Chapter Text
“Ah- Xiao, there you are.”
Xiao spun around, surprised at hearing his name - he never expected any visitors, and the voice didn’t belong to the Traveler or their small, flying companion. His eyes widened as he saw Zhongli and immediately dropped to one knee, his head bowed.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you here, my lord,” he said quietly. What was Morax doing at the inn? And to see Xiao specifically, it seemed. Was he here to punish him for something? Surely, that couldn’t be it - Xiao was almost certain he’d done nothing wrong, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking of what he might have done. After all, why else would the Lord of Geo be here?
“Xiao, it's alright. I have told you countless times, you don't need to do that anymore. I am no longer the Geo Archon, you know this,” Zhongli said, a small smile on his face.
“I apologise,” Xiao said as he stood up, only just stopping himself from saying “my lord” again. It was difficult for him to break habits. “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you here..?”
“Its not for anything bad, Xiao. Don’t worry. I’m not here to punish you for anything, you’ve done nothing wrong.” He laughed at the look on Xiao’s face, a look of shock as though Zhongli had read his mind. “Don't look so surprised. I can read you well after knowing you for so long. I know what you were thinking.” He squeezed Xiao’s shoulder gently, hoping it would seem like a reassuring gesture to the young adeptus. “I simply came to let you know I’ll be visiting Cloud Retainer in Jueyun Karst for a few days. I was hoping you would join us at some point, perhaps for a meal. You can bring that friend of yours too, if you wish.”
“My friend?” Xiao didn’t really have many people he would consider “friends”. He had the Traveler and their small companion, and he supposed Ganyu could be considered a friend, as could Hu Tao. And perhaps Yanfei after the incident in the Chasm, and that tall human woman she’d seemed so affectionate with, who had also tried to save him when he managed to teleport them all away. But Zhongli knew most of them personally - would he not just refer to them by their name?
“Yes, your human friend. He’s from Inazuma, correct? His style of clothing is somewhat similar to the Raiden Shogun.”
Oh .
“..Do you mean Kazuha?”
“Ah, yes, that was his name. I’ve seen the two of you together in Dihua Marsh, and close to the harbour a few times. He is your friend, I believe? I would like to meet him.”
Xiao was quiet for a moment. Yes, he supposed Kazuha was his friend, but.. ever since the first time he’d seen him, there was a different feeling in his chest, a feeling he’d never felt before, and that he didn’t feel around anyone else. He didn’t know what it was, though, and just brushed it off, assuming it was because Kazuha was, for a while, his only human friend.
(That wouldn’t explain why he didn’t feel that way around someone like Hu Tao or Yelan, but he refused to think about what it could mean.)
“..Yes, he’s my friend. But - are you sure it’s alright, especially if you’ll be there? You aren’t worried about revealing your identity to another human?” That was only part of Xiao’s worries. Another feeling took over Xiao’s mind, perhaps something close to.. nervousness? But that made no sense - he was simply going for a meal with his lord and his friend. He had no reason to be nervous. It was just Kazuha.
A small smile flicked across Zhongli’s face, as if he knew exactly what was going through Xiao’s mind once again. “Don’t worry, Xiao. Humans often go out to meals with people they care about. They call it a date.”
The yaksha was quiet for a few moments as he thought about it, but he eventually said, “I’ll ask him about it when I see him next.”
“Good,” Zhongli smiled. “I hope to see you both soon.” And with that, he turned and left.
A date..? Xiao was sure he’d heard that term before, but it had been so long that he couldn’t remember exactly what it meant, meaning he couldn’t argue with Zhongli’s definition. He shook his head to stop thinking about it, and continued to watch over Dihua Marsh from the balcony of Wangshu Inn.
The next morning, Xiao was sat atop a cliff overlooking Liyue Harbour, waiting for Kazuha. This was where they always found each other, sitting by the glaze lily that always grew there. It was where they’d first met, and they seemed to silently agree that this was “their spot”.
However, Xiao couldn’t help but be nervous. He knew Kazuha was here almost every single day waiting for him, and he tried to show up as often as he could. But.. he hadn’t told Kazuha that he was planning to go to the Chasm, nor had he mentioned the nameless yaksha. Xiao had never stayed away for more than a few days, usually to give Kazuha enough space so that his karma wouldn’t affect him, but since he and the others had been stuck in the Chasm for so long, and he’d had to recover from his injuries, Xiao hadn’t come to visit in well over a month and a half. He just had to hope Kazuha hadn’t given up waiting for him.
It wasn’t until past noon that Xiao heard familiar footsteps walking behind him towards their spot. He stood up quickly and spun around, suddenly realising how much he missed Kazuha.
Kazuha froze when he saw Xiao. He hadn’t expected him to be here, had practically given up a few days before. He didn’t know why he had kept coming back - perhaps he just wanted to wait until someone could truthfully tell him if Xiao was even still alive or not.
“..Kazu-“
Xiao barely had time to finish saying his name before Kazuha threw himself at him, wrapping his arms around his neck.
“Archons, Xiao, you’re alright,” Kazuha said breathlessly, not noticing when Xiao froze. He still wasn’t used to human contact, especially not affectionate contact like this. “Beidou overheard Ganyu saying no one had heard from you in a while, and you haven’t been here in almost two months - I was worried you’d gotten hurt or something.”
“..I’m sorry,” Xiao said quietly. He hesitated, before slowly wrapping his arms around Kazuha’s waist, trying to… well, to do whatever Kazuha was doing. “I wanted to investigate something. I should have told you before I left.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Kazuha smiled at Xiao hugging him back - he knew he didn’t fully understand how humans were affectionate with each other, but he still liked when Kazuha was close to him like this. “As long as you’re alright, that’s all that matters to me.” He was about to say something else as he pulled away from the hug, but the words died in his mouth as he finally got a proper look at Xiao’s face.
“..What happened?” Kazuha whispered, reaching up to softly touch the new scar on the yaksha’s cheek. Xiao was silent, until Kazuha noticed more scars on his arm. He immediately grabbed his arm and pulled it closer to his face, tracing the scars with his finger. They looked like they’d barely healed.
When Kazuha looked back up at him with worry in his eyes, Xiao had to pretend his face hadn’t flushed red when the other had started tracing his scars. He usually didn’t like physical contact from anyone, but… this felt nice. Perhaps it was just because he was more comfortable around Kazuha than anyone else he knew.
“Xiao, these are new scars. What happened to you?” Kazuha was looking at him with such a worried and caring expression, Xiao couldn’t hide it from him any longer. He told Kazuha everything - he told him about finding and fighting Bosacius the first time (or rather, the memory of his friend), finding the Traveler and their companions, fighting Bosacius’s memory once again, using the compass to bring them all back up to the surface.. and that’s when he stopped talking. He didn’t know if he could tell Kazuha the rest - he’d be worried, upset, even angry that he’d even think of doing something like that.
“There’s something else, isn’t there?” Kazuha said quietly, reaching up to nervously cup Xiao’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over the new scar. Xiao leaned into his hand, sighing at the touch, before nodding. “Will you tell me?”
Xiao was silent.
“It’s alright. You can tell me anything, I promise. You channelled the energy into that compass to bring everyone to the surface, and then..?”
“…It broke. The ‘floor’ of the compass cracked, and my mask broke. I wouldn’t have been able to get everyone to the surface in time,” Xiao said quietly, not looking Kazuha in the eyes.
“…”
“I managed to teleport everyone else to the surface. I don’t think I would have been able to get myself there too, even if… even if I’d wanted to. The compass broke almost immediately after - it just shattered. And I was falling. Rex Lapis saved me, but-“
“Why would you even think about doing something like that?!” Kazuha almost shouted. Xiao nearly smiled at the way he’d predicted exactly what he would say, but Kazuha was clearly upset. “You could have died !”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I wanted to prioritise everyone else’s safety first, and at the time, I thought I could… I thought I could find peace.” He whispered that last part, almost not wanting Kazuha to hear it. He did hear it, of course, but stayed silent. “I spoke to the Traveler after everything, and I’m glad I’m still here. Even if only because someone else will be able to remember Bosacius and the others.” He paused, giving Kazuha a chance to say something, but he remained silent. “Bosacius’s fate is a matter I can finally stop thinking about, and I am grateful to Rex Lapis for giving me another chance. And… I’m glad I am still able to spend time with you.” Xiao reached up to where Kazuha's hand was still resting on his cheek, placing his own hand on top of his. “I would like to try and see you more often, if you would like that too.”
When Kazuha still didn’t say anything, Xiao worried that he’d said something he shouldn’t - maybe he didn’t care about what happened afterwards, or about Bosacius, or wanting to spend more time together-
His thoughts were cut off by Kazuha throwing himself at him again, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle and burying his face in Xiao’s shoulder.
“Don’t you ever do something like that again, you idiot,” Kazuha mumbled. “Promise me.”
“…I promise.” Xiao hugged him back, and slowly reached up to tangle his hand in Kazuha's hair, holding him closer. It had been so long since they’d been together, and now he didn’t want to let him go.
They stood there for a few minutes, not saying anything, just holding each other. It was Kazuha who pulled away first, to cup Xiao’s face again and run his thumb over the scars by his lips.
“Will you tell me, one day?”
“Tell you what?”
“Where these scars came from.”
Xiao hesitated. It was a story that he hated to even think about, already feeling the phantom pain on his face. He shook his head to try and get rid of it, but it didn’t seem to work. As usual.
“…One day. I don’t know when, but I will. I promise.”
“Okay.” Kazuha smiled softly at him. “Don’t feel pressured. Whenever you’re ready.”
They were quiet for a few minutes again, before Xiao spoke.
“I’’m going to visit the other adepti in Jueyun Karst soon. I was wondering… would you like to join me? You don’t have to, of course, if being around multiple adepti makes you uncomfortable, or you’d rather stay doing things alone, but-“
“I would love to. But you’ll have to come and pick me up - I don’t know where your adeptus friends live.” He laughed, one of Xiao’s favourite sounds.
“They aren’t exactly my friends, but..” A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. “I can meet you here at noon tomorrow?”
“That sounds perfect.” Kazuha stroked the yaksha’s face with his thumb once more, before leaning forward.
He stopped.
He couldn’t do it.
His face flushed red and he quickly dropped his hand from Xiao’s face, stepping away from him.
“I- I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he managed to get out, before walking away.
This happens every single time , he thought. Every time he saw Xiao, he told himself that this time, he would finally confess his feelings, he’d finally kiss him, but something stopped him every single time. Perhaps it was the fact that Xiao was never that affectionate, or showed no signs of reciprocating his feelings. Kazuha would rather silently pine for the yaksha than be rejected, and possibly never see him again.
He swore to himself that he would confess eventually, even if it took him years.