Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nico knew that his neck was stiff before he’d even fully woken up. He didn’t understand how he hadn’t broken in the couch after sleeping on it for almost two years, or how his body hadn’t adjusted to the lumpy cushions.

His alarm sounded from his phone where it laid on the coffee table just out of arm’s reach, and he groaned as he waved a hand uselessly in its direction. He would’ve just thrown himself off the couch if it weren’t for the weight on his chest.

“Bruce,” Nico groaned, trying to be kind to his cat by giving him the option of freeing Nico, rather than starting off the morning by antagonizing the creature. Normally, the sound of Nico’s alarm startled Bruce awake and had him using Nico’s gut as a springboard, but not today. Maybe, somehow, Bruce knew that today’s especially early alarm meant that Nico was going to be out of the house all day - not moping around and offering Bruce frequent cuddles as he deserved, as he was now used to.

“Bruce.” Nico switched tactics, poking the cat in the side, which only caused him to mrrp in displeasure before settling in further. Nico was pretty sure he could feel the tips of sharp claws extending into his t-shirt, as if Bruce was prepared to stay put no matter the cost. 

Nico sighed. “Alright, you asked for this.” He wrapped his arms around Bruce to hold him in place as he sat up. He kept Bruce cradled against his chest as he shut off his alarm and rose from the couch, moving toward the kitchen first to start a pot of coffee. Bruce didn’t seem to mind the change of position - he always seemed to be happy, as long as he could be close to Nico.

Which meant that he certainly wasn’t happy about being deposited on Nico’s unmade bed while Nico dug through his dresser for something to wear.

He didn’t really care about first impressions, especially around people who would probably automatically judge him for being twenty-five in freshman-level classes, but he couldn’t let himself dress like a slob no matter how much his depression was begging him to. He could be comfortable in a loose t-shirt and black jeans that were more tear than denim - and he at least looked like he tried that way. 

He scooped Bruce up again on his way out of the room - and seriously, an outsider would think that his cat was incapable of walking on his own - and pulled the door shut behind him. Nico had to set Bruce down again on the kitchen floor so that he could make his coffee and scrounge up something to eat, though not before he poured a scoop of food into Bruce’s bowl.

He was hoping that he might be able to sneak out while Bruce was distracted, though as soon as Nico went back to the living room to retrieve his phone and the backpack he’d packed up the night before, Bruce came running after him, shouting for attention. Nico lifted him up once more, listening as Bruce instantly began to purr, and Nico pressed a kiss to the top of his head before pressing their foreheads together.

“I have to go, Brucie,” Nico whispered to his cat, “but I’ll be home soon, okay? And we can cuddle all you want when I get back.”

Bruce leaned back and meowed in Nico’s face. Nico wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be an argument or an agreement, but either way, he had to leave. He turned toward the couch and allowed Bruce to jump out of his arms and onto the cushion, then grabbed his things and made for the door.

Bruce watched him leave from his perch on the couch, his head tilting in confusion at being left alone, and Nico’s heart broke at the sight.

“Play with your fishy,” Nico told him, and he walked out the front door.

He shut the door behind himself and had to lean back against it for a moment, reminding himself that it was his choice to go back to college - it was something he wanted as much as it was something Jason had wanted for him.

Nico stepped out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth to find Jason sneaking snacks into his backpack, a travel mug of coffee sitting nearby on the coffee table.

“What are you doing?” Nico asked, crossing his arms and leaning his shoulder against the nearest wall, watching his husband with a fond look in his eyes.

Jason’s head snapped up so quickly that his glasses slid down his nose. He grinned as he pushed them back up and announced, “I packed you snacks! And I have your coffee ready for you. And I put an extra phone charger in the front pocket here, just in case you need it.”

Nico snorted as he pushed off the wall. “Thanks, mom.”  

Jason pouted. “Hey, I’m just trying to make sure your first day of classes goes perfectly.”  

“It’s already going to be perfect,” Nico replied, reaching out for his husband and draping his arms over his shoulders.

Jason’s arms wound loosely around his waist, and he tipped forward to rest his forehead against Nico’s. “Yeah? And why’s that - because I’ll be waiting here with open arms once you get home to hear all about your day?” 

Nico grinned. “Because I’m starting off with my creative writing class, and then this afternoon is European history. I don’t even have to think about taking a math or science class until next semester.” 

“You loved math in high school,” Jason argued. “You were always so good at it!” 

“Only because I had a good tutor.” Nico rose up on his toes, pulling Jason into a kiss, though Jason leaned back after the initial contact.

“Sorry to ruin the mood, but you’ll have to thank Leo for that. I would’ve failed math if it weren’t for him.” 

Nico huffed and shoved Jason away overdramatically. “You’re right - mood ruined,” he teased. He turned to start collecting his things before he heard a tiny squeak and felt little pinpricks poking at his calf through the fabric of his jeans. Nico glanced down to find their cat - still a kitten, really - stretching up the side of Nico’s leg. “Oh, Brucie. At least you still love me.” 

Nico swooped down and lifted the kitten into his arms, cradling him like a baby. “Look at him, Jase. I can’t leave him all day! He’s never been home alone for so long, and he’s going to miss me way too much.” 

Jason stepped closer, winding an arm around Nico’s waist while he scratched behind Bruce’s ears with his other hand. “He’s survived without me well enough.”

“Because he had me. We’ve bonded so much over missing you all day, every day. How can I leave him when I know you won’t be home for hours? Maybe I should just hold off on going back to school.” There - finally, Nico had found a way to give voice to his anxiety in a way that wouldn’t make Jason overreact.

“Baby,” Jason cooed, “you’ve been wanting to go back to school for so long. Don’t let Bruce be the thing that holds you back.”

Nico took a deep breath, turning in Jason’s hold so that he could face him. “But… What if it’s not just Bruce? I mean, I’m going to have to transfer schools the next time you get reassigned to a new base, so… Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to wait a little while longer anyway before I go diving in head first?” 

Jason’s arm tightened around his waist, and he reached up to brush a lock of hair behind NIco’s ear. “You have done so much work to get yourself into college. Those scholarships you found aren’t going to last forever - I mean, sure, the army spouse thing, that’ll be good for a while still, but the rest of them? If you don’t start today, you’ll lose all of them. And the longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be for you to get accepted to schools. And… And what’s that thing about how the best time to start something is yesterday, so the second best time is today?” 

Nico scoffed, and buried his face in Jason’s chest so that he wouldn’t be able to see the way that Nico’s eyes had begun to shine. How was it that Jason always knew exactly what Nico needed to hear? “Why did I have to marry a walking motivational poster?” Nico grumbled.

Jason pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Because you love me. Now--” He pulled back, holding his hands out between them. “--give me my baby so that you can get ready to go.” 

Nico pouted, but he pressed a kiss to the top of Bruce’s head before passing him over. He grabbed his backpack and his travel mug, and started toward the door where he pulled Jason’s high school varsity jacket off the hook. It was August, which meant it was way too hot to be wearing a jacket, but it was nice to have the comfort of knowing that his husband was with him, even if he was across the city. And, who knew? Maybe one of Nico’s professors would end up blasting the A/C, and he would have to bundle up to make it through the day. 

Behind him, Nico heard Jason coaxing Bruce to play with his fishy - a toy that Percy had gotten for him shortly after Bruce’s adoption day, which Percy claimed was part of his quest to convince all cats that fish are friends, not food. When Nico glanced back over his shoulder, he saw Bruce on his back on the floor, holding his fishy to his chest with his front paws while trying to rip out his fishy’s guts with his back claws like the good little predator he was.

While the cat was distracted, Jason joined Nico by the door, stepping into his shoes and grabbing his keys from the bowl. “Ready to go?” Jason asked, and Nico’s heart soared. 

“Are you driving me to campus?”

Jason’s head tilted to the side. “What? No, I was going to take you to the bus stop. Campus is all the way across town from the base, and I have to start doing weapons training with the newbies today, so I really can’t be late. But the bus stop is better than nothing, right?”

Nico huffed. “I get it. You love your job more than me.” 

“Nico,” Jason whined, wrapping his arms around NIco to pull him close, “you know that’s not true! You know I love you more than anything else in the world.” 

“I know,” Nico replied, “I was only teasing.” He lifted himself up on his toes to press a kiss to Jason’s lips. “C’mon, before we’re both late.” 

Nico had a campus map open on his phone. He knew the basic layout of all of the buildings on campus, but that didn’t mean he had any idea where he was supposed to go inside the science building. He’d dropped out of school - or, taken a break, as Hazel always corrected him - before he’d ever gotten around to taking a single science class.

The map he had available only showed the main floor of the building, so Nico counted himself lucky that he hadn’t signed up for a lab, otherwise he probably would’ve wandered around the building’s basement endlessly without ever stumbling across the right room. As it was, Nico mostly followed the flow of students through the halls until he reached the right room number, and caught a glimpse of someone standing in the doorway.

He stopped in his tracks. 

At first glance, at the sight of blond hair and blue eyes that seemed to tower over everyone else that walked by, Nico thought he saw Jason. Never mind the fact that Jason’s hair hadn’t been the color of straw, and it had never curled quite so much. Jason’s eyes had been icier, not the color of a cloudless sky, and even on the rare occasion that he’d managed a tan, he’d never developed so many freckles.

It was stupid of Nico to think that his dead husband stood in the doorway in front of him, passing out syllabi to the teenagers that walked into the classroom, but no amount of scolding himself would ever stop him from nearly panicking. 

If he hadn’t been frozen to the floor, he might’ve turned on his heel and run straight back out of the building. But he had to force himself to think more clearly - there was no way this guy could be Nico’s professor; he was too young. He was probably just a student worker who had come to unlock the door when the professor forgot the code, and got stuck passing out syllabi to every student that entered the room. Nico would probably never have to see him again.

He could survive that. He could unglue his feet from the floor, and take a step forward.

Blue eyes met his, and Nico’s nerves caught up to him again.

“Hey,” tall and blond and freckled called out to him, smiling brightly in a way that made Nico think he probably smiled in his sleep, “are you looking for Bio 103?”

He had the slightest twang to his voice, one that stretched out the vowels and dropped the ends of a few words. Nothing like the way Jason ever spoke. Nico forced himself to nod.

“You’re in the right place!” He held a paper out toward Nico, forcing him to take the next few steps to eliminate the space between them and take the paper from his hand. “My name is Will - I’ll be your TA for the semester. Go on in, take a seat wherever you’d like.”

Nico dropped his gaze to the floor and hurried into the room. There was an open seat at a desk on the opposite side of the room from the door, so Nico went straight for it, hoping to put as much distance between himself and the TA as possible. He hadn’t really wanted to sit in the front row, but it would have to do for now. He could always switch things up when he came back to class next week. 

After a few minutes, the steady stream of bodies into the room came to a stop, and a man in a wheelchair with a greying beard made his way to the front of the room. Nico really tried his hardest to pay attention as the man introduced himself, but he was too focused on the TA - Will, he said his name was - closing the door to the classroom and making his way across the room to sit behind what Nico had assumed was the professor’s desk.

He caught Nico staring, and smiled in a way that made butterflies spark to life in Nico’s stomach the way they hadn’t since Jason died. 

Nico turned his attention back to the professor just after he’d finished introducing himself, and listened as he said, “Let’s take a minute to go around the room to get to know each other. We’ll start at the end of the room with Will, our TA for this semester.” 

He gestured to Will, who raised his hand in a wave but didn’t do anything else to draw attention to him - not like the entire room didn’t already have eyes on him. For good reason; if Nico hadn’t been married, he might’ve spent his time looking more appreciatively. 

Fuck, he couldn’t let himself think like that.

“Howdy,” Will said, his smile growing brighter as if he’d just told a joke he was particularly proud of. “Like Chiron said, I’m Will, I’m your TA. If y’all need help with anything this semester, don’t hesitate to reach out! I’m a senior bio major on the pre-med track, I’m originally from Texas, and I usually spend my free time applying for medical schools, but I do also enjoy a good movie marathon.” 

He looked to Nico almost expectantly as he finished introducing himself, and Nico’s heart fluttered in his chest. Was Will trying to flirt with him? Was that supposed to be his way of letting Nico know that he’d say yes if Nico asked him out to the movies?

After a second, Nico realized that nobody else was speaking, and fuck, Nico was supposed to introduce himself next. That’s why Will was looking at him like that!

“Um.” Nico cleared his throat. “My name is Nico.” He forced himself to look away from Will, towards Chiron instead. He would not be going to Will for help at all that semester, so he should make sure Chiron knew his name and face. “I’m… I think I’m a sophomore, technically? I’m not sure, I just… I’m picking up classes again after…a break. And I haven’t declared a major.” 

Chiron nodded his head once, acknowledging that he’d heard, and then turned his attention to the girl to Nico’s left. Nico didn’t bother listening as she spoke, too worried about calming his racing heart and trying to steal glances at Will out of the corner of his eye. 

Once introductions reached the other half of the classroom, it became much easier for Nico to steal looks, since Will’s attention was directed away from him. He paid close attention to the way that Will’s smile softened but never fully disappeared. He noted the way that Will’s eyes lit up whenever someone shared a particularly interesting fact about themself, and how his lips stretched out into a wide grin when one of Nico’s classmates told a joke. A very important discovery that Nico made was the fact that Will had dimples, and Nico was pretty sure that they were slightly lopsided, though he needed Will to turn toward him one more time for Nico to be absolutely certain.

Before he knew it, Chiron was dismissing the class, and Nico hadn’t done a single thing but stare at Will for the entire two hours.

Nico felt like somebody had poured a bucket of ice water down his back as shame covered him.

How dare he even look at somebody else again?

Nico was better about paying attention for the next two weeks. The scholarships he’d fought to get back were contingent on him doing well in his classes, which meant he couldn’t let himself get distracted by pretty boys - even if one pretty boy in particular seemed to end up teaching in Bio 103 more than the actual professor did. 

He was confident that he’d be able to make his way through the semester while ignoring Will to the best of his abilities, which was why he didn’t see any rush in packing up his things when class ended that day. Will had been leaving him be for the most part, so he should be in the clear to pack up and head out at his own pace.

He’d just zipped up his backpack and gotten to his feet when he glanced up to see Will standing in front of his desk, his own backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Uh, hey!” Will said, almost seeming…nervous, though his usual bright smile hid it well. “I just wanted to check in and make sure you’re doing alright with the coursework. I think I’ve already gotten messages from, like, everyone in the class besides you, so either you’re the only one who’s actually been paying attention, or you’re nervous about reaching out. And I wanted to remind you not to worry about that! It’s what I’m here for - and I know first hand how difficult it can be to jump back into things after taking a break. I mean, it’s not exactly the same, and I don’t mean to say I know what you’re going through…whatever it is, but, uh, I had to take some time off in high school when my brother died, and had a hell of a time getting back into things when I finally came back, so. Like I said, I’m here to help if you need it! Because us twenty-somethings gotta stick together, you know? Especially when we’re outnumbered by so many teenagers.” 

Nico’s mind couldn’t move fast enough to process everything Will was saying to him, but when he was pretty sure he’d at least gotten the gist, he replied, “Oh, uh, thanks. I mean, I think I’m good, but thanks for checking in.” 

Something about Will’s smile…cracked. “Right! Because that’s my job! But, um. Just to be safe, I mean-- I know you have my email from the syllabus, but if you want, we can trade phone numbers. I always check my texts more often than my emails, so it’s really a better way to get a hold of me if you have any questions about the assignments - and that way, you can call me, too, if you need me to walk you through anything!” 

Nico didn’t remember having TAs in any of his classes during his last attempt at college, so he wasn’t sure if Will was being pushy or if he was exceptionally caring and dedicated to his job. But Nico had another class to get to across campus, and he wasn’t sure that Will would let him go without an argument.

(And, a voice in the back of Nico’s mind added, was it really the worst thing in the world to have a pretty boy’s phone number?)

“Sure,” Nico said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it before he handed it over. 

Will accepted the phone with an even brighter grin than before. “Cool.” He entered his phone number, and after a moment, handed the phone back to Nico. “I sent myself a text, too. I hope that’s okay.” 

Nico shrugged and repeated, “Sure.” He checked the time on his phone before slipping it back into his pocket. “Um. I have another class to get to, so--”

“Oh, right! Sorry,” Will said, taking a step back and leading the way out of the classroom. “Where are you headed?”

“The social studies building,” Nico answered, walking side by side with Will as they made their way to the front of the building. “I’ve been taking a bunch of gen eds while I figure out what I want to do, and Ancient Civ was the only thing that fit into my schedule that counted toward the world cultures credit.”

Will held open the door for Nico to walk outside, which gave Nico an opportunity to see the way that Will’s nose scrunched up as he said, “Ugh, I hate history classes. It’s always just, like, mindless memorization of dates and places and the names of random white dudes.”

Nico muttered, “Says the random white dude.”

“Oh!” Will exclaimed. “He has jokes!” Nico rolled his eyes and picked up his pace in the hopes that he could keep Will from seeing the beginnings of his smile, but Will and those damn long legs of his caught up to him no problem. “Wait, are you, like, a history buff? This is great! Maybe we can study together - I can help you with biology, and you can help me with history!”

“Hang on,” Nico said, “aren’t you getting paid to help people with their homework? How’s that fair to me?” 

Will shrugged. “I’ll buy you coffee, or something, and in return, you’ll teach me all your tricks for memorizing dates and shit.” 

“Aren’t you applying for medical school?” Nico shot back. “Isn’t that, like, all about memorization?”

“Aw, so somebody was listening on syllabus day!” Will cooed, and Nico felt himself start to blush, thinking he’d been caught red handed when Will continued, “Seriously, you would not believe how many times I’ve said that I’m going to be a doctor on the first day, only to have every person in the class be surprised when I bring it up again. But anyway, medical stuff is, like, actually interesting. Why should I care about which dude started what war for some petty reason?” 

“Because they’re not all petty,” Nico explained. “And they’re not all wars. They’re revolutions, and it’s when people throw the word war around like it perfectly describes every fight that makes people hate sitting down and learning about all of the political changes throughout history.”

He glanced up at Will, ready to see if he was going to have to debate his way out of the conversation, only to find Will smiling softly down at him as they walked.

“Alright, you got me,” Will told him. “Maybe I’ll learn a thing or two from you that I never got from any of my history classes.” 

Nico’s heart started beating harder in his chest. 

Nico and Will made a habit of crossing campus together after Bio 103. It turned out that Will was completing one of his own graduation requirements, having put off his history credit until the last possible second - which was likely why he’d been so eager to have Nico help him out. 

Will usually had something or other to clean up or put away at the end of each class, so Nico would take his time packing up until Will was ready to leave, and they would head out of the building together. While Will shoved cell models and whatever other props Chiron had used for that day’s lecture back into one of the classroom’s cabinets, Nico checked his phone, noting that he had a couple of texts waiting for him.

[From: Annabeth; Are we still on for dinner this weekend? Percy has a new Italian recipe he wants to try out that he thinks will impress you, and I have the pizza place on speed dial just in case it doesn’t.]

[From: Percy; u know im in this chain too right]

Nico snorted. Knowing the two of them, they were probably sitting next to each other while sending those messages - he knew he had been the same way with Jason.

[To: Annabeth, Percy; can’t this weekend. too much homework. maybe next week?]

“Hey,” Will said, and Nico’s head snapped up from his phone, “ready to go?” 

Nico straightened up from where he’d been leaning against the front of his desk and slid his phone into his pocket. “Yeah, ready,” he replied, grinning up at Will and feeling something in his chest start to buzz at the sight of Will’s smile.

Nico had gotten to learn a lot more about Will over the last few weeks, just from their post-Bio walks across campus. Will had shared some of what it was like growing up in Texas, and told Nico just some of the reasons why he wanted to become a doctor. In their very limited time before the start of Nico’s next class, he’d even been helping Nico narrow down what he might decide to major in - even if it was through a process of elimination, where Will rambled on about all of the things he’d wanted to major in, and Nico started crossing them off of his own mental list.

Every so often, Will would say something - it wasn’t even necessarily what he said but how he said it - or he would look at Nico in this one specific way of his, and Nico would start to wonder, is he flirting with me?  

Will always seemed like he was just an incredibly kind person, so Nico was probably just misreading his usual kindness. Sometimes, though, Nico wondered what might happen if he tried to flirt back - and then before he could take those thoughts too far, the guilt would settle in lock a rock sinking into his stomach. How could he think that way when he was technically still married?

Was he still technically married?

It wasn’t like he and Jason had ever broken up. But it wasn’t like they would ever have the chance to, now. And if he and Jason were no longer together, then why did Nico still feel like he was cheating whenever he so much as looked at Will the wrong way?

Nico wasn’t even sure he liked Will in a romantic sense. He just knew that he liked Will. He wanted to spend more time with him than fifteen minutes once a week to walk across campus. He wanted to text him about things that weren’t homework related. He wanted to invite Will over for a movie marathon just as an excuse to hang out with him for an entire day, even if they would barely end up interacting the entire time.

He almost specifically didn’t want anything romantic with Will, mostly because he was afraid of ruining everything due to his own internalized… everything. How could he give someone like Will - someone with so much energy and lightness to them - what they deserve when he couldn’t stomach the guilt of being with someone who wasn’t his dead husband?

It was thoughts like those that made Nico glad to be unsure as to whether or not Will was actually flirting with him. The pressure of either having to flirt back or turn him down was too much, so he would happily play oblivious. 

And when Will suddenly said, “Hey, I have a paper for my history class that I’d appreciate a second set of eyes on once I get it finished. Do you think we could meet up sometime, so you could give me some pointers on it?” Nico jumped at the chance to spend more time with Will, even if it was just one day more in the following week.

It was the little things - first it was proofreading Will’s paper in the library in between classes, and then maybe someday they’d be close enough to spend time together without homework of any kind involved at all.

Nico had told himself he would work on homework until Jason got home. It was a system he usually put in place, since Jason had a pretty regular schedule, and it allowed them time to get each other up to speed on how their days went while they figured out what to have for dinner. 

The only time that this system didn’t work as planned was on nights like tonight, when Jason was running late, and hadn’t gotten the chance to let Nico know what time he would be on his way. 

Part of Nico wanted to shove his textbooks aside and give Jason a call so that he could at least have dinner ready for him by the time he got home, but he also really needed to finish his discussion board responses. Ten more minutes, he’d decided, and whether he was done with his questions or not, he would call Jason.

He stuck his nose back into his textbook, scanning the pages for any worthless quote that he could pretend supported his point - because the professor was looking for quotation marks and page citations, not actually going back into the book to make sure the class was interpreting the reading correctly (that was what discussion boards were for anyway, right?) - when there was a knock on the door. 

No, less of a knock, and more of a pounding.

It wasn’t like Jason to knock so heavily on the door, so forcefully or fast. If he’d stopped for groceries on the way home and his hands were full so he couldn’t reach his keys, then sure, he might knock with his foot instead of a fist, but still never quite like that. The only person Nico had ever known to knock so urgently was his sister Hazel, who wouldn’t have come by without texting first, because she was too polite to ever intrude. 

He almost wanted to ignore the door, but if it was Jason, and if something was wrong…

Nico glanced toward the living room, spotting Bruce perched on the back of the couch, looking to the door and then back to Nico as if asking whether or not Jason was on the other side. 

Nico pushed himself to his feet and made his way toward the door, and Bruce perked up in anticipation. Nico barely had a second to register that Hazel was on the other side before she was darting forward and pulling Nico a hug, burying her face in his shoulder.

“Oh god, Nico,” she whispered, and Nico quickly realized that she was crying, and he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to provide any amount of comfort he could manage. “I’m so sorry - I came as fast as I could. I can’t believe this is happening, he was just--” She choked on a sob, her arms tightening around him. “Oh god, Nico!” 

Nico guided Hazel out of the doorway far enough that he could shut the door, then resumed running his hands up and down her back, soothingly. “Hazel, what are you talking about? What’s wrong?” She gasped, and Nico pulled back to meet her eyes. “Is it Frank? Did something happen to him?” 

Hazel’s mouth fell open, her red-rimmed eyes widening in horror. “You don’t know,” she whispered, and her hands came up to cover her mouth. “Oh my god, you don’t know.”  

Nico frowned. “What don’t I know? Hazel, you’re freaking me out.” 

She pressed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and finally lowered her hands. She reached out, closing a hand around Nico’s wrist, and started leading him further into the house until they could sit beside each other on the couch, angled to face one another. 

She couldn’t seem to meet his eyes as she squeezed his hands. “Nico, I need you to listen to me very clearly, because I’m only going to be able to say this once, okay?”

Nico squeezed her hands back. “Whatever happened, it’s going to be okay, Haze. Jason and I, we’ll take care of you. You know that, right?” 

Hazel sobbed once more, ducking her head and shutting her eyes, and Nico wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her, but she wouldn’t let go of his hands. “Frank told me--” She started, but had to pause to breathe before she could continue on. “You know how Frank and Jason were leading weapons training with the new recruits? Frank told me that… That something happened - a misfire, or… Or something, they’re not sure yet. He thinks it’s under investigation for now but… Nico, a… A gun went off when it wasn’t supposed to, and Jason--” Her voice pitched higher with his name, like it hurt her just to say it. “Jay was hit, and--”

“What?” Nico was on his feet in an instant. “Hazel, what the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me? We have to go-- What hospital is he at? Hazel, let go--” He tried tugging his hands free, though Hazel kept trying to pull him back down to the couch. “We have to go!” 

She was shaking her head so fast that it made Nico dizzy. “He didn’t-- Nico, he didn’t--” She couldn’t get the words out, like her mouth refused to let her say them. “Frank was there - he saw the whole thing. He’s the one that called the ambulance, he did CPR, but-- Nico, it was too late.”

“No!” Nico screamed at her, hearing the words but feeling them slide right off of him, refusing to let them sink in. “That’s not-- Why would you say that? If something had happened, then they would’ve sent someone here as soon as they knew--” 

Another knock on the door. Quick, firm, and not Jason.

Nico’s breath caught. He felt tears begin to roll down his cheeks, but he was numb to the feeling of Hazel finally releasing his hands, of his feet carrying him across the carpet.

Two soldiers stood opposite him in the doorway.

Neither of them could get a word out before Nico cried, “Fuck!” and slammed the door in their faces.

He crumbled to the ground, burying his face in his hands as he began to sob. 

He didn’t even notice that Bruce had come to see if it was Jason on the other side of the door. 

“Hey, Nico?” 

He stopped with one foot on the steps leading up to the history building after having just said goodbye to Will, and glanced back over his shoulder. “What’s up?”

Will scratched at the back of his head. Even though they’d only known each other for just over a month, Nico knew Will well enough to know that the gesture meant he was nervous about something. “Um. What are your plans for the rest of the day?” 

Nico took a step back, turning to face Will fully, and shrugged. “This is my only other class for the day, so I’ll probably just go home and get some homework done. Why?” 

Will’s gaze darted down to his shoes so that when his eyes flickered back up to meet Nico’s, he was looking at him through his bangs. It made Nico’s heart stutter in his chest. “After your class, would you maybe like to get coffee with me? Like, as a date?” 

Nico’s mind went blank. He froze to his core, and yet he felt like he was spinning. It felt almost too good to be true, and also so horrible, and how could Will ask him that?  

He wasn’t sure how long it took for him to be able to open his mouth and respond, but once he did, he blurted out, “I’m married.” 

Speaking the words hollowed him out. He wanted to take them back right away, to explain to Will that, yes, technically, he was married, and he still would be if he’d had any say in it, but-- 

He and Will didn’t know each other that well just yet, and Nico couldn’t bring himself to elaborate. 

Fuck, Will was probably only being nice to him because he had wanted to ask Nico out all along. Now he was never going to have any sort of a chance with Will, be it as friends or maybe even something more, eventually. With two simple words, Nico had probably just lost the only friend he’d managed to make since Jason died. 

Nico started to apologize - in some way, somehow, without spilling his guts - but Will beat him to it. “Oh! I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I mean, you’ve never mentioned--” He started scratching at the back of his head again, frantically. “And you wear, like, a lot of rings, so I kind of assumed-- Forget I said anything. Or, um. Maybe we can still go out later? I mean, hang out later - not as a date, but as friends? Or study buddies? We could still go out for coffee, maybe, but now I might have to recruit you to help me study for this test I have coming up.” He shot Nico a grin, one that looked slightly forced and more than a little nervous. “I mean, as long as you’re still comfortable talking with me.” 

Nico’s brain was stuck on Will’s offer to stay friends, which meant that his closing statement had Nico frowning. “Why wouldn’t I feel comfortable talking with you anymore?” 

Will shrugged awkwardly. “You know… Because now that you know that I like you, you might feel like I’m trying to come in between you and your spouse? Which I would totally never do, by the way, and--”

“I believe you,” Nico cut in easily, “and that doesn’t make me uncomfortable. And… Yes, I would like to get coffee with you. As study buddies,” he added quickly, and frowned at himself. “As friends.”

The words tasted like a lie as soon as they passed over Nico’s tongue. Yes, he’d wanted to be friends with Will as soon as they’d started spending time together outside of class, but now… Knowing that it was okay to like Will because he already liked Nico back… Nico wanted more than that - than friends.  

But he’d gone and blown any chance he’d ever have of dating Will now.

Will’s smile turned bright - no longer awkward or forced, though it didn’t totally seem to meet his eyes - and he replied, “Great! I’ll text you when I’m out of my class, and we can meet up somewhere.” 

“Sounds good,” Nico told him, and he waved goodbye to Will once more before he started climbing the stairs into the social studies building. 

When he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder, barely spotting Will before he made it too far down the sidewalk and out of sight.

Why was it that, after he’d been the one rejected, Will looked less brokenhearted than Nico felt?

Nico just wanted to be left alone. It was all he’d wanted for the past year, ever since Jason died, to lie around in the house he’d once shared with his husband, only leaving for necessities (specifically cat food for Bruce, which always reminded Nico that he needed to buy human food for himself, too) and figuring that he’d coast by on Jason’s life insurance money and whatever inheritance he’d gotten from his mom until the money ran out.

Nico wasn’t sure what he would be forced to do once the money ran out. 

Percy was always inviting him out - to lunch, or just out on a walk, or anything to get him out of his own house, which eventually meant he was inviting Nico over to play video games, since he couldn’t get Nico to step outside and into the public unless he absolutely had to. And then, at a certain point, Nico had started turning down those invitations, too, which led to Percy inviting himself over to Nico’s for a few gaming nights. Then, Nico had stopped unlocking the door for him, and Percy had to invite him to play co-op remotely. Nico declined more requests than he accepted.

Annabeth had tried, too. After Nico had dropped out of college - or more accurately, stopped showing up to class without warning - she’d tried to help him find a new job, one that wouldn’t make him as miserable as his old grocery store job had. She helped him set up a LinkedIn, and made accounts for him on a few different job hunting websites, and he gave her empty promises that he would look for a job as soon as she was out of his house. 

Leo - he hadn’t been by in months. Over half a year, at least, and Nico hadn’t heard from him, either. He didn’t know if he wanted to hear from him.

Piper’s pushiness had probably been the most infuriating. She’d downloaded a handful of dating apps on his phone once after she’d let herself in during one of his depression naps - which had been more and more frequent, which had him staying awake through the night almost constantly. 

She always hovered over his shoulder as she forced him to swipe through pictures of guys that didn’t look anything like Jason - or looked way too much like Jason, so much so that Nico had to stop himself from throwing his phone across the room. 

“This is the best way to help you start the process of moving on,” she’d told him, apparently oblivious to the fact that Nico didn’t want to move on - he never wanted to love anyone the way he’d loved Jason, and he had a hard time believing anyone in their right mind would love him the way he needed them to. “And if anybody knows how to move on from Jason, it’s me.”

Nico had scowled. “Didn’t you just realize you were actually a lesbian?” 

She had waved a hand dismissively, swiping her finger quickly across the screen, like Nico’s non-existent and unwanted love life was some kind of a game to her. “Technicalities. Oh, he’s cute, don’t you think?” 

When Piper left, Nico had promised himself that he would never touch any of those apps, aside from tossing them all into a folder labeled do not touch. Maybe he would delete them in the morning, he’d told himself, before staying up half the night swiping through one app after another.

He didn’t understand what the differences were supposed to be between each app. He didn’t want to hook up with somebody - not that he really wanted to date anybody, either, but that wasn’t the point - so he tried to avoid using the apps that were notorious for that sort of thing. It was when he got down to the apps that he’d never heard of that he started to struggle.

And somehow, he ended up texting back and forth with someone, and found himself scheduling a date. He’d panicked so much after saying yes that he’d shut his phone off and hid himself under his blanket, as if that would make the date suddenly disappear.

He deleted that app altogether, and tried not to let himself feel guilty for standing the guy up.

And, during an exceptionally low point that he tried his very best not to remember, he opened up one of the hook-up apps. He’d swiped through until he found someone who looked just right - tall and broad and blond, and the fatigues he wore in his picture were just the icing on the cake - and he let himself get swept up in the biggest mistake he’d ever made.

Will had been turned down for dates plenty of times in his life - no, wait, that made him sound bad. It wasn’t like he was asking out anybody who showed him even an ounce of attention - he wasn’t his father - but he wasn’t afraid to shoot his shot, either. He’d been turned down for almost every school dance since middle school, until he eventually realized that it was more fun to just go with a group of friends instead of a date, and the few times he had been able to get past a first date, there usually wasn’t much that came afterwards. 

He’d had one long-term girlfriend during his junior year of high school, and one boyfriend that he’d been with for most of his freshman year of college, but aside from that, well. Will had an education to focus on - he wasn’t going to get into one of the best medical schools in the country if he was too focused on dating.

But when he met Nico, he decided that applying to medical school was probably a lot like applying to college as a high school senior - they were going to pay a whole lot more attention to the 4.0 he’d gotten every semester up until then than they would care if he let himself relax a bit in his last two semesters. He’d liked Nico so much upon their initial meeting, and there had been something so magnetic about him that kept pulling Will in until…

Until Will asked him out. And he was so certain that Nico had liked him back - there were these looks that Nico gave him whenever he thought Will wasn’t looking, and he always laughed even at Will’s stupider jokes, and… And Will was just sure of it, okay? - and then Nico had shattered Will’s heart into a thousand tiny pieces. 

How could Will compete with Nico’s husband? No, absolutely not, that was the worst thought he’d ever had. He wouldn’t compete with Nico’s husband - he wouldn’t have tried to compete even if Nico had said he had a boyfriend, or just some guy he was sort of seeing, or if he had a first date scheduled for later in the week. Will wouldn’t have argued if Nico had flat out told him no without any other reason.

And he was certain - absolutely, completely, one million percent sure - that he’d ruined it all. That he would forever feel this magnetic pull toward Nico that he would have to fight for the rest of his life, because Nico would never want to see him again. And Will would’ve been okay with it, because at least Nico would be happy with his husband, and Will would enroll at the first medical school in California that accepted him, just so that he could be as far away from the temptation as possible.

But somehow, by the grace of God or some blessing from the universe, Nico agreed to still be his friend. They were friends who hung out together outside of class. They took these long walks across campus as they got to know each other, they studied together in the library or at this one coffee shop that Will loved that he got to introduce Nico to.

And Nico memorized Will’s coffee order, so that he could surprise Will with a coffee whenever they met up. And Nico gave him these smiles paired with those big, beautiful brown eyes of his. And he laughed at Will’s jokes. And he helped Will study for tests, and he proofread Will’s papers - and he told Will what a shitty writer he was before taking it upon himself to fix Will’s papers for him - and he started opening up to Will little by little, more and more each day. 

And Will was falling for him so fast. He was an idiot, and he was playing the most dangerous game, and Nico’s husband totally had the right to kill him for some of the thoughts that went through Will’s head, but he didn’t care. Because at least he had Nico as a friend, even if he knew it could never be anything more.

And so he kept showing up to their study dates - which he only called dates in his head, and which he scolded himself for doing every time it happened. He dropped into the seat across from Nico, thanked him for the coffee Nico had gotten for him, and once again insisted that he was going to find some way to pay Nico back for all of the free caffeine. And Nico had just smiled fondly, shaking his head before going back to his textbook. And Will was so in love with him.

Will didn’t have homework of his own to do that afternoon - nothing pressing, at least - so he brought out a folder full of tests that Chiron had asked him to grade. It was easy work, though it was time consuming, which Will figured was why the task always got pushed onto his plate.

Technically, he probably wasn’t supposed to grade tests in front of one of the students in the class, but it wasn’t like he ever gave Nico a chance to change his answers. And besides, how else were they supposed to laugh over some of the stupid answers that people put on their tests if they weren’t together when Will was grading them?

They worked mostly in silence, simply enjoying each other’s company, until Nico’s phone buzzed on the table, and the screen lit up.

And Will saw the unmistakable shape of the Tinder logo adorning Nico’s most recent notification.

Will sucked in a breath, his eyes darting back and forth between Nico’s phone and the top of Nico’s head where he was still leaning over his textbook. After a second, he finally found Nico glancing toward the screen, his gaze hardening before he flipped the phone over and went back to his reading.

Will silently pleaded for Nico to look up, to meet his eyes, so that Will could ask the thousands of questions that were suddenly bouncing around in his head. 

Why did you get a Tinder notification? Why do you even have Tinder on your phone? What does this mean for your marriage? Are you having problems with your husband? Or did you lie about being married altogether as an excuse to get out of going on a date with me? But if you didn’t want to go out with me, then why do we hang out almost every day? Does this mean that you have been flirting with me this whole time? Oh god, am I about to become a homewrecker?

Nico finally glanced up, but Will forced his eyes down to the test packet in front of him, trying desperately to ignore the gaze burning into the top of his head and the way that his heart threatened to pound out of his chest. He couldn’t mention anything - he wasn’t actually sure he wanted to know any of the answers - so he forced himself to keep grading.

And if it took him about fifteen minutes longer than it should have to grade a single test, well. He was pretty sure Nico wasn’t paying attention to him, so nobody had to know.

In a moment of weakness, Will downloaded Tinder. 

He’d never used a dating app before, always more interested in meeting someone in a more organic way, but after trying to think of some way to casually mention to Nico that he’d seen the Tinder notification on his phone for over a week, Will had to do something. He got the gist of the app - swipe left or right based on the picture that showed up on the screen, and then have a conversation with the people you matched with. 

Within the first two days, he had… A lot of people who wanted to match with him. But he kept swiping by every face that wasn’t Nico’s, growing more and more frustrated the more time he spent on that stupid app. He just wanted to find Nico’s profile, match with him, and then text him to say something along the lines of, haha crazy meeting you here! Hey, wait a second--

Was it a perfect plan? Fuck, no. If anything, Will probably needed to forget he ever saw anything on Nico’s phone and try to move on with his life. Bringing up Nico’s potential infidelity probably wasn’t the way to win him over, and if anything, would probably piss Nico off. If he was sneaking around behind his husband’s back, he most likely wouldn’t want to get caught - and he might not be the kind of guy that Will would want to start seeing, either. (Not that that was even a possibility!)

When Nico texted him out of the blue one day, Will thought that maybe his profile had been discovered - but then why wouldn’t Nico have texted him through the app, instead? He asked Will to meet him at the usual coffee shop the next day - a Saturday, which wasn’t a day when either of them had suggested to meet up before, always opting for an after-class hangout instead - and Will had replied, sure! your husband won’t mind me stealing you away on your day off?

He regretted the message as soon as he hit send. Why the fuck would he even bring up Nico’s husband? They’d talked about the nature of their relationship - that they were just friends, and that Will could keep his own feelings in check. Will shouldn’t be the one worrying about what Nico’s husband thought of them spending so much time together.

His phone buzzed in his hand, signaling Nico’s reply.

No, I don’t think he would. 

That response opened Will up to a whole new world of anxiety. Had Nico not told his husband about Will? Not that he needed to, because nothing was going to happen between them, but if the roles were reversed, Will definitely would’ve told his spouse about the guy he was always hanging out with who had confessed his feelings for him a few weeks earlier.

Or maybe Nico’s use of would meant that he and his husband were separated - maybe they’d married young to escape a bad situation, and realized that it wasn’t working out for them now that they’d grown up a bit. Or maybe Nico had realized that there was someone better out there for him - and Will was about to become a fucking homewrecker!

If his mama ever found out, she’d skin him alive.

They set up a time to meet, and the next day Will tried to arrive at the coffee shop early so that he could surprise Nico with a drink the way that Nico always did for him. When he got there, though, he realized that, not only did he not know Nico’s order, but Nico had beaten him there.

He sat in his usual seat, nervously picking at the skin around his fingernails. He didn’t have his backpack, nor did he have any homework sitting on the table in front of him, so Will quickly put together that this was not any old study date (stop calling it that!).  

Will smiled at Nico as he took his own seat, dropping his backpack into the empty chair beside him - because he didn’t go anywhere without his backpack, whether it was full of unfinished homework or not. He almost jumped right back out of his chair when he realized, “You don’t have a drink! Finally, I can start to pay you back! What do you want? I can go order right now.” 

Nico shook his head. “I don’t want a drink. I just-- I need to tell you something.” 

Will paused, waiting for Nico to continue. When he didn’t, Will tried to visibly relax into his seat, showing Nico that he wasn’t going anywhere. The silence stretched on between them for a minute or two, and Will desperately wanted to say something, but he knew it wasn’t his place - Nico was the one with something to say, and Will wasn’t going to interrupt him when he clearly needed to build up the courage to say it. 

Eventually, Nico lifted his gaze, and the look in his eyes felt like a slap to the face. He looked at Will almost pleadingly, like he was begging Will to change the subject before the conversation even started - no, it was more challenging than that. He was daring Will to speak before Nico got the chance.

Well, that sucked for him, because Will’s mouth was zipped shut and locked up tight.

“I was married for five years,” Nico finally spoke, and there was a waver in his voice that made Will want to reach across the table and cover Nico’s hands with his own. He took a shaky breath, keeping his eyes locked on Will’s as he continued, “but Jason died two years ago.” 

He released his breath, and with it, his body seemed to slump - his shoulders falling, his head tipping forward as his eyes slid shut. Like a weight had been lifted off of him, but the aftershocks of pain weren’t allowing him even a second of relief. 

“I think…” he whispered, his eyes opening once more to stare at a point on the table between them. “I think that’s the first time I’ve had to say it out loud.” 

“I’m sorry,” Will told him softly. “I’m sorry that it happened, and I’m sorry if I made you feel pressured to tell me.” 

Nico shook his head. “No, it’s just… Everyone else - everyone I talk to - already knows, because… They’ve just always been around. But you… You haven’t been, but I… I want you to be around. And I feel like I’ve been lying to you ever since I said that I’m married, because…” He frowned, almost glaring down at the table. “It’s weird to think that I just stopped being married. It’s not like we had a fight and broke up, because he just--” He squeezed his eyes shut, his hands balling into fists on the table. “Sorry, this isn’t how I wanted this to go. I didn’t mean to unload on you like this, I just… I wanted to clear some things up, because-- Because I like you. I…” He huffed, almost seeming frustrated with himself, and turned his head to glare out at the half-empty cafe, one slowly reddening cheek on full display as he muttered, “I really like you.” 

Will’s heart was racing. His stomach was tying itself into knots. He wanted to jump out of his chair and scream to the world that Nico liked him back, but he found himself frozen to his chair. He wasn’t sure he would be able to talk any louder than a whisper, either.

“Nico,” he said, trying to push as much emotion into the word as possible, and he finally reached across the table to take one of Nico’s hands in his own. Was Nico embarrassed by how much he liked Will? Had he forgotten so quickly that Will was the one to put his heart on the line first? Maybe Will just needed to show his hand to remind Nico that the feeling was oh, so mutual.

“I think… I think that you’re one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen. You’re so beautiful that sometimes I can’t take my eyes off of you. You’re incredibly smart, and so interesting - I think I learn something new about you and…the world around us, and myself, even, every time I talk to you. You make me laugh without even trying, and I bet I could listen to you talk for hours, about anything. You could make a history lecture sound interesting - or a writing seminar focused on the importance of proper grammar, or something. So, I don’t know if I haven’t made myself clear, but I would do anything just for the chance to take you out on a date. But, at the same time, I need you to understand that there is no pressure at all, okay? I mean, fuck, Nico, I like you so much that if all I ever got our of this relationship was your friendship, then I’d be happy just knowing I got to be a part of your life.”

“What the fuck,” Nico whispered, his eyes wide as they gazed into Will’s. “How can you… How are you so good? How are you not pissed that I rejected you a few weeks ago for no good reason?” 

“You did have a good reason,” Will told him. “I know that if I was in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t want to date anybody for a while. Like, what’s that rule about, like… If you and your last partner were together for a year, then you shouldn’t date anybody else until at least six months had passed - so it’s always half the amount of time of your previous relationship. And, I mean, I don’t know if the same rules apply when marriage is involved, but… But I can absolutely understand you being hesitant to start dating again after all that! And just because you realized that you like me back doesn’t mean we have to start dating right now, or… Or that we ever have to start dating, if you’re still not comfortable with that, or--”

“But I do want to date you,” Nico cut in, squeezing Will’s hands in both of his own. “I just don’t know if I even remember how to date - because I’m pretty sure dating at twenty-five is a little bit different than when I was sixteen, and--”

“Not really,” Will assured him, trying his absolute hardest not to vibrate out of his seat in excitement. Nico actually wanted to date him! They were going to date! Will was going to have the chance to make Nico fall in love with him! “I mean, in my experience, the only real differences are the lack of curfew, and the fact that we can both legally consume alcohol, but--”

Nico’s nose scrunched up in a way that made Will want to dive across the table and kiss him. “Those things never stopped me before.” 

Will beamed, pulling one hand back so that he could prop up his chin on his palm. “Oh, so you were a bad boy? See, once again, I learn something new about you every day.” 

Nico scoffed and pulled his hands out of Will’s hold, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat, though he had the faintest beginnings of a smile on his face that almost had Will cheering victoriously. 

“Okay, here are our options, as I see them,” Will told him. “Option one: we forget about our feelings for each other and keep being friends.” Nico’s eyes dropped down to the table in disappointment. “Option two: we try going on a few dates to see what happens. From there, we either decide that we were better off as friends, or we fall madly in love with each other.”

Nico raised an eyebrow, looking skeptical. “You forgot the other possibility, which is that we have a horrible, disastrous breakup that results in us never speaking to each other again.” 

“Not gonna happen,” Will replied, matter-of-fact. “I already told you, I’m doing whatever it takes to stay in your life as long as I can, in whatever form of relationship you’ll take me - except as enemies. That’s where I draw the line. But I promise, there is no pressure for the dates to go exactly as planned, or for you to be perfect,” because you already are, Will didn’t say, because he already felt like he was laying it on pretty thick. “I’m happy to move everything at a snail’s pace, if that’s what makes you comfortable, because… If I’m being totally honest, I really just like spending time with you whenever I can, and I would love to keep spending time with you, however often you’ll let me.” 

Nico paused, lowering his hands to the table and nervously twisting one of the rings on his hand around his finger. “If I say yes,” he said softly, and then lifted his gaze to meet Will’s, speaking louder as he tried again, “If I agree to…to dating you… This - today - doesn’t count, right?” 

“Oh, no,” Will said quickly. “It’s not a date unless it’s mutually agreed upon beforehand. No, this was more of a relationship negotiation. I figure, we’ll check in with each other after the first couple of dates to see where we stand, and if we reach the point where we both agree to move onto the boyfriends stage, we’ll have another negotiation meeting - that one’s more about, like, whether you’re allowed to steal my hoodies, and if late night Taco Bell runs count as a date, or if dates have to be, like, a predetermined time and place instead of happening on a whim. Did I warn you that I used to be an RA before I moved off-campus?” 

Nico snorted - so loud, and so atrociously beautiful, that Will made it his goal in life to make that happen as often as physically possible. Nico slapped a hand over his mouth as if it would muffle the sound of the snort that had already escaped, and continued to laugh silently as his shoulders shook.

Will propped his chin up on his hand, gazing at Nico in a way that could unmistakably be described as lovingly. “I’m so going to sweep you off your feet,” Will promised him. “I’m going to woo you so hard, you won’t know what hit you.” 

Will wasn’t kidding about checking in with Nico at the end of every date. For their first date, they’d gone out to see a movie, where Will had first checked to make sure that Nico didn’t mind when people talked during the movie, and then spent the next two hours whispering comments and little jokes back and forth between each other. They hadn’t been ready to say goodbye yet once the movie was over, so they walked through the city, idly chatting about the movie or their classes or that time Will’s little sister got so obsessed with superhero movies that she decided that she suddenly had the ability to fly, and jumped out of a tree in their backyard. 

When they happened across a bus stop that would take Nico back toward his house, Will had decided it might be best to part ways for the night, or else he might not ever let go of Nico’s hand.

The bench underneath the awning was full by the time Nico and Will reached the bus stop, so they stood outside of it to wait for Nico’s bus. Nico stood with his back against the rain shelter, his hand still tightly clasped in Will’s.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” Nico had told him as he gazed up at Will, a soft smile on his face. 

“Me too,” Will had replied, feeling like he was smiling with so much force that his face might split in two. “If you could rate your level of fun on a scale of one to ten, ten being the most fun you’ve ever had on a date, what would your answer be?” 

Nico had pressed his lips together, like he was trying to suppress a laugh. “What?”  

“Hang on, I have some other questions, too,” Will had continued, reaching into his pocket to pull out a folded-up piece of notebook paper. He’d reached over with his other hand to start unfolding it without ever letting go of Nico’s hand. “Describe your date - in this case, that would be me, not the event itself - using the following criteria. Did he, A.) talk about himself too much, B.) balance conversation evenly between himself and you, or C.) insist on asking too many questions about you without sharing much or any information about himself?”

“B,” Nico had answered before biting down on his lip to keep his smile contained. 

“Good!” Will had replied with a beaming smile. “For the following questions, I’d like you to answer using the Likert Scale--”

Nico had let out a bark of laughter and tipped forward until his head was resting against Will’s shoulder. “How many questions are on this thing?” he’d demanded, reaching up with his free hand to grab onto Will’s wrist so that he could get a look at the paper in Will’s hand.

“After the Likert Scale, there’s only, like, three more.” 

Nico had started shaking his head, muttering, “This is so stupid,” through his laughter, which only had Will beaming with pride. 

“Alright, alright,” Will had conceded, “I’ll skip the Likert Scale. Question twenty--”

“Oh my god.”

“--is there anything that your date - again, that’s me - could do to improve your dating experience for next time?” 

Nico had hummed softly as he settled more comfortably against Will’s chest before he finally answered, “I don’t think so.” 

Will had been certain that Nico could hear the way his heart was pounding in his chest - out of nerves or excitement, he hadn’t been sure. “Cool. Um. There’s technically only one more - I mean, depending on how you answer. So, um. Would you like to go on a second date? Check yes or no. And if no, please explain.”

Nico had leaned back, gazing up at Will through his lashes, and Will had braced himself for Nico’s response.

“Do you have a pen?” 

Will’s heart had begun to sink. “Uh, no--”

“Then how do you expect me to check yes?”

And then Will had been soaring once more. “It’s more of a verbal questionnaire. And your feedback is greatly appreciated.”

“Glad I could be of assistance,” Nico had replied just as the bus had pulled up to the curb beside them. Nico had glanced at it quickly, checking the number on the front, before he’d turned back to Will. “Well, uh. I’d better get going. I’ll see you…” He’d drawn out the word, hoping that Will would fill in the blanks for him.

“Soon,” Will had complied, squeezing Nico’s hand in his own. “You should be getting a text sometime in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours with the results of your survey.”

Nico had rolled his eyes, but he’d still had that fond smile on his face. “Alright, I’ll see you in a couple of days, then.” 

He had started to step away, toward the bus doors that were only going to stay open so much longer, but Will had tightened his hold on Nico’s hand, stopping him for just another second. “Or you could text me when you get home. So I know you got home safely.” 

“I can do that,” Nico had whispered, and then gave Will’s hand one more squeeze before releasing it and hurrying towards the bus doors.

During his own bus ride home that night, Will had received a text from Nico that simply said, I’m home. He had spent the rest of the bus ride and half of the walk to his apartment crafting the perfect response:

Congrats! Your feedback is greatly appreciated, so as a thank you for helping us to improve our ability to sweep you off your feet, we’d like to offer you a coupon for a free dinner with one Will Solace, redeemable at your earliest convenience!

It had been another week or so before Nico was able to “redeem” his “coupon”, though he and Will had been able to see each other a few times in between dates - in class and as they walked across campus afterwards, then during their usual study dates (which Will could almost actually call study dates). They had gone out to eat at a restaurant near Nico’s house that he’d been wanting to try, which had allowed Will to be the perfect gentleman who walked Nico to his door at the end of the night.

“Are you going to bust out another survey?” Nico had asked as he stood on his front step, one eyebrow raised skeptically as he gazed up at Will. 

“That depends,” Will had replied, rocking forward on his toes. “Would you say that the last one was more funny, or more stupid?”

Nico had rolled his eyes. “C, all of the above.” 

“Damn, I should’ve spent more time preparing one, then,” Will had scolded himself, mostly to see if it would make Nico laugh - which it had. “I do actually have one question for you, if that’s alright?” 

“Do you have a pen for me to check yes or no with this time?” Nico had teased.

“Can I kiss you?”

Nico’s teasing smile had vanished in an instant, making way for wide, shocked eyes that had quickly turned worried. “Oh. I… I don’t know.” 

Will had shuffled a few inches closer, raising a hand to brush against Nico’s cheek. “Is this okay?” he’d asked, his voice nearly a whisper as he had continued to lean closer. He’d watched as Nico’s eyes had flickered down to his lips before meeting his own once more. At no point had Will received a yes - no verbal response, or even a nod of his head - so at the last second, he’d changed paths, swooping to the side to press his lips feather-light to Nico’s cheek.

Nico was surprised at how disappointed he’d been when Will hadn’t kissed him. He hadn’t thought that he was ready for it, but after Will had pulled away and taken a step back and Nico realized that he wouldn’t be getting a real kiss that night, he felt the disappointment like a weight in his stomach.

“Goodnight, Nico,” Will had told him as he continued to move away. “Give Bruce a big kiss for me.” 

Part of Nico wanted to invite Will inside - tell Will to give Bruce a kiss himself, and give the two a chance to finally meet, since Will had so far only seen the cat through pictures. But Nico knew he wasn’t ready to open his life up to Will quite so much that soon. Instead of inviting him in, Nico had managed to call out, “Text me when you get home!” before Will reached the sidewalk.

When he’d stepped inside, Nico was grateful that he’d stopped himself from inviting Will in for an entirely different reason - he wasn’t even sure when he’d last bothered to clean.  

After their third date - to a pumpkin patch-slash-apple orchard-slash-cider mill, which was far enough outside of the city that they’d had to take Jason’s car to get there - Nico had been ready to invite Will inside. 

Or, at least, he’d been planning to.

Getting into Jason’s car was always something that had been difficult for Nico - it was the same one he’d been driving since he turned sixteen, the same one they’d shared their first (and second, and third-through-fifteenth) kiss in, the same one that Jason had used to teach Nico how to drive, and the only car that Nico had ever driven because they hadn’t been able to afford a house and two cars. He’d had to drive them out of the city, allowing Will to flip through radio stations as he pleased until he found a song that he particularly loved, and he started rocking out on the air guitar in the passenger’s seat the same way that Jason used to always drum across the dashboard. It was an adorable sight that made Nico like Will even more, though watching it made his entire body ache.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever been to a cider mill with Jason, which allowed Nico a reprieve from the emotional assault he’d been experiencing that day as Will joyfully pulled him along by the hand. They took a hay ride through the pumpkin patches and between the apple trees. They shared cider and donuts and bought kettle corn and candy for the ride back.

Nico tried to force himself to hold on to the happy feelings he’d had with Will throughout the day rather than the stabbing pains through his heart as they drove back that evening, but it wasn’t easy. On every date he’d had with Will so far, and every time Will had grabbed his hand as they walked across campus together, and any time Nico chose to flirt back, he hurt. He couldn’t shake the guilt that seemed to be buried deep in his very bones. He couldn’t help the fact that, no matter how much he liked Will, and no matter how certain he was that Jason was dead and never coming back, he felt like he was cheating.

He pushed past it, as much as he could. He held Will’s hand, and he leaned against him, and he let himself flirt until he felt like he might puke. He parked Jason’s car in the driveway and let Will walk him to the door, trying to force himself to invite Will inside, though he couldn’t get the words to come out. He tried to let Will do the talking, instead.

“I’m glad we could do this before we’re both swamped by midterms,” Will commented, holding both of Nico’s hands in his own, “but I’m sorry that I’ll probably be too busy for much more than study dates for the next couple of weeks.” 

Nico shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize for that.” 

Will pouted. “Maybe I want you to know how much it’s going to kill me to have to spend so much time studying instead of being with you.” 

“Well maybe I think you’ve survived without me for this long, so two more weeks where you’ll definitely still see me, like, every other day, should be pretty easy,” Nico shot back with a grin.

With a sigh, Will let his head fall against Nico’s. “You overestimate me. Or maybe you’re underestimating my ability to yearn.” 

Nico rolled his eyes. “And now you’re just being dramatic. Maybe you should go home and get some sleep before you turn into a drama queen.” 

“You’re probably right,” Will replied, then quickly added, “about the sleep part - not the drama queen thing. You haven’t seen drama queen until you’ve met my dad. But… That’s probably a story for another time. I’ll see you on Monday?” 

Nico nodded. “And you’ll text me when you get home,” he added as a statement, not giving Will any room to argue. 

He smiled softly. “I will.” He dropped his gaze down to his shoes, shuffling slightly but not pulling away. “Before I leave, can I… Can I kiss you?” 

Nico felt bile rise up in his throat, but he swallowed it down just as fast. He took a shaky breath and replied, “The last time you asked that, you didn’t really kiss me. So how can I trust you?”

Will bit his lip to reign in his smile. “Well, you could always kiss me, you know.” 

But Nico couldn’t do that. Not tonight, and-- Maybe not ever. How could he ever kiss somebody who wasn’t Jason? Even after the Tinder hookups that he tried to forget and the first dates that went nowhere, he’d never let anybody else kiss him.

But Will was different, wasn’t he?

He actually meant something to Nico, unlike any of those other guys. 

But how could he do that to Jason?

Nico forced himself to take another breath. “Well, you-- You have my permission,” he muttered. He probably sounded nervous - probably because he was fucking nervous. He hoped that maybe his hesitancy would convince Will not to kiss him, but--

But Will was already leaning in.

And Nico couldn’t back out now. Even if he wanted to, he wasn’t sure his body would let him.

Maybe it would be best to just get it over with - give Will a little peck, then kick him to the curb so that he could panic about it in peace. 

So Nico pushed himself up on his toes. He ripped his hands out of Will’s and pulled his head closer, because Will was moving too fucking slow, and he brought their lips together, and--

Fuck, it felt so nice. He hadn’t been kissed in so long - he almost wanted to cry from how nice it felt to have that pressure against his lips, the feeling of warm hands carefully settling on his waist. It felt so good that he almost forgot about the chill in the air around them, or the fact that they were outside on Nico’s front step, or that he wasn’t kissing Jason, so when he started to move on reflex, seeking out that little scar on Jason’s lip that wasn’t there--

Nico shoved Will back with so much force that he knocked himself back against the door. 

“Nico?” Will asked cautiously, reaching out toward him and only stopping when Nico flinched in response. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Nico whispered, and he quickly grabbed for the keys in his pocket, fumbling through them in search of his house key. 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Will assured him gently, and fuck, why couldn’t he see that Nico didn’t deserve gentleness and kindness and Will right now? “Nico, I understand-- I’m sorry. I thought-- I shouldn’t have pushed, and I--”

“Shut up,” Nico snapped, and he turned his back on Will to jam the key into the lock, missing the first several times and cursing himself for his clumsiness. “I can’t-- I just can’t, okay? I can’t do this! Just-- Leave me alone.”  

The key turned in the lock, and he managed to force himself inside.

He made the mistake of turning back to face the door as he slammed it shut, and got a glimpse of Will’s heartbroken expression before the door closed in his face.

“Fuck,” he whispered, pressing his back to the door as he slid down. He felt tears roll down his cheeks sometime after he found himself sitting on the floor, and eventually Bruce came to see why he hadn’t made it further into the house. “I fucked it all up, Brucie,” Nico told him once he was calm enough to realize what he’d done, keeping his voice low in case Will still happened to be on the other side of the door.

That was what he told himself, anyway. But Jason had never liked it much when he swore, so he had always tried not to do it much inside the house, the only place where it seemed like Jason might still be around. 

He was such an idiot for thinking that he could let himself be happy with anyone else.