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Trying to Survive: Harem Novel Edition!

Summary:

“Would you believe me if I said that I didn’t mean to divorce you,” Dream says, scratching his head sheepishly. “It was the demons….I was actually possessed at the altar.”

The fox hybrid scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Sure, that would’ve been sort of believable, except it’s been...” he taps his chin, thinking. “Hmm, two months since the wedding? Just leave me alone, Dream.”

“Babe, please, just hear me ou-”

“You had your chance!” Fundy yells, slamming the door in Dream's face. “Besides, I...I don’t like fake blondes!”

“WHAT? I AM A REAL 100% CERTIFIED BLONDE! FUNDY!”

Or Dream gets isekai-ed into his sister's favorite novel and tries to seduce the most sane character. (For survival, of course.)

Notes:

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Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Dream breathes in deeply, eyes closed as he tries to meditate in peace. 

 

“My lord?" A voice cries out, banging incessantly on the door. "Please open up! The first prince is asking for you!”

 

“Ignore all distractions,” Dream mutters to himself, eyes squeezed shut as he covers his ears. “Think pleasant thoughts. Become one with the earth...”

 

“I guess we have no choice,” Foolish sighs tiredly from outside the room, massaging his head. “Callahan, bring hurry and bring that in. And be quick about it, won't you? It seems my brother has gone crazy.”

 

Callahan salutes, face expressionless as he rushes away. Foolish watches him go, crossing his arms. "When is Father going to return and end my misery..."

 

“First prince," Niki interrupts, smiling awkwardly. “Are you sure about this? I mean, Puffy did tell us to only use it in emergencies and-”

 

Foolish gestures towards the locked door, where an ominous aura can be seen leaking through. “This...is certainly an emergency. If we don't open this door today, then I fear it'll never open. Ever.”

 

“But still…I'm sure he'll open the door once he tires of this joke…”

 

“If anything goes wrong," Foolish states, swiping his hair back. "Then you can tell Father that I suggested it. Besides, Callahan's already here with the ke-”

 

He gets interrupted when Dream slams the door open, mouth pulled into a frown. “What's going on?” The blonde cries out, aghast. His face is pale as he walks out into the hallway, a piece of white clothing in his hands. “Whatever it is, I surrender, so please put down the sword?!”

 

Foolish holds up a gold key, tilting his head in confusion. “What sword...? I was just asking Callahan to go fetch the key for your room. You sure do have a...healthy imagination Dream.”

 

"Oh,” Dream says as he throws the white cloth on the floor. “I was joking. Hahaha, it’s so refreshing to see you being worried over me. Best big brother award goes to you.” 

 

Foolish raises an eyebrow. “Well, yes, but mostly because you still have unfinished paperwork. It's long overdue, and Father will definitely not be happy when she sees what you haven't been up to-”

 

“First prince,” Niki interrupts his tirade, backing away nervously. She gestures to the empty space in front of them, chewing on her bottom lip. “The Crown Prince jumped out of the window ten seconds ago.”

 

Foolish frowns, eyes twitching as he accidentally bends the key in his hands. “Callahan, go bring our beloved prince back," he orders, groaning loudly. "And, for the love of Prime-"

 

The masked knight sends them a thumbs up and jumps out of the window, fast on the Crown Prince's trail. Foolish coughs, staring off into the distance as he thinks about the events of the past week. “-use the door. God, Father is really not going to be pleased when she hears of what Dream’s been doing. Maybe it's not too late to run away.”

 

“I’m sure it'll be fine, my lord!” Niki consoles, taking the bent key and storing it away into her pocket. “Puffy’s not that strict! I'm sure she'll understand.”

 

Foolish sweat drops, letting out a weak laugh. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew how Father really was,” he mutters, shaking his head. "And what is a big brother award?"

 

“I...have no idea."

Notes:

survival instincts so strong they make you swan dive out of a window prince charming style