Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Welcome to The Wayne Manor, Baudelaires!
(Written by PotatoHalfling)
Once again the Baudelaires were being dropped by Mr. Poe at a stranger's house in a strange neighborhood, right after leaving previous very unsuccessful experiences of the sort, to say the least, behind.
This time it wasn't exactly a house they were going to; not that actual houses were so common living spaces for the Baudelaires for the last few dreadful months since they lost their actual home, and parents, to the fire.
This time; it was but a full mansion in a big, particularly dreadful city with skies that seemed to always be overcast. This sight was uncomfortably familiar to the Baudelaires given their recent stay at the Squalor’s huge apartment in a highly overcast city, aswell.
The difference was that the city was Gotham and, more likely than not, the Baudelaire’s “new home” was going to be The Wayne Manor.
– Here we are, Baudelaires! Remember, only call *sniff* for my assistance if it is *sniff* of dire need, as I am a very *cough* busy man, *cough cough cough* I’m sure you will understand. Here *grunt*, take this copy of the *snif* newest Daily Punctilio as a farewell gift, goodbye!
According to the little information Mr. Poe was willing to share between his constant coughing and sniffing, their new guardian was going to be the famous billionaire Bruce Wayne, who was a well known (according to the Daily Punctilio) philanthropist and orphan very keen on adopting other orphans himself, “(...) and I’m sure you children will have *cough cough* a good time by living with *sniff* other orphans like yourselves!”.
The Baudelaires, however, weren't too keen on this idea given their history with previous caretakers, reviewed mostly by Mr. Poe himself; especially with Gotham’s exacerbated criminality rate and Bruce Wayne’s irresponsible playboy fame (information that resurfaced to Klaus’s mind as he heard where Mr. Poe was taking them, and soon was shared with his sisters through whispers in the car ride).
And so, Mr. Poe’s car was gone with a trail of smoke behind it faster than little Sunny Baudelaire could finish saying “Somugilth?” while they stood at the gates, which in this context would mean “This amount of fumes coming from Mr. Poe’s car cannot be a good omen to the environment we’re about to enter, right?”
– Well, at this point all we can do is hope this place is not as bad as Esme’s apartment. – Said Violet, resigned. – Given the size of this place, maybe they might have good things for you to chew on.
– I guess it hardly could be worse than the Lumbermill, maybe they have a garage with tools you could use, Vi! – Added Klaus.
– Abiguh! – Said Sunny, meaning “As long as Carmelita isn’t here, this place is already better than The Austere Academy, besides, I'm sure they must have a library Klaus could enjoy!”
– Oh yes, I can assure you all can find some chewing toys and a library here – Answered a voice by their side, almost making the siblings jump to their feet in surprise. – About the garage thing I’m not so certain though.
In front of the Baudelaires suddenly stood (more like leaned on the gate) a small but strongly built 16-ish year old asian girl with bobbed hair, dressed entirely in black, with a very discreet smile of someone who wants to be making an impression but is too humble or too shy to be openly proud of it.
– Hi, I’m Cassandra, but you can call me Cass – Said the girl, still leaning at the gate, seemed like she wanted to shake their hands, but didn’t – And you guys are Violet, Klaus and Sunny, right? I did my research, so I hope I’m right.
A little out of words, which was rare, Klaus gave a shy smile, while Violet nodded and Sunny gurgled in agreement; which made Cass’s smile a little wider. Noticing a detail, Klaus tried to regain his words to formulate a question that unfortunately wasn’t going to be answered any time soon:
– Um, if you don’t mind my asking, when Sunny was talking, how did you underst–
– Miss Cain, what did I tell you about not startling the new guests? – Complained a second voice coming from inside of the gate, also inadvertently startling said guests again. – I apologize for the surprise, Mr. and Misses Baudelaire, correct?
– … Yes.
– Correct.
– Abax (That’s right).
As the figure opened the gates, the Baudelaires were able to see that this voice belonged to a well dressed lean older gentleman with faulty gray hair, a small mustache and several marks under the eyes, indicating he’s had to deal with this kind of behavior (and probably worse) for arguably too long already.
– Then do come in, quickly if you please. – A small space was opened for them to pass one after the other, which did not soothe the siblings' worries over the violence and criminality problem the city was known for, even if those precautions were also probably reinforced as a safety measure against a potential new Count Olaf situation as well, which was one of the reasons Mr. Poe so gladly agreed to leave the siblings there, in one of the most frantically secured houses on the planet, to the point that even Aunt Josephine might have approved of.
Once inside, the Baudelaires finally had the full scope of the place they were about to stay in, and it surely was an intimidating sight. It was a proper two-story colonial manor with towers in the color of soot, surrounded by a large and mostly empty grass yard and a few trees.
Even if it didn’t exactly have a gothic architecture, the Manor was certainly imponent and gave off a slightly melancholic feeling that felt right in place with the rest of the city, from what they saw of it in M.r Poe’s car. But they still couldn’t deny it was oddly quite beautiful.
– Once again I am sorry for our manners; I am the butler of the house, Alfred Pennyworth, – Continued the gentleman as he closed the gates behind him. – and I am to make sure you children stay comfortable and secure in this house for as long as you wish to stay! We are all aware of the unfortunate circumstances you all have gone through, so if you wish to have some space to take in your surroundings at your own pace, I shall make it possible that no one inconvenes.
– I’m really sorry Alfred, I thought you’d want me to give them a welcome as soon as possible! You know I’m not great with … – Cass Apologized sheepishly, feeling a little hurt by Alfred’s passive-aggressiveness, as she handled the couple little bags the Baudelaires had brought as personal baggage.
– Oh, she didn’t bother us, we only got a bit startled is all – Violet intervened, trying to help – But thank you for your offer, Mister Pennyworth.
– *Sigh* Well, it is all well then, since Miss Cain is already here I guess you could help me bring their belongings to the house. – He said with a resigned yet affectionate smile to Cass, who then lit up again like nothing happened.
After his 3 keys were scanned, the proper entrance to the Manor was opened and their faces illuminated by the warm light inside, contrasting the Baudelaire’s long shadows on the foyer.
– And to you, Baudelaire Siblings, I offer a Warm Welcome to Wayne’s Manor!
……………………………..
On the other side of town, a very crowded black truck made its way out of the back of the Arkham Asylum with a very large Red Herring and an even bigger trunk filled with costumes of all kinds on its back. Inside the Red Herring no Quagmire could be heard, but it was certainly possible to hear a muffled maniacal cackle from it, if paid close attention.