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Sebastian lay clutching the still unresponsive body of his master, head on the boy's chest, tucked under his chin. His arms curled around the boy's back and pulled him close, body shaking. His legs tangled in his master's blankets, kicking slightly as he quietly sobbed. His tears were soaking Ciel's shirt and he had half a mind to move so he wouldn't get him dirty, but he couldn't bring himself to let go.
His wings covered Ciel, keeping him from the view of anyone else. His tail had wrapped around the boy's waist and his legs were tangled with Ciel's own as well as the sheets as he curled himself around the boy. His mind screamed to protect Ciel, save him, keep him together but Sebastian didn't know how. Ciel's heartbeat was weak, unsteady, as irregular as his breathing. He clung barely to life.
He didn't want to let go, not now, he couldn't. It had been time for him to complete the contract and claim Ciel's soul, but he had found that he couldn't bring himself to. Ciel meant so much to him and he couldn't hurt him, couldn't kill him. He couldn't stand to part with him. He had given the boy his soul back, pushed it back into his body, but he still wouldn't wake up.
He didn't feel Ciel's heartbeat regulate and become stronger, he didn't hear Ciel's breathing get deeper. He didn't realize anything until he felt the boy's body shift, and a spark of relief shot through him. A small hand reached up to settle on Sebastian's head, though it didn't move from there. The other grabbed Sebastian's jacket gently, seemingly hesitant or confused, as Sebastian's cries turned from worry to relief.
"Sebastian…? What's going on?"
"I- I couldn't-" Sebastian cut himself off with a soft whine and buried his face in his master's chest.
"Couldn't what? What, did you forget how to eat?"
Sebastian shook his head almost frantically, and the hand on his head began to… pet him, gently stroking his hair. Ciel's voice was softer this time, seemingly realizing just how distressed his demon was.
"What happened?"
"I can't- I can't hurt you. I can't kill you. I can't. I don't want to. I-"
The next part was quiet, so quiet Ciel almost didn't hear him.
"I don't want to live without you."
"Sebastian…"
"Please just, let me hold you for a while, please. I just need to make sure you're here. Then you can kick me out, break the contract, whatever. Just let me make sure you're okay first."
The hand on his jacket drifted until Ciel's arm was wrapped loosely around him, the other lowering to do the same.
"Look at me, Sebastian." .
He did as he was told. Ciel's eyes, the one with the contract symbol glowing, met his own.
"I'm not going to kick you out. Or anything like it, for that matter. I just… Why do you care? You're a demon, you're essentially immortal, I'm just one human in a long line of them."
"..."
"Sebastian."
"Demons… are creatures, young master. We embody the worst of humanities traits, tenfold. We are… monsters. We are considered emotionless, but… We have emotions, but we push them down and do our best to stomp them out because we would not be able to deal with the guilt that comes with what we do. Some are successful, some aren't."
"And…?"
"Not only are you the first person in years, young master, with the peculiar ability to force me to feel, but… on top of it, you make me feel better. You heal some of the old scars that make up my past, and make me feel like less of a monster. I take care of you so well because I care about you, and because it makes me feel like I'm… doing something right."
There was silence. Slowly, Ciel's hand returned to his head, stroking feather-soft hair and rough horns. The boy's other hand gripped tighter to him, and Sebastian leaned slightly into the welcome contact. The look on Ciel's face was unreadable, and Sebastian, for once, would not use their bond to peek at Ciel's emotions.
"Sebastian?"
"Yes, my lord?"
"What… what would you do, if I were to say I love you?"
"Well… I'd say I love you too, my young master."
"Genuinely?"
"You know I cannot lie, master, but yes. There is no other word that fits how deeply I feel for you."
Ciel smiled a little.
"Would that be a confession?"
"I… suppose it would, young master. If you are willing to accept, of course."
"Of course I am, Sebastian. I love you. I have for… longer than I'd like to admit before I realized, truly."
Sebastian smiled, and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to Ciel's lips.
"I love you too, my young master. I love you more than anything."
Ciel smiled, a true smile, and it was the first time in many years Sebastian had seen it. He smiled back, and lay his head back on Ciel's chest, content to simply hold the boy close to him as long as possible. It calmed him, more than he was willing to admit, simply to hold the boy like this. It was a twofold comfort that Ciel wasn't at all scared of his true form, it seemed.
Ciel's fingers threaded through his hair, tugging lightly. His other hand drifted to Sebastian's wings, petting the soft feathers with a happy hum. Sebastian purred under the touch, unused to it but not unwilling or uncomfortable. He heard Ciel give a soft laugh at the low rumbles, leaning to press a kiss to the top of Sebastian's head.
His breathing was still slightly shaky, tear tracks staining his cheeks. He let himself lean into the comfort of his young master, no matter how much it broke his aesthetic, because he had craved it for a long time and needed it now. It almost felt better, now that he had let go of everything he had been holding back. Even the tears made him feel a little better, and he thought maybe he understood why humans were so emotional.
Ciel made him so happy, so very happy, and he found himself thinking that he wouldn’t mind staying with him, even if it meant forever. Ciel’s presence was both oddly comforting as well as welcoming, and Sebastian adored the boy. He would give him only the best he could, his dear little master deserved it all. He deserved only the finest things in life, and happiness, a life free of worry and sadness and fear. Sebastian would do his best to give Ciel that.
Maybe, this time, he could be happy.