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There was a tiny figurine staring up at Kei and his eyes were swimming in the unfortunate adorable size of it all. Whoever thought of this idea to produce as a fan merchandise, Kei wanted to storm into their household. Whether or not Kei was going to beat that person up or give them the deepest and sincerest bow ever was up for debate. He couldn’t think straight not when the tiny figurine of Kageyama Tobio was looking up at him with his stupidly round eyes painted on its stupidly round head.
“Huh, they’re really going at it,” Yamaguchi noted with a tone of fear blanketed in awe.
Kei followed his line of sight and watched as hordes of merchandise were being snatched off their places from shelves and being shoved into the counter where the poor cashiers had to handle them all and their purchases. He scoffed. They looked so ridiculous. It was like an American Black Friday nightmare come to life.
Whose idea was it again to mass produce these and put them on the shelves?
“You’re not going to do anything about it?”
Kei’s brow curled up. “Why would I? I don’t care. It’s just an unnecessary object that doesn’t even do anything except take your money.”
“Uh huh.” Yamaguchi nodded his head, totally unconvinced. “By the way, you’re saying all this by holding the little Tobio figurine in your hands.”
True enough, Kei looked down to see little Tobio staring up at him from his place on both of his hands. Blood rushed to the tip of his ears and he quickly placed it—ever so gently—back on the shelf.
“Come on,” Kei mumbled, hoping that Yamaguchi would be too distracted by the crowd to notice how red he had gone. “No use staying here.”
“Aw, really? I was thinking of buying one myself.”
Immediately, Kei’s eyes zeroed in on his friend. “What?”
“He just looks too adorable! Look at him! He’s staring at you.” Yeah, Kei did not need that reminder as Yamaguchi brought the look up figure to Kei’s eye level. “It’s not fair too since I don’t have the real thing.” With that, Yamaguchi let out a grave sigh.
Oh, this was definitely bait. It just had to be. Kei knew it was bait and yet…
“What do you mean ‘real thing’?” Kei tried to keep his voice level and neutral.
Humming in thought, Yamaguchi started, “I’m just saying a certain someone is really lucky that they have the real thing that they don’t need to spend money on these merch. Wouldn’t you say so, Tsukki?” He flashed a gleeful smile yet it coated a sense of deviousness that Kei was familiar with.
“And why would you need the real thing?” Oh, Kei was definitely digging his own grave now. He blamed this all on mini-Tobio and his round face and his round eyes and his—
“To be with, what else?” Yamaguchi shrugged as he mustered up a dreamy smile on his face. “And maybe to hug, and to cuddle, and to kiss.”
What the hell was Yamaguchi trying to do this time? Was he slyly trying to trick Kei into opening his wallet for the hundredth time now by tapping into his jealousy and territorial emotions?
“But” —Yamaguchi sighed out— “the most I and other Kageyama-kun fans can do is to be with fake him rather than the real him.”
Kageyama-kun. Not Kageyama-senshu.
“So I guess I’ll grab this little guy from its shelf and buy him for myself and—oh, wow.” The green-haired man’s eyes widened in genuine shock as his eyes scoured over the area. “Am I holding the last Kageyama Tobio look up figure right now?”
A tick popped up on Kei’s forehead and his jaw tensed. That was it.
Hours later when Tobio finally stepped into his home, he let out a relieved sigh. He had been so tired from practicing all day long now that the season was coming up.
“Hey, Kei,” he greeted his boyfriend who was sitting by the couch and looking at his phone with such intensity. “How was your day?”
“Fine.”
Tobio frowned. “How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Everything alright?”
“Fine.”
“Okay…”
Tobio gave Kei one last weird look before heading to their shared bedroom to change up before preparing their dinner. But as soon as he walked into the room, he was greeted by a small figurine staring up at him with his exaggeratedly large eyes plastered on an exaggeratedly large head. The setter pinched the bridge of his nose as he inhaled sharply. He needed to do something about Kei buying so much merch of him now.
“Kei!” He marched back into the living room. “What is this?”
He shoved the look up figure into Kei’s face which turned into an embarrassing shade of red.
"Blame Yamaguchi."