Chapter Text
Phoenix isn't exactly used to cooking, nor is he particularly good at it. But, especially since he has a young daughter now, he can't keep avoiding the matter altogether-- one way or another, he has to at least TRY to get better at it.
And certainly, Christmas Eve seemed like as good an occasion as any for him to give it a shot.
Hence the circumstances Phoenix presently finds himself in– standing in the kitchen at 6 o'clock at night, bowls and utensils haphazardly scattered across the kitchen counter, evidence of hastily cleaned up spills apparent across every square inch of the room. Phoenix is hunched over his tablet, triple-checking the recipe pulled up on an ad-laden website to make absolutely certain that he doesn't mess this up.
As he pores over the text onscreen, the words all starting to blend together in a haze, he hears tiny footsteps lightly tip-tapping against the linoleum flooring, and turns his head back to look at their source.
Trucy is peeking into the kitchen wearing her usual pink magician’s uniform, an ensemble she loves so much that she usually wears it even when she’s not performing. Phoenix would be lying if he said it didn't look absolutely adorable on her.
"Wow, it looks like a tornado ran through this place," Trucy comments, her eyes darting around the scene. “Are you making something, Daddy? It smells good in here, at least….” she asks, wandering over towards where Phoenix is standing.
Phoenix pats the top of the oven-stove combo appliance with a grin. “Yep! I’m making us a special Christmas ham!”
“Ham?” Trucy frowns, cocking her head to the side slightly.
“Yeah! You like ham. It comes in little circles in those Lunchables you like.”
"OH YEAH!! Ham is like a brother to me at this point….." Trucy says, squatting down next to Phoenix to peer inside the oven. "Whoa, this thing is HUGE….how big are the crackers and cheese for this?!"
"It’s not…perfectly cognate to Lunchables, I'm sorry to say…."
“Aw, beans,” Trucy pouts. “Still though! It’s rare for you to cook anything more complex than a grilled cheese! I’m impressed, Daddy!”
Phoenix chuckles. “Well, I thought I should at least give it a shot, since it’s Christmas Eve, and all.”
“Ohhhh yeeaaaah! I guess it IS that day today, huh!” Trucy drawls out in feigned innocence, crossing her arms and pointedly looking away. “It completely slipped my mind!”
Phoenix smirks, taking Trucy’s hat off of her head to pat the top of her head. “I’m sure that it did.”
“Hehe….!”
It’s only been a little over half a year since Phoenix lost his attorney’s badge and obtained a daughter in one fell swoop. And while the past several months have been some of the most trying times in Phoenix’s life, Trucy has been nothing short of a beacon of light in the darkness, a blessing that he truly wouldn’t give up for the world.
Still, though. One unfortunate side effect of getting disbarred is that money is FAR tighter than it was back when he was an attorney. And seeing as this is his first Christmas with Trucy, he’s been privately worrying himself sick over making sure that it isn’t disappointing for her.
(I’m probably not going to be able to do anything as grand or extravagant for Trucy as a famous magician troupe could…but I hope I can still give her a good Christmas.)
"Hey Daddy. Can I ask you something?" Trucy says, snapping Phoenix out of his thoughts.
"Oh, yeah, of course sweetie, what’s up?"
“Is there supposed to be smoke coming out of the oven right now?”
“Is there–OH CRAP–!!”
From the time Phoenix took his eyes off the oven to now, black smoke had begun leaking out through the front of it.
“Could it be…steam?” Trucy offers.
“I don’t think steam is black, usually.”
“First time for everything!”
“Ugh, alright, damage control…” Phoenix groans as he switches off the oven. “What did I mess up..? I thought I followed the recipe to the letter…”
Trucy paces around the kitchen. “Aurora borealis….at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country….”
Phoenix leans down and opens the oven door, a massive wall of smoke immediately billowing out as he does; he coughs as he attempts to wave it away.
“Ugh, crap, the smoke detector–”
"I took the batteries out while you weren’t looking! MAGIC!!" Trucy grins, twirling a pair of 9 volt batteries between her fingers.
“…That’s very impressive honey but also somewhat unsafe, please don’t do that in the future…”
With some help from a box fan and a couple trademark middle-of-winter open windows, Phoenix soon manages to clear the smoke out from the kitchen. And when he finally manages to assess the fate of his ham, he finds a charred, blackened husk looking back at him, almost completely unrecognizable from the cut of meat that it was originally.
“I think you burned it, Daddy,” Trucy says matter-of-factly.
“Y-yes, I also got that impression.” Phoenix slumps over the ruined ham defeatedly. “Ugh…I can’t believe I messed it up this badly….this was supposed to be special…”
Trucy puts a reassuring hand on Phoenix’s shoulder. “Aww, don’t worry Daddy! Everyone makes mistakes! I still love you just as much! If anything, this failure humanizes you, so I love you even MORE now!”
Phoenix breathes out a chuckle, then reaches over to ruffle Trucy’s hair. “Thanks, babygirl. Love you too.”
“Aw, shucks!”
“Still though, humanization of Daddy aside, there IS still the manner of dinner….”
Trucy hums. "We could just scavenge something from around the house. Make it a Spaghetti O’s sorta night.”
Phoenix thinks for a moment. “Or we could go to…Denny’s.”
Trucy’s jaw drops. “Wait, THE Denny’s? America’s Favorite Diner? Open 24/7? Former operator of a Tumblr blog?”
“Yeah. I think they let you order pancakes any time of day now.”
“WELL WHAT IN THE FLYING HECK ARE WE STILL STANDING AROUND HERE FOR!!!!” Trucy exclaims, barreling towards the front door of their tiny suburban house. "LET'S GO TO FREAKIN DENNYS!!!"
===
After they return from their excursion to America's Favorite Diner, the rest of the night passes without much incident for the Wrights.
…Early morning the next day, on the other hand…well, that's a different story.
Shortly after midnight or so, Phoenix feels tiny hands against his shoulder shaking him awake, and groggily forces his eyes open. Standing next to his bed is Trucy, wearing a concerned expression.
“Daddy?” she inquires.
“Mmrrrngph…? What is it sweetie?” Phoenix mumbles, reaching over and patting her on the head.
“I heard a weird noise just now,” Trucy explains worriedly. “I think that there might be something on the roof.”
Phoenix groans, cozying up under the warmth of his covers.
“Are you sure you aren’t just hearing things, babygirl?”
*THUD*
*BANG*
Phoenix and Trucy both simultaneously look up at the ceiling, above which the strange noise is DEFINITELY coming from.
“...Unless you didn’t hear that just now, then I’m pretty sure, yeah,” Trucy says.
Phoenix sighs. “Do you need me to check it out?”
“I think I’d feel better if you did, yeah….”
“Alright,” Phoenix grunts, prying himself out from under the covers and mentally preparing himself for venturing out into the harsh cold of the outside.
“I’ll come too!” Trucy chirps, following her dad out of his bedroom, latching herself onto his hand as the two of them make their way down the stairs.
“....Hey Daddy.”
“Mmm?”
"A strange noise? Coming from the roof? On Christmas Eve, no less? I WONDER WHAT IT COULD BE!"
Phoenix looks down at his daughter’s face to see it practically glowing, the excitement radiating off of her all but palpable.
“Sweetie… this isn’t one of your magic tricks, is it?”
“No no no!! I triple-dog swear!!” Trucy insists, seeming vaguely offended at the suggestion. “This is the real deal, promise!”
“Heh…alright then.”
When they reach the bottom of the staircase, Trucy all but corrals Phoenix out of the front door, a wave of bitter cold snapping him out of his half-asleep stupor almost instantly.
(EURUGHHRHGH….I could be cozy in bed right now….) he groans internally.
Trucy hides behind his leg, peering behind it towards the outside. “C’MONNNN DADDY I need you to keep me safe….I’m just a little girl, after all.”
Phoenix, despite his predicament, can't help but chuckle. "Of course, of course…let's go check things out. I'll make sure nothing bad happens, sweetie pie."
"See to it you do!"
Phoenix steps outside, the freshly fallen snow crunching beneath his feet as he walks across the yard, Trucy clinging close to his side.
The two of them head to the end of the driveway, AKA the vantage point necessary to see up on the roof, and Phoenix cranes his neck up slightly to have a look.
“See, hon, it doesn’t look like there’s anyb–”
Before he can finish his sentence, Phoenix feels his heart leap into his throat.
There's somebody on the roof.
Someone…ALIVE, and MOVING AROUND, and wearing a distinctive red suit and hat.
Trucy, perceptive as ever, notices the mysterious figure as well, and loudly gasps.
“IT’S SANTA!” she exclaims. “Do you think I could get him to sign my hat??”
“H-hang on, Truce, I don't think that's Santa,” Phoenix says, eyes narrowing, extending a protective hand in front of his daughter.
Trucy shoots Phoenix a quizzical look. “What do you mean, it's OBVIOUSLY him. Who ELSE would be on our roof on Christmas Eve wearing that gaudy ensemble?”
“It…could be a burglar or something.”
Trucy rolls her eyes at him. “Oh Daddy, where's your sense of holiday spirit?”
(Of course this can't be Santa…there’s no such thing. And I'm not about to let some random guy in a Santa suit walk around on the roof of my house in the middle of the night…)
Phoenix rears back his pointing finger, then exaggeratedly points up at the figure and shouts at the top of his lungs-
“HOLD IT!!!”
The figure immediately jolts, startled by Phoenix's sudden outburst in his loud courtroom voice.
And while what happens next occurs only within the span of an instant– for Phoenix, it seems to last a lifetime.
“WHOAHAOHAOHAOHH!!!” the figure yells as he loses his footing on the icy rooftop, flailing around to attempt to regain his balance, but to no avail– he falls over with a wet crunch, then tumbles down the slope of the rooftop– and eventually, off of its side, plummeting down two stories and landing on the hard concrete below with a nasty-sounding THWACK, the thin layer of snow doing little to cushion his fall.
Phoenix and Trucy simply stand there in shock for a moment, processing the scene they just witnessed– until the younger Wright breaks the silence.
“SANTA!!” she shrieks, rushing over towards the man. “ARE YOU OKAY? IS YOUR HAND INJURED? CAN YOU STILL SIGN AUTOGRAPHS?”
“Wait, Truce, don’t get too close!!" Phoenix cries after her, though she doesn't stop running.
Phoenix himself can really only hear the sound of his own heart pounding on his ears, his body on autopilot as he runs over.
(Oh my god. That guy fell of our roof. If he's dead, then….oh God …!)
“Helloooo? Santa?” Trucy lilts as she squats down next to where the figure landed.
“T-Trucy!!” Phoenix yelps, running over to his daughter’s side. “I told you not to get too close!”
“It’s fine, Daddy, it's just Santa, after all.”
"I don't think–"
"Hellooooo? Santa? Are you okay?" Trucy reaches her hand out to shake the Santa figure's shoulder.
Before Phoenix even has a chance to protest, the man's coat gives way beneath Trucy's touch, any person or thing inside seeming to deflate into nothingness, leaving nothing but an empty Santa suit behind.
Trucy loudly gasps. “DADDY, HE VANISHED!!” she cries, turning back and looking up at her father. “Just like Obi-Wan Kenobi!!”
“What the– hang on, WHAT?!”
Phoenix kneels down and opens up the man’s coat, and sure enough– there’s no trace of anyone inside.
(Wh-what the….?!)
(Could he have slipped out somehow? N-no, one of us definitely would have noticed…but then…how did…?)
“Oh, Daddy, look, there’s something inside the suit!” Trucy exclaims. “It’s not a person, though.”
Trucy reaches into the coat and retrieves a small business card, which she quickly holds up to her face and scrutinizes.
“What does it say?” Phoenix asks, peering over Trucy’s shoulder to try to see what she has.
Trucy pauses a moment, then slowly turns around and holds up the card, the front of which simply reads:
SANTA CLAUS.
“It’s a business card," Trucy huffs, tears welling in her eyes. “SANTA'S business card!! This was SANTA, Daddy!! He was SANTA and you killed him!!!”
Before he has a chance to react, Trucy stands up and begins to bang her little fists against Phoenix’s thigh. “HOW COULD YOU!! You’re the enemy of all children in the world!”
“H-HANG ON, I didn’t kill him, there–there isn’t even a body!!”
“Yeah!!! Because you killed him!!!!”
“I–okay, I mean, even if this WAS Santa and I DID make him fall off of the roof, he slipped and fell of his own accord, so-”
“Oh, you’re not a lawyer anymore Daddy, you can’t weasel your way outta this one!!” Trucy points at him accostingly. “Let’s see that argument hold up in a court of law, no jury in the country would find you innocent!”
“This country doesn’t have juries.”
“EXACTLY MY POINT!”
“Is there some sort of secret passage here or something…?” Phoenix mutters, kneeling down and clearing away some snow beneath the discarded clothes.
“Stop trying to find an out, Daddy! Accept the burden of what you’ve done!!”
“Oh, come on, you’re a magician, this has gotta be some sorta smoke and mirrors situation, Truce, people don’t just vanish into thin air like that!!”
“They do if they’re Santa!”
“I'm not so sure about that…”
“Oh man, oh man, this is really bad,” Trucy panics, pacing back and forth in front of their house, her little feet leaving tiny bootprints as she walks. “If it gets out that my Daddy killed Santa, I'll be a pariah…! Not only that, if Santa’s dead, who’s gonna give me presents?!”
Trucy pirouettes on one foot and points towards her father. “Daddy, we need to figure out a plan to get you off the hook for– wait, what are you doing?”
When Trucy looks back towards her father, she sees that she’s pulling the coat of the disintegrated Santa over his shoulders.
“Trying on his jacket,” Phoenix says, adjusting the coat on himself. “I mean. Warm winter coats like this aren’t exactly cheap, and I'm not a lawyer anymore, so….”
“You killed him and now you’re looting his corpse ?!” Trucy shouts. “Are there no depths to which you won’t plunge?!”
“Ooh, this thing’s cozy,” Phoenix mumbles.
“Aaand he’s not listening to me,” Trucy grumbles. “Okay. Cool.”
Trucy crosses her arms and paces around the front yard grumpily, then stills when she glances up at the roof for the first time since Santa’s disintegration.
“Um….hey Daddy?”
“Mmm?”
“There are reindeer on the roof.”
“THERE–HANG ON, WHAT?!”
Phoenix rushes back over near the end of the driveway where Trucy is standing, and looks up–
And sure enough, eight reindeer– actual, living reindeer, all tied to a single sleigh–sit atop the roof of the Wrights’ house.
The two simply look up in silence for a moment.
“Well," Trucy says. "That’s what we in the lawyer business would probably call. Decisive evidence."
“Those…those reindeer weren’t there before." Phoenix balks. "We looked up at the roof and those DEFINITELY weren’t there.”
“Putting on Santa's coat must have given you his powers, or something!” Trucy speculates. “Like how you can walk on water after you eat a communion wafer!"
“I…don’t think that last part is exactly right, but–”
“Oh, maybe for YOU it isn’t, heathen.”
Phoenix simply gapes at the sight before him for a moment, then falls to his knees.
“Oh my god, that guy really was Santa,” he breathes. “Oh my god, I really did kill Santa Claus.”
“And looted his corpse,” Trucy adds.
“OH, GOD!!” Phoenix buries his face in his hands.
“Though to be fair, I think stealing a coat off of a corpse is a bit sketchy regardless of the corpse’s identity.”
“MRMRRPHGHH….” Phoenix groans, then dramatically collapses forward and splays out, lying face-down on the ground.
“Daddy…?” Trucy asks, lightly prodding her dad with her foot. “Are you okay?”
“God….I really stepped in it this time, huh?” Phoenix mutters, his voice muffled by the snow. “It seems like….all that I ever do lately is mess things up.”
Trucy sighs dramatically, kneeling down next to her father and patting his shoulder reassuringly a couple of times. “It’s fine, Daddy….you and I are a package deal, for better or for worse. So even though you killed Santa, I won't abandon you. I’ll even help you flee the country if you want. I’m still learning how to make people vanish, though….”
“Flee the country?” Phoenix’s head pops up out of the snow. “To WHERE? Santa is an international icon!! There’s nowhere on earth they won’t be looking for me!!”
“Hmmmmm….” Trucy hums, then, after a moment, points to the reindeer still on their roof. “Do you think we could ask these guys to take us to the moon?”
“I don’t think the reindeer are gonna be fans of us after we, y’know. Killed their master.”
“I don’t think they’re smart enough to hold grudges, Daddy,” Trucy says. “Besides, what other options do we have, really? After all, if the reindeer don’t kill you, the angry mobs will.”
“Ever the optimist, my sweet daughter,” Phoenix says wryly, hoisting himself up and brushing the snow off of his looted jacket. “Are you sure you aren’t just suggesting this because you want to meet the reindeer?”
“I can have multiple reasons!” Trucy huffs. ”Besides, if you really did kill Santa, you need to take responsibility for your actions! So many kids’ presents are gonna get undelivered because of your callous act of Kringlecide!”
“H-hey, it was an accident, this is Kringleslaughter at best…”
Trucy rolls her eyes. “Sure Daddy, you keep telling yourself that.”
Phoenix puts his hands in the pocket of his jacket and looks up at the roof.
"How are we even supposed to get up there, though…" he wonders aloud.
“We can take the ladder up!” Trucy chirps.
“The la–” Phoenix looks back down to see Trucy running towards a ladder that wasn’t there a moment earlier. “OH, WHAT THE HELL, is this just….the stuff randomly appearing in my front yard convention or something?!”
“This is a good sign!” Trucy chirps as she starts climbing up. “I don’t think this magic ladder would have showed up if they didn't want us to ride Santa's sleigh! C’mon Daddy, hurry up, time's a wastin'! ”
“...Sure. Why not. This night couldn’t get any weirder….” Phoenix mumbles as he climbs up after Trucy, who’s already halfway up the ladder.
When he reaches the roof, he finds his daughter already seated in the sleigh, excitedly holding the reins.
Phoenix’s eyes wander over to the reindeer, which – very much are real, actual reindeer,now that he’s seeing them up close.
“C'mon, Daddy, I’m gonna leave without you if you don’t hurry!!” Trucy calls, waving Phoenix over.
“C-coming, coming….”
Phoenix very carefully treads towards the other side of the roof (given that its lethality is now all but proven) and climbs into the sleigh, taking the reins from Trucy as he does.
“Hey!!” she huffs indignantly.
“You’re only eight years old, Truce, let me handle this.”
“Do you even know HOW to drive this thing?” Trucy crosses her arms.
“Of course I do,” Phoenix says, even though he doesn’t. “How hard could it even be, here, watch.”
Phoenix clears his throat, then sharply cracks the reins.
"Giddy up!!"
The reindeer do not react.
"…Giddy up?" Trucy repeats, sounding unimpressed. "They're not horses , Daddy,"
"L-let me just…" Phoenix blusters, cracking the reins once more. "Heeya!!"
No reaction.
"Mush…!"
Nothing.
A brief pause, then Phoenix silently passes Trucy the reins, who takes them with smug satisfaction.
"Let's show you how a REAL expert does things!" she says confidently, cracking the reins as she hollers, “ON DASHER, ON DANCER, ON PRANCER AND VIXEN! ON COMET, ON CUPID, ON DONNER AND BLITZEN!!!”
Almost instantly, the eight reindeer all surge forwards in unison, Phoenix being thrown back in his seat as the sleigh lurches ahead.
"WAAAAUGGHHH!" he screams, forcing his eyes shut and clinging on to the body of the sleigh for dear life.
"WOOOHOOOOO!!" Trucy yells at the top of her lungs, giggling wildly as the reindeer and sleigh, Wrights in tow, leap over the side of the roof….and keep going, beginning their ascent into the night sky.
“Open your eyes, Daddy! You gotta see this!!” Trucy calls over to Phoenix, raising her voice slightly because of the wind.
A moment’s hesitation, then Phoenix cracks his eyes open, and his heart drops into his feet as he does.
The sleigh is at LEAST a thousand feet in the air and only going higher by the second, rows of cookie cutter suburban houses getting smaller and smaller below them, the city around them stretching out into the horizon.
“Holy CRAP, we’re actually flying right now,” Phoenix blanches. “I can’t believe that thing you did actually worked…!”
“Hehehe! When it comes to secularist Christmas lore, there’s no bigger expert than Trucy Wright!!” she beams. “Oh, fun fact, Daddy. The names ‘Donner’ and ‘Blitzen’ are derived from the German words for thunder and lightning!”
“Hehe….” Phoenix laughs nervously, trying to settle himself down. "That's interesting! Where’d you learn that?”
“Wikipedia!!” Trucy replies cheerily.
“Ah, good ol’ Wikipedia…never led us astray before.”
Phoenix looks off to the side, idly watching the nighttime scenery pass by, the night dead quiet save for the rush of wind in their ears.
(This really is surreal….)
“DADDY LOOK!” Trucy's voice calls from the other side of the sleigh. “The cars look like ants down there!!
Phoenix looks over to see that Trucy, in the split second he took his eyes off of her, has begun to lean half of her body over the edge of the sleigh.
“T-TRUCY!” Phoenix yelps loudly. “G-GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE!!”
Phoenix grabs her and pulls her back, and Trucy squeals indignantly in response.
“DADDY, GEEZ, I’M FINE!!”
“J-just for my peace of mind, okay babygirl?”
Trucy lets out a sigh, crossing her arms. “Oh, Daddy, you’re so needy. Sometimes I wonder who’s taking care of whom in this arrangement.”
Phoenix lightly chuckles, stroking Trucy’s hair. “....Me too.”
For a long while after that, the two of them simply soar above the clouds in silence, the city below them slowly thinning out until they’re flying over the countryside, small towns occasionally appearing to break up the monotony.
Despite the excitement, Trucy’s seemingly boundless energy soon peters out, and she quickly falls asleep against Phoenix’s shoulder. He himself is far too wired with anxiety at this point to even THINK about falling back asleep, much as he wants to.
Also– despite what Trucy had insisted about the two of them taking initiative and delivering the undelivered gifts, the reindeer and sleigh haven’t attempted to make any stops thus far. Probably because they can tell that the two of them aren’t actually Santa, Phoenix reckons.
But it does beg the question, where exactly ARE they going? Why did Phoenix put himself and his daughter in this sleigh without knowing that, come to think of it?
(I did….NOT think this through, huh.)
Eventually, the sleigh starts flying over the ocean, which makes Phoenix’s anxiety spike immensely.
(We’ve been going north this entire time and haven’t changed course, at least not that I can tell…..did we fly over the entirety of Canada just now?)
Phoenix's semi-panicked jostling about seems to have waken Trucy, who groans slightly as she sits up.
“Mrrrm…?”
“Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Phoenix apologizes.
“‘S’fine, ” Trucy mumbles, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "We’re over the ocean,” she points out.
“Yes, I'm….. I can’t say I'm too thrilled about it.”
“I wonder if this was a calculated trick on the part of the reindeer to dump us in the sea as an act of revenge for your Kringlecide," Trucy speculates. "Daddy, quick, grab onto something, they’re not getting rid of us that easily!!”
“Oh my god Truce, don’t say that, you’re gonna give me a heart attack.”
“Wait, hang on, I see something,” Trucy (thankfully) changes the subject, pointing off towards the distance.
Phoenix looks in the direction his daughter is pointing, and although it’s faint, given that they have only moonlight as a light source, it’s apparent that sheets of ice are beginning to peek over the horizon.
“It’s the polar ice caps!” Trucy chirps. “What’s left of them, at least!”
Suddenly, a seatbelt icon lights up on the dashboard of the sleigh with a *BOONG* noise, which makes both Wrights jump in surprise.
A disembodied female voice announces: " We are now beginning our descent. Please fasten your seatbelts."
“Wait, this thing has seatbelts?” Phoenix looks down, patting around his lap; sure enough, there have been lap belts installed on the seats this entire time. Well, presumably the entire time, at least.
“Aw man, we’re gonna get a ticket from the sleigh cops if they find out….” Trucy laments.
“Here sweetie, let me buckle you in," Phoenix says, reaching over to fasten Trucy’s seatbelt. "You're supposed to do your kids before yourself, I think.”
“You’re thinking of the oxygen mask thingies Daddy, but I appreciate the sentiment,” Trucy says as Phoenix clicks her seatbelt shut. “Can I buckle YOU in now? So we’re even and all that.”
Phoenix chuckles. “Sure thing, sweetheart.”
Trucy’s little hands reach over and deftly click Phoenix’s seatbelt over his lap.
“Teamwork makes the dream work!!!’ she beams, pumping her fist in the air.
Phoenix loves her terribly.
As soon as both seatbelts are fastened, the sleigh lurches as the reindeer pull its angle sharply downward, beginning to descend towards, judging by the trajectory, a particularly large floe of ice.
“Um. is it just me or does it seem like we’re gonna crash into the ice,” Phoenix panics, looking around frantically. “We’re not slowing down at all.”
“Ah, I see….without Santa, the reindeer have no purpose, so they intend to take themselves out with us,” Trucy sighs. “Tragic, if you think about it.”
“HOW are you so nonchalant about that??”
Phoenix is cut off by a conspicuously loud groaning and cracking sound. At first, his heart shoots into his throat as he worries that it’s a problem with the sleigh, but he soon realizes that the sound is actually coming from the floe of ice below.
“Hm?” Trucy, apparently noticing it as well, pokes her head off to the side to get a better look.
Phoenix quickly notices that the terrain is beginning to conspicuously change below them, ice and snow rapidly being displaced as a large formation comes into view.
The noise only gets louder as its source becomes apparent— the entrance to a decently large tunnel rising from the surface of the ice, its angle perfectly aligned to receive the reindeer and sleigh.
Realization dawns on Phoenix. "Wait, is this…the North Pole?"
“We’re north and there’s ice, so I’d say it’s gotta be!!”
The reindeer finally begin to slow down as they approach the tunnel, entering it with laserlike precision; inside, artificial lighting mounted on the walls flashes by with a strobe-like effect as the sleigh makes its way through.
It isn’t long before the tunnel exits into a large hangar-like structure built inside of an icy cave, a decently lengthy runway visible on the ground below. The reindeer level out their angle until they’re parallel with it and begin to slow their speed drastically, trepidatiously going in for a landing.
Phoenix terrifiedly clings to the sleigh and his daughter, who seems like she’s actually ENJOYING this somehow.
Finally-- the sleigh touches down, far more gently than Phoenix was expecting it to. The antiquated mode of transportation and its draft animals skid across the icy runway for a brief while until the sleigh comes to a complete stop, Phoenix and Trucy both lurching forward slightly as it does due to the momentum.
The two simply sit there for a moment, until, as usual, Trucy breaks the silence.
“WOOOOOOO!!” she cheers, unbuckling her seatbelt and standing up excitedly. “That was SOOO sick!!!”
“I think I’m going to BE sick….” Phoenix groans, leaning himself over the dashboard of the sleigh and letting out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.
(We survived. That’s al that really matters, at the end of the day…)
Phoenix looks around and surveys his surroundings; like he noticed earlier, they’re in a large hangar, seeming to be built in some sort of natural cave; aside from the runway, the only feature in the room is the entrance to a hallway of some sort on the far side of the room, which curves slightly so that it’s impossible to see where it leads.
“Alright….now what….” Phoenix mumbles.
“Um…Hello?” comes an unfamiliar voice to Phoenix’s left, from outside of the sleigh.
“AAAUGUGH!!” Phoenix screams, leaping away in shock and bumping into Trucy as he does.
“EEEEK!!!” Trucy shrieks, then, after a moment, turns and pouts at her father angrily. “Don’t SCARE me like that, Daddy!!!”
“S-sorry, sorry, I just….”
Phoenix turns towards the source of the voice, where standing next to the sleigh is a tall woman with long, dark chestnut-brown hair and a small mole below her lip, wearing a sharp business suit and a slightly amused expression.
But what most catches Phoenix’s attention about her isn’t any of that stuff, really – more pressingly… her ears are long and pointed.
“Mr. Wright,” she says professionally. “It’s good to meet you. My name is Mia Fey, Director of North Pole Operations.”
Phoenix just gapes at her a moment before responding. “Uh……hi?”
“Hi! I’m Trucy Wright!!” Trucy chirps, doing a small curtsey towards Mia. “And this here is my Daddy Phoenix, though you already know that, I see. Did you know that he killed Santa?”
“T-TRUCY–”
“Yes, I’m aware about the previous Santa’s death, that’s…what I’m here to discuss with you, actually,” Mia sighs.
“Oh god. You’re gonna execute me, aren’t you,” Phoenix’s face pales.
Trucy gasps, then wails “NOOOOOO!!!” throwing herself over Phoenix’s lap protectively. “I won’t let you take my Daddy!!! He may have killed Santa, but…he’s really nice to me!! And I love him a lot!!
“T…Trucy…” Phoenix says.
Trucy points at Mia accusingly. “So I'm not gonna let you throw him into a gladiator ring and make him fight an abominable snowman, you she-wench!!”
“W-wait, an abominable snowman? Is that what they do here??”
“I mean, if the North Pole has capital punishment it’s probably something quirky like that,” Trucy shrugs. “Or like, getting impaled by a big candy cane or something.”
“OH GOD….I have too much dignity to die in such a humiliating way!!”
“Ehhhh..???” Trucy waves her hand back and forth slightly.
Mia kneels down slightly to be level with Trucy, a small smile on her face. “Trucy, was it?” she says gently. “Don’t worry. We’re not gonna do anything bad to your dad. And he’s not in trouble, either.”
“He’s not?!”
“I’m not?!”
“I’ll explain more inside,” Mia says, gesturing for them to follow her. “Come with me, you two. Like I said, we have a lot to discuss.”
“Well, you heard the lady, Daddy!” Trucy says, hopping out of the sleigh.
“W-wait, are you really just gonna…follow her?!”
“Well, what else are we supposed to do?” Trucy turns back towards Phoenix, hands on her hips. “C’mon Daddy! We’re gonna leave without you if you don’t hurry up!!”
With that, Trucy runs after Mia, who’s waiting at the entrance to the hallway expectantly.
“Urngh…dammit….” Phoenix mutters, clambering out of the sleigh and jogging to catch up with his daughter.
===
Phoenix and Trucy follow Mia down the long corridor, which winds and turns as it goes on seemingly endlessly. Trucy clings on to Phoenix’s hand, though he can tell it’s more for his sake than for hers.
The three of them walk silently, the only sounds the echoes of their footsteps against the tiled floor.
Phoenix awkwardly clears his throat and breaks the silence. “So you’re like….an elf, huh?” He says to Mia. “An…actual elf?”
“Half-elf, if you wanna be technical about it,” Mia responds curtly.
“Whoa…just like from Lord of the Rings….”
“Please forgive my father’s rudeness, ma’am,” Trucy rolls her eyes. “He has a tendency to act before he thinks. As CLEARLY evidenced by him killing Santa.”
“Geez, you kill Santa Claus ONE TIME and never hear the end of it–”
“Oh, by the way, you’re really pretty, miss!” Trucy ignores Phoenix, releasing his hand and running forward to walk next to mia. “I hope that I’M as pretty as you one day!!”
Mia smiles. “Why, thank you. I’m sure that you will be.”
Trucy looks back at Phoenix with an enthusiastic look on her face. “YA HEAR THAT, DADDY?!”
Phoenix gestures Trucy over, and she cocks her head to the side slightly, falling back into step with her father.
“What’s the 411, Daddy-O?”
“Can we really trust that this woman is telling the truth?” Phoenix whispers to Trucy, inclining his head towards Mia. “How do we know she didn’t just lie about not punishing me to get us to come with her?”
“Geez Daddy, I thought believing in people was your whole thing.”
“I’m…doing less of that these days.”
“Hmm….” Trucy knits her brow, crossing her arms. “Well, I didn’t perceive any tells when she was talking to us, so I THINK she’s telling the truth. But if she wasn’t, she’ll have to go through me!” she huffs, pounding her chest a couple times. “No one hurts my Daddy and gets away with it!!”
Phoenix laughs quietly. “Thanks, babygirl. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“And here we are.” Phoenix and Trucy look up as Mia pipes up from a few meters ahead of them– she's standing, back turned to the Wrights, in front of a large set of double doors positioned at the hallway's terminus.
Mounted on the wall directly next to the doors is what would appear to be a fingerprint scanner, which Mia promptly presses her thumb against. A brief pause, then the doors slide open with a hiss.
And the sight that greets Phoenix and Trucy on the other side is nothing short of breathtaking.
A massive operation sprawls out before them, the double doors depositing them onto a raised balcony surrounding a vast factory below, a whole host of strange-looking machines whirring and buzzing.
"WHOOAAA!!" Trucy shouts, running over to the railing separating the balcony from the factory below and leaning against it. “This place is HUGE!!!”
“This is the factory,” Mia says with a smile, walking over next to Trucy. “Where the magic happens, quite literally.”
“As a magic expert, this place gets the seal of approval, holy GUACAMOLE!”
“Oh, sis!! You’re back!” A cheery-sounding voice bubbles from nearby, and Phoenix turns to see two girls walking towards their group– one looking to be in her late teens, with long jet-black hair pulled into a small bun at the top of her head, the other who couldn’t be older than eight or nine, her light brown hair pulled into a peculiar looped style. Both girls also have the same long, pointed ears that Mia does.
“Miss Mia!!” Pearl chirps, running past Maya and towards Mia excitedly.
…Excitedly at first, that is, until she notices Phoenix and Trucy standing behind her elder cousin, at which point she stops in her tracks with a tiny gasp, then rushes back to hide behind Maya's leg.
“She’s a bit shy, sorry,” Maya says apologetically, patting Pearl lightly on the top of her head.
“This is my sister Maya and my cousin Pearl,” Mia explains. “They insisted on helping me with receiving you, even though I told them I had it covered…” she frowns
“Oh, covered, schmovered, I’m not giving up a chance to meet a new Santa!!” Maya effuses, walking towards Phoenix and grabbing his hand, shaking it enthusiastically. “The name’s Maya Fey!! Pleasure to meet you Mr…. Bright!”
“It’s, ah, Wright, actually…and-y-yeah, likewise….”
(New…Santa…?)
Trucy looks at Pearl curiously, then bounces over to where she hides behind Maya’s leg.
“Hi!’ she beams.
“Um…H-hello….” Pearl says quietly.
“How old are you?”
“I’m…nine…”
“Oh, that’s cool! I’m eight. You’re a year older than me so I gotta be respectful towards you. OH, I really like your hair also!”
Pearl blushes, cupping her face in her hands. “OH!! TH-THANK YOU…!!”
“My name’s Trucy Wright! I’m a magician, though I’m still learning the ropes.”
“A MAGICIAN….” Pearl's eyes widen as she pokes her head out further from behind her cousin’s leg, her interest now fully piqued.
“Trucy, why don’t you head off with Maya and Pearls while your dad and I head to my office to talk?” Mia suggests. “We have a lot of things to discuss regarding the present…situation.”
“Yeah! We can show you around! Not every day a kid gets to come to the North Pole, I reckon!” Maya grins.
“OMG YEAH!! That sounds like a blast!!” Trucy effuses.
“I, um…I don’t know if I feel comfortable being separated from Trucy,” Phoenix protests quietly.
“Aw, don’t worry, I’ll be fine, Daddy!” Trucy chirps, astute as ever, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Pearl and Miss Maya seem nice! And even if they aren’t, I could take them in a fight, I think!”
“She’s right!” Maya bubbles.
Phoenix hesitates for a moment, then relents, kneeling down and putting a hand on his daughter’s shoulder.
“...Alright. Promise me you’ll be good, okay? And careful?”
Trucy salutes, whacking the side of her hand against her forehead. “AYE-AYE, DADDY!! ALSO, OW.”
“There’s my girl.” Phoenix kisses the crown of her head and hugs her. “Love you lots. Be good, okay?”
“I will be good within reason!”
"…I'll take it!"
===
Mia’s office is a small, cozy room— one that looks surprisingly like a regular office for one located at the North Pole.
In the corner of the room sits a large potted plant, which Mia currently stands watering very generously and very silently with her back to Phoenix, who's sitting awkwardly on the other side of her desk.
After a long while, Mia finishes watering her plant, sets the watering can down on a shelf next to it, then promptly walks over to her desk and slams her hand down on it, causing Phoenix to jolt in surprise.
“So!!” Mia exclaims, breaking the awkward silence that had settled over the room. “Ya killed Santa.”
“I-I SWEAR it was an accident,” Phoenix stammers. “I-I don’t know if you were just lying back there to make Trucy feel better, but….if you have to punish me, I have to ask for some sort of leniency. If not for my sake, then for hers.”
Mia breathes out a laugh through her nose as she settles down into her chair.
“You can relax, Mr. Wright, like I told you before, you aren’t in any sort of trouble. We just need to lay out some groundwork to figure out where we go from here.”
Phoenix knits his brow. “Wh…what do you mean?”
Mia levels him with an exasperated look. “You didn’t read the card at all, did you.”
“The one that said Santa on it?” Phoenix frowns. "I think Trucy still has that…"
Mia rolls her eyes. "So basically," she begins, "should anything happen to the current Santa in the line of duty, the responsibilities and title of Santa Claus will then devolve into the first person to wear the deceased's coat. It’s called the Santa Clause."
“....The what?”
“In other words, you’re Santa now.”
“....I’M WHAT?!”
“Surprise!” Mia grins, punctuating this with jazz hands. “By putting on the coat, you agreed to the contract put forth on the card, and are now bound to it!”
“H-hey, hey, contract law was never my forte, but I'm pretty sure that a contract signed without the knowledge of one of the parties can’t be legally binding," Phoenix argues.
"Maybe not in your jurisdiction, but here in the North Pole legal system, it very much can!!" Mia smirks.
“Eurrghghg….” Phoenix groans." So, wait. Backing up for a sec….Santa isn't a single person?!"
“Yeah, it's like–okay, you know Doctor Who?”
“I….know of him, yes.”
“Okay so the Santa situation is sorta like that. Just pretend you’re a different actor playing the same guy. Put your own spin on it if you want, go nuts.”
“I see…" Phoenix mumbles. "Hey, weird question maybe, has there ever been a female Santa?”
“Oh yeah, of course," Mia replies. "Anyone can become a Santa.”
“How does the whole like…beard situation work with a female Santa?”
“The–oh! That’s a common misconception, actually!” Mia says. “Aside from the red coat, Santas keep their normal appearances.”
“Really!” Phoenix raises his eyebrows in surprise.
“Yeah, it's sort of a funny story. There was this one Santa in the 1800s who was a real attention whore. Always sitting down for paintings and making guys write poems about him having a bowl full of jelly or whatever. Really put our whole operation under a LOT of unwanted scrutiny. After that guy finally kicked the bucket, we put rules in place making it mandatory for Santas to keep their title a secret.
“Still though, the damage was done….that particular Santa’s image persisted in popular culture, to the point where most people think that Santa is just one guy because of him.”
"Huh! You learn something new every day…"
"Anyway!" Mia grins, clapping her hands together. "Now that that's all out of the way, it's time to get started with your official Santa orientation!!"
Mia reaches below her desk, and produces a thick, heavy-looking binder, which she slams down on her desk and opens up.
"Let's begin by reading through this, shall we?"
Phoenix groans. "Oh, geez….."
===
Trucy putters alongside Maya and Pearl, gawking in awe at her surroundings. After Mia and Phoenix had split off to head to their boring grown-up meeting, the remaining three had taken an elevator to the factory level of the facility, and the whimsical-yet-imposing-looking machines now tower over the younger Wright on all sides.
Maya is guiding her through the factory floor for an impromptu tour, Pearl still quietly sticking close to her side, though her curiosity about Trucy is readily apparent.
"And this is the bear-stuffer!" Maya chirps, proudly gesturing up at a large machine with a transparent vat full of stuffing at its center. "We call it that, but you can use it to stuff anything, really. One time I used it to put stuffing in a turkey. I dunno why."
Trucy lets out an impressed whistle. “Wow…y'know, when Daddy set our ham on fire last night, I never could have dreamed that my Christmas would end up like this!”
“Oh yeah, hey, speaking of,” Maya says, leaning in conspiratorially, “What sorta guy is your dad, Trucy? I was only able to meet him a little bit earlier, I'm curious.”
“Hmmmmm….well,” Trucy hums, crossing her arms.. “He's a bit of a doofus sometimes. But he's also really nice to me...and he cares about me a lot. So he's pretty cool, I guess. OH, and he lets me practice magic tricks before school if I finish all my homework!”
“OOH, you ARE a magician!!” Maya gushes. “I assumed because of the outfit, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions.”
“Nope! Magic’s in my blood!” Trucy declares proudly.
Pearl has been still and silent pretty much this entire time, but as soon as the conversation had turned to the topic of magic, she’d perked up significantly with interest.
This doesn’t escape Trucy’s notice, and the younger girl turns towards Pearl with a grin. "May I perhaps interest you two in a demonstration?"
“OOH, SWAG!” Maya lilts enthusiastically.
Pearl jolts slightly as Trucy directly addresses her, but even SHE can’t pretend she’s not excited. “Oh!! Um!! Y-yes, if you wouldn't mind, I'd love that a lot!” she says shyly.
"Hehe! Comin right up!!!" Trucy pulls out the deck of cards she always keeps on hand and performs a simple card trick for the Feys, using Pearl as her volunteer, of course– the youngest Fey being, she might add, a FANTASTIC audience all the while. She reacts often, and strongly, her interest in what she’s seeing practically palpable.
As Trucy finishes her trick with a flourish, Pearl lets out a gasp, her jaw hanging open in amazement.
"WHOOOA!" she gushes, now fully out from hiding behind Maya.
“OOH!!” Maya coos, then claps for Trucy a couple times. “Damn, that’s crazy impressive.”
"How did you do that?!" Pearl asks, her little hands balled up into determined fists.
“Hehe!! A great magician never reveals her secrets, Miss Fey!" Trucy winks.
"Well!! Could the great magician reveal it… just this once, maybe!!" Pearl presses. “If it isn’t too much trouble for you!!”
Trucy pauses, then giggles at her remark. “Hehe!! I like you, Pearl. Do you want to be friends?”
“OH!! Um…!!!” Pearl, caught off guard, immediately loses her newfound confidence, and blushes a bright red, withdrawing into herself as her eyes rapidly flit back and forth between Trucy and her cousin. “C-can I be friends with her, Miss Maya?”
Maya snickers, leaning up against the side of the stuffing machine. “You don’t have to ask me, sweetie, if that’s what you want, then go ahead.”
Pearl’s face lights up, and she turns towards Trucy, her hair loops bouncing as she does. “Then yes!!!” she says. “I’ve never been friends with a human before, so please tell me if I say anything offensive!!”
“Can do!! I’ve never been friends with a half-elf either, so, same!” Trucy then cocks her head to the side slightly. “OH, now that we're officially friends, important question. Do you guys have internet up here?”
“Ah, umm…!!” Pearl bites her thumb in thought. “Do we, Miss Maya?”
“We do!”
“We do!!” Pearl echoes cheerily.
“Cool! Do you want to play Minecraft together?”
Pearl bites her thumb once again. “I’m very sorry. I…don’t know what that is.”
Trucy loudly gasps, then looks at Maya accostingly. “How have you guys been raising this poor girl!”
Maya holds up her hands. “I know, I know!”
“Okay, so it’s a video game, right?” Trucy begins. “And basically, you–”
“Ah, there you three are,” a familiar voice calls over from a few meters away; the three girls turn to see Mia and Phoenix walking towards them, the latter looking somewhat glum.
“Oh, I'll explain more later, Pearly! DADDDYYY!” she cries, running over towards her dad, whose expression immediately brightens up as he catches her in a hug.
“Haha!! Hey, kiddo. Were you good while I was away?”
“I'd like to think so!” she chirps. “Oh, also, Daddy! Can you buy Pearly Minecraft? I'd like to transfer one of my Christmas present slots over to her make this happen, if that’s cool.”
Phoenix chuckles. “You’ve known this girl for all of an hour and you’re already buying her Minecraft?” he asks bemusedly. “You sure make friends fast…”
“The devil works fast but Trucy Wright works faster!!” she grins, tilting her hat forward.
“We caught up on the situation,” Mia explains, catching up with everyone else. “Right, Phoenix?”
“Rrmmm…” Phoenix groans, his expression falling as he hangs his head.
“Sooo! How you coping!!” Maya lilts, leaning forward mischievously with her hands behind her back. “Everything okay up there? All your faculties still present? Not every day you get told you’re the new Santa, after all!”
From her spot clinging to Phoenix’s leg, Trucy loudly gasps. “WAIT, YOU’RE THE NEW SANTA?!” she squeals, her eyes practically glowing. “WOWOWOWOWOWOWWW, MY DADDY, SANTA CLAUS…!! Sarah from my class said that my Daddy was a loser, but wait until she sees me now!!”
“No, there has to be a loophole in this contract somewhere,” Phoenix grumbles, squinting at the back of a Santa business card– presumably a copy given to him by Mia, as Trucy still had the one from the deceased former Claus. “Even under North Pole jurisdiction, there’s gotta be a way out of this.”
“HUH?!” Trucy yelps, detaching herself from her father to glare at him with her hands on her hips. “Why do you WANT to find a loophole, Daddy?! You’re not really gonna try to get out of this, are you?”
“I mean, I-I can’t be freakin’ Santa Claus , Trucy, it’s– it’s insane!!”
“Well, would you rather keep working at the Borscht Bowl playing cards?” Trucy pouts. “This feels like a WAY funner job, if you ask me.”
Phoenix frowns. “I….er….that’s…actually a really good point.”
“Oh, don’t act so surprised, we all know I’m the brains of our little two-man operation.”
Maya claps Phoenix on the shoulder. “Well, either way! It doesn’t really matter if you want to be Santa or not, because you’re CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED!! BIIIITCH!”
“BIIITCH!!” Trucy echoes.
“ Trucy– ”
“Plus, I mean, if you want to be technical about it, WE’RE the ones who do most of the work,” Mia adds. “You’re more of a figurehead 364 days out of the year. It’s sort of a sweet deal, if you ask me.”
“Yeah!” Maya effuses. “Mia’s your boss, technically speaking! If she doesn’t think you’re doing a good job as Santa, she can kill you!”
“Is that the only way anyone ever loses this job?!”
“Well, chin up, pal. I’m sure you’ll do great,” Mia says, slapping Phoenix on the back enthusiastically. “Fortunately, you’ve got a whole year before you need to actually start seriously worrying about being Santa. You’ve got plenty of time to read that phone book of a manual I gave you and get the logistics in order.”
“Eurgh….I…I guess I don’t have a choice….”
“OOH MAN….I can't believe it…my Daddy is really Santa Claus!!” Trucy squees, bouncing up and down with seemingly boundless energy. “This is gonna be AWESOME!!!!”