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“You killed him.” Bruce glowered.
Dick shivered. “No, I-“
“You deserve this.”
He stumbled backwards, trying to increase the space between them, but Bruce just loomed closer.
“If you kill, you’re just as bad as him.”
“But he hurt me,” Dick whimpered.
“Then get over it.” The cowl cut across Bruce’s face with sharpened shadows. “We’ve all been hurt. But we have to learn to get stronger from it.”
Dick hugged his arms around himself in a pitiful attempt at self-soothing.
“Why do we fall, Dick?” The Bat growled. “We fall so we can learn to get back up.”
Dick started shaking as he felt Bruce’s fingers clamp around his shoulders.
“We use our pain to forge ourselves stronger.” Bruce squeezed his shoulders in what was maybe supposed to be comforting but mostly just felt like a threat. “We don’t allow them to win. We won’t let them take our morals from us.”
Dick could feel tears rolling down his face.
“I’m disappointed in you.” Batman sighed. “I’ve spent years training you, teaching you how to hold against the enemy no matter what. And you let him break you.”
He couldn’t hold back the sob that surged up in his chest.
“You let me down.” Batman’s grip tightened enough to bruise. “You’re supposed to let your experiences make you stronger. But now you’re weak. And now, you’ve killed him.”
“I didn’t –“ Dick hiccupped. “I didn’t ask to be stronger. I didn’t want him to hurt me.”
“We don’t choose our trials, son.” Bruce shifted his arms to wrap around Dick in a hug. “We only choose how to face them.”
“I didn’t want a trial,” Dick sobbed. “I just want to feel safe again.”
“It was a mistake to take you in.”
He froze in Bruce’s arms. “Wh-what?”
“I failed you. I failed to teach you. You were never strong enough to fight with me. I should have seen it from the beginning.”
Dick let another hysteric sob burst free.
“And you failed me.” Bruce’s hug was so tight that he struggled to breathe deeply. “You were a mistake.”
“Bruce,” Dick gasped, trying and failing to take a breath. “Please –“
“I don’t tolerate failure. I’m sorry, son.”
“Bruce, please –“ he thrashed his weight away from Bruce, trying to push him back with his arms and legs and –
“I love you. I’m sorry I failed you.”
– and the pressure was crushing his ribcage and he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t –
“Shhhhhh.” Bruce whispered. “It’s all over now.”
please please help someone help please –
he couldn’t breathe and he was struggling as much as he physically could and it was no fucking use –
he was going to asphyxiate, he couldn’t breathe, please please someone –
please, someone, please, Jason –
Jason –
“Jason!” he screamed, shoving off the tangled blankets in a cold sweat.
He let out another shriek, from terror as much as sheer relief that he had air enough to scream, it was a dream, not real, it hadn’t been real.
The door flew open and was saved from banging against the wall by a large stuffed animal Jason had bought for this specific reason. He’d wedged it between the door and the wall as a buffer so he would never accidentally trigger his brother. Not in their apartment, where it was safe.
He knew Jason was asking if he could come in even though his ears were ringing from Bruce murmuring failure, failure, failure. And so he nodded.
Jason entered, sitting quietly on the bed beside him.
Dick was shaking, cold now that the blankets were gone, dreading feeling them against his skin. Wanting touch, wanting to finally not be alone, hating touch, hating the pain, his mind won’t survive any more pain, he was breaking, sanity ripping out at the seams –
Jason. Jason was there. Jason wouldn’t hurt him.
“Please can, can I.” Dick shivered. “Can I have a hug?”
Jason said something gentle and wrapped his arms around him and finally he’s safe.
He relaxed against his brother’s broad chest. Jason was strong. Jason would keep him safe.
He’s safe.