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if anyone were to ask him, minho didn't know how he got himself into his current situation, really.
he couldn't tell you when he stopped giving a shit about his reputation as the king of hawkins' high or when he realized that the hierarchy that ruled his high school's every day life was a bunch of crap, either.
all he knew was that he never felt more alive than at this very moment.
the yelling behind him was blocked out by the wind, his eyes stinging from the cold but his feet were steadily carrying him across the pavement — fast, and without a doubt. he could feel the blood pumping in his veins, heating him up from the inside.
he didn't look back, his eyes never wavering from the ringed hand that was tightly clasped around his and pulled them away from everything else. the boy looked back at him, a giddy laugh escaping his heart shaped lips and minho felt high off the other boy's fire that seemed to spark in eyes.
the only thing minho could hear over the blood rushing in his ears was their synchronized panting together with jisung's black boots stomping hard on the ground. minho's sneakers, in comparison, were quiet.
it was odd, he thought, how his heart leaped out of his chest when jisung pushed him against the wall of a narrow alleyway and pressed his warm body against his to hide them from the people chasing them.
it was odd, because minho felt jisung's heart erratically beating against his own and the scent of sweat and weed mixed together with jisung's cologne that hung between them made minho's head spin beautifully.
his throat was partially dry from the running but more so from the pretty boy grinning into the crook of his neck, his heavy pants causing sweet shivers to run down minho's spine and he was painfully aware of the cold metal of jisung's rings pressing into the skin where the boy's hands were resting on his waist.
suddenly, jisung was looking at him, really looking, and minho thought he was beautiful under the shitty light that was cast over them from a convenience store nearby. there always seemed to be embers lingering in the depths of jisung's eyes, ready to burn into flames at any time.
and minho panicked.
he panicked, because he was the king of hawkins' high and was supposed to fall in love with some preppy girl his parents would approve of.
but instead, minho caught himself wanting nothing more than to kiss the freak of hawkins' high breathless and spark the embers in jisung's eyes; watch them rise when jisung realized he wasn't the only one with a forbidden desire and press himself against minho until they melted into one.
a soft smile tugged at the corners of jisung's lips, a teasing glint in his eyes as he brought a hand up to caress minho's cheek — the aforementioned leaned into the touch without a hitch, his heart swelling in his chest when jisung beamed at the lack of resistance.
jisung slowly moved his thumb across minho's bottom lip, the touch feathery light.
"don't run away again, sweetheart."
minho rolled his eyes fondly, eventually fluttering them shut.
rewind to two weeks prior ::
"sorry I'm late!"
minho looked up from where he had traced patterns into the dirt with the tip of his shoe, scoffing at the sight of his best friend trying to tame his disheveled hair with flushed cheeks.
"couldn't postpone snogging face with the 'cute drummer guy'," minho made air quotes with his fingers. "for another hour, could you?" hyunjin bit his lip, the smile threatening to spill over enough for minho to drop the matter with a sigh and motion hyunjin to get into his car.
hyunjin did so with another muttered apology that minho just waved off, used to his best friend's antics by now.
"his name is chan, for your information."
"oh? finally got to first name basis after making out for god knows how long, I see." minho smirked, putting the car in reverse to get off hawkins' high parking spot.
"it's only been a month, thank you very much," hyunjin pulled the sun blocker down to check himself in the mirror, wincing when he noticed his smudged lip gloss. "besides, it's not like we can just, be together. with it being '86 and all."
minho noticed the shift of their conversation, how hyunjin seemed to sink into his seat and quickly tried to come up with something else.
"so. who is this guy we're meeting?"
hyunjin perked up at that and minho was glad to see the discomfort vanish from his friend's face.
"a friend of chan's, apparently. he's known the guy for years and his stuff is cheap so I thought it couldn't hurt to check him out," hyunjin reapplied his lip gloss with a pop of his lips, seemingly more satisfied. "I went through my stash in like two days because of finals."
minho chuckled, rather amused than worried by hyunjin's lack of self control.
"is that why you're so fucking fidgety?"
hyunjin continued whipping his legs, completely unfazed by minho's remark.
"I've been out for like, three days. you try surviving this town sober," hyunjin paused before he snapped his fingers with an affirmative noise, turning to minho for dramatic effect. "almost forgot that's exactly what you've been doing the last 18 years, loser."
minho flicked his forehead, his friend recoiling with a sharp inhale and rubbed over the red spot while cursing minho under his breath.
"uncalled for, asshat. and I admire you for your resistance, really!"
minho only rolled his eyes.
"stop trying to butter me up, you still owe me for driving your skanky ass there." hyunjin gasped in mock offense, putting a hand over his heart. "you wound me, lee."
minho tuned out the rest of hyunjin's speech about how you should never insult your friends in favor of frowning at the location they were to meet the guy hyunjin wanted to buy his weed off.
"uh, a trailer park?" minho questioned suspiciously. hyunjin stopped his rambling once he had realized they were there and got out the car with a way too enthusiastic hop for someone whose main goal was to buy drugs.
minho followed him with reluctant steps.
"hey hwang, are you sure this is the right place?" minho had to fasten his pace to keep up with hyunjin's long legs, running into his friend when he suddenly stopped with an exclamation of glee.
"the hell, man?"
hyunjin nudged his chin forward to make minho aware of the white trailer in front of them, locking their arms to pull minho with him. before he could protest, hyunjin had already knocked at the door and shortly after there was movement heard from the inside with footsteps heading towards the door.
now minho didn't know what he was expecting when that door opened but it certainly wasn't for him to immediately lock eyes with the freak of hawkins' high — han jisung.
his hair was messy on his head, the dark blue strands curling just above his shoulders and his bangs were hanging untamed over his eyes. minho could spot eyeliner adorning jisung's eyes, the edges smudged.
he stiffened in surprise, playing the funny feeling in his stomach off for nerves when jisung ran his eyes over minho as he leaned against the doorframe. minho could spot hints of tattoos peeking through his ripped jeans and where his tee of some metal band had ridden up when he crossed his arms.
"hi! we talked? well, chan did. he said you sell stuff."
the boy's lips were stretched into an amused smile at hyunjin's chirping tone, his eyes lingering on minho for a moment longer until he averted his gaze to his friend.
minho released a subtle breath.
"oh chan," jisung hummed knowingly, licking over the ring pierced through his bottom lip in thought. "and pretty boy here?" minho had turned away in the pretense of checking his watch, used to people hitting on his friend without an ounce of shame.
"that's my friend minho," curiosity colored hyunjin's voice and said boy flinched at the mention of his name, looking up to find himself under jisung's delighted gaze again.
minho felt himself blush and cleared his throat, irritated by the pleased smile that seemed to settle on the boy's lips at his reaction.
no one had ever called him pretty before. hot, sexy, sure. but pretty? especially not with hyunjin right beside him. don't get him wrong, he loved hyunjin but his friend's presence was all consuming — his beauty easily the kind you find in movies so for minho to be the object of desire for a change was, new.
of han fucking jisung out of all people as well.
"shit, lee 'the king' minho here to buy drugs off the freak? how scandalous."
jisung's stance had taken on a more defensive note and minho pressed his lips into a thin line, pulling his arm out of hyunjin's to put his hands into his pockets.
"I'm moral support only, not really into the whole drug scene." jisung laughed and minho was caught off guard by how the sound seemed to rebound in his head. "you should try it, pretty boy. you look awfully tense."
there was a challenging glint in jisung's eyes and minho felt heat pooling in the pit of his stomach, his mouth faster than his brain.
"how fortunate I don't mind scandals much."
minho couldn't get jisung out of his head.
from his cocky grin to his blunt personality, he all but made himself a home in minho's mind.
it was a thursday afternoon so family video was basically deserted aside from hyunjin and minho himself. the silence only encouraged the thoughts of han jisung prying his mind, his head resting on the palm of his hand as minho was leaned across the counter and stared into nothing.
"you've seen han these days?"
hyunjin stopped his demonstration of stacking returned movies back on their shelves to look at his friend instead, an eyebrow raised in surprise.
"not since I bought my stash, no," minho nodded without looking at hyunjin, his features morphing into a frown. why wasn't hyunjin as infatuated with the freak? surely it couldn't just be him who hasn't been able to shake jisung's presence off since he'd last seen him.
minho's inner turmoil was cut short by hyunjin slamming some spare tapes right in front of him, bringing their foreheads together with a shit-eating grin.
"why? the withdrawal symptoms that bad?"
minho shoved his best friend with a scoff, ears aflame. "fuck off, hwang." minho knew hyunjin was only messing with him but it actually did feel like minho was suffering under some fucking withdrawal from a drug with jisung's name spitting around in his head. it was aggravating, just like watching the dvd symbol never hit the corners of the screen as minho took the tapes hyunjin had dropped and went to sort them back.
his back was turned to the door as the bell above it rang, indicating a customer. hyunjin was at the counter so minho didn't bother turning around as he began to stack up some of the tapes, the rhythmical motion calming for his loud brain.
he turned one of the tapes over in his hand before putting it back on the shelf.
star wars.
minho was convinced that the movie series about spaceships and space bears or whatever the hairy thing was called, was something that jisung was way too passionate about. just like he was with everything.
minho found himself tucking the tape under his jacket, not putting it back yet for unknown reasons.
"I don't think you're allowed to just take these, pretty boy."
minho startled at the sudden voice and dropped some of the tapes while clutching his heart with a curse. he could hear a giggle next to him and suddenly he was face to face with the reason for his odd behavior the past days.
"sorry, sweetheart. didn't mean to startle you."
minho's heart fluttered for reasons different than shock.
the chains attached to jisung's ripped jeans rattled when he crouched down to collect the tapes for minho. once he straightened up again, he seemed to have gotten even closer and the same teasing grin that had been burned behind minho's eyelids was on his lips.
jisung's fingers brushed over minho's when he took the tapes from the other, his black nail polish chipped at the top and minho quickly pulled his hand back.
jisung's smile seemed to widen, this time leaning against the shelf as he pointed at minho's side.
"what movie could be of such importance, that your majesty had to be forced to resort to actions such as stealing?"
hyunjin snickered behind them, quickly going back to typing on the computer when minho sent him a glare.
minho poked the inside of his cheek in irritation. something about jisung treating him like royalty rubbed him the wrong way.
"don't call me that," minho ran a hand through his hair when jisung merely tilted his head, interest spiking in his dark eyes. "and it's not stealing when you work here, if anything it's burrowing."
jisung twirled a lock of his hair around his finger, eyes never leaving minho.
"and what movie are you burrowing?"
minho took the movie out of his jacket, an amused smile curling at the corners of jisung's lips once he recognized it.
"I'm afraid chicks don't dig the whole nerd scene, lee." minho held his gaze, there was a challenging glint in jisung's eyes that had minho's insides jittery with the need to catch him off guard.
"who said I'm getting it for a girl?"
jisung wet his bottom lip, minho's eyes involuntarily following the movement of his tongue. something flashed in jisung's eyes when he caught minho staring.
"who you getting it for, then?"
jisung leaned forward and minho got hit with a whiff of the other's cologne, the scent so different and heavy in comparison to what he usually smelled when a girl was close to him. it had never been a boy, never jisung.
"you."
jisung's eyes widened in genuine surprise and minho jerked back from his own words, sputtering an explanation.
"I mean! aren't those the type of movies you like?"
jisung seemed to have recovered from his initial shock when he threw his head back with a laugh, the untamed locks framing his face and minho's heart stuttered when he took notice of the heart jisung's lips created when he smiled — unguarded, and welcome.
"shit, lee. are you calling me a nerd?"
minho bit back a smile.
"the master of dragons and dungeons? I wouldn't dare." jisung lowered his head with a chuckle, stepping closer. "it's dungeons and dragons, sweetheart," he took the tape from minho's hands, deliberately caressing over his knuckles when he pulled back.
"I guess I'll have to rent this now," jisung sighed in faux exasperation and nodded to himself one more time before he went over to hyunjin to pay for the movie.
jisung looked at minho from under his bangs, seeming to mull something over in his head as he chewed on his lip. he hesitantly opened his mouth only to close it again with an unsure smile, eventually grabbing the tape and leaving the store with one last glance at minho.
minho couldn't quite decipher the look in his eyes just now but he found himself going after jisung nonetheless, his feet carrying him out the door mindlessly.
"hey, han!"
jisung turned around with his hands in his pockets and minho might have realized what the look in the boy's eyes had meant when relief flickered in them at his appearance.
"you have anyone to watch star wars with, yet?"
relief rose to hope.
"you wanna hang out with the freak of hawkins that bad, lee?"
this was jisung's way of giving him an out, a chance to back out should he regret ever going after him. and maybe minho should, cuz this was new — scary, really. it felt like he was stepping onto undiscovered territory, only scratching the surface but already too intrigued to walk away.
but minho's bones were vibrating with an unfamiliar buzz that only pulled him in deeper, excitement bubbling in his stomach.
minho was a douche, sure. but for some reason, he couldn't imagine crushing that tiny flame of hope that had lit up in jisung's eyes.
"maybe, yeah."
minho's throat was dry when jisung's whole demeanor visibly softened, looking down at his boots once before he met minho's eyes again.
"tomorrow at my trailer, 8pm," jisung turned away to get going but turned on his heels after another thought, the smirk now decorating his lips of the same challenging nature as always and replacing the previous vulnerability his eyes seemed to harbor.
minho clasped his hands together and ran his fingers over the same part where jisung's had lingered.
"oh and don't be late, pretty boy."
minho's been sitting in his car for the past twenty minutes, questioning all the decisions he's made that have brought him to this point. he was parked in front of jisung's trailer, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he watched the light that shone through the window at the side of the trailer.
checking the time it read five minutes before eight and minho's lungs constricted, the air around him growing thinner with each passing minute.
this was nothing more than two dudes hanging out to watch a movie together. right? then why was the thought of being under jisung's sharp gaze alone enough to have minho jumping out of his fucking skin.
"fuck it," minho muttered to himself and got out of his car, walking towards the trailer with purposeful steps and shakily knocking at the door before he could chicken out. the metal music playing inside grew quieter and minho sucked in a breath when jisung opened the door.
his hair sat disheveled on his head, as always. the black around his eyes did nothing to mask the disbelief swimming in jisung's eyes.
"didn't think you'd actually show up, lee."
minho walked up one of the little stairs, trying not to break eye contact as he looked up at jisung.
"I'm a man of my word, han."
jisung's lips stretched into a grin, stepping back to welcome minho inside with a motion of his arm.
"dare enter the freak's kingdom, then, your majesty!"
minho chuckled at jisung's dramatics, walking past him to enter the trailer. he was immediately met with a wave of weed, smoke and the musty scent of jisung's cologne.
minho didn't hate it, if anything it made the place feel lived in paired with the posters plastered all over the walls and clothes scattered across the floor. there was something homey about the weak light casting a yellow shimmer over everything.
"sorry about the mess," jisung scrambled to pick up some of the discarded clothes off the floor, throwing them into his room without another glance. he turned to minho with a bashful smile, locks lifting in the wind as he played with the rings around his fingers. "I don't have people over much, y'know."
minho waved his apology off with an awkward smile, somehow wanting to make sure that jisung knew he didn't mind.
"nah, it's cozy, actually. feels lived in."
jisung snorted at that, throwing minho a look that said as much as sure thing, buddy.
"lee 'the king' minho, always the considerate one."
minho rolled his eyes at the nickname, plopping down on the sofa with a sigh.
"drop the royalty shit, man. here I'm just, minho? I guess?" jisung followed minho's example with an ungraceful kick of his legs, their thighs touching with the limited space the sofa had to offer. "and you're-"
"the freak."
it was a fact, the role jisung had grown into — proudly, at that. and yet, minho winced at the monotony with which the word rolled off jisung's tongue.
"jisung. you're jisung." minho finished his sentence without letting jisung's interruption bother him, a finality in his voice that surprised himself.
jisung had fallen uncharacteristically silent and minho turned his head to check on the other, jisung looking down at his lap while scratching off the remaining nail polish on his nails. minho wished he had looked away when jisung's gaze settled on him, his eyes narrowed in contemplation.
minho didn't look away, he couldn't. not with the way jisung seemed to look for something in his eyes; an answer, maybe. or proof that minho was, after all, only messing with him. he didn't seem to find what he had been searching for, minho's breathing growing steadier when the corners of jisung's lips twitched into a hesitant smile.
"well, just minho. you wanna watch star wars, then?"
jisung had never said his actual name before.
minho liked it.
he really fucking liked how his name seemed to ring in his head when spoken by jisung, heart thumping in his chest. minho could only nod at jisung's question and the latter snickered at his lacking response, getting off the sofa with a hop.
jisung's curls bounced at the motion and minho wondered if they were as soft to the touch as they were to the eye.
minho shook his head with a scowl.
not what he should be thinking about right now. what he should ask himself is why he offered to watch star wars together in the first place when he knew little to nothing about the movies and would be lying if he said he held any affection for them.
the answer tickled at his conscience as he watched jisung put the tape in and return to minho with a pep in his step he hasn't gotten the chance to appreciate before.
jisung was full of life, an electric energy prickling within his aura which easily jumped over to everything in his proximity — minho felt charged at the point where their thighs touched, little sparks traveling up his body.
"ready for your world to get rocked, lee?"
part of jisung's face was illuminated by the blue light of the tv, the edges of his mirthful grin softened by the dim lighting.
"don't make any promises you can't keep."
jisung crossed one leg underneath his thigh, putting an arm on the backrest behind them and minho's gaze transfixed on the necklace hanging around jisung's neck as he leaned closer, a guitar pick dangling in the air between them.
"wouldn't dare for it, sweetheart."
jisung's warm breath hit the shell of his ear and minho felt lightheaded by the smell of weed he inhaled, eyes shooting up to see jisung watching him intently with his dark eyes.
he could see his own face reflecting in jisung's dark pupils and became shockingly late aware of their proximity, feeling jisung's rings grace his shoulder.
why didn't he push jisung away? why didn't he leave? and why, for jesus h. christ, was he so focused on that damn guitar pick of his and how the silver necklace it was attached to pooled in jisung's collarbones.
"guitar?"
minho had never sounded more stupid in his life and he almost wanted to laugh when jisung froze, taken aback by minho's sudden exclamation.
his eyes finally left minho and the latter felt like he could breathe again when jisung took the guitar pick between his fingers with an amused huff.
"you mean if I play?" minho could only nod, embarrassments flooding over him when he recalled how weak and unsure his voice sounded just now.
jisung leaned back and hummed nonchalantly as he studied minho silently. he was tracing a ringed finger over his bottom lip and eventually got up the sofa without another word. minho used the moment of peace to shrug off his jacket and maybe the heat that had settled over his body like a blanket.
he could hear jisung rummage for something in his room and a cry of victory soon after before he emerged from the bedroom with a guitar in his right hand.
"this is a privilege, lee. I don't just let anyone near my baby."
baby.
minho knew it was in association with the guitar but he felt heat boiling in the pit of his stomach nonetheless — partly because minho didn't know jisung's voice could turn so enamored, and the other reason was for his words in general.
"are you saying I'm not just anyone, han?"
minho was good at pretending jisung's words didn't affect him the slightest, or at least he thought he was. his confidence swayed with jisung sat beside him, trailing a hand over his guitar and minho's fingers itched with the need to tuck one of jisung's curls behind his ear.
jisung chuckled.
"wouldn’t wanna deprive you off such a glorious sight, pretty boy."
minho swallowed at the absurdity of his thoughts after those words left jisung's heart shaped lips; jisung had a habit of calling minho pretty boy, when it was really him who suited the endearment so much more.
sure, jisung wasn't your standard definition of pretty (whatever that was, minho didn't care), but he was. pretty, that is. maybe he was rough around the edges with his untamed hair, jewelry some people might argue as extravagant and uneven cut band shirts covering the tattoos trailing up the expanse of his forearms, hidden underneath his leather jacket.
and yet, minho couldn't take his eyes off him.
"minho?"
maybe it was the soft mention of his name, his real name, or jisung's eyes widening in blissful wonder that dripped so willingly from his eyes when minho's gaze dropped down to his lips.
jisung didn't back away but leaned towards minho tentatively, his gaze searching and wanting as he mirrored minho's own and for the first time, minho accepted the pang of his heart for what it was.
the real meaning behind his infatuation with the freak of hawkins crashed upon him like a truck, realization leaving him dizzy and he can only vaguely recall stumbling his way out of jisung's trailer with a heartbeat so skyrocketing it was panic inducing.
minho really wished he didn't remember the flash of hurt and confusion in jisung's eyes when he all but up and bolted after his revelation.
he couldn't believe he had a crush on han fucking jisung.
"okay, you have got to calm down, man-"
minho was pacing up and down in hyunjin's room, fingers entangled in his air.
"I'm freaking the fuck out how do you expect me to stay calm?!"
hyunjin groaned in exasperation as he got up his bed to stand in front of minho and keep his friend from walking holes into the floor, putting his hands on his shoulders.
the gesture was grounding, but minho's mind was still running a mile.
"now, tell me exactly what happened."
if only minho knew. his first instinct was to confide in his best friend after what happened, his mind playing the incident on loop since minho ran out of jisung's trailer. but now with hyunjin in front of him it was a lot harder to get out the words he wanted to say with the origin of his actions still gaping like an open wound.
"I was with jisung," hyunjin's eyebrows shot up in surprise, questions already forming from his mouth but minho shook his head so his hair fell over his eyes and his friend fell silent at the sheer anguish plastered over minho's face.
"I- I don't know how it happened. one moment we were sitting on his sofa, about to watch star wars together-"
"since when do you like star wars?"
"not the point, man,"
hyunjin threw his hands up in quick surrender and urged minho to go on with a muttered apology.
"and the next thing I know is his arm around me, well not around me per se but behind me on the backrest like fucking close enough-"
"minho."
"shit, sorry. he was just so close and kept on calling me sweetheart and I thought how he was really pretty, y'know for-"
"a boy?"
minho had long turned away from his friend during his rant and only now, after hearing hyunjin's quiet question, did he meet his eyes and was met with the reflected sympathy he so feared.
minho was sure his friend had already figured out why he was losing his mind, but minho forced his next words out nonetheless — the effort it took him to actually say what he had felt back in jisung's trailer like a necessary evil minho had no choice but to overcome to truly admit it to himself.
"I wanted to kiss him, hyunjin."
shame and desperation rose in minho's body at the confession, their impact leaving him swaying on his feet and he sat down on hyunjin's bed with his head in his hands.
saying it made it real. this was fucking real.
minho felt the bed dip beside him and rested his head on hyunjin's shoulder with a sigh, slumping his entire body weight against the other as he shut his eyes in exhaustion. hyunjin intertwined their hands and on a rare occasion, minho let him.
hyunjin's scent was familiar — light and safe. jisung's was, well jisung. it was dangerous and new and so tempting.
minho's heart constricted in his chest when jisung's face flashed behind his closed eyelids so he opened them quickly.
"is that so bad?"
minho lifted his head, shooting his friend an incredulous look.
"how can it not be? I'm not supposed to feel that for-" minho broke off, words stuck in his throat.
hyunjin squeezed his hand, silently encouraging his friend to go on.
"for another boy."
because that was really what was scaring minho the most. not the fact that it was jisung, the freak of hawkins who turned his world upside down but that the fact that jisung was a boy and minho himself was, very much, a boy as well.
they said nothing for awhile and minho basked in the silence, grateful to let his thoughts rest for a moment in the comfort of his best friend.
there wasn't much hyunjin could've said, really. minho knew that, so he didn't expect his friend to somehow solve his crisis. it's not like it was any different for hyunjin, and maybe that's exactly why minho felt at ease despite his situation.
hyunjin, better than anyone else probably, knew what he was going through without having to say it out loud. minho supposed it was the reminder that he wasn't alone with this that consoled him enough.
"how did you accept it?"
minho looked up to his friend and saw him staring at their hands in deep thought, eventually meeting minho's eyes with a small smile curling his lips.
"I'm not sure I actually have, yet. but chan makes it easier, I guess?"
minho thought of jisung.
in a way, he didn't run because of him. he ran because he got scared shitless by how little he cared at that moment whether jisung was a boy or a girl and all he saw was his lips.
those stupid, heart shaped lips and the consequences that would've occurred if minho had given into his desire.
"what do you mean?"
hyunjin gaze was heavy with the adoration you could only have for someone you're fond of when he looked away and normally minho would've teased his friend for his lovestruck expression, but this felt too intimate — too important for minho to ruin it.
"when I'm with chan, that's all there is. just him and me. it's harder to wonder whether what you're doing is right or wrong when you're with the person who just makes it feel-"
hyunjin paused as he searched for a fitting word, minho's heartbeat strumming in his throat.
"right?"
hyunjin swallowed, his hesitant nod growing stronger with conviction the longer he let minho's words wash over him.
"how do I know if it's right?" minho breathed, this time completely turning his body to face his best friend. hyunjin shrugged, moving to sit cross-legged across minho.
"I'm afraid you just gotta go for it, man."
minho's back hit hyunjin's mattress as he rubbed his face with a pained laugh.
"I really fucking hoped you wouldn't say that."
hyunjin fell into place next to minho and locked their hands once more. again, minho let him. his friend needed the comfort as much he did.
minho rubbed his sweaty palms on the seams of his jeans as he was leaning against the wall, eyes fixed on the door in front of him.
it was quiet in the deserted halls of hawkins' high, the sun having set hours ago and minho's mind was busy playing endless scenarios of how this could go. it was nerve-wracking with the occasional screams and noises minho could hear from the other side of the door, jisung's hellfire club probably deep in another campaign of dungeons and dragons (minho made best efforts to get it right this time with jisung's voice ringing in his head).
every sound had minho on edge and he wondered with growing impatience how long a game of dungeons and dragons could possibly last.
apparently, the universe took pity on him because the door opened with a screech and minho snapped his head up to see the members of hellfire leave the classroom one after another, heart rate increasing as his eyes searched for a disheveled mane of blue among them.
his heart sank when he couldn't find jisung, quickly scrambling into motion when he made eye contact with chan who subtly signaled behind him.
minho thanked him with a curt nod of his head, his legs already making their way to the door. his footsteps were heavy with impending doom coiling in the pits of his stomach, weighing him down.
jisung appeared in minho's field of vision and his heart soared at the sight of the man, feet plastered to the ground as he stood in the doorframe and took in the sight in front of him.
his messy bangs were held back by a black bandana, revealing his face and minho could hear his rings clinking against whatever utensil they had required for dungeons and dragons as he put them away.
apparently jisung could feel minho's eyes on him and looked up briefly, gaze setting on minho and he could see jisung's eyes mirroring surprise for a moment before his expression turned indifferent, resuming the task at hand.
"here to ogle at the freak, lee?"
that snapped minho out of his temporary trance and he fully entered the room, bracing himself for what was about to come.
"no-" jisung laughed, a sound void of his usual humor. "oh why not? your majesty seemed to enjoy the sight of me last time." minho scrunched his nose at the sarcasm dripping from jisung's voice, willing himself to block out whatever the other threw at him.
he deserved it, he supposed.
"I wanted to explain."
jisung put one of the figurines down with a bit more force than needed, putting his hands on the edge of the table to lean against it and look at minho.
after awhile he dropped his gaze.
"save it, man. it's nothing I'm not used to."
minho wanted to reach out to jisung, anything to get rid off the indifference on his face and forget the confession that pierced through his heart.
"I never meant to hurt you, or lead you on-"
"lead me on, huh?" jisung scoffed and minho wished he didn't speak when the other approached him with tamed anger broodling in his eyes.
"do you know why I'm called the freak of hawkins, lee? why I'm the outcast of this god forsaken town?"
jisung looked at minho like he was only waiting for him to insult him, desperately needing minho to laugh in his face and throw slurs at him because he didn't believe that there could ever be any other outcome.
minho held jisung's challenging gaze, his mask slowly breaking the longer the silence prolonged for. eventually, jisung turned away and minho wasn't sure he would've had the guts to reach out for him again if it hadn't been for the tears he caught welling up in his eyes.
he couldn't leave him dealing with his anguish alone, not again.
jisung tried to fight against minho's grip on him, shaking off his hands but minho was persistent and so were his arms that slowly raked around jisung's smaller frame as he pulled him flush against him, jisung's back hitting his chest.
jisung froze when minho hooked his chin over his shoulder, growing limp in his arms and minho turned his head slightly to bury his nose in the crook of jisung's neck as he slowly trailed his hands down jisung's arms and intertwined their hands in front of jisung's chest — taking one selfish moment to marvel at the sight of jisung's ringed fingers overlapping with his own and the contrast of the black ink of jisung's tattoos to his bare arms.
he could feel jisung's heart beating strongly through his ribcage, in rhythm with his own.
"maybe I'm a freak as well, han."
goosebumps rose over jisung's body as minho's warm breath hit his neck and minho decided that it was a lot easier for him to pour his heart out when jisung's earnest eyes weren't fixed on him.
the guitar pick from jisung's necklace graced his knuckles and brought him back to that evening, pulling back to walk around jisung until they were face to face.
minho's breath stocked at the stray tear running down his cheek, leaning down to kiss along the wet trail and jisung's blown eyes softened unmistakably, dropping to his lips when minho licked over the traces of salty tears.
the corners of minho's mouth twitched into a hesitant smile.
"jisung-"
before minho could finish his sentence, jisung pushed his hands away and took several steps back with a wet sob threatening to spill over his lips.
"you don't get to look at me like that, lee. you don't get to say my name like you care- fuck," jisung viciously rubbed at his eyes, drying any evident tears.
desperation gnawed on minho's bones, backing jisung against the desk.
"but I do care. shit, jisung. I-" jisung winced, putting his hands on minho's chest but making little effort to actually push him away.
minho put his hands on each side of jisung, caging him inbetween his arms and leaning forward until their breaths mingled together.
"I like you. I really, fucking like you. that's why I ran, 'cuz I got scared shitless by how much I wanted you."
minho let the rest of his sentence hang in the air, watching how several different emotions flew past jisung's eyes until his gaze dropped lower and heat erupted in minho's stomach when hunger settled in jisung's eyes.
"are you still scared?"
jisung's voice was rough from the tears, minho watching his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed and his tongue poked out to wet his heart shaped lips.
in that moment minho decided that he couldn't be scared of anything that had the shape of a fucking heart, so he dived down and captured jisung's lips in a tender kiss.
jisung's hands were immediately in his hair, calloused fingers trailing lower to place them on minho's cheeks and minho wanted to cry at the gentle gesture as he sunk into the taste that was jisung and prodded his tongue at his lips to ask for entrance.
jisung complied with a moan that riverated through minho's body, lifting all the little hairs on his body like he had been electrically charged.
their tongues resolved the tension they couldn't name, jisung sucking minho's bottom lip between his teeth and minho bucked his hips when jisung breathed hot into his mouth the deeper and messier their kiss got.
jisung let his head fall into his neck when minho began to trail kisses along his jawline, a high shooting through him when he inhaled jisung's scent and he let his head fall on his shoulder with a groan.
"fuck, how do you smell so good?"
a breathy laugh escaped jisung's spit-slick lips and minho indulged in their taste one more time at the tempting sight, feeling jisung smile into the kiss and minho's heart leaped up to his throat when he leaned back to take jisung's beauty in.
his lips were slick with their saliva, a blush that wasn't there before had creeped up jisung's neck and his eyes were blown wide with a sated smirk curling at his lips.
minho kissed him again when the metal of his lip ring seemed to call out to him after jisung had wet his lips once more, pressing several more and soft kisses on his lips.
jisung looked at him like he hung the fucking moon in the sky and minho swayed on his feet for a moment, dizzy with the shameless expression of affection and mutual want.
"I like you, too, y'know," jisung's voice was quiet but there was a relief and lightness to his voice now that had minho's heart ache. "I've kind of had this major crush on you since junior year."
another kiss on heart shaped lips.
"I'm sorry it took me this long to see you."
fast forward to present day ::
"don't run away again, sweetheart."
minho rolled his eyes fondly, eventually fluttering them shut before he felt the cold metal of jisung's rings grace his face ever so gently and let himself be carried away by the hurricane that was han 'the freak' jisung — his boyfriend.
they really were both freaks, but minho didn't mind.