all this happened, more or less

alix @alpinealix • 8 January
winter break sucks so here is a thread of reasons why i think @Charles_Leclerc is @escalierdesfleurs . for legal reasons this is only a joke if i’m wrong.
10 replies | 72 retweets | 984 likes

Notes:

For euphrasiefauchelevent.
Inspired by finish line by foxholecourts, kosmokuns

a massive work of love from start to finish.
first, to alix for the idea and the music and the lyrics. thank you for entrusting me with your genius, and for writing the music and lyrics that will hopefully be published with part 2. you're a legend.
to diane, as always. thank you for reading my incoherent thoughts and hyping me up. see you next week bestie :)
to altissimozucca, for giving us epistolarium and inspiring me to use hilarious links as hyperlinks. and to foxholecourts and kosmokuns for giving us finish line and making me want to write a social media au in the first place.
if any translations are wrong, blame google translate. also i know you can't change names like this in whatsapp, but comedy etc
if any blog names or other social media usernames are actually in use, that’s my bad. i didn’t check. please don’t contact those accounts lol
disclaimer: charles leclerc is not actually hannah montana. this didn't happen. please do not share or send this link to anyone mentioned in the fic or who may know someone in this fic. thank you!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

WHO IS ESCALIER DES FLEURS?

By Celia Quincy
July 30, 2020 09:05

At this point, we have all heard of Escalier Des Fleurs, the disguised pop sensation who has taken over streaming sites and social media with his lithe and charismatic voice. His first single, “Movie,” describes a palpable longing and pain that we can all relate to within the context of unique and almost unrepeatable moments.

The masked man’s ability to recount his anguish in the face of failed romance and missed opportunities is second to none, and music charts, critics, and fans all agree. Within the last three months, he has blessed us with “Movie” and again with “Lights Out,” both the single and the album hitting number one in dozens of countries.

Yet no one seems to know who he is. For months now, we have swiped through Tik Tok and Instagram to the sound of his voice, a mix of rock and opera without equal in today’s Top 100. We have seen his familiar flower mask on billboards and in playlists, but no clues have been laid hinting at the man’s identity.

Is Escalier Des Fleurs a familiar face, a songwriter who got restless in lockdown? Is he one person or is he a band? Is he a man at all? Comment below with your thoughts!

—

theyl1eD

i haven’t loved an artist so much since one direction. does anyone know who he is???? he must have a family???? a postman???? a manager????

fordvsf3rrari

i’ve decided that he is french. i will not be taking questions.

#why would you name yourself in french if you were not french #i know other countries speak french but they’re not THAT proud of it

147 notes

tonystarkwasright

If I see one more Escalier Des Fleurs theory, I am going to LOSE it. Why do we even care? We’re in a pandemic, people. Your priorities are wrong.

#that said i am a LITTLE invested in this #i think they’re a nepo baby who got access to their parent’s studio

17 notes

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SebIsTheGoat

A fan cam for you all! I got bored during online school and this song makes me think of Singapore last year hahaha 🐝⭐💛 #f1 #formula1 #f1tiktok #sebastianvettel #scuderiaferrari #fyp

🎵original sound - movie by escalier des fleurs

[60 second video montage of Sebastian Vettel’s 2019 win in Singapore with music playing in background. Lyrics include “your blue eyes / champagne on a dark night / fireworks lighting up the sky / you and I / I start to think we’ll never die”]

120K views | 95K likes

—

Escalier Des Fleurs @escalierdesfleurs • 4 October

Hello it’s me 🌸 sorry I’ve been away! Got busy lol but thank you all so much for the kind response to Lights Out, it means the world 🤍

730 replies | 12K retweets | 70K likes

Escalier Des Fleurs @escalierdesfleurs • 4 October

I’ve been working on a little something that is turning into an album. It’ll be a few months but I want you all to know I’m working hard! I will get something to you very soon 🤍

1,034 replies | 17K retweets | 140K likes

Escalier Des Fleurs @escalierdesfleurs • 4 October

also lol does the ladder emoji count as stairs? cuz 🪜🌸 lol

802 replies | 8K retweets | 187K likes

alix @alpinealix • 4 October

@escalierdesfleurs that settles it. you are DEFINITELY under the age of 25

1 reply | 4 retweets | 94 likes

bee 🐝 @beerightback • 4 October

@alpinealix @escalierdesfleurs wait how do u know??

1 reply | 0 retweets | 17 likes

alix @alpinealix • 4 October

@beerightback @escalierdesfleurs no one older than 25 would ever think 🪜🌸 is funny

62 replies | 176 retweets | 9954 likes

alix @alpinealix • 4 October

@escalierdesfleurs why the FUCK did you like that? now everybody knows

17 replies | 11 retweets | 784 likes

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Escalier Des Fleurs Updates @EDFUpdates • 12 March

AHHH!!! @escalierdesfleurs has just posted on Instagram that his next album will be released in TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!! We will be getting “sea view” on 26 March!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

81 replies | 1,034 retweets | 15.2K likes

—

redcarsarefaster

does he HAVE to drop the album on that day. i have a date with f1 that i didn’t want to be tired for

#truly no concern at all for anyone else #jk flower boy i love u

12 notes

justlikeawholelotofthings

MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26 MARCH 26

#FINALLY SOMETHING WORTH LIVING FOR

3 notes

—

[Image of a wooden staircase covered in flowers, specifically blue asters. There is no writing]

Liked by taylorswift and 1,993,718 others

escalierdesfleurs IT IS HERE. this album is the result of hours staring out at the sea and the sky and a love that seems far more infinite than the horizon. I felt very small in those moments, and so I wrote these songs to fill in the gaps. there is nothing that brings me to peace and to pain more than a set of blue eyes and a view of the sea, but maybe they are the same thing 🌊💙

View all 6,314 comments

sallyr777 i think my fav is 278 💙

gasly_the_goat are u singing about @pierregasly?? his eyes are so blue ur so right for that 🥺

—

charles_leclerc 3m

[Video of hands playing on a piano, taken from a clear side angle. Nothing can be heard except for a sad piano melody and the occasional heavy breath. Writing is superimposed over the video saying “bad days are creative ones. music by me”]

—

tilly @maranellomight • 23 May

did you guys know that charles played the piano wtf

1 reply | 0 retweets | 0 likes

A @alpinealix • 23 May

@maranellomight yea he used to post sometimes in early quarantine

1 reply | 0 retweets | 1 like

tilly @maranellomight • 23 May

@alpinealix that is SO wholesome oh my god what a man

0 replies | 0 retweets | 1 like

—

THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK — A CONVERSATION WITH ESCALIER DES FLEURS

By Lucy Melsbach
September 3, 2021 14:45

This past August, I was granted a rare privilege: a conversation with Escalier Des Fleurs, the pop sensation who has taken over the charts while maintaining an anonymity rare in today’s social media fervor. He achieved initial success with “Movie,” a hopeful but longing ballad, and has since released two number one albums, “Lights Out” and “Sea View.” Since then, he’s garnered numerous awards, including the Grammy Awards for Record of the Year (“Movie”), Album of the Year (“Lights Out”), and Best New Artist.

Despite all of this success, Escalier Des Fleurs has never toured or put on a single live show. No one has seen his face, although his manager admits that he is “not bad to look at.” His awards have been accepted in person by an anonymous figure in a flowered mask, an allusion to his famous album covers and his stage name, or by a record company executive. We know only four things for sure: he is a man, likely under the age of 25 (due to a tweet he liked and later unliked last year), he loves to sing, and he writes his own songs.

That is, we knew only four things until now. I was shocked when I received an invitation to speak with Escalier Des Fleurs over a voice call: all previous interviews have been through text and email only. Yes, readers, that means I have heard the man’s voice, and I am proud to say that the rumours are true: I think he is actually French. Emphasis on thinking, though, because he would not confirm or deny when asked, and unfortunately I am not a trained linguist skilled with accents.

I did learn quite a bit, despite his clear unwillingness to reveal information resulting from what must have been hours, if not years, of remarkably thorough PR training. That said, I am excited to share with you what I was allowed to transcribe:

LM: You’ve never taken an interview before. Is there a reason for why you’ve hidden your speaking voice for so long?

[Laughing] I guess I never really had anything to say. I express myself better through music, I think.

What inspired you to start making music then?

Would you believe me if I told you I was bored during the lockdown?

Maybe.

I was very bored during the lockdown. I was, I suppose, switched to part time work and I had free time.

Does that mean you have another job?

I do, yes. Music is a “side gig” or however you say it. A side hustle. It is for fun.

You are very good at it.

Thank you.

You’ve never shown your face before and, until now, no one has ever heard your speaking voice. What made you decide to keep your anonymity?

I was afraid people would find out it was me.

That’s such a classic answer.

It is true, though! [Laughing] I have been writing music for years. I did not want the people I know to think I was writing about them.

Are you?

A little, yes.

Why hide still, though? You’ve achieved immense fame. Surely you want to reap the benefits of it? Free clothing and easy dinner reservations and all that.

I have no need for it, truly. I am content with the level of fame that I have and I do not want more. Besides, my manager said that my anonymity is my “unique selling point” and I should continue it.

It definitely makes you unique.

Thank you, I think.

Your latest album, “Sea View,” has received a great deal of praise. What was it like putting together that album?

Cathartic. I began working full time again midway through last year, and I used writing music as a way to destress from my job and the anxieties I have related to it and other things.

Your other job is stressful then?

I will not tell you what it is. It is stressful, though. Very fast-paced. [Laughing]

You mentioned anxieties too. A lot of your music centers around depression and circling thoughts, as well as an unrequited love. Is this all about the same person?

I have loved one person for a very long time—nearly a decade now, I think. At this point, I do not know how not to love them, and writing about them is like breathing sometimes. It is never easy, but I do not regret it.

Are you going to tell them?

Tell them what? That I write songs about them?

No, that you love them.

Absolutely not.

Why not?

I am pretty sure they do not like me.

I’m sure that’s not true.

Maybe. If he does like me, that is for him to say. I have offered olive branches.

You mean your music.

No, I have offered them in real life too.

Can you give us an example?

[Laughing] If I must. My job…the main one. It is a very competitive field and there are winners and losers. I was very close to winning once, something I had coveted for a long time, but he took it from me right at the end.

And you forgave him for that?

Not immediately. That is what “Mountain Pass” is about. It took me a long time to forgive him, but I used music to understand why I hated him suddenly.

The song is then, quite literally, about overcoming a barrier.

Yes. Eventually I offered an olive branch, and while he took it, we have not really interacted since.

Fair enough. I still think you should tell him though.

Maybe one day.

Switching gears real quick. You’ve accumulated quite a bit of recognition from critics, fans, and musical icons. I know Taylor Swift is a fan.

I love Taylor Swift.

Me too. You’ve won quite a few awards as well. Is there an award you want to win that you haven’t yet?

In music specifically?

Yes?

Sorry, I had to clarify. [Laughing]

Can you tell us why?

Not even a little.

Okay. Is there a music award you want to win that you haven’t?

Song of the year, maybe. The Grammy. Or any recognition for songwriting itself. It would be nice to know my methods and thoughts are valid and strong enough to win. I like to win, you see.

Don’t we all?

Yes, I suppose. I like the rush of it, the adrenaline. It is a great feeling to be at the top.

You win quite a lot of awards.

Not as many as I would like.

—

mytyresarealbono

the escalier des fleurs interview has me CONVINCED he’s a racing driver. like i am fully convinced. part time at the beginning of covid????? super competitive??? winning and losing???? obsessed with winning???? AWARDS HE WANTS THAT ARENT MUSIC????? it’s not fucking badminton yall

#i am CONVINCED #this is the delusion i will die for #BUT WHAT SERIES? #my money is on nascar or indycar #oh my god do u think it’s grosjean

648 notes

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diane @esserefottuti • 4 September

at this point I think I’m like 72% sure that charles leclerc is escalier des fleurs

1 reply | 0 retweets | 3 likes

DUTCH GP TMRW!!! 🦁🦁 @dinosarecool • 4 September

@esserefottuti he cant sing though

1 reply | 0 retweets | 0 likes

diane @esserefottuti • 4 September

@dinosarecool source?

1 reply | 0 retweets | 0 likes

DUTCH GP TMRW!!! 🦁🦁 @dinosarecool • 4 September

@esserefottuti in this video clip where he sings adele?? https://youtu.be/em_GSUTw8Fk

1 reply | 0 retweets | 0 likes

alix @alpinealix • 4 September

@dinosarecool @esserefottuti because a short clip of him ruining adele in a car fully compares to a fully mastered and professionally recorded album

0 replies | 0 retweets | 2 likes

—

14 NOVEMBER

🔒Messages and calls are end-to-end

encrypted. No one outside of this chat, not even

WhatsApp, can read or listen to them. Tap to

learn more.

pierre sucks

omg charles [09:14]

charles > the beatles

omg pierre [09:17]

pierre sucks

ppl are shipping me with the stairs dude [09:17]

charles > the beatles

they are doing what with who [09:18]

pierre sucks

escalier des fleurs!!! [09:19]

charles > the beatles

they are mailing u? to him? [09:23]

pierre sucks

no they think we should date [09:24]

well they think he’s in love with me actually [09:25]

charles > the beatles

sorry what now [09:26]

pierre sucks

YEAH [09:26]

since he sings about blue eyes all the time ig [09:27]

charles > the beatles

that’s it? [09:28]

pierre sucks

and we’re both french [09:29]

charles > the beatles

no ur not [09:29]

pierre sucks

????????????? [09:29]

????????????????????????????????? [09:30]

?????????????????????????????????

????????????????????????????????? [09:32]

charles > the beatles

shut the fuck up [09:33]

pierre sucks

I KNEW IT [09:34]

I FUCKING KNEW IT [09:35]

WHY DIDN’T U TELL ME [09:35]

charles > the beatles

do not tell anyone. seriously. [09:36]

pierre is a genius

i wont but also i have questions [09:37]

charles is literally the beatles

fine [09:38]

pierre is a genius

who else knows??????? [09:39]

charles is literally the beatles

nicolas arthur and lorenzo. maman [09:40]

you, unfortunately [09:41]

pierre is a genius

🥰🥰🥰 [09:41]

are ur songs about max then [09:43]

charles is literally the beatles

fuck off [09:44]

yes [09:45]

do not tell him [09:45]

pierre is a genius

ofc i won’t [09:46]

ok next question. [09:46]

did u actually start cuz u were bored [09:47]

charles is gay for max

stop changing my name [09:48]

and yes [09:48]

pierre is the bestest friend ever!!!

no [09:49]

if u were bored we could’ve hung out 🥺[09:50]

u didn’t need to become harry styles [09:51]

charles is gay for max

i am daft punk u idiot [09:52]

pierre is the bestest friend ever!!!!

the girlies beg to differ [09:53]

hannah monaco

the who [09:53]

WHAT DOES THIS NAME EVEN MEAN [09:54]

pierre is lilly truscott

the tumblr fans!!! for u. and maybe staircase u [09:55]

it’s a hannah montana reference [09:56]

hannah monaco

get the fuck out [09:57]

pierrely truscott

YOU GOT THE LIMO OUT FRONT [09:58]

OH WOAH OH [09:58]

—