Archive of Our Own ^beta

The call hadn’t even originally been anything.

A kid had pulled the fire alarm at his school as a joke, so they just happened to be there when someone got pushed out of a window from the apartment complex next door.

Bobby called for police back-up as they rushed over to help while Chimney went to get the gurney. They’d just reached the building when Eddie noticed someone watching them from the broken window three floors up.

“Don’t you dare,” Bobby said, not even looking up at him as he kneeled down next to the groaning victim. “Let the police handle it.”

“He’s gonna get away!” Buck was already jumping from foot to foot like he was just about ready for a high speed chase.

“Bobby... They’re not going to get here in time,” Eddie agreed, listening out for the sound of footsteps coming down stairs.

“No. We don’t know how dangero-”

The door behind them burst open and Buck was violently pushed to the side as a guy lunged at the victim, trying to shove a piece of cloth into his mouth. Eddie threw himself at the assailant on instinct, knocking him to the ground with enough momentum to roll them away.

Eddie had the upper hand until the guy elbowed him in the jaw and flipped them while Eddie’s ears rang. He’d barely gotten his bearings when the cloth was pressed over his eyes, a liquid burning whitehot into them and shocking a gasp out of him.

He distantly felt the weight above him disappear but all he could focus on was the searing pain in his eyes that wouldn’t go away even after he threw the cloth off. He thought he might have gotten close to screaming when he was suddenly being dragged away.

It wasn’t until water ran over his face that he understood that he’d been brought over to the firetruck for someone to clean the product from his eyes.

The neverending burning sensation didn’t subside and he couldn’t catch his breath against the agony that came with it. There was chaos around him, but none of it reached him as he desperately tried to open his eyes under the water, knowing it was necessary to avoid any long-lasting damage.

The realization that they were already open locked up his spine. He couldn’t see.

“I can’t see,” he might have said before he unconsciously shut his eyes against the icy darkness.

He couldn’t hear anything beyond the roiling whir of terror in his head and he hardly felt himself get moved, but he figured that was happening when his world tilted and the ground disappeared out from under him.

He thought he could feel fingers around his so he squeezed them with a lack of strength that worried him. He was in shock, that much was clear, but the adrenaline wasn’t dulling out either the pain or the panic.

Eddie wondered if he was missing bits of time as different sounds reached his ears between each labored breath. He was pretty sure they were somehow already at the hospital, its familiar smell registering in the back of his mind. His main association with hospitals had always been the unnaturally bright lights but he couldn’t find those, not even a faded background glow.

Everything got slow after that, distorted through brief moments of foggy lucidity and blankness until that was all that was left.

Coming to what could have been seconds or days later made nausea spike through him, filling his mouth with bile as he faced the memory that he hadn’t been able to see then and he still couldn’t now. It took him a while to realize that it was gauze blocking his view, forcing his eyes shut.

The noises around him took a bit longer to start clicking into place, voices and words he knew were for him that he could only catch snippets of.

Buck. Buck was there. Eddie could hear him talking, he sounded upset and stuffy like he’d been crying, or maybe he still was. There were warm hands on his cheeks that felt grounding, the touch helping him find his way out from under his own panic.

“Eddie? Eddie, can you hear me?”

Buck’s voice was so soft and so close to broken. Eddie uselessly tried to open his eyes again before he turned his head toward the sound instead.

“Yeah,” he tried, having to clear his throat before making a second attempt. “Yeah, I can hear you, Buck.”

Buck inhaled shakily next to him but any relief in it was outweighed by the same fear that Eddie was drowning in.

“Do you remember what happened?” That was Chimney. He sounded stuffy, too.

“I’m assuming you’re referring to the guy who gave me a chemical burn facial?”

The room went silent, the tension evidently too taut to handle him making light of the situation.

Buck was the first to break it, one of the hands on Eddie’s face moving up to his hair with it. “He’s been arrested, and we cleaned most of the chemicals out, so any effects will only be temporary, but- y-your sight might still take a few days to fully come back.”

Eddie nodded even though it was making his head hurt, but that might have been the cold rush of despair shuddering through him.

“How long?” he heard himself ask, delayed to his mind as it worked through the new reality.

Chimney answered when Eddie heard Buck’s breath hitch. “We can’t know for sure. It could take a week. Maybe two.”

“When can I go hom-” Eddie’s own exhale stuttered. “Christopher will need help while I’m...” He couldn’t finish the sentence, grateful when Buck jumped in again.

“They want to keep you here overnight, just in case, and Christopher is with Carla. If you’re alright with it, they have a double sleepover planned with Denny, so he’d stay with the Wilsons for a couple nights.”

“Of course, yeah, I don’t think I could handle him seeing me like this just yet,” Eddie mumbled, leaning back against the pillow, like maybe that would ease the heartburn that had nothing to do with his injury.

“And I’ll be taking you home tomorrow and staying at the house with you guys, if you’ll have me,” Buck continued, fingers petting through Eddie’s hair.

“I figured you staying with us was a given,” Eddie answered, wondering if he was directing his smile in the right direction. Buck’s hand was trembling when Eddie reached up to hold it, resting them together over his chest.

“Do you need anything?” Chimney asked followed by the sound of a chair scraping across linoleum. Eddie knew an excuse to leave the room when he heard it.

“Something sweet, please. Wanna see if my taste buds have improved.”

“You got it,” Chimney said, already moving.

The silence that fell then seemed infinite. “Was he uncomfortable or did he just want to give us some space to discuss cohabitation?”

Buck let out a choked laugh. “Don’t tell him I said this, but I think he just wanted an excuse to go raid the gift shop.”

Eddie wanted to find the humor in that, but the unspoken felt heavy over them. “He was about to cry, wasn’t he?”

Buck’s fingers twitched between Eddie’s. “Yeah. There was some intense chin vibrating going on.”

“Please don’t leave,” Eddie blurted out, suddenly worried Buck might feel the need to do the same for his sake. “Even if you need to have a little cry, too.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already had Bobby talk the nurses into letting me stay overnight.”

Eddie was relieved to hear the smile in Buck’s words even if they came out pained.

“What happened to the victim? Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he’s gonna be okay. Just a bit of a sore throat, a couple broken bones, and a lot of gratitude.”

“Does he know why he was pushed out a window?”

Before Buck could answer, there was the sound of approaching footsteps and the door opening, only noticeable from the rush of air.

“How are you doing, Mr. Diaz?”

“We don’t need to do this. Please, just tell me.”

“Your eyes will be fine. The damage is temporary and you’re expected to make a full recovery. But, as I’m sure you’ve already been told, it might take some time. We can’t say for certain, but if all goes well with the healing process, you should be back to normal within the week. Two at most, but I doubt that will be the case.”

Eddie locked his fingers with Buck’s, pressing them over his heart, the beat of it matching the one he could feel through Buck’s wrist.

The doctor continued and Eddie wondered if the smile he could hear was genuine. “You’ve got quite the entourage here. I can imagine that they’ll make sure you get through this with minimal pain, physical or psychological. Under normal circumstances, I would have suggested that you have a nurse stay with you, but I have a feeling you’ve already got that covered.”

“The perks of everyone in my life having medical training,” Eddie said, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat.

“What do we need to do?” Buck asked then, voice still shaky.

“Keep the gauze on for the first four days, you’ll need to change-”

Eddie stopped paying attention after that, focus drained out of him. He let his head loll towards Buck again, seeking out his presence like he always did when the darkness felt like too much, and this was about as dark as it could get.

He fell asleep at some point, the names of the chemicals that were burned into his vision blurring away along with his consciousness.

Buck’s hand was still in his when he woke up and, for a moment, Eddie thought he was dreaming before reality slammed into him all over again. He must have made a noise because suddenly Buck was closer, warmth and worry tangible.

“Hey, Eddie, I’m here. You’re okay.”

“Being blind is going to suck.”

Buck tried to laugh but it cracked on an inhale. “Good thing I’ll be around then.’

“It is. I don’t know if I could do this without you.”

“Ah, well, don’t sell yourself short. But thank you for letting me help. You’re going to get through this and you’ll be rolling your eyes at me again before you know it. You’re going to ace the healing thing and pass every vision test with flying colors.”

“I miss colors already.”

Buck’s laugh was a little less teary that time but it still faltered at the end. Eddie would have given anything to be able to see him, to feel the comfort that always came with looking over to find Buck’s smile already greeting him. Eddie was lost without it, far more than he was without colors.

“Chimney brought you an entire vending machine’s worth of snacks. What’s your poison?”

“I’m, uh, not particularly hungry. But can we bring them home with us?”

“Obviously. But don’t think I’m letting you get away with not eating. The hospital sludge looks particularly deliciously gray today.”

Eddie laughed quietly, wondering if he could get away with asking Buck to touch his face again to help ground him, to bring him down from the place he couldn’t escape in his own mind.

There was another rush of air from someone coming into the room. Eddie somehow knew it was Bobby before he heard him sit in Chimney’s unoccupied chair.

Eddie reached out his other hand towards the noise, smiling when Bobby grabbed it in both of his.

“I’m not going to ask how you’re doing, because I know you hate that.” Buck snorted from next to them. “But I just need you to know that if you need anything at all, you just have to ask. I’d do anything for you.”

Eddie squeezed Bobby’s hand with a smile he hoped he was aiming the right way.

“I do know that, and you have no idea how much it means to me. This is gonna be shitty, yeah, but I’m very loved, you see, so I know I’m gonna be fine.”

Bobby chuckled and the sound was calming even if Eddie could feel the tremble in Bobby’s fingers intertwined with his own. The same as Buck’s.

“We can only be in here two at a time, that’s the only reason you’re not being smothered with more of that love right now. Realistically, it’s only one at a time, but Buck here refuses to give up his spot.”

“Christopher wouldn’t allow anything else. I’m on lookout duty until he can take over.” Eddie could almost hear the pout in Buck’s voice. He could hear the smile in Bobby’s when he said something about favoritism.

Eddie fell asleep again to the soothing sounds of Bobby and Buck planning out a care schedule for him. They clearly didn’t need his input anyway which Eddie was more than happy to accommodate.

The next time he woke up, Buck was still at his side, snoring softly and halfway slumped on the bed. His face was pressed against Eddie’s shoulder, arm thrown across Eddie’s chest, the weight of it anchoring when Eddie felt his stomach drop with realization again. The world was pitch black as he remembered that it would stay that way even if he could open his eyes.

There were fingers wrapped around Eddie’s wrist on his other side, grip loose with sleep, matching the slightly louder snoring. Athena. The only other person who would have been allowed to stay past visiting hours.

Eddie hissed when his eyes started tearing up, the sting of it burning tenfold and inescapable as he turned his head away like that could help.

“Eddie?” Athena whispered, hand tightening around his wrist.

Buck jolted awake, immediately reaching out to cup Eddie’s face. “Wha’s wrong?”

The tenderness just made Eddie tear up some more, which wasn’t helping matters.

“Can’t even fucking cry without it hurting,” he breathed out, trying to end it on a laugh that sounded strained.

Hearing Buck’s muted hiccup next to him made Eddie’s heart ache. He hated that he couldn’t check on him the way he wanted to. All Eddie could do was lean into Buck’s palm.

“We questioned the bastard who did this to you,” Athena started, voice quiet like she didn’t want to startle them. “He was trying to silence the victim, and, when pushing him out the window didn’t work, he thought burning his tongue would stop him from talking. According to him it was meant to be symbolic, but I’m pretty sure the moron just didn’t think any of it through.”

Eddie frowned. That hurt, too. “Silencing him? Was he a witness or something?”

“Is this a mob thing?” Buck asked before Athena could speak, breath audibly freezing in his throat as his joke landed on the plausible. “That sounds like what you do to a snitch.”

Eddie thought he heard Athena shake her head before answering. “No, just a dysfunctional family with violent tendencies.”

“Will they come after any of us for getting the guy arrested?”

“Again, not the mob. But we’ll be keeping an eye on you and the victim anyway. If they were willing to hurt someone to keep their secrets then we can never be too careful. They don’t have enough of a reach to get their boy out of custody which probably means they don’t have the resources to go after any third parties.”

“You giving us a police escort, Athena?” Eddie asked with a grin that actually felt genuine.

“I’d be tailing you myself if I could. I don’t trust the cops any more than you do and I’m one of them.”

Eddie smiled, hearing Buck laugh in surprise right next to him as he leaned into Eddie again.

“But I know I can trust the 118 to take good care of you, especially Buck since he’ll obviously be with you the entire time.”

“Never letting you out of my sight,” Buck said with what sounded like a firm nod.

“I wish I had sight,” Eddie joked, grin growing when Buck made a guilty but amused noise.

“I better watch what I say.” Eddie could hear the smile in Buck’s voice again.

“Yeah, you should really look into it.”

“Visibility isn’t looking great on that, I don’t see that happening.”

Athena sighed next to them. “Alright, boys. Enough with the puns, Eddie needs some shut-eye.”

Eddie burst out laughing right as Buck did.

Athena squeezed Eddie’s wrist before leaning in to kiss his forehead, staying there for a second with her hand on his cheek.

“I’m only a call away, okay?”

“Thank you, Athena. For everything.”

“You know we’d do anything for you. All of us.”

Eddie smiled, the echo of Bobby’s words before her just as comforting as he turned into her palm. “Yeah, I really do.”

Athena kissed his forehead one last time before leaving the room.

Buck settled back against him, head returning to Eddie’s shoulder, arm back over his chest. Eddie couldn’t help but nudge closer, tilting his face until he could hide his nose in Buck’s hair.

They went back and forth whispering about any banal thing they could think of, a welcome distraction giving themselves just a moment to pretend everything was normal. Buck fell asleep first, leftover tension draining away as his breathing evened out, falling out of sync with Eddie’s.

Eddie had no way of knowing what time it was, that was strangely one of the most disconcerting and disorienting aspects about the whole experience, not being able to check the light level or even look at his phone’s clock.

No matter how exhausted he was, his body wouldn’t allow him the peace of sleeping through some of the anguish.

Eventually he must have passed out, because the next thing he knew he was being unhooked from the machines around him. He didn’t panic about not being able to see that time, consciousness evidently starting to adapt, but he did reach out for Buck immediately, relief settling his thoughts when Buck’s hand found his right away.

“I’m here. I got you.”

“Mister Diaz, you’re a lucky man, we’re sending you home with plenty of qualified personal firefighters.” It was the doctor from the day before, Eddie felt him awkwardly pat his arm. “You’ll be well taken care of and I’ll see you back here in three days, okay?”

Eddie nodded and held back his joke about not seeing anything, but he heard Buck make a little amused sound next to him.

Once the doctor left the room, Buck helped Eddie sit up, guiding him to the edge of the bed.

“Hen’s gonna bring Christopher home tomorrow morning,” Buck started, like he knew that Eddie had been about to ask. “That way you can get used to being around the house without your sight. Plus, apparently they have a long term board game going that they don’t want to abandon.”

Eddie’s chest felt tight. He knew it was for the best that Christopher didn’t see him in this state, granting both of them some time to adapt, but that didn’t stop it from hurting.

“I’m gonna help you get dressed, yeah?” Buck went on, probably sensing Eddie’s growing sorrow. “Christopher picked these out specifically for you before going over to Denny’s. He insisted.”

Buck grabbed Eddie’s hand to let him feel his favorite pajama pants and what was probably the well-worn ‘sunshine’ gym shirt that was definitely Buck’s before he’d accidentally left it at the house and Eddie had started wearing it to bed.

Eddie hoped that the bandages covered enough of his face that Buck wouldn’t see his silly blush as he stood up and undid his hospital gown. He felt weirdly vulnerable as Buck pulled it all the way off, leaving him in the hospital-borrowed boxers he hadn’t put on himself.

He trusted Buck with everything, every single part of him, but he definitely wasn’t used to needing help for something as mundane as getting dressed. Which, to be fair, he probably could have done on his own, but they both knew he wasn’t entirely steady on his feet without his vision. They’d found that out during the night when Eddie had fallen getting to the bathroom.

Eddie jumped when Buck tapped his calf to get him to raise his foot so Buck could slide the pants up his legs. Eddie reached out to grip Buck’s shoulder for balance, missing and thumbing him in the throat instead, laughing when Buck made a dramatic choking noise.

“Can you put your arms up for me?” Buck asked, voice soft like he knew exactly what Eddie was feeling behind the easy humor between them.

“What, are we at a concert?”

Buck laughed, his warmth moving closer as he pulled the shirt down, knuckles brushing Eddie’s sides.

“Is this my shir-”

“No. Yes. Finders keepers, you sacrificed it to the house.”

Eddie could have sworn he heard Buck grin. “It looks cute on you, sunshine.”

Eddie huffed in embarrassment and stepped into the shoes Buck nudged against his toes.

He insisted on walking out of the hospital instead of getting into his allotted wheelchair, mumbling something about having Buck to support him.

Unsurprisingly, Buck was really good at being his guide. He always made sure to keep Eddie up to date with what was in front of them and how much further they had to go in feet so Eddie could envision it.

Buck also didn’t try and do everything for him, just opening the car door and letting Eddie get seated and buckled in on his own, which honestly felt like a minor victory, one Buck had absolutely orchestrated.

“Do we already have the police escort?” Eddie asked as Buck got on the road.

Buck laughed. “Yeah, there’s a nondescript black car following us.”

“Damn, Athena works fast.”

“It’s the whole caring about us thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was hiding in the trunk right now.”

Eddie grinned, pretending to look behind him like he was checking the backseat to make Buck laugh again.

“Oh, by the way,” Buck started like he’d just remembered something, “Denny helped Christopher download a bunch of audiobooks to keep you entertained while you’re stuck at home. I’ve made sure to add a few of my own so that your options aren’t entirely intended for ages 8 through 12.”

“Are you going to make me listen to philosophy books?” Eddie asked, smiling in Buck’s direction.

Buck laughed. “I went for a more jovial selection. Figured you wouldn’t want to get too existential during your recovery.”

Humming, Eddie automatically reached for the console to put some music on only to remember that he wouldn’t be able to work the touchscreen. Actual buttons would have been more manageable but apparently that was just him being archaic.

“You can always ask Hildy to play som-”

“Be nice or I’m going to provide the music myself, singing, percussion, and all.”

Buck laughed, waiting until they were, presumably, at a red light before taking Eddie’s hand and helping his finger touch the right buttons until a song started playing. Eddie recognized it right away, it was Buck’s favorite one from a playlist Eddie had made him the previous summer for their amusement park roadtrip.

“You still listen to this?”

“Of course I do. I teased you for being old school but I meant it when I told you that I found it very sweet. Plus, you’re really good at finding me new music to enjoy.”

Eddie made a smug noise. “Told you. But I’ll be honest, a lot of them were chosen by Christopher, he has better taste in music than I do.”

“I know. He sent me a color-coded track list that exposed your suggestions.”

Snorting, Eddie let his head lull towards the window, a giddy smile tugging at his lips that dimmed when he realized he couldn’t actually see the city moving around them.

“Could you help me text Frank when we get home? I wanna set up an extra session this week.”

“Yeah, of course,” Buck answered, reaching over to squeeze Eddie’s leg comfortingly. “We’re almost there.”

Eddie managed to get out of the car on his own before Buck could rush over to open his door, but Eddie did still need help walking up to the house, insisting he carry his own bag to compensate.

“Did the cops get a good parking spot?”

Buck laughed as he closed the door. “Yeah, it looks like they’re only blocking one driveway. I’m sure the HOA will love that.”

Eddie chuckled, listening out for the sound of Buck locking the door.

“Bobby came by this morning to toe-stub-proof as much as possible, but we’ll still need to do a few rounds around the house so you can mentally map it out and get used to the layout without your sight. I know it sucks,” Buck continued before Eddie could comment on how much it did indeed suck. “But we’ll make it work, yeah?”

“We always do.”

Eddie dropped his bag somewhere near the kitchen table and let Buck slowly lead him through each room, pointing out and describing all the adjustments Bobby had made for him. Eddie only elbowed a doorframe once but he didn’t really mind when it meant that Buck wrapped his arms around him and made a joke about keeping all of his limbs inside the vehicle at all times as he guided Eddie to the couch and helped him get cozy.

Eddie didn’t jump when he felt Buck’s hand cup his face but his inhale still got caught in his throat.

“Thank you for letting me help.”

“Thank you for offering.”

“I’m insisting, really,” Buck said with a sweet but self-deprecating laugh.

Eddie reached up to keep Buck’s hand against his cheek when he went to pull it away. “I want you here. I trust the whole team, and my family, but I wouldn’t want anyone but you for this. It’s a given, but I still want you to know that. I need you to know that.”

He heard Buck breathe in shakily before he felt him press their foreheads together.

“I’ll always be there for you.”

Eddie swallowed, words he knew he shouldn’t say sticking somewhere beneath his ribs. “Ditto. And I’m happy to hear that because I’m gonna need help showering.” Joking seemed like a safe bet, even if holding his tongue stung when all he wanted to do was spill out his heart between them. It was a painfully familiar feeling.

It took a second, but Buck laughed softly, pulling away. Eddie felt cold.

“Come on then, time to get you cleaned up. You smell like hospital.”

“So do you, dipshit,” Eddie answered automatically, relieved to hear Buck laugh properly before pulling Eddie up and holding him steady when the world tilted.

Eddie only smacked his knee once on the way and that was only because he didn’t obey when Buck told him to stay still while he went to get Eddie a new pair of boxers - which Eddie vehemently didn’t let himself think about - pressing them along with a towel into Eddie’s hands with a tut.

Buck insisted on staying in the room, but Eddie heard him turn towards the wall to give him some privacy while Eddie clumsily got undressed. He awkwardly cleared his throat once he was done, making Buck snort followed by the sound of the shower turning on.

“We’ll need to change your bandages afterwards so I don’t need to saran wrap waterproof you this time.”

“Lucky me,” Eddie mumbled, reaching his foot out until he felt the edge of the shower before stepping in with his hands up to find the wall. Buck had set the water to the perfect temperature, and Eddie knew that Buck personally liked his showers boiling hot, which meant that Buck knew Eddie’s preferences, too.

Showering blind was fine, he could find what he needed by shape and smell, and he was used to keeping his eyes closed for most of it anyway. The only difference was that he couldn’t open them again once the shampoo was rinsed away.

Getting dried was a different story. Getting dressed was an even worse story, making him groan as he reluctantly asked Buck for help when he almost fell over twice just getting his boxers on.

“Does the vertigo go away?” Eddie asked, feeling like a child when Buck did a better job patting him dry than he had, making putting his clothes on easier.

“Doctor said it could take you a few days to adapt. Your spatial awareness just needs a bit of time to recalibrate. I need to change your bandages now, okay?”

Eddie nodded, feeling around for the counter, grateful that Buck caught his arm when Eddie didn’t commit enough as he tried to jump up onto it.

“There’s no need to pout. You’re doing fine.”

Eddie nodded again, still feeling kind of lame before he was being lifted up onto the counter with a splutter.

“Sorry,” Buck said with a barely concealed laugh. “Figured you might need the boost.”

Eddie stuck his tongue out in what he hoped was the right direction. That’s where Buck’s next laugh came from at least.

“Make sure to keep your eyes closed,” Buck whispered, stepping between Eddie’s thighs, making him tense so he wouldn’t do something silly like gasp.

Buck was so careful as he unwrapped the gauze, fingers periodically touching Eddie’s face like he was checking in on him as he worked.

Buck kept warning him before he did anything, like applying the cream across his eyes and then covering them up again, touch so gentle Eddie hardly felt any pain apart from some minor stinging.

“I know you can probably do this by yourself, but I- well, I wanna help.”

“I appreciate it, all of it,” Eddie reassured, putting his hand somewhere on Buck’s chest, feeling his heartbeat jump beneath his palm.

“Time to mummy up again, champ.”

Eddie chuckled, distracted by the fingers nudging his chin up.

Getting Eddie back to the couch didn’t take as long that time, the walk there starting to feel familiar again.

“Do you need anything?” Buck asked once Eddie was settled in.

“Something to eat? Something that couldn’t be consumed by straw, if possible.”

“You got it.” Eddie could easily hear the smile in Buck’s voice again, he liked being able to do that.

Buck kept talking to him as he went to the kitchen and made him a real meal instead of just bringing him one of the snacks Chimney had ransacked from the hospital. They both knew that’s what Eddie would have done if he’d been alone.

Stomach full, Eddie fell asleep within minutes of Buck sitting down next to him, letting Eddie rest against his shoulder.

At some point, Buck made him wake up long enough to go through the whole bandaging process again before insisting they relocate to Eddie’s bedroom even though Eddie was pretty sure it was the middle of the afternoon.

Eddie didn’t know how to ask for Buck to stay with him but he didn’t have to, breathing out in relief when he felt Buck sit down against the headboard with what might have been a book. Eddie surreptitiously rolled closer, forehead lightly resting against Buck’s thigh. He smiled when Buck immediately put his arm around him and tugged him closer.

Eddie woke up when Buck got out of bed with the whispered promise that he’d be back after a shower of his own. Buck came back smelling like Eddie’s body wash even though Buck’s was in their shower. He also smelled like more food he’d evidently made.

With some grumbling, Eddie agreed to eat a little before he went back to dozing against Buck only to be kept from sleep when Buck wished him goodnight and stood up. Eddie’s mouth opened, about to ask why Buck wasn’t just sleeping there, with him, but he stopped himself, swallowing carefully as he curled around one of his pillows.

It took hours for Eddie to fall asleep again. He wasn’t a phone person but even he missed having the option to do some mindless scrolling. Waking up was worse, leaving him winded every time as nightmares faded out that he couldn’t open his eyes from.

Eventually he gave up, getting a head start on needing the bathroom by slowly making his way there, touching every piece of furniture in his room until he reached the door. He somehow forgot about the hallway shoe rack, smashing his foot into it with a grunt, needing a moment to lean against the wall while the pain subsided.

He felt stupid when he turned the bathroom light on and got confused as to why it didn’t work. Of all things, that almost made him cry. He put his hands out until he could find the sink so he could rest against it and breathe through the waves of self-pity, until he could forgive them, until he could make himself really listen instead of just dismissing them.

He felt useless. He felt like he didn’t have any control, like he was powerless and vulnerable in his own home, in his own body. He felt sorrow over all the things he couldn’t see, Christopher, Buck, his team. His hallway furniture. He felt lost and broken in a way he couldn’t hide, not even from himself.

He couldn’t even snap out of his mourning by opening his eyes and finding a distraction, he was just stuck with his own thoughts in the darkness. Washing the parts of his face he could didn’t help, brushing his teeth didn’t either. Sitting on the floor and wrapping his arms around his bent knees definitely didn’t help.

Eddie heard Buck approach before there was a tiny knock at the door.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Buck’s voice was so soft it made Eddie’s eyes sting painfully.

“Sorry I woke you up.”

“Never apologize for that, and I couldn’t sleep anyway.” It sounded like Buck had slid down the door to rest his back against it, like he was mirroring Eddie’s position.

Eddie hummed, at a loss for what else to say that wouldn’t make him shatter apart across the tile.

“What time is it?”

“Four. Um, AM.”

Eddie smiled, grateful Buck thought to add that detail since Eddie’s concept of time was well and truly fucked up.

“Is it too early to make breakfast for when Christopher comes home?” Eddie asked, going for the first thing he could think of that would comfort him. He idly wondered when cooking with Buck had become that for him.

“I can definitely think of a few time-consuming recipes. Courtesy of one Bobby Nash-Grant when he complains about never having the time to cook them between calls.” The audible smile was back, making Eddie feel lighter. “Can I come in?”

“Is it ‘cause you want to hug me?”

Buck’s subdued laugh was followed by the sound of the door opening. Buck hadn’t even stood up, he just knee-walked into the room and uncurled Eddie’s arms from around his shins so he could do the hugging instead.

Eddie didn’t even notice as the tension bled out of him through waves of gratitude, fingers gripping Buck’s shirt as he pulled him closer.

Eddie allowed himself five indulgent minutes before he leaned away and accepted Buck’s help pulling him up.

Cooking at Buck’s side without being able to see shit was really fun until it wasn’t. Eddie put his hand down wrong and knocked over all the blueberries and, surprising both of them, that made him burst into tears. He even sat on the blueberries when he kind of collapsed on the kitchen floor, Buck following him right down.

Buck immediately pulled him into his arms, just like he had in the bathroom, hand gently pressing against the back of his head to keep him close while Eddie struggled to catch his breath past the embarrassing hiccuping sobs.

“I got you. You’re okay, I got you.” Buck kept repeating those words, letting them imprint themselves into Eddie’s skin until Eddie could do nothing but believe them.

Eddie didn’t cry for very long, but they stayed there among the squished blueberries long enough that Eddie’s entire ass went numb and his limbs creaked when Buck heaved him up with a laugh.

“I think I might need some more sleep,” Eddie admitted, feeling unsteady on his feet and self-conscious.

“We can do that.”

Buck said it automatically but Eddie wanted that, for Buck to sleep at his side. Frank’s irritatingly pragmatic voice nudged at his brain.

“Can you- um, could you stay with me? In my room, I mean.”

“Of course. I was actually going to ask if I could,” Buck said with a bashful laugh. Eddie knew he was about to scratch the back of his neck so he reached out to grab Buck’s hand before he could. “Thank you for letting me.”

“We’re not doing the back and forth ‘thank you’ thing again,” Eddie joked, squeezing Buck’s wrist and smiling when it made Buck chuckle. “But for what it’s worth, thank you and you’re welcome.”

After a change of clothes for both of them with only some minor vertigo, Eddie got back into bed and smiled when Buck followed him under the blanket.

Eddie didn’t dare cuddle up the way he wanted to, but he did seek out Buck’s hand again, holding it against his chest as he settled on his side. Even without being able to see Buck, Eddie felt truly content for the first time since he’d woken up in the hospital. He felt safe.

He fell asleep within minutes, rudely interrupting Buck’s story about zebras being barcode assholes.

Waking up without his sight wasn’t too bad when he did so in Buck’s arms, having evidently done some relocating in his sleep. He was pressed all along Buck’s front, their legs tangled together. Buck was wearing socks for some reason.

“Christopher’s on his way home. The entire Wilson family is coming along, too,” Buck whispered, making Eddie wonder if Buck had gotten any sleep.

Eddie nodded against Buck’s chin, hiding his smile there and resisting the urge to burrow closer, but when he tried to roll away Buck just tightened his arms around him.

“How are you feeling?”

Eddie could only shrug, the heaviness that now came with being awake crawling back up his spine. Except Buck was already there to chase it away, to remind Eddie that he could always find the good in everything. It just so happened that Buck himself was Eddie’s good thing a lot of the time, but he was a brightness that Eddie couldn’t have, not really.

So Eddie pulled away, out of false hope’s grip until his bare feet touched the floorboards, facing away so he could breathe through the storm in his mind.

It cleared almost instantaneously when he heard laughter in the distance followed by the sound of the front door opening. Eddie’s other good thing.

“Dad?”

Eddie exhaled all at once, only just remembering that he couldn’t rush as he made his way across the room. The sound of Christopher hurrying down the hallway to him almost made his legs give out with relief. In fact, once he knew Christopher was close, he let himself fall, landing on his knees just in time to accept Christopher’s fierce hug.

The only reason Eddie didn’t start crying was because Christopher was giggling in his arms, bouncing a little.

“I missed you!”

“I missed you, too, bud. So so so so very much.”

“How many so’s?” Christopher asked with a delighted laugh as he held Eddie’s face between his tiny palms.

“So so many. Infinity.”

Christopher threw his arms around him again, almost knocking them off balance, unknowingly resetting Eddie’s entire world back onto its axis.

“Are we getting a dog? You know, the ones that help people who can’t see get around?” Christopher asked very seriously, taking Eddie by surprise. “We could get a golden retriever and call him Bucket!”

Eddie huffed as Buck burst out laughing behind him.

“I don’t think they really allow for that when it’s just temporary.”

“Oh, okay.”

Eddie could hear Christopher’s playful exaggerated pout, he knew he was doing it for show but Eddie still felt guilty. Christopher had wanted a dog since he was a toddler but they had never really been settled enough to adopt one. Eddie made a mental note to look into it since Christopher’s birthday was coming up. They weren’t going to name the dog Bucket, though.

“Also, why are there blueberries all over the kitchen floor?”

Buck snorted and Eddie smiled, pressing his face against Christopher’s hair. “That’s breakfast.”

Christopher giggled again, giving up on pulling away when Eddie wouldn’t let him. Eddie just hoped that he couldn’t feel how much Eddie was shaking.

“Good morning, boys,” Hen spoke up from somewhere in front of them. She sounded happy but Eddie could still hear the undercurrent of worry that matched what they were probably all feeling.

Even Christopher, for all his joy, was hugging Eddie so tightly he heard his glasses creak against Eddie’s cheek.

“Come on, darling, you wanna come help make breakfast that doesn’t involve floor blueberries?” Hen asked, her hand cupping Eddie’s face for a second.

“Yeah! Will you let me use the big knife?”

“Absolutely not, but I’ll hear out your arguments.”

Christopher gave Eddie’s cheek one last smacking kiss before following after Hen’s voice, clearing his throat to start stating his case on why it would be irresponsible not to let him use the chef knife.

Buck was there to pull Eddie up, he was there behind him for Eddie to rest against while he worked through the weight of reality pressing down on his chest all over again.

“That boy could not give less of a shit that you can’t see right now,” Buck started, pressing the words into the back of Eddie’s neck and splaying his fingers over Eddie’s stomach, probably knowing that was the only thing holding him up. “You’re okay, and even if you weren’t, nothing would ever change what you two have. Do you hear me? Nothing.”

Eddie nodded, relaxing in Buck’s embrace, fears he hadn’t dared voice already fading away, replaced by gratitude for the people in his life. For Christopher’s neverending kindness and Buck’s unwavering support. For the Wilsons not letting his son use the big knives.

Buck guided Eddie to the kitchen where it was loud and perfect. Everyone insisted that Eddie could help out with the cooking but no one minded when Eddie just asked to sit and listen.

Breakfast was just as perfect. Eddie only knocked over his glass twice but it was empty both times.

Buck and Christopher made sure to touch Eddie throughout the meal. Buck’s were casual and discreet, fingers trailing over his shoulder, a squeeze of his hand when it wasn’t holding the utensils Eddie felt like he was learning to use again. Christopher’s were mostly unconscious, unaware of the comfort they brought Eddie, tapping at his arm while he was excitedly telling a story, a bump of their legs, a swipe of jam across Eddie’s cheek followed by giggling.

Eddie did help with the dishes, finding it weirdly pleasant even when he had to use his fingers to tell if something was fully clean. Touching wet food wasn’t great, but it felt like a small victory nonetheless.

Hen eventually had to go to work, which was how Eddie found out that Buck had taken the entire week off and refused to listen to Eddie’s half-assed complaints about it.

Karen had set the kids up in front of a movie and Christopher and Denny were having the time of their lives describing everything that was happening so Eddie could join in. Buck would add in details that were outrageously wrong just so Christopher would correct him with a sweet exasperated laugh.

At the end of the movie, Buck and Christopher read out every single credit in overlapping rushed voices as the names scrolled by too quickly. Eddie and Karen begged them to stop but they were laughing along as the job titles got more and more obscure the further into the credits they got.

When Buck started listing out all the dubbing voice actors, Eddie moved his hand up and felt around Buck’s face until he could put it over his mouth, only for Denny and Christopher to take over.

Buck, Karen, and Eddie stayed on the couch and talked while the kids settled on the floor to draw. It all felt so wonderfully normal that Eddie found himself forgetting that he hadn’t just closed his eyes in serenity as he leaned against Buck.

That’s what made the spell breaking so painful.

“Dad! Look! I drew the firetru- Oh, wait, it’s okay you can see it when you’re all better!” Christopher said it so cheerfully, not even hesitating before going back to swapping out pens with Denny.

But Eddie felt it like a shot to the chest.

He couldn’t see his son’s drawings.

Buck and Karen had barely paused in the conversation, but Eddie could hear how strained it became, both of them obviously knowing exactly how heartbreaking the moment had been. Buck’s arm wrapped more tightly around Eddie’s waist, chin resting on his shoulder.

Eddie cleared his throat and struggled to stand up, having to accept Buck’s hand pushing him all the way up. Eddie felt Buck move to follow him but Eddie didn’t pause on his way towards the kitchen. He smashed his shin into a side table, knocking over what sounded like at least six things.

The brief silence that followed made Eddie’s mouth fill with bile but he didn’t allow himself to dwell on it, awkwardly bending down to pick up what he could find with shaky hands. Buck was immediately there to help and Eddie wanted to fucking cry.

Eddie gave up and straightened, only then he froze because he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just run away, he couldn’t just go mope in his bed and pretend that the room was just dark.

“Hey, we need to change your bandages. You wanna do that now?” Buck asked softly, hand light on the small of Eddie’s back.

“Yeah,” Eddie croaked out, letting Buck lead him away and into the bathroom.

The second the door was closed, Eddie exhaled roughly, body trembling so much he was worried he was on the verge of a panic attack. But then Buck was hugging him, wrapping him up in his arms and accepting all of his weight when Eddie thought he might have broken to pieces.

Eddie hid all of his gasping sobs against Buck’s shirt, refusing to let Christopher hear any of it, even if it meant going dizzy from the lack of air.

Buck didn’t say anything, probably knowing that no amount of reassurance could fix the pure agony Eddie was going through in devastating waves. Buck just held him and ran his fingers through his hair until Eddie could breathe again. Eddie knew that Buck was crying too and that pulled another round of tears out of him.

“I know. I know he doesn’t mind. I know that, but it doesn’t- it doesn’t make- Buck.”

“I know,” Buck whispered, pressing the words against Eddie’s temple. “I know.”

Eddie ached, every part of him burned with hopelessness he didn’t know if he could ever fight his way out of. He would, eventually, but in that moment all he could do was ache.

Eventually, Eddie didn’t think he had any tears left in him, he felt drained down to his bones, weak in Buck’s hold like that was the only thing that kept him whole.

Buck didn’t let go of him even when Eddie’s breathing returned to normal and he stopped shaking. Eddie knew he had to be the first one to pull away but he couldn’t bear the thought of lifting his face away from Buck’s dampened shirt only to then not even be able to open his eyes to see the mess of tears he’d left behind.

So they stayed like that as they listened to Christopher and Denny laughing in the living room. They stayed like that until Eddie felt human again.

“You wanna talk about what you’re feeling?”

“Not particularly, at least not yet. I just feel sad. And don’t worry, Frank will get to hear all about it.”

Buck’s nose made a tiny amused noise and that gave Eddie the strength to lean back.

“I’m ready to get creamed, now,” Eddie deadpanned, smiling when Buck burst out laughing in surprise.

Eddie unwrapped the gauze himself before leaning against the counter so Buck could apply the cream, touch as careful as always, fingers gentle against Eddie’s jaw.

Eddie desperately wanted to open his eyes, just to confirm that he really couldn’t see. It was easy enough to remind himself that trying might be dangerous, but the urge was there, especially when Buck was so close and Eddie wanted to see him more than anything.

“Can I touch your face?” He blurted out before he could think better of it as Buck started pulling away. “I mean, I don’t know, maybe it migh- I don’t know.”

Buck chuckled softly, probably seeing all the embarrassment Eddie felt. “Of course.”

Eddie hesitated, not really knowing how he was supposed to go about touching someone’s face.

It was Buck who grabbed his hands and brought them up to his cheeks, resting them there until Eddie moved on his own, tracing the lines of Buck’s jaw, his smile, before trailing up, finding his skin warm under his fingertips, like maybe Buck was blushing.

Eddie could hear how deliberately Buck was breathing and he wondered if Buck felt as weirdly overwhelmed as Eddie did. They were touchy by default, but this was somehow more intimate than every bed they’d shared, every hug, no matter how intense.

Buck’s face fit perfectly between Eddie’s palms and, god, Eddie wished he could just lean in and kiss him. The thought wasn’t surprising, it certainly wasn’t new, but he’d never wanted to give in to it so fiercely before, leaving him kind of winded, a different ache taking up space in his chest.

“Thank you,” Eddie whispered, slowly pulling his hands away only for Buck to catch them, fingers loose around his wrists.

“Did it help?”

Eddie swallowed, feeling lost without being able to read between the lines of Buck’s face, to check if any of what he was feeling was reflected back.

“Yes. You always help ground me, I just needed the reminder, I guess.”

“Reminder of what I look like?”

“No, just... that you’re here, that you’re real. I don’t really know how to expla-”

Buck squeezed his wrists. “You don’t have to. I’m just glad I could help.”

Eddie breathed in slowly, holding in anything else his frayed mind might want to spill out with it before slapping his hand around the counter for the roll of gauze. Buck snorted and pressed it against his fingers.

Eddie got halfway through wrapping up his eyes before he kind of lost track of what he’d already done, grateful when Buck silently took over.

“You’ll be promoted to eye drops tomorrow, it’ll be a little easier to manage.”

“That requires good hand-eye coordination and I’m missing one of those skills right now.”

Buck laughed, fingers trailing down Eddie’s cheek before they pulled away. “I’ll be there for damage control.”

“And thank god for that because I’d just end up stabbing myself in the eye with the stupid squeezy bottle.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’d only do that once before you’d learn.”

It was Eddie’s turn to laugh, head falling forward, forehead knocking into Buck’s chin. He was about to apologize when he was suddenly yanked into another hug.

“Sorry, I should have warned you,” Buck mumbled against Eddie’s shoulder but staying put when Eddie stopped him from leaning away. “This one’s for me, if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, of course.” Eddie wrapped his arms around him, something that was starting to feel familiar without his sight.

“You ready to go back out there?” Buck asked, words warm across Eddie’s cheek.

“Only if you are.”

Buck nodded, leaving a whisper of a kiss to his temple as he pulled away.

Christopher was telling Karen about a nature documentary they’d watched the week before but he interrupted himself with a happy noise to go give Eddie a hug of his own. “Can we help Bobby cook lunch?”

“Hey, Eddie,” Bobby spoke up from somewhere behind them. “Hope you don’t mind me bringing the family along?”

Eddie grinned, opening his arms up and laughing when both May and Bobby rushed into them

“Your hair looks ridiculous with the bandages but you still look badass,” May said with a giggle when Athena tutted before she nudged herself into the hug, immediately followed by Christopher coming in for seconds.

Harry tugged at Eddie’s shirt to ask him very seriously if his hearing had improved like a superpower.

Athena waited until everyone was out of earshot to tell him more about the two officers in the unmarked car across the street watching over them, promising him that she trusted them and reminding him to call her if he needed anything with a kiss to his cheek.

So Bobby cooked them lunch with Christopher and Buck’s help, and they spent the rest of the afternoon finding board game combinations that somewhat worked without sight, creating a hybrid monstrosity with incomprehensible rules no one could remember.

By the time the bandages needed to be changed again, Eddie found that he was in a good place mentally, one he didn’t mind staying in for however long it would take for him to heal. He almost felt at peace as Buck helped him through the process, not needing to step in as much now that Eddie got the hang of applying the cream himself.

After dinner, once the house was empty again, Eddie happily cozied up between Buck and Christopher to have another movie described to him in silly abstract ways. Christopher fell asleep against him during the final scene and Eddie let himself revel in the moment with Buck leaning into him on his other side, whispering about how adorable Christopher looked so Eddie could picture it.

Christopher only woke up as Buck carried him to his room, letting Eddie trail behind them with his fingers curled into Buck’s shirt so he wouldn’t walk into any walls. Or furniture.

Eddie felt his way around until he could sit on the edge of Christopher’s bed, gratefully accepting his tight hug goodnight before tucking him in with practiced ease. Buck was sat down on the floor, keeping one hand on Eddie’s knee and the other presumably tickling Christopher who was giggling sleepily.

They waited until Christopher fell asleep again, and even then, neither of them moved, content to stay until they felt his grip loosen with sleep around their hands.

Eddie didn’t need any help making his way back to the living room, managing to get to the couch without running into anything. He’d kept his arms up the whole time but it still felt like a victory. His reward was Buck sitting by his side and leaning into him again.

“I hope this doesn’t, like, make you sad,” Buck started, nose nudging at Eddie’s jaw, “but I still wanted to ask, would you like me to describe Christopher’s drawings to you?”

Eddie smiled, making a show of turning towards him and folding his knees up like he was getting ready for a presentation.

Buck giggled a little before clearing his throat and giving Eddie a comically detailed description of that day’s drawings, down to the placement of each accidental dirty fingerprint. Buck had Eddie trace over each drawing and even quizzed him on what was in each quadrant, making Eddie laugh behind his hand so he wouldn’t wake Christopher up.

After a midnight chocolatey Chimney-provided snack Buck insisted on, Eddie curled up with his head in Buck’s lap and asked him to read to him instead of putting on an audiobook. Buck did so with a sweet laugh, resting the novel he was in the middle of on Eddie’s shoulder while he played with his hair.

Eddie fell asleep between two chapters, hands folded together under Buck’s thigh. He didn’t usually have nightmares when Buck was next to him but he was apparently due for an exception, one that felt far too realistic where he never got his sight back and pushed everyone he loved away in the process.

He woke up with a heaving gasp, Buck’s dreamed words clashing with his real ones as Eddie swam back up to the surface of consciousness.

“Hey, hey, Eddie. You’re okay. I’m right here.”

Eddie was gripping Buck’s arms, fingers aching from how hard he was holding on but Buck was only trying to soothe him, not letting him back away.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie whispered, not really knowing why, just feeling the need to say it anyway. Sorry for waking up so dramatically, sorry for creating such an inaccurate version of you in my tormented mind, sorry for leaving bruises on your biceps, he wasn’t sure.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Eddie, come on. You’re okay, we’re okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

Eddie felt like his strings had been severed all at once, body going lax with the unshaken certainty that Buck would catch him. And he did, pulling Eddie down on top of him and holding him close with more kind words, gentle fingers - always so gentle - running over his skin and stitching him back together without even knowing it. Or maybe he did know, he always seemed to know exactly what Eddie needed, even when Eddie himself didn’t.

Eddie breathed through it, finally letting his hands unclench to rest them over Buck’s chest instead, finding a heartbeat that matched his, frantic but getting calmer by the minute as they ticked by in the dark. God, it was so fucking dark, but Eddie had stopped minding as much. Buck’s light was just as bright even when Eddie couldn’t see it.

He forgave himself the cheesy thoughts under the pull of exhaustion.

“Will you let me take you to bed?” Buck asked right before Eddie could fall asleep again.

“Yeah, yeah, we can do that,” Eddie whispered, leaning back and awkwardly climbing off of Buck from their totally platonic cuddling.

After they brushed their teeth, Eddie let Buck do all the work, too tired to pretend he could do it on his own. Buck applied the cream, changed the bandages, and held his hand as he guided him to Eddie’s bedroom where he helped Eddie undress.

Eddie’s inhale still stuttered when Buck pulled his boxers down his legs, tapping at his thigh to get him to lift his feet. He felt guilty about it, about letting his feelings for Buck alter what should have been a kind gesture of innocent trust. This was his friend helping him in his time of need, nothing else, but Eddie still trembled when Buck left his hand on his chest as he reached for pajamas, Eddie still held his breath when Buck helped him into them.

Buck stopped touching him just long enough to get into his own sleep clothes and Eddie felt lost for those few moments, wavering unsteadily on his feet somewhere in his own room, an unknown distance from the bed, the door, Buck. It was honestly kind of fucked up how offkilter he felt without Buck’s hands on him for no more than a couple minutes.

Eddie was already wondering how he’d cope without Buck at his side once he did get his sight back. Would he always feel this adrift without this new normal he’d built up in his head? Would he ever be able to let go of the quiet intimacy he’d already gotten so accustomed to?

Would he lose all of it if Buck ever found out that Eddie was hiding feelings for him the entire time?

Then Buck’s hand was back, squeezing his wrist and leading him over to the bed, and Eddie couldn’t help but follow, already knowing that he always would.

Eddie crawled his way up to his pillow and laughed a little when he felt Buck let himself fall onto the bed like a deadweight.

All of Eddie’s worries didn’t completely disappear when Buck scooted in as close as possible, but they were silenced enough that Eddie could easily relax in Buck’s arms. Buck, who was wearing socks again.

“I know we said we weren’t doing the thank you thing anym-”

“I’d be mad at you if you didn’t let me do this,” Buck interrupted with a huff, tightening his hold around Eddie. “I need this.”

Eddie pressed in closer with a smile. “Okay. Okay. I do, too.”

Buck hummed, one hand soothing up Eddie’s back to settle in his hair.

“But still, thank you,” Eddie whispered in the tiny space between them, lips brushing the hollow of Buck’s throat, feeling it when he swallowed.

“You’re welcome.”

Eddie yawned, making Buck kind of scrunch his neck up with a grunt from being tickled. Eddie laughed, nudging his way back in until he could feel Buck’s pulse under his nose, finding it faster than his, probably from the accidental tickling.

The last thing Eddie remembered before falling asleep was Buck mumbling something about Eddie being as adorable as Christopher when he was sleepy.

Eddie didn’t feel very adorable when he woke up drooling all over Buck’s shoulder, but he sure as shit felt happy.

It didn’t take him long to realize what had woken him up in the first place as Christopher’s quiet giggle reached his ears before Buck’s did, their whispered conversation making its way into his awareness as he smiled. He reached back behind him to yank Christopher over him so he could settle between Buck and Eddie with a delighted laugh.

“Good morning,” Eddie grumbled, making a show of patting over Christopher’s face like he was checking that this was indeed his son, grinning when Christopher whined and batted his hands away, complaining about Eddie’s fingerprints dirtying his glasses. “Who is this big man?”

Christopher wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck with squeaky giggles. “It’s me!”

“You! When did you get so tall?”

Christopher laughed, wiggling around when Eddie tickled his sides, getting an elbow to the sternum in the process.

They stayed in bed until Carla came to find them, voice fond as she reminded Christopher that being tall didn’t exempt him from having to go to school, making all of them boo in unison.

Eddie asked Christopher if he could come along to drop him off, smiling when Christopher agreed immediately, abandoning his breakfast to give Eddie a hug. Not that Eddie was worried that Christopher wouldn’t feel comfortable with him there, but needing to check just in case he didn’t want his schoolmates to see Eddie in his discount mummy costume.

After Christopher was off to school with plenty of hugs, Buck took Eddie by the arm and insisted that they were going on a mental health walk.

“Are we being tailed?” Eddie asked as Buck guided him through a park.

Buck laughed. “Yeah, the unmarked cop car is following us. Think we can shake them?”

Grinning, Eddie squeezed Buck’s arm and started walking faster, trusting Buck not to let him walk into an open manhole or something. It took a good thirty minutes of going down side streets before Buck told him that they’d gotten away with breathless giggles.

“Athena’s not going to be happy, but we’re just testing out their training. Really, we’re doing her a favor,” Eddie panted out, leaning against whatever wall they were near.

Buck laughed, nudging their shoulders together before he let out a little gasp. “Shit they found us!”

Giggling some more, they ducked into what might have been a coffee shop, the smell of pastries drawing them in for an early brunch before Eddie had therapy.

Buck stayed pressed against his side as they ate, swapping out bits of food for the other to try and sharing an overpriced glass of juice. It felt a whole lot like a date, but Eddie knew better than to fall into that kind of wishful thinking, even when Buck used his thumb to wipe away some crumbs from Eddie’s top lip with a chuckle.

Once they got home, Buck helped set Eddie up for phone therapy before going off to do some clearing around the house. The session was as painful as it was healing with Eddie confessing to everything he was feeling, finding it easier and easier not to hold back.

Frank didn’t allow Eddie to linger in his wallowing for too long and gently reminded him how far he’d come despite the weight Eddie could feel on his shoulders. Eddie wasn’t a gold star craving kind of guy, but he still felt grateful for the metaphorical one when Frank told him he was proud of him.

Eddie’s eyes were stinging by the end of the call but he managed not to tear up until he failed to end it on his own, feeling stupid as he just turned his whole phone off instead of getting Buck.

When Eddie left his room - successfully avoiding the shoe rack in the process - Buck greeted him with a hug. He tried to be super casual about it but Eddie was glad for it anyway. He smiled when Buck leaned back to bring Eddie’s hands up to touch his face so Eddie could feel his matching smile.

They had time for a quick post-therapy Chimney snack before heading off to the hospital. Chimney really had gotten everything they had to offer.

The hospital smell didn’t hit Eddie too hard when he had Buck’s arm looped around his waist as they walked in. The absent neon lighting made the experience somewhat more manageable even if Eddie found himself kind of missing it, weirdly enough. For all he knew they could just be in a really well sterilized museum.

His healing was going well, apparently, but he was still a bit disappointed when he was asked to open his eyes for the first time since he’d woken up bandaged and his vision wasn’t miraculously back already. He could see a faint glow and the play of shadows when someone stood in front of him, but that didn’t really feel like the victory the doctor told him it was.

He didn’t let himself feel sad about it, though, even when they bandaged him up again, focusing on Buck’s excitement about the news instead, letting his positivity wash away the chagrin before it could have time to settle around his lungs as the darkness returned.

They went grocery shopping on the way home and Eddie felt a little like a toddler when Buck left him next to the shopping cart while he got everything they needed, checking in with Eddie between each aisle. Buck still made it fun, he always did, turning what should have been a banal task into a proper outing that didn’t leave Eddie as drained as he expected to be.

He was still tired when they got back to the house, but once the groceries were put away he got to sit at the kitchen table while Buck got started on dinner, trailing a hand over Eddie’s shoulders every few minutes like he was making sure Eddie knew he hadn’t gone anywhere.

While dinner was slow-cooking, Eddie asked Buck if he could help him shave, which was just code for please do it for me because my face is itchy and I shouldn’t be trusted with an electric shaver let alone a razor.

He just hadn’t taken into account how intimate it would feel. More so than their bandage routine, with Eddie sitting on the sink counter and Buck standing between his thighs.

Buck lathering him up in shaving cream was funny more than anything, but then he held Eddie’s face so very tenderly and stayed quiet as he ran the razor over his cheeks, being particularly careful around his mouth while Eddie tried to stay still and keep his breathing under control.

He could feel how close Buck was, a warm concentrated presence all along his front. Eddie had to focus really hard on not making any noise as Buck tilted his head back to shave along his jaw and under his chin, leaving Eddie to wonder if Buck would be able to feel, to see, how fast his heart was beating as the blades passed over his throat.

Buck did a slow thorough job, the whole thing taking far longer than Eddie was used to and he was left on edge and weirdly turned on as Buck cleaned his face and moved his head around to check his work with a pleased hum.

Somehow, Buck patting on the aftershave felt just as personal even if he was finally talking again, words kind of faded while Eddie tried to get himself under control.

At least doing laundry together afterwards wasn’t sensual, it was just kind of boring in a peaceful way. Eddie insisted on folding the mix of their clothes on the couch while Buck read to him again, gently pointing out when the shirt Eddie was holding was inside out. Eddie had to leave pairing the socks up to Buck.

It all felt so domestic, normal, like this was just how their life would always be, and Eddie never wanted it to end once he got his sight back. It wasn’t a new feeling, just a version of what he’d gone through the night before, but it was one he was getting dangerously used to. Enough so that he already knew how much it would hurt when Buck went home to his own place, when Buck stopped sleeping in his bed, stopped being a constant presence in Eddie’s space that was starting to feel like theirs.

That feeling increased tenfold when Christopher came home and immediately told both Buck and Eddie how his day had gone, like this was his new norm, too. Like this would be just as painful for him when it was over.

Eddie ached at the thought, especially because he knew that Buck would feel something similar. But then Eddie was being pulled into a cheesy dance as Christopher and Buck put on music - the road trip playlist - to make homework time more fun. Eddie let himself get twirled with Buck’s hands around his waist, sorrow floating away like it always did when he heard his boys laugh.

After dinner, they played a racing video game to test out how well Eddie would do just with overlapping instructions. The answer was not well at all, but they had a blast anyway.

Eddie nearly fell asleep before Christopher did when Buck read him a bedtime story, soothed by his silly voices and absurd ad libs filling in the book’s plot holes to make Christopher giggle sleepily.

Once Christopher was properly tucked in and given many forehead kisses and I love you’s, Buck brought Eddie over to the bathroom to give him his first round of eye drops, which wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience, but he didn’t mind too much when Buck held his face as carefully as always while he bandaged him up again.

They spent the rest of the evening flicking through nature documentaries so Eddie could name the subject matter as quickly as possible until they settled on one that was too interesting to skip.

At some point, Buck started snoring softly, his head resting on Eddie’s thigh while Eddie carded his fingers through his hair. Eddie lowered the TV’s volume and just let himself bask in the moment until he fell asleep too.

A noise outside made him wake up with a jolt, smiling when Buck made a confused sound before panic gripped Eddie’s throat when he realized that the hushed voices he could hear were coming from the back patio.

Terror, cold and visceral, ran through him as Buck sat up in a rush with a sharp inhale, confirming that he’d heard it, too. Eddie pushed at Buck to get him to stand right as the sound of wood splintering near the back door reached them.

“I’ll call Athena, go hide Christopher,” Eddie whispered pleadingly, squeezing Buck’s wrist when he seemed to freeze for a moment before he ran.

Eddie’s mouth filled with bile as he slapped at the remote to turn the TV off before sliding off the couch and crawling into the corner behind it. He pulled his phone out, fingers clumsy as he tried to remember how to access the emergency options they’d installed so he could use his phone without his sight.

“Eddie?”

“Somethi- someone is trying to break in.” As he said it, the door was forced open with a crack and he heard at least three people make their way inside.

Eddie pressed his lips together to quiet his heavy breathing, nausea making him dizzy as the realization that he couldn’t fucking do anything choked him. He couldn’t go help Buck hide Christopher, or fight off the intruders, or even defend himself if they found him, he couldn’t do anything.

“Eddie, my officers are right outside, they’ll be in there in a few seconds, okay?”

He didn’t dare answer, focusing on the sound of footsteps creeping into the living room. He heard what might have been a gun safety clicking off before the room got loud as the police stormed in screaming for everyone to put their hands up.

Eddie couldn’t even feel any relief, ears ringing as he put his hands up too and tried not to shake apart. There was the sound of a gun being kicked away, of handcuffs being locked into place, and people eventually being dragged out of the house, but he ignored all of that until he could hear-

“Dad!”

Eddie let out a sob, knee-walking forward until Christopher threw himself into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, buddy. It’s okay, you’re safe, I’m here,” Eddie breathed, trembling so much it was making his teeth clack.

Buck was there a second later, getting down on the floor and hugging both of them close. Eddie could feel how much his chest was stuttering from holding back tears Eddie hadn’t managed to stop for himself.

Eddie didn’t know how long they stayed there, barely registering Bobby and Athena arriving until Bobby softly asked him if they wanted to stay at their place for the rest of the night.

Eddie refused to let go of either Christopher or Buck as they were guided out of the house and into the back seat of Bobby’s truck.

Christopher fell asleep half in his lap during the drive while Eddie just tried not to cry into Buck’s shirt, thanking him over and over for protecting his son when he couldn’t and accepting Buck’s kind distorted words in return.

Bobby got them settled in their guest room, already knowing he didn’t need to offer them a second one as he hugged all of them goodnight.

Eddie followed Christopher into the bed and curled around him, ignoring his grumbling about having clingy dads as Buck did the same on his other side. Christopher fell right back asleep, his hand between Eddie’s with Buck’s on top.

Buck reached over to cup Eddie’s cheek, thumb tracing under his tear-dampened bandages in the quiet. Eddie turned his face into his palm, leaving a kiss at its center, the only thing he could do until he could find his voice again. Eddie must have eventually passed out like that, somehow sleeping until morning when Christopher gently woke him up because he wanted breakfast.

Buck called Christopher’s school to warn them that he wouldn’t be coming in, much to Christopher’s dismay, but he didn’t seem too disappointed when they promised him a day of hanging out and games.

After lunch, they had to give their reports about what happened while Christopher watched a movie with Harry, their laughter in the background paired with Buck holding Eddie’s hand the only things that made the debrief less painful. Eddie found out that Buck had hidden Christopher in the crawlspace in his bedroom and stood guard in the hallway with Eddie’s bat.

Athena assured them that the back door had been fixed and that everyone involved would be going away for a very long time with no one left to come after them or the first victim.

She also told them that they could stay there for as long as they needed. Eddie could hear her smile when she agreed to drive them home after Eddie declined her offer. Christopher had been very insistent about wanting to sleep in his own bed that night.

When they got back to the house, Chimney, Maddie, and Jee-Yun were waiting for them with music playing and a new selection of snacks that didn’t come from a hospital vending machine. Eddie felt so grateful he almost teared up, accepting everyone’s hugs and spending a good hour playing with Jee-Yun who seemed utterly fascinated by the fact that Eddie couldn’t see her.

Buck kept his hand on the back of Eddie’s neck the entire day. It stayed as they put Christopher down for the night after talking through what happened for so long their throats hurt, it stayed throughout their evening rituals, all the way until they crawled into bed together even though it was nowhere near their bedtime.

Buck’s arms around Eddie were almost painfully tight but Eddie couldn’t have handled anything else, his own fingers gripping the back of Buck’s shirt, one of Eddie’s.

“We’re safe,” Eddie whispered, nuzzling at Buck’s throat from his now-usual spot and kissing his pulse point before he could stop himself, feeling his heartbeat jump under his lips. “We’re okay.”

“Yeah, I know, I just- fuck, Eddie.”

“I know. I know.”

“Having to leave you behind in the living room- I felt like I couldn’t breathe, not knowing if you were safe- Eddie.”

“You were doing what I couldn’t, you were making sure that Christopher was safe first. You kept both of us safe.”

Buck was shaking in Eddie’s embrace so Eddie pushed in even closer and tangled their legs together. The socks were back.

“You kept us both safe,” Eddie repeated, pressing the words against Buck’s skin. “You were perfect, you’re perfect.”

“Eddie,” Buck cried softly, muffled by Eddie’s hair. “I should hav-”

“You did everything right. I would have been a liability, hiding was the best option while you went to keep our s- Christopher safe. You did everything right, you hear me?”

“Why are you comforting me when you were the one who was in the most danger?” Buck whispered with a sad laugh.

Eddie hummed, petting over Buck’s back, letting his fingers make their way under his shirt. “Because I knew that the two most important people in my life would be safe. And that there were cops right outside.”

Buck laughed, it sounded a bit wet so Eddie leaned back to use the collar of his shirt to wipe at Buck’s tears, ignoring his own. He pressed their foreheads together and synched his breathing up with Buck’s.

It was Buck who reached for Eddie’s hand to bring it up to his cheek.

Buck didn’t say anything for a moment. “I felt like I was leaving half my heart behind.”

Eddie inhaled slowly, disrupting their matched pattern. He would have given anything to be able to see Buck’s face, to see if it reflected how Eddie wanted to interpret the words. He heard a confession in them, one he was desperate to be on the other side of one day.

“We get to take your bandages off in a couple days, are you excited about wearing sunglasses indoors?” Buck asked then, kind of in a rush, before Eddie had time to work through his last life-altering statement.

Eddie bit at his bottom lip, expecting to feel sadness pulling at his ribs but only finding hope there instead.

“I’ll finally be able to know what time of day it is without the gauze in the way.”

“Oh, am I not good enough as your walking clock?”

“You’re perfect,” Eddie whispered, hearing Buck’s near-silent exhale. “I couldn’t ask for a better clock.”

Buck snorted, making Eddie grin as he wiggled his way back down to tuck his face under Buck’s chin again, registering all of Buck’s reactions now that he could let himself believe that maybe, just maybe, Buck had feelings for him, too.

Eddie could feel traces of it in how Buck relaxed in his arms even as his heartbeat sped up every time Eddie nudged in closer, in how Buck clung to him like Eddie was the only thing keeping him whole. Half his heart.

Eddie fell asleep feeling loved in a new and shiny way.

They woke up before Christopher so they quietly shuffled through their morning routine before going to the kitchen to get started on a proper breakfast they usually only reserved for weekends. Buck put on some gentle music - the road trip playlist again - and giggled when Eddie sang the wrong lyrics, mostly on purpose.

Eddie was doing fine with his tasks until he added way too much salt due to a sightless miscalculation. Buck laughed when Eddie pouted in his direction after tasting it and accepting that they had to start over.

“Come on, we’re dancing, now,” Buck said, like that was a completely logical next step, hands finding Eddie’s hips and pulling him into the rhythm of the song. Eddie smiled and wrapped his arms around Buck’s shoulders to bring him closer, stomach doing a giddy flip when Buck gasped softly against his cheek.

“Last night-” Eddie started as one song faded into the next.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Buck mumbled, but he didn’t pull away, just hid his face in the crook of Eddie’s neck.

“What if I want to talk about it?”

“W-what, um- what do you think there is to talk about?”

“The fact that I wanted to kiss you and that I think you might have wanted that too?” Eddie didn’t mean for it to come out like a question but there was still a dark nervous part of him that was worried he was about to irreversibly break them.

“I did, I do,” Buck breathed out, the relieved smile obvious in his voice, “I always have, even during those first few days when I acted like a dick, but that was just because you were hot. Now it’s because- because I’m in love with you.”

Eddie grinned, eyes burning a bit behind the gauze. “Can we also talk about how I love you, too?”

“Yeah, yeah, I think we should absolutely talk about that,” Buck said with a breathless laugh.

“I love you, Evan Buckley, every single part of you. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”

“So I don’t get to find out the exact reasons why?” Buck giggled when Eddie brought a hand down to tickle his side before bringing it back up to cup Buck’s jaw, blindly managing on the first try.

“Do you want a list or do you want to kiss me?”

Buck inhaled shakily and Eddie held his own breath when he felt their noses bump. “I think I can do that.”

And then Buck was kissing him, pressing his smile against Eddie’s and making what felt a lot like peace spark all across Eddie’s skin, soaking into him bright and healing all the way down to his very core. It was fucking ridiculous, frankly, how Buck could do and fix so much with only a chaste kiss.

Buck’s fingers tightened around Eddie’s waist before running over his back to pull him closer, making a soft noise when Eddie curved into him. Eddie’s thumb smoothed across Buck’s cheek, feeling it when Buck’s mouth opened under his as he pulled a gasp out of him.

“You’re going to ruin me,” Eddie whispered, feeling Buck’s hum around his bottom lip.

“I’ll do anything you want. Anything.”

“I’ll hold you to that. Later. Once we’ve fixed breakfast.”

Buck groaned, resting his forehead against Eddie’s chin and laughing a little, sounding just as winded as Eddie despite how tame the kiss had realistically been.

So they doubled the recipe to compensate for the excess salt and set the table before waking Christopher up with plenty of hair ruffling.

After breakfast, while Buck was bringing the first round of dishes to the kitchen, Christopher leaned in to faux-quietly ask Eddie if Buck was his boyfriend now. They heard Buck drop some cutlery in the kitchen and Eddie laughed as he took Christopher’s hand in his. It took him a couple tries and he accidentally put his elbow in Christopher’s empty plate first, making Christopher giggle.

“I don’t know how you already figured it out, but yeah, Buck and I are together.”

“It’s about time! Denny didn’t believe me when I told him you two weren’t boyfriends yet.”

Eddie let out a surprised laugh, smiling so much it was making his cheeks twinge.

“Buck makes you really happy, and having Buck around makes both of us really happy, so this was always meant to happen, right?”

Eddie chuckled, ducking his head as his face got warm. “Yeah, I suppose it was. It definitely feels that way.”

“So why’d you wait so long?”

Buck answered from the doorway. “Because adults are silly sometimes.”

Christopher made a long-suffering noise. “Clearly.”

Laughing, Eddie pulled Christopher closer to hug him, knocking over something on the table in the process.

There was a clicking sound next to them and Eddie realized with a laugh that it had been Buck’s knees as he’d knelt down to hug Christopher too.

Eddie could hear that Buck was pretty close to crying as he told Christopher that he loved him and thanked him for being such a ‘cool little dude’. Christopher just sounded delighted as he asked if he could finally tell everyone at school that he had two dads, which really did make Buck cry. Eddie knew that from the aborted hiccup Buck tried to hide by hugging Christopher again.

Carla arrived less than a minute later to take Christopher to school, making an understanding humming noise as she probably took all of them in. Eddie smiled when she patted his cheek and whispered her congratulations before doing the same to Buck.

Eddie later found out that she had snuck a pamphlet about dog adoption into Eddie’s jacket pocket which Buck wore again before he did.

Christopher gave both of them tight hugs goodbye before going off to school with a final happy squeal.

Once the house was empty, Eddie put his arms out until he found Buck and pulled him into them, laughing when Buck immediately started swaying them in time with the music that was still playing in the distance.

“I can’t wait to do this for the rest of our lives,” Buck said as he raised Eddie’s arm so he could twirl himself under it.

“Slow dance in the kitchen?”

“That, but also just being here in the morning with you and Christopher.”

“Are you moving yourself in? Because the answer is already yes.”

Eddie felt Buck smile against his temple before leaving a kiss there. “I would be honored.”

“Good, because I’m not letting you go anywhere.”

“We haven’t done your eye drops yet,” Buck whispered right as Eddie went to kiss him.

Eddie grumbled, letting himself go limp in Buck’s arms just to hear Buck laugh before allowing himself to be dragged to the bathroom.

Things were still very blurry when Buck removed the bandages but he could see the fuzzy outline of Buck’s face as he followed it with his fingertips, distracting him while Eddie traced over the line of his jaw, his nose. His smile.

Eddie let out an embarrassing noise when Buck held his chin and jokingly forced his head back with a fond tut to put the drops in when Eddie wouldn’t comply. Eddie blinked them in diligently and mourned the loss of light as Buck wrapped the gauze around his eyes again. He didn’t mind too much when Buck used his gentle grip on Eddie’s jaw to keep him still so he could kiss him.

Buck kissed him with all the tenderness in the world and it still burned through Eddie with flickering heat that made him damn near dizzy as he pushed in closer with a demanding whine.

“I can’t believe I get to do this now.” Buck said it like a confession, like Eddie had given him the best possible gift just by being himself. “I can’t believe I get to have you.”

“You can have me in any way you want.” Eddie meant it semi-jokingly but it mostly came out equally fond and horny as he curled his fingers into Buck’s hair and dragged him in for another kiss.

Eddie didn’t notice himself get moved until the counter was digging into his ass, Buck leaning him into it with a shuddery laugh as Eddie bit at his bottom lip. Eddie whined again when Buck lifted him up onto the very edge of the sink and pressed in between his thighs, hands dropping warm along his sides, pulling his shirt up a bit as Eddie arched into him.

“God, look at you,” Buck interrupted himself with a laugh when Eddie leaned back just enough to sarcastically point at his covered eyes. “That’s fine, I can do all the looking. Gotta get a head start on the rest of my life. We can just pretend that we’re already delving into blindfold play.”

Eddie laughed and wrapped his legs around Buck’s hips, grinning when it made Buck grunt and dig his fingers in around Eddie’s waist. Eddie thought he might get high on the feeling of Buck getting hard against him and the noise he made when he realized that Eddie was just as turned on.

“I don’t know how you feel about sex before a first official date, b-” Buck started, words mumbled between messy kisses.

“I have no qualms about it whatsoever,” Eddie breathed out, hands pulling at the back of Buck’s shirt before grabbing on with a full-on squeak when Buck just fucking picked him up.

“I’m not fucking you in the bathroom, though.”

Eddie laughed, a breathless shaky sound. “Oh, you think you’re gonna fuck me?”

Buck faltered on the way to the door. “Uh, I just meant-”

“I want that, want you. God, I want you so much.”

Eddie kissed Buck’s grin, his own giddy one getting in the way. He found that he really didn’t mind having zero spatial awareness as Buck carried him to his - their - bedroom, too distracted by Buck’s hands under his ass.

The feeling of falling backwards onto the bed made his stomach swoop pleasantly, especially when Buck followed him down, pressing him into the mattress with a soft whine. Eddie didn’t unlock his legs from around Buck’s waist as he rolled his hips up just to hear Buck moan again.

“Full disclosure, I’ve never been fucked before,” Eddie admitted, wishing he could see the face Buck made when he froze for a second.

“We don’t have to do- we can do anything you want. Anything. I just want to make you feel good.”

Eddie grinned, fingers running through Buck’s hair again to pull him down into another kiss. “I want it, I want you to fuck me. Need it,” he whispered, exhaling roughly when Buck’s hips jerked before Eddie’s world was suddenly tilting until he was straddling Buck with a hiccuping noise he didn’t mean to make.

“Sorry, should’ve warned you,” Buck said with a giggle, not sounding sorry at all.

“I think you like being able to manhandle me. Which actually works out for me because it turns out I like it, too.”

Buck hummed as his hands tugged at Eddie’s shirt until he leaned up so he could take it off. “Good to know. I really like knowing that. Anything else you’re into?”

Eddie scooted down enough to get at the bottom of Buck’s shirt but he got distracted by how hard Buck was under him, by the sound he made when Eddie kind of started grinding against him. “I like it when you talk.”

Buck snorted, grin obvious in his voice. “Well thank god for that otherwise this relationship would be off to a bad start.”

Huffing, Eddie weakly slapped at Buck’s bare stomach before going back to pushing his shirt up his chest. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, but I wanna hear you say it.”

Eddie could feel how warm his face was getting. He wasn’t used to, well, any of this. Sex had always been enjoyable, sure, but it had never felt this easy, this fun. It had always been a quiet and subdued affair. Controlled.

With Buck... they hadn’t even really done anything yet and Eddie already knew he didn’t have to hold any part of himself back, even the ones even he didn’t know about. That wasn’t something he’d ever experienced before.

“I like hearing you, not just now because I can’t see you, just in general, I- I just like it when you talk, okay?”

“Are you saying you have a kink for my voice?”

Eddie groaned, shoving the collar of Buck’s own shirt into his mouth before taking it back out immediately to kiss him silent instead.

“I like knowing it’s you. I wanna hear everything you’re feeling and... everything you want to do to me,” Eddie confessed, smiling when he heard Buck downright whimper.

“Everything. God, Eddie, I want everything with you. Wanna fuck you and figure out all the ways I can make you come. Want you to fuck me until I cry, or beg, or both. I want all of it, you have no idea.”

“I think I might have some idea, and yeah, yeah, that all sounds really good.”

Slowly, so he didn’t accidentally smash into Buck, Eddie dropped down onto his elbows to frame Buck’s face and meet his kiss as he let his hips roll down. He moaned when Buck’s fingers pushed at the waistband of his sweatpants, just enough to tease across his ass, getting bolder when Eddie just gasped into Buck’s mouth.

“Fuck, you feel so good over me,” Buck breathed, nipping at Eddie’s bottom lip when Eddie lost focus away from the kiss to press back against Buck’s hands. “Do you want my fingers?”

Eddie whined, shivering from the rush of heat at Buck’s words that was still so new. “Please, yeah.”

Buck kissed the underside of Eddie’s jaw, trailing more kisses up to his temple. “Gonna need to know where you hide your lube first.”

Laughing breathlessly, Eddie let himself fully fall on top of Buck. “Give me a sec.”

Buck seemed perfectly happy with feeling Eddie up and pulling his pants further down while Eddie leaned over the side of the bed to blindly pat around under it between storage boxes to find the hidden one. He impatiently just emptied it out on the floor and grabbed what was either the lube or a small vibrator.

He showed it to Buck to get confirmation, grinning when Buck evidently got curious and looked over the edge of the mattress to see what else had been in the box.

“I’m almost disappointed that I don’t get to be your first introduction to the magical properties of the prostate.”

Eddie laughed, dropping the bottle somewhere on Buck’s chest, wiggling a little in his lap to make him stop giggling with a sharp inhale.

“So I guess I shouldn’t tell you that I can sometimes make myself come without touching my dick?”

Buck made a dramatic wounded noise, fingers yanking Eddie down by his waist to kiss him like he’d die if he didn’t.

“Fuck. Eddie, fuck.”

“Yeah that’s the plan. Fucking Eddie.”

Buck groaned, gently swatting at Eddie’s ass and getting an embarrassing choked off sound out of him.

“Interes-”

“Don’t you dare. I can’t help it if everything you do turns me on.” Eddie found that, for once, he was glad he couldn’t see the delight that was probably all over Buck’s face if his giggles were anything to go by. That was a lie, he wanted to see all of it, all of him.

But then Eddie heard the sound of the lube opening and all he could do was rest his forehead against Buck’s and try not to let the anticipation burn him up.

Buck was so careful with him, kissing his cheek and the corner of his mouth as he teased his dry fingers low before letting lube drip over them, using far more than necessary, but the feeling made Eddie tremble before Buck’s first finger even pushed in.

“Of course you like it messy,” Eddie joked, voice already close to broken.

Buck hummed, nudging his nose against Eddie’s. “I have a feeling you like it, too.”

“Yeah, what about it? You- ah, you bring out the horniest in me.”

“I’ll be in you soon enough, dude.”

Eddie scoffed out a laugh and rocked back against Buck’s hand, trying to get him to hurry the fuck up when he wouldn’t even go in past the first knuckle. There was something so lewd about the fact that Buck was still dressed under him, that Eddie’s sweats weren’t even all the way off, just shoved down enough to give Buck access.

“You’re a menace,” Eddie whispered, trying and failing to kiss him when Buck fucked his finger in all the way. It barely felt like anything but it still had him panting out an unconscious “Please”.

“If you’re already this sensitive I can’t wait to find out what noises you’re gonna make when I’m fucking you.”

“What, next century?” Eddie couldn’t help but quip, countering Buck’s movements to get him in deeper, rubbing himself against Buck to share a little bit of the torture.

“Jesus christ, I’m trying to make it special!” Buck exclaimed with a croaky laugh.

Eddie chuckled, a rumbling sound that went high at the end. “It’s already special because it’s you. Now make it special but faster.”

Buck pulled his finger out but before Eddie could complain he was fucking back in with two. Eddie cried out, face going hot at his own reactions but he didn’t feel any shame whatsoever as he fucked himself back on them, knowing that Buck was just as affected from his helpless whine.

“You’re amazing. You’re so fucking tight, fuck.”

Eddie moaned, the unbridled heat in Buck’s words feeling as good as his fingers curving forward just right and relentless.

“Gonna feel so good around me, yeah? Gonna take me so well.”

Eddie wanted to tease him for having such a filthy mouth but he couldn’t deny how much it was getting to him, how much he wanted more. More of everything Buck was willing to give him.

“I’d give you anything,” Buck answered reverently, making Eddie realize he’d said some of that aloud as his mind dripped hazy.

Eddie threaded his hands through Buck’s hair and rolled his hips in time with Buck’s fingers. “Need you to fuck me. Please, Buck, come on.”

“You’re still too tigh-”

“Don’t care. Please, wanna feel you.”

Buck groaned, rocking up against him. “Eddie, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can feel how big your dick is, show off. You can go slow, just- please.”

Laughing brokenly, Buck didn’t pull out but he did press a third finger in, catching Eddie’s needy moan with a biting kiss. “Want this to feel good for you.”

“I’ll feel good being fucked open.”

“Fucking hell, you’re gonna destroy me.” Buck’s voice went high-pitched when Eddie started kissing at the taut line of his throat, adding teeth when it made Buck keen. Eddie couldn’t see the mess of red he was leaving behind but he was drunk on the noises he could bite out of him.

“I’m gonna make you wait so long when it’s my turn to fuck you,” Eddie panted out with a grumble, pulling at the collar of Buck’s shirt to drag sharper marks down past where they’d be visible, making Buck whine and arche into his mouth.

“Rude,” Buck hissed with a delirious sounding laugh, his other hand curling into Eddie’s hair to keep him there, gripping at it in a way that had Eddie shaking more than he already had been.

Finally, finally, Buck pulled his fingers out, wiping them on Eddie’s sweatpants like an absolute brat and giggling when Eddie said so. When Buck shifted to reach down for what Eddie presumed were condoms, Eddie grabbed his wrist, missing twice but committing.

“Oh, fuck. Really?” Buck asked breathlessly.

“If you, uh, only if you’re cool with it? I figured we get tested for work-”

“Yeah, yes. God, yes.”

“Messy,” Eddie said with a snort, getting a slap to his ass that just made him laugh. “Wanna feel you come in me.”

“Oh, my god. Okay, jesus christ. I can do that. Kind of worried I might do that, like, immediately.”

Eddie grinned, grinding down against him and licking Buck’s cheek until he found his mouth just to be gross.

“Ew!”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

Buck fingers ran over his face, touch incredibly tender considering Eddie was ass out and about to get fucked. “I do. So fucking much.”

Smiling softly, Eddie kissed him properly, putting all of his devotion into it. “I love you. Now put your dick in me, pretty please.”

Buck burst out laughing, the sound bright and perfect against Eddie’s lips.

“Alright, alright. Impatient. How do you want me?”

Eddie exhaled roughly, wishing more than anything that he could see the cheeky look that was most definitely on Buck’s face. He traced it with his mouth instead, kissing across his nose, the apple of his cheek, his jaw.

“Want you on top of me. I can’t look into your eyes all missionary lovey-dovey style, but I still want you close.”

Buck nudged their noses together. “I’d love that. Am I fucking you in your sweatpants or can I finally get you naked? Can I get naked?”

Eddie laughed, it came out more like a giggle, but he could feel Buck’s responding grin against his mouth so he counted it as a win.

Buck curled his arms around Eddie’s waist and leaned them up, letting Eddie yank his shirt off with a giggle of his own. And then he fucking flipped them, because of course he did. Eddie breathed out all at once with a wheezing laugh, lifting his hips so Buck could pull his sweats off and hearing him move around to remove his own clothes.

Feeling a naked Buck lower himself onto him was a fantastic experience, especially when he groaned against Eddie’s throat as Eddie curved up into him.

“Are you still wearing your socks?” Eddie asked with a disbelieving laugh, legs rubbing over Buck’s.

“What? My feet could get chilly!”

“We live in Los Angeles!”

“You have the aircon on full blast!” Buck said it petulantly but Eddie could hear his grin.

“Yeah, cause we live in Los Angeles!”

Buck kissed him quiet, both of them laughing too much to make it good, or even feasible as a kiss.

Eddie stopped laughing with a gasp when Buck grabbed Eddie’s thighs to wrap them around his hips. Eddie felt feverishly warm as Buck pressed him down into the bed, resting his elbow next to Eddie’s head and reaching his other hand down to drip more lube where he was lining himself up.

“Please,” Eddie blurted out, hardly recognizing his own voice as Buck just rubbed up against him, slow and torturous.

“Yeah? Is there something you need?”

“Come on, you fucker.” Eddie smacked his ankles against Buck’s ass for emphasis.

“Does that make you the fuckee?”

“Not if you keep this up- oh. Buck. Buck.”

Buck had barely pushed in and Eddie was already overwhelmed, desperation crashing molten through him for more, more of the too-much too-good feeling, of Buck panting against his cheek, of all of it.

“Tell me if it’s- fuck - tell me if you need me to stop.”

Eddie couldn’t answer, mouth open and useless as his nails scratched across Buck’s shoulders into his hair.

“I’ll take that as a good to keep going?” Buck asked through clenched teeth, sweet laugh strained.

Eddie nodded with a choked off noise, pulling Buck closer and tilting his hips up against him.

“Fuck, don’t you dare stop, keep- please.”

“Yeah, I got you, I got you.”

Buck kept pressing in, just as slow, but devastating in the best of ways. The stretch was exactly what Eddie had wanted, he was almost disappointed there wasn’t more of a sting, just the perfect sensation of being filled, unfamiliar but already addicting. Enough so that Eddie was a little worried he would cry if Buck really were to stop.

“Buck,” Eddie moaned, not knowing what he even wanted to say past that, just feeling the need to hear Buck’s name.

“Fuck, look at you. You’re doing so well, taking me so well, god-” Buck sounded just as fucked out of his mind, especially when Eddie’s grip on his hair tightened.

“Want it,” Eddie mumbled, lips clumsy, and he had a feeling that his vision would have been blurry if he’d been able to see.

Buck paused once he was all the way in, grunting when Eddie clenched around him. Eddie knew he had to give himself a moment too but wanted to keep going anyway.

“Feel so good around me. Perfect, you’re so perfect,” Buck whispered, words slurring, arm trembling next to Eddie’s head.

Eddie craned his neck up for a kiss, moaning in relief when Buck met him in the middle as he pulled almost all the way out before fucking back in, not really moving any faster but still shaking a whine out of Eddie at the small taste of what he wanted.

Buck didn’t need Eddie to ask, already knowing what he needed as he slowly started rolling his hips, chasing the high noises Eddie couldn’t seem to stop making.

“Eddie, you- god, I’m not even really fucking you yet and I’m already about to lose it.” Buck huffed, winded but smiling against Eddie’s mouth.

“Is it always this intense or am I just extra sensitive because of the whole temporary blindness thing?” Eddie asked, voice cracking quiet when Buck rocked forward with a little more force.

Buck let out a low wheezy laugh, lips dragging over Eddie’s with every careful movement, like he was still worried about going too fast for Eddie. Or maybe for himself.

“It’s a lot for me, too. Fuck, you have no idea.”

Eddie went to grin but Buck chose that moment to fuck in properly, not pausing before pulling back to do it again and not stopping. Eddie made a series of helpless noises, inadvertently clawing at Buck’s nape as he tried to find purchase, clinging onto him like Buck was his only lifeline.

Eddie always figured he’d enjoy getting fucked in a vague distant way, he’d just never really found anyone he could trust enough for it, anyone he wanted it with. It had never been part of his fantasies until he’d realized that he was in love with Buck over the months, or years, it had taken him, but, god, he never could have predicted how much he would love it.

Buck fucked him like he was made for it, like they both were, and Eddie wanted nothing more than to feel every part of it, to take it. To let himself feel good. That, and hearing Buck absolutely fall apart above him was just as good as Eddie tilted up to swallow his needy moans until they ran out of breath all over again.

“Wish you could see yourself right now, you look so beautiful,” Buck babbled, mouth open against Eddie’s cheek when Eddie curved up into him. “So pretty for me.”

Eddie didn’t think he’d ever been called pretty before, at least not like this, and it flooded through him shiny and sweet, making his skin tingle everywhere Buck was touching him, spreading out through his veins until all he could do was whine and beg for more.

Eddie had always been a giver in bed, in every sense, getting most of his pleasure from his partner’s, so he never knew he could love being so vulnerable so fucking much. He had a feeling anything with Buck would feel new and incredible and, fuck, he couldn’t wait to find out.

Until then, he was too busy getting fucked within an inch of his life and that was with Buck holding back and still purposefully avoiding his prostate, like he knew Eddie was already barely hanging on.

“Buck,” Eddie whispered between moans that were getting distressingly loud past his control. “Please.”

Buck leaned up just enough to change the angle until Eddie cried out, fingers probably going too tight in Buck’s hair but he couldn’t get them to relax as Buck fucked him harder.

Eddie felt like he was losing his grip on reality. It was a heady feeling, exhilarating in the best kind of way that might have made him laugh in delight if he weren’t preoccupied with trying not to shake apart as the heat in him built up beyond what he thought was possible.

At least Eddie wasn’t alone in that because Buck didn’t sound like he was doing much better, his rough noises getting high and stuttered from his panting. His rhythm somehow wasn’t faltering, though, his determination to make Eddie come first obvious, especially when he sped up the closer Eddie got to coming undone.

“Eddie, I’m- please, want you to come for me,” Buck rasped, desperation clear as he confirmed Eddie’s theory in what was left of his hazy mind. “Need it.”

And who was Eddie to deny him? Not that he had a choice, orgasm already crashing through him loud and thunderous as he arched up hard enough for his neck to twinge. He didn’t know what noise he made but it had his ears ringing while the rest of him unraveled endlessly to the gorgeous sound of Buck following him over the edge.

Eddie was used to coming quickly, efficiently, of getting past it so he could remain aware for whatever was needed from him next, never allowing himself to get lost in pleasure because that had always seemed like a luxury that wasn’t for him. It was an unconscious thing he didn’t even know he could break through. Until Buck.

Until Buck made him come so hard he was pretty sure he was crying. The realization made him giggle a little deliriously, hugging Buck close and trembling so much he couldn’t get his thighs to unlock from around Buck’s hips.

“You fucked me stupid,” Eddie gasped out with a blissful laugh he pressed into a clumsy kiss.

Buck was grinning against his lips, breathing so heavily he couldn’t really kiss back so Eddie happily nuzzled his cheek instead.

“I love you so fucking much,” Buck whispered, voice raspy and broken.

Eddie’s chest was a bit tight from how winded he was. It was wonderful. “I love you. God, I love you.”

Buck went fully limp, dropping down on top of him with a giggle when Eddie grunted. Eddie’s floaty headspace was so amazing he didn’t even mind feeling empty again. He was however a tad worried about how much he enjoyed being able to feel Buck’s come leaking out of him. Interesting.

“So, the reviews are in and they’re positive?” Buck asked with another laugh as Eddie huffed.

“Don’t let this go to your head, but that was easily the best sex I’ve ever had, by a longshot. Not even comparable, to be honest.”

“Sweet, I’ll be quoting that at every party from here on out. Also, same.”

Eddie laughed, a croaky thing.

“Is now a good time to tell you that we’ve been at this for nearly three hours and that we missed lunch?”

Chuckling, Eddie rolled them onto their sides so they could cuddle, sticky and gross. Buck snuggled closer, throwing his leg over Eddie and taking his turn to press his face against Eddie’s throat. Buck had lost a sock at some point.

“You make me so happy,” Eddie breathed, Buck’s hair sticking to his bottom lip. “And I’m not just saying that because you’ve got mad dick game.”

Buck laughed again, squeezing Eddie with weak arms. “That’s all I want, for you to be as happy as you make me feel.”

Eddie lifted a weak arm of his own to run his fingers down the side of Buck’s face, tucking his thumb in the dip of his smile and scritching under his chin just to make him giggle.

“Are we napping, showering, or eating first?”

“We’re basking,” Buck answered, like it was obvious.

“I can do that. Don’t think I could stand up right now anyway.”

Eddie moved his hand to rub over Buck’s back, coming down to rest over his ass after giving it an appreciative little pat that made Buck chuckle.

They both fell asleep within seconds.

Showering was a grumbly and giggly experience, as was changing the sheets before they immediately dirtied them again by eating their late lunch in bed between lazy dopey kisses.

After picking Christopher up from school, they went over to the station just to hang out because Eddie missed it and he knew that Buck did too. Eddie got so many hugs his arms were starting to ache which was a fantastic feeling.

Nothing compared to how many he got when Christopher announced that Buck and Eddie were boyfriends. Eddie might have lost some of his hearing from how loud everyone got all at once. Ravi even picked him up and spun him around. Chimney gave them a ten minute talk about being kind to one another, Bobby basically gave them the exact same talk right afterwards with slightly less crying.

They stayed for dinner, getting lucky with the timing when they got to eat an entire meal before the alarm went off because some guy had duct-taped himself to his ceiling fan.

It was way past Christopher’s bedtime by the time they left but Eddie allowed him to stay up a tad longer so they could share some cake Bobby had sent them home with.

Later, when Buck unraveled the bandages Eddie gasped because he could see Buck’s smile. It was blurry as fuck but it was there and Eddie could even kiss it to celebrate. Eddie wasn’t supposed to swap out the gauze for sunglasses until the following morning but they figured they could get away with changing up the schedule just a tiny bit.

Eddie felt ridiculous wearing sunglasses indoors, but the dark tinted vision felt leagues better than complete darkness and he couldn’t stop smiling as he walked around the house just to see it.

It was all really hazy and he still smashed his foot against the damn hallway shoe rack but he did so, like, happily because he could vaguely tell that his toe was getting red and he got to watch Buck’s face go from worried to confused but amused.

Eddie fell asleep to the feeling of Buck removing his sunglasses and kissing his forehead, his socked feet tangled with his.

The next morning, Eddie just thought his eyes hadn’t adapted to being awake yet as he stared at Buck smacking his lips a couple times in his sleep before Eddie remembered that he’d been blind in the first place. It made him grin and kind of wiggle excitedly, accidentally waking Buck up in the process. His vision was still messed up, but he could see it happening, Buck opening one eye and smiling when he saw Eddie next to him, unaware that Eddie was watching him until their eyes met.

Buck inhaled shakily as his smile grew before he was rolling on top of Eddie and kissing him tearfully. Eddie laughed and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a little wiggle too.

“I’d forgotten how pretty you were,” Eddie said between perfect morning breath kisses.

Buck snorted, nosing against Eddie’s cheek. “Lies and slander.”

“You’re right, but it’s still really nice being able to see your face again. Fuzzy as it may be.”

“Something something love is blind.” Buck grinned when Eddie laughed.

Eddie cupped Buck’s cheeks, taking in his sweet smile and the pillow creases around his birthmark. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever mostly seen.”

Buck rolled his eyes but Eddie got to watch a blush bloom between his palms. It was amazing.

“Wanna go wake Christopher up?”

Eddie smiled giddily and nodded, rolling them to the other side of the bed, only daring to because he could actually tell where the edge was now.

Christopher didn’t even realize that Eddie was looking him in the eye for a good few minutes, too busy telling them all about his wild dream where he could conjure pies at will. When he did notice, he squealed and threw himself into Eddie’s arms.

“You can see again!”

“Not quite all the way back to normal, there’s still some healing to do, but yeah, I can see again! We’re gonna be glasses buddies for a few days because I have to wear sunglasses until my vision is fully back.”

“Have I changed at all?” Christopher asked with a giggle, nudging their foreheads together.

“I can hardly recognize you! You’re all grown up!”

Christopher laughed, squishing Eddie’s cheeks. “No I’m not!”

“I swear you’re almost eight feet tall now! Did you not notice?”

“You’re silly!” Christopher exclaimed, wide grin matching Eddie’s.

Eddie allowed them to have breakfast in front of morning cartoons just because they thought it’d be funny to see if he could figure out what was happening with his limited vision through the sunglasses. Turns out, children’s cartoons are easy to understand just by shapes and vibes alone.

He almost cried when they left the house to take Christopher to school and he got to look at the sun. He had to squint and it made his eyes water but he did it anyway until Christopher nudged him forward, happily grumbling about being late.

At least the sunglasses made sense when they were outside, so he asked Buck to go on a walk with him after they’d dropped Christopher off. They walked for so long their feet hurt by the time they got back to the car, holding hands the entire time.

After lunch back home, Eddie was the one who pulled Buck into a dance even though there wasn’t any music playing. He just wanted Buck in his arms as they swayed in the living room, he wanted to see Buck’s smile when Buck dipped him and pulled him back up into a soft kiss.

Eddie had never been so excited to do chores before, finally able to properly help Buck around the house as they did some cleaning and reorganized the pantry, which made for an amusing experience since Eddie couldn’t really read the labels yet.

Buck read on the couch while Eddie had another video therapy session in the bedroom. Frank was openly gleeful about everything Eddie had to tell him, especially the Buck news, even letting out a ‘jesus christ it’s about time’ that made Eddie scoff in mock offense, smiling too much to pull it off.

Feeling a bit drained in a good way, Eddie laid down on top of Buck and asked him to read to him while he dozed. It was perfect.

At the hospital that afternoon he was told that he was healing beautifully and promised that he’d be able to stop wearing sunglasses the next day and go back to work three days after that.

After school was out, they went over to Maddie and Chimney’s place for dinner. Maddie took Buck into the next room and he came out grinning with red eyes as he went over to kiss Eddie before Maddie came over to hug Eddie, which he gratefully accepted as her enthusiastic blessing.

Jee-Yun was really confused by the fact that Eddie could see her again. She didn’t seem convinced, using all of her toddler wits to test him, like she was playing peekaboo with him instead of the reverse. Object permanence apparently confirmed, she spent the rest of the afternoon giggling happily every time Eddie did anything, including sneezing.

Every morning after that, Eddie woke up to his vision getting clearer and clearer, gaged by looking at Buck who really made for an excellent eye test. Christopher’s drawings would have worked just as well had he not sneakily been adding more things to them every day just to mess with Eddie. They were fantastic all the same.

The day before Eddie was cleared to go back to work, they spent the day lazing around in bed, getting snack crumbs everywhere, and finishing Buck’s novel with Eddie doing the reading aloud.

Some time later, Eddie had the breathtaking honor of watching Buck ride him until he came crying out Eddie’s name. He got to see the bruises his fingertips left on Buck’s hips and the hickeys Buck painted his inner thighs with. He got to witness Buck coming a second time as he gently fucked Eddie’s throat.

Eddie didn’t get to see shit during his own second orgasm with Buck on his knees behind him in the shower because he got shampoo in his eyes right as he went over the edge. The stinging was worth it when Buck was the one rinsing him off with giggles and soapy kisses.

At the end of their first shift back they went to the pound solely for information - a lie neither of them believed - and obviously ended up adopting the first dog who showed them an abundance of affection and zero discipline. He was apparently part golden retriever, part poodle, but his main personality trait seemed to be joyful nuisance.

Eddie even let himself be convinced to name him Bucket when both Christopher and Buck tearfully begged him to while Bucket happily rolled around in the dirt and tried to inhale a dandelion.

Bucket was kind of a menace, but they loved him unconditionally anyway. Even when he chewed through half the linen closet and had a tendency to knock into everything around him when he was excited. The hallway shoe rack was officially retired after the third time Bucket barrelled into it and then proceeded to slobber all over the shoes that fell out.

Christopher was the only one who could train him to do anything and Eddie had a sneaking suspicion that’s how Bucket learned how to pull Buck’s socks off during the night without waking him up.