Chapter Text
“Grant! You wanna see this!”
Lifting his head while shielding his eyes from the hot Utah sun, Dr. Alan Grant—world renowned paleontologist—paused his lecture (which no one was listening to and were rather busy with their damn cell phones… he still hated technology). Whatever it was, part of him wondered if it would be better to wait. Another quick glance at the students and volunteers and it was evident he wasn’t going to reclaim their attention.
Sighing, he started walking away from the dig site. After climbing up the makeshift ladder to get to the top, Alan sought out the student who got his attention. The young man—Patrick Williams—was jogging over to him.
“You’re needed at the tent,” Patrick told him. There was a peculiar lilt in his tone that Alan couldn’t read, but there was no mistaken the twitching at the corner of his mouth. Really whatever it was, Patrick was doing his best to keep his smile from emerging.
“This better not be some stupid prank,” Alan muttered under his breath, recalling with disdain how some of the first years thought it would be “funny” to surprise the older scientist with a raptor statue and a cell phone tied to its neck to emulate its cries. It was one of those instances that Alan Grant came close to a heart attack as startling as it was, and he had survived a lifetime of close calls with that particular dinosaur. While the velociraptor still played a critical role in his work, Alan preferred the fossils over the living and breathing genetic modified creature.
“It’s not Dr. Grant. I think they learned their lesson after that,” Patrick said solemnly.
Alan grunted but he knew he made the right call in dismissing those involved right then and there. Of course, it also meant he made his team short-staffed and if he wanted to continue the dig, he had to rely on the support of the tourists he loathed to use as volunteers. They were not in short supply, and he was able to keep the site going. However, he would get the occasional curious and pesky ones that had to ask about that time.
At least they also learned not to inquire about that a second time.
He might be a man of few words, but Alan made sure the message was loud and clear.
As he began the trek over to the main tent, which served mainly as his workstation, he was becoming acutely aware of the looks and whispers of those he passed by. Some wisely chose to avert their gazes when he glanced over, but there were a couple who appeared to be eager about something.
Alan slowed his pace as a frown formed. The last time that happened with that prank… there were looks along with a few snickers. In hindsight, he should have known something was afoot, and he hoped that no one else would be that stupid to try and replicate that.
But this felt different.
He couldn’t put it into words exactly what it was. Of course, he could easily go over to any of them and frankly demand to know what it was, but he didn’t want any of his students or the volunteers to know that it was possible to get under Dr. Grant’s skin.
No… it was best to find out on his own whatever the damn thing was.
And yet.
It was foolish of him to even jump to this conclusion, but there was a part of him that wondered what if it was her? He was too old to have the fluttering of hope in his breast, and he was too old to keep thinking that she would come back. But damn it all… he did. Too much if he had to admit, and it was ridiculous he couldn’t let it go.
Alan Grant was a man who had very few regrets in his life. However, there was one regret—one too many—that followed him, and it was one he wished he could take back. Twenty-seven years, five months, three days if he was being really honest with himself. Even though he had tried to justify why he left… the excuses felt too hollow now as he looked back.
Excuses. That was a good word for it. Not a fact or truth but an excuse, albeit a selfish one that he thought was the right decision. Then again, it was a right decision for him at the time. Even when he convinced himself not to call her—after a depressing night of drinking or a nightmare fueled one—he kept insisting this was for her sake as well as his own.
But those moments when he could have righted that wrong eventually came to an end, and Alan Grant found himself permanently stuck with the consequences of his—for the lack of a better term—inactions when that one action that really mattered cost him everything.
Of course, he still saw her on occasion. How could he not? They still were part of the same professional circuit, knew the same people, and attended similar conferences and lectures. They would smile, wave, and even exchange small talk as friends do. Because they were friends first and foremost and that wasn’t going to change. Just because they were not romantically involved anymore didn’t mean they couldn’t still be friendly. They supported each other… defended each other when necessary. Alan knew there was contentment in that, and he could live with that.
Until it became inevitable that those days were going to come to an end. He couldn’t forget when she had showed up to one of his lectures, and she wasn’t exactly alone at that point. It was easy to forget, to pretend, that the ring on her left finger wasn’t there when the husband never attended their events. No… the swollen pregnant belly said it all and the reality was dawning on him that she was moving on. She found what she always wanted.
He recalled the obligatory remarks of congratulations, and the feigned happiness when deep down he was screaming, cursing, raving that this was wrong, wrong, wrong. But to the rest of the world… Dr. Alan Grant was simply expressing his felicity to a colleague and dear friend.
Afterwards, staying in touch became difficult and complicated. He didn’t see her as much in their academic world and she was pursuing other professional interests while balancing motherhood. He knew she could do whatever she put her mind to… there was never a concern or worry about that. But it wasn’t the same… The digs had stopped being the same years ago, and now he wasn’t able to see her from the capacity as a colleague in academia. He missed her presence and he missed having someone to talk to at those events where they could discuss or pull apart so-and-so’s theories. He didn’t have her around to nitpick Bakker and his inane argument that diseases played a factor in the extinction.
So, when she called and invited him over to spend the day… who was he to refuse? He got to know Charlie and became fondly dubbed the “Dinosaur Man.” The boy was too much like his mother that it was easy for Alan to forget there was another vital piece to the puzzle. Naturally, he wanted to dislike the man. He was prepared to do that for no other reason than to be petty (and later torment himself that he was far suitable than Alan could hope to be). Before he could do that, Alan did what he did best: observe and study. On principal, he didn’t like the other man (not really the other man, but her husband), but he was a nice guy and Alan couldn’t find any faults. He made her happy and that spoke volumes and Alan knew he couldn’t have asked for more for her.
Yet… it still didn’t make it less easy to know what could have been. And he almost slipped.
After Isla Sorna… Eric Kirby told him that he needed to thank her for sending in the calvary to rescue them. Alan knew the kid was right and he had every intention to do that. He reminded himself that it could only be platonic between the two of them. She had her life now as mother and wife, and he had too much respect for her to jeopardize the bond they still had.
However, the nightmares had returned full-force and it was made worse considering how close to the jaws of death he had been. The clarity he now had came too late and as precious and fragile life can be… Alan nearly forgotten himself and her situation. It was serendipitously that he remembered before he really made a fool of himself and destroyed their friendship.
It was apparent to Alan that he couldn’t continue this way. And like he had years ago… he quietly retreated. Oh, they still exchanged an occasional email here and there (the one thing about technology that wasn’t the root of all evil), but no more phone calls… no more visits. He still read her work. That never stopped. He couldn’t remove her entirely from his existence.
Indeed, it was better to keep his distance. He could be content to know that she was still changing the world and being her while he continued his work in the field where he belonged, surrounded by the dirt and fossils.
The last of his breed.
He might have accepted their circumstances, but there was a part of him that longed for the what ifs if he hadn’t been a coward. If he was honest with his feelings. Then who knows where they would be right now?
C’mon old man, he thought. Quit stalling.
Resuming his pacing, Alan thought it was better to prepare for the worst-case scenario. After all, the likely scenario that was awaiting him in the tent was someone from the university letting him know that he had to wrap it up. The good news would be if additional funding were acquired, which the likelihood was slim to none. People were still too interested in the genetically modified creatures that were now roaming the planet. No one seemed to care about the originals that were dead and buried.
I guess there is no other way other than to accept that paleontology will be extinct soon enough, he thought with a mirthlessly twist of a smile. He had once believed that when John Hammond started Jurassic Park, but twenty-nine years later… Alan Grant was able to hold on to his life’s dream. Now, the inevitability was starting to close in, and he had to brace himself.
Approaching the tent’s entrance, Alan took a deep breath. Here it goes.
He made the pivotal turn and froze. Not because he saw a T-Rex and didn’t want to be detected. No… It was because of who it was currently standing in his tent. Never in a million years—despite his hopes and wishes—did he actually expect to see his past standing in front of him. Not after these last twenty-one years.
And God… she hadn’t changed.
No. That wasn’t true. She did change as did he… time had a funny way of doing that. Nevertheless, it was her and his heart was practically jumping out of his chest.
He noticed her eyes—the same sparkling shade of blue—radiant and inquisitive. He would insist her eyes had a mind of their own as they were always studying, picking apart whatever was in front. Sharp, intelligent. It was her eyes that drew his attention when they had first met. There was still that familiar spark in them where the youthful curiosity was now filled with experienced wisdom.
Her hair was as long as he last saw her, but her curls were softer… wavier and golden blonde. She still had her bangs—something she insisted would never go out of style or fashion—but was really more practical under the blistering sun. She was also never one that had to be adorned with layers of makeup or felt compelled the need to hide the imperfections. She was always au natural as she called it and another practicality in their line of work. That attitude hadn’t changed as her face and jawline were not as smooth or round, though her complexion still glowed as she undoubtedly embraced the few wrinkles that came with growing older.
In one word: beautiful. Her affect on him was still as strong and powerful as it was, his voice hitching as he uttered:
“Ellie Sattler.”
xxXXxx
Some things never change.
Ellie couldn’t help the soft smile playing on her lips as she took in her surroundings that was both familiar and comforting. What could only be described as organized chaos, she knew this was his tent without a doubt. Various samples were scattered across the table with tools and piles of notebooks and books nearby. The filing cabinets were beaten and rusty with age, and some drawers did not close all the way. She knew they were crammed with papers, folders, maps, and more samples. Even the metal shelves were covered from top to bottom with assorted gear, lanterns, first aid, and anything else that a paleontologist needed to collect and study.
Tuck in the back corner was the only clue that this tent was used for other than studying and storing fossils. A few spare shirts were hung up with a folded-up cot and blanket on top. A pillow was sticking out from the cot, which wasn’t going to provide much comfort as it was probably flattened to hell. Not that the person who was sleeping on it would even notice or care. To the left was a recliner where a pair of jeans was folded on the cushion and a couple pairs of socks. Beneath the recliner was one other pair of boots—the “good” ones for when he needed to dress up to greet donors or someone from the university. The ottoman was littered with more scientific textbooks and notebooks.
What was conspicuously missing was anything computer-related or technology that wasn’t a lamp.
Yes. Some things never changed.
In a way, it was a relief for Ellie to see this. It did help to ease some of the nerves that were fluttering about. After all, it had been—what? Twenty, twenty-one years? People can certainly change a lot with that amount of time, but it appeared that he was still the same as ever. She didn’t know if that was a good thing or bad, but she took it as a sign that she made the right call in coming here to see him.
During the entire trip over, Ellie thought about what she was going to say when she saw him. It was a huge favor to ask of him and it was obvious that he was busy based on all the specimens strewn about. He would be loathed to leave it all behind. Not that she could blame him. She wouldn’t want to either, but this situation was unlike anything she came across. The ramifications alone were enough of a tailspin, and he was the only person she trusted that could help.
History aside, Ellie believed wholeheartedly that he was the one who could make a difference in confirming what she had discovered. Of course, he didn’t owe her anything and she had to prepare herself that he could say “no” and walk away. It would hurt if he did… but then again… it has been twenty years.
Regardless of the time capsule she found herself standing in the middle of, Ellie was reminded of the fact that they hadn’t really spoken to each other in a long time. From the outward appearance she could say he was the same person, but was he really? At least from what she could gather, he still kept anything personal private. Despite his technological disdain, he did a decent job in covering up that he was human from the little belongings that were relegated to the back corner.
Lightly chewing her bottom lip, she had to wonder, surely there is no harm in looking around.
True, she was snooping around her ex-boyfriend’s tent, but was it snooping when she was curious to see what’s going on? If anything, it could serve to be a conversation starter depending on how awkward it might be.
It wasn’t like she was purposely looking for any clue or indication that he had someone significant in his life. She wasn’t some lovestruck teenager. Hell, she was a mother to two adult children in college no less. However, it was very apparent that if there was a special lady… the tent wouldn’t look like this. No sane woman would be able to put up with the mess. Well, perhaps one woman could, and she did for a few years.
Ellie twisted the amber ring on her right hand. She wasn’t a big jewelry person. Even back in the day when she would be out there in the dirt, she refrained from wearing accessories that didn’t serve a purpose. All she needed was a hat and a pair of sunglasses and she was good to go. After she got married, she did wear her wedding ring all the time. The diamond—she insisted—didn’t need to be flashy. She hated that. Now, the diamond was gone, and she had this amber stone. Of course, she had it longer than the diamond. For years, she kept this particular ring in her jewelry box after the many years of collecting all sorts of jewelry as presents from her kids and ex-husband. Every piece contained a fond memory even if she didn’t often wear them (except when it mattered). But it was this one ring that she would take out and hold it and stare at it as if it could explain what happened when they went their separate ways.
She did that a lot after he left. And then when her marriage was starting to have its troubles, she found herself not just looking at it, but it would end up on her finger. Ellie couldn’t explain why she kept it all this time. When the divorce was finalized, she had been quick to get rid of anything that Mark gave her as the jewelry held no real sentiment value to her. Why was that a no brainer except when it came to this ring?
It was different. He was different. Then again, they experienced something that no one could understand. And bless him… Mark tried for her sake. He really did. But it wasn’t the same. He had no idea what it was like to wake up hearing that piercing scream or the tapping of sharp claws or even the thunderous roar of a long extinct T-Rex coming within inches of a speeding vehicle and its snapping jaw. Or how difficult it was to visit a museum and look at a dinosaur skeleton on displayed when she could only think about how she perilously clung to one as it snapped apart from the force of the raptors trying to kill them. Let alone the impregnable fear to go into the shed of their suburban home.
The amber itself was a reminder of that nightmare. It all started with that, and yet Ellie wasn’t frightened by the sight of it. Instead, it gave her the strength to keep the fear at bay. She couldn’t explain how or why, but she felt safe when she looked down at it.
She started to wear it every day, especially after the incident in Jurassic World. Since that park opened, Ellie refused to go to it… to go would be endorsing it and endorsing what happened on Isla Nublar with the ill-fated Jurassic Park. Partially changing the name didn’t help either. It felt like a poor excuse of a band-aid that was slapped on to minimize what happened. Then when all Hell broke loose… Ellie’s nightmares returned with a vengeance after over a decade of some peace. And it was then that things started to unravel between her and Mark. The ring played a minor role in it, but if she had to be perfectly honest, it was a matter of time before it would come to an end.
Nothing bodes well when someone already anticipates that a marriage wasn’t meant to last. Not that it was Ellie’s initial thought when she agreed to married Mark. Quite the opposite. Mark came around at the right time and he was willing to offer her all that she ever wanted: a family, a home. A quiet life full of security and safety. A normal life. A life where there were no dinosaurs, no death, no nightmares.
And she was happy. For a short while. After the kids were born, Ellie had everything she ever wanted, but it became apparent to her that there was a void present in her idyllic life. It was the little things that started to add up to her. Things she hadn’t noticed or taken stock until it was glaringly obvious.
Mark never quite understood her work. Sure, he would listen and ask questions and such, but he didn’t understand and eventually the questions would dwindle, and his responses were perfunctory at best. He wasn’t the only one. She was guilty of doing the same thing when it came to his work at the state department. Their conversations mostly centered around the children, which was always endless.
But not even that could last forever.
As the kids grew older, the less she and Mark were able to find common ground. They went to therapy, tried to find that spark that they once had. And they did, and at one point, she thought they could make it work. But Jurassic World reopened those old wounds and there was no turning back.
Mark started sleeping in the guest room more and more to avoid being awakened from her thrashing and screams. Not that the children knew this was happening. No… Ellie and Mark kept their problems to themselves. The last thing she wanted was for them to worry about Mom and Dad and what arrangements might have to be made with a separation. They waited until after their daughter’s freshman year in college. Then they both filed for divorce.
There was no animosity between them. They had reached different junctures in their lives, and it was for the best to go their separate ways. There would be the occasional check-in call or text, and they would get together for the kids’ birthdays and holidays, but Ellie’s feelings for Mark were more platonic. She was glad that he was dating, and this new woman didn’t have the baggage that Ellie Sattler had when they met.
Now she was free in a way that she had never known before. It was a breath of fresh air, and while she deeply cherished being a mother, she was ready to go back into the world and see where it would take her. She knew she wanted to get back into the field, but this time she opted for something she believed would be meaningful and impactful. There was plenty to research about industrial sciences and the environment, and it was the perfect calling. Ellie had spent a good portion of her career studying the past, now… she wanted to focus on the future.
How ironic that the future was starting to look a bit dim.
As she surveyed the space, Ellie’s thoughts drifted back to him. She might not have been part of the paleontology world anymore, but she would try to remain current. Correction: current with his work. They might not have spoken in sometime, but she always supported him. Any time there was a new book or article… she would read it. She did the same for Ian Malcolm as it was a way to sort of stay connected without directly being connected.
It was another thing that Mark didn’t understand either.
Shaking her head, Ellie walked around the center table when her gaze caught something that for a second… had her dumbstruck.
Was that…?
A cabinet drawer was partially opened and overflowing with yellowed papers, but it was the object hanging above that captivated her attention. As she drew nearer, she couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath.
It was a picture of them. It had been taken back during one of their digs—before Jurassic Park—in Montana. If memory served correctly, it was taken after they found the fossilized velociraptor. They had been so young, and she had to chuckle because he wasn’t smiling… just a grimace. That was him all right. But he was really excited about the find even if he didn’t show it.
She didn’t want to read into it. It was a photograph, and he wasn’t the type to attach emotional value to something. It was probably more of a memento about the dig than anything else. It might have been the only picture that was taken at that time.
She also ignored the joyous thrill that if there was a woman around… this picture wouldn’t be up.
Ellie heard the crunching gravel outside the tent, and she turned around as the man in question was standing there, a state of shock covering his face.
Like him, she was also in a state of shock too. She might have been mentally preparing herself for hours for this, but to see him in the flesh… It was a little silly and cliché to say she felt her breath taken away.
Indeed, the years were kind to him as they were for her. It didn’t matter that his brown hair was now gray, and he traded his usual cleanshaven jaw for a beard (and facial hair wasn’t something she thought was appealing, but she was certainly changing her opinion on that). His eyes were the same crystalline blue… clear as a morning sky and still as intense. Complete with his favorite fedora—a darker color compared to the previous lighter brown that he preferred—and a flannel shirt and jeans… There was no doubt that he was the same man she had known all these years.
“Alan Grant.”
TBC…