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Done with Love

Summary:

Carole didn’t want to be one of those widows who only thought about her husband. About her grief. She wanted to move on from that. Not that it involved moving on. She had love in her life, she didn’t need anyone else. Never did. She knows if the inverse had happened Goose wouldn’t need anyone else either… well except…

 

Maverick.

 

Pre-canon Top Gun Maverick fic dealing with Carole and Maverick and the love they have for each other.

Notes:

Carole Bradshaw is queen and I wanted to write a little something from her pov.

For the best reading pleasure please listen to Zedd's Done with Love, while reading. ( I wrote the whole fic while listening to this on loop)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjsjIkSb0cM

Work Text:

It had been four months since her husband had passed on. Most days Carole was able to power on through just fine. Having Bradley to care for made things easy. It’s not like she had to be away from him besides when he had to be at preschool.

She could focus on taking care of him, making sure things were alright with him. It was easier to support him, his confusion about his father’s death than the death of her husband. Not that she avoided talking about Goose when Bradley asked, but she never brought him up on her own.

It’s not like she didn’t have support, Goose’s parents were always willing to help, along with her own. They offered her comfort, a place to go for love. And she appreciated it, she really did…

But…

Did she need it? She had her son. She didn’t need to reflect on the past too much. He was gone, why think about it all the time?

Carole didn’t want to be one of those widows who only thought about her husband. About her grief. She wanted to move on from that. Not that it involved moving on. She had love in her life, she didn’t need anyone else. Never did. She knows if the inverse had happened Goose wouldn’t need anyone else either… well except…

Maverick.

He had been their love. The only other person they both loved. But as much as Carole didn’t want to admit it, reaching out was hard. She didn’t know how their dynamic would work now it was just them. What if Maverick found someone else, would she not be seen as important. She knows that Maverick would support Bradley, but beyond that…

She sighed, maybe, maybe she should tell him that it is over. That they are just friends now. That she doesn’t need his love, that she was fine.

The phone rang more times than she was used to from Maverick. Not that being in the navy meant he was easy to reach. But they had exchanged letters and agreed at this time. Him not picking up at once was, different.

Even his tone was hesitant. “Maverick Mitchell.”

“Pete, sweetie,” Carole said trying to sound cheerful, but he didn’t buy it.

“... Carole, what’s wrong?” Maverick asked, his voice surprisingly soft.

“What,” Carole started to chuckle, “What makes you think that anything is wrong, Maverick?”

“You wanted to talk on the phone,” Maverick said flatly, “ you wouldn’t want to do that unless it is serious.”

Carole sighed, taking a deep breath in and out before speaking, “I just wanted to let you know you don’t owe me anything, Pete.”

There was a moment of stunned silence on the other line, “What do you mean?”

“Things… things have changed since Goose died, and… I know you were only in this relationship because of him.” Carole spoke slowly.

“That’s not-” Maverick started but Carole spoke over him, not in a loud tone but in a tone that made it seem like the words had to be set free before they were locked behind her fear.

“Maverick, I just… I don’t think love is for me anymore.”

“Carole…”

“I do still care for you, and this doesn’t mean you can’t see Bradley. You will always be his dad, I just…” Carole breathed out through her nose, her tone calmer again. Like she was reading off a script. “I feel like I am holding you back.”

Maverick sounded shocked, “You-?”

“You have a chance for love, real love. What we have will just mess it up.”

“That’s not true. I could make it work. Please Carole, I-”

“I have to go now Maverick.” She said, while not at all true, she just couldn’t handle his voice, he sounded like he was about to cry. “I will talk to you later okay?”

And she hung up the phone before he could answer, because she had begun to cry.

At that moment Bradley come out of the bathroom, shaking his hands dry, even though there were bits of soap bubbles flying all over the place. He was giggling while doing so, but then frowned when he looked up at his mom to see her tears.

“Ma, you’re sad.” Not a question at all from her son, but a statement. A very true one. “What’s wrong?” Now a question.

Carole looked down at her son, and it was hard to stay sad for long. Despite everything her son was safe and would always be safe. Even if Goose wasn’t here, she could make sure Bradley was safe. For him. “Nothing my little gosling.” She picked him up, wiping away her tears with one hand for only a moment. “I will be fine.”

“Who was on da phone?” Bradley asked.

“Ah, It was Maverick,” Carole said trying to hide her nervousness.

Bradley however was beaming, “Mav! Is Maveric’ comin’ to visit soon?”

“Probably not soon.” Carole said, she would have to set that up with him soon, she doesn’t know if she could handle watching her son look that sad again, “But we can ask him to visit soon, okay?”

With that Bradley was calmed and happy and they went about their day. Carole wanted to say she was barely thinking about Maverick, but how could she not? She just didn’t see any point in holding back the young pilot, now that he was back up in the air.

Everything was fine until she was putting Bradley down to bed, and he asked her to sing. He didn’t ask for great balls of fire or a lullaby, like he normally did. No, he asked for a song that Maverick had sung last time he was here. (not well, but to his credit, he was getting better)

By the time she had closed the door behind her, Carole was in tears. She really did care about him, but it was all so hard. He was her best friend, it wasn’t supposed to be this complex.

She started thinking about all their times together, remembering when Maverick first road up on his motorcycle… In fact, she could still hear the engine in her mind.

Wait… she could hear it. Carole blinked, the sound that was the roar of the engine fading out, followed by the muffled sound of rushed footsteps, and a loud knock on the door.

“Carole?”

Carole was already halfway down the stairs when she heard the voice from the other side of the door. She was going to open it; when it actually swung open. Maverick Mitchell had his key in his hand, but that was quickly stored away.

She didn’t know how Maverick had crossed the room so fast, but all she knows is that she blinked and she was suddenly in Maverick’s caring and strong embrace.

“You don’t owe me anything Carole, but I need you to know… this is real love, okay. I love you.” He spoke softly, but still very sure of himself, like he had been practicing what to say in what Carole was sure was a wild plane ride then bike ride over here.

She had gasped in surprise but stayed still, “Maverick.”

Maverick pulled back from the embrace but was still close, “If you need me to go then say so, but I… I want you to know that even if you ever want to have the same love you had with Goose… this love we have, it’s real to me, and…” Maverick swallowed, “It breaks my heart to think you are done with love. You deserve to be loved, Carole. Even if it is from m-”

Carole couldn’t take it any longer and threw her arms around Maverick, “I am sorry.” She said, tears running down her face, “Your love was never lesser to me Pete, it always meant-”

“Right…I, I know. Sorry.” Maverick said softly, cradling her head as she sobbed into his shoulder, “It’s just been-”

“-Hard. It’s been so hard without him.” She finally admitted him and herself. “I wish I didn’t miss him so much. I don’t want to be one of those women who is always sad about her husband passing.”

“You won’t always be,” Maverick said as Carole squeezed him tightly. “But you have to think about him, not just through my eyes or Bradley’s eyes, but your own.”

Maverick pulled back to kiss Carole on her forehead, “ You don’t need to struggle through things alone, even if you never want to get married again. I… I will be there if you will let me.”

He said this with a hint of nervousness in his voice, but really there was no need for it. She had already accepted him back the moment he wrapped his arms around her. Carole nodded then asked softly, “Mav?”

Maverick hummed in response and Carole smiled gently, wiping away her tears, “ Let’s just go to bed.”

He nodded, and they made their way up the stairs, only to find Bradley coming out of his bedroom. Maverick smirked, but his tone was a gentle playfulness. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep at this hour kid?”

Bradley who had been rubbing his eyes, turned to the voice and broke out into the biggest grin when he saw who it was. “Mav!”

He ran into maverick’s arms and Maverick caught him with ease and Bradley giggled, “What are you doing here?” Bradley asked as Maverick walked back to his bedroom.

“Oh, I am here for you,” Maverick said quickly. Carole smiled, glad that he was willing to hide that she was struggling.

Bradley smiled, “But I’m fine.”

“Of course you are,” Maverick smirked, “ now that I am here.” And at that Carole’s heart swelled. It’s true, things were better now Maverick was here.

Maybe opening herself up to this sort of love wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it would be the best part of her life. Maybe she wasn’t done with love after all.

And that was a good thing.