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He always waits for Seungmin to look away before giving the back of his head a blinding smile because Seungmin can't know. That his love wasn't unrequited. That Minho loved him just as much as Seungmin loves him, if not more.
Seungmin, for all his mature and dandy personality wouldn't hold back for love, he wouldn't. And that's why Minho had not been taken by surprise when Seungmin pulled him into the balcony one day, away from the chatter, and quietly and stiltedly confessed that he loves Minho.
And Minho was going to say yes, he really was. But he saw the stubborn determination in the other's eyes when asked about how they were going to manage under the watchful eyes of many. How he swore he would make it work, at any cost. That Minho and Seungmin would be together no matter what.
And that's what scared Minho. Was Seungmin's feelings for him really so unshakable that he would risk the success of the group? And was Minho willing to do the same? Raucous laughter from inside drifted out to the balcony.
No, he decided. Minho would put his feelings on hold. He can acknowledge his love for Seungmin but he cannot jeopardize the group. And looking into the younger's shining eyes, Minho did not believe Seungmin could do the same. He was too passionate, too smitten, too in-love.
And Minho wants this love, wants to reciprocate it, wants Seungmin to feel it. He promised himself he would make it happen. Just not now. And so, he declined Seungmin's offer with tightened eyes and downturned lips, watching the other swallow and nod shakily.
It's okay hyung, Seungmin said. I didn't expect you to return my feelings. I only wanted you to know you were loved.
Minho's pillow saw a lot of tears that night.
So, just like that, he had resigned himself to discreet glances, stifled smiles and hands itching for its other half for the rest of his career. But he would find Seungmin at the end. Even if the younger's feelings faded, Minho would make Seungmin love him again, would relight the glowing embers that once flamed with love. He promised himself and prayed Seungmin would wait a little more.