Chapter Text
Armin's world was white. His numb feet crunched under frosty snow and fallen tree branches. The cold path he walked was used, previous groups having trekked upon it far before he did. The wind whistled as it blew soft snowflakes around, their cold yet gentle touch falling in one of the world's unknown patterns around him. The footsteps of his comrades came from in front of him, heavy feet loud in the serene forest. If Armin wasn't freezing his ass off and was forced to spend the next afternoon with some less than kind people, he would have thought the scene peaceful. Hearing his name called out, he figured his pace must have slowed again, his eyes too busy scanning the new surroundings to focus on keeping up with the others.
"Seriously! Why did we even give you the map if you're just going to fall behind?" Ymir's voice was always aggressive, but her words still rang sharply in his ears. He fumbled with the map in his overly large jacket pocket before jogging up to the group.
"Sorry," his voice squeaked out, eyes looking down at the pasty forest floor. He only knew the other cadets for a few months, but he felt he had a pretty good understanding of them, and he knew Ymir was someone he just didn't have the energy to argue with. Of course, it was good that he knew his surroundings, knew of the large trees that towered over them and the frozen pond which stood only a few feet away from them. They would be training in these woods for the next two and a half years, so Armin felt it important to learn as much about them as he could.
"Really, Armin, we are already so behind the other groups; at this rate, we will never get to our meeting point!" Her voice was loud and sharp, her words blaming him for them being so behind. Armin knew he was slow, tiny legs and heavy pack making it hard to keep up with the others, but he felt as if Jean's forgetting his winter boots and Reiner struggling to walk in the deep snow were also to blame, not that he'd voice these thoughts of course. Quickly Armin realized he was lost in his thoughts for too long or said them out loud as rough hands grabbed at his jacket.
"Really, dude, I'm not getting bad marks because you're too damn slow." He could feel her breath on his face, her eyes glaring deep into his.
"Come on, Ymir, let's just get going," Reiner, ever the middleman, voiced out. His tone was stern yet calm, remaining Armin of their cold yet beautiful weather. Ymir's anger seemed to dissipate for a second, listening to the larger man and losing her hold on his jacket. But her face grew hard when Jean's obnoxious voice tuned in.
"No, Reiner, she's right. I'm not losing any chances of getting onto the military police cause this child doesn't know how to walk." Armin's cheeks burned as Jean spoke, the word child not inherently being mean, but its negative context still stung Armin.
"Really, Jean," Reiner's voice was still soft but loud
"Shove it, Reiner" Ymir gave Armin a rough shove, not enough to knock him down but just enough that he tumbled quite a few steps. Armin saw her face grow red and eyes fierce, her temper always being loose and easy to abuse. Jean had a similar look in his eyes but more annoyed, arms crossed and face bored.
Giving Armin a look, Reiner seemed lost, not wanting to argue with Ymir and Jean but also not wanting them to start any more fights. He watched the same situation happen days ago when they were assigned their group. This little exercise was supposed to take them the day. Everyone was put into groups and was given maps, some having different trails than the others. The goal was for the group to be able to navigate the forest together in the winter conditions. Yet when given the map, Ymir and Jean argued for a solid ten minutes over who should have the map, the argument only stopping when Shadis stopped by, shoving the map into Armin's chest and giving Ymir and Jean a firm wack over their heads. Ever since then, things have been tense; the group had no real leader and no trust. Jean questioned every word he said, and Reiner was constantly checking over his shoulder to "help." Ymir was done with this exercise the second she was split from Krista and gave sassy remarks whenever she was acknowledged.
"Look, Armin, if you want to live your life being the last all the time, I don't really care, but don't drag the rest up down with you" She pushed him again, voice filled with venom. Armin felt the cold snow against his cheek; it was soft but still stung. He tumbled back, too big gloves slipping off his hands and compass and map falling out of his pocket, rolling against the icy ground.
"Ymir" this time, it was Jean who yelled out, the boy rude but not outwardly mean.
"Whatever, grab the map, Armin; Shadis gave it to you after all" Armin didn't think her voice could be filled with more venom, but her words proved otherwise. Picking himself up, weak legs dragged Armin towards his fallen position. The ground had a slight slant to it, and his tools rolled down onto a flat circle of snow. Subconsciously Armin knew it was a bad decision; he knew he should've just marched right back up to Ymir and refused to grab the map; he studied it after all and had the whole thing memorized. But the angry voices yelling up top of his clouded his judgement, and he walked.
Taking light steps, Armin's feet left shallow footprints in the show, falling flakes taking an eternity to fill them up. At first, he thought everything was going to be okay, that he would grab the map and they would make it to the cabin in time; he could sit next to Eren and wrap his blanket around himself, forgetting this awful experience. But then he heard it.
The sound was sickening, the whole forest going quiet at the loud crack. Armin felt the rumble through his whole body; what little blood he had left in his numb face drained, leaving him cold and empty. The argument above him stopped as three pairs of eyes stared at him, wide and fearful. Hoping he heard wrong, Armin gave a small smile, numb lips nervously twisting upwards as his hands shot out, keeping him balanced.
"Armin!" Reiner was the first to respond, voice calling out and feet moving towards him. Despite time feeling like it slowed down, Reiner didn't catch up to him before the group heard another loud and deep crack. The earth sounded like it split in two as it swallowed Armin, body falling out of sight, not even a scream coming from the blond's mouth.
Armin's first thought was that he was dying. His lungs failed to work, mouth-filling with dirty, freezing water. His muscles gained a mind of their own as they spasmed, splashing around the water but failing to keep him afloat. His mind felt fuzzy as he felt his whole body go off balance. Despite the only thing he could see was murky water, the world spun around him, his ears ringing loudly and sweat pouring down his frozen face.
His episode felt like it lasted hours, the constant torment of being stuck in the murky water, mind unable to control his body, a torcher he never wished to experience again, but as his fingers grazed a sharp edge, he was able to focus and regain enough compose to grab for the sharp edge again. After a few slow tries, Armin was able to fully grasp it, glass-like ice cutting into his pale palms. Taking in one more mouthful of water, Armin's head finally surfaced, wet hair dripping into unfocused eyes. He clawed at the ice, frozen hands sticking to the surface. His pack laid heavily on his back, slowly pulling him back down whenever he tried to pull himself up. Giving a shack on his shoulders and sticking his hand deep into the ice-covered snow, he knocked the pack off one of his shoulders. This pulled him heavily to one side and threw Armin into a quick panic as he almost sunk back under the unforgiving water. In a few uncoordinated motions, he was able to knock the pack off his other shoulder, leaving his belongings to get lost in the deep pond.
The words "Armin" and "Don't" were being spoken, the voices muffled and being spoken from what felt like miles away. Many voices were talking, or arginine, Armin wasn't quite sure. They spoke quickly and loudly, but Armin still couldn't hear them well. Closing his eyes, Armin focused on making his head stop spinning, taking deep breaths and focusing on anything else than those obnoxious voices. He focused on his numb ears and nose, his shivering fingers and dripping hair, his mind slowly getting him back to reality. Only when a loud and concerned "Armin don't" yelled outdid his eyes slowly peek open.
His comrades had moved closer to him, standing at the edge of what he knew was the pond he had noticed earlier.
"Mmmm knew I was right," he mumbled quietly to himself as he laid his head down on the ice.
"Hey Armin, Armin, don't do that kid-shit" Armin heard Reiner's frantic voice and the loud crack of ice, then the scuffle of someone quickly moving in the snow.
"Armin, Armin dude, you're going to have to pull yourself up" this time, it was Jean's voice which spoke, his panicky voice new to Armin's ears, Looking up at the small crowd, Armin's whole body shivered, lips quivering and body trembling in the water. He had half his torso on the ice, chest and arms resting numbly in the snow, blood pooled on the white ice, standing the once pure and serene site a bright and nasty red.
"Just pull yourself up, dammit!" This time it was Ymir who yelled out, her voice was filled with no previous venom, no malice, but a panicked sadness Armin never thought he could associate with the cold and angry girl. The ice was thin, too thin, and the pond was deep, too deep. It was a miracle Armin made it so far out, and everyone knew of they evcer=n dared to try, they would surely meet the same fate as the blond. Armin wanted to pull himself up, but his legs were tired, and his mind still felt stuffy. He could hear them still yelling at the edge of the pond, voices blaming each other. Ymir for pushing him, Reiner for not getting to him in time and Jean for encouraging Ymir's behaviour.
Armin thought it funny, really; in these types of situations, he tended to blame himself. They were usually his fault; after all, he was usually a burden. In the past few months, he struggled with training exercises and noticed how no other cadets really wanted to be his partner. But this time, he couldn't, he didn't know if he just wasn't thinking straight or feeling too emotional, but he felt as if everyone but him were to blame.
"Mmmm, shut up" his words felt weak, and he wasn't even sure he spoke them out loud, but the sudden silence told him he spoke, and the others heard him.
"Armin?" his name lingered in the crisp air "ahhh, Mikasa is going to kill me!" Ymir's voice was still panicked, still scared.
"She's going to kill all of us if we don't get him out," Jean yelled loudly, letting his anger get the best of him as he kicked at the fluffy snow. Armin watched, watched as the group slowly broke down. He observed as Reiner tried to keep the peace, tried to find a solution while Jean and Ymir yelled, anger and worry clouding their minds. He watched as they settled by the lake. Reiner made himself comfortable by the pond as Jean leaned his pack against a tree.
The trees! Armin remembered them, how they towered high, large branches reaching far across the sky. His fingers twitched, and teeth violently chattered as he looked at the sky, eyes finding the perfect branch. Giving a look to the group, he opened his mouth, a dry, horse cough coming out before he spoke.
"Jean" The man ignored him, "J-jean!" Armin pounded his fist on the ice, fingers barely able to curl into his palm properly.
"Armin!" The brunettes head snapped towards him "it's going to be okay, just stay up in that ice, okay" Armin knew his words were only meant to comfort him; he knew the taller man had another plan than to argue with Ymir and get murdered by Mikasa for letting him freeze to death in a dirty pond.
"Jean!" This time Armin whined loud, childish whine. "Ge… get your rope and cl-climb the uhh the.. tree" His head gestured to a tree close to the pond's edge, its branches reaching far out. At first, Jean stared at him, eyes blank and mind completely empty, but then he caught onto Armin's plan and rushed to his pack, dumping its contents out onto the ground before grabbing his rope. Jean scrambled up the tree, knocking his knees on the trunk and banging his frozen toes on the branches; he ran up the tree at a speed at which Shadis would have been impressed and found the branch where he could safely hover above Armin.
"Amin, I'm going to throw the rope down, grab it," Jean yelled, voice carrying in the wind. Throwing the rope down, it was polled by Armin's hands, bloody fingers dancing along with it but not able to grab it. Jean swore to himself as he pulled the rope back up, lost on what to do.
"Mmmm Horse, l…l…like a, like a, a auu, horse" the way Armin spoke concerned Jean; he could barely understand the kid's words, and he wasn't sure if he was even thinking straight. Leaning back, Jean watched as Armin's hovered, his whole body wracked with violent convulsions; his breathing was fast and skin pale.
"Like horse reins, stupid," Ymir called out, moving from her previous spot and settling next to Reiner. Her eyes were also fixated on Armin, sparing no glance to his rescue mission. Giving her an unseen nod, he started tying, willing his fumbling fingers to work. Soon he created his knot, a lasso-like circle. It was one of the first knots they learned as cadets, in case their horses' reins broke and they needed to quickly get a good grip on their unruly steeds.
"Armin, sit up and raise your arms," Jeaninstrcted clearly and slowly. Armin took a second to respond, lifting himself only a few inches above the ice he laid upon and dragging his heavy arms close to his head.
"Okay," Jean whispered to himself, "I can work with this" ideally, Armin would throw his arm over his head and sit up straight, but nothing about this situation was ideal. Throwing the rope, it landed on Armin's head, dripping down his face as he hissed at the unwanted contact.
"You missed"
"Try again"
Jean forgot he had an audience, and his hands started to tremble. But he pulled his rope up as he tried again, and again, and again until it hooked gracefully over Armin's head and went past one arm.
"Good as I'll get, I guess." He spoke to no one in particular as he tightened his knot, rope wrapping itself securely around Armin, then he pulled. It was easier than he first thought as Armin came up like a rag doll, water pouring off his body and dripping loudly beneath him. Once Armin was in reaching distance, Jean abandoned pulling the rope and grabbed Arnin under his shoulder, heaving him onto the old, sturdy branch.
Armin's body felt cold; it trembled, and his dilated eyes looked lost. He couldn't seem to form words, but his mouth moved, lips tinged blue and teeth clicking loudly he swore the others could hear.
"This has got to go" he stripped Armin of the half-soaked and half-frozen winter jacket, creating an unnecessary barrier he didn't need as he dragged Armin down the tree. He was much more careful this time around, holding Armin on his hip with one hand, the blond's head resting under his face.
Ymir and Reiner were waiting for him at the trunk of the tree, the pair pulling out any supplies from their packs they might have needed.
"Lie him down here" Reiner set one of his shirts on the ground, making a small dry area. Jean laid him down gently, making sure to carefully guide his head. They could hear Armin's quick and ragged breathing; he would occasionally moan out and speak something unintelligible to the group.
After the group stared at Armin, pretending they knew what they were doing, Ymir started to unbutton his shirt, nimble fingers aggressively pulling at the frozen buttons.
"What! What are you doing?" Jean's face instantly heated up, a deep blush covering his olive cheek. He suddenly remembered that Armin was a boy, a very shy and modest boy, and did not think he would like Ymir stripping him down.
"Changing his shirt, it's frozen. "She did not spare him a glance as she continued his work, finally making it to the last button and peeling the fabric off. Reiner had a similar idea as he untired Armin's boots, throwing them aside and taking the thick, heavy and soaking wet socks off. Jean ran to his pack as he grabbed an extra pair; Marco made sure he packed it and said frostbite was a bitch.
Once they got Armin changed, they picked up their bags and planned to leave. They still had a cabin to get to, and nightfall was coming soon. Armin rested in Reiners arms, feet covered in two pairs of socks and him wearing one of Ymir's shirts and Jeans coat.
"So, which way now" Reiner spoke out loud, the situation finally dawning on them; Armin had lost all his stuff, including the map.
"Mmmm, bout out, t-t-twenty, twenty mins, minies north," Armin's soft voice basically whispered. The two just stared at him, mouths open and completely lost for words. "L-lets let go, 's c-cold" Armin slurred out, curling into Reiner. Ymir was the first to act, turning on her heels and marching forward,
"You heard him; let's go." Her voice was back to its normal agitated tone, a familiarity to both men.
Quickly jogging to catch up, Reiner and Jean followed Ymir, listening when Armin gave them direction until the sun was almost set, snow falling heavier now and a bitter wind snapping at their faces.
Wrapping his arms around him, Jean beamed as he saw the cabin, the setting sun made it far too cold for him, and he negatively wished he had his jacket back. He glanced back at Reiner; the larger boy made sure Armin never fell asleep, forcing him to stay away by constantly poking at his face or jousting him around.
They'd be comfortable soon; all of them would. They could eat a warm meal and wrap themselves in blankets, and he could tell Marco of his very heroic saving of Armin,
"Armin!"
That is if Mikasa didn't kill them first.