Chapter Text
C-ta is always extremely aware of his surroundings. From when he was young, he had tried his best to blend in with the crowds, to avert any sort of negative attention by casting himself in a friendly, approachable role. He knows that he's good-looking, and had been considered cute ever since he was a child. Therefore, when the way people look at him suddenly changes, from carefree grins to tight smiles, C-ta immediately knows something is wrong.
I've been found out, he thinks at first. Then, Found out? That's like I'm hiding something. C-ta isn't fooling anyone about anything, so what's there to worry about? Still, the stares and whispers are unbearable—he feels like he's in sixth grade all over again, the perfect image he'd built up through the years so close to crumbling down in an instant.
The final straw comes during lunch, when he catches sight of D-ne, not trailing after B-ko for once. The second her eyes meet his, she gives a curt nod. Maybe they are more alike than C-ta wants to admit, because D-ne can see straight through him to his anxiety, his weakness, and he can see past her harmless facade right to the dark amusement in her eyes. It's her! C-ta rises up, abandoning his meal to follow after her. He only barely manages to keep the irritation off his face as he tracks her down to an empty classroom.
His hand shoots out once she's in reach, fingers twisting tightly around her arm. “What did you do?”
Even though he must be a fearsome sight, D-ne looks at him without concern. “Me?” she scoffs, “Do you think I care enough to do something to you?”
As bad as D-ne's personality is, she sounds like she's telling the truth. C-ta knows very well that her world revolves around B-ko, and doing this wouldn't benefit either of them in any way... Some of the anger goes out of him, replaced with exasperation as he releases D-ne's elbow. At the very least, he'd be able to get some information out of her. He almost doesn't want to know, and doesn't want D-ne to be the one to tell him of all people, but not knowing what's going around bothers him even more. “What are people saying, then?”
He hadn't thought it was possible for D-ne to look any more superior, but her lips quirk upward and part, like she's holding back a laugh. “The rumor says... C-ta follows A-ya around like a dog, because he's actually in love with him.”
W...What? That can't be right, C-ta thinks, his breath short and light, vision flickering as he replays D-ne's words over and over again in his head. He... followed A-ya like a dog? He was in love with A-ya? It takes a long time for the world to stop swaying, for him to be able to use his voice once more. “Who... who the hell spread that bullshit?”
“Why don't you ask your precious A-ya?” D-ne says flippantly and glides past him, leaving C-ta alone and deflated.
Yes... Yeah, he should ask A-ya! A-ya loves rumors more than anything, so surely he would be able to figure out the source. It wouldn't be good for A-ya if C-ta's reputation was ruined! He'd always helped A-ya, so of course he would gladly return the favor to C-ta if he asks...
Wait... asks?
No, that's impossible! This unfounded rumor is already causing him to crack, and if he asks A-ya for help, there would be no way to go back to their normal relationship. A-ya would know how weak C-ta is... he'd know that C-ta couldn't protect him on his own, and then, he'd abandon him. If A-ya doesn't need him anymore... C-ta honestly doesn't know what he'd do. He can't ask A-ya for help—not that he needs to. As soon as A-ya catches wind of the rumor, he would no doubt say something about it. After all, C-ta is his best friend since childhood, the one who'd done so much for him. Why wouldn't he help him?
When C-ta meets him after school, A-ya is exactly the same as always. His face is expressionless on the route back to their houses, and they walk in near silence. “I heard an interesting rumor today,” A-ya finally says. C-ta can't help the way his heart races at those words.
“Y-yeah?” Damn it, why is he stammering like an idiot?
“If you walk behind the old school building at three o'clock in the morning, when the moon is red, you'll see the ghosts of two students who died in a murder-suicide.”
“Oh...” Something completely unrelated? Hiding his disappointment, C-ta lets out the familiar words, “That's cool, A-ya.”
A-ya pauses in his stride and turns toward him, minutely raising an eyebrow. “Is something wrong, C-ta?” A-ya has been with C-ta since they were kids, so obviously he would notice that something is bothering him! But... if A-ya hadn't heard the rumor by now, C-ta thinks he'd rather die than be the one to say those words.
He shakes his head. “N-no, I'm fine.”
A-ya does not pursue it further like C-ta hopes he might.
The moment he's safe in his room, C-ta powers on his computer to observe A-ya. It was one of the few things that could dissolve his tension. Seeing A-ya's face when no one else was around, as he sat at his computer or read a book in bed was truly precious to C-ta. After school, A-ya normally gets onto his computer, but today is different. Instead of sitting at his desk, A-ya takes a seat on his bed. He hadn't mentioned borrowing a book from the library or purchasing something new. Perhaps A-ya is simply tired...? But from what? He didn't look unwell before...
C-ta swallows when the realization hits him. There's no way that A-ya wouldn't have heard about that rumor. As part of the contents, it's more likely that A-ya would have been accosted over it, rather than being shielded from it. C-ta feels sick to his stomach as he imagines the kinds of questions A-ya must have been bombarded with...
“A-ya, is it true what they said? Is C-ta really a homo?”
“Ugh, to find that out about someone you thought was your friend... You must be so grossed out, huh?”
“I know it's just a rumor, but what if there's something to it? I mean.. you've been together so long, isn't that creepy?”
“There's no way you wouldn't know it if it were true. Are you one of those, too?”
Of course A-ya would be tired after all that! He didn't do well with talking to people, which was why he needed C-ta around. But instead of helping A-ya, he'd become a source of his suffering... After class, A-ya had even pretended not to hear about the rumor, so that C-ta wouldn't become upset.
A loud buzzing noise distracts him from his thoughts. C-ta quickly glances at his phone, then realizes the sound is actually coming from his speakers. A-ya's phone, not his own.
When C-ta checks the screen, A-ya is staring down at an incoming message. His face is shadowed at this angle, but the microphone is able to pick up A-ya's murmured words: “Poor C-ta.” It's always a shock to overhear A-ya saying his name when he's not around. This time, however, there's something strange in his voice that makes C-ta tense up.
He taps a key to shift to another camera's view, allowing him to see A-ya's face. Those red eyes have a spark of glee to them, and his mouth... his mouth is spread into a wide, toothy smile. Before C-ta can even react, it's gone, replaced by A-ya's normal blank face.
It must have been a trick of the light, C-ta tells himself, shaken. But the image refuses to leave his brain. Still uneasy, he decides to play the scene back—if only to prove to himself that it's nothing. C-ta always stores the footage of the previous 24 hours, so that he'd be able to review what A-ya had done while he was away from his monitor. He can't spend all of his waking hours watching over him, after all.
With a well-practiced hand, C-ta selects the feed from the camera that he'd been watching and rewinds it to the appropriate time. A shiver runs down his spine as he watches the screen. It's completely unmistakable. “Poor C-ta,” A-ya says on the video. From this angle, C-ta can see the wicked grin he's wearing perfectly.
A-ya...? What kind of expression is that for!? I don't understand!
It was unusual for A-ya to make anything other than a bored or curious frown, except for when—
No... he couldn't have! He wouldn't. I'm his best friend. He'd never do something like that...!
But no matter how much he tries to deny it, C-ta recognizes that face. He knows A-ya better than anyone, knows that A-ya loves rumors and urban legends to the point of smiling happily, no matter how gruesome the tale. But a grin like that...
It's an expression A-ya only makes when studying the results of his own handiwork.