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They say that love isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. That it’s hard and brutal and violent and soul-crushing. That love hurts and destroys and maybe you’re just better off without it. It’s made in the dark moments, not the happy times.
But what if sometimes…that’s exactly what it is?
It was a night in, but not for any particular reason. Neither of them patrolled, but mostly because they didn’t want to. Jon cooked dinner, and Damian made tea to go with it. They watched a show that Jon had been meaning to, and Damian sketched beside him, occasionally glancing at the television.
They went to bed early, at least for them, and they didn’t fuck. They didn’t make love. Jon fretted over some of Damian’s lingering injuries and bandages while the latter brushed his teeth.
Damian threw back the blankets on their bed, and laughed as Jon collapsed dramatically into it. He waited for their animals to make themselves comfortable before lying down himself, and allowing Jon to rearrange the blankets around him.
Damian stared silently as Jon fussed over a scar under his eye, gently petting his thumb along it as he cupped Damian’s cheek. Jon smiled when he caught Damian doing so, and felt his body relax when Damian took careful hold of his wrist.
“…I’d die for you.” Damian whispered without preamble. It wasn’t emotional, nor was it flippant. It just was, and it had Jon chuckling.
“Okay.” He laughed, squeezing the fat of Damian’s cheek just slightly.
“Okay.” Damian repeated blankly, but then his face scrunched. “Okay?”
“I mean, it’s not okay. Please don’t do that. I think I might destroy the solar system if I ever lost you.” He joked, reaching his free hand out to touch the starburst scar on Damian’s chest from so long ago. “But, shocking I sure, I know you. I know you just said in no uncertain terms that you love me and will do anything to protect me and keep me safe until the end of your days. The sentiment is not lost on me.”
Damian pursed his lips in thought, then closed his eyes. “Good.”
“But may I?” Jon asked softly. Damian’s opened his eyes in curiosity. Jon kept his grin as he shifted closer to gather Damian into his arms. “You’d die for me, and that’s neat.” He carefully pressed their foreheads together. “But do you mind if I live for you in the meantime?”
He felt Damian’s eyelashes flutter as he blinked. “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard that one.”
“What, it’s not a phrase often used in the League of Assassins or your colony of Bats? I’m stunned.” Jon drawled. He reveled in the small smile it put on Damian’s face. “It means I won’t leave you. Not ever. Even if everyone else does. Even if for some reason you tried to distance yourself. It means I’ll take care of you when you need me to, support you when you don’t, and always make sure I do what it takes to come home to you at the end of the day.”
He watched as Damian digested the information. Smirked at the blush he could see rising in Damian’s face, even in the dark.
“God, Dames, you make me want to eat my vegetables. You make me want to be healthy and take care of myself and live forever! People think I’m a try-hard and don’t give up on anything just because I’m Superman? No! It’s because you make me want to be the best I can be! ” Jon exclaimed. Suddenly, he rolled, dragging Damian on top of him. “Sacrificing is easy – and how many times have we both done it? Have heroes done it? But living? Surviving? That’s the hardest thing in the world. And no one’s made me want to do it more than you.”
Damian’s eyes were still wide in surprise from the sudden movement. But after a moment, he melted onto his elbows, holding his face in his hands.
“You’re ridiculous.” He decided.
“You’re ridiculous.” Jon countered playfully.
“…I’d still die for you.” Damian hummed softly.
“I appreciate it.” Jon returned just as quietly. “And you’d give me no choice but to bring you back, because without you I’d be as good as dead anyway.”
“That sounds a little bit like unhealthy codependence.” Damian thought out loud.
“So does having a death wish to keep someone safe, but, you know, semantics.”
Damian grinned and leaned down to kiss Jon’s forehead. “I love you, Jonathan.”
Jon leaned up into the gesture himself, kissing at Damian’s jaw. “I love you more.”
Damian scoffed. “Impossible.”
Jon’s eyes twinkled. “Wanna bet on it?”
Damian thought for a moment. “Maybe after breakfast in the morning.”
Jon laughed as Damian fixed the blanket around them and curled up under his chin. He tightened his embrace around Damian’s back as he closed his eyes, and heard Damian give a sleepy sigh. “Deal.”