the sobs subside, and Chuuya's breath evens out. Dazai realizes with surprise that he has fallen asleep on his chest.
He's hit with a new conundrum. With how physically and emotionally exhausted Chuuya is, there's no telling how long he will be asleep. Should he risk waking him up and carry him to his bed, or should he just stay here and let his small partner sleep curled up in his lap? Finding himself completely unwilling to move, Dazai stays.
It's long been dark outside by the time Chuuya finally stirs again. Naturally, Dazai himself has been awake the entire time. He feels a bit stiff after not moving for hours, but without question, it was worth it. He mentally adds that to the growing list of things he will be pondering about when he can't sleep late at night.
Groggily, Chuuya murmurs, "Dazai?"
His lips pressed into Chuuya's fiery hair, he softly replies, "Yes, Chuuya?" The desire to use silly nicknames has long fled for now.
"You're still here." It isn't a question; it's a declaration of wonder.
Dazai realizes just how much it means to Chuuya that someone was there for him, that he actually stayed. His heart starts beating wildly, completely unused to this nameless emotion. Is it… affection? Maybe something more? Whatever it is, it doesn't matter right now. What does matter is the sleepy redhead in his lap. Dazai vaguely wonders if Chuuya can feel how fast his heart is beating.
He stands up, Chuuya still in his arms, and carries him off to his bedroom. Gently, he lays him down in the bed. Without waiting for an invitation, he gets in with him, pulling the covers over both of them. He reaches out and pulls Chuuya close to his heart again, intertwining their legs, not caring about whatever consequences he'll have to deal with later. His cold image may forever be tarnished but he can't bring himself to care. Right now, his partner needs him, and he feels more human than ever before.