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When Nick meets Charlie for the first time, it’s only the first time for him. Other Nicks have met Charlie a lot earlier in life, but he didn’t know that yet.
He just knew that the lithe guy with the pretty curls standing at the bar was really attractive. And he had never felt this drawn to someone before, so he just had to go and talk to him. Nick might have not been very sober and he doesn’t exactly remember all of the conversation, but it must have gone well enough, because he left with Charlie’s number in his phone and the memory of a smile that just lit up a room.
Only now he doesn’t know where he stands with Charlie, because while he vaguely remembers telling him that he is bi, Charlie himself didn’t make any such confessions. There is sexaul attraction, at least from his side, but maybe it doesn't really matter though, because they fall into an easy friendship, and he prefers that over sex anyways.
What could be though, he finds out about five weeks later, when Charlie texts him to meet up, because he has something to tell him, and that something turns out to be an incident. They’re pretty rare for a person, so Nick is surprised. Not as rattled as Charlie, but then he didn’t experience the thing himself.
“You know you have to report this, right?” Charlie has been in the middle of an awkward ramble of apologies and assurances, that this didn’t have to mean anything. “Also, you say sorry too much.”
“Sorry. And oh my God, what do I even have to do?! Are there online forms for this?”
They google it and yes, there are indeed online forms. He’ll also have to go to a police station in person to sign the report, but they’ll get back to him about that, apparently. Nick doesn’t quite trust all the information on the internet, but for now they fill out the questionnaire on Charlie's phone and then order another round of pints, which then causes Nick to admit to his draw to Charlie. But at least he didn’t mention it first.
¤¤¤
Nick doesn’t know how these things work, but Charlie and him have four more incidents between them. And he now understands why Charlie had been so freaked out about the first one. Also the reports are bloody annoying.
It does fuck with your perception of self a bit, too. He knows his feelings for Charlie are genuine, he likes him and he likes spending time with him. But is he really this attracted to him already? Do the incidents amplify his feelings or do they warp them into something they’re not?
"Have you ever been bullied? Has Charlie?"
Serious conservations usually only happen when one is very drunk or very bored.
Considering Nick and Elle are the designated drivers tonight, it's not the alcohol that asked.
Elle raises an eyebrow. "What do you think? We might live in a progressive society, but teenagers are still little shits. I think it wasn't quite that bad for Charlie, when he came out; people acted strange at first and there were moments when Ben could have handled himself really badly- You know about Ben, right? Right. -but all in all people were more involved in their own little dramas. Me and Aled had it harder, maybe. But I switched schools and Aled met Isaac, and things got easier?"
Elle shakes her head fondly when Tao starts some progressive dance moves, almost tripping over his own feet then Tara.
"But we've all always had each other, so we knew it was going to be ok anyhow. Why are you asking?"
"I had an incident yesterday. Charlie was being bullied for being gay all through year 9 and then when he met me, my internalised homophobia made me bully him too when others were around and trying to get on with him when we were alone. It was really terrible to see I could be that kind of person. My mom is really supportive and great about everything, and I cannot imagine what made this Nick turn out like that. I kind of hate myself, although I'm not him."
Elle takes his hand. "It's very easy to take a wrong step, fall in line with the wrong people. But you are you, you're here, you like Charlie and Charlie is fine. So are you, aren't you?"
"Yes." He grins, thankful. "Yeah, I am."
He loves Charlie.
¤¤¤
He loves Charlie and he’s keeping it for himself for a bit. Not because he thinks Charlie would react badly if he told him, even if he didn’t feel the same. Charlie is not the type of person to be cruel to others.
He has never been truly in love, not like this, not even close, and looking at Charlie and thinking ‘I know something you don’t’ makes him smile and feel kind of giddy.
He wonders if that’s how women feel when they know they’re pregnant but haven’t told yet.
His own little secret to cherish for a while.
The club they’re at is loud, I-cannot-hear-my-own-thoughts kind of loud. They’re all at least tipsy and Nick is very sweaty already, from dancing and the other bodies surrounding him.
He needs some water but cheers and jeering distract him. Of course it’s his own friend group. He moves over to where Charlie and Tara stand a bit to the side.
“What’s happening?”
“Apparently Sam is in need of a girlfriend and the others have taken it upon themselves to find him one tonight. They were scouting the prospects and Sam has just gone to talk to one of them.” Charlie is grinning, his curls sticking to his own sweaty face. “What about you, they’re on a roll. Want them to find you a man or woman too?”
“Oh, no, I’m not looking right now.”
I’ve already found you.
¤¤¤
The next incident leaves Nick aching with longing. It also renews his doubts about his own feelings getting muddled with those of the incidents.
He needs to talk to Charlie. But not in person. Talking to him in person would mean seeing his face and can’t do that right now, the images still so fresh in his mind like he was still there.
So he texts him and hesitantly confesses.
Charlie is at his flat exactly 13 minutes later and kisses him right there on the threshold. His neighbours might be watching, but let them, let them witness one of the happiest moments of his life.
After a moment, Nick moves them into the flat, behind a closed door and onto his couch. Before there’s more kissing, there need to be more confessions.
He tells Charlie about how he feels influenced but he’s also very sure that this is real. Charlie understands and tells him it’s a good point that he hadn’t considered. (Apparently Charlie had been in love from the moment they first met). He’s also the one to suggest that they take it slow.
“I’ll be honest, I’d not be opposed to sex from the get go. But I feel like we have time and if it makes you feel better, reassures you, I’m all for it.”
¤¤¤
He doesn’t want to think about the next incident ever again.
But he now knows, irrevocably knows, that his feelings for Charlie are his own. Because the earth-shattering devastation came from deep within himself, not just from sympathy for someone else’s pain.
¤¤¤
"The whole thing, it feels like we're soulmates or something."
Charlie is mostly joking, but it’s not a joke to Nick. He somewhat believes in that kind of thing, and haven’t they proven it? "Sounds right."
"What."
"We've experienced the highest count of personal incidents ever reported. And we've found each other in all of these realities. We've found each other here. And I know we have only kissed a couple of times, but..." Nick trails off and shrugs; he doesn’t know how to explain that there will never be anyone else ever again for him.
"This sounds an awful lot like a proposal," Charlie answers jokingly. But his eyes are also as wide as saucers.
In for a penny, in for a pound. "I can make it one, if you want to. Charlie Spring, don't think I'll ever let you go again."
¤¤¤
Charlie may always fall first, but Nick always falls harder.