Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Looking good out there, Sharma!”

Kate rolled her eyes at the sound of his voice, spinning on the court to face Anthony Bridgerton. He was lounging on the chair in the front row, his hair tousled, his sunglasses a little askew on his irritatingly handsome face, grinning ridiculously. She grunted as the racquet connected with the ball sending it flying across the court, straight down the line. “Any chance you want to fuck off?”

His laughter boomed across the practice court at her, “Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate. When are you going to admit you’re in love with me?”

It had been like this from the very first minute she met him, outside their intro to civil law class in first year, snapping and snarling while tension crackled around them.

“Ahh shit, sorry!” His voice had called out just seconds after someone had jostled past them and a rush of warm liquid had gone down her front as the boy in front of her had turned at exactly the wrong time, sending his coffee soaking into her shirt. “Oh my god, Holy- I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine.” Kate had clipped out, holding her shirt away from her skin, sighing as she thought about sitting in the lecture hall for the next hour, in her ruined shirt. 

“It’s- here! Take my shirt!” The boy’s dark eyes had shot to hers, tugging his shirt over his head in a wild fashion, his arms spinning, knocking his glasses a little askew. His jaw was sharp, his full lips tilted up in a smile, and something had tugged at her stomach.

Kate had stepped back a little startled, her mouth falling open, trying not to notice the way his abdominal muscles had rippled. “What?! No! Put your shirt on everyone’s staring!”

People had been, in fact, a hundred pairs of eyes swivelling in their direction. His eyes had lit up as he’d finally looked at her, finally noticed her, pulling back abruptly, his t-shirt still held out towards her. “Are you staring? Because I don’t think I’d hate that.”

Her cheeks had flushed, something awkward and embarrassed and mortified rising in her chest when she already felt so out of place here, amongst all of these people who two months ago would have looked down their noses at her. The probably still were.

“No! I don’t even know you!”

“Oh!” He’d grinned, holding his hand out to her, with a wink. “Anthony, Viscount Bridgerton! Lovely to meet you, and you are?”

Kate had had to fight keep her eyes from rolling and she hadn’t quite managed it. “Leaving this conversation.” 

She’d stepped around him, into the room that had just opened behind him, her cheeks still burning, absolutely mortified and his voice had followed her into the room.

“You forgot my shirt! Once it comes off, it stays off!”

She’d sat, mortified as he’d shouldered his way to the seat right in front of her his shirt slung over his shoulder, grinning as he turned around. “Well, what d’you know! Seat buddies!”

“We aren’t buddies!” She’d hissed, ignoring the way his hand had lurched forward, plucking her textbook from her table.

“Aha!” Anthony had crowed excitedly, as he’d flipped open the front page. “Kate is it?”

“Will you put your shirt back on?!” Kate had managed to squeak, reaching forward and attempting to tug her book back from his hands.

“No, it’s hot out, and how would you stare at me if I do?” 

God he was infuriating. “I don’t want to-”

“If the two of you have quite finished flirting, I think the rest of us would like to learn.” The professor’s voice had cracked through the air, startling them both.

“I wasn’t-”

“Sorry, sir. Animal magnetism and all that.” Anthony had grinned, dropping her book back in her hands, winking at her as he tucked a cap over his thick dark hair. 

And from that moment, she’d hated him.

 Anthony Bridgerton was the living embodiment of white privilege. Arrogant and cocky, and entitled. As though the world owed him everything because his last name was branded over a building, and a year later he still wouldn’t leave her alone. Sitting with his hands behind his head, an Oxford rowing cap on his head, his feet up on the railing, tiny little running shorts riding up his thighs, his muscle tee hanging loosely, half his chest exposed. 

“When are you going to admit you’re an absolute prick?” Kate grunted as she tossed the ball up, clicking her tongue as her serve fell perfectly into the centre of the box.

“Careful, I might like that bite.” He clapped politely, tugging at the front of his shorts, before his legs dropped, his biceps flexing as he leaned forward.

“What makes you think I care what you like?”

Anthony’s tongue darted out, wetting his lips, the muscle at the angle of his jaw clenching, his hand running over the stubble there. “I think you might care more than you let on.”

Silence swelled between them for a long moment, his smirk tugging at something in her chest, heat settling in her stomach. “I don’t.”

Anthony clicked his tongue, adjusting his hat a little before he let out a sigh. “Sure you don’t. Are you done?”

Kate let the ball bounce off her racquet a few times, hitting the court in time with her heartbeat, keeping her eyes locked with his as she sliced at the ball sharply, sending it flying over the net, bouncing right into the back of the court. “I’m done.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh holy fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Kate! Just like that!

She was cramped against the door of his fucking stupidly ostentatious vintage Jaguar, the car rocking with the movement of his hips against hers, The windows fogged, parked along a street no-one ever went down, her skirt rucked up around her waist, his shirt hanging over the rear view mirror, muscles flexing around her, crushing her against his chest as her eyes rolled back in her head, her fingernails digging into the soft skin of his back, his teeth nipping at the exposed skin of her chest.

They’d been doing this for months now, snarking and sniping before the door slammed shut and their hands grabbed for one another, falling apart so many times she could barely even remember how it had started.

Oh my- Anthony! 

A feral growl ripped from his chest, his hands tugging her legs even tighter around his waist, racing towards the finish line they could both see right in front of them his voice aching.

Oh fuck! Babe I’ve been thinking about this all afternoon. I couldn’t stop watching you today. Fuck I wanted to get down on my knees on that court until you fucking screamed.

And scream she did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate nearly groaned when she walked into the library and her eyes fell on Anthony Bridgerton, leaning back in his chair, his glasses a little askew, his hair tousled probably from the way the wind whipped through it in that ridiculous convertible. She'd seen it parked outside and prayed for rain as much as she'd prayed he wouldn't see her.

He was insufferable. Really, he was. Constantly present, constantly arguing with her, constantly parading around campus like the embodiment of white male privilege. Christ, by rights she should be calling him Lord Bridgerton, but that wasn't the reason she didn't want to see him today. Not in the way it usually was.

The real reason she didn't want to see him was that she felt like she hadn't stopped seeing him since that party over a month ago. That party when they'd stood chest to chest in the corridor outside the bathroom, while the music pounded around them his jaw clenching angrily at her as she jabbed at his chest.

“People like you are fucking disgusting, Anthony. You think the world owes you everything because your however-many-times-great-grandfather did something for someone-stole something from native people fucking probably-"

"Oh, that's who you think I am?” He’d looked so furious, his eyes blazing, his face just inches from hers, the smell of his cologne tugging at her chest.

"That's who I know you are!"

The tension had rippled through the air, their eyes caught together, his body so close to her she could feel the heat of it, the hardness of him pressed against her, and she'd probably never know who'd moved first but before she knew it, his lips were claiming hers roughly, filthily, his tongue flicking over the roof of her mouth as he pushed her backwards into the bathroom, pressing her against the door.

She'd torn his shirt from his body shivering at the feeling of his warm skin against hers, his hips nestled between hers pinning her in place, his voice desperate as they started to circle.

"Fuck are we actually going to do this?"

"Shut up and fuck me, Anthony."

She hadn't stopped thinking about it since, how he’d let out a growl as he’d pinned her in place with just his hips as he’d torn through his wallet for a condom. How his muscles had flexed and rippled as he'd moved against her, the way he'd practically possessed her, the way the door had rattled in the frame so loudly she'd been afraid it was going to break. The way he'd let out a growl at the noise before he'd fallen to the floor, forcing her on top of him, that fucking muscle clenching in his jaw as he'd ground out Ride me. Please Kate, fucking ride me. God you feel so fucking incredible.

She couldn't stop thinking about it. Couldn’t stop herself from thinking about it as she slipped her hand between her thighs until her teeth bit into her pillow to muffle her shout. But she had to. Because she hated him. No matter how hard she'd had to bite down on her hand to stop herself from screaming as she'd fallen apart for him. She hated him. And She wasn't the type of girl Anthony was going to end up with anyway. It was a hook up at a party. And it wasn't going to happen again.

Kate marched straight past him, resisting the urge to steal the snapback he'd just placed on his head out of spite, not stopping until she reached the shelves all the way in the back, hoping by the time she emerged he'd be gone. But apparently, god wasn't real. Because it wasn't raining, and Anthony Bridgerton’s voice was far too close to her.

"You know, the world isn't going to combust just because you acknowledge my existence."

Kate froze, her hand outstretched towards the shelf for a brief moment before she cleared her throat, "I didn't see you."

Anthony scoffed, and Kate hated that the noise made her turn towards him. He was leaning against the shelf, his eyes flicking over her ,his cap on backwards, glasses still askew, his polo shirt stretched tight against his chest that heaved when he let out a dramatic sigh.

"It doesn't have to be like this you know."

His voice was almost conversational as he took a step towards her, even one step felt far too close. She could already feel her skin prickling.

"It does actually, because I don't like you." She had to force the words from her chest as he stepped yet closer, crowding her against the bookshelf.

"Why can't I stop thinking about how good you'd fucking taste then?"

Oh fuck

She was on fire already, her entire body burning as her stomach clenched, her voice humiliatingly breathless "That sounds like a you problem."

Anthony's chuckle rippled through her, his eyes darkening as he shifted again, letting his hips press her back against the shelf. "Could be an us problem."

The air was thick with tension, the entire building ready to burst with it she was sure, his fingers had darted out, tugging at the hem of her skirt, sliding against the skin of her thigh.

"Tell me to stop, Kate and I won't get on my knees for you right here like I've been dying to."

Kate squirmed against him, unable to help herself, something in the pit of her stomach already aching to have him. And why shouldn't she? It didn't have to mean anything. It wouldn't. She wasn't the first girl Anthony had hooked up with, and she wouldn't be the last. It was just sex. That's all.

She plucked his hat from his head, sliding it onto her own, watching Anthony's eyes darken as she slipped her fingers into his hair pushing against his head.

"On your knees then."

Anthony dropped immediately, his arms darting out to throw her legs over his shoulders, his hands already tearing at her underwear, and there was barely the moment of anticipation, just a heady second where he let out a sharp gasp at the sight of her, and then he ducked his head.

From the very first pass of his tongue over her, Kate had to bite back a scream. Anthony was relentless, which in hindsight given his general attitude to life, she should have predicted. His tongue swiped over her desperately, a moan rising in his throat at the taste of her, his eyes rolling back as he pulled back.

"Holy fuck, I knew you'd be good."

Kate barely had time to react, barely time to wonder before Anthony let out a growl, and his tongue was back, licking and sucking and fucking desperately into her while one of his hands splayed over her stomach, pinning her in place.

All the air had been pulled from the room, leaving Kate gasping pathetically against a bookshelf while Anthony moved between her legs like a fucking animal. Her body winding tighter and tighter at the wet heat of his mouth, the hand on her stomach rising higher, sneaking under her shirt to grip at her chest, tearing at her bra, and everything shattered. A sharp gasp fell from her lips as she shuddered against him, Anthony's eyes darkening again as they locked with hers, but he wasn't done.

He shifted even closer to her, something feral ripped from his throat as he moved against her, the fingers of his right hand joining his tongue, adding to the desperate sensation and nothing had ever felt like this. It was as though he was starving, his mouth moving hungrily over her while his own hips ground against the floor, his voice rough and feral

Move your fucking hips Kate.

She couldn't help it, grinding desperately against his face in the middle of a public library, she fell again, and still he didn't stop.

Her shoulders were heaving now, her hips banging against the bookshelf painful as she chased his tongue, her lungs burning.

Anthony's hands shifted to her thighs, spreading them obscenely wide a growl ripping from his chest as he shifted closer again and it was too much. She was already so close again, so sensitive as his teeth grazed over her, his eyes locking with his, his fluttering closed as she tugged roughly against his hair, and this time, she could barely muffle her scream as she slumped against him.

Anthony stayed with his face pressed against her, breathing deeply for several long moments, before he let out a groan, kissing her thigh gently, setting her back on her shaky legs.

Kate struggled to appear as unaffected as Anthony was as he stood in the library, his hard on painfully obvious in the front of his sweatpants, his face covered in her as he slowly slid off his glasses, polishing them with his shirt before he tugged his shirt up, cleaning his face with it, sucking his fingers obscenely with a low whine and a tiny thrust of his hips.

Kate let out a disgusted scoff, struggling to fight her breathlessness on her already shaky legs. "You're revolting."

"What? It's your come."

"Ew! Don't fucking call it that!" Kate snapped, darting around him, all thoughts of studying forgotten, but Anthony just rolled his eyes, pressing against her again, letting his hips roll slowly against her.

"Was that... satisfying for you?"

She'd lied when she'd screamed at him last week that their first encounter hadn't been. Mortified that he'd caught her staring, caught the startled shriek that had left her body as she’d run into a bollard by the waterfront, desperately distracted by the way his chest rippled as he carried his boat over head. And because she was Kate, and he was Anthony, she'd lie again.

She patted his cheek, adopting an unaffected air. "That was a much better attempt. A plus for effort."

She took advantage of his indignation, something a little delicious in his slack jawed impression of an affronted giraffe, stepping around him, and mustering every ounce of dignity she possessed to walk from the library.

She got halfway to the door before Anthony's braincells abandoned him completely, "I am an incredible tongue fuck! And you Know it!"

It echoed through the silence of the library, every eye in the room turning towards her with a disapproving glare. And Kate was quite proud to say: She barely faltered, just kept walking towards the door, too afraid to call back what they both knew was a lie.

And she was still wearing his cap. Fucking. Chelsea.

And he still had her fucking underwear.

So of course, what could she do but go to tennis practice later that day, swanning past Anthony sitting by the gates to the court, those same sweatpants clinging low on his hips, his eyes burning against her skin as they flicked over her legs, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed convulsively. 

“Nice hat.” She couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses, but his lips ticked upwards in that smirk that made him look even more handsome, his hand ruffling his hair.

“Thanks, I won it.” She fiddled demonstratively with his cap on her head as she dropped her kit bag, bending to grab her racquet as Anthony settled into a seat on the sidelines.

His laughter echoed across the court, his sneakers squeaking against the railing as he settled them there, his legs spread obscenely. “You won it, did you? Tell me how.”

Kate clicked her tongue, staring back at him as she bounced a ball against her racquet, letting it settle a little higher in the air before she backhanded it across the court. “I took it from one of my conquests.”

Where the fuck did that come from?

There was something crackling between them, their eyes caught together, Anthony’s teeth biting into his lip as though he was beckoning her forward. 

Anthony nodded, adjusting his sunglasses before he leaned forward, dangling over the railing towards her his voice low. “You gonna give the lucky fucker a chance to win it back?”

God yes, Please yes.  

Kate swallowed, convulsively, shaking her head. “Nope. It was just a… moment of madness. For both of us.”

And yet 45 minutes later the ground under the stands of the tennis court was biting into her knees as she tugged those sweatpants down his hips, his breath stuttering from his chest.

Oh my god, Um- Oh fuck! Oh Holy- How are you this-?! Oh FUCK!

And still when she stood again quietly replacing his hat on her head, brushing off her skirt Anthony’s voice still rattled her.

“Ahh I think I won that back.”

Kate forced herself to laugh, ignoring the way his satiated smile made her stomach flip. “No, You didn’t.”

“Next time then!” He called to her retreating back, his cocky smile back as she turned back, incredulous.

“There won’t be a next time, Bridgerton!”

“We’ll see!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey! Sharma!”

Kate sighed, the light assaulting her eyes as she exited her lecture into the courtyard outside, her sneakers squeaking on the cobblestones outside.

Anthony was laying on the grass, posed like a statue, his arms bulging against the sleeves of his T-shirt, the sun setting him aglow. Anthony darted up at the sight of her, his legs bicycling wildly as he slid across the grass towards her, ruffling his hair until it stuck up a little ridiculously, his grin a little predatory. 

“Hmm, I thought this day was going a little too well. “ Kate sighed, already taking off towards the library. “Here you are to ruin it.”

Anthony barked out a laugh, scooping up his backpack as he clapped his friend Simon in the back who rolled his eyes. “Well, I saw you smiling and I thought: Wouldn’t it be nice to see her scowl one last time?”He had darted out in front of her, his glasses reflecting the sunshine at her as he walked backwards, waving at people who called out his name. Mr Popularity, always. A group of first year girls giggled as he walked past waving as they called out Anthony! Hi!

Kate forced herself to roll her eyes, ignoring the urge to snap Have some self respect! At the girls. “Well, that’s very thoughtful of you, My Lord.” She drawled the sarcastic nickname at him, her face twitching irritatedly as he bowed to her dramatically, his chest puffing. “Are you really so proud of a title gifted to your family because you killed yourselves invading some poor unsuspecting people?”

Anthony huffed, “Ahh the Bridgertons got our viscountcy because our barley crop was particularly good one year and we deserved a little treat!”

“A little- I can’t even believe you just said that with a straight face.” Kate laughed, poking him in the ribs as she tried to step around him but he blocked her path.

“Okay, so yeah the aristocracy is shit but I try to do charity work, and my Mum does a lot and our Country Estate’s really nice.” Anthony said, still grinning as if nothing ever phased him, his cologne settling like a cloud over them. And suddenly she couldn’t think. Not of anything but the way his tongue had moved over her that morning three weeks ago, the way he’d felt writhing against her, completely at her mercy as her tongue mouth had moved over him, his hand gripping her hair tightly. 

“I’m sure it is.” She forced herself to clip it out, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You should come visit Aubrey Hall this summer. We’ve got a tennis court” 

Kate’s brow furrowed a little incredulously, “So I can be another of your charity cases? No thanks, Bridgerton.”

Anthony looked slightly horrified, freezing for a long moment as though she’d shocked him, before he shook his head furiously. “What? No! I definitely don’t care about- Wait, are you here on a scholarship?”

It stung at her, the number of times she’d been asked that since she’d arrived last year, people humming sadly when they said Government financial aid is so important.

“Bye, Anthony.”

“No! Kitten wait!”

The nickname tugged at her stomach, the memory of the very first time he’d used it fluttering through her mind. 

“Oh Kitteeeeeeeen!” His voice had trilled across the riverbank as he’d scrambled from his boat, falling into step along side her as she went for her morning run.

“Fuck off, Bridgerton.” She’d gasped while her lungs burned.

“What’s Kate short for?”

She’d rolled her eyes, “Mind your fucking Business, Anthony. Kate’s an anagram.”

His laughter had boomed after her as she’d sped away, “Fuck it must take you a long time to fill out Government forms!” 

His hand burned her skin as it gripped her forearm, tugging her back towards him, her hands darting out to push against his chest, steadying herself.

“I didn’t- I don’t give a fuck about any of that shit, Kate.” 

She could almost believe him, his eyes wide behind his glasses, his throat working as he swallowed, everything about him earnest. But the truth was: even if he didn’t care, surely his mother would. Surely his family wouldn’t want him to be anywhere near a girl who’d grown up in Hounslow whose parents had worked and worked for everything they had. And why would she care anyway? She didn’t even like him. 

“Okay? Um- Anthony I have to go.”

“Are you going to the party this weekend?” His voice caught her again, his hand ruffling his hair a little carelessly.

Kate raised her eyebrows, “Ah- maybe I haven’t really thought about it. Why would you care?”

Anthony shrugged nonchalantly, stepping closer to her again, his eyes flicking down to her lips, his jaw clenching. “I just thought if you were into it, maybe you and I could…” He trailed off, clicking his tongue in time with a thrust of his hips and Kate’s cheeks burned.

She stepped back, her eyebrows raised, a derisive scoff falling from her lips. “And why would I want to do that?” 

Anthony’s eyes darkened as he closed the space between them again, his head tilting to the side, a charming grin on his face. “Because despite what you’re telling me, and yourself, we have really fucking good sex.”

God he wasn’t wrong. The way his hips moved against hers, the way his hands held her, the way their lips moved together, the way his tongue tangled with hers: it was all she thought about when she saw him these days. Even if he still grated at her, she could feel the tug in the pit of her stomach, aching for the snap of tension, the release of the frustration that always seemed to echo between them. 

Kate clicked her tongue, “Okay well, you, Mr Oxford Blue, have no trouble finding girls to sleep with you. So I don’t think you need me.”

Anthony’s face twitched, his hand adjusting his glasses quickly, before it ruffled his hair. “You almost sound jealous.”

Kate scoffed, rolling her eyes, “I’m not jealous. Why would I need to be jealous of something I’ve already had?”

“Have it again then.” He was still standing so close to her, his eyes raking over her face, his chest pressed against hers, the challenge echoing between them for a long moment, tension rippling and swelling between them as Anthony took a deep breath. 

Kate stood back as someone brushed past them, breaking the tension. “We’ll see, Bridgerton.” Tossed over her shoulder as she turned away from him, putting an end to whatever he was proposing for good.

But on Saturday night there she was, her eyes locking with Anthony’s across a crowded room, and barely an hour later her back hit his mattress, and her eyes rolled back in her head, and she stopped pretending it would be the last time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How’s Uni?”

Edwina’s voice crackled over the speaker of Kate’s phone as she lay on her back under the tress on the banks of the river enjoying the sunshine filtering through the branches, her phone on her stomach, mind ticking over.

“Not so bad, I have some midsems coming up but I think I’m pretty sorted.” 

It hung in the air between them, though Edwina had no idea, of course, the thing she was leaving unsaid. 

“You’re playing this weekend right?” 

Kate hummed, flexing her muscles, “Yeah, I have a match this weekend, we’re just kind of gearing up. To be honest, we don’t really care until we play Cambridge.”

“You sound like a real rich person.” Edwina teased, and Kate could nearly see her eye roll.

She’d fallen into tennis when she’d been in primary school, her PE teacher recognising the talent she had, nurturing it along until she was where she stood, playing for Oxford. And something in it still felt wrong. 

“How’s things with you?”

Edwina groaned, “I’m so fed up of hearing about GCSEs.”

Kate hummed, her chest aching, not for the first time wishing she wasn’t missing so much from her family. “Don’t let Mary hear you say that. She’ll ship you off to boarding school.”

Edwina scoffed, “With you at university, Mum would be lost without me. Who would she cook for?”

“Ahh yes, you are the light of our mother’s life, it’s true.” Kate chuckled as she heard Mary sighing in the background.

“Speaking of light’s of life.” Anthony’s voice boomed suddenly in her ear, letting out a huff as he dropped to the grass beside her. “Worry not Kitten, the light of yours as arrived.”

Kate could have groaned, her eyelids fluttering closed as the deafening silence echoed across the phone.

Anthony was grinning back at her, taking his sunglasses from his pocket, before he dabbed at his face with his t-shirt the muscles of his stomach flexing a little deliciously with the movement, fresh from rowing practice, his teammates abandoned to come over and pester her. Completely oblivious to the fact he’d just skittered in like a particularly stupid cat amongst the pigeons. 

Kate let out a sharp gasp clapping her hand over his mouth, mouthing “What the fuck?!”

“Katie?” Mary had cleared wrestled the phone from Edwina, her voice achingly curious, “Is there someone there with you?”

Anthony’s tongue darted out across her palm causing her to reel backwards with a disgusted gasp. “Is that your Mum?”

“Yes!” Mary’s voice called back.

“No! No one’s here!” Panic was climbing in her chest, her hand clamped back over his mouth, pleading at him with her eyes. “That was just some dickhead walking past.”

Anthony rolled his eyes, holding up his hands in an I’ll be good motion, flopping back against the grass as though he owned the entire world. 

“The dickhead sounded quite close.” Edwina’s voice called dryly.

“Language, Edwina.” Mary sighed distractedly, “But she’s right.”

“I have to go!” Kate said wildly, looking anywhere but at Anthony, whose fingers were trailing across the exposed skin of her stomach. 

Mary hummed astutely. “We’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Be safe. Love you!”

“Yep! Love you!”

As soon as the phone went dead, she rounded on Anthony, who was shamelessly trying to peer down the front of her shirt, fiddling with the hat on his head at the same time. 

“What the fuck was that?!”

Anthony looked up surprised, his eyes wide, “What was what?”

Kate tutted, swatting his hands from her waist, “We’re in public!”

Anthony rolled his eyes, gesturing around at the retreating back of his teammates, no one else around. “And who exactly are you worried about seeing us? That squirrel?” When Kate chose not to dignify that with an answer, Anthony hummed. “Your Mum sounds nice.”

“She is.” Kate sighed, her heart flipping a little still when she thought about Mary, the woman who’d chosen to be her mother, from the time she was three years old. The woman who’d startled when Kate had stood in the doorway of her bedroom with her voice tiny just days after her father’s death and said Are you going to send me to live with Auntie Im? Mary’s arms had been like a vice around her chest the next second, her voice fiercer than Kate had ever heard it. Why would I send my daughter away?

“Maybe I can meet her and your dad when they come.” 

“Unless you posh twats have access to a time machine us plebs don’t, you won’t be meeting my Dad. He’s been dead for four years.” It fell from her lips before she could stop it, the same tiny sting it always brought to her chest echoing again.

Anthony let out a sharp gasp, his eyes widening in horror, “Kate, I’m so fucking sorry, I never would’ve said if I’d-”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”

It settled between them for a long moment, silence echoing across the water before Anthony gave her a sideways glance. “My Dad died just before I came here.” She’d known his father must have died. Anthony wouldn’t be a viscount without it, she supposed, but she’d never known him to mention it. “It sucks but… life’s short I guess. So if I want to go to parties and row and play polo or jump out of a plane I’m going to do it.” 

Kate’s smile felt sad, even to her as she nodded, her chin resting against his shoulder, something growing between them, something far too close.

She pulled back sharply, clearing her throat, as she let her arms drop from around him. “Anyway, you aren’t meeting my mum either. You aren’t my boyfriend.”

It wasn’t what they did. What they did was Anthony conveniently running past her dorm building, her voice lilting back to him as she slapped his arse Be back here in ninety minutes, those shorts are really fucking cute.

What they did was lock eyes across crowded parties before they disappeared back to the flat he shared with Simon, hands roaming, lips locked together.

What they did was fall apart together while the sweat cooled on her body from the tennis practices he insisted on watching, his hands twisting in her skirt. 

What they did was send messages to one another after midnight, pictures: Anthony in his underwear, her in her bra until the roar of Anthony’s car sounded outside, his feet heavy on the stairs until he burst through the door, his hands already reaching for her, their lips crashing together.

But they weren’t together. It’s not the way they were.

Anthony rolled his eyes, hauling himself to his feet, tugging her to follow until she was flush against him, his eyes suddenly burning against her, his voice low in her ear. “Are you busy right now?”

Her body reacted immediately to the implication in his voice, heat settling low in her stomach, her breath catching in her chest as she shook her head, “Not right now.”

His hum was low, vibrating against her chest, pulling her in closer. “Great, wanna go into the boathouse and fuck?”

A disgusted noise fell from the back of her throat, her hands pushing against his chest though he held steady, his eyes wide in a what?! Expression. “Wanna fuck? Don’t be so fucking gross!”

“Well, do you?” Anthony leaned in even closer, his lips slipping to her neck, his tongue tracing his words, teeth following, his knee nudging hers apart.

A moan slipped from Kate’s lips, her hand knocking his hat to the ground to slip her fingers into his hair, a gasp following soon after.

“I asked you a question, Kitten.”

And apparently she didn’t care how awful Anthony was anymore. If she’d ever believed that in the first place. “Yes, Jesus Christ. Yes, Okay? We can Fuck.”

Anthony let out a delighted Whoop! Bending quickly to catch her by the waist, throwing her over his shoulder and sprinting towards the boathouse. “Fuck, Yes!”

And it really shouldn’t have been as charming as it was, a giggle rising in her throat as he slammed the door shut behind them, Anthony’s hips wriggling excitedly as he shucked off his shirt, bundling it into a ball for her head to rest on as he laid her down. Covering her soon after.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sharma! Is this your family?!"

And Kate nearly groaned as she saw Anthony barrelling his way through the courtyard, his white trousers muddy, Polo shirt tucked in, his glasses slipping down his nose, leaping over someone sitting on the grass. "Yep, My Mum and Sister, now get lost."

"Katie! Don't be rude." Mary scolded lightly before turning to Anthony, checking him over like a person might check over a car. Her eyes desperately curious, flicking between him and Kate.

"I'm not being rude, he's Anthony. He's awful.” Kate’s lips twitched as she said it, her heart already thundering in her chest as she watched Anthony’s face fall slightly. Lie, lie, Lie. But still she shooed him away. “Go!"

Anthony stared back at her for a long moment, his head tilted to the side, fingers drumming on his arm for a moment before he quickly sidestepped Kate with a wink, Grinning charmingly as Mary with his hand Outstretched. “Mrs Sharma! It's lovely to meet you, I'm Anthony Bridgerton." 

“Anthony… Bridgerton.” Mary said slowly, as she took his hand, blinking back at Kate, her mind clearly puzzling over where she might have heard the last name before, ticking… ticking… her eyes widened in surprise. “The… Viscount?”

Anthony’s smile turned a little embarrassed, his fingers raking through his hair, “Try not to hold it against me.”

Mary shook her head gently as she let his hand drop, smiling kindly, It’s always lovely to meet a… friend of Kate’s.”

Kate was sure he caught the implication, but his face didn’t falter, even as Kate nearly snapped, “He’s not my friend.”

Anthony stared back at her for a long moment, humming in agreement, “I suppose we’re not.” His eyes slid from hers, casting between Mary, Edwina who was watching the proceedings with a little too much delight for Kate’s liking "You must look like your Dad. You don't look like your Mum, Kitten.”

Kate’s stomach lurched, as much at his casual use of her nickname as the bruise he didn’t know he was digging into. ”Anthony, what the fuck? Are you broken? You can't just say that!"

But Mary just laughed, smiling up at Anthony as though she found him delightful, "Well it would be a little difficult for us to look alike, I'm Katie's step mum, sweetheart."

Anthony’s face was horrorstruck, his mouth gaping like a fish. “Oh my god, Mrs Sharma, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just teasing her, I- Oh My God. Oh my god.”

"Anthony, it's fine, Mary’s my Mum but she didn’t give birth to me.” Kate said avoiding his gaze for a moment before she cleared her throat. “We’re not very sensitive about it. She’s my Mum.”

Something a little awkward swelled in the air for a moment between the four of them, before Anthony cleared his throat turning back towards Kate, the muscle at the angle of his jaw clenching rhythmically for a moment before he spoke.

"Um, Kate, I actually came over here because Um- next weekend it's The Boat Race and I just- I wondered if you were going to watch?"

Kate felt her eyebrows raise in surprise, Mary and Edwina’s eyes were burning into the side of her face, curiously flicking between her and a fucking viscount with a polo helmet still tucked under his arm.

"Oh um- I don't- I don't know, Anthony." Her cheeks were burning, eyes flicking around Edwina’s voice muttering behind her Christ this is so painfully hetero. Anthony's friend Simon who appeared to be watching them very closely from a distance, mouthing something that looked awfully like Come on mate!

For a millisecond Anthony's face fell again, his brow furrowing  before his lips curved upwards in a smirk, his eyes shining. ”Um well- You should, because we're gonna wipe the floor with Cambridge this year, and when we do, I'm having a party at my parents- I guess my house. The one in London- I mean- not Kent!”

"Well, it’s… on the Thames, so... I don't know if I’m going to go to London." Kate had no idea what was happening, why he's doing this at all. This isn't what they do. What they do is scream at one another before they collide as soon as they're alone, hands gripping and tugging and tearing at clothes until she's screaming for entirely different reasons. Even if recently her heart had started to flutter in her chest whenever she met his eyes.

What they do is have awkward conversations as they sit side by side in the library, their elbows bumping, his voice a low whisper.

“Are you… seeing other guys right now?”

The question had caught her a little off guard, but she’d been determined not to blush at the idea, not to seem like she wasn’t okay with the fact he might leave hers and slip into someone else’s bed. “Nope. What about you? Any STI’s in my imminent future?”

Anthony had laughed brightly, ignoring the way the librarian sighed at them, “Nah, I’m just seeing you too.”

"Okay, well, maybe just think about it.” He was grinning at her, his head tilted, the tips of their shoes nearly touching. “It'll be fun, and um- yeah. I'll see you around!" He turned to leave before he startled, spinning back wildly, his backpack nearly knocking Kate over. “Mrs Sharma, Edwina, great to meet you!” 

"He seems nice." Edwina hummed a little pointedly, still staring curiously after Anthony whose eyes were flicking back to Kate as he turned towards Simon, shrugging awkwardly at whatever his friend had asked him. “I didn’t actually know Viscounts still existed. That is the whitest shit.”

Mary is as well, humming, "Well, that was very sweet."

"Sweet? What about that was sweet? He's an idiot.”

Why are you lying? Your heart’s still racing

And as usual, her mind answered the question for her. Because this is what he does, smile at girls until they fall at his feet.

"He's a twenty year old boy, they're all idiots." Mary sighs, "But he likes you. You should go to his party."

"I don't- Anthony doesn't like me." Kate snapped awfully, trying to fight the feeling rising in her stomach, something awfully tiny and hopeful. "I don't even think he has feelings."

Mary rolled her eyes, tucking her arm around Kate’s shoulders as they walk from the courtyard. “Everyone has feelings, Katie. And don’t think I didn’t recognise his voice.”

Kate’s stomach swooped, her cheeks burning, “Anthony isn’t going to- It wouldn’t come to anything. Even if I felt something, it wouldn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

And Kate didn’t really have an answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Next stop: Hounslow Central”

The cool robotic voice clipped over the loudspeaker a week later and Kate couldn’t help but sigh.

“This is is so fucking stupid.” She muttered, hoisting her back over her shoulder, adjusting her headphones as she stepped off onto the platform. 

She’d decided to come to London as she lay in bed only hours after Anthony asked her. A good opportunity to go home, she told herself, there were some books she wanted to pick up. And if she got to see Anthony, smiling that ridiculous smile that lately seemed to make her heart pound in her chest, then so be it.

“You look nice.” Mary hummed as she pulled up in the line of traffic, person after person getting out of the car ahead of them. “You always do.”

Kate forced herself to shrug, her fingers twisting in the hem of her dress feeling a little awkward, out of place at an event like this. “I didn’t really think about it.”

It was a lie, of course, and Mary knew it. She must have known how long Kate had poured in front of the mirror, ridiculously, Kate realised as she looked around at the crowd converging on the banks of the thames. Because Anthony would probably never know if she was there or not.

“You’re just as good as everyone else, Katie.” Mary hummed, coming to a complete stop at the front of the queue, “Anthony asked you to come, don’t forget that.”

Kate nodded quietly, kissing Mary’s cheek as she stepped from the car. “I probably- I probably won’t go to his party. I won’t see him I think.”

Mary hummed again, her gaze a little too astute, “I’ll be in bed, I think, when you get home tonight. Have fun.”

“I’ll be home before I go out- If I go out- Maybe I won’t.”

Kate made her way through the crowd around the start line, trying desperately to ignore the voice in her head screaming that she was being ridiculous, lightly pushing her way through to where the teams were milling around, and there he is. The dark blue lycra is tight against his legs, his muscles bulging against the sweater covering his top half, his cap covering that hair but she’d know him anywhere, she’d know the laugh that falls from his lips in that moment anywhere as he nudges Simon playfully, his eyes darting around before they lock with hers and narrow. Anthony squinted at her, without his glasses on, taking half a step forward as though he wasn’t actually sure it was her, snatching his glasses tucked into the front of his shirt peering through them before a wide smile broke over his face, darting forwards.

“Kitten!”

His arms caught her by the waist, catching Kate by surprise as he spun her around, his lips brushing her cheek.

"Kate! You came!”

“Yeah, I came.” It still felt awkward, her cheeks burning as she stared back at him, a shiver running down her spine as their eyes caught together.

Anthony startled, “You’re cold!” Before Kate could tell him it hadn’t been that at all, he’d shimmied out of his sweater holding it out t her with a gruff Arms up before he slid it over her head, the smell of his cologne a little overwhelming as the warmth settled over her, Anthony’s brow furrowed in concern as his hands rubbed up and down her arms. “Better?”

“Yeah, better.”

"That your girl, Bridgerton?!” One of the Cambridge rowers had turned towards him with a look of delight on his face, heckling good naturedly.

Anthony spun around wildly, forgetting to remove his arm from around her waist, “So what if she is my girl? Fuck off Dorset!”

Something about the way it rolled off his tongue so naturally made Kate’s chest feel tight, just for a second, imagining that she really was. That they’d spend all of their days wrapped up together, his arm around her waist in public, her chin on his shoulder. Warm and safe and happy.

Anthony turned back towards her, as Dorset waved him off, turning back to his own team getting ready for the start, and still Anthony made no move to leave, no move to drop his hand from her waist. “I’m really happy that you’re here.”

The words got caught in her throat until all she could do was nod awkwardly as she fought the feeling clawing its way up from her stomach.

“Bridgerton! Stop fucking around and get back here!” The coach called out, gesturing wildly towards the rest of the team.

Anthony made an irritated noise in the back of his throat, kissing her cheek as he slid his sunglasses into place, stretching his newly exposed arms, the lycra flexing in the sunshine. “I have to go, but um- I’ll text you the address for my party! You’re coming right?”

"Oh- Um- Maybe!"

Anthony shook his head, posing dramatically like a bronze statue for a moment, his arms held aloft like an arrowhead. “I’ll see you there! Starts at like… eight or nine?”

“Jesus Christ he’s so fucking hot.” A girl behind her sighed as he walked away and Kate had to force herself not to turn and look. “I heard he was… kind of up for anything but I tried to talk to him at a party the other week and he smiled then looked right fucking past me.”

Something caught in her chest even though she told herself not to let it. 

“I guess now we know why.” Another girl murmured. “Not that you can blame him, she is fucking stunning.”

“She is. And smart, and nice as well. Should be a bit illegal, actually.”

Don’t. They’re talking about someone else. Simon, or Jack, or literally anyone else.  

But the spark settled in her chest anyway, the tiny hopeful thing that would drag her down completely. Especially as Anthony turned back to her on the starting line, his muscles coiled tight on the oar, his brow furrowed in concentration, but just for a moment, his mask slipped, her tipped back his sunglasses and tossed a wink in her direction.

But when she saw him at the finish line, crowing with victory, his arms overhead as his eyes darted around, looking for something, and for some reason she couldn’t name, Kate let herself stay hidden, content to let him be happy from a distance, to watch his life play out without her, a smile on her face as she turned and left him to it. 

But she kept his sweater anyway, tucking it away in the bottom of her bag, OUBC split by oars, a reminder of who she could have been once, if she’d been brave enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jesus. Fucking. Christ.” 

Kate was staring up at the front of the house Anthony’s text had sent her to more than a little agog. There was wisteria, climbing up the front of the yellow stone, old enough, grand enough to be a museum, so picturesque. It was a little at odds with the music, pounding against the windows, the dim lighting flashing.

How did someone even get into a house like this? Did she knock? Did she go in? Should she just turn around and walk away and pretend this moment of madness never happened?

“How was it?” Mary had hummed, kissing the top of her head when Kate had shuffled through the door, her hands still covered in the sleeves of Anthony’s sweater. Her cheeks flushed.

“Um- Yeah he won. We won!” She corrected quickly, the toe of her sneakers tapping nervously on the carpet as Mary smiled, covering Edwina’s mouth to stop whatever was about to come flying out of it.

“That’s good. Do you want tea before you go to the party?”

Kate shifted awkwardly, “Um, yeah- it doesn’t start until later like… eight. But I didn’t- I didn’t see Anthony afterwards, so I don’t know if I’m invited, still.”

Edwina had struggled free from under Mary’s arm with a sigh. “You’re wearing his sweater! That’s a straightboy mating ritual as old as time!”

Kate’s face had screwed up before she could stop herself. “Can you fucking not say mating ritual where I’m concerned?!”

“What would you prefer?” 

“I’d prefer we stop talking about it because nothing’s going on!” Kate had sighed as she’d marched upstairs, Edwina’s voice following her.

“Keep deluding yourself!”

“Edwina! Leave her alone!” 

Kate knocked stupidly, sure no one could hear her over the music, opening the door anyway, peering curiously into the entrance. There were people everywhere, spilling from rooms, up an actual fucking grand staircase, and if it hadn’t been for Anthony’s voice calling out her she would have closed the door and gone straight home.

"Kate!" He was grinning at her, his glasses a little askew as he fought through the crowd, shoulder barging someone wearing a Cambridge sweater, a OUBC polo shirt proudly on his own chest, his cap backwards and she couldn’t stop the mad flutter in her chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, his stubble scratching her cheek as his lips pressed lightly against her. “I didn't see you after the race."

Guilt swirled momentarily in her stomach for a long moment as she shrugged. ”Sorry, I had to go. Congratulations though!"

"It's cool.” He was still smiling at her, his fingers intertwined with hers as they stood chest to chest in the doorway. “You're here now.”

Anthony didn’t give her time to respond, darting around behind her, his arm slung over her left shoulder, holding her right hand against her waist as he shoved their way back through the crowd, his voice hot in her ear "Can I get you a drink?”

"Ah yeah, that’d be great. Anything's fine, gin if you’ve got it.” Anthony chuckled as they approached a bar set up in the corner of the living room, bottle after bottle stacked on the counter. She’d expected him to let go of her, now that the crowd had lessened but all he did was drop a cup in her free hand, hold this for me, Babe whispered in her ear as he poured the drink into it for her, a tap on her waist when he was done. 

“Um-Can I introduce you to some people?”

She nodded, her heart still pounding louder than the music as he smiled back at her, darting forward to press his lips against hers briefly, completely unaware of the tugging in her stomach. The desperate need for more as he made their way back through, ignoring people who called out to him with nothing more than a wave, his heartbeat warm and steady against her back, strong arm bulging against her.

“Hey! Break it up!!” Anthony called out as he opened a door off he hall into a quieter room, a pool table and beer pong set up in the corner, a few people milling around, but most of the revellers clearly hadn’t found their way in here yet. Hey caught a ping pong ball off a nearby table, tossing it at a couple, locked together in the corner of the room.

“Anthony!” Kate said a little startled, swatting at him. “What the fuck?!”

Anthony chuckled as the dark haired man pulled back from his girlfriend a little startled, tossing Anthony a vehement hand gesture. “Well, he wouldn’t have heard me.”

“I did though, Anthony, didn’t I?” The girl, maybe a little younger than Kate herself did, straightening her sweater before she looked up at Kate, straightening her brightly dyed hair.

“Would you have stopped though?” Anthony asked, his fingers of his right hand moving quickly in time before he turned to her, still signing with his words. “Babe, this is my brother Ben, and his girlfriend Sophie.”

“This is Kate?” Sophie said, her hand touching Benedict lightly on the cheek to catch his attention as she signed. 

Kate realised what Anthony must have meant, why he’d thrown the ball, though she suspected that had less to do with his brother’s hearing and more to do with being an older brother. She held her cup between her teeth, desperately trying to remember the signs from the one class she’d taken in high school. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kate.”

Anthony let out a gasp, snatching her cup from her teeth at the same time Ben’s hand touched her wrist lightly, getting her attention, stealing the question from his brother as he signed, a little exaggeratedly so she could catch it. “You speak BSL?”

Kate nodded, spelling the words she wasn’t sure on, “Sorry, I’m a bit rusty though!”

Ben let out a crow of excitement at the same time Anthony’s arm tightened around her pulling Kate impossibly closer, his eyes burning against her skin for a long moment. 

Ben slapped his brother on the top of the head to get his attention, saying something Kate couldn’t catch but Anthony nodded furiously. 

Sophie smiled gently, obviously catching Kate’s worried expression. “It’s okay, He said he’s impressed, you seem great. Now he’s asking what you’re doing with Anthony.”

“Ahh, true siblings then.” Kate said, her stomach swooping stupidly as Anthony’s hand reached out, swatting at his brother. 

“She’s with me, because I’m cute as fuck.” Anthony hissed, taking a sip from her drink before he passed it back to her, and she took a sip of it herself.

“Fucking as if.” Ben laughed, tugging Sophie back against his chest. 

Kate sighed, “I hate to say it, but he’s a little sweet.” She didn’t know what made her do it, what made her reach up and snatch his hat from his head, resting it on her own.

Anthony stared back at her for a long moment, his eyes raking over her before he swallowed, turning back to his brother. “See! Sweet! And it’s definitely sweet when I make her-” 

Kate let out a squeak, slapping Anthony’s hands out of the air, to stop whatever he’d been about to tell his brother in its tracks. “Anthony, Jesus fucking christ.”

He just shrugged, leaning down to brush their lips together lightly, his hand tilting her chin back to deepen it after a long moment, his tongue sliding against hers so casually she almost forgot where they were, who she was. 

Sophie cleared her throat as they pulled back, rolling her eyes as she nudged Anthony’s shoulder. “You said you and Kate were going to beat us at Beer Pong. Put your money where your mouth is,  little lord.”

“Wanna play?” He looked so happy, so excited to have her there, with his family, people he so obviously loved that what could she say but, 

“Sure. But I play to win.”

“That’s my fucking GIRL!”

"You are really beautiful." Anthony said softly as they swayed together to the music, some time later. 

He hadn’t stopped touching her for a single second since she arrived, the feeling of his hand in hers, his arm around her a little heady, her heart hammering in her chest when he leaned close to her, the heady buzz of alcohol all around them, his voice in her ear. Dance with me, Kate.

"Like, so beautiful it makes my chest feel tight. And in the light you have these little flecks of gold in your eyes and it’s my favourite thing.”

Kate forced herself to roll her eyes, despite the fact tears choking in her throat. ”If that's you trying to get me into bed, I think we're kind of past that."

"It's not, I just- I don't think I've ever told you before, and it's true.” Their eyes caught together, Anthony’s hand tilting her chin up as the music slowed even further, and Kate couldn’t help herself from leaning up, brushing their lips together softly, something soft building between them as they moved together, and when she pulled back and looked in his eyes she knew what it was.

“Take me upstairs, Anthony.”

It was different, for her at least, this time he lay her on his mattress, slowly peeling her dress form her body, his muscles flexing and fluttering under her fingertips, it felt like something more, or maybe it had for awhile as she straddled him, his forehead pressed to her s as they moaned and gasped and moved together, his voice aching.

Oh Kate! That’s it, Babe. Oh my god- Oh Fuck! Fuck It’s never been like this with anyone!

Their fingers intertwined as they fell apart together, his lips swallowing her gasps of his name. And she knew, when her eyes fluttered closed with his arm slung around her waist that this would have to be the end. She’d have to stop now, because she’d already fallen so far, and she knew when she looked at him in the morning she’d fall again and Anthony wouldn’t.

But when Anthony rolls over her with a groan in the morning, his body covering hers to stop her getting away as he grinned up at her, chin resting on her chest, his hair rumpled, his face adorably squished and says “Let’s go to breakfast, then you can drive back with me.” She lets herself fall anyway, the whole way back to Oxford, with his hand on her thigh and the wind whipping through her hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Let’s get some ice cream.” Anthony groaned as they lay in bed together, his arms around her waist, chin resting on her shoulder.

They’d been this way all weekend, since she’d felt stupid, sitting on the sidelines of his polo match, something burning in her chest as she watched his muscles flex, his thighs tighten around the horse, something like pride as he’d scored goal after goal, his smile bright clear across the field as the crowd cheered. 

“Like what you see?” He’d called out as his horse had cantered past, as though he’d caught the fact that her eyes were glued to his arse. 

"Can you see without your glasses, my Lord?” She’d quipped back, ignoring the way several heads had turned towards her when Anthony’s laughter boomed, his back muscles flexing, BRIDGERTON written in bold lettering.

“Don’t worry, Kitten, I’ll take my contacts out before you take me home.” 

“He’s very good.” The woman beside her had said as Anthony had cantered away, chasing after the ball at an alarming speed. “Your boyfriend.”

And one little lie wouldn’t hurt. That’s what she’d told herself as she’d smiled in the sunshine adjusting her sunglasses, clapping as Anthony scored again. “He’s very good. He’s very sweet.”

He’d leapt from his horse at the end of the match while it was still in motion, the sunshine soaking into his hair into his skin as he waved at her, his helmet tucked under his arm. 

“The two of you are nice together.” The woman had said as Anthony lead his horse off the pitch and it had caught in Kate’s chest. Because they weren’t really together at all, no matter the shift that had taken place since they’d come back from London. 

“Thank you.” She’d said as she slipped from her seat, trying not to make it look too much like she was chasing after him, the way she really was.

They’d slipped through the door of his flat soon after, a growl ripping through his throat as honest words fell from her lips. I like watching you out there, it makes me want you so badly. His hips grinding filthily against her as his hands covered hers on the headboard, moans and gasps and desperate need filling the room, thickening in the air around them, his teeth marking her shoulder her own name pressed against her skin until they fell apart together. His voice almost as soft as his bedsheets as he whispered in her ear.

“Stay with me this weekend.”

She’d laughed, her fingers pushing his hair back from his eyes, his contacts abandoned, glasses back in place.

Ah! I can see you again!

You look like you again.

“I have no clothes with me.”

“I have clothes, we can share.” He’d hummed sleepily, “Just stay with me.”

So she had.

“Do we need ice cream?” She sighed, her fingers tangled in his hair, too comfortable to move, bare skin and against bare skin the way they’d been since she arrived here yesterday afternoon, her stomach swooping as Anthony pinned her against the sheets.

“Yes.” He hummed, grinning up at her a little dangerously, “I’ve eaten and now I want dessert.”

She could still taste herself on his tongue as it slipped past her lips now, his hips grinding against her gently again and Kate couldn’t help but giggle breathlessly as she pulled back, “Down boy. If you start that you won’t be getting dessert for a while.”

“Are we getting ice cream?” Anthony sat up quickly, snatching his glasses off the bedside table, grinning down at her like an excited boy, something about it so adorable, his hair sticking up in a thousand different directions. 

“You’ll need to get me a shirt, but yes, Anthony. We can get Ice Cream.”

Anthony nodded excitedly, shooting from the bed, scrambling into his boxers, tossing her one of his T-shirts at random, struggling into the rest of his clothes, his cap placed neatly on his head. “I’m ready. I’m ready to go.”

“Should I be offended that you would abandon filthy sex with me because I offered to eat Ice cream in public with you?” Kate hummed, tugging his shirt over her head, rolling her eyes a little at the embroidered Louis Vuitton logo, casting around for the jeans Anthony had slid off her last night, chuckling a little when she spotted them thrown over a lamp.

Anthony’s face fell a little, “No, I- Wait how filthy was it gonna be?”

And it was so ridiculous, how her stomach swooped but she swallowed it down anyway, standing on her toes to brush her lips against his. “You can find out when we get back.”

It was just turning to summer, the end of the school year just around the corner, the sun beating down on them as they sat on the grass not far from the shop, Anthony’s arm slung across her chest as it always seemed to be these days when they were together. Because this was the new thing they did, since they’d returned from London. Acted like a couple, and never spoke about it. And Kate was too scared to talk about it, to ask, to nudge him with her nose and say Anthony, are you my boyfriend? So they had this instead.

“Are you not supposed to be rich and fancy?” Kate sighed, dabbing peanut butter ice cream off Anthony’s nose with a napkin. “You eat like an animal.”

Anthony wiggled his eyebrows, his hips bucking underneath her, “I’ve not heard any complaints from you before, babe.”

Kate rolled her eyes, “You’re disgusting.”

He caught her lips with his, his tongue sliding over hers gently for a long moment, sending her heart thundering in her chest. “I don’t think you mind so much though.”

“Yeah, maybe not.”

Silence settled between them for a long moment, Anthony sighing as he flopped back against the grass, tugging her back against him, letting her chin rest on his chest, the late spring breeze fluttering around them. 

“What do you wanna do after we graduate?” Anthony’s voice rumbled through his chest, deep and warm and soft. “I know you’re studying law obviously, but I’ve never asked you what you wanna do with it, seems like something I should know.”

Kate hummed, her fingers intertwining with his, enjoying the closeness between them, enjoying whatever he offered her. “I want to be a barrister. Queen’s Counsel.”

Anthony hummed, “Can’t wait to see you in the wig, sexy as fuck.”

Kate chuckled, poking him in the ribs. “And you? Are you going to become a soulless corporate lapdog or are we fulfilling a family obligation to get a degree?”

Anthony hummed, his fingernails scratching against her scalp, “Neither.” He shifted a little awkwardly, clearing his throat before he continued, “Um- My Dad, before he died, he was going to resign his seat, in the House of Lords, and stand as an MP. And I… wanna carry that out for him. I want to do all the things he dreamed of, Because he can’t and I can. Is that stupid?” 

Tears pricked at her eyes, as she looked up into his eyes, shaking her head, “I think that’s beautiful.” 

He smiled so gently at her, eyes shining behind his glasses. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Her lips brushed against his as well, something so sweet in this honest moment between them. “I can kind of see you, hot young MP, shaking everyone up. Because there’s absolutely no way, I’ll let you become a Tory.”

His laughter made her heart leap, his hand on the back of her neck sealing their lips together again, his voice a sarcastic drawl “Damn. Well, if my girl says no I guess it’s a no.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My family has tickets to Wimbledon."

And Kate froze, the tennis ball she’d just hit landing squarely in the basket on the other side of the court. And she wasn’t really sure why she was surprised. How could his family not be a Wimbledon family? They probably erected the  All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club themselves. His ancestors probably played in the first bloody tournament there.

"Congrats." She snipped, zipping up her kit bag, throwing a towel over her shoulder, trying not to smile as Anthony threw her bag over his shoulder, gesturing for her to lead the way from the courts.

As they’d sat locked together in his room, freshly home from the end of year party, still relieved exams were over, her mind still fluttering of the carnations Anthony had given her to wear for exams, turning from white to pink to red, almost as though she fell for him a little more every time. And she still couldn’t bring herself to stop.

“Are you gonna be back in London for the summer?”

Kate had laughed, her legs thrown over his, “It might surprise you to know, my Lord, but some of us don’t have a country home to retire to.”

He’d rolled his eyes, snapping his tears playfully in her ear. “Funny. What are you gonna do?”

Kate had sighed, shrugging, “I actually um- I work in the summer. At the Tennis club I used to go to when I was in school. They helped me a lot so I like to give back.”

Anthony had hummed, “A whole summer of watching you in a tennis skirt is a burden I will shoulder with pride.”

She’d thought he’d been joking, but the very first lesson she’d been giving she’d looked up in the stands halfway through and there he was, just like he was at Oxford. Leaning lazily against the railing, clapping delightedly as Kate demonstrated for the children, smiling so fucking handsomely as he dropped a kiss in her lips at the end, leaning over the railing before they snuck upstairs to her childhood bedroom, giggling and trading kisses while the house was quiet. 

"We get pretty good seats usually, and um- we have some to the women's final this weekend."

Kate's brow furrowed, as Anthony’s arm slung over her shoulders. "I'm sorry, I don't really know why we're talking about how white your family is?"

Anthony rolled his eyes with a sigh, a cheeky smirk ticking his lips upwards, "I'll have you know, my mother has used spices four times while cooking. And only one of my brothers cried."

Anthony held the gate open for her, keeping her tight against his chest as they stepped onto the street outside. And as the chuckle rose in her throat there was something so familiar and settled between them, something that was becoming increasingly hard not to ask for.

"Oh so, basically not very white at all. My apologies."

Anthony grinned at her for a long moment walking down the street together, not far from the home she’d grown up in, his shoulder nudging hers in the silence. He didn’t speak again until they were right outside her front door, his lips claiming hers quickly. “I have to head off, Greg’s playing football but we're good right? I'll pick you up on Saturday at like... 11am maybe? There's like a cocktail party and luncheon beforehand."

Kate startled, her mind ticking over "Sorry, beforehand ? to what... exactly?"

Anthony kissed her cheek quickly, setting her bag lightly on the ground before he looked a little incredulously at her as he walked backwards towards his car parked down the street. "Wimbledon, I just said! Oh! And my Mum said to tell you, no, you don't have to wear white!"

"Your Mum?! Anthony what?!"

"See you Saturday!"

And Kate can only stare after him as she hissed out, “What the fuck?”

“Eddie, I need you to drop what you’re doing.” 

Edwina sighed, looking up from the book she’d been reading, one eyebrow raised, her voice dry as she dropped the book dramatically. “Well, if you say so?”

Kate rolled her eyes, “I’m serious, I need you to come by a dress with me.”

Edwina’s eyebrow lifted, “Why?”

“So, try not to make a big deal out of this but for the last… seven months or so I’ve been hooking up with Anthony Bridgerton.” 

Edwina gasped dramatically, rolling her eyes, “No! You haven’t! I thought you’d gained 30 pounds that rattle the stairs and had started giggling in a masculine drawl.” 

Kate sighed, “He’s taking me to Wimbledon on Saturday. His Family’s going to be there. And they’re definitely going to hate me, but I want them to maybe not… hate me because I’m dressed inappropriately.”

Edwina chuckled, shaking her head, “Why would they hate you?”

Kate blinked at her sister, “Ahh… because Anthony’s a literal fucking member of the aristocracy, and I’m me?”

“So they’re so rich they hate smart, beautiful women, seems sensible.” 

“Can you just-? I just want to go and watch the tennis, and not get asked to leave.”

Edwina sighed, standing from the bed, her arms crossed over her chest, tilting her head, her gaze far too astute, just like Mary’s. “I will come with you to pick out a very unnecessary dress if you just admit, for once out loud that you care what Anthony’s family thinks because you actually like him.”

Kate stared back at her sister, her chest far too tight, stomach churning at the thought of it, the mortification that she spend all day waiting to see a man who probably barely noticed when she wasn’t around. 

“I like Anthony, okay? And it’s really stupid, because even if he likes me people like him don’t end up with people like me.”

Edwina sighed, snatching her phone off the bed, poking her sister in the ribs as she walked past, “Not with that attitude, KitKat.”

He’s not coming, he’s going to cancel. 

The tiny voice in her head said for the millionth time as she sat on the sofa, the blue and white brocade of her dress tight against her chest, her stomach churning as she stared down at the last text from Anthony.

On my way. Can’t wait to see you looking pretttyyyyy

“I’m um- going to wait outside for him, I think.” Kate said quietly, kissing Mary’s cheek gently, desperate to get away, desperate to have a moment to herself, a moment to hide before they saw the disappointment on his face when he didn’t show up.

“Have fun, sweetheart.”

Kate nodded gently, making her way onto the street outside, and her heart stopped.

Anthony’s leaning down to snatch something from the front seat of that ridiculously ostentatious car, grinning up at her, eyes widening when he caught sight of her, his hair perfectly styled for once. He was dressed neatly in a seersucker suit his tie abandoned, shirt unbuttoned enough to show a tiny bit of chest hair, a tulip pinned to his chest matching the ones he was holding in his hands now.

A low whistle left his lips stepping towards her, his lips brushing her cheek. "You look really beautiful."

"I think I'm a little underdressed.” Her cheeks were burning as she gently took the bouquet of tulips from him, tears stinging at her eyes as he held the door of his car open for her.

Anthony shook his head, sliding into the driver’s seat "Fuck that, you're beautiful.”

It was odd, pulling up to Wimbledon, Anthony’s arm around her waist as he handed his car keys to a valet, smiling gently as he tugged her inside, talking gently to the person with the clipboard at the roped off terrace. “Anthony, Viscount Bridgerton and Miss Kate Sharma.”

There names sounded so odd together, as though they almost fitted together, but not quite, even as the woman hummed. “Of course, Lord Bridgerton.”

“Has my Mother arrived, do you know?”

Kate’s stomach swooped uncomfortably, a nervous sweat beading on her forehead as her heart pounded, but Anthony had no idea, his head inclined politely. 

“Yes, Sir. Lady Bridgerton and Mrs Ledger arrived a short while ago, with several of your siblings.”

Anthony nodded, thanking the woman before he lead Kate inside, humming happily. “I’m really excited for you to meet my mum.”

Anxiety clawed at her stomach as she forced herself to nod. “Is there anything I should know about how to like, address her, or do I have to curtsey or-?”

Anthony chuckled, “Curtsey? Jesus Christ she’s not the queen and you’re my- Hey! Mum!”

A dark haired woman turned politely, clearly being addressed, an older woman peering curiously around her, matching polite smiles growing as they caught sight of Anthony, barrelling forward with his usual exuberance, like an overgrown puppy, his arm holding her tight to his side. 

“Darling, don’t you look handsome?” Lady Bridgerton hummed as Anthony kissed her cheek, then the other woman’s.

“Gran, good to see you.”

“Anthony, you look more like your father every time I see you.” 

Christ, not only had he brought her for his mother to tut and show out of the room, but her mother was here to help her with the job. Anthony’s hand tightened around hers, as his grandmother hummed.

“And who’ve you brought to meet us?”

Anthony rolled his eyes, “Mum, Gran, this is Kate, who I’ve been telling you about-”

“Telling us about’s going a bit far, Darling, I heard of her for the very first time two weeks ago.” 

Kate’s stomach lurched at his mother’s statement, both sets of eyes falling to her even as Anthony sighed.

“Okay, but is she or is she not here?” He kissed her cheek, “Kate, this is my Mum, Violet and My Gran, Genevieve.”

Kate ignored her pulse pounding in her ears, forcing her hand to swing wildly forward, “Lady Bridgerton, Mrs Ledger it’s lovely to meet you, I’m Kate.”

Violet’s smile turned a little bewildered for a moment before she let out a delighted laugh, “Lady Bridgerton, listen to you. Sweetheart, Violet will do just fine, we’re very excited to meet you. Anthony’s told us nothing of course. My most useless boy by far.”

Anthony scoffed, making it clear she was only joking. “Ah but your most handsome, surely. Right Kate?”

Kate raised her eyebrow, “I haven’t met all your brothers, I don’t have enough information to make a judgement.” 

The group went silent, Anthony’s grandmother’s champagne glass frozen halfway to her lips, and Kate could have died. 

“I didn’t-“

His Grandmother’s head was thrown backwards, her loud laughter turning several heads in their direction, eyes dancing delightedly as her daughter hummed in approval.

“Anthony, I like this girl. You need someone to keep you on your toes.” 

Anthony hummed, kissing her cheek again. “She’s pretty great, right?”

Don’t. He doesn’t mean it like that. Don’t get excited.

“Anthony tells us you play yourself, Kate.” Violet hummed, shoving a champagne glass into her hand.

“She’s amazing.”

Her cheeks burned, “I’m not um- at this level, I just play kind of socially.”

Anthony chuckled, nudging her hip with his. “You do nothing socially. Least of all sports.”

“Can we have a picture?” 

The event photographer interrupted whatever Anthony’s mother had been about to say, and probably just as well, because Kate’s head was spinning. This meeting was the exact opposite of how she’d expected, fighting and clawing to find her feet in it.

“Oh sure.” Anthony nodded, tossing his phone to his Mum, “Mum, can you take one too.”

“They look so beautiful together.” Kate could have sworn she heard his grandmother hum. As Kate’s eyes caught with Anthony’s, the flash from the camera tuning into the background as her heart hammered. “She is… startling up close.”

“We need to encourage this.” It sounded like his mother said, but she couldn’t have. Because this wasn’t real life. 

Sitting with Anthony in the front row at Wimbledon, his hand on her thigh as he laughed with his youngest brother, his arm slung around her shoulders. It wasn’t real life that people handed her canapés and champagne and didn’t show her the door.

And when she saw Anthony’s instagram post the next morning, both of them standing together, like a matching set in blue and white, smiles bright, eyes locked together the caption made heart hammer in her chest.

Game was great, company was better.

And when the same picture was published in the newspaper, as soon as Kate saw the caption, she knew she had to let this end.

Anthony, Viscount Bridgerton with Partner, Miss Kate Sharma

Because she liked seeing that far too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Kate!” Violet Bridgerton’s voice called out delightedly as she swept down the grand staircase as Kate was shown inside Bridgerton House. “So Lovely to see you again.”

Kate had spent the last three days working herself up to this conversation, practising again and again on the tube on the way here after days of avoiding Anthony. But it was unavoidable. Summer was ending, and she had to let this go, stop them both from this spiral that would only end in heartbreak for both of them. 

She forced herself to smile. “I was just wondering if Anthony was in.”

Violet smiled, “Of course, he’s just through here.” She gestured for Kate to follow through the house, still imposingly large despite all the times Anthony had brought her here these last few months, trading lazy kisses while they ran upstairs, her back pressed against his soft sheets, or the carpet, or her knees digging into the desk in his bedroom. But it had to end. It had to, before she started to believe this was something more than it was. 

“Are you busy for dinner, Kate? We’d love to have you.” 

The question startled Kate, shaking her head a little desperately as Violet through the door open. “Oh um- I don’t think so, I’m sorry, Violet.”

“Perhaps next time.” She hummed, gesturing Kate inside with a kind smile, shutting the door behind her. 

Anthony shot up from where he’d clearly been napping on the couch, the TV playing something useless in the background. His motions were a little slow, his hair sticking up in random directions as he grinned at her. 

“Hey! I didn’t know we were having out today.” He leaned down, catching her by the waist, his lips claiming hers a little roughly for a long moment. And Kate nearly gave in. Nearly let herself fall against his chest and be carried away by the fantasy she’d made in her head, where he felt the same way she did.

But she couldn’t.

Kate planted her hands gently on Anthony’s chest, creating a little space between them, her heart hammering as Anthony let out a little sigh. Just get it over with. “Anthony, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Anthony’s brow furrowed, staring down at her confusedly for a long moment before he tugged her to sit beside him on the sofa, half draping himself over her. His closeness making tears prick at her eyes given the conversation she had to have. “Okay? Do I need to be worried?”

His words stung at her a little, something breaking in her chest as she shook her head. “So, you know we’ll be going back to uni soon-”

“Yes. I might not be as dedicated a student as you, but I had taken a little notice of that.” 

God why was this so hard?

Kate took a shuddering breath, her fingers playing with his where he’d twined them together. “I’ve um- I’ve really enjoyed… hanging out with you, but, Anthony I think it’s better that we leave this here.”

Anthony snatched his hand back, his mouth falling open in surprise, his voice a little breathless when he finally managed to talk. “Oh! Was this… was there something I did?”

Kate shook her head, trying desperately not to cry as she took a shuddering breath. “No. You are so great, even though a year ago I would have rather died than admit that, and you never made me believe this was anything more, but I- I just- Anthony I think I… like you much more than you like me, and it’s just-”

“Is this because I haven’t said I love you yet?!” Anthony’s voice was desperate, his hands gripping her forearms, and Kate froze, her mind spinning. “Because I do, I just- you haven’t said it yet, and I panicked because like- I really like being your boyfriend, and I’ve never really been one before and I thought I might scare you off if I said it too soon.”

Kate’s mouth fell open in surprise, boyfriend echoing through her head again and again, desperately trying to make sense of it. “What?!”

“I love you! I do, and I totally get if you don’t want to be my girlfriend anymore for some other reason, but if you want to break up because you don’t think I love you: please don’t. I’ve literally been in love with you from the first day I saw you, you can ask Simon!” Anthony’s eyes were wide behind his glasses, his voice achingly earnest thundering forward before Kate could make sense of it, her heart pounding. “I think you are the most incredible person I’ve ever met, Kate, and I know that I’m an absolute dickhead ninety percent of the time, but I love you.”

Tears were stinging at Kate’s eyes, her mind screaming at her, hands shaking, and still, the only thing she could get out was-

“Anthony, I’m not breaking up with you… because you aren’t my boyfriend.”

Anthony jolted backwards, looking like an affronted pelican with its feathers sticking up wildly, a chuckle rising in his throat. “Yes you are, we’ve been dating for months!”

Kate’s heart was hammering in her chest still, beating in time with his name. “Since when?”

“Since the boat race” Anthony said slowly, as though it were obvious. “We were exclusive, and then I asked you o come watch me, and be my date to my party and you came!”

“What? When were we exclusive?”

Anthony sighed, “I asked you in the library! We went out! I introduced you to my siblings! And my Gran!” 

Kate’s mind was racing, flicking over every interaction they’d had, everything falling onto place. “Oh my god.”

“Our mums are planning a dinner for our six month anniversary.”

“Anthony you never asked me to be your girlfriend.” It practically gasped from her chest, something hopeful and stupid letting her be pulled into his arms, her mind screaming as she fought a smile desperate to claw its way to the surface.

“I didn’t think I needed to!” Anthony said a little indignantly. “I thought it was pretty obvious how we felt. But you don’t-”

“No!” Kate’s hand darted out, covering Anthony’s mouth to stop the words falling from his mouth, shaking her head desperately. “I love you too. I just- I convinced myself that you didn’t feel the same way and I… feel so fucking stupid.”

Anthony’s lips crushed against hers for a long moment, pressing her back against the arm of the sofa, hearts beating together finally.

Anthony’s eyes were shining at her when he pulled back, grinning as his nose brushed with hers. “So you love me, and you still wanna be my girlfriend?”

Kate rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t keep the smile off her face, her fingers twisting in the edge of his shirt. “You still never asked me to be your girlfriend.”

“Wanna be my girlfriend?” There was no space for thought before he said it, his handsome grin making her heart beat out of her chest.

“Mmm I don’t know.” She hummed faux thoughtfully. “Sounds like a lot of work.”

“No, no.” Anthony shook his head “We love each other! No take backs!”

He hauled himself up from the sofa, throwing her over the shoulder shamelessly walking her through the house up the stairs, his mother barely blinking as she sighed.

“Anthony, Dinner’s in an hour!”

“My girlfriend and I will be there!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So let me get this straight.” Edwina cackled a little madly, tears in her eyes as she sat across the room from Kate. “You’ve had a boyfriend for at least four months and you had no idea.”

“Well how was I supposed to know?!” Kate said indignantly, “Boys do this shit all the time!”

“You had no idea about the party Mum’s been planning for you?” 

Kate sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “It actually does explain a lot about why she was asking me about pork medallions.”

Edwina cackled, “This is so good. You got a scholarship to fucking Oxford. How are you so dumb?”

“He could have been introducing me to his maternal grandmother for a lot of reasons!”

“Jesus fucking-Kate!”

“And Genevieve and I are very excited about starting that bookclub!” Kate snapped. 

“I have to ask, when you’d been fucking for five years and he asked you to marry him, were you going to assume it was purely out of pity?” Edwina cackled, “sorry, I have to tweet about this.”

“I’m not talking with you about this anymore, I’m going to see Anthony’s little brother play football.” Kate clipped her sister around the ear as she mustered her dignity, striding from the living room.

“No! Wait! Come back! I wanna know more about how you accidentally became a Viscountess!”