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1
The first time Macey fell for a girl, she didn’t even realize it.
It was in the 3rd Grade, at the ripe age of 8. At first. She didn’t know what was happening, as is custom with childhood crushes. It was a girl in her class named Nadia, who had shoved Bobby Trink on the playground when he called Macey a spoiled brat.
She was also the first real friend Macey ever had.
It started as crushes normally do: always wanting to spend time with them, wanting to impress them, and buying gifts for them. Macey did all of them. She begged and pleaded with her mother to set up playdates, often screaming and crying until her father tried to convince her mother that she didn’t need all of her friends to be high class. Whenever they did manage to spend time together, Macey went along with whatever Nadia wanted to do; if she was happy. Macey was happy.
The problems started with the gifts. You see, it’s rather hard for an 8-year-old to go shopping, even if she is the Senator’s daughter. Macey’s mother never seemed to have time to take her to the mall, and the nannies weren’t allowed to take her anywhere other than the park or the hospital, if need be (not that it stopped Miss Polk from taking her to the ice cream place every Friday). So, Macey took matters into her own hands.
By taking one of her mother’s rose gold necklaces inlaid with sapphires to school to give to Nadia. It was a disaster, to say the least. The teacher, meaning the best, noticed Macey giving the necklace to Nadia and brought them to the office, where she promptly called Macey’s mother. Cynthia was enraged. Though she managed to contain herself at the school, she blew up once they returned home.
“What on God’s good Earth could you POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THINKING?!”
“You’re so irresponsible!”
“This is exactly why I don’t want you hanging around someone like her!”
Macey didn’t understand what her mother meant by “someone like her,” and she didn’t think she wanted to. Despite the weak protests from her father, she was moved to a different, more expensive, school.
And she never saw Nadia again.
2
The second time, Macey was a little more aware.
It was 8th grade this time, but she was still in that annoying prissy ass school. Not that she would ever let her mother hear her say that. Despite all the stuck-up pricks at the school, she managed to find some friends.
Her parents had pushed her to befriend very specific people at Collegiate School; people who could help her father win elections and fund her mother’s cosmetics company. Out of all of them, Macey had three she called friends. Wilkins Bomeguini, who she knew as Willy; Hendrick Blackthorne, who she knew as Rick; and finally, Rick’s twin: Cassandra.
Cassie. Her name was Cassie. And she had to be the most gorgeous girl Macey had ever laid eyes on. She had her Celtic father’s green eyes and her Brazilian mother’s… well, everything else. Thick, black hair that curled and frizzed in the humidity, dark skin, and the most beautiful smile Macey had ever seen.
By now, Macey knew she at least a tad bit gay. In the 7th grade, she’d overheard some kids talking about how some people liked the same gender, and in that moment, Macey knew she wasn’t just admiring the other girls.
She’d researched it. She’d taken sexuality quizzes on Buzzfeed. She discovered that some people were fine with them, and some people weren’t. Including her parents.
They were eating dinner together, all three of them, for the first time in a while, when Macey brought the topic up. She was pushing her salad around on her plate, unsure of how to bring up the topic, when her father looked at her.
“Are you feeling alright?”
Macey jerked her head up. “Hm? Oh, yeah, I was just… thinking.”
“About?” James raised his eyebrow and looked at his daughter expectantly.
“About… a rumor that’s been going around. One of the boys on the soccer team supposedly has a crush on this guy in the Debate Club.”
Senator McHenry was opening his mouth to say something when his wife beat him to it.
“I should certainly hope he doesn't! It’s not right, those two. They both ought to find some nice girls to settle down with. Their poor parents; I couldn’t imagine the feeling if my child was queer-minded.” Cynthia scoffed as she cut her tuna steak.
She might not be able to imagine the feeling, but her daughter most certainly could.
So she kept quiet.
Two weeks after the conversation, Macey found herself (and her friends) invited to a party hosted by the headmaster’s son. Private School parties, Macey discovered, were the same as Public School ones, except the booze was more expensive (because of course there’s going to be booze when the parents of the person throwing the party have a taste for Mendis Brandy).
Two hours into the night, a somewhat drunk Dylan Corwest jumped onto a table and announced: “Everyone in a circle! We’re playing truth or dare!”
Macey shook her head fondly as Willy dragged both her and Cassandra to the group of people in the living room, and then tried to contain her blush as Cassie grabbed her hand and pulled her to sit on the floor. God, what was wrong with her?! It might’ve been the two drinks she’d had, but at that moment, Cassie looked absolutely stunning in her gray blouse and jeans.
The dares were nothing too crazy; just prank calls and jumping in the pool, but Macey should’ve counted on her poor luck.
Rick turned to Macey, one of those smirks on his face. “Macey! Truth or dare.”
She huffed and rolled her eyes, “Dare, obviously. What kind of loser do you think I am?”
If possible, his smirk widened, and Cassie narrowed her eyes in suspicion.
“You’re not a loser at all! Anyways, I dare you to kiss my dearest sister.” He then popped a cookie in his mouth as if nothing happened. The crowd broke out into the obligatory oooh as Macey’s jaw dropped in shock.
Cassie turned to her with a smirk on her face that mirrored her brother’s, “Surely the thought of kissing me can’t be thatbad, Mace.”
Mace. She called her Mace. Dear God she was going to implode and melt at the same time. Macey internally cursed herself and turned to face Cassie, mentally preparing herself because it totally wasn’t like her first kiss was about to be with this hot girl that she has a crush on!
Oh my God Cassie was going to be her first kiss.
Macey gulped as Cassie scooted closer, bringing her hand to her cheek and leaning in, leaving it to Macey to close the distance.
THINGS MACEY MCHENRY NOTICED WHILE SHE WAS KISSING CASSANDRA BLACKTHORNE:
Cassie’s lips were warm
Cassie’s lips were soft
Cassie smelled like coconut
There was a lot of wolf whistling
The last item is what brought Macey to her senses. She pulled away, unable to hide her blush this time. She let her eyes wander back to Cassie, who was smiling softly at her. Macey smiled back.
Macey fell back on her bed with a sigh after she climbed through her window, a giddy, rather unmacey-like grin covering her face. And, as she snuck into the bathroom to shower the smell of alcohol away, she noticed, for the first time, the dark maroon lipstick smeared around her mouth.
It’s over before it even starts. After a scandal concerning missing money and the stability of the school’s structure, Collegiate School is shut down, sending Macey to another school.
Cassie moves to Brazil. She said something along the lines of her mother’s family needed support, but Macey was barely listening.
3
The third time was halfway through her freshman year.
Macey’s parents were really starting to get tired of her delinquency, she could tell. The disappointed sighs from her father and angry glares of why can’t you just be better from her mother were proof of that. She’d been sent to several different schools throughout Virginia, and even was once sent to a boarding school in Geneva, but now she was at Independent McLean.
And Macey hated it with every bone in her being.
She had settled quite nicely, in her opinion, into her new stone-cold-bitch personality. Not many people talked to her, but there were plenty of people talking about her. Rumors spread through every crowd that surrounded her and every class she took; swirling throughout the school like vipers made of smoke and only deepening her hatred of one of the top schools in Virginia.
Which is why it was so surprising to her when Mikala Penray nervously approached her in the courtyard during lunch. What surprised her even more was Mikala handing her a hand-painted picture of her, sitting in Chemistry, illuminated by the rays of light from the window behind her. For once, Macey was speechless. She had no idea what to say, especially when the shorter girl began rambling about she knew it was probably weird and creepy to paint some random person, but she had looked so heavenly with the lightning that she just had to!
For the first time in a while, Macey smiles. An actual smile, and asks her if she’d like to get coffee.
It wasn’t long before they started dating. Macey could remember how nervous Mikala was (and honestly, she was too); tugging on her short brown hair and staring at the ground as she asked if Macey would like to do more than just get coffee.
For the first time in a while, Macey is happy. But she should’ve known her terrible luck would come back to haunt her.
Cynthia had started to get suspicious. At first, she was simply surprised that her daughter had a friend, but then she started to notice things. She noticed how affectionate Macey seemed around Mikala. She noticed their tendency to hold hands. She noticed how Mikala was the only person Macey had ever invited to go to events. Her husband brushed off her concerns, saying that he was happy his daughter had a friend at all.
What really sealed the deal was when she was at lunch with some of the other mothers (she’d never refer to them as friends), and one of them mentioned how Mikala and Macey were glued to the hip.
“My dearest Flynn- you do know Flynn, don’t you?- says they’re dating! Did you know that, Cynthia?” Margaret said innocently while drizzling dressing onto her salad.
She freezes, fork halfway to her mouth. Her daughter, dating a girl? She set the fork down and forced a smile, “Well, I’m sure your dearest Flynn is mistaken, Maggie.”
“Oh no,” Mary Tokelau butts in, “I saw them together as I was picking Sarah up and asked. She said they started dating a month or two ago. Took everyone completely by surprise, apparently; shy little Mikala Penray dating someone like Macey McHenry.”
Macey knows something is wrong when she walks into the living room and finds both her parents sitting on the couch. That, and the glint of anger in her mother’s eye.
“Macey, darling, why don’t you sit down? We have something we’d like to discuss with you.” Her mother’s voice is sickly sweet, and Macey can tell that she wasn’t asking.
“Okay, well, can this be quick? I have an assignment for Geography that I have to-”
“Sit down, Macey.” Cynthia is definitely angry.
And it scares her. She’d seen her mother angry more than she probably should have, but this- this was different. This felt dangerous. So she sits.
It’s her father that speaks up this time, “Macey, your mother and I have decided, due to… recent developments, that you’ll be switching schools.”
She thinks her heart stops. Switching schools? Now?
But Macey can’t let them see how much this bothers her, so she rolls her eyes and huffs, “Seriously? Now? I haven’t even done anyth-”
“You haven’t done anything? Really? What about sneaking around with that girl?” Her mother’s voice is filled with venom and disgust, and Macey remembers the conversation oh so long ago at the kitchen table. Senator McHenry shifts uncomfortably where he sits.
Now her heart really stops.
They know.
They know she’s dating Mikala.
“I-”
“No. Stop talking. There will be no discussion on this matter. You will be going someplace else. You will not date girls. You will not even think about dating them. You will forget about Mikala Penray, am I clear?”
Macey feels tears well up in her eyes and, as she races up to her room, realizes that this is the first time in a long time that she’s cried. She flops onto her bed and sobs. What else is supposed to do? She doesn’t know how she’s going to tell Mikala. She can’t even-
A soft knock at the door interrupts her thoughts, and, to her surprise, her father pokes his head in.
“How’re you doing?” It’s a timid question. James McHenry has no idea what he’s doing, and his daughter knows that as she drops her head back into her pillow and ignores him.
He hesitates before slowly crossing the room to tentatively sit on Macey’s bed. He knows this is his fault. He can tell by the lack of words he has to comfort her. Maybe he should’ve heard his sister out when she yelled at him for being a shitty parent before he cut her out of his life.
“You really liked her, didn’t you?” It’s not a question; he already knows the answer. Despite not being around all the time (or most of the time), the senator could tell his daughter had been happy. In fact, he hadn’t seen her that happy since she was small enough to be picked up.
Macey sat up, sniffling, “Yeah dad, I did.”
James turned to look at her. “I’m sorry.”
Her eyes started tearing up again. She couldn’t remember the last time her father had actually… well, done anything fatherly. Carefully, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and she buried her face into his shoulder and sobbed again.
“I’ll talk to your mother, okay?” He said quietly as he rubbed her back. She nodded into his shoulder, still sobbing.
Macey knew when her father said he’d talk to her mother, it wouldn’t end well. She sat on the top of the stairs, listening to the argument happening on the floor below.
“Absolutely not! We cannot allow her to stay there!”
“She was happy, Cynthia!”
“Then she can find something else to be happy about, James! Something that doesn’t involve…. Being interested in women! My daughter will not be like that!”
“SHE’S MY DAUGHTER TOO, CYNTHIA!”
Macey held her breath. Her parents’ arguments over her were nothing new, but her father had never actually reacted like this before. Then and there, she decides that maybe, just maybe, she can make some room for her father in her heart.
But then she hears her mother’s quiet: “She will be moved. End of story.” And that heart cracks, just the slightest.
4
She almost laughs when she hears that she’ll be attending an all girls school.
As Macey looks up at the Gallagher Academy For Exceptional Young Women, she knows exactly the outcome.
Or she thinks she does. When Macey meets her roommates, the bored expression on her face is definitely just to keep her cover and is definitely not to hide the fact that she thinks her roommates are total hotties.
Learning that it’s a spy school changes things; it lights a fire in her and she realizes that she doesn’t have to be the heiress to her mother’s company anymore. That realization is only the start. She actually tries in this school.
In fact, she’s trying so hard to do well that she doesn’t even realize that she has a crush on fucking Rebecca Baxter until it stares her right in the face.
Macey walks into her room one day to find Liz (who cowers a little when Macey walks into the room) and Cammie studying on Liz’s bed, while Bex does push-ups on the floor in the middle of the fucking room. Macey totally doesn’t stare at her. Bex stops, noticing that she’s being watched.
She glares at Macey, “Like what you see?”
And Macey wants to kick herself as she instinctively replies with: “As if there’s anything worth seeing.”
She wants to kick herself even more when she insults Liz, bringing the blonde to tears. It also causes Bex to launch herself at Macey, grabbing her by the collar. Whatever fate awaits her is stopped by Mr. Solomon, but Macey was too busy internally debating the fact that it was hot?!
That night, for the first time, Macey sneaks away to the P&E Barn. At first, she’s trying to decipher her crush on Bex as she punches the bag that’s hanging from the rafters. Yes, she was pretty, but she also hated Macey. It took her a little while to realize that it might be because she was just a tad bit jealous of her. Bex was pretty. Bex was strong. Bex was sure of herself. Bex didn’t have to pretend that she was better than everyone else, because she actually was.
But then the punches become full of guilt and anger at herself.
Why did she always have to be such a bitch?
Why wouldn’t she let her walls down?
And the voice in Macey’s head slowly became her mother’s.
Why are you so difficult?
What on God’s green earth were you thinking?!
Why are you like that?!
“Your stance is wrong.”
Macey whirled around to find Bex (because of course it was), leaning on the doorway of the barn. She mentally cursed herself for not noticing. She was supposed to be a spy, goddamnit!
“Pardon?”
Bex walked closer. “Your feet are in the wrong positions, and you aren’t hitting the bag correctly.”
Macey swallowed whatever retort was making its way into her mouth, “Could you show me the right way, then?”
Bex seemed surprised by the response, but nodded as she walked over to the bag. “Your feet are supposed to be here, and you need to hit the same spot on the bag.”
“It’s kind of hard to hit the same spot when the bag is swinging,” Macey grumbled as she took position in front of the bag.
Bex hesitated for a split second before making her way over to the other side of the bag and relying with: “I’ll hold it for you then."
An awkward silence filled the barn as Macey punched the bag. She knew she needed to explain herself. She needed to stop being such a bitch. She needed-
“I’m sorry for being so… difficult.” The apology is out before she even realizes she’s said it, but she continues nonetheless, “It’s just- I’m used to people having the same attitude back at me, and it hasn’t really sunk in yet that I don’t have to be a bitch to defend myself.”
Bex gives Macey a small smile, “I’m sorry for trying to beat your ass.”
“No you’re not.”
“No, I’m not.”
They both laugh for a bit, and Macey tries her very best to not notice that Bex is very cute when she laughs.
She fails.
Macey stops punching the bag in favor of continuing the conversation. “I’m also sorry for insulting your girlfriend.” Because Bex and Liz were dating, right? Macey had never gotten clear confirmation, but it sure seemed like they were an item.
“I- what!? I mean, I appreciate the apology and all, but we- we’re not dating!” Bex spluttered, shocked and flustered.
Macey but back a grin, “Oh, my bad. You’re not dating, got it.” Yet. Macey added on silently.
5
Macey was less shocked when she started crushing on Cammie.
It had been a long time coming, to be completely honest. Cammie was the one who saved her life in Boston. She was the one who comforted her on the dock, who cared for her in her most vulnerable moment. The one who chased after her.
Cammie felt like home to her.
Which, Macey knows, is completely cheesy and ridiculous, but it was the truth. She felt safe and comfortable around Cammie in a way that she didn’t with any of the other girls. Macey thought she was doing a wonderful job hiding her (not so) little crush on Cam, but apparently, she wasn’t doing as well as she thought.
“So” Special Agent Abigail Cameron let the word draw out as she sat in the chair across from Macey on the train, “How long have you had a crush on my niece?”
If she had been drinking water, Macey would have spit it directly at her bodyguard’s face. “I beg your pardon?”
Agent Cameron smirked, and repeated the question, “How long have you had a crush on Cammie?”
Macey opened her mouth to form some sort of response, and then froze. How long had she had this crush?
“Uh, I think it started a little bit after Boston?” She didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, and judging by the glint in Abby’s eyes, she knew she didn’t mean for it to.
“Nothing’s going to happen. Cam’s straighter than my grandmother’s coffin,” Macey cut Abby off as she opened her mouth.
“That’s an… interesting comparison.”
“It’s the truth. Besides, it’s just a crush. It’ll go away pretty soon.” It was most definitely not just a crush, but Agent Cameron didn’t need to know that. Macey had spent enough nights having a crisis to know that she’d had a crush on Cammie before the incident in Boston, but it was only after everything had happened that Macey had actually started falling for her.
Judging by the way Abby kept quiet, she knew Macey was lying.
Sometimes Macey really hated being around a highly trained operative 24/7.
+1
Out of every romantic interest Macey had ever had, Preston Winters was the one that surprised her the most.
By age of 18 (and with several late-night crises and Buzzfeed quizzes), Macey had figured out she was bisexual. She knew she was attracted to men, but it’s hard to be attracted to men when there are no men to be attracted to. Unless you’re Cammie and somehow manage to secretly date some random kid from Roseville.
It wasn’t the fact that Preston was a dude. No, what surprised her the most was that it was dorky, awkward, politician’s son Preston that she fell for.
Honestly? Looking back, Macey isn’t so surprised. Despite being the unlikely choice, Preston had been there for her. He looked past the bitchy personality she’d created and, eventually, befriended her.
It helped that he actually cared about her, too. Just like with Cammie, Preston had refused to let her go, refused to let her be fine. Which, okay, sounds kind of pathetic when it sounds like she fell for anyone who gave her positive attention, but there was a shortage of people in Macey’s life that actually gave a shit about her wellbeing.
So yeah, she fell for Preston Winters.
Macey let a small smile make its way to her face as she sat across the room, watching Preston show off the engagement ring he’d gotten her. That was on his finger. She watched as Zach played along and fawned over it; asking when she had proposed to him and where she had gotten the ring.
She turned to face her father, who had taken a seat beside her. Her mother had refused to show up, unsurprisingly. Although everything looked fine and dandy to the public, Macey had cut contact with her mother.
“So, when’s the wedding?” James asked as he picked up one of the mini sandwiches that Preston insisted be provided.
Macey hummed slightly, eyes catching Bex and Liz talking quietly in the corner. “We haven’t really thought about it yet. Preston suggested having it during the winter. Something about making the officiator Frosty the Snowman and having a snowball fight to the death.”
The former senator laughed, swallowing his food before teasing his daughter, “That’s the man you want to marry?”
“Absolutely.” She replied.
“Y’know, since you’ll be Mrs. Winters, the least you could do is name one of your children Henry.” James sighed.
Macey bit her lip, “Well, actually…”
James sat up straighter, “You’re already pregnant?!”
“I- Dad keep your voice down! No, I am not pregnant.” Macey hissed at her dad and locked eyes with Bex, who was raising an eyebrow at her.
“Whew! Thought I wasn’t going to be able to give him The Talk,” he exaggerated relief.
“The Talk? Really, Dad?” She huffed, “Whatever, the point is, we were talking about it a few months ago and decided that it’s going to be Mr. and Mrs. McHenry.”
James paused, “Seriously?”
“Yep”
“Huh”
“Mhm”
“So this means you’ll be naming your firstborn son James, right?”
“Dad!”