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MONA MEGISTUS MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE ASTROLOGY MASTERCLASS
Mona Megistus sent an invite to 41 people
Mona: YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED to join me, Mona Megistus on A SPECIAL ONE WEEK DIGITAL MASTERCLASS. Learn Everything About Your Fate from Your Own Office Chair, the Stars are Waiting to Hear From YOU… for just 150$ TOTAL FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK you can learn the secrets of the universe, you can know everything the world wants to share with you… will you listen? A special course lead by acclaimed and accredited MASTER OF THE STARS, the illustrious MONA MEGISTUS, don’t miss out!! RVSP RIGHT NOW with your NON REFUNDABLE DEPOSIT before seats run out!
Tighnari left the chat
Ganyu: Sorry, I do not have the spare funds right now. Thank you for the invite. Good luck.
Yelan: sending an invite through the message app adds everyone to a group. just so you know for the future
Noelle: Um
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Thoma: Hello, Mona did you mean to send this to approximately forty people??
Lisa: and ask all of us for $125?
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Lumine: mona, this is…
Lumine: embarrassing
Childe: Anti-Pog
Mona: Leave me alone! do you want the class or not!!
Kuki Shinobu: not
Xiangling: sorry! no!
Xiangling left the chat
Xingqiu: Apologies Mona, i’m taking taekwondo this year! It would be irresponsible budgeting to grab another class
Fischl: Delicate Mona, seer of fate, I appreciate thine fine offer yet I wonder, must I acquiesce when thou offereth your service to me in pursuit of thine noble thought, entanglement, and enrichment?
Fischl: I shall decline thusly, though seek your favor in forgiveness and future furthering of futures
Beidou: look, i’m not going to pretend i’m interested but the ad looks good!
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Yoimiya: why didn’t you invite itto he’d definitely pay up
Mona: Umm....
Kujou Sara: arataki itto is... the brokest man alive
Yoimiya: AND we love him for it <3
Kuki Shinobu: fair enough
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Venti added Diluc to MONA MEGISTUS MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE ASTROLOGY MASTERCLASS
Venti left the chat
Diluc: what is this?
Lumine: scroll up
Diluc: I hate this.
Diluc added Venti to MONA MEGISTUS MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE ASTROLOGY MASTERCLASS
Diluc: explain.
Venti: no
Venti: you can read! have fun~
Venti left the chat
Jean: Before anyone else leaves, I’d like to remind all current students that we have a senior student government open house tonight at 7pm. There will be refreshments, I am picking them up myself. You can eat during speeches, if you'd prefer!
Xingqiu: Is there voting tonight, or is it just an information session?
Jean: We are picking a new student mascot! So please come by and help us pick
Jean: haha
Beidou: are you going to have oreos...
Lisa: she’ll get oreos if you show up ♡
Collei: hello, do i know most of you?
Amber: hi collei! my friend mona fucked up bad and added us all to a groupchat
Mona: Please don’t get distracted :’^( I am offering you all a VERY good deal.
Mona: It’s such a steal. You won’t be able to get a sale this good again! Never in your life! You need to act NOW!
Lumine: mona, what expensive thing did you need to buy...
Yanfei: Incorrect! You offered this exact sale 3 months and 4 days ago!
Yanfei uploaded a screenshot!
Yanfei: And again 5 months ago!
Yanfei uploaded a screenshot!
Yanfei: This is about average compared to your other course offerings throughout the last fiscal year, and overall above average pricing for online astrology courses throughout Teyvat.
Yanfei uploaded a file!
Mona: It's worth it! It’s just a really good quality course! Every penny will help me continue to untangle the mystic arts and pass even more onto you!!
Beidou: Yanfei with the receipts…
Xinyan: mistake to invite yanfei to this kinda class mona
Yanfei: Are they receipts? Or public knowledge on Mona’s facebook wall?
Xingqiu: Actually? that’s a price comparison graph
Xingqiu: You had to compile that yourself
Yanfei: From public knowledge.
Thoma: Hate it, and I don't know her, but Yanfei is right you know...
Childe: I bet we could get the same course from that new girl cheaper
Mona: NO! She's only a first year. I am a triple certified astrologer and professional astronomer!
Noelle: Who?
Razor: what
Thoma: Layla? Candace's roommate?
Collei: candace?
Lisa: mona, love you, but if you're a professional why do you need to beg your old classmates to take your little penny course?
Mona: To be helpful, duh. I'm doing you a favor. Astrology is an immensely powerful instrument of divination!
Kuki Shinobu: we are not classmates. i have never been in a class with mona...
Ayaka: Hi everyone
Ayaka: Goodbye!
Ayaka left the chat
Mona: QUIT LEAVING I AM HELPING YOU
Lisa: you're helping us?
Mona: I'm helping you SO MUCH UGH JUST LISTEN TO ME
Noelle: Not to be rude, aren't starting this course because you, like, need money…
Noelle: it's not a bad thing!! um. I'm sure its super helpful and a very good course
Yanfei uploaded a screenshot!
Yanfei: Mona, do you price match? I see that last year, exactly 261 days ago, you were offering the same course for $25 less!
Mona: Uh. No.
Yanfei: Why not?
Mona: Inflation
Diluc: I hate all of you
Childe: Do you even know what inflation is…
Mona: Uh
Childe: google it
Diluc: please don't fucking google inflation
Xinyan: oy yanfei, I can't tell if you're upset or having fun
Yanfei: :)
Amber: Everyone shut. I have an emergency.
Amber: calling for aid!
Lumine: mona always needs money tho
Mona: I DO NOT
Razor: emergency.
Albedo: ^
Albedo: Explain.
Razor: what
Amber: Bennett caught on fire
Razor: on way now
Mona: NO WHY IS BENNETT ON FIRE?
Amber: idk
Amber: benny things??
Beidou: should we call 911? what are ‘Benny things’
Sucrose: Could I ask what were you doing to cause an unsafe pyrotechnic incident of this nature? I imagine it would be hard without, um, specialized materials.
Jean: Hello, as residence head, why is Bennett on fire and should you have told me?
Amber: …
Lisa: …oho unlucky. did you have fun?
Xinyan: dont worry about it?
Amber: UH no no we are outside and definitely not in the residence at all!! don't worry!
Jean: Okay. I'll see you tonight at the meeting :)
Amber: okay yeah aha good!!
Jean: See to it that you arrive safe and well :)
Amber: OK i am safe!!!
Childe: why do we call lisa the scary one again…
Lisa: neither I nor Jean are scary at all ♡
Lisa: we are simply effective governors of the student body who are helpful all the time ♡
Albedo: I am on my way. I will bring my fire extinguisher. Please airdrop your exact location to me.
Collei: Oh, why does Albedo have a fire extinguisher?
Thoma: the man runs a diy lab, why wouldn't they?
Amber: klee!
Jean: All residences have their own fire extinguisher on every floor, and it's generally protocol to have one in every kitchen, no matter where you live.
Xingqiu: Living with Klee does demand access to one.
Yoimiya: OK BUT who actually has a fire extinguisher…
Lumine: you would if klee…
Collei: (what is klee?)
Lisa: (albedo's little pyro sister. very cute)
Xinyan: (ALSO who is candace no one told me do I know her?)
Childe: Mona's arch rivals with Klee lol
Mona: I AM NOT SHE IS JUST A NAIVE FOOLISH LITTLE GIRL, SHE ISN'T ON MY LEVEL. HOW CAN I BE RIVALS WITH A BABY
Fischl: Hark alas, doth Klee be who some deem fashionable, or even affable, or even more so endearing when set against the depths of the dark night, an inferno raging.
Childe: Klee once burnt down a government building she’s iconic! I would give her money! what has Mona done?
Lisa: pick less fights, dear. it's unbecoming.
Amber: klee is a 6 year old demolitions expert and we love her
Albedo: Guys, be nice to Klee. She's a menace and a hazard, but also a child. I’ll be there in 8 minutes. Stay put.
Razor: I am lost
Albedo: Razor, airdrop me your location. I will pick you up.
Diluc: Don't bother. I'll find him. I'm coming
Noelle: Um. Is Benny still on fire
Childe: mommy diluc coming too…
Diluc: Never call me that again.
Amber: kinda!!
Lisa: razor take a picture of this hollywood moment ♡
Xinyan: Candace is one of the new girls on the chess team i think
Beidou: whoever bennett is is literally burning alive dont take a picture?
Xinyan: benny is going to be fine lmao! third time this week
Amber: uh
Amber: oh shit
Xinyan: oh, we have a chess team???
Keqing: She is not on the chess team. Candace is Dehya’s girlfriend.
Childe: yeah we're best in the country at the post-secondary level lol
Xinyan: (guys who is dehya)
Thoma: (girl’s volleyball captain)
Xinyan: woah we have so many clubs
Xinyan: you really know everyone, thoma
Gorou: sorry i only just opened my phone
Gorou: i dont know any of you is this like, normal
Gorou: like this is. fun. but i think i bought smth from mona off fb marketplace like a year ago
Gorou: so i literally don’t know any of you
Gorou: including mona
Thoma: It's a big school! We also have a bagel club and a lacrosse team
Gorou: sorry
Xinyan: (what's lacrosse)
Keqing: (maybe you just don’t know things have you considered that)
Xinyan: (yikes)
Xinyan: yeah this is pretty normal!
Yoimiya: More or less
Kaedehara Kazuha: I don't know most of the people here either :)
Mona: You'd know MORE about us if you took my class!! You'd know EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW. Let me show you astrology and astrology show you the secrets of life!!!!
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